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(Some Guy)   Fraternity denies buttchugging via unintentionally hilarious press conference   (outkickthecoverage.com) divider line 214
    More: Followup, press conference, University of Tennessee  
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17926 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2012 at 7:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-03 08:28:44 PM
The important thing is that he's definitely NOT GAY.
 
2012-10-03 08:29:12 PM
The Rum Butt-Chugger is a Curious Chav.
 
2012-10-03 08:30:24 PM

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


I didn't until now.

Now I know that it's not only stupid and juvenile but ALSO really really gay.
 
2012-10-03 08:30:50 PM

BigPoppaPorno: If you get drunk as hell by buttchugging could you still pass a breathalyzer test?


Fartalyzer?
 
2012-10-03 08:34:05 PM

BigPoppaPorno: If you get drunk as hell by buttchugging could you still pass a breathalyzer test?


No. Breathalyzers do not work that way.
 
2012-10-03 08:34:44 PM

ZodiacMan: This guy is stupid. Eventually people would have forgotten about it and he could have gone on with his life, but because he lawyered up and went public, now everybody will know him forever to be a butt-chugger.


Yup. He's the 2010's own Star Wars kid, except he's doing it to himself.
 
2012-10-03 08:36:46 PM
This press conference is so unbelievable that I expect to find out is some bizarre viral marketing effort.
 
2012-10-03 08:39:03 PM
imageshack.us
 
2012-10-03 08:39:27 PM
Someone in a Frat did something incredibly stupid? The hell you say!
 
2012-10-03 08:41:06 PM

theorellior:
All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


You sound frat.
 
2012-10-03 08:48:51 PM
Had this guy just shut up, and laid low, this would have all blown over, and we'd be laughing at the next idiot by now.

No. He had to just go and invoke the Streisand effect.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-10-03 08:49:05 PM
I heard about cocaine being loaded in an empty Tylenol capsule and burying it finger deep (dubbed, the Space Shuttle) but having a wine enema is well - meh! I guess we can expect this guy to go on the lecture circuit, asked to speak at graduations and signing autographs.
 
2012-10-03 08:52:03 PM
Wait, wait....."Butch-Hugging"???

Being affectionate towards manish lesbians is bad?
 
2012-10-03 08:57:35 PM

FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."


While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.
 
2012-10-03 09:00:19 PM
I just watched the press conference. That guy looks extremely distressed and uncomfortable. I would guess others put him up to this and he doesn't have much control over the situation or know what the hell is going on.

Butt chugger, if you're reading this...most of us have done wacky things and though it may seem like a big deal now, it will pass. Don't take it so seriously. It's funny, but it's really not that big of a deal. We all have to learn to laugh at ourselves.

Ok, off the presidential debate thread so I can laugh at them (and do some chugging)
 
2012-10-03 09:02:19 PM
It's too bad their homophobia steered them to a litigator instead of an intellectual property lawyer. Licensing and endorsements could have endowed the frat to operate forever, but instead they're just going to be ifamous. They'll appreciate their error one day when they learn that being a meme doesn't pay any bills.
 
2012-10-03 09:06:03 PM

ultraholland: tall guy on the left wipes his brow and looks away at 9:36 when possible evidence of a sexual assault is mentioned. Why so nervous, bro?


Yup.
 
2012-10-03 09:16:09 PM

InspectorZero: "BRO-ton, not BROUGHT-on. It's Scotch [sic]". Dumbasses.


Dammit. Why'd he have to mention that he's Scottish? ??

*runs to hide in corner*
 
2012-10-03 09:17:36 PM
The real funny part is, all this denial crap is just making it worse.
 
2012-10-03 09:21:38 PM
You know, that whole police report reminded me of a story from my freshman year... three years ago, in fact.

I was seen as the up-tight, prude, yet responsible person in my dorm, so one night, I got a call from one of the girls saying that her roommate wasn't feeling good and that I needed to take care of her. I go over to their suite, and find other girls taking care of her. At this point, she is in and out of consciousness on the floor in her room. She's topless, and has vomited all over her bed and clothes... you could smell it out in the hallway. As it turns out, she was at a party at the Sig Chi house about half an hour before then and asked someone for a beer. She had the one beer and then got sick. She wasn't throwing up because she was blackout drunk... someone had slipped her something in her beer. Two pledges from that house then dumped her off at her dorm and went back to the party to keep drinking.

