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(NPR)   A look at how, over the past three generations, parents have evolved from telling their children to "be home before the lights come on" to "DO NOT WANDER MORE THAN AN ARM'S REACH FROM ME OR YOU'LL GET TAKEN"   (npr.org) divider line 346
    More: Asinine, wander, The San Diego Union  
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20839 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 5:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 10:32:18 PM
Shiat, sorry.

Just like my old man used to say "Go play on the freeway."
 
2012-10-01 10:41:20 PM

Krieghund: vernonFL: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 275x183]

Children are more likely to be kidnapped or abused by family or people they know than by strangers.

Not my children.


If you say so, then *especially* your children.
 
2012-10-01 10:46:07 PM
img196.imageshack.us

Ah yes, ze good olde days...
 
2012-10-01 10:48:19 PM
I guess since it's "onion on the belt story time", in the late 70s my mom would drop me off for the summer at my grandparents farm on the Chesapeake Bay (near Oxford MD). I had a dirt bike, a BB gun, and a row boat. I was allowed to ride anywhere on the farm (although I avoided the cow pasture), built model tanks and battleships that I destroyed with the BB gun, and could row across the little cove to the beach on the far side. I think the worst thing that happened was some sunburn. those were the days.
 
2012-10-01 11:01:21 PM

Leopold Stotch: I guess since it's "onion on the belt story time", in the late 70s my mom would drop me off for the summer at my grandparents farm on the Chesapeake Bay (near Oxford MD). I had a dirt bike, a BB gun, and a row boat. I was allowed to ride anywhere on the farm (although I avoided the cow pasture), built model tanks and battleships that I destroyed with the BB gun, and could row across the little cove to the beach on the far side. I think the worst thing that happened was some sunburn. those were the days.


Agreed.
 
2012-10-01 11:03:56 PM

Indubitably: Leopold Stotch: I guess since it's "onion on the belt story time", in the late 70s my mom would drop me off for the summer at my grandparents farm on the Chesapeake Bay (near Oxford MD). I had a dirt bike, a BB gun, and a row boat. I was allowed to ride anywhere on the farm (although I avoided the cow pasture), built model tanks and battleships that I destroyed with the BB gun, and could row across the little cove to the beach on the far side. I think the worst thing that happened was some sunburn. those were the days.

Agreed.


I was a poor kid living in the swamps of Florida, BB gun akimbo, army men buried in a shell driveway too long, laden with snake carcasses and innocence...

Money matters, wut?
 
2012-10-01 11:07:38 PM
This honestly made me cry. I want my tree fort back. I want my summers playing in the woods back. Climbing down a 65 ft cliff by my house using jump ropes (because what else would you use them for). I was told to stay away from the busy street and creepy neighbors. I miss my childhood. I miss walking pain free for miles. Swimming in the lake making friends with schools of fish. I miss the fun and adventure. When I grow up, I want to have my childhood back.
 
2012-10-01 11:10:04 PM

Coastalgrl: This honestly made me cry. I want my tree fort back. I want my summers playing in the woods back. Climbing down a 65 ft cliff by my house using jump ropes (because what else would you use them for). I was told to stay away from the busy street and creepy neighbors. I miss my childhood. I miss walking pain free for miles. Swimming in the lake making friends with schools of fish. I miss the fun and adventure. When I grow up, I want to have my childhood back.


Me too, darlin', me too.

*sigh*

While my child is gone, sort of, I still play, and damn you if you'd take that away...

Play.
 
2012-10-01 11:13:25 PM

Galileo's Daughter: Growing up in Florida, Adam Walsh's disappearance and subsequent murder had a big influence on my mom going from "just be home in time for dinner" to "where are you going, why are you going there and who are you going with?" I'm surprised she didn't implant a chip in my neck.


That reminds me.

You know who's not here right now?

Jimmy Rice.
 
2012-10-01 11:23:28 PM
I would have no problem letting my kids play by themselves at the park once that hit a responsible age, like around 7. The only thing I worry about now is some busy body idiot calling CPS on me. In fact, I was on one of those parenting message boards not to long ago and one mom said that leaving a 7 year old in the park alone was the same as child abuse.
 
2012-10-01 11:35:43 PM

Rik01: I was a Free Range Kid. I've watched, with increasing concern, the steady decline of my type over the decades.


You are my favorite old man yelling at clouds, and I think I've read and nodded along with every one of your rants over the years. Keep on keepin' on.

