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(The Sun)   US scientists wanting female volunteers for Orgasmatron beaten by volunteer for Sun Newspaper (who just happened to be there)   (thesun.co.uk ) divider line 82
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17103 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2003 at 5:42 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-11-27 04:03:46 PM  
"... and Choada Boy!"
 
2003-11-27 05:21:03 PM  
Whoa. Surgical insertion of some of the gear in the spine??
 
2003-11-27 05:45:13 PM  
Ok, well I guess that ends my relationship...

(jk)
 
2003-11-27 05:46:27 PM  
Headline author was smokin something funky
 
2003-11-27 05:48:33 PM  
Heh heh, All Right! Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy!
 
2003-11-27 05:48:41 PM  
See, now I'm pissed I sold my Buick Century.
 
2003-11-27 05:49:50 PM  
women take over world in 4..3..2...
 
2003-11-27 05:50:52 PM  
I told my fiancee she should get one. She gave me a look like, "You want me to put an electric-shock device in my spine?"

Obviously I couldn't back that one up. Especially since she knows I'd use my new stimulatory superpowers not for good, but for awesome.
 
2003-11-27 05:50:55 PM  
She's faking it.
 
2003-11-27 05:51:17 PM  
The device, nicknamed after the machine in sci-fi movie Barbarella,

Barbarella? Try Sleeper
 
2003-11-27 05:53:20 PM  
Women finally get their share of bughs!
 
2003-11-27 05:55:08 PM  
Try Barbarella.
 
2003-11-27 05:55:59 PM  
"Click!" by Milo Manara

Fiction becomes reality.
 
2003-11-27 06:00:12 PM  
Orgasmatron in Barbarella --- 1968

Ripped off by Woody ("heh, he said Woody) for Sleeper in 73 or so....
 
2003-11-27 06:01:36 PM  
[image from onlinecomics.biz too old to be available]


And to believe that in less than ten years after the release of this movie, she would have two Oscars.

 
2003-11-27 06:03:42 PM  
She had SEVEN orgasms in nine days including her first multiple orgasm.

This is an accomplishment? Mrs. Love gets irritable if she doesn't get SEVEN orgasms in three days.
 
2003-11-27 06:04:09 PM  
oh look, it's hanoi jane.
 
2003-11-27 06:05:38 PM  
OK, I stand corrected.

On the Orgasmatron, that is. Not my mad orgasm-producing skillz.
 
2003-11-27 06:07:55 PM  
the Orgasmorator is in my hand

Now You're A Man - Orgazmo
 
2003-11-27 06:08:38 PM  
What, he's smart enough to make a device that gives women orgasms on demand but the remote control has to be attached by a wire? Like you can't install an IR receiver in her butt or something.
 
2003-11-27 06:08:45 PM  
There have been studies in rats that demonstrated that a rat that gets the pleasure sensor in its brain electrically stimulated when it presses a button, will continue to press the button until it starves to death. It was originally postulated as a model for addiction of drugs, but I fear this may act in the same way.

We're in trouble as a species when we all have cum buttons.
 
2003-11-27 06:09:26 PM  
Well I for one won't be needing this invention. I don't need any help to "get there". Seven orgasms in 9 days? Shiat woman, I've had 5 in an hour and a half!

/not one to brag, obviously
 
2003-11-27 06:09:45 PM  
I'd find it kinda deflating.
All my hard work for nothing. All she wants me to do is "Push the Button NOW!"
Still, if she was hassling me while I'm watching the TV... One click of the remote, and I'm back to the football.
 
2003-11-27 06:11:45 PM  
I should add that I had the able assistance of my ex-bf, on that particular occasion. But three or four times in one day isn't unheard of, in my case.
 
2003-11-27 06:13:33 PM  
The married mum of two who tested the device was so thrilled that she didnt want to return it.

This may spell the beginning of the end of sex.
 
2003-11-27 06:13:41 PM  
I think most women will be stoked when they start selling the male version of the orgasmatron - then maybe women will get some sleep for a change.
 
2003-11-27 06:16:51 PM  
I think most women will be stoked when they start selling the male version of the orgasmatron

what are you talking about? we've had hands for as long as I can remember.
 
