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(The Raw Story)   Finally the truth is revealed: God put Romney behind in polls to prove it's a miracle when he wins. Unlikely tag gives a tip of the hat to one of the best spins yet   (rawstory.com) divider line 97
    More: Unlikely, god, miracles, truth, hats, God put  
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1364 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Oct 2012 at 10:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-02 08:37:00 AM  
No reason to vote for him then. Clearly God's got it under control.
 
2012-10-02 09:14:08 AM  
Yep. Keep up those prayers folks.
Let go and let God.
He's got it all under control.
 
2012-10-02 09:22:39 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-02 09:22:43 AM  
♪♫♪ Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. ♪♫♪
 
2012-10-02 09:41:39 AM  
If that's true does it mean that Mormon God is the real one?
 
2012-10-02 09:42:32 AM  
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-10-02 09:43:08 AM  
A miracle in the sense that the ballots for Romney get multiplied like the loaves of bread on the mount? Or, a miracle in the sense that the Lord gets more people to vote against their self-interest?
 
2012-10-02 09:44:22 AM  
I'm pretty sure that any sort of intervention in the election results qualifies as fraud.
 
2012-10-02 09:45:07 AM  

mrshowrules: A miracle in the sense that the ballots for Romney get multiplied like the loaves of bread on the mount? Or, a miracle in the sense that the Lord gets more people to vote against their self-interest?


Or in the sense that we elected someone who never squarely answered a question? That we replaced the democratic process with a coronation?
 
2012-10-02 10:16:35 AM  
i used to think einstein was a genius, but this guy beck really takes the cake..
 
2012-10-02 10:17:36 AM  
Would it be the god for the church of Dieboldology ?
 
2012-10-02 10:18:34 AM  
The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

"'But,' says Man, 'the Romney campaign winning at the last minute is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have happened by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'

"'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

/With all apologies to Douglas Adams.
 
2012-10-02 10:18:34 AM  
It all makes sense now. Except the God part. That's never made sense.
 
2012-10-02 10:18:40 AM  

proteus_b: i used to think einstein was a genius, but this guy beck really takes the cake..


Genius is a form of madness, as my mother would say.
 
2012-10-02 10:19:01 AM  
No no, the miracle is when Romney wins even though nobody voted for him. So stay home on election day if you believe in the power and grace of God.
 
2012-10-02 10:20:17 AM  
What the fark did I just read?
 
2012-10-02 10:20:20 AM  
So... God is supporting someone who doesn't support His religion and is a cultist to prove that the miracle of Him?
 
2012-10-02 10:21:06 AM  
What does God need with a DerpMitt?
 
2012-10-02 10:21:12 AM  
Further evidence that it is pointless trying to have a rational conversation based on facts with the unhinged, delusional nut jobs that currently hold sway in the Republican party...

Though, the gnashing of teeth, pulling of hair, and rendering of garments on Election Night, should Obama win reelection, is going to be highly entertaining.
 
2012-10-02 10:21:13 AM  
i.imgur.com

"It's a miracle!"
 
2012-10-02 10:21:58 AM  
So is Beck saying that humans don't have free will, or is God going to stuff the ballot box? Either way I don't understand how supernatural beings interfering in the election process wouldn't come off as disturbing.
 
2012-10-02 10:24:10 AM  
So does that mean when Obama wins that god doesn't exist?
 
2012-10-02 10:24:37 AM  
So by that logic if Romney loses can we accept that god has smiled on Obama's presidency? Or at that point does it switch to god not being badass enough to handle his affairs and it was the work of the Debil? These delusional people confuse me.
 
2012-10-02 10:24:50 AM  

FlashHarry:


I'm visiting relatives in the jesus-land part of 'Murica right now. I would so love to print bunches of those and place them strategically.

/baptist church every 50 feet in town
 
2012-10-02 10:25:05 AM  
Yes and if you don't vote Romney, Elohim will come down in his intergalactic space cruiser and smite your ass God warrior style.

Yeah, the farking Mormons are as crazy as any other cult like Scientology, but with the trappings of those other deluded fools, the Christians.
 
2012-10-02 10:25:42 AM  

rudemix: So by that logic if Romney loses can we accept that god has smiled on Obama's presidency? Or at that point does it switch to god not being badass enough to handle his affairs and it was the work of the Debil? These delusional people confuse me.


