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(Daily Mail)   Men with shaved heads are more manly, dominant, says new study conducted by the Howie Mandel School of Wishful Thinking   ( ) divider line 56
    More: Obvious, first-degree murders  
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5902 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 2:48 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
2012-10-01 02:23:04 PM  
7 votes:
It's a well known fact that when a woman sees a bald man from the back, she immediately associates his gleaming, bare scalp with the head of penis. If the man turns around at precisely the right moment after the association, the woman's psyche, without her even being aware of it, takes that association a step further and assumes a natural virility and sexual prowess on the part of the male in question. Sex is pretty much a guarantee at that point, which is bald men with any self-awareness always stand where they can use their natural surroundings (mirrors, windows, etc.) to see what's going on behind them. You don't want to turn around at the wrong moment, after all (and sometimes it's best to let some of the women just slip on by).
2012-10-01 03:02:49 PM  
6 votes:
2012-10-01 06:20:24 PM  
3 votes:

Kanemano: With [ image 850x637]
[ image 604x452]

Which one would you like to meet in a dark alley?

That's a trick question, isn't it?
2012-10-01 04:31:55 PM  
3 votes:

Slartibartfaster: Can you pick a balding man that has actually HAD authority ?

Pick a culture, pick 3 leaders that had authority, count how many are bald.

In Russia they alternate:











Nicholas II 

Alexander III
2012-10-01 03:04:26 PM  
3 votes:
You shave your head, you have to stop smiling. It's a rule.
2012-10-01 03:01:16 PM  
3 votes:
Yes, and guy who ride motorcycles are all bad asses who can, and will, kick your ass for looking at them funny.

Guys who own AR-15s are just as tough as Navy Seals.

The male ego is easily stroked.
2012-10-01 02:57:32 PM  
3 votes:
You won't catch me shaving off the source of all my power.
2012-10-01 02:42:46 PM  
3 votes:
it definitely works for bryan cranstan.

he goes from spineless father:

to badass druglord:
2012-10-01 07:19:39 PM  
2 votes:
Might take you against your will.....

Might ask you out on a date and show up with flowers....
2012-10-01 07:13:01 PM  
2 votes:

Leonardo DiCaprio original portrait before he boarded the Titanic.
2012-10-01 05:23:14 PM  
2 votes:
This is your space station commander:

This is your space station commander on 100% BADASS:

Any questions?
2012-10-01 03:21:25 PM  
2 votes:
I shaved my head for 10 years and - to a certain extent - I will vouch for TFH (didn't bother to RTFA).

Not only was I finding plenty of sexual gratification during my Days of Baldness, but I discovered that people automatically gave me a wide berth when walking on the sidewalk (I like to think this was because I presented a boldly intimidating front and not, instead, because I reeked), and people were much more quick to notice and to listen to me when I wanted/needed it.

Today, the reverse of all those things is true. I am a sad, lonesome man who lacks confidence, appears weak, and blends with the crowd. But I am planning to go out dressed as Mr. Heisenberg for Halloween, so maybe the baldness will bring back the chicks, the respect, and the attention I crave!

And eggrolls is right - smiling is certainly rarer under the bald pate.
2012-10-01 03:09:55 PM  
2 votes:
2012-10-01 03:05:36 PM  
2 votes:

jshine: SlothB77: to badass druglord:

What a real drug lord might look like:

[ image 313x479] 

/just realized that Pablo Escobar looks like IS Ron Jeremy


/also Mario
2012-10-01 02:58:52 PM  
2 votes:

SlothB77: to badass druglord:

What a real drug lord might look like: 

/just realized that Pablo Escobar looks like Ron Jeremy
2012-10-01 02:52:08 PM  
2 votes:

2012-10-01 02:47:08 PM  
2 votes:

SlothB77: it definitely works for bryan cranstan.

he goes from spineless father:

[ image 215x330]

to badass druglord:

[ image 668x418]

Technically, he went from creepy dentist to spineless father to badass druglord.
2012-10-01 02:01:39 PM  
2 votes:
Would explain why I am always confused for a top.
2012-10-02 12:30:07 AM  
1 vote:

GoldSpider: SuperDuper28: Most white guys that shave their head are trying to cover up thinning hair. Been in that boat before I said fark it and let it be au natural.
We run out of options faster.

/shamelessly stolen from other thread
2012-10-01 09:39:27 PM  
1 vote:

ADHD Librarian: then I decide it is too much and end up like this...

2012-10-01 09:37:59 PM  
1 vote:
So, this is a thread where we post various photos of ourselves with differing hairstyles and then???
(step three profit)

lets see, I often look like this...

but sometimes I go all cave man and look like this...

then I decide it is too much and end up like this...

but at the moment I look like this (because I had my hair cut; by an electrician, in a rugby club dressing shed, while under the influence of VICTORY!)...

/oh wait, no photos of me bald?
//that is because I have hair. Suck it baldycoots!!
///Long beautiful hair, Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen. Give me down to there hair, Shoulder length or longer, Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair. Flow it, show it, Long as God can grow it my hair.
2012-10-01 09:12:42 PM  
1 vote:

CapeFearCadaver: Dammit! Only one out of four

Your're a guy, aren't you?
2012-10-01 09:03:12 PM  
1 vote:
2012-10-01 08:22:41 PM  
1 vote:

Slartibartfaster: Baldness is a genetic fault.