2003-11-27 06:18:16 PM  
StomachMonkey

bwahaha
 
2003-11-27 06:19:47 PM  

Have your orgasm NOW!!!


/Tengo nada ...

 
2003-11-27 06:19:50 PM  
I can see possibilities for this if it had a radio remote and variable settings. Just keep the woman on a low simmer through out the day, maybe turning it up to "EARTH SHATTERING ORGASM!" at interesting times, like while waiting in line or talking on the phone. Much amusement to be had there.
 
2003-11-27 06:22:22 PM  
Whoa there, FarkUall. See, being men, we're dumb enough to use one of those until we starve to death, a la your rats. And I don't know about anyone else, but I know I start to hurt after the third or fourth wad in a day.

Maybe I'm just a lesser man.
 
2003-11-27 06:22:43 PM  
ooh 7 orgasms in 9 days!1 don't strain yisself sally! And you don't even remember the magic position? wow!! now that beats any honeymoon i can imagine....
not
 
2003-11-27 06:22:56 PM  
We're in trouble as a species when we all have cum buttons. we already do FarkUall it's just that some people can't seem to find theirs.
 
2003-11-27 06:23:19 PM  
It's a sad day for men all over the planet, when there's a market for such a device: that the majority of men are incapable of giving their women orgasms and haven't given much thought as to how.
 
2003-11-27 06:25:56 PM  
Bagpuss

... actually, it's more likely that it was a single orgasm stretched over an hour and a half that happened to peak multiple times.
 
2003-11-27 06:30:01 PM  
... actually, it's more likely that it was a single orgasm stretched over an hour and a half that happened to peak multiple times.

A distinction without a difference.
 
2003-11-27 06:30:42 PM  
"My husband loved it. We tried different positions including one that we dont usually do.
We tried the regular normal position, and another position I can't remember which.


Well done. Sounds like they have a fascinating sex life.
 
2003-11-27 06:32:05 PM  
I could be wrong, but I think the 7 orgasms in 9 days was worth reporting, perhaps because this woman may not have been able to have ANY before the gizmo. I call that progress.

PS: Curious, I know where my CUM button is - and I'm gonna use it right after I hit your DIE button. (What a great way to celebrate!)
 
2003-11-27 06:37:53 PM  
This ruins the old standard:

"Why does it take a woman longer to orgasm than a man?"

WHO CARES?
 
2003-11-27 06:41:06 PM  
We tried different positions including one that we dont usually do.

"What, like the back of a Volkswagen?"
 
2003-11-27 06:44:26 PM  
Seven O's in 9 days?

Christ, my last girlfriend had 8 within the first 7 hours of our first date.
 
2003-11-27 06:52:54 PM  
My husband loved it. We tried different positions including one that we dont usually do."

UP THE POOP SHOOT!!!!
 
2003-11-27 06:52:59 PM  
A wirehead? for any who recognize the Louis Wu reference.
 
2003-11-27 06:55:27 PM  
Haha. Who gets control of that remote?
The story lines are worthy of a few dozen sitcoms.
 
2003-11-27 06:58:31 PM  
Next Week on Friends. Rachel gets an orgasmatron installed but is dismayed to discover that through some electronic glitch her cell phone ringing causes it to turn on... and to turn her on... Hilarity ensues.
 
2003-11-27 07:02:07 PM  
"My husband loved it. We tried different positions including one that we dont usually do."

I think she's talking about shoulder sex.
 
2003-11-27 07:15:57 PM  
I could be wrong, but I think the 7 orgasms in 9 days was worth reporting, perhaps because this woman may not have been able to have ANY before the gizmo. I call that progress.

That's not the way it read to me. It sounded as if The Sun thought "SEVEN in nine days" would be a good number for just about all their readers. I'd agree with you that this would be a Good Thing if "Stimulation Sally" had had few or no orgasms before the implant, but that's not what the article said.
 
2003-11-27 07:17:24 PM  
If it gets my wife in the mood... I'll overlook the wires.

/... money from swear jar will finally come in handy
 
2003-11-27 07:19:46 PM  
I can't believe I'm the first geek to think of this:
[image from startreksite.com too old to be available]

So that's what Seven Of Nine means!
 
2003-11-27 07:21:59 PM  
BrotherLove

... if only there was voting.

*golf clap*
 
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