FARK.com: (7358422) You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm

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		You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm (kcby.com)		33
		More: Sick, pig farming, cops

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12026 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 6:21 AM | Favorite | share:

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I_Am_Weasel		2012-10-01 09:25:14 PM

12 votes:

You raise sixteen pigs, what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet

puffy999		2012-10-01 08:57:25 PM

11 votes:

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

puffy999		2012-10-02 02:37:01 AM

6 votes:

Dufus: 700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?

Well, maybe indirectly.

BronyMedic		2012-10-02 01:53:54 AM

6 votes:

From the Farkin' Article: Frasier said investigators will also work to rule out if Garner was the victim of foul play.

I'm sorry, I'm no farmer, but wouldn't he technically be a victim of Porcine Play?

WMittensRomney		2012-10-02 06:28:17 AM

4 votes:

Four legs good, two legs better stay the fark out of the hog pen...

Dahnkster		2012-10-02 03:40:11 AM

4 votes:

jake_lex		2012-10-01 10:42:58 PM

4 votes:

/remember that he was the one who actually owned the pigs
//cocksucka

reported		2012-10-01 09:15:45 PM

4 votes:

All the investigators need to do is perform DNA testing and spectrographic analysis of the pig shiat and digitally enhance satellite imagery of the location from the time of the incident. With this evidence the case can be solved in less than an hour and the conclusion delivered with a witty punchline.

Dahnkster		2012-10-02 03:44:01 AM

3 votes:

Dahnkster		2012-10-02 03:32:53 AM

3 votes:

I_Am_Weasel:
You raise sixteen pigs, and what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet
'Faint feeder' don't you call me, cause you don't know,
I'll end up in your bacon at the grocery store.

Tennessee Ernie Pride

Dufus		2012-10-02 01:32:20 AM

2 votes:

700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?

Nofun		2012-10-01 10:06:55 PM

2 votes:

Yay, Snatch Thread!
www.smileforcamera.com

The fact that you've got "Replica" written on the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle .50" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.

brap		2012-10-01 10:03:23 PM

2 votes:

GAAAAAHH THAT'LL DO PIGS THAT'LL DO, SERIOUSLY A LOT LESS "DOING" WOULD BE PREFERABLE ABOUT NOW!

NewportBarGuy		2012-10-01 09:08:43 PM

2 votes:

"None for me. I'm sweet enough."

cretinbob		2012-10-01 09:06:07 PM

2 votes:

Seth'n'Spectrum		2012-10-02 09:04:10 PM

1 votes:

MythDragon: Just a tip for those who might be tempted to use a sidearm within melee range. (If you can touch someone with your gun, you are much too close.)

"Heavy is good. Heavy is reliable. If it doesn't shoot, you can hit him with it."

maxximillian		2012-10-02 10:01:07 AM

1 votes:

Embargo over?

RobSeace		2012-10-02 08:21:13 AM

1 votes:

jake_lex: [douglemoine.com image 483x267]

/remember that he was the one who actually owned the pigs
//cocksucka

I'll use this an excuse to link to my all-time favorite Deadwood scene...

bucket_pup		2012-10-02 08:05:14 AM

1 votes:

BronyMedic

On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.

It must be a divine guilty pleasure. Kinda like feeding a cow veal.

Remeber: The secret is in the sauce.

LordOfThePings		2012-10-02 07:51:17 AM

1 votes:

I, for one, welcome our new porcine overlords.

strapp3r		2012-10-02 07:40:12 AM

1 votes:

codger-fed hogs am deelicious!

DoctorCal		2012-10-02 07:16:31 AM

1 votes:

Ya like dags?

Public Savant		2012-10-02 07:13:30 AM

1 votes:

Mr. Right: I raise a few pigs. A couple of my older sows are around 700 lb. They are nice, gentle, pigs. But it's time to go do the chores. If I'm not back in an hour . . .

I call dibs on your dentures!

born_yesterday		2012-10-02 07:09:52 AM

1 votes:

What? Proper farked?

Mr. Right		2012-10-02 07:09:02 AM

1 votes:

Dufus: 700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?

My guess is that those would be his sows - the momma pigs. Hogs are generally slaughtered around 265 pounds.

I raise a few pigs. A couple of my older sows are around 700 lb. They are nice, gentle, pigs. But it's time to go do the chores. If I'm not back in an hour . . .

MikeSass		2012-10-02 06:52:12 AM

1 votes:

Is it wrong that I wish this is what would happen at the beginning of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy falls in the pig pen? Every time I see it, that is what I think. It would be a much shorter movie, but vastly more entertaining.

Public Savant		2012-10-02 06:51:45 AM

1 votes:

Pig1: "...wait a minute...he doesn't taste like strawberries at all! You said he'd taste like strawberries!"
Pig2: "No, I said his name means strawberries...are you de-*CRUNCH*. Now, why are you eating his glasses?"
Pig1: "His dentures landed outside the pen."
Pig2: "Oh...wow.."
Pig3: "I think he tastes like chicken."

gerbilpox		2012-10-02 06:28:27 AM

1 votes:

BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.

Like chicken.

Dahnkster		2012-10-02 04:46:41 AM

1 votes:

I read in news that Oregone farmer is eaten by own peegs.... In Soviet Branson, you eat peeg!

BronyMedic		2012-10-02 02:52:56 AM

1 votes:

puffy999: BronyMedic: From the Farkin' Article: Frasier said investigators will also work to rule out if Garner was the victim of foul play.

I'm sorry, I'm no farmer, but wouldn't he technically be a victim of Porcine Play?

It can get you in a lot of trouble, thinking, Errol, I shouldn't do so much of it.

True but sometimes that thinking can help you cut through all the fat and pork to get to the heart of the matter.

And in this case, the heart was in the pig's shiatter.

Somacandra		2012-10-01 10:29:17 PM

1 votes:

I told you hogs would eat ANYTHING.

Raging Whore Moans		2012-10-01 09:56:47 PM

1 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: You raise sixteen pigs, what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet

Remind me to come back here and "funny" you once this goes fully green

Apos		2012-10-01 09:14:01 PM

1 votes:

puffy999: [i.imgur.com image 454x356]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Annnnnd we're done here.

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