/+1
 
2012-10-01 11:39:42 PM
I live in a rural village. Couple years ago a 17 yo grabbed a little girl out of the arena, raped her and tried to kill her. He's been convicted as an adult and declared a dangerous offender which means he's never getting out.

I still see lots of kids
 
2012-10-01 11:52:36 PM

Gulper Eel: 30 minutes music practice every single day. Why the fark did my daughter have to pick the clarinet? Have you ever heard a kid just learning to play the clarinet? HONK HONK HONK as they're learning their embouchure or whatever the fark it is. It's like living with a goose with Asperger's. I hope my son picks something nice and sedate to play like a drum set or maybe the gong.


You poor person, I picked up clarinet back in middle school, and a couple of years later, my sister took up the saxophone. Looking back, I'm pretty sure that this is why my parents kept a fully-stocked liquor cabinet. :P

/clarinet is quite easy to learn
//getting it to sound good takes years
 
2012-10-01 11:57:22 PM
I grew up in a nice quiet suburb in one of the biggest cities in the country. Parents were very over protective but let me walk and bike and rollerblade around everywhere for the most part. They got worried if I was gone long after I said I'd be home, and this was before pagers and cell phones and all that. But otherwise I was never on a leash. I guess it is a more recent thing imo because parents sit around and watch too much entertainment news that loves to talk about murders, kidnappings, etc.
 
2012-10-02 12:08:05 AM
FTA: Maybe media horror stories are more horrible these days. Or more accurate.

The adjective they were looking for is 'omnipresent.'
 
2012-10-02 12:12:07 AM
The key is that we were together... Kids swarmed with the efficiency of locusts.

I remember playing with kids I didn't even like that much. Even the mexican girl down the street and the mildly retarded boy. It was something about the 'neighborhood' kids ... We kind of mediated our own emotional world. Even someone you didn't like wasn't to be expelled - you were to learn to play together nicely. Sometimes that meant the kid who was a bully got traitors on his 'team' who would switch sides...

We'd never let one of our own get taken, and no molester in his right mind would approach a gang of kids. We might not like each other but we'd fight off an unwelcome adult like you wouldn't believe.

Now parents insist on controlling who their kids play with and how and for how long. This diminishes childrens' sense of agency and fairness.

My Parents gave me a few simple rules : Don't abandon friends. Don't get into a car with a stranger, and don't take candy from strangers... These generally served us well. We learned from older kids that we had to take special care of kids who were smaller or weaker than us. All adults told us to 'share' or 'play nice' and 'be safe' ...
 
2012-10-02 12:31:31 AM
"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."
-George Orwell

us13.memecdn.com
 
2012-10-02 12:59:24 AM
The Sad and Asinine tags are fighting it out to see who gets to go swimming in the effluent.
 
2012-10-02 01:05:48 AM

bigbaddoc: I'm one of those parents who doesn't let the kids out of sight.

I'm 41 now... when I was 10, a friend and I were walking home from playing at another friend's house when two men in a trans am/camaro/firebird tried to forcibly abduct us. It was 5pm on the main thoroughfare in town-- a relatively busy 4 lane city street. We had the presence of mind to run in the opposite direction of traffic, and the street was far too busy for them to turn around. When they turned the corner, we ran into an open garage and hid under a car. They circled the block a few times, then gave up. We ran the three blocks back to our street and told our parents who obviously called the police.

I can still see the car, picture their faces, and remember every word of the conversation with the cop like it was yesterday. I am thoroughly convinced that they would have abducted, raped, and possibly killed us if they had managed to get us into the car.

Yeah, I'm a little overprotective with my kids, but I have good reason.

/100% true. Outside of the family, I've never told any of this to anyone other than my wife, and I can feel the waves of anxiety rise up in me as I type this.


Didn't happen to me, but I still keep an eye out on my kids.

I'm 37, grew up in a fairly rural area where corn fields are being overrun by half-empty subdivisions, mostly populated with people who want to retire from urban areas but not leave the state (no idea why, it's Illinois) and/or people who want to move to "the country" to get their kids away from bad influence (yeah, I want my kids to play with your kids, right.) The closest town is a college town, and like most the local towns, the local drug supply chain tends to be dominated by people from East St. Louis. Crime per capita makes Carbondale, IL one of the top 100 most dangerous cities in America, and of course budget cutbacks mean people are getting back on the streets earlier. It's weird, too, because it seems like such a nice town. When people found out we got our kid out of the Carbondale school system, so many people said, "oh, good." Wha...?

