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(Cracked)   Here are five reasons that humanity wants monsters to be real, because we can never have enough scary things in this world apparently   (cracked.com) divider line 46
    More: Silly, Ving Rhames, Appalachia, Radical Islam  
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12377 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2012 at 1:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-03 01:14:44 PM
As long as it stomps some foreign city, so I can be scared but entertained at the same time, that'll do.


/may I suggest Dallas?
 
2012-10-03 01:50:03 PM
No. They're scared of me.
 
2012-10-03 01:50:35 PM
Want to see some scary shiat?

Go deep water diving - that's God's basement where he puts those things not meant for mortal eyes.

/Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
 
2012-10-03 01:57:25 PM

Expolaris: Want to see some scary shiat?

Go deep water diving - that's God's basement where he puts those things not meant for mortal eyes.

/Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


Say that again.
 
2012-10-03 01:59:19 PM

Coelacanth: Say that again.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-03 02:03:46 PM
www.thebuffalobullet.com
 
2012-10-03 02:06:08 PM

Expolaris: Coelacanth: Say that again.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 627x478]



The proper translation is, "Dead, yet dreaming, Cthulhu waits in his palace in R'lyeh." Link
 
2012-10-03 02:08:59 PM
That's why the way to world peace is through foreign film.
 
2012-10-03 02:09:05 PM
"WTF?"

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-10-03 02:09:37 PM
i.crackedcdn.com

Don't worry, lady. We're making a video of this. Then, If you watch the video, your phone will ring. Five days later, your baby will come out of the TV and kill the person who watched the video. Pretty cool, huh?

No. Not sure what happens to the people who watch the video but don't have a phone. The blind can't watch the video but they may be affected by the background music and noise. I think you have to watch the whole tape start to finish. Okay. Mrs. Twenty Questions, you go in to the well too.
 
2012-10-03 02:11:31 PM

gopher321: As long as it stomps some foreign city, so I can be scared but entertained at the same time, that'll do.


/may I suggest Dallas?


Ironic, if you read the article.
 
2012-10-03 02:12:02 PM

Molavian: No. They're scared of me.


Are you The Doctor?
 
2012-10-03 02:15:13 PM
evilovenmitts.com 

6: Alien tentacled anal probing is better than human cock vaginal probing.
 
2012-10-03 02:15:25 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: Are you The Doctor?


Who?
 
2012-10-03 02:16:27 PM
Ok, serious time. This article made me feel great! Know why? Because I've overcome my lizard brain.
Apparently, that's a rarity, at least according to some guy on Cracked.
Or on crack.
Hard to tell the difference sometimes.
 
2012-10-03 02:16:33 PM
i.crackedcdn.com

And this is for pointing out my obviously gay stance (NTTATWWT) and the fact that I don't like to wear a steel pot over my luxurious golden locks even though we are obviously in a combat zone and a See You Next Tuesday Cap wouldn't be authorized wear. Oh and that my pistol is ridiculously small. I'll have you know that none of the guys, er, people that I have been with have ever complained. You can go to your death knowing that the slide on this pistol will take my thumb off as soon as I pull the trigger.
 
2012-10-03 02:25:50 PM

GungFu: [evilovenmitts.com image 400x553] 

6: Alien tentacled anal probing is better than human cock vaginal probing.


llamabutchers.mu.nu
 
2012-10-03 02:29:39 PM
It's not fear specifically that gets us high, David. It's simply a symptom of the overlying anxiety that comes with not being in control.

Humans are aggressive pattern-seekers. Our tendency toward pattern recognition and adherence brings us comfort because what we can anticipate, and therefore control, cannot hurt us. The good news is the natural world is pretty well-patterned so being an overly-aggressive pattern-seeker is an evolutionary advantage.

Human anxiety comes from trepidation about the future. We are built to anticipate future events and one of the strongest human fears is uncertainty about what happens next . When things change, it is a common tendency of man to resist these changes. We cannot anticipate the dangers the changes may bring us.

