If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   Write some headlines that would have been posted when Columbus found the Americas. You know. If Fark had been around back then   (fark.com) divider line 212
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

2938 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



212 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-02 04:44:18 PM
People who look like Indians found in new land. They aren't Indians, but we'll call them Indians for hundreds of years anyways.
 
2012-10-02 04:45:03 PM

Pocket Ninja: Clobmus. Caught sayof fleet that has stoped saelling " See, told ya so" Is It China or not. Queen Says yes. England Looking for boats -OR- "hello, I am here Spanish and wait wat is this tobco"


got to hand it to you Pocket Ninja... I read this and thought, "he's done better." then I read it again seconds later, and chuckled, and once more and laughed hard.

not sure how you do it.
 
2012-10-02 04:45:33 PM
[Fail] Columbia America, fark yeah!
 
2012-10-02 04:45:39 PM
Not news: Columbus, needing repairs and low on supplies, gets natives to help out through the use of persuasion News: said persuasion was having the native's gods get angry and block out the moon Fark: the "gods" were a farmer's almanac and calendar


/methinks I tried too hard
 
2012-10-02 04:45:42 PM
"You call it corn, we call it GTFO!"
 
2012-10-02 04:46:28 PM

GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!


1942?
 
2012-10-02 04:46:32 PM
{Asinine} Godless Liberal "explorer" seeking government grants claims to have found "new " world-but everybody knows God created all the world there will ever be 6,000 years ago
 
2012-10-02 04:46:34 PM
Fark Party on Roanoke Island. What could possibly go wrong?
 
2012-10-02 04:47:06 PM
Photoshop Theme: Columbus steps off.
 
2012-10-02 04:47:33 PM

HighOnCraic: Fark Party on Roanoke Island. What could possibly go wrong?


OK, I lol'ed...
 
2012-10-02 04:47:59 PM
How is America formed? How girl get smallpox?
 
2012-10-02 04:48:28 PM

Tony_Pepperoni: GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!

1942?


Teach the controversy.
 
2012-10-02 04:49:08 PM
It's a trip!
 
2012-10-02 04:50:09 PM
Captain . Caught sayof rock that has stoped Horsriding " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. Kemosabe Says yes. King Looking for spice -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"
 
2012-10-02 04:51:00 PM
Not news: ship captain overpromises wealthy patrons vast return on investment if they fund his expedition. News: Succeeds. Fark: By traveling west and, somehow, not falling off the edge of the world.
 
2012-10-02 04:52:27 PM

jshine: Pangit: New AIDS-FREE continent discovered! Explorers encouraged to cum infest it ASAP.

All continents were AIDS-free in the 1400's; AIDS didn't exist until the 20th century.


Your headline sucks
 
2012-10-02 04:52:31 PM
cdn2.holytaco.com
 
2012-10-02 04:53:13 PM

poe_zlaw: People who look like Indians found in new land. They aren't Indians, but we'll call them Indians for hundreds of years anyways.


Louie C. K. actually did a bit on this.
 
2012-10-02 04:53:27 PM
Europeans introduce natives to strange drink called "alcohol". Fark is born.
 
2012-10-02 04:53:29 PM
Now is the time to invest in disease prevention, slavery futures.
 
2012-10-02 04:54:10 PM
Italian man packs his ship with Genoa salami, discovers new passage
 
2012-10-02 04:54:57 PM
[spiffy] ♫Selling them whiskey and taking their gold. Enslaving the young and destroying the old!♫
 
2012-10-02 04:55:03 PM

Bonkthat_Again: Captain . Caught sayof rock that has stoped Horsriding " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. Kemosabe Says yes. King Looking for spice -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"


weknowmemes.com
 
2012-10-02 04:55:51 PM
Columbus returns from trans-Atlantic voyage. Has unnatural orange skin, spiked hair, and popped collar. May have gone native.
 
2012-10-02 04:56:39 PM
Ha! Ha! I'm exploring the New World!!1!
 
2012-10-02 04:57:16 PM

Pangit: Idiot Italian discovers India...again!


