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(The Sun)   Justin Timberlake's grandmother comes to the defense of his tiny willy   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 68
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28736 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2003 at 5:30 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-11-26 10:58:20 PM
Okay. I tried to imagine my own Grandmother coming to the defense of my johnston.

dude. Mr Timberlake. The only avenue left open to you now is to kill yourself. There's absolutely nothing you can possibly do to redeem yourself from this.
 
2003-11-26 11:13:07 PM
Can there be anything more farking embarrassing then having your Grandma tell the whole world you have a very appropriately sized weener?


"What? You think I got a small weener? Well that's not what Nana says!!!!! She says I have the biggest tallywhacker she has ever seen!!!"
 
2003-11-26 11:32:00 PM
I think we know what this means:

Justin Timberlake's grandfather has the smallest penis in the history of mankind.
 
2003-11-26 11:41:38 PM
I wholeheartedly agree. Nothing left to do but jump off a bridge.
 
2003-11-26 11:48:26 PM
Bizarre.
 
2003-11-26 11:49:57 PM
nah. plenty of chicks will line up to do him because he's famous and/or to find out for themselves.
 
2003-11-27 12:00:02 AM
3 weeks ago there was a slew of granny pron links, predating this, behold the power of....
 
2003-11-27 12:18:36 AM
Grandma and penis should not EVER be used in the same sentence!
 
2003-11-27 12:21:02 AM
Well that made things better for him.
 
2003-11-27 02:34:27 AM
OK, so does anyone know what "Granny" did to make her an expert in ding dong dimensions?

"Granny, tell us again about the days when you went around with the tape measure and rubber gloves!"
 
2003-11-27 02:43:45 AM
And just to be fair...

Even a four foot long piece of pipe will rattle around in a boxcar.

I know, I know; that was uncalled for, but I just felt like saying it. I'm going to bed now...
 
2003-11-27 03:20:26 AM
Yeah, the classy thing to do would be to make a remark about britney spears' used-up cavernous vagina instead.
 
2003-11-27 04:24:53 AM
Daraymann
Can there be anything more farking embarrassing then having your Grandma tell the whole world you have a very appropriately sized weener?
"What? You think I got a small weener? Well that's not what Nana says!!!!! She says I have the biggest tallywhacker she has ever seen!!!"

Yes there is. Calling your grandma, "Nana" comes to mind.
 
2003-11-27 05:36:33 AM
At least Justin's mother didn't leap to his defence and say it fills her up just fine.
 
2003-11-27 05:37:29 AM
ooooh come oooooooooooooon! just let the story die, please?
 
2003-11-27 05:38:07 AM
I remember a quote from my teenage years....:
"I may not hit bottom, but i sure as hell will bang the fark out of the sides"
 
2003-11-27 05:39:00 AM
I remember a quote from my teenage years....:
"I may not hit bottom, but i sure as hell will bang the fark out of the sides"
 
2003-11-27 05:39:18 AM
It seems as if weiner measuring is a past-time of the Timberlake family?! Someone needs to muzzle ole' granny.
 
2003-11-27 05:43:11 AM
Since when did "just a little bitter" mean "he's got a teeny winky"?

I'm just a little bitter about my ex-husband, but I don't ever recall complaining about the honking size of his weiner or even using that phrase as a comparison.

Stupid brit reporters. No wonder the royals get so farked off at them.
 
2003-11-27 05:48:29 AM
Here's my opinion on the subject:

(That's me not giving a flying toss btw)
 
2003-11-27 05:49:21 AM
Can you imagine the conversation around the Timberlake family table this Thanksgiving? "Gee granny, thanks for coming to the defense of my tally-whacker. You really saved my reputation!" Farking moron.
 
2003-11-27 05:50:26 AM
Why is this lame guy in the news???
I mean maybe if he got to neck with Madonna...
Oh the hell with em all...
 
2003-11-27 05:50:52 AM
Oddly appropriate... the link on the same page selling "Humphrey The Humping Dog" to all the Justin Timberlake weenie fan club members.
 
2003-11-27 05:56:42 AM
I don't care how big his penis is, but does it suffer uncontrollable bleeding?

/new cliche?
 
2003-11-27 06:00:12 AM
ricardomontalban, you shiathead!

/Made me spit coffee all over my monitor!
 
2003-11-27 06:03:07 AM
Ah, the bitter ex gf. Is there anything they WON'T say to make their ex-bf look bad?
 
2003-11-27 06:08:50 AM
2003-11-27 04:24:53 AM doccm9

Daraymann
Can there be anything more farking embarrassing then having your Grandma tell the whole world you have a very appropriately sized weener?
"What? You think I got a small weener? Well that's not what Nana says!!!!! She says I have the biggest tallywhacker she has ever seen!!!"

Yes there is. Calling your grandma, "Nana" comes to mind.


