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(Fark)   Write some headlines that would have been posted when Columbus found the Americas. You know. If Fark had been around back then   (fark.com) divider line 82
    More: Amusing  
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2947 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-02 12:57:26 PM  
22 votes:
North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.
2012-10-02 04:10:00 PM  
12 votes:
Land found on other side of Atlantic Ocean, This is not a repeat from 1000
2012-10-02 12:51:46 PM  
12 votes:
White Sox defeat Indians again.
2012-10-02 04:07:50 PM  
10 votes:
[Spiffy] - Not News: Italian claims he'll find shortcut to new lands. News: By sailing WEST. Fark: Does.
2012-10-02 02:45:07 PM  
9 votes:
Clobmus. Caught sayof fleet that has stoped saelling " See, told ya so" Is It China or not. Queen Says yes. England Looking for boats -OR- "hello, I am here Spanish and wait wat is this tobco"
2012-10-02 12:56:15 PM  
6 votes:
Columbus regresa después de que lo echaron
2012-10-02 04:10:57 PM  
5 votes:
Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...
2012-10-02 04:07:43 PM  
5 votes:
Italian cruise ship captain runs into coastline, jumps off ship, makes amazing claims. Not a repeat from 500 years in the future.
2012-10-02 04:04:19 PM  
5 votes:
Chris "Clueless" Columbus Finds India North America Caribbean Island!
2012-10-02 04:16:27 PM  
4 votes:
"Columbus Discovers America. Apple Sues For Discovery Infringement"
2012-10-02 04:15:53 PM  
4 votes:
All your base are belong to Spain.
2012-10-02 12:59:39 PM  
4 votes:
Columbus finds Americas, production stops on world's largest milk carton.
2012-10-02 12:57:23 PM  
4 votes:
A SECOND SHIP HAS JUST HIT THE SOUTH PORT!
2012-10-02 12:53:02 PM  
4 votes:
[HERO] The natives look cold. Good thing we brought plenty of blankets.
2012-10-02 04:43:44 PM  
3 votes:
CNN = Impoverished and downtrodded taken advantage of by Columbus and Crew

FoxNews = Columbus and crew discover new land with untold riches but are soon told they have to redistribute it to those unwilling to work

Huffington Post = Columbus intenionally infects minorities with untreatable diseases

MSNBC = Calico kittens are mans best friend
2012-10-02 04:38:33 PM  
3 votes:
[ Weird ] Italian discovers continent of stinky, uneducated, intensely tribal natives that constantly fight over land. Then left Europe and found a whole new continent to the west.
2012-10-02 04:29:16 PM  
3 votes:

Ponzholio: White Sox Pox defeat Indians again.


FTFY
2012-10-02 04:13:51 PM  
3 votes:
Western passage to India found, full of magical megafauna to extinctify. Your dog wants bison.
2012-10-02 04:13:26 PM  
3 votes:

Pangit: New AIDS-FREE continent discovered! Explorers encouraged to cum infest it ASAP.


All continents were AIDS-free in the 1400's; AIDS didn't exist until the 20th century.
2012-10-02 04:13:13 PM  
3 votes:
We've secretly replaced the East Indies with the West Indies. Let's see if anyone's noticed.
2012-10-02 04:07:57 PM  
3 votes:
Undocumented aliens show up on coast, want to be friends, ask where we hide all the gold. What could possibly go wrong?
2012-10-02 04:59:05 PM  
2 votes:
[FAIL] Columbus discovers India, credits Apple Maps
2012-10-02 04:38:19 PM  
2 votes:
Columbus runs into stumbling blocks on way to India.
wpcontent.answcdn.com
2012-10-02 04:30:29 PM  
2 votes:
[Obvious] Spanish subjugate, eject Moors. Celebrate by funding trip to subjgate, eject natives in newly discovered lands
2012-10-02 04:22:10 PM  
2 votes:
Wrong era, but I've always wanted to use this one:

[Newsflash] Gold found in California territory. EVERYBODY PAN IT
2012-10-02 04:15:53 PM  
2 votes:
Strange vessels spotted approaching the coast. I'm not sayin' they're aliens, but...they're aliens.
2012-10-02 04:15:41 PM  
2 votes:

ConConHead: Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...