This explains the popularity of gambling: It taps into the underlying thrill of not being able to predict the outcome. Like horror movies and roller coasters, we enjoy indulging our fears on a superficial level.

Monsters, drugs, terrorism, murder, or any other calamity you can think of, are simply specific manifestations that threaten the human desire for control.
 
2012-10-03 02:30:21 PM
I always have a terrible headache for a couple of hours after getting angry at someone/something. No "high" at all. So I try to avoid it.
 
2012-10-03 02:40:53 PM
What? Snooki didn't really...awwww, man, what a burn...
 
2012-10-03 02:41:49 PM
My theory was always that "monsters" can be fought, while most of the things that actually kill us can't be. We all know you just need Beowulf to come along and kill Grendel and you're safe... but no one can stop aging.
 
2012-10-03 02:47:49 PM
Snooki played a flute with her vagina?
 
2012-10-03 02:56:40 PM

Ishkur: It's not fear specifically that gets us high, David. It's simply a symptom of the overlying anxiety that comes with not being in control.

Humans are aggressive pattern-seekers. Our tendency toward pattern recognition and adherence brings us comfort because what we can anticipate, and therefore control, cannot hurt us. The good news is the natural world is pretty well-patterned so being an overly-aggressive pattern-seeker is an evolutionary advantage.

Human anxiety comes from trepidation about the future. We are built to anticipate future events and one of the strongest human fears is uncertainty about what happens next . When things change, it is a common tendency of man to resist these changes. We cannot anticipate the dangers the changes may bring us.

This explains the popularity of gambling: It taps into the underlying thrill of not being able to predict the outcome. Like horror movies and roller coasters, we enjoy indulging our fears on a superficial level.

Monsters, drugs, terrorism, murder, or any other calamity you can think of, are simply specific manifestations that threaten the human desire for control.


I'm pretty sure the article was about Hate and not fear. These are two different emotions. From what I understand, if one turns into the other, you go to the dark side.
 
2012-10-03 02:58:35 PM

TheMysticS: Ok, serious time. This article made me feel great! Know why? Because I've overcome my lizard brain.
Apparently, that's a rarity, at least according to some guy on Cracked.
Or on crack.
Hard to tell the difference sometimes.


I dunno if I have, but I try to. I try quite hard not to hate.

And I'd say I'm good at it because I'm enlightened, but... .. eh. Holding a grudge seems like just so much goddamn *effort*.
 
2012-10-03 03:09:32 PM

Felgraf: TheMysticS: Ok, serious time. This article made me feel great! Know why? Because I've overcome my lizard brain.
Apparently, that's a rarity, at least according to some guy on Cracked.
Or on crack.
Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

I dunno if I have, but I try to. I try quite hard not to hate.

And I'd say I'm good at it because I'm enlightened, but... .. eh. Holding a grudge seems like just so much goddamn *effort*.


Nah, we're just on a higher rung on the evolutionary ladder.

And too lazy to carry a grudge.
 
2012-10-03 03:11:48 PM

Ishkur: It's not fear specifically that gets us high, David. It's simply a symptom of the overlying anxiety that comes with not being in control.

Humans are aggressive pattern-seekers. Our tendency toward pattern recognition and adherence brings us comfort because what we can anticipate, and therefore control, cannot hurt us. The good news is the natural world is pretty well-patterned so being an overly-aggressive pattern-seeker is an evolutionary advantage.

Human anxiety comes from trepidation about the future. We are built to anticipate future events and one of the strongest human fears is uncertainty about what happens next . When things change, it is a common tendency of man to resist these changes. We cannot anticipate the dangers the changes may bring us.

This explains the popularity of gambling: It taps into the underlying thrill of not being able to predict the outcome. Like horror movies and roller coasters, we enjoy indulging our fears on a superficial level.

Monsters, drugs, terrorism, murder, or any other calamity you can think of, are simply specific manifestations that threaten the human desire for control.


And this is why we made up God / Gods
 
2012-10-03 03:12:04 PM
This made me think of this article.
 
