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(How Stuff Works)   "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally." and other stupid legal warnings that prove we are a nation of total loonies. Legal Warning: slide show   (people.howstuffworks.com) divider line 33
    More: Stupid, instant noodles, warning sign  
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10289 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2012 at 12:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-03 12:53:19 PM  
4 votes:

Why Would I Read the Article: We have to have these warnings because Democrats are so litigious. "But your honor, how was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to stick a thermometer in your ass, and THEN in your mouth? Can somebody call John Edwards? I need a lawyer."


Oh FFS, go back to the Politics tab.
2012-10-03 10:38:17 AM  
3 votes:
worst slide show format ever?
2012-10-03 09:06:47 AM  
3 votes:
Wonko the Sane was right. I'd like out of the asylum now, please.
2012-10-03 03:24:37 PM  
2 votes:
If you haven't seen this before, get off my lawn!

moosevalley.solidwebhost.com
2012-10-03 01:39:59 PM  
2 votes:

moothemagiccow: nmemkha: I wonder which contains more bacteria: the rectum or the mouth?

I need to write to MythBusters.

Perfectly reasonable. Ask some stunt coordinators about science


Meh. Real hard science is pretty boring. People will watch how many bacterial cultures develop on agar plates swabbed with thermometers that have been suck up their rectums and in their mouths (hopefully no the same one). Scientific? Not really, but a lot closer than "Ancient Aliens". Entertaining? Yes, for a lot of people.
2012-10-03 12:36:17 PM  
2 votes:
We have to have these warnings because Democrats are so litigious. "But your honor, how was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to stick a thermometer in your ass, and THEN in your mouth? Can somebody call John Edwards? I need a lawyer."
2012-10-03 09:10:28 AM  
2 votes:
This goes in your mouth. This one goes in your ear. And this one goes in your butt. shiat. Hang on a second. This one... uh... This one... this one goes in your mouth.
2012-10-03 06:32:21 PM  
1 votes:
www.needstolaugh.com

Can we quarantine all McDonald's coffee lawsuit arguments to their own special thread/tab/website/universe, so it doesn't always shiat all over what could've been a fun thread about funny stupid warnings?
2012-10-03 03:38:10 PM  
1 votes:

DoBeDoBeDo: From what i recall, the MAJOR issue was that instead of stopping, cleaning up the coffee spill and wiping off. Her son gunned it straight to the hospital and she sat in the hot coffee the whole way there. A simple spill and wipe off is not going to burn you as bad as continued exposure to the hot liquid.


On February 27, 1992, Stella Liebeck, a 79-year-old woman from Albuquerque, New Mexico, ordered a 49-cent cup of coffee from the drive-through window of a local McDonald's restaurant located at 5001 Gibson Boulevard S.E. Liebeck was in the passenger's seat of her grandson's Ford Probe, and her grandson Chris parked the car so that Liebeck could add cream and sugar to her coffee. Liebeck placed the coffee cup between her knees and pulled the far side of the lid toward her to remove it. In the process, she spilled the entire cup of coffee on her lap. Liebeck was wearing cotton sweatpants; they absorbed the coffee and held it against her skin, scalding her thighs, buttocks, and groin. - wiki pedia

Note that the car was parked, not being driven, as some people think. Note also, she was a passenger, not the driver. The actual cause of the spill was her pinching the cup between her (bony) knees and pulling the far side of the lid toward her, causing the cup to pivot and dump its contents in her lap. If she had put the cup in a cup holder, or between her thighs (where increased contact surface would have cause more friction), or on the floor, or even held it in one hand, the spill would not have happened.

Although you are correct: She took a while (accounts vary from 30 seconds on up) to got out of the puddle she was sitting in and remove the sweatpants she was wearing, thus causing the hot liquid to remain in contact with her skin.