If I could vote.. twould be for you
2012-10-02 04:09:57 PM  
2 votes:
Italian immigrant shows up without papers.
2012-10-02 04:09:37 PM  
2 votes:
Invading countries, slaughtering and enslaving the inhabitants, and claiming the land for your king is no way to go through life, son.
2012-10-02 04:08:53 PM  
2 votes:
Verily for the redskins, the excrement has hit the bellows!
2012-10-02 02:40:43 PM  
2 votes:
[Followup] Early reports that Columbus discovered a new route to the East Indies may have been premature. Oops
2012-10-02 02:36:23 PM  
2 votes:
Italians can't get anything right; miss India by 3,000 leagues.
2012-10-02 01:52:52 PM  
2 votes:
Amusing: Fark: a group of women talk out against men TotalFark: they claim that the indians deserve to own land and be treated as equals. Let's pack em to Salem, gents.
2012-10-02 01:35:58 PM  
2 votes:
Amazing land never before cultivated by humans found. FARK: Weird, disgusting, primitive humans infest it in some places. At least our leaders say that they aren't really humans, so it's open season.
2012-10-02 12:51:09 PM  
2 votes:
"I thought we were going to China, WTF is this sh*t?"
2012-10-02 08:38:35 PM  
1 votes:
Earth is round. This is not a repeat from 240 B.C.
2012-10-02 06:58:00 PM  
1 votes:
Christians encounter animists, immediately rape and enslave them. Religion of PeaceTM strikes again!
2012-10-02 05:50:56 PM  
1 votes:
img1.fark.net Columbus discovers America, Natives no longer left wondering where the fark they were
2012-10-02 05:45:21 PM  
1 votes:
[Fail] Zheng He's ghost frowns upon your shenanigans, Chris.
2012-10-02 05:43:26 PM  
1 votes:
[SCARY] Jesus Christ, it's a European!! Get in the teepee!
2012-10-02 05:35:09 PM  
1 votes:

cgraves67: Italian cruise ship captain runs into coastline, jumps off ship, makes amazing claims. Not a repeat from 500 years in the future.


Winner winner chicken dinner!
2012-10-02 05:31:52 PM  
1 votes:
[FAIL] That new sea route to India? Yea well, about that
2012-10-02 05:29:27 PM  
1 votes:

I Have The Touch of a Shocked Monkey: European ones


"How many diseases does one colonist bring to the New World?" "African or European?"
2012-10-02 05:28:46 PM  
1 votes:
i1125.photobucket.com


/Also, we have a flag.
2012-10-02 05:25:43 PM  
1 votes:
"There are no black people, i think i have found heaven!!!"
2012-10-02 05:09:39 PM  
1 votes:

mutterfark: [Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition


Well I wasn't expecting some sort of Spanish expedition.
2012-10-02 05:09:17 PM  
1 votes:
Trip to discover passage to India ends in failure. Thanks, Fartnando.
2012-10-02 04:54:57 PM  
1 votes:
[spiffy] ♫Selling them whiskey and taking their gold. Enslaving the young and destroying the old!♫
2012-10-02 04:46:28 PM  
1 votes:

GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!


1942?
2012-10-02 04:45:33 PM  
1 votes:
[Fail] Columbia America, fark yeah!
2012-10-02 04:43:59 PM  
1 votes:
IMPERIO ESPAÑOL
unconfirmedbreakingnews.com
WE'RE GONNA FREE THE MIERDA OUT OF YOU
 
2012-10-02 04:40:03 PM  
1 votes:
indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com
2012-10-02 04:36:24 PM  
1 votes:

serial_crusher: Ugly-ass baby civilization?


Ugly-ass baby civilization born at Caribbean Zoo, Portuguese keepers don't even bother taking care of it for 10ky, somehow magically survives. With head-scalpingly cute dawwww pics.
2012-10-02 04:32:36 PM  
1 votes:
Italian helicopter parents of Christopher Columbus are so proud of their son's discovery dego wop wop wop.
2012-10-02 04:32:26 PM  
1 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: White invaders land, spread new diseases. EVERYBODY PANI

Note:They returned the favor with syphilis
2012-10-02 04:30:53 PM  
1 votes:

Skywolf Philosopher: Amazing land never before cultivated by humans found. FARK: Weird, disgusting, primitive humans infest it in some places. At least our leaders say that they aren't really humans, so it's open season.


