If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   Write some headlines that would have been posted when Columbus found the Americas. You know. If Fark had been around back then   (fark.com) divider line 131
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

2946 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-02 12:57:26 PM  
62 votes:
North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.
2012-10-02 04:10:57 PM  
44 votes:
Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...
2012-10-02 02:45:07 PM  
35 votes:
Clobmus. Caught sayof fleet that has stoped saelling " See, told ya so" Is It China or not. Queen Says yes. England Looking for boats -OR- "hello, I am here Spanish and wait wat is this tobco"
2012-10-02 12:51:46 PM  
35 votes:
White Sox defeat Indians again.
2012-10-02 12:57:23 PM  
22 votes:
A SECOND SHIP HAS JUST HIT THE SOUTH PORT!
2012-10-02 04:07:43 PM  
18 votes:
Italian cruise ship captain runs into coastline, jumps off ship, makes amazing claims. Not a repeat from 500 years in the future.
2012-10-02 04:13:13 PM  
14 votes:
We've secretly replaced the East Indies with the West Indies. Let's see if anyone's noticed.
2012-10-02 04:07:50 PM  
14 votes:
[Spiffy] - Not News: Italian claims he'll find shortcut to new lands. News: By sailing WEST. Fark: Does.
2012-10-02 12:53:02 PM  
13 votes:
[HERO] The natives look cold. Good thing we brought plenty of blankets.
2012-10-02 04:15:53 PM  
12 votes:
Strange vessels spotted approaching the coast. I'm not sayin' they're aliens, but...they're aliens.
2012-10-02 04:10:00 PM  
12 votes:
Land found on other side of Atlantic Ocean, This is not a repeat from 1000
2012-10-02 12:53:30 PM  
11 votes:
Scientist discover 100's of uses for new flora and fauna found. Still no cure for scurvy.
2012-10-02 04:59:05 PM  
10 votes:
[FAIL] Columbus discovers India, credits Apple Maps
2012-10-02 04:22:10 PM  
10 votes:
Wrong era, but I've always wanted to use this one:

[Newsflash] Gold found in California territory. EVERYBODY PAN IT
2012-10-02 12:55:35 PM  
10 votes:
Idiot Italian discovers India...again!
2012-10-02 04:46:34 PM  
9 votes:
Fark Party on Roanoke Island. What could possibly go wrong?
2012-10-02 04:15:53 PM  
9 votes:
All your base are belong to Spain.
2012-10-02 04:20:46 PM  
8 votes:
"Whites now a minority in America. Thanks, Obama."
2012-10-02 04:48:28 PM  
7 votes:

Tony_Pepperoni: GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!

1942?


Teach the controversy.
2012-10-02 04:38:33 PM  
7 votes:
[ Weird ] Italian discovers continent of stinky, uneducated, intensely tribal natives that constantly fight over land. Then left Europe and found a whole new continent to the west.
2012-10-02 04:09:37 PM  
7 votes:
Invading countries, slaughtering and enslaving the inhabitants, and claiming the land for your king is no way to go through life, son.
2012-10-02 02:36:23 PM  
7 votes:
Italians can't get anything right; miss India by 3,000 leagues.
2012-10-02 12:51:09 PM  
7 votes:
"I thought we were going to China, WTF is this sh*t?"
2012-10-02 04:12:59 PM  
6 votes:
Not News: Dumb fark thinks the world is round.
News: Doesn't fall off the edge.
Fark: Finds land filled natives.
Ultra Fark: Naked Natives!
2012-10-02 04:07:57 PM  
6 votes:
Undocumented aliens show up on coast, want to be friends, ask where we hide all the gold. What could possibly go wrong?
2012-10-02 02:19:38 PM  
6 votes:
Columbus finds vast, new lands. Contains arable land, massive lakes, and somethings called "Kardashians."
2012-10-02 12:59:39 PM  
6 votes:
Columbus finds Americas, production stops on world's largest milk carton.
2012-10-02 05:09:17 PM  
5 votes:
Trip to discover passage to India ends in failure. Thanks, Fartnando.
2012-10-02 04:30:29 PM  
5 votes:
[Obvious] Spanish subjugate, eject Moors. Celebrate by funding trip to subjgate, eject natives in newly discovered lands
2012-10-02 04:16:27 PM  
5 votes:
"Columbus Discovers America. Apple Sues For Discovery Infringement"
2012-10-02 04:13:51 PM  
5 votes:
Western passage to India found, full of magical megafauna to extinctify. Your dog wants bison.
2012-10-02 04:09:57 PM  
5 votes:
Italian immigrant shows up without papers.
2012-10-02 04:07:49 PM  
5 votes:
"The earth, shesa flat!"
"The earth, shesa round!!!"
2012-10-02 05:50:56 PM  
4 votes:
img1.fark.net Columbus discovers America, Natives no longer left wondering where the fark they were
2012-10-02 05:45:47 PM  
4 votes:
Fast forward a few centuries...

