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(KCBY Coos Bay)   You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm   (kcby.com) divider line 126
    More: Sick, pig farming, cops  
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12037 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 6:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 08:57:25 PM  
i.imgur.com

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
 
2012-10-01 09:06:07 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 09:08:43 PM  
"None for me. I'm sweet enough."
 
2012-10-01 09:14:01 PM  

puffy999: [i.imgur.com image 454x356]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


Annnnnd we're done here.
 
2012-10-01 09:15:45 PM  
All the investigators need to do is perform DNA testing and spectrographic analysis of the pig shiat and digitally enhance satellite imagery of the location from the time of the incident. With this evidence the case can be solved in less than an hour and the conclusion delivered with a witty punchline.
 
2012-10-01 09:15:56 PM  

puffy999: and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you?


Well, someone saw that scene:

TFA: When he didn't return home, a family member went to look for him and found Garner's dentures near the hog enclosure.
 
2012-10-01 09:23:42 PM  
Also could have gone with, "CORDELL!!!"
 
2012-10-01 09:25:14 PM  
You raise sixteen pigs, what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet
 
2012-10-01 09:49:30 PM  
I'd post a pic of Mason Verger from "Hannibal" but I'm not sure it's 100% SFW.
 
2012-10-01 09:52:03 PM  
Organic, free rang bacon, anyone? 

/bet the price is right on them thar hawgs
 
2012-10-01 09:52:04 PM  
He was a Canadien prostitute?

/dnrtfa
 
2012-10-01 09:52:43 PM  
"e"
 
2012-10-01 09:56:47 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: You raise sixteen pigs, what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet


Remind me to come back here and "funny" you once this goes fully green
 
2012-10-01 10:03:23 PM  
GAAAAAHH THAT'LL DO PIGS THAT'LL DO, SERIOUSLY A LOT LESS "DOING" WOULD BE PREFERABLE ABOUT NOW!
 
2012-10-01 10:06:55 PM  
Yay, Snatch Thread!
www.smileforcamera.com

The fact that you've got "Replica" written on the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle .50" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.
 
2012-10-01 10:29:17 PM  
i.imgur.com

I told you hogs would eat ANYTHING.
 
2012-10-01 10:42:58 PM  
douglemoine.com

/remember that he was the one who actually owned the pigs
//cocksucka
 
2012-10-01 10:46:54 PM  
I wonder if he was just going to take a crap.
 
2012-10-01 11:40:14 PM  
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible coont... me.
 
2012-10-02 01:32:20 AM  
700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?
 
2012-10-02 01:53:54 AM  
From the Farkin' Article: Frasier said investigators will also work to rule out if Garner was the victim of foul play.

I'm sorry, I'm no farmer, but wouldn't he technically be a victim of Porcine Play?
 
2012-10-02 02:22:33 AM  
There was an old man who lived near me about 15 years ago. He had a lot of big dogs and a huge chain link fence around his place. He dropped dead one day, presumably of his preexisting heart condition. There wasn't much left of him when people realized he was missing.
 
2012-10-02 02:31:35 AM  

BronyMedic: From the Farkin' Article: Frasier said investigators will also work to rule out if Garner was the victim of foul play.

I'm sorry, I'm no farmer, but wouldn't he technically be a victim of Porcine Play?


It can get you in a lot of trouble, thinking, Errol, I shouldn't do so much of it.
 
2012-10-02 02:37:01 AM  

Dufus: 700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?


Well, maybe indirectly.
 
2012-10-02 02:52:56 AM  

puffy999: BronyMedic: From the Farkin' Article: Frasier said investigators will also work to rule out if Garner was the victim of foul play.

I'm sorry, I'm no farmer, but wouldn't he technically be a victim of Porcine Play?

It can get you in a lot of trouble, thinking, Errol, I shouldn't do so much of it.


True but sometimes that thinking can help you cut through all the fat and pork to get to the heart of the matter.

And in this case, the heart was in the pig's shiatter.
 
2012-10-02 03:32:53 AM  
I_Am_Weasel:
You raise sixteen pigs, and what do you get
Not a day older or digested just yet

'Faint feeder' don't you call me, cause you don't know,
I'll end up in your bacon at the grocery store.

