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(Fark)   Write some headlines that would have been posted when Columbus found the Americas. You know. If Fark had been around back then   (fark.com) divider line 212
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2944 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-02 10:57:47 PM

HighOnCraic: Italian immigrant shows up without papers.



I'm going to be banned for this:

[clears throat]

{not news} Injuns spot far off distant ship, squint thee eyes; {news} help FOB WOP onto free land, are only offered nubianrdly beads for it in return. {Fark} Redfaced. {TF} No, reservations are the way to go through life, Son.
 
2012-10-02 10:59:21 PM
***
Royal Commission Finds Crackpot Theories of Mysterious Con Artist Colomb Impracticable.

Four reasons given: World diameter 3x larger than Colomb thinks. World round, not pear-shaped. The other side of the Earth is known to be a gigantic tractless ocean. If there are any lands between Europe and Asia they must be inhabited by now.

***
Promise of Riches of the Indies Overides Common Sense. Queen Isabella Hocks the Jewels.

***

Discovery of America is Liberal Media Hoax, says Eminent Protestant Divine. Not Mentioned in Bible.
Obama Held Responsible for Black Death, Sour Milk, Climate Change

***
Prominent Economist Warns Gold and Silver of the Americas will Ruin Spanish Economy, cause Inflation on unprecendented scale. Bullion surplus may force fiat currency on world.
 
2012-10-02 11:06:35 PM
[Follow-up] Italians arrive way too late to save lost Viking explorers.......

[Ironic] ....... leave Roanoke settlement just in case Vikings return.
 
2012-10-02 11:08:50 PM

Tony_Pepperoni: GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!

1942?



The war had just begun.
 
2012-10-02 11:12:01 PM

Science_Guy_3.14159: North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.


Everyone can stop now. Winner found.
 
2012-10-03 06:33:47 AM
No one expects a Spanish immigration
 
2012-10-03 10:21:28 AM

Kangaroo_Ralph: poe_zlaw: People who look like Indians found in new land. They aren't Indians, but we'll call them Indians for hundreds of years anyways.

Louie C. K. actually did a bit on this.


Ahhh, you're Indians!
 
2012-10-03 12:12:46 PM
Spanish sailors find land, lose noses.
 
2012-10-03 12:37:28 PM
Columbus discovers scantily clad natives in new--you already clicked, didn't you?
 
2012-10-03 01:35:53 PM
"All your maise are belong to us"

/late, like that goddamn Pinta.
 
2012-10-03 05:27:37 PM
[Aztec] The secret ingredient to this sacred meal Posole is... People! Guess who eats this dish...
 
2012-10-03 07:29:55 PM
So many good tag lines! should have enabled voting!
 
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