Neither her careless handling of a hot liquid, nor her slow response to the spill was McDonald's fault.
2012-10-03 03:21:47 PM  
1 votes:

Theaetetus: This text is now purple: thursdaypostal: Have you seen her thighs? No consumable liquid has any business being that hot.

Tea, perhaps humanity's oldest produced beverage, is correctly brewed and served at temperatures hotter than that.

But not consumed at temperatures that hot. So, "correctly brewed and placed to cool for a period of time before consumption" would be more accurate than "served".

That's fine - McDonald's primary argument was that most of their customers bought the coffee to bring to work and consume a half hour later... but then they should have warned people that their coffee wasn't fit for consumption yet.


From what i recall, the MAJOR issue was that instead of stopping, cleaning up the coffee spill and wiping off. Her son gunned it straight to the hospital and she sat in the hot coffee the whole way there. A simple spill and wipe off is not going to burn you as bad as continued exposure to the hot liquid.
2012-10-03 03:06:03 PM  
1 votes:

nmemkha: moothemagiccow: nmemkha: I wonder which contains more bacteria: the rectum or the mouth?

I need to write to MythBusters.

Perfectly reasonable. Ask some stunt coordinators about science

Meh. Real hard science is pretty boring. People will watch how many bacterial cultures develop on agar plates swabbed with thermometers that have been suck up their rectums and in their mouths (hopefully no the same one). Scientific? Not really, but a lot closer than "Ancient Aliens". Entertaining? Yes, for a lot of people.


Or, put another way:

imgs.xkcd.com
2012-10-03 01:48:25 PM  
1 votes:
Caution: cape does not enable user to fly.
Pud
2012-10-03 01:47:57 PM  
1 votes:

nmemkha: moothemagiccow: nmemkha: I wonder which contains more bacteria: the rectum or the mouth?

I need to write to MythBusters.

Perfectly reasonable. Ask some stunt coordinators about science

Meh. Real hard science is pretty boring. People will watch how many bacterial cultures develop on agar plates swabbed with thermometers that have been suck up their rectums and in their mouths (hopefully no the same one). Scientific? Not really, but a lot closer than "Ancient Aliens". Entertaining? Yes, for a lot of people.


And besides, scientists don't usually blow shiat up at the end of the experiment
2012-10-03 01:47:53 PM  
1 votes:
I was given a cheap $10 first aid kit a few years ago. It came with a small tube of antiseptic cream with the warning "Do not allow to come into contact with eyes, ears or brain"

If you are ever in the position to be able to apply antiseptic cream to someone's brain then you are going to need more than a $10 first aid kit.
2012-10-03 01:41:57 PM  
1 votes:

This text is now purple: thursdaypostal: Have you seen her thighs? No consumable liquid has any business being that hot.

Tea, perhaps humanity's oldest produced beverage, is correctly brewed and served at temperatures hotter than that.


But not consumed at temperatures that hot. So, "correctly brewed and placed to cool for a period of time before consumption" would be more accurate than "served".

That's fine - McDonald's primary argument was that most of their customers bought the coffee to bring to work and consume a half hour later... but then they should have warned people that their coffee wasn't fit for consumption yet.
2012-10-03 01:35:29 PM  
1 votes:

GranoblasticMan: Why Would I Read the Article: We have to have these warnings because Democrats are so litigious. "But your honor, how was I supposed to know that you're not supposed to stick a thermometer in your ass, and THEN in your mouth? Can somebody call John Edwards? I need a lawyer."

Oh FFS, go back to the Politics tab.


It is true that most lawyers are Democrats. It is not true that most Democrats are lawyers. Logic fail, Why Would I.
2012-10-03 01:22:03 PM  
1 votes:
My personal favorites are "may contain nuts" on a package of nuts, and "may cause drowsiness" on sleep aids. No shiat, if my Ambien didn't cause drowsiness, I'd be pretty pissed.
2012-10-03 01:19:54 PM  
1 votes:

TheHighlandHowler: The dishwasher one made me think. My newish dishwasher has a similar latch as those of old-timey refrigerators that used to kill kids, i.e. once you're in you can't get out. What's with that?


