FARK.com: Blog (Unfreakable): A rectum full of eels, a general busted for playing with his privates, and Insane Clown Posse called a magnet for gang activity: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/23

A rectum full of eels, a general busted for playing with his privates, and Insane Clown Posse called a magnet for gang activity: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/23 - 9/29
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-10-02 3:08:26 PM (13 comments) | Permalink

More: FarkBlog, Insane Clown Posse, Fark

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Some good headlines this week, enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-09-23 to Sat 2012-09-29:

Patient declares "My rectum is full of eels"; prompts doctor's nipples to explode with delight

Are the internet really making us dumber?

Suicide bomb that kills 2 and injures 45 in Nigeria blamed on Boko Haram. Frightened residents said to be a whiter shade of pale

But soft, what line through Nazi Panzer breaks? It is the east, and Stalin will be stunned. Goebbels' poetry, love letters, and fiction goes on sale

UK Treasury's Wheatley said to recommend regulation of Libor-Setters, legitimizing the breed

Army Brigadier General sent back stateside after being accused of sexual misconduct. He should have known better than to play with his Privates

Four out of 10 UK pupils fail new phonics test, according to the Worcestershire Institute

Megan Stammers f-f-f-found in France

Plane carrying trekkers crashes in Nepal, killing all 19 on board. Recovery team having difficulty because they were all wearing identical red shirts

Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday

Arthur O. Sulzberger, New York Times publisher, dies. He is survived by his newspaper, but just barely

Sports:

Cowboys.com now links to gay dating website instead of the website for the Dallas Cowboys, which when you think about it, are not that different to begin with

Braves clinch postseason slot on a walk-off two-run homer. NFL refs award two free throws and a penalty kick for icing

Ed Hochuli kept the real referees ready by hosting weekly conference calls and giving them tests, which presumably included incline dumbbell curls

Geek:

Why men like boobs. Hey pal, the science is up HERE

$30 device lets you control your computer with your eyes, leaving your hands free. Hard to imagine there would be a use for that

Urban coyotes mate for life. As opposed to urban cougars, who mate for lunch

Entertainment:

Angry spokesman says 89-year-old Stan Lee is just fine, dismissing recent news article about "very serious circumstance" regarding his health, insists Drs. Banner and Richards are furiously working around the clock

Insane Clown Posse sues FBI after being called a magnet for gang activity

"Some actress just delivered her third baby. 'Reese' something..." "Witherspoon?" "No, with her forceps"

Politics:

"Dirty Jobs" star Mike Rowe officially endorses Mitt Romney, because if there's one candidate who understands the value of rolling up their sleeves and doing hard work, it's a guy who inherited all his money and owns ballerina horses

Study finds that both female and male GOP politicians are seen as more feminine than their Democratic counterparts. Jan Brewer thrown out of data as outlier

Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper presented with World Statesman award. In other news, the body of George Orwell has been exhumed and for some reason he was lying face down

Business:

If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana

Discover Card refunds $200 million to card holders for deceptive marketing practices. The deception actually occurred when they told the customers there were businesses that would honor the card

U.S. airlines collect $1.7 billion in baggage fees in the first half of the year. Airlines promise to use the second half of the year to start looking for some of those bags

· · ·

(view entire blog)

13 Comments (+0 »)

Shazam999		2012-10-02 03:31:10 PM

The headlines the past while have been awesome.

stevegarbowski		2012-10-02 03:32:17 PM

Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.

Cosmic_Music		2012-10-02 03:37:05 PM

SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw

Mad_Radhu		2012-10-02 03:40:59 PM

db2		2012-10-02 03:49:32 PM

I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2012-10-02 03:53:49 PM

db2: I often confuse my rectum for a hovercraft.

2.bp.blogspot.com

Fark finds me such wonders.

PabloHosehead		2012-10-02 04:41:41 PM

stevegarbowski: Eel rectum? That one slid right past me. seriously.

Link

Trivia Jockey		2012-10-02 05:02:24 PM

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw

Aw, shucks. Thanks.

/submitter

HungryHungryHippo		2012-10-02 05:09:50 PM

'Rectum Full of Eels' remains, to this day, my favorite Spin Doctors song

MJMaloney187		2012-10-02 05:18:26 PM

I can't believe I missed the Insane Clown Posse headline. I must be doing too much life.

FACT: Being a Juggalo is all about multicultural acceptance and Christ-like goodwill. Sure, it's presented as all "hyper-violent" and "Faygo splashy", but the love is there. Hasn't anyone of you haters even bother to read their compendium of mad rhymes?

God Bless the Insane Clown Posse and their Juggalo Soldiers.

Unfreakable		2012-10-02 05:25:07 PM

Cosmic_Music: SCIENCE BOOBS!

/ftw

Good to see you around, buddy

Tsar_Bomba1		2012-10-02 05:49:08 PM

mcmnky		2012-10-02 09:01:51 PM

Tsar_Bomba1: [s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com image 480x360]

www.bbc.co.uk

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