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A rectum full of eels, a general busted for playing with his privates, and Insane Clown Posse called a magnet for gang activity: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/23 - 9/29 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-10-02 3:08:26 PM (13 comments) | Permalink

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3734 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Some good headlines this week, enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-09-23 to Sat 2012-09-29:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Patient declares "My rectum is full of eels"; prompts doctor's nipples to explode with delight    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Are the internet really making us dumber?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Suicide bomb that kills 2 and injures 45 in Nigeria blamed on Boko Haram. Frightened residents said to be a whiter shade of pale    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  But soft, what line through Nazi Panzer breaks? It is the east, and Stalin will be stunned. Goebbels' poetry, love letters, and fiction goes on sale    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  UK Treasury's Wheatley said to recommend regulation of Libor-Setters, legitimizing the breed    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Army Brigadier General sent back stateside after being accused of sexual misconduct. He should have known better than to play with his Privates    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Four out of 10 UK pupils fail new phonics test, according to the Worcestershire Institute    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Megan Stammers f-f-f-found in France    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Plane carrying trekkers crashes in Nepal, killing all 19 on board. Recovery team having difficulty because they were all wearing identical red shirts    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Arthur O. Sulzberger, New York Times publisher, dies. He is survived by his newspaper, but just barely    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Cowboys.com now links to gay dating website instead of the website for the Dallas Cowboys, which when you think about it, are not that different to begin with    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Braves clinch postseason slot on a walk-off two-run homer. NFL refs award two free throws and a penalty kick for icing    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Ed Hochuli kept the real referees ready by hosting weekly conference calls and giving them tests, which presumably included incline dumbbell curls    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Why men like boobs. Hey pal, the science is up HERE    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  $30 device lets you control your computer with your eyes, leaving your hands free. Hard to imagine there would be a use for that    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Urban coyotes mate for life. As opposed to urban cougars, who mate for lunch    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Angry spokesman says 89-year-old Stan Lee is just fine, dismissing recent news article about "very serious circumstance" regarding his health, insists Drs. Banner and Richards are furiously working around the clock    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Insane Clown Posse sues FBI after being called a magnet for gang activity    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "Some actress just delivered her third baby. 'Reese' something..." "Witherspoon?" "No, with her forceps"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "Dirty Jobs" star Mike Rowe officially endorses Mitt Romney, because if there's one candidate who understands the value of rolling up their sleeves and doing hard work, it's a guy who inherited all his money and owns ballerina horses    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Study finds that both female and male GOP politicians are seen as more feminine than their Democratic counterparts. Jan Brewer thrown out of data as outlier    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper presented with World Statesman award. In other news, the body of George Orwell has been exhumed and for some reason he was lying face down    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Discover Card refunds $200 million to card holders for deceptive marketing practices. The deception actually occurred when they told the customers there were businesses that would honor the card    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  U.S. airlines collect $1.7 billion in baggage fees in the first half of the year. Airlines promise to use the second half of the year to start looking for some of those bags    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


13 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2012-10-02 03:31:10 PM  
The headlines the past while have been awesome.
 
2012-10-02 03:32:17 PM  
Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.
 
2012-10-02 03:37:05 PM  
SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw
 
2012-10-02 03:40:59 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
db2
2012-10-02 03:49:32 PM  
I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.
 
2012-10-02 03:53:49 PM  

db2: I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Fark finds me such wonders.
 
2012-10-02 04:41:41 PM  

stevegarbowski: Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.


Link
 
2012-10-02 05:02:24 PM  

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw


Aw, shucks. Thanks.

/submitter
 
2012-10-02 05:09:50 PM  
'Rectum Full of Eels' remains, to this day, my favorite Spin Doctors song
 
2012-10-02 05:18:26 PM  
I can't believe I missed the Insane Clown Posse headline. I must be doing too much life.

FACT: Being a Juggalo is all about multicultural acceptance and Christ-like goodwill. Sure, it's presented as all "hyper-violent" and "Faygo splashy", but the love is there. Hasn't anyone of you haters even bother to read their compendium of mad rhymes?

God Bless the Insane Clown Posse and their Juggalo Soldiers.
 
2012-10-02 05:25:07 PM  

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw


Good to see you around, buddy
 
2012-10-02 05:49:08 PM  
s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com
 
2012-10-02 09:01:51 PM  

Tsar_Bomba1: [s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com image 480x360]


www.bbc.co.uk
 
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