Like in the police report, it was impossible to get a straight answer out of anyone present at that party about what happened. The two pledges took a poisoned girl, dropped her off without any real supervision, and went right back to hanging with their bros. We're lucky she didn't hit her head, have an adverse reaction, or choke on her own vomit. Nothing was done to find out who was slipping roofies into drinks, and the party kept going, because who cares about a potential rapist in your midst when the brotherhood and beer are good? Fortunately, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but she was so ill the next day that she had to miss work, which got her fired.

Party-hard frats are almost as bad as churches in covering up bad behavior. They're operated under the premise of teaching leadership and brotherhood, but when young women are being rendered defenseless in your house and you don't do anything to help her or stop a wannabe rapist, you're not being a leader and your brothers are human garbage. Universities generally don't care what happens until it embarrasses them as well. Things that would get an independent thrown out of school and charged if it happened in the dorms are swept aside as "total frat moves". It's ridiculous. It gives a bad name to the guys that are there for the right reasons (like I was) and teaches the frat daddies that they can do whatever they want and not face consequences.
 
2012-10-03 09:22:48 PM

oh_please: Indubitably: Who gives a shiat?

You?

fark a hole in the ground for all I care, man.


Nope, I dont give a shiat either, but when your parent's lawyer has to call a press conference on the noon news to tell everyone you're NOT gay, and add the words "buttchugging" multiple times, well, that's just comedy gold, Jerry.


A-greed.
 
2012-10-03 09:23:40 PM
Lead by example, chuggers.

Respect.
 
2012-10-03 09:28:36 PM

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


Well maybe buttchugging doesn't necessarily mean gay.
But doesn't being gay usually involve some sort of buttchugging?
 
2012-10-03 09:31:31 PM

DownDaRiver: fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?

Well maybe buttchugging doesn't necessarily mean gay.
But doesn't being gay usually involve some sort of buttchugging?


If a dude does something that doesn't necessarily imply homosexuality but then goes screaming DUDE I'M NOT GAY... well... yeah, you are, because that's the first place you went with it.
 
2012-10-03 09:33:05 PM
wow and they used to think we were crazy in the 70's for smoking pot.
 
2012-10-03 09:42:52 PM

Marine1: You know, that whole police report reminded me of a story from my freshman year... three years ago, in fact.

I was seen as the up-tight, prude, yet responsible person in my dorm, so one night, I got a call from one of the girls saying that her roommate wasn't feeling good and that I needed to take care of her. I go over to their suite, and find other girls taking care of her. At this point, she is in and out of consciousness on the floor in her room. She's topless, and has vomited all over her bed and clothes... you could smell it out in the hallway. As it turns out, she was at a party at the Sig Chi house about half an hour before then and asked someone for a beer. She had the one beer and then got sick. She wasn't throwing up because she was blackout drunk... someone had slipped her something in her beer. Two pledges from that house then dumped her off at her dorm and went back to the party to keep drinking.

Like in the police report, it was impossible to get a straight answer out of anyone present at that party about what happened. The two pledges took a poisoned girl, dropped her off without any real supervision, and went right back to hanging with their bros. We're lucky she didn't hit her head, have an adverse reaction, or choke on her own vomit. Nothing was done to find out who was slipping roofies into drinks, and the party kept going, because who cares about a potential rapist in your midst when the brotherhood and beer are good? Fortunately, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but she was so ill the next day that she had to miss work, which got her fired.

Party-hard frats are almost as bad as churches in covering up bad behavior. They're operated under the premise of teaching leadership and brotherhood, but when young women are being rendered defenseless in your house and you don't do anything to help her or stop a wannabe rapist, you're not being a leader and your brothers are human garbage. Universities generally don't care what happens until it embarrasse ...




So....you didn't get pledged ehh??
 
2012-10-03 09:44:55 PM

Great Porn Dragon: /preferred consuming alcohol in tabletop-gaming settings
//drunken World of Darkness and WH40K for the win!
///still haven't improved much, if anything, it's now evolved into drunken Rogue Trader for the win


Hey, it works for our Deadlands: Hell on Earth games.

