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(Delaware County Daily Times)   Woman attempts to hide 36 vials of crack in her clown car   (delcotimes.com) divider line 39
    More: Dumbass, Wawa, clown car, Darby, Upper Darby, magisterial district, pairs  
•       •       •

5544 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 1:28 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-02 12:28:47 AM  
Philly pair facing drug raps after incident at Upper Darby Wawa

So that's what the kids are calling it these days?
 
2012-10-02 12:33:56 AM  
the female was walking like she had something concealed between her legs and Bellamy says, 'I've got crack in my vagina.'

And you thought she was just glad to see ya.
 
2012-10-02 01:06:41 AM  
Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....
 
2012-10-02 01:07:47 AM  

Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....


I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D
 
2012-10-02 01:11:55 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D




:)
 
2012-10-02 01:14:54 AM  

Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D



:)


Add in Arizona & Texas and they could have a tag team match. Wouldn't that be awesome?
 
2012-10-02 01:26:23 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D



:)

Add in Arizona & Texas and they could have a tag team match. Wouldn't that be awesome?


That would be magnificent.
 
2012-10-02 01:30:37 AM  

Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D



:)

Add in Arizona & Texas and they could have a tag team match. Wouldn't that be awesome?

That would be magnificent.


Heh! I thought you'd agree.
 
2012-10-02 01:35:33 AM  
So that's where crack babies come from
 
2012-10-02 01:35:37 AM  
She'd probably have gotten away with it if she didn't clink when she walked.
 
2012-10-02 01:35:37 AM  
For some reason, I was picturing 36 babies' bottoms.


/later, I saw the headline
 
2012-10-02 01:37:24 AM  

fusillade762: Philly pair facing drug raps after incident at Upper Darby Wawa

So that's what the kids are calling it these days?


I used to work radio news. There would have been no way I could have read this story on the air without cracking the fark up. Woman hides crack in hoo ha at Wawa. I'd be on the floor in tears.
 
2012-10-02 01:39:46 AM  
I can just see how that went down:

"Damn, it's the cops! Cooch that shiat baby, we got this."
 
2012-10-02 01:44:14 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-02 01:54:01 AM  
So she had crack in her crack?

Mathematically, would that be expressed as "two crack", "crack squared" or "crack raised to the crack power"?

Fark™ Mathematics always gets me confused in these types of problems.
 
2012-10-02 01:56:55 AM  
So...okay. As a guy, I have no concept of how storing stuff in the hoo ha feels. I mean, shoving stuff up my ass to smuggle it is pretty out of the question. It just doesn't work that way. So...ladies...this is awkward, and I mean no disrespect, but this is one of those 100 questions you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask: You can actually shove stuff up inside yourself and walk around and keep a straight face? How much will fit? It doesn't feel all weird when you sit or...can you still go to the bathroom? (Yes, the openings are different, but does having illicit stuff stuffed in there impede?) I don't even know where I'm going with these questions and I want one of our Farkettes to answer honestly because guys want to know these things. I think.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.
 
2012-10-02 01:59:10 AM  
fta Click to enlarge

/snork
 
2012-10-02 02:07:30 AM  
Trying to figure out how Dante and veronica fit this thread. Should be dante and becky from clerks two
 
2012-10-02 02:07:45 AM  

Spad31: So...okay. As a guy, I have no concept of how storing stuff in the hoo ha feels. I mean, shoving stuff up my ass to smuggle it is pretty out of the question. It just doesn't work that way. So...ladies...this is awkward, and I mean no disrespect, but this is one of those 100 questions you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask: You can actually shove stuff up inside yourself and walk around and keep a straight face? How much will fit? It doesn't feel all weird when you sit or...can you still go to the bathroom? (Yes, the openings are different, but does having illicit stuff stuffed in there impede?) I don't even know where I'm going with these questions and I want one of our Farkettes to answer honestly because guys want to know these things. I think.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.


Most women shove cotton up their hoo-ha once a month and you'd never know. Although, some women find even a small tampon to be too invasive. So, I guess the amount of crack vials one can store in their lady places depends on the lady.
 
2012-10-02 02:10:37 AM  

Notabunny: fta Click to enlarge

/snork


lulz

I missed that.
 
2012-10-02 02:12:07 AM  

Spad31: I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.


Hm.... well, the only thing I routinely carry in there is a menstrual cup, so I have no idea what the load limit is. Whether it's possible or comfortable to carry something around in there depends on how large/heavy the item is. It's my experience that you can't really feel anything once it's in -- the nerve endings are all around the entrance. But between gravity and the way the vagina tends to squeeze, items put up in there gradually work their way down, so unless what you've got inside is wider than the natural opening of the vagina, it will eventually fall out.

As for peeing -- yeah, it's a different hole. Not really an issue.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have answered all this.
 
2012-10-02 02:13:37 AM  
They noticed the female was walking like she had something concealed between her legs and Bellamy says, 'I've got crack in my vagina.'

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Should have gone with something less illegal, like "I've got squirrels in my pants".
 
2012-10-02 02:26:06 AM  

kisseswookies: Spad31: So...okay. As a guy, I have no concept of how storing stuff in the hoo ha feels. I mean, shoving stuff up my ass to smuggle it is pretty out of the question. It just doesn't work that way. So...ladies...this is awkward, and I mean no disrespect, but this is one of those 100 questions you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask: You can actually shove stuff up inside yourself and walk around and keep a straight face? How much will fit? It doesn't feel all weird when you sit or...can you still go to the bathroom? (Yes, the openings are different, but does having illicit stuff stuffed in there impede?) I don't even know where I'm going with these questions and I want one of our Farkettes to answer honestly because guys want to know these things. I think.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.