Anyway...

When I was a kid, some of my cousins lived in a little town that, at the time, was sort of a cross between Leave it to Beaver and The Simpsons. There were times when parents literally wouldn't know where their kids were for days at a time. One of my cousins went missing for an entire day, and it turned out he'd fallen asleep behind the couch. True story.

Then, one day, a little girl named Amy Schulz got into a car with a stranger, who raped her and left her corpse on my grandpa's property.

I'd played with this girl.

Some lessons cannot be learned the hard way.

Besides, where I live, well, I have a 7 year old and 3.5 year old. There aren't any neighbors within walking distance for these kids. They go to other peoples' houses when we take them, they'll play unsupervised in the context of being in their house/yard/whatever, but they're not tearing up and down the road, no. As other people said in this thread, it's a different world now. It'd be great to let the little shiats run free, but people don't watch for kids, don't care about the kids, some of these college kids have an attitude about the crotchfruit, and whereas on country roads people used to have the good sense to drive sensibly, people will haul ass down our road 55-75mph when they have no business going any faster than 45, tops, especially during harvest (we're on the boundary between developments and corn, and we have to share the roads, especially at harvest.)

Cities? Or, at least, suburbs? Forget it. I went to a birthday party for another cousin's son, and it's cul-de-sac hell. There's no decent sidewalks, no decent way to get from point A to point B, nobody wants the crotchfruit running through their yards, nobody watches out for the kids, nobody makes sure the creeps are staying away from the neighborhood kids. This all happened when you were kids and "nobody" watched you, you know; yes, even you. rubi_con_man hit on something else, too, which is that you traveled in packs. People seem to have this idyllic memory of childhood where they were tearing ass around all over the place, nobody gave a shiat, and it's not like that now. No, it's not. We built a society where socialization is discouraged. Don't blame current parents, blame the people who wanted the nice house on the cul-de-sac in a nice school district and wanted to be left alone.

Well, that's the reality for the middle class, at least. Don't get me started on Farkers generalizing this on everyone, based on their perceptions from waddling out to get in the car to go get some more Krispy-Kreme and Mtn Dew. My wife's first teaching job was at the second-poorest school district in the state. Talk about parents who really didn't give a shiat if their kids lived or died...God, parents would biatch about how ballgames and other extra-curricular activities got in the way of "my stories" and, at the most, would drop their kids off at school and leave to go watch TV. Farking assholes, nuke the town from orbit.
 
2012-10-02 02:30:29 AM

Lumpmoose: Lollipop165: Lumpmoose: Would that have happened if you grew up in Manhattan, even back then? TFA would be a lot more interesting if it compared average population density over time as it relates to childhood. They're jumping straight to the conclusion of blaming society and parental fears while in the meantime a hell of a lot more kids are growing up in densely populated areas. That's the issue that needs to be articulated and addressed (if there even is a problem). Journalists are lazy when they pin this solely on get-off-my-lawn nostalgia and they do society a disservice.

Having grown up in NYC, yes, kids were allowed to roam around by themselves even back in the *gasp* 1970's and 1980's. We'd just pack up. By age 12, most kids I knew were taking the subway by themselves too.

OK fair enough, I don't know WTF I'm talking about. Considering the current crime rates vs. the 70s and 80s, it has to be safer now.


Yeah, and the sharp decline of drugs and gangs over the years, particularly in major urban areas, has definitely helped.

/or something.
 
2012-10-02 02:33:10 AM
demidog

Rik01: [OLDMANYELLSATCLOUD.JPEG]

Seriously though, this thread is one of the very few times I'm mostly in agreement with DIA and the rest of you old farts. You have to let kids run around, go exploring, have adventures, and make their own mistakes sometimes if you want any chance of them growing up to be well-adjusted individuals. In regards to there being too much information, I never quite understood why people just didn't apply some critical thinking to the messages they received and not treat everything that appears on the news or they read online as gospel. But then, people are kind of stupid that way.


Because people, in general, trust authority figures. They also have a basic tendency to believe what is written -- since ages ago, only scholars and wise men wrote books. Plus, writers are getting better at lying. There's a whole advertising field just for 'Social Psychiatry', where psychiatrists study whole groups of people and determine where their weak spots are so ads can be custom designed to hit them hard.

Just watch a days worth of assorted booze ads for confirmation of that.

Plus, a lot of folks are trapped in low education areas, where stupid is prized as street smarts. The living location tends to play a major influence on how folks think and react.