[ASININE] Witches found in Salem. Your God wants stake.
2012-10-02 05:00:43 PM  
4 votes:

cards fan by association: [FAIL] Columbus discovers India, credits Apple Maps


hahaha...

CC: "Sari, where the hell are we?"
"recalculating..."
2012-10-02 04:29:44 PM  
4 votes:
Already Bindun, says Leif Ericson
2012-10-02 04:24:08 PM  
4 votes:
FARK PARTY Tuesday in the big lodge in Manitou, Kentucky. Drew will be there; join him for shots of pulque. Duke sucks.
2012-10-02 04:23:37 PM  
4 votes:
"Yo no soy marinero. Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan.  Soy capitan, soy capitan - Baila bamba, baila bamba"
2012-10-02 04:11:45 PM  
4 votes:
Discovery of New World gold mines means massive inflation for the Spanish economy. RONALDO PAULUS!
2012-10-02 04:08:53 PM  
4 votes:
Verily for the redskins, the excrement has hit the bellows!
2012-10-02 01:49:51 PM  
4 votes:
Made new friends from across the seas :)
Have the sniffles though :(
2012-10-02 12:52:21 PM  
4 votes:
Sick of smoking Opium? Check out TOBACCO!
2012-10-02 12:51:12 PM  
4 votes:
New AIDS-FREE continent discovered! Explorers encouraged to cum infest it ASAP.
2012-10-03 06:33:47 AM  
3 votes:
No one expects a Spanish immigration
2012-10-02 07:00:06 PM  
3 votes:
Columbus accused of smuggling STD's to the new world on the captain's dingy...
2012-10-02 06:58:00 PM  
3 votes:
Christians encounter animists, immediately rape and enslave them. Religion of PeaceTM strikes again!
2012-10-02 06:04:54 PM  
3 votes:
"Columbus encounters a brave new world just as his case of the clap turns into a standing ovation"
2012-10-02 05:52:36 PM  
3 votes:
Business Links

[FAIL] King of Portugal passes on risky shipping investment. Since this is FARK, you know what happens next.
2012-10-02 05:29:27 PM  
3 votes:

I Have The Touch of a Shocked Monkey: European ones


"How many diseases does one colonist bring to the New World?" "African or European?"
2012-10-02 05:28:46 PM  
3 votes:
i1125.photobucket.com


/Also, we have a flag.
2012-10-02 05:07:54 PM  
3 votes:
[Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition
2012-10-02 05:04:29 PM  
3 votes:
[HERO] This is going to change everything! (sponsored link)
2012-10-02 04:56:39 PM  
3 votes:
Ha! Ha! I'm exploring the New World!!1!
2012-10-02 04:47:06 PM  
3 votes:
Photoshop Theme: Columbus steps off.
2012-10-02 04:43:59 PM  
3 votes:
IMPERIO ESPAÑOL
unconfirmedbreakingnews.com
WE'RE GONNA FREE THE MIERDA OUT OF YOU
 
2012-10-02 04:43:44 PM  
3 votes:
CNN = Impoverished and downtrodded taken advantage of by Columbus and Crew

FoxNews = Columbus and crew discover new land with untold riches but are soon told they have to redistribute it to those unwilling to work

Huffington Post = Columbus intenionally infects minorities with untreatable diseases

MSNBC = Calico kittens are mans best friend
2012-10-02 04:41:57 PM  
3 votes:
[Dumbass] Only Columbus could manage to run aground half way to China.
2012-10-02 04:40:04 PM  
3 votes:
Guidos in my Carribean? it's more likely than you think
2012-10-02 04:32:36 PM  
3 votes:
Italian helicopter parents of Christopher Columbus are so proud of their son's discovery dego wop wop wop.
2012-10-02 04:30:53 PM  
3 votes:

Skywolf Philosopher: Amazing land never before cultivated by humans found. FARK: Weird, disgusting, primitive humans infest it in some places. At least our leaders say that they aren't really humans, so it's open season.