Tennessee Ernie Pride
 
2012-10-02 03:40:11 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-02 03:44:01 AM  
gadgetgrid.gadgetgridllc.netdna-cdn.comi.ytimg.com
 
2012-10-02 04:08:05 AM  
On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.

It must be a divine guilty pleasure. Kinda like feeding a cow veal.
 
2012-10-02 04:46:41 AM  
www.ginandtacos.com

I read in news that Oregone farmer is eaten by own peegs.... In Soviet Branson, you eat peeg!
 
2012-10-02 06:25:53 AM  

BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like..


FTFM
 
2012-10-02 06:28:17 AM  
Four legs good, two legs better stay the fark out of the hog pen...
 
2012-10-02 06:28:27 AM  

BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.


Like chicken.
 
2012-10-02 06:30:10 AM  

BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.

It must be a divine guilty pleasure. Kinda like feeding a cow veal.


You know what it reminds me of? Tasty Wheat.

Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
 
2012-10-02 06:30:38 AM  

Jesus Burnt My Hotdog: BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like..

FTFM


Apparently, those who eat humans describe it as "long pig," so I guess it's probably pretty close to pigs.

/wouldn't know
//vegetarian
 
2012-10-02 06:30:53 AM  

reported: All the investigators need to do is perform DNA testing and spectrographic analysis of the pig shiat and digitally enhance satellite imagery of the location from the time of the incident. With this evidence the case can be solved in less than an hour and the conclusion delivered with a witty punchline.


Scan the bones in and then just digitally remove all the post-mortem abrasions caused by the teeth. Whatever is left must have been what done him in.
 
2012-10-02 06:34:55 AM  
I'm now taking pork off my diet from now on.
 
2012-10-02 06:36:56 AM  

gerbilpox: BronyMedic: On another note, I wonder what human-fed Porkchops and Sausage tastes like.

Like chicken pork..

 
2012-10-02 06:45:00 AM  
Old MacDonald had a farm,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that farm he got et by hogs,
Ee i ee i oh!
 
2012-10-02 06:45:00 AM  
So was that guy proper farked?
 
2012-10-02 06:48:27 AM  
Let the cats go without kibble for a couple of days and see what happens.
 
2012-10-02 06:49:27 AM  
Pigs eatin negros. Racist. Try harder racists! Otherwise It's all good.
 
2012-10-02 06:51:45 AM  
Pig1: "...wait a minute...he doesn't taste like strawberries at all! You said he'd taste like strawberries!"
Pig2: "No, I said his name means strawberries...are you de-*CRUNCH*. Now, why are you eating his glasses?"
Pig1: "His dentures landed outside the pen."
Pig2: "Oh...wow.."
Pig3: "I think he tastes like chicken."
 
2012-10-02 06:52:12 AM  
Is it wrong that I wish this is what would happen at the beginning of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy falls in the pig pen? Every time I see it, that is what I think. It would be a much shorter movie, but vastly more entertaining.
 
2012-10-02 07:09:02 AM  

Dufus: 700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, human growth hormones?


My guess is that those would be his sows - the momma pigs. Hogs are generally slaughtered around 265 pounds.

I raise a few pigs. A couple of my older sows are around 700 lb. They are nice, gentle, pigs. But it's time to go do the chores. If I'm not back in an hour . . .
 
2012-10-02 07:09:04 AM  
You lot are missing the part where you have ta starve the piggies for a few days, o' course.
 
2012-10-02 07:09:09 AM  
 
2012-10-02 07:09:52 AM  
What? Proper farked?
 
2012-10-02 07:11:30 AM  

Dufus: 700 pound hogs? That's awful big for hogs.Pretty much maximum weight in fact. What was he feeding those swine, humans growth .hormones?


Fixed
 
2012-10-02 07:11:36 AM  
I was watching the PBS documentary Death and the Civil War a couple of weeks ago. It was mostly about how the dead were treated. Or untreated. Most of the the bodies of the dead were just left where they fell. And in areas where people were starving to death, they wouldn't touch the feral hogs because they had been gobbling down the bodies of the dead.
 
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