Others are just too worn out from the conflicting information overflow to bother to reason through things.
Like, this is an election year and the candidates are happily confusing the public by slandering each other, exaggerating the facts and skillfully distorting the truths.

Factor in the explosive population growth since the 60's and people are living nearly in each others laps. Science has shown time and time again that living too close together is not a good thing for the human psych.

Then bad news makes big bucks, so the media is full of it and folks just get tired of it.

When I was growing up, the USA was the HERO of the world. By the time I was a young man, the USA was starting to be called a warmonger. In my 30's, the USA was a meddler and by my 40's, hated universally through most of the globe.

So said the media.

I was actually surprised to find the media wrong. The Internet allowed us to talk to average folks in other nations and I discovered that the media was mostly lying.

So, folks get exhausted trying to reason through every claim and statement pushed at them from hundreds of informational sources.
 
2012-10-02 02:40:16 AM

colorado_zombie: I would have no problem letting my kids play by themselves at the park once that hit a responsible age, like around 7. The only thing I worry about now is some busy body idiot calling CPS on me. In fact, I was on one of those parenting message boards not to long ago and one mom said that leaving a 7 year old in the park alone was the same as child abuse.


As a school bus driver who sees hundreds of kids each year, I can tell you... the average 7 year old is *not* responsible.

/good luck.
 
2012-10-02 05:47:15 AM
Narrator - You take your child to the park. You watch her play on the swings. Another parent strikes up a conversation. You take your eyes off your child for a moment. When you turn back...

She's gone.

Hysterical mom - LILLY?!?! LILLY?!?!?!

Narrator - What if she were actually abducted?

/Actual PSA on the radio
 
2012-10-02 05:55:11 AM

HortusMatris: "Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."
-George Orwell

[us13.memecdn.com image 640x492]


Yeah, but the thing about that is:
1. Each generation might actually be more intelligent than the one that came before it. Flynn effect
2. Experience leads to wisdom; until a given generation dies off, their successors cannot surpass their wisdom because the elder generation is still accruing experience.
 
2012-10-02 07:12:04 AM

cuzsis: colorado_zombie: I would have no problem letting my kids play by themselves at the park once that hit a responsible age, like around 7. The only thing I worry about now is some busy body idiot calling CPS on me. In fact, I was on one of those parenting message boards not to long ago and one mom said that leaving a 7 year old in the park alone was the same as child abuse.

As a school bus driver who sees hundreds of kids each year, I can tell you... the average 7 year old is *not* responsible.

/good luck.


The average 7 year old WHERE YOU ARE is not, sure. That is not the same though as saying that they couldn't be if they needed to be. There are 7 year olds raising their younger brothers and sisters in war ravaged parts of Africa. Not so long ago there were 7 year olds down t' pit in the third world (Yorkshire) doing jobs where the lives of dozens of miners were in the hands of one minor.
Kids that young can be responsible if they are asked to be or if they need to be. Now, I am quite happy that my kids didn't have to be, but I have tried to make sure they are able to.
 
2012-10-02 07:33:57 AM

LaraAmber: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: GreenAdder: Your kids getting taken isn't such a bad idea, as long as you have a very particular set of skills.

Honestly, I'm really on board with Liam killing every motherfarker in the room, but I can't get behind those movies for whatever reason.


For me it was the fact that a. he left other people's kids behind in pursuit of finding his own and b. he has these guys he works with and doesn't ask ONE of them to strap on a gun and come help???


And then, after he just waltzes in to Paris and kills basically all the gypsy stereotypes in the farking city, they're making a sequel where whoever wasn't in the city at the time want to capture his family AGAIN?

Uh, guys? Suspension of disbelief for some action porn is fine, but when a man singlehandedly is able to walk in to one of your construction sites, murder everyone there, wreck the site, and just leave consequence free, then beat all of your best trained assholes on a boat to save his kid, just...just let that one go. Whatever you do, don't try the same thing again just out of spite, because even if the price of bullets has skyrocketed, he's going to just be using YOUR guns the majority of the time.
 
2012-10-02 08:37:48 AM

ADHD Librarian: Not so long ago there were 7 year olds down t' pit in the third world (Yorkshire) doing jobs where the lives of dozens of miners were in the hands of one minor.


i.ytimg.com

Luxury.
 