No, because Romney believes in that false god Elohim.
 
2012-10-02 10:26:30 AM  
So . . . God is Casey at the bat. Sounds about right in this context.
 
2012-10-02 10:29:12 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: rudemix: So by that logic if Romney loses can we accept that god has smiled on Obama's presidency? Or at that point does it switch to god not being badass enough to handle his affairs and it was the work of the Debil? These delusional people confuse me.

No, because Romney believes in that false god Elohim.


Someone on the Right needs to call on the power of the real, really-real god to make some kind of executive decision on which god gets to wrap this election up and take credit. I'm going to pull for C'thulu I guess.
 
2012-10-02 10:29:18 AM  

Codenamechaz: So does that mean when Obama wins that god doesn't exist?


Not it all. It just means that God still hates the gays and is punishing the US for letting them get married.
 
2012-10-02 10:30:03 AM  
God can't change the outcome, he's not registered to vote.
 
2012-10-02 10:30:23 AM  
What is it that. George Washington has to do with anything?
Obviously Glenn Beck doesn't know enough history, but to claim his ignorance about history is because there is no information seem, well, par for the course.
 
2012-10-02 10:30:54 AM  

Diogenes: ♪♫♪ Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. ♪♫♪


Plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off, you see!
He's hollow and I use him for a flask!
 
2012-10-02 10:32:07 AM  

Hack Patooey: i.imgur.com

"It's a miracle!"




THIS
encrypted-tbn0.google.com
 
2012-10-02 10:32:22 AM  

Hack Patooey: "It's a miracle!"


OK slightly OT, but who is this guy? He must be aware he is the skinnyhead meme.
 
2012-10-02 10:33:51 AM  
"Imaginary tip of the hat"
 
2012-10-02 10:34:16 AM  
Well that was my morning dose of stupid, brought in on a silver tray made of the worst mobile site ever. I'll retire to the restroom for my morning constitutional now.
 
2012-10-02 10:34:40 AM  
Does this mean that Nate Silver is God?
 
2012-10-02 10:34:50 AM  
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-10-02 10:34:51 AM  
Oh goddammit...

[Ellie Torres from Cougartown.jpg]
 
2012-10-02 10:35:14 AM  
Man. Should we be organizing efforts to get all the knives and prescription drugs out of the houses of any Derpservatives we know? (Not guns: Never suggest you want to take their guns). This is like "God told us the world was going to end next week" level.
 
2012-10-02 10:35:45 AM  

FlashHarry: [wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 600x776]


This would be my favorite thing.

I fully endorse it.
 
2012-10-02 10:36:21 AM  

Chthonic Echoes: So . . . God is Casey at the bat. Sounds about right in this context.


media.tumblr.com 
/I see what you did there.
 
2012-10-02 10:36:36 AM  
I for one will be quite amused when Jesus turns this victory into whine.
 
2012-10-02 10:37:04 AM  
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Sounds like a false idol to me.
 
2012-10-02 10:38:03 AM  

Fatbeard: Hack Patooey: "It's a miracle!"

OK slightly OT, but who is this guy? He must be aware he is the skinnyhead meme.


I swear I saw him driving home last night. I wondered what he would do if he saw me next to him at a stoplight taking a picture of him. If it wasn't raining I would have taken my chances.
 
2012-10-02 10:40:12 AM  
The former Fox News host went on to explain that Romney's hidden private life proved that he was "kind of on the line" with President George Washington.

So he's saying Romney is a life long slave holder?
 
2012-10-02 10:41:47 AM  

reklamfox: [i45.tinypic.com image 426x639]


Well then, I had no idea voting was so all-encompassing.
 
2012-10-02 10:42:31 AM  

Codenamechaz: So does that mean when Obama wins that god doesn't exist?


I think that means God hates Romney.
 
2012-10-02 10:42:56 AM  
Here are five reasons why Mitt Romney should not be worried at all.

www.politicspa.com 

/Just go through the motions, Mitt. We've got your back.
 
2012-10-02 10:43:25 AM  

keylock71:

Though, the gnashing of teeth, pulling of hair, and rendering of garments on Election Night, should Obama win reelection, is going to be highly entertaining.


On election night? You mean, for the rest of the week/month/year, at least?

I might even take off work the next day and just savor as much of the meltdown of REAL AMERICANTM society as I possibly can.
 
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