Ugly-ass baby civilization?
2012-10-02 04:29:44 PM  
1 votes:
Already Bindun, says Leif Ericson
2012-10-02 04:29:26 PM  
1 votes:
Guy named Columbus steals idea from Jobs, "discovers" something new.
2012-10-02 04:28:23 PM  
1 votes:
"The Niña, the Puta, and the Rio Muy Sangre"
2012-10-02 04:26:56 PM  
1 votes:
Explorer mistakes tepee Indians for bindi. Hilarity ensues.
2012-10-02 04:25:45 PM  
1 votes:
The local labor is disagreeable and lack healthcare, maybe we should think about a universal healthcare system. Or, you know, import Africans to do the hard stuff.
2012-10-02 04:24:08 PM  
1 votes:
FARK PARTY Tuesday in the big lodge in Manitou, Kentucky. Drew will be there; join him for shots of pulque. Duke sucks.
2012-10-02 04:23:37 PM  
1 votes:
"Yo no soy marinero. Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan.  Soy capitan, soy capitan - Baila bamba, baila bamba"
2012-10-02 04:22:45 PM  
1 votes:
Greatest Empire in the world meets the Arawak barbarians. Libtards immediately declare them equal to Spaniards.
2012-10-02 04:17:03 PM  
1 votes:

ConConHead: Seamen spill out of Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, your mom...


I LOL'd!
2012-10-02 04:15:42 PM  
1 votes:
Pocahontas intervenes to save life of colonist. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
2012-10-02 04:14:32 PM  
1 votes:
European explorers find new land to the West, proves Earth is not flat. This is not a repeat from 1000.
2012-10-02 04:12:59 PM  
1 votes:
Not News: Dumb fark thinks the world is round.
News: Doesn't fall off the edge.
Fark: Finds land filled natives.
Ultra Fark: Naked Natives!
2012-10-02 04:11:45 PM  
1 votes:
Discovery of New World gold mines means massive inflation for the Spanish economy. RONALDO PAULUS!
2012-10-02 04:10:11 PM  
1 votes:
Illegal aliens hit east coast. Shoot border patrol injuns.
2012-10-02 04:09:17 PM  
1 votes:
In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!
2012-10-02 04:09:13 PM  
1 votes:
Something between us and China discovered. Still no cure for continent.
2012-10-02 04:07:49 PM  
1 votes:
"The earth, shesa flat!"
"The earth, shesa round!!!"
2012-10-02 04:06:08 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus 'discovers' 'new' land, giving all Italians reason to be overly proud. For centuries.
2012-10-02 04:04:24 PM  
1 votes:

Science_Guy_3.14159: North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.


A good effort.

Pocket Ninja: Clobmus. Caught sayof fleet that has stoped saelling " See, told ya so" Is It China or not. Queen Says yes. England Looking for boats -OR- "hello, I am here Spanish and wait wat is this tobco"


But we have our winner!
2012-10-02 04:02:57 PM  
1 votes:
White invaders land, spread new diseases. EVERYBODY PANI
2012-10-02 02:19:38 PM  
1 votes:
Columbus finds vast, new lands. Contains arable land, massive lakes, and somethings called "Kardashians."
2012-10-02 01:49:51 PM  
1 votes:
Made new friends from across the seas :)
Have the sniffles though :(
2012-10-02 12:54:09 PM  
1 votes:

KingoftheCheese: [HERO] The natives look cold. Good thing we brought plenty of blankets.


Hundreds of years later
2012-10-02 12:53:30 PM  
1 votes:
Scientist discover 100's of uses for new flora and fauna found. Still no cure for scurvy.
2012-10-02 12:52:21 PM  
1 votes:
Sick of smoking Opium? Check out TOBACCO!
2012-10-02 12:51:12 PM  
1 votes:
New AIDS-FREE continent discovered! Explorers encouraged to cum infest it ASAP.
 
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