2012-10-02 09:35:13 AM
I'd be outside playing all day long when I was 5 or 6. This was back in the 80s and in a fairly small town, but I still remember one day both my parents had to leave for the day and my friends and I were basically left to fend for ourselves for the entire day. And we somehow managed not to die or get kidnapped. I also rode my bike over a mile to school each day starting when I was 10, and still managed never to get lost or run over. Now the damn school buses make driveway to driveway stops because someone decided that it's not safe to walk even a block away from your house.

The problem is, as was pointed out, the over-exposure to media. Brain dead parents hear a story about one kid being abducted on the other side of the country and now they're terrified to let their own run outside. Then you have an entire generation raised without any self-reliance skills
 
2012-10-02 09:58:30 AM
The number one concern for me (not that I have kids) would definitely be the traffic risks. Okay, a dude in 1919 walked 6 miles to a creek. That would just not work in 2012. Around here it'd probably be a freaking miracle if an 8 year old managed to walk 6 miles somewhere and 6 miles back without getting run over twice.

I played outside a lot when I was a kid (80s/90s) but honestly I would've rather been playing video games.
 
2012-10-02 10:04:54 AM
I'm a dad who keeps a very watchful eye on my two kids. They're 2 and 4. I don't' make it obvious, I'll let them free play at the park, but I don't let them out of my sight. When they get older I don't know what I'm going to do to keep them safe, I haven't fully thought about it. I did tell my wife I won't invade their privacy, no reading diaries, no snooping internet histories. Still, I do fear their being harmed, probably because I had a man try and abduct me, or so I believe. When I was seven years old I was asked by my mom to take some butter to a neighbor down the street. It was semi-dark out, I lived in a wealthy neighborhood, no real crime. I walked to the neighbor's, gave them the butter, then started walking back. There was a section of road where there were tall hedges on both sides, and it was very dark. Halfway into this section I heard something jump from the hedges, I didn't turn, just ran, figured maybe it was a dog. I was a fast seven year old, always the fastest kid on the soccer field. I was running fast, but when I realized the noise I was hearing behind me was of shoes and a man breathing I got scared shiatless and kicked it up. I ran down the road as fast as I could, but I could hear his steps getting louder. I was almost home when I decided to cut across the neighbor's lawn to take a shortcut through the hedges that divided our yards. The hole I had made previously was large enough for me to plow through, but the man behind me got caught up a bit and stumbled, I could hear him fall and make an "OHHmMMPH" noise. I ran to my door, threw open the screen door, and opened the front door in terror. In my haste I got my pinkie finder caught on an opening of sheet metal on the screen door and my finger was cut off at the first digit. My mom and dad asked me what had happened, I told them, then my mom realized the wound on my hand. We went to the hospital while my father looked for the guy. Never found him, but my brother and sister both saw a man approaching kids from his car soon after. Also, a few months later, my mom left me and my sister at home alone to run to the store for a twenty minutes. Not long after she left someone started ringing the doorbell, then slamming into the door, then they went around back and slammed into that door. It was a very well built house, stone, strong solid doors. We called the police, as soon as they showed up the banging stopped, the cops didn't even come to see us, just flashed a light then off they went, and the banging returned. When my mom came home the banging stopped. We had no other incidents for us, but a year later there was a boy a few miles away who was molested and killed, unsolved crime.
 
2012-10-02 10:21:52 AM

thesloppy: Hmmm, that IS surprising. I would expect these 8 year-olds to stand up and remind their parents of how children were raised in the 100 years before they were born. Since 8 year-olds are farking fonts of history and independence.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-02 12:15:58 PM
I lived in a rural subdivision, born in 74. Once I was of school age, i was pretty much allowed free run of the immediate neighborhood, and as i got older, my range increased. Never was approached by a stranger, had a neighbor family that was like a grandma and uncles to me.
When i was six, I was molested by my own cousin who was babysitting me and lived just up the street. Parents realized that strangers weren't my enemy and i got to do all the same foolish shiat as my friends did. Just had to stay away from that one cousin, who was smart enough himself to stay away once his parents were informed of his behaviour
 
2012-10-02 12:45:55 PM

Satanic_Hamster: And kids? Remember, odds are, it's your parents who will rape you to death.


will they also eat my flesh and sew my skin into clothing?

and if I ask nicely will they do it in that order?
 
2012-10-02 12:58:00 PM

Secret Master of All Flatulence: PsiChick: /He thinks there's multiple sex offenders in our neighborhood

Have you checked the Sex Offender Registry? He may not be quite as paranoid as you think.


Oh, I'm sure they're there. Problem is, you can't tell if they were put there for peeing in public or for actual threats.