Ugly-ass baby civilization?
2012-10-02 04:26:58 PM  
3 votes:
TSG must have had to wait until yon fortnight to get some of these subjects: witches, hostile natives with facial tats, fat lips, sharpie eyebrows, sandman and possibly Jeebus
2012-10-02 04:15:42 PM  
3 votes:
Pocahontas intervenes to save life of colonist. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
2012-10-02 04:12:25 PM  
3 votes:
Columbus successfully lands in India. This is bad news... for King Ferdinand
2012-10-02 04:09:13 PM  
3 votes:
Something between us and China discovered. Still no cure for continent.
2012-10-02 04:04:19 PM  
3 votes:
Chris "Clueless" Columbus Finds India North America Caribbean Island!
2012-10-02 04:02:57 PM  
3 votes:
White invaders land, spread new diseases. EVERYBODY PANI
2012-10-02 02:40:43 PM  
3 votes:
[Followup] Early reports that Columbus discovered a new route to the East Indies may have been premature. Oops
2012-10-02 12:56:15 PM  
3 votes:
Columbus regresa después de que lo echaron
2012-10-02 08:33:31 PM  
2 votes:
News: Another group of white guys 'discovered us'. Fark: Asshats think they are in India.
2012-10-02 08:26:39 PM  
2 votes:
Balls caught in brig.  So very scared.
2012-10-02 07:15:25 PM  
2 votes:
If you picked October 12th, 1492 as the day we get off this ship, come forward to claim your prize.
2012-10-02 05:51:40 PM  
2 votes:
I don't know what a Beaver is, but a guy name Columbus just found a continent of them....
2012-10-02 05:49:06 PM  
2 votes:
I for one welcome our new metal-helmeted overlords.
2012-10-02 05:37:41 PM  
2 votes:
Fed up with the foreigners invading their territory, the Mayans invent a calendar that will make them all panic five hundred years from now.
2012-10-02 05:31:52 PM  
2 votes:
[FAIL] That new sea route to India? Yea well, about that
2012-10-02 05:08:36 PM  
2 votes:
(Daily Mail) [Sick] 20-yo hottie: I routinely sleep with a whole ship of seamen! And my husband just lies down and doesn't complain. W/ you'd hit it with face is a shovel pic.
2012-10-02 05:02:42 PM  
2 votes:
[ Florida ] Raving, probably drunk, lunatic crashes boat on our shore; gibberish and hand waving seem to indicate he thinks that makes it "his." No "Bahamas" tag so Florida stands in

/ nobody said they had to be -European- headlines
2012-10-02 04:44:18 PM  
2 votes:
People who look like Indians found in new land. They aren't Indians, but we'll call them Indians for hundreds of years anyways.
2012-10-02 04:39:15 PM  
2 votes:
I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque !
2012-10-02 04:35:00 PM  
2 votes:
What does a conquistador have to do to get a greenlight around here?
2012-10-02 04:28:23 PM  
2 votes:
"The Niña, the Puta, and the Rio Muy Sangre"
2012-10-02 04:25:45 PM  
2 votes:
The local labor is disagreeable and lack healthcare, maybe we should think about a universal healthcare system. Or, you know, import Africans to do the hard stuff.
2012-10-02 04:15:10 PM  
2 votes:
Finally - Red Sauce for Spaghetti!
2012-10-02 04:10:11 PM  
2 votes:
Illegal aliens hit east coast. Shoot border patrol injuns.
2012-10-02 04:09:58 PM  
2 votes:
[Breaking News] Waiting for a signal that Columbus has landed after 2 months and nine days of terror.

/and probably buttsex
2012-10-02 04:04:24 PM  
2 votes:

Science_Guy_3.14159: North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.


A good effort.

Pocket Ninja: Clobmus. Caught sayof fleet that has stoped saelling " See, told ya so" Is It China or not. Queen Says yes. England Looking for boats -OR- "hello, I am here Spanish and wait wat is this tobco"


But we have our winner!
2012-10-02 01:35:58 PM  
2 votes:
Amazing land never before cultivated by humans found. FARK: Weird, disgusting, primitive humans infest it in some places. At least our leaders say that they aren't really humans, so it's open season.
2012-10-02 12:53:37 PM  
2 votes:
Islamic World: "fark Spain, just take it."
2012-10-03 01:35:53 PM  
1 votes:
"All your maise are belong to us"

/late, like that goddamn Pinta.
2012-10-03 12:37:28 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus discovers scantily clad natives in new--you already clicked, didn't you?
2012-10-02 06:49:41 PM  
1 votes:
I can envision the natives proclaiming "Oh no, here come the boat people!"
2012-10-02 06:26:16 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus discovers North America, soon Duke will suck
2012-10-02 06:08:22 PM  
1 votes:
Italian finds resource to replenish dwindling bling supply - two-foot tall gold crosses for everybody!
2012-10-02 05:46:47 PM  
1 votes:
news: Columbus sails for india, doesn't fall off the world. fark: finds new lands. ultrafark: they're naked.
2012-10-02 05:43:26 PM  
1 votes:
[SCARY] Jesus Christ, it's a European!! Get in the teepee!
2012-10-02 05:35:52 PM  
1 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-10-02 05:35:09 PM  
1 votes:

cgraves67: Italian cruise ship captain runs into coastline, jumps off ship, makes amazing claims. Not a repeat from 500 years in the future.