Most women shove cotton up their hoo-ha once a month and you'd never know. Although, some women find even a small tampon to be too invasive. So, I guess the amount of crack vials one can store in their lady places depends on the lady.


You know, after crack vial #17, I don't think 'lady' is an accurate description.
 
2012-10-02 02:38:38 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: kisseswookies: Spad31: So...okay. As a guy, I have no concept of how storing stuff in the hoo ha feels. I mean, shoving stuff up my ass to smuggle it is pretty out of the question. It just doesn't work that way. So...ladies...this is awkward, and I mean no disrespect, but this is one of those 100 questions you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask: You can actually shove stuff up inside yourself and walk around and keep a straight face? How much will fit? It doesn't feel all weird when you sit or...can you still go to the bathroom? (Yes, the openings are different, but does having illicit stuff stuffed in there impede?) I don't even know where I'm going with these questions and I want one of our Farkettes to answer honestly because guys want to know these things. I think.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.

Most women shove cotton up their hoo-ha once a month and you'd never know. Although, some women find even a small tampon to be too invasive. So, I guess the amount of crack vials one can store in their lady places depends on the lady.

You know, after crack vial #17, I don't think 'lady' is an accurate description.


I think after crack vial #1 'lady' is objective.
 
2012-10-02 02:50:30 AM  
This seems obvious...35.
 
2012-10-02 02:51:53 AM  

fusillade762: Philly pair facing drug raps after incident at Upper Darby Wawa

So that's what the kids are calling it these days?


Up Her Darby Wawa??
 
2012-10-02 02:52:10 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: So she had crack in her crack?

Mathematically, would that be expressed as "two crack", "crack squared" or "crack raised to the crack power"?

Fark™ Mathematics always gets me confused in these types of problems.


i.imgflip.com
 
2012-10-02 03:04:23 AM  
Some very good lessons learned here.

Ladies, don't shove 36 vials of crack in your hoo ha and expect to walk without looking like you're pinching a loaf. Also, drug dealers, you're already making good money don't be greedy or the buyer might go into the WaWa and call the police.
 
2012-10-02 03:22:59 AM  
"Clown car"? Is that cockney rhyming slang or something?

Matthew Keene:I used to work radio news. There would have been no way I could have read this story on the air without cracking the fark up. Woman hides crack in hoo ha at Wawa. I'd be on the floor in tears. 

I just was. +1.
 
2012-10-02 03:24:22 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D



:)

Add in

the Arizona legislature & Texas Board of Education and they could have a tag team match. Wouldn't that be awesome? FTFM Y E

/You know love you, Bathia, but southern Arizona is true blue.
 
2012-10-02 03:32:18 AM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Bathia_Mapes: Apos: Philly is apparently determined to wrest the derp crown from Florida today....

I wonder if the WWE would consider sponsoring the match? :-D



:)

Add in the Arizona legislature & Texas Board of Education and they could have a tag team match. Wouldn't that be awesome? FTFM Y E

/You know love you, Bathia, but southern Arizona is true blue.


Heh! Sorry. I threw in Arizona because of Sheriff Joe. No disrespect intended to the state as a whole. :-)
 
2012-10-02 03:40:59 AM  

hamfast gamgee: "Clown car"? Is that cockney rhyming slang or something?



Welcome to the internet. I will be your guide:

imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-02 03:47:18 AM  

According to Chitwood, the complainant, a Sicklerville, N.J., man, was not charged because there the drug transaction never occurred.


No, he wasn't charged because he reported crime. That's how crime should work. If you turn yourself in, much, MUCH LESS, or perhaps even no, punishment.

If we have to come and track you down? Full sentence, if death penalty no appeal.
 
2012-10-02 05:45:39 AM  

Chariset: Spad31: I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have asked all this.

Hm.... well, the only thing I routinely carry in there is a menstrual cup, so I have no idea what the load limit is. Whether it's possible or comfortable to carry something around in there depends on how large/heavy the item is. It's my experience that you can't really feel anything once it's in -- the nerve endings are all around the entrance. But between gravity and the way the vagina tends to squeeze, items put up in there gradually work their way down, so unless what you've got inside is wider than the natural opening of the vagina, it will eventually fall out.

As for peeing -- yeah, it's a different hole. Not really an issue.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have answered all this.


I'm very glad you did. Thanks! Have a great day!
 
2012-10-02 06:14:08 AM  
Anyone else read that headline as Philching pair?

Perhaps i shouldn't watch so much late night porn...
 
2012-10-02 09:51:54 AM  

fusillade762: Philly pair facing drug raps after incident at Upper Darby Wawa


hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com

/unimpwessed
 
2012-10-02 10:28:23 AM  
i1197.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-02 12:34:51 PM  
Came for Orly.gif, probably better off without it.

You know the one.
 
2012-10-02 01:24:55 PM  
Philly.com has writers who are much more snarky.

The teaser on the front page:
"Woman hides crack for her boo"

The final paragraph, where the writing really snarks:
"Bellamy and Gibson, both of Philadelphia, were charged with possession with the intent to deliver and related offenses. Although police did recover the drugs, they never recovered the gun. Chitwood declined to speculate on where it might be hiding."

Even Chitwood got in on it:
""It's true love in the 'hood," Chitwood said. "Thank God the lady didn't have a snake or a crocodile, or we'd really have been in trouble.""
 
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