/Also, there's a police officer living literally down the street.
 
2012-10-02 01:44:36 PM
When I'm home with my kids we go OUT. Out to the woods, out to the zoo, out to the playgrounds (where I sit on the bench and just make sure I can see his orange hat), out riding his tricycle. He is three and the baby is, well, a baby. As they get older they will be allowed to play in the neighborhood front yards with the other kids, and ride their bike down the rail trail to the park and back (no road crossings).

When I am at work they are at daycare. If she were to let her charges out of her sight for an instant, even to go to the playground a block away, she'd get her arse sued so fast...I think that's a big difference. If *I* let my kid fall out of a tree and break his arm, well, that's one thing. If the paid babysitter does, well...somebody has to answer for it.

Lots more kids have two working parents nowadays than when I was a free-range kid.
 
2012-10-02 01:45:15 PM
My childhood range was pretty much the area between the living room and the bathroom, and that was in the early 90's. Guess the "golden days" must have been ending then.

Basically, my parents told me that "every living person other than me, your other parent, and your grandparents is out to kill you, so never go out of the house if you want to live". Which resulted in me being a child shut-in with no friends. Though, I couldn't watch TV either, so I was pretty much raised by books. And crafts. I have a 5 by 5 foot needlepoint of a garden laying around somewhere that I did one summer...six hours of needlework every day until my back hurt too much and I crawled off into into a corner to read.

The result today is that I'm hyper-educated, but unemployable because I am terrified of pretty much everything outside the safety of the university library. And I used to be terrified of that too, before I pretty much started living there.

...let your kids outside, you don't want them to turn into me. I know that If I, by some horrific cosmic mistake, ever had kids, I'd throw them out the back door to play/socialize, even if it gave me fits to think of the danger out there. Which it would. But, hey, greater good and all.
 
2012-10-02 02:03:48 PM
I have a three year old and I'll tell you that I'm WAY more concerned with traffic than anything else. Beyond that, you've got the issue that we don't live in a rural country anymore. If kids are someplace and you don't know where they are, they are either trespassing or are in someone's house that you don't know, they aren't tromping around the farking hundred acre wood. Like it or not, kids today being more regimented and reigned in is a refection of the society they live in, not of any imaginary danger.
 
2012-10-02 04:13:44 PM

Scoot951: The number one concern for me (not that I have kids) would definitely be the traffic risks. Okay, a dude in 1919 walked 6 miles to a creek. That would just not work in 2012. Around here it'd probably be a freaking miracle if an 8 year old managed to walk 6 miles somewhere and 6 miles back without getting run over twice.

I played outside a lot when I was a kid (80s/90s) but honestly I would've rather been playing video games.


I managed to do so regularly in the 80s and traffic has not gotten that much more dangerous since then. You know who gets run over the most? College students. They apparently never learned to cross the street as kids and are usually paying more attention to their phone than cars, expect cars to stop for them even if they are about 10' away, and have iPods on all the time so they can't hear anything. Kids are learning no life skills anymore.
 
2012-10-02 05:10:30 PM

Indubitably: Beanlet: PallMall: Halloween being the next fiasco of the year... good point. But it brings to mind another issue...

Thug punks running loose in the area. Kids who have no respect for anyone else. They'll grab all of the candy you have in your hand.. even if it's meant for multiple kids. Then... they carry guns. Your kids are more likely to get jacked up by some little piece of shiat (with asshole parents who should be punished for raising such shiatbags) than you are by Chester the Child Molester.

We just moved from the neighborhood I'm about to mention.. there was a family of about 12 people, from Great Grandma all the way to Cute Teeny Baby in Minnie Mouse costume. I'd open the door to find cute little kids and Teeny Baby staring at me, "twick or tweet!" from the little 4 year old would make me smile. The first year, I stuck the candy bucket out for the little ones to take a fist full.. and suddenly, I was assaulted by the whole freaking family. the candy bucket was nearly empty and the little kids were still standing there, begging for more. I really felt assaulted. They were grabbing the bucket, one almost pulled it out of my hand. I turned off the lights and sat in the dark until my husband came back from taking my daughter out. They completely ruined my evening.

They came back every year, same routine. Stick the little kids out front and try to make a grab for the candy from behind. My daughter got the brunt of it the first year she was handing out candy, I think that was the third year they came. After that, it was like a siege.. we'd keep an eye out for them, see them coming and dole out a single piece to the little kids, then tell the adults "no costume, no candy, comprende?" (they didn't wear costumes from about the age of 10+) and close the door..