/Gotta try it on Warmachine, tho
 
2012-10-03 09:50:39 PM
i.imgur.com
"Hi, darling, I'm Fanzia, and this part of your initiation is called 'butt-chugging'"
 

The dude shiat himself and in the process of cleaning it up, they discovered trauma to his ass. The cops probably saw enema tubes laying around with the Franzia boxes and put two and two together. It's not rocket science.

If I was a reporter, though I'd have asked (before the ridiculous "wedgie" excuse for the rectal trauma): "So you claim you are not gay, but with the rectal trauma, are you claiming another fraternity member anally raped you when you were passed out?"
 
2012-10-03 09:50:58 PM

brap: Fleet and Zima may want to team up and make personal buttchugger six packs, strike while the iron is hot.  I look at this as a marketing opportunity, dude if you want cash you could be the Jared of buttchugging.  Claim to have lost 100 lbs. buttchugging and you're golden.
 
Speaking of buttchugging, when are the Presidential Debates?


OMG. You've got me laughing so hard, I'm crying over here.
 
2012-10-03 09:51:08 PM

MagSeven: Wow. White people have upped the ante! Your move Japan!


They take sake in the eyeballs
 
2012-10-03 09:52:07 PM

Marine1: You know, that whole police report reminded me of a story from my freshman year... three years ago, in fact.

I was seen as the up-tight, prude, yet responsible person in my dorm, so one night, I got a call from one of the girls saying that her roommate wasn't feeling good and that I needed to take care of her. I go over to their suite, and find other girls taking care of her. At this point, she is in and out of consciousness on the floor in her room. She's topless, and has vomited all over her bed and clothes... you could smell it out in the hallway. As it turns out, she was at a party at the Sig Chi house about half an hour before then and asked someone for a beer. She had the one beer and then got sick. She wasn't throwing up because she was blackout drunk... someone had slipped her something in her beer. Two pledges from that house then dumped her off at her dorm and went back to the party to keep drinking.

Like in the police report, it was impossible to get a straight answer out of anyone present at that party about what happened. The two pledges took a poisoned girl, dropped her off without any real supervision, and went right back to hanging with their bros. We're lucky she didn't hit her head, have an adverse reaction, or choke on her own vomit. Nothing was done to find out who was slipping roofies into drinks, and the party kept going, because who cares about a potential rapist in your midst when the brotherhood and beer are good? Fortunately, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but she was so ill the next day that she had to miss work, which got her fired.

Party-hard frats are almost as bad as churches in covering up bad behavior. They're operated under the premise of teaching leadership and brotherhood, but when young women are being rendered defenseless in your house and you don't do anything to help her or stop a wannabe rapist, you're not being a leader and your brothers are human garbage. Universities generally don't care what happens until it embarrasse ...


You're not Spentmiles and this post turned out uninteresting.
 
2012-10-03 09:52:40 PM
Oh... and I can't wait until the phone cam video (vertically oriented, of course, as it would be a douchebag recording it) hits YouTube or LiveLeak of him or his frat brothers butt-chugging.
 
2012-10-03 09:53:38 PM
I cannot believe that they're running with the 'jeans bruised his anus when they picked him up by the belt' explanation.
It seems kind of implausible.

That said, they will definitely get some traction out of the HIIPA violation. Probably a decent settlement from the university due to police & health care workers revealing health info.

/No homo
 
2012-10-03 09:56:27 PM

God-is-a-Taco: StRalphTheLiar: ,cookiefleck:


I was trying to be polite.

I'm think he's prone to "wide stances", but my gaydar was built from run-down refrigerator parts in a basement in Stalingrad so who knows.


Welcome to favorites!
 
2012-10-03 10:01:33 PM
I would never pour liquor up my own ass. The gerbil can't handle that much booze.

/Was in a fraternity
//Saw equally stupid/homoerotic things
///Enjoyed staying reasonably sober and ripping on brothers who did do it
 
2012-10-03 10:05:07 PM
scottydoesntknow:
basemetal:
Dude, you are going to ALWAYS be known as Butt Chugger. You won't even be able to move away to get away from the Butt Chugger nickname.

BUTT CHUGGER!

That's my thing. They always say "any publicity is good publicity", well unless you planned on being a fetish pornstar, this is NOT good publicity.


Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove seems to have done quite well for himself.
 