I agree. And thus I present the pinnacle of evolution:

/Evolution seems to be trending to less hair not more
//We are the future, not you :-)
2012-10-01 06:25:33 PM  
1 vote:

It really is a good look.
2012-10-01 05:48:34 PM  
1 vote:

kcfarker: Celebrity Shaved Head FTW:
2012-10-01 04:42:25 PM  
1 vote:

Dude, looks like the locks were working for you.
But. . .
who knows?

This is the picture that made me decide to shave my head for 5 years:

Saw that big spot and was like "NOPE!" Just grew it out again. I'm at the same level of balding, with much more grey.
2012-10-01 04:40:38 PM  
1 vote:
Shaved my head to be a hari krishna (for Halloween) some years ago--- was asked many times if I was a white supremacist. Maybe I should get some color in my tattoos.
2012-10-01 04:32:47 PM  
1 vote:
If you buy into this chit in the first place, you are no real man.
Or is the word actual?

/que duck for word of the day
//real men can afford not to give two chits
///hair is a very poor contender to wallet
2012-10-01 04:20:58 PM  
1 vote:
"Who loves ya, baby?"
/never mind you're too young
2012-10-01 04:02:49 PM  
1 vote:
My friend has been going bald since we were 12. He looks better shaving it. I have to admit I'd love it if he grew it WAY long and went for the village elder look.
2012-10-01 03:55:26 PM  
1 vote:

CapeFearCadaver: Meh, genes. There's about five or six of them that I know and each one started going bald late 20's to early 30's. I think it sucked worse for them because they were all metal musicians and the long hair to begin with. Plenty of other guys around here still have their flowing locks.

Well, crap, it's really that easy? OK, gals--don't name your baby boys Gene.

And Gene, Gene, the dancing machine? Totally bald by the time he was 18. Sad.
2012-10-01 03:53:56 PM  
1 vote:
I am a baldo and I approve of this message
2012-10-01 03:38:14 PM  
1 vote:

cheezitmojo: Another option, if going bald, is to grow out a rockin' pony. Works like a charm.

This does make the ladies wet. Toss is a mustache and you're nigh unstoppable.
2012-10-01 03:36:55 PM  
1 vote:

If you have a quality, be proud of it. Let it define you, whatever it is.
2012-10-01 03:32:44 PM  
1 vote:
Another option, if going bald, is to grow out a rockin' pony. Works like a charm.
2012-10-01 03:25:05 PM  
1 vote:
2012-10-01 03:16:00 PM  
1 vote:
2012-10-01 03:15:29 PM  
1 vote:

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect
2012-10-01 03:07:45 PM  
1 vote:
Believe me, women prefer long, thin hair.
2012-10-01 03:05:12 PM  
1 vote:
2012-10-01 02:59:02 PM  
1 vote:

2012-10-01 02:58:25 PM  
1 vote:
The glare temporarily blinds their opponents, giving them the upper-hand.
2012-10-01 02:58:23 PM  
1 vote:
I refuse to shave my head to hide my baldness. I'm not a slave to fashion. I keep it short and let the baldness show.
2012-10-01 02:57:49 PM  
1 vote:
As a long haired man CEO of companies on multiple continents, I'm getiing a kick ...

//bisexual but in a long term monogamous relationship for almost two decades
/ bald head men are genetically inferior
2012-10-01 02:55:27 PM  
1 vote:

You guys mean to tell me this isn't manly or dominant?
2012-10-01 02:54:51 PM  
1 vote:
2012-10-01 02:51:55 PM  
1 vote:
All of my guy friends who shave their heads did so strickly because of premature baldness.
2012-10-01 02:50:58 PM  
1 vote:
There's no excuse for walking around looking like a freshly circumcised dick.
2012-10-01 02:46:08 PM  
1 vote: 

2012-10-01 02:37:50 PM  
1 vote:
Eh, you have to be ripped or black to pull off the shaved head. If I did it, I'd look like a cancer patient.
2012-10-01 02:34:22 PM  
1 vote:

Concurs with Howie
2012-10-01 02:18:23 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah - whatever, slap-heads.
2012-10-01 02:07:55 PM  
1 vote:

ecmoRandomNumbers: Lollipop165: I have a bit of a fetish for bald men.

But there's a difference between shaved bald (Michael Jordan) and thinning.

Same here. Men who shave their head seem more confident.

Confident? Whatever. I don't care if it supposedly makes them look more confident, or what-not. I just care it makes them look hot.

/your bald head, let me rub it. No, not that one! Well, maybe that one too.
2012-10-01 01:59:39 PM  
1 vote:

Lollipop165: I have a bit of a fetish for bald men.

But there's a difference between shaved bald (Michael Jordan) and thinning.

Same here. Men who shave their head seem more confident.
2012-10-01 01:52:52 PM  
1 vote:
Howie Mandel should just Go West.
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