I sure hope they don't find their way to our new house.. I wouldn't be surprised to see them though.

Candy=status?


Nope. Some people will bus their kids into the "rich" neighborhoods to get candy. I think some of it is the whole "sticking it to the white man" thing, an entitlement attitude of us vs. them, and part of it's just that they don't have money to get the good stuff most of the year so they do on Halloween. The worst part is the kids are so nice until they hit about 7 or 8 and start emulating the douchiness of their parents.
 
2012-10-02 05:21:28 PM

Pitabred: Nope. Some people will bus their kids into the "rich" neighborhoods to get candy. I think some of it is the whole "sticking it to the white man" thing, an entitlement attitude of us vs. them, and part of it's just that they don't have money to get the good stuff most of the year so they do on Halloween. The worst part is the kids are so nice until they hit about 7 or 8 and start emulating the douchiness of their parents.


parents do that with kids around where I live. it's not "sticking it" to anyone. It's a combination of safer streets and families actually participating in giving out candy.

for example, a few times my wife and I set up to give out candy out at our place. but, we leave near the ghetto and never saw a single kid. plus, no one around us was giving out candy. then, we went to a halloween party where the rich people live, and there were kids everywhere.

/ they were not from that neighborhood, but they were all still nice.
 
2012-10-02 05:48:50 PM

pute kisses like a man: Pitabred: Nope. Some people will bus their kids into the "rich" neighborhoods to get candy. I think some of it is the whole "sticking it to the white man" thing, an entitlement attitude of us vs. them, and part of it's just that they don't have money to get the good stuff most of the year so they do on Halloween. The worst part is the kids are so nice until they hit about 7 or 8 and start emulating the douchiness of their parents.

parents do that with kids around where I live. it's not "sticking it" to anyone. It's a combination of safer streets and families actually participating in giving out candy.

for example, a few times my wife and I set up to give out candy out at our place. but, we leave near the ghetto and never saw a single kid. plus, no one around us was giving out candy. then, we went to a halloween party where the rich people live, and there were kids everywhere.

/ they were not from that neighborhood, but they were all still nice.


Could be. I have no problem giving the candy out to the kids, I can totally get that their neighborhood isn't safe or receptive to do that in. It's when their parents/older siblings come up to the door and want candy without a costume, or when the older kids come back 2 or 3 or 4 times with just a different mask or whatever, that's what makes me think my generosity is being taken advantage of. I'm in a decent neighborhood, though... everyone keeps their lawns mowed and such, but it's not the most affluent.
 
2012-10-02 06:46:52 PM
I've seen a situation on the other side of the coin.

Friend of mine is dating a woman in her mid 30's with two kids in high school. She regularly leaves them home alone for two or three weeks at a time to hang out at his apartment. She doesn't have a car, she doesn't work, she just hangs out while he's at work, going home every few weeks to make sure the kids have groceries. She texts her kids in the morning to make sure that they get up for school and what not, but they are for all intents and purposes they are home alone. Is that considered okay these days? I guess they can always phone her if they have a problem.
 
2012-10-02 08:48:27 PM

Beauf: give me doughnuts: I had the best of both worlds: We lived in the 'burbs, so there were always a lot of other kids near your age and town-type places to go, and we lived on the edge of those 'burbs so we had fields and woods and creeks to play in.
Mom and Dad were small town/farm kids when they grew up so they were of the "Go outside and play, be home for supper" mentality.
When we got new shoes, we kept the old ones for wading in creeks and mowing the lawn.
The rule was no snakes/toads/frogs/turtles/whatever-else-you-just-caught in the house.
When we wanted to build a treehouse, Dad gave us the hammer with the loose head and cracked handle. Location, design, and acquisition of materials was all up to us.
Baseball, football, and basketball were all played year-round.
If it rolled or slid, it was raced down the hill we lived on (lots of skin got left on the pavement).
If you got hurt, you were only allowed to go home unless you had a broken bone or if you were bleeding and, scrapes didn't count.
Every mom on the block could/would rat you out and/or give you a needed swat of the butt for misbehavior.
Homemade treats were accepted on Halloween, and adults did not accompany their kids (unless they didn't have an older sibling and were under 5).

Now stay off my lawn unless you are one of my cousins' kids, and you are playing with your friends.