Uh, no. Calling your grandma "Nana" may not be the norm, but I would rather call her Nana for the rest of my life than to have her comment to the press about the size of my dick... especially if the press will care and the world would find out.

For the record, I call my grandmother "gramma" and she does not know the size of my junk.
 
2003-11-27 06:11:16 AM
Will someone please just go on a shooting spree and rid us of these supposed celebrities already?
 
2003-11-27 06:22:36 AM
Ah, how would grandma know the size of his johnson? She's basing this on his toddler pencil dick years? Or was she regularly bathing him when he was a teenager and fully developed?
 
2003-11-27 06:35:25 AM
ricardomontalban

I think we know what this means:

Justin Timberlake's grandfather has the smallest penis in the history of mankind.


I guess what this comes down to is, who do you think has seen more cock, Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake's Gran? Got to be a close call.

/Last question I ever thought I'd hear myself ask
 
2003-11-27 06:49:31 AM

* Oh come on, both he and Britney are vile, but

dude. Mr Timberlake. The only avenue left open to you now is to kill yourself. There's absolutely nothing you can possibly do to redeem yourself from this.

* He's rich, cute, famous and talented. As gross as the whole manufactured celebrity thing is, I'd date him big or small if he were a nice person to me.
 
2003-11-27 06:50:05 AM
news just in - justin leaves cameron for his own grandma "the sex was better" he said to reporters. "especially oral".
 
2003-11-27 06:54:42 AM

* Oh come on, both he and Britney are vile, but

dude. Mr Timberlake. The only avenue left open to you now is to kill yourself. There's absolutely nothing you can possibly do to redeem yourself from this.

* He's rich, cute, famous and talented. As gross as the whole manufactured celebrity thing is, I'd date him big or small if he were a nice person to me.
 
2003-11-27 06:55:16 AM
* D'oh
 
2003-11-27 07:20:40 AM
All babies have huge dicks. Unless Justin's gran has more recent info...
 
2003-11-27 07:23:07 AM
"No, honestly....."



 
2003-11-27 07:24:18 AM
Thanksgiving at that household is going to be weird.
"Gramma, pass me the taters..."

"Your penis is not small!"
 
2003-11-27 08:56:23 AM
OMG i'd rather my ex-girlfriend tell the world I had a small willy than my grandmother tell the world I had a large one!
 
2003-11-27 09:12:47 AM
I'm with Lord Farkuaad, its gotta be farking embarassing for timberlake to have this happen, I wonder what his facial expression was when he heard that his grandma said that. Hmm, new photoshop perhaps?
 
2003-11-27 09:44:53 AM


Grandma Helen: Oh (Justin), let me take a look at you. Fred, he's gotten his johnson!
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass! Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and it's so PERKY!

[cut to:]
(Justin): I can't believe my grandmother told the whole world I've got a big schlong!!


/With apologies to John Hughes ...

 
2003-11-27 09:49:44 AM
Aaaaahhhhhh........ Molly Ringworm
 
2003-11-27 10:06:19 AM
Daraymann and weave, very funny posts.

Yeah, grandma coming to your defense is really sad. I don't see any of his ex-gf's, groupies, or even Cameron coming to his defense. Hmmm...
 
2003-11-27 10:07:55 AM
please kill me!!!!! bwahahahahhahhhahahaahhahahaahhahahahhahahhaahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahh ahahahahahahhaha
I would go live in a cave somewhere for the next 8-12 months
 
2003-11-27 10:19:18 AM
That story reminded me of that Adam Sandler "Do It For Your Mama" skit for some reason.
 
2003-11-27 10:23:39 AM
"These kids are spoiled today. Back when I was coming along, people were too poor to own penises. We'd use a stick from the yard as a penis and we were happy."
 
2003-11-27 10:33:59 AM
Yes, having Nana come to the defense of your weenie would be a tad embarrasing, but lets remember the facts of the case regarding Mr. Trousersnake:

1) He porked the hell out of Brittany Spears
2) He is currently porking the hell out of Cameron Diaz
3) As a Pop Idol (TM), he has prolly had more hot trim than all us Farkers put together

If you scratch the surface a wee bit, Brittany is one bad album release from going back to a Louisiana Trailer Park life. Complaining about your ex-boyfriends weiner is bad form and sour grapes.
 
2003-11-27 10:34:23 AM
Ok, it's official. Our civilization has finally gone completely down the old pooper.

Oh and by the way:
Happy thanksgiving, you magnificent bastards.
 
2003-11-27 10:42:38 AM
A man with a two-inch dick goes to a whorehouse, picks a girl, and drops his pants.

HO:"Who are you supposed to please with that?"
MAN:"ME! Biatch."
 
2003-11-27 11:13:01 AM
oh well, he screwed Britney so its all good.
 
2003-11-27 11:19:07 AM
Your grandma say's I'm better hung than timberlake.
 
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