2012-10-03 10:54:06 PM

Gunny Walker: FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."

While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.


it was "rectal bruising". How the hell do you get rectal bruising because someone picked you up by your belt? That farking doesn't happen. Something or "someone" went up his butt.
 
2012-10-03 10:56:01 PM

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


No, but men pouring wine up each other's asses is.
 
2012-10-03 10:57:57 PM
It's not the ButtChugger title that's going to ruin his job prospects, it's his complete unwillingness to be accountable for his own actions that is.
 
2012-10-03 11:05:36 PM
My client is not gay, he is a straight man. I could tell because he didn't look all that enthusiastic when he was farking me in the ass.
 
2012-10-03 11:06:19 PM

lizardbrain: It's not the ButtChugger title that's going to ruin his job prospects, it's his complete unwillingness to be accountable for his own actions that is.


If that's so, then this guy will be a CEO in no time...
 
2012-10-03 11:09:09 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I would never pour liquor up my own ass. The gerbil can't handle that much booze.

/Was in a fraternity
//Saw equally stupid/homoerotic things
///Enjoyed staying reasonably sober and ripping on brothers who did do it


That's like 50% of all homoerotic fiction.
 
2012-10-03 11:13:19 PM

Warchild0: Ego edo infantia cattus: Did any one else think that his lip smacking at the end of each sentence was a little... well... gay?

I couldn't even pay attention to all the Buttchugging talk with all that annoying smacking going on. What the hell did he have in his mouth that was making that noise every time he opened it???


Scared as hell, IMO. He probably doesn't have a speck of saliva in his mouth.
 
2012-10-03 11:21:27 PM

Sliding Carp: ...one giant leap for buttchugging.


One small.... rubber hose for butt.... one giant leap.... for buttchugging.
 
2012-10-03 11:32:33 PM
img560.imageshack.us

"Let me just say this, its good to gainfully employed once again"
 
2012-10-03 11:41:03 PM

AeAe: Gunny Walker: FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."

While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.

it was "rectal bruising". How the hell do you get rectal bruising because someone picked you up by your belt? That farking doesn't happen. Something or "someone" went up his butt.


They neglected to mention that his jeans have a built-in dildo in the seat. Y'know, for the closeted queer on the go.
 
2012-10-03 11:41:42 PM

scrumpox: I cannot believe that they're running with the 'jeans bruised his anus when they picked him up by the belt' explanation.
It seems kind of implausible.

That said, they will definitely get some traction out of the HIIPA violation. Probably a decent settlement from the university due to police & health care workers revealing health info.

/No homo


Maybe not, since he's the one who brought all this into the public eye with his "I wasn't buttchugging, I got drunk the old-fashioned way" excuse. I'm not sure he can claim violation of privacy when he doubled down on his privacy violation. It's like a rape victim holding a press conference to claim she was a virgin before the rape--then she can't sue the newspaper for revealing her identity, you know?
 
2012-10-03 11:45:27 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Great Porn Dragon: (Seriously...butt-chugging? Where do even frat boys get that idea? Maybe one of them was a student in Mesoamerican archaeology is the only thing I can think of...)

There was at least one Law & Order episode about vaginal cocaine use, so my guess would be TV.


TV, the internet, stuff like that.

It's shown up here on fark in circumcision threads, shows up in a lot of the "homosexual = AIDS" arguments, anatomy and biology classes can end up imparting the information while discussing the digestive system, and as soon as ONE frat brother has the meme, "butt-chugging gets you drunk fast" it will spread like an STD across the entire fraternity.

It is a recurring memetic agent that is particularly infectious to frat boys and other binge-drinkers.

It is also dangerous, as unlike regular drinking you cannot vomit out the alcohol to avoid fatal alcohol poisoning.
 
2012-10-03 11:46:23 PM

Sticky Hands: fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?

It was fruity wine.


That actually made me chorkle, which is a combination of chuckling and then half-coughing some lung crap up and then choking on it, while still chuckling.
 
2012-10-03 11:49:58 PM

AeAe: Gunny Walker: FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."

While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.

it was "rectal bruising". How the hell do you get rectal bruising because someone picked you up by your belt? That farking doesn't happen. Something or "someone" went up his butt.


Perhaps the hand slipped from the belt and a finger or two went up his butt. Accidentally, of course.
 
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