Sounds a lot like my childhood. Once my dad got sick of me being in the house and handed me a magnifying glass, telling me not to come in until I found two snowflakes that were exactly alike.


lol. We used to go to my uncle''s house every few weeks. He and my mom told us there were gypsies in the fields behind his house, and if we walked far enough we'd find them. Each time we came back and said we didn't find the gypsies, they'd tell us we probably got close, and just had to go a little bit further. Worked for years.
 
2012-10-02 11:13:28 PM

Handsome B. Wonderful: Kids these days don't need to search the woods for dirty magazines, that's why.


Heh. Me and a buddy found an entire shopping bag full of the old 'Screw' magazine out in the woods, and only the topmost one had gotten damp, despite the rain. Truly, God had preserved this manna for us.

We were, subsequently, gods ourselves amongst our fellow middle schoolers.
 
2012-10-03 06:59:43 PM

Pitabred: Indubitably: Beanlet: PallMall: Halloween being the next fiasco of the year... good point. But it brings to mind another issue...

Thug punks running loose in the area. Kids who have no respect for anyone else. They'll grab all of the candy you have in your hand.. even if it's meant for multiple kids. Then... they carry guns. Your kids are more likely to get jacked up by some little piece of shiat (with asshole parents who should be punished for raising such shiatbags) than you are by Chester the Child Molester.

We just moved from the neighborhood I'm about to mention.. there was a family of about 12 people, from Great Grandma all the way to Cute Teeny Baby in Minnie Mouse costume. I'd open the door to find cute little kids and Teeny Baby staring at me, "twick or tweet!" from the little 4 year old would make me smile. The first year, I stuck the candy bucket out for the little ones to take a fist full.. and suddenly, I was assaulted by the whole freaking family. the candy bucket was nearly empty and the little kids were still standing there, begging for more. I really felt assaulted. They were grabbing the bucket, one almost pulled it out of my hand. I turned off the lights and sat in the dark until my husband came back from taking my daughter out. They completely ruined my evening.

They came back every year, same routine. Stick the little kids out front and try to make a grab for the candy from behind. My daughter got the brunt of it the first year she was handing out candy, I think that was the third year they came. After that, it was like a siege.. we'd keep an eye out for them, see them coming and dole out a single piece to the little kids, then tell the adults "no costume, no candy, comprende?" (they didn't wear costumes from about the age of 10+) and close the door..

I sure hope they don't find their way to our new house.. I wouldn't be surprised to see them though.

Candy=status?

Nope. Some people will bus their kids into the "rich" neighborhoods ...


Your nope says nope to my query, but your subsequent example says yes...

Which is it?

*leans in to listen*
 
2012-10-03 09:46:32 PM

Indubitably: Pitabred: Indubitably: Beanlet: PallMall: Halloween being the next fiasco of the year... good point. But it brings to mind another issue...

Thug punks running loose in the area. Kids who have no respect for anyone else. They'll grab all of the candy you have in your hand.. even if it's meant for multiple kids. Then... they carry guns. Your kids are more likely to get jacked up by some little piece of shiat (with asshole parents who should be punished for raising such shiatbags) than you are by Chester the Child Molester.

We just moved from the neighborhood I'm about to mention.. there was a family of about 12 people, from Great Grandma all the way to Cute Teeny Baby in Minnie Mouse costume. I'd open the door to find cute little kids and Teeny Baby staring at me, "twick or tweet!" from the little 4 year old would make me smile. The first year, I stuck the candy bucket out for the little ones to take a fist full.. and suddenly, I was assaulted by the whole freaking family. the candy bucket was nearly empty and the little kids were still standing there, begging for more. I really felt assaulted. They were grabbing the bucket, one almost pulled it out of my hand. I turned off the lights and sat in the dark until my husband came back from taking my daughter out. They completely ruined my evening.

They came back every year, same routine. Stick the little kids out front and try to make a grab for the candy from behind. My daughter got the brunt of it the first year she was handing out candy, I think that was the third year they came. After that, it was like a siege.. we'd keep an eye out for them, see them coming and dole out a single piece to the little kids, then tell the adults "no costume, no candy, comprende?" (they didn't wear costumes from about the age of 10+) and close the door..

I sure hope they don't find their way to our new house.. I wouldn't be surprised to see them though.

Candy=status?

Nope. Some people will bus their kids into the "rich" nei ...


The "nope" was in response to candy equating with status. Which it in no way does. It's just taking advantage of the generosity of others, which I'm not entirely sure is any kind of "status" thing, I tend to think it's more of a "dehumanized target" thing, it's what results when you think of people as from some other group rather than as, you know... people.
 
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