2012-10-03 03:23:30 PM
Read this article earlier today, thought it was most interesting due to the final snip about Hitler. None of "history's greatest monsters" ever thought they were at the time. They all fully believe that what they were doing was right and fully justified.
 
2012-10-03 03:35:16 PM
These are some fine answers, but my guess is that it's because none of the monsters we've found so far drop any good loot.
 
2012-10-03 03:46:58 PM
Here are five reasons that humanity wants monsters to be real, because we can never have enough scary things in this world apparently is a lengthy ad for David Wong's latest book ineptly disguised as a "thought-provoking" article.

FTFY

/the img1.fark.net tag is there for a reason
 
2012-10-03 03:48:51 PM
Upon reading the headline, did anybody else hope the monsters they were talking about was Godzilla, Dracula, King Kong and that like?

/Disappointed.
 
2012-10-03 03:52:07 PM

Thorazine: I'm pretty sure the article was about Hate and not fear.


In order to hate something, you must fear it first.
 
2012-10-03 03:57:07 PM

Harry Freakstorm: No. Not sure what happens to the people who watch the video but don't have a phone. The blind can't watch the video but they may be affected by the background music and noise. I think you have to watch the whole tape start to finish. Okay. Mrs. Twenty Questions, you go in to the well too.


Better yet, watch the video ON your phone. Then when Samara comes out of the screen, she'll be four inches high, and you can keep her as a pet in a glass of water.

/Not my joke
//Forget where I heard it
 
2012-10-03 04:18:21 PM
That should've had the Plug tag.
 
2012-10-03 04:23:51 PM
his plug worked ... getting the book
 
2012-10-03 04:49:33 PM
I would love to have a job where I'm just a specialist monster hunter. Sanctuary, Special Unit Poo 2 style.
 
2012-10-03 05:06:33 PM
uauf.org
 
2012-10-03 05:17:59 PM

GungFu: [evilovenmitts.com image 400x553] 

6: Alien tentacled anal probing is better than human cock vaginal probing.


Go on.....
 
2012-10-03 05:28:51 PM

Wade_Wilson: Harry Freakstorm: No. Not sure what happens to the people who watch the video but don't have a phone. The blind can't watch the video but they may be affected by the background music and noise. I think you have to watch the whole tape start to finish. Okay. Mrs. Twenty Questions, you go in to the well too.

Better yet, watch the video ON your phone. Then when Samara comes out of the screen, she'll be four inches high, and you can keep her as a pet in a glass of water.

/Not my joke
//Forget where I heard it


What happens if you watch it on a projector... projecting down a well.
 
2012-10-03 06:03:18 PM

gopher321: As long as it stomps some foreign city, so I can be scared but entertained at the same time, that'll do.


/may I suggest Dallas?


Only if we can have it stomp the area where I-35E crosses I-30. The whole area needs it's roads destroyed to make way for a straightforward crossing.
 
2012-10-03 06:26:01 PM
lh3.googleusercontent.com

What a monster may look like.
 
2012-10-03 07:01:45 PM
"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed." G.K. Chesterton
 
2012-10-03 07:41:20 PM

Ishkur: In order to hate something, you must fear it first.


LOL where did you get that bullshiat from?
 
2012-10-03 11:07:06 PM

GungFu: [evilovenmitts.com image 400x553] 

6: Alien tentacled anal probing is better than human cock vaginal probing.


media.giantbomb.comwww.beatrix.pro.br

"Wow... bet you're glad that thing didn't have tentacles, huh?"
 
2012-10-04 12:35:07 PM
I stopped reading when he went off into stupid land by equating all deaths as equal...
 
2012-10-04 01:47:46 PM

ciberido: GungFu: [evilovenmitts.com image 400x553] 

6: Alien tentacled anal probing is better than human cock vaginal probing.

[media.giantbomb.com image 256x144][www.beatrix.pro.br image 356x286]

"Wow... bet you're glad that thing didn't have tentacles, huh?"


The left pic will be stuck in my mimd for a long time, traumatizing.
 
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