Furthermore, Amerigo Vespucci mapped it, then Lucky Luciano organized cocaine distribution. Coca from Columbia, the nation in South America that was named after...um, Hey! pizza suddenly sounds like great chow for tonight!

/abandons thread to make a Little Caesar's run

//closest place
 
2012-10-02 04:58:07 PM
Imported Africans automatically more valuable than Indians. This is not a repeat from now+500.
 
2012-10-02 04:59:02 PM
Conquistadors are all up in your base, killin' your doods!
 
2012-10-02 04:59:05 PM
[FAIL] Columbus discovers India, credits Apple Maps
 
2012-10-02 05:00:43 PM

cards fan by association: [FAIL] Columbus discovers India, credits Apple Maps


hahaha...

CC: "Sari, where the hell are we?"
"recalculating..."
 
2012-10-02 05:02:37 PM
White gunsellers "lose" hundreds of guns sold to Indians. The repeats will be faster and furiouser in 500 years.
 
2012-10-02 05:02:42 PM
[ Florida ] Raving, probably drunk, lunatic crashes boat on our shore; gibberish and hand waving seem to indicate he thinks that makes it "his." No "Bahamas" tag so Florida stands in

/ nobody said they had to be -European- headlines
 
2012-10-02 05:03:40 PM
Judge to squaw: If you hadn't been on that island, none of this would have happened.
 
2012-10-02 05:04:29 PM
[HERO] This is going to change everything! (sponsored link)
 
2012-10-02 05:05:14 PM

SoupJohnB: Pangit: Idiot Italian discovers India...again!

Furthermore, Amerigo Vespucci mapped it, then Lucky Luciano organized cocaine distribution. Coca from Columbia, the nation in South America that was named after...um, Hey! pizza suddenly sounds like great chow for tonight!

/abandons thread to make a Little Caesar's run

//closest place


And yes, I know that Luciano was "Sicilian." But that's like saying Marco Rubio is "Cuban."
 
2012-10-02 05:05:42 PM
Father of the Year candidate steals gold, burns house down, leaves unborn daughter in dirty Indian woman.
 
2012-10-02 05:06:09 PM
Columbus fails in his voyage to India, Ferdinand and Isabella to testify before congress over wasteful use of taxpayer funds.
 
2012-10-02 05:07:54 PM
[Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition
 
2012-10-02 05:08:08 PM
Columbus has shrunken balls. Earth is bigger around than he thought.
 
2012-10-02 05:08:36 PM
(Daily Mail) [Sick] 20-yo hottie: I routinely sleep with a whole ship of seamen! And my husband just lies down and doesn't complain. W/ you'd hit it with face is a shovel pic.
 
2012-10-02 05:09:17 PM
Trip to discover passage to India ends in failure. Thanks, Fartnando.
 
2012-10-02 05:09:39 PM

mutterfark: [Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition


Well I wasn't expecting some sort of Spanish expedition.
 
2012-10-02 05:10:09 PM
Women in the Catawba tribe begin having white and delightsome babies after exposure to Mormon missionaries. Giggity.
 
2012-10-02 05:11:06 PM
These people taste like chicken!
 
2012-10-02 05:12:21 PM
What the fark is a Blue Jacket?
 
2012-10-02 05:13:10 PM

Leopold Stotch: mutterfark: [Obvious] Fear and surprise greet the Spanish expedition

Well I wasn't expecting some sort of Spanish expedition.


s1.b3ta.com
 
2012-10-02 05:13:19 PM
Columbus discovers land Vikings rejected.
 
2012-10-02 05:14:04 PM
Weird white men show up on shore. Offered food and women, but they only want to that useless yellow metal we put in our noses
 
2012-10-02 05:16:32 PM
"Leif Ericson Pooped Here"
 
2012-10-02 05:17:09 PM

jshine: Pangit: New AIDS-FREE continent discovered! Explorers encouraged to cum infest it ASAP.

All continents were AIDS-free in the 1400's; AIDS didn't exist until the 20th century.


Which is actually kind of interesting, to think about how AIDS would have affected the world population in a pre-science era.
 
Displayed 50 of 212 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report