Well that's not okay. Things like car trunks, refrigerators and other things children are likely to climb in, shouldn't be death traps, especially considering that there are perfectly serviceable designs that aren't.

Manufacturers reminders to not let kids play in and around major appliances... I mean really so what. On the one hand you could say it's unneeded cover your kiester on the other people, as someone noted about not ironing clothes you're wearing, people unthinkingly do stupid stuff, so reminding them that it's a bad idea isn't out to lunch. One way to not be sued it to remind people not to misuse your products so less people get hurt and have cause to sue.

I'm sure in factories the sticker that says Warning Machine Starts Automatically has saved a few fingers.
2012-10-03 01:14:52 PM  
1 votes:
50% of the population has an IQ below 100.
2012-10-03 12:59:29 PM  
1 votes:
I wonder which contains more bacteria: the rectum or the mouth?

I need to write to MythBusters.
2012-10-03 12:54:52 PM  
1 votes:

Nick Nostril: Sybarite: So you never go ass to mouth?

Hell, they've got a school for it...

[imageshack.us image 500x377]


All I'll say about them is that they have guys in old military style uniforms instead of cheerleaders. That should tell you all you need to know.
2012-10-03 12:54:38 PM  
1 votes:

mamoru: Wonko the Sane was right. I'd like out of the asylum now, please.


Came for the Wonko The Sane reference. Leaving satisfied.
2012-10-03 12:39:17 PM  
1 votes:

goodgirl4badboy: I LOVE that one of the charitable donations suggestions is Planned Parenthood. I'm sure Romney, and other Fox viewers are giving them tons of dough.


Wat?
2012-10-03 12:35:19 PM  
1 votes:
This all started with the dumb old "COFFEE MAY BE HOT" woman, her sandy old crotch, and a stale yellow light, right?
2012-10-03 12:34:48 PM  
1 votes:
Paraphrased from a box of fish sticks:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees
Bake fish sticks for 20 minutes
Remove fish sticks from oven
CAUTION: FISH STICKS WILL BE HOT.
2012-10-03 12:32:15 PM  
1 votes:

TheHighlandHowler: The dishwasher one made me think. My newish dishwasher has a similar latch as those of old-timey refrigerators that used to kill kids, i.e. once you're in you can't get out. What's with that?


It happens.
2012-10-03 10:19:49 AM  
1 votes:
These stupid warnings exist only because of stupid people...and smart lawyers.

/// Here's Yer Sign!!!
Pud
2012-10-03 10:09:16 AM  
1 votes:
t1.gstatic.com
2012-10-03 09:44:39 AM  
1 votes:
The dishwasher one made me think. My newish dishwasher has a similar latch as those of old-timey refrigerators that used to kill kids, i.e. once you're in you can't get out. What's with that?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-10-03 09:39:21 AM  
1 votes:
My brick of cheese has milk in the ingredients list and a separate warning that it contains milk.

When I become chief and sole member of the Supreme Court, I will add a new jury instruction for use in tort and product liability cases:

"A reasonable person is not expected to read silly and stupid warnings, and may disregard the entire context in which such a warning appears."

Then I'll make a rule that the "I won't sue you if I crash" button on car navigation systems is not only legally meaningless as a contract or disclaimer, it is a distraction that is presumed to be the cause of any accident while it is being displayed or acknowledged.

I will spank those corporate lawyers so hard they won't remember which country club they belong to. And after the spanking... the oral sex.
2012-10-03 09:35:17 AM  
1 votes:
I bought a flashlight once that came with a warning that it would be useless in a shark attack. It might have been a bear attack, either way it never came up.
2012-10-03 09:03:38 AM  
1 votes:
You sometimes go ass to mouth.
2012-10-03 09:01:28 AM  
1 votes:
You never go ass to mouth.
 
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