Winner winner chicken dinner!
2012-10-02 05:33:07 PM  
1 votes:
Colombus lands in Guanahani. New France surrenders.
2012-10-02 05:23:41 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus Discovers America, Siphilis. Still no cure for black death.
2012-10-02 05:17:30 PM  
1 votes:

KingoftheCheese: [HERO] The natives look cold. Good thing we brought plenty of blankets.


European Goodwill Ambassadors to Distribute Blankets to the Needy.
2012-10-02 05:16:32 PM  
1 votes:
"Leif Ericson Pooped Here"
2012-10-02 05:14:04 PM  
1 votes:
Weird white men show up on shore. Offered food and women, but they only want to that useless yellow metal we put in our noses
2012-10-02 05:13:19 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus discovers land Vikings rejected.
2012-10-02 05:13:10 PM  
1 votes:

Leopold Stotch: mutterfark: [Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition

Well I wasn't expecting some sort of Spanish expedition.


s1.b3ta.com
2012-10-02 05:11:06 PM  
1 votes:
These people taste like chicken!
2012-10-02 05:10:09 PM  
1 votes:
Women in the Catawba tribe begin having white and delightsome babies after exposure to Mormon missionaries. Giggity.
2012-10-02 05:02:37 PM  
1 votes:
White gunsellers "lose" hundreds of guns sold to Indians. The repeats will be faster and furiouser in 500 years.
2012-10-02 04:58:07 PM  
1 votes:
Imported Africans automatically more valuable than Indians. This is not a repeat from now+500.
2012-10-02 04:55:51 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus returns from trans-Atlantic voyage. Has unnatural orange skin, spiked hair, and popped collar. May have gone native.
2012-10-02 04:54:57 PM  
1 votes:
[spiffy] ♫Selling them whiskey and taking their gold. Enslaving the young and destroying the old!♫
2012-10-02 04:52:31 PM  
1 votes:
cdn2.holytaco.com
2012-10-02 04:50:09 PM  
1 votes:
Captain . Caught sayof rock that has stoped Horsriding " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. Kemosabe Says yes. King Looking for spice -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"
2012-10-02 04:49:08 PM  
1 votes:
It's a trip!
2012-10-02 04:47:59 PM  
1 votes:
How is America formed? How girl get smallpox?
2012-10-02 04:45:33 PM  
1 votes:
[Fail] Columbia America, fark yeah!
2012-10-02 04:40:29 PM  
1 votes:
[Dumbass] Italian painter tries his hand at engineering, builds a flying machine. Hilarity ensues
2012-10-02 04:40:03 PM  
1 votes:
indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com
2012-10-02 04:38:19 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus runs into stumbling blocks on way to India.
wpcontent.answcdn.com
2012-10-02 04:38:14 PM  
1 votes:
The earth is not flat. Now here comes the science.
2012-10-02 04:36:24 PM  
1 votes:

serial_crusher: Ugly-ass baby civilization?


Ugly-ass baby civilization born at Caribbean Zoo, Portuguese keepers don't even bother taking care of it for 10ky, somehow magically survives. With head-scalpingly cute dawwww pics.
2012-10-02 04:33:06 PM  
1 votes:

Ponzholio: White Sox defeat Indians again.


Oh my god. Comedy gold.
2012-10-02 04:29:16 PM  
1 votes:

Ponzholio: White Sox Pox defeat Indians again.


FTFY
2012-10-02 04:26:56 PM  
1 votes:
Explorer mistakes tepee Indians for bindi. Hilarity ensues.
2012-10-02 04:25:25 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus thinks he finds India, finds new land instead. To mark the occasion, a holiday will be named in his honor that will have two different dates of observation.
2012-10-02 04:22:45 PM  
1 votes:
Greatest Empire in the world meets the Arawak barbarians. Libtards immediately declare them equal to Spaniards.
2012-10-02 04:17:03 PM  
1 votes:

ConConHead: Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...


I LOL'd!
2012-10-02 04:15:41 PM  
1 votes:

ConConHead: Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...


If I could vote.. twould be for you
2012-10-02 04:13:40 PM  
1 votes:
Natives are inferior beings, we will dominate the continent, all this land is ours for the taking: This is what colonists really believe.
2012-10-02 04:06:08 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus 'discovers' 'new' land, giving all Italians reason to be overly proud. For centuries.
2012-10-02 01:52:52 PM  
1 votes:
Amusing: Fark: a group of women talk out against men TotalFark: they claim that the indians deserve to own land and be treated as equals. Let's pack em to Salem, gents.
 
Displayed 131 of 131 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report