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(NPR)   A look at how, over the past three generations, parents have evolved from telling their children to "be home before the lights come on" to "DO NOT WANDER MORE THAN AN ARM'S REACH FROM ME OR YOU'LL GET TAKEN"   (npr.org) divider line 346
    More: Asinine, wander, The San Diego Union  
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20839 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 5:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 05:51:29 PM

Tax Boy: [happybabysolutions.com image 480x480]


If you had twin gingers and their Irish triplet brother, you'd leash 'em too.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:10 PM

FunkOut: Tax Boy: [happybabysolutions.com image 480x480]

If you had twin gingers and their Irish triplet brother, you'd leash 'em too.


I'd try to sell them.
 
2012-10-01 05:53:04 PM

ReverendLoki: Now I have a young one that just turned 3 and live in a city, and even though I remember how much good having that much freedom did for me, and having read all the pro-free-range kids stuff, I'm still scared to let her out of my sight, and I'm not sure how much freedom I'll be able to bring myself to give her at what age.


THIS. Going through the exact same thing with my 3 1/2 year old. I already fell bad that we don't let her out in the back yard as much as we should (too hot, too cold, too wet, too many mosquitos, etc...). It's a tricky situation.
 
2012-10-01 05:53:20 PM
My 9 year old says "going outside"
And we just ask us to let us know which house she ends up at so we know where to get her at dinner time if need be.
That's it.
The 13 year old we have to pry the phone out of her hands and kick her out from time to time.
 
2012-10-01 05:53:40 PM

The Muthaship: I'd try to sell them.


And who would by them? They're gingers, not people.
 
2012-10-01 05:54:19 PM
I feel bad for today's kids if this is the case. I'm 46, and when I was twelve I was allowed to walk/ride my bike ANYWHERE as long as I was back before the sun went down.

That was just the late 70's. Can't believe how restricted over FEAR things are these days.
 
2012-10-01 05:55:08 PM

chuckufarlie: thurstonxhowell: garron: As society has become more perverse, the threat of child abduction and rape has sky-rocketed. No need to spend research funds to figure that out.

Meanwhile, in reality, the rates of both child abduction and rape have plummeted.

plummeted is just as inaccurate as sky-rocketed.

And to be honest, he did say the THREAT has increased. That might be harder to disprove.


Shouldn't it be on him to prove that the threat has increased instead of t'other way around? Especially since his assertion that the threat has gone up is based on the entirely faulty idea that society has become more perverse.
 
2012-10-01 05:55:50 PM

davidphogan: I can't imagine not being able to wander the neighboorhood with my friends as a kid. Video games were fun, but so was getting lost in the woods.


Growing up in the early 90s late 80s in middle of Davenport just off of Locust Street this is what we did. My parents knew all of our neighbors and we were allowed to roam free until the streetlights came on. The only rules were don't cross Locust, and don't go down past the train tracks in the woods. When I have children to raise I expect I'll set up a similar set of rules.
 
2012-10-01 05:57:08 PM
I can't imagine not having free reign to the 10 sq miles that was my town. Any day I would bike as far as 5 miles away. I even took a hand at cartography to make the map when I was an early teenager and this was late nineties. What the hell England? Growing up rural is awesome. I'm amused by anything as an adult.
 
2012-10-01 06:01:34 PM

FuturePastNow: My friends and I would run around for hours on end playing "assassination," basically murdering each other with Super Soakers and Nerf guns.

That was only... fifteen years ago? Kids don't seem to do that much anymore.


You used Nerf guns??? Pansy. We would go into the woods with axes and saws, cut a bunch of tree branches down, take them to David's house, grab the fishing line and build bows. Then we'd fashion the remaining sticks into arrows, save for the few that we'd build small swords out of. Then we'd return to the woods to play assassination with our bows and arrows. Never caused more than a bruise with an arrow. Can't say the same about what was done with the swords. Broke two bows. Others were faster with rushing me with their swords than I was at loading an arrow, blocked the sword attack with the bow, which broke the bow, but at least I still had my sword.
 
2012-10-01 06:01:51 PM

Rik01: I was a Free Range Kid. I've watched, with increasing concern, the steady decline of my type over the decades...


Agreed. Toss in the fact that kids grow up under a psychological microscope where any and every behavior is examined for elements of aberration, including failure to perform.

Being a kid now is a lot like being in prison.
 
2012-10-01 06:02:10 PM
When our family first moved into our house, our quiet suburban street resembled a ghost town. Besides going from their cars to their front doors and back, we rarely saw anyone come out of their houses or let their kids play outside, despite having several families with young children nearby. We started letting our boys play up and down the street and lo and behold, when the neighbor kids saw them playing outside they cajoled their parents into letting them go out, too. Slowly, more and more kids were allowed to come out and play in the street and in neighbors' yards, and I met more and more parents as they would come out to check on their kids and check me out to make sure I was "safe". Now, there is a big troop of kids that play together up and down the street any chance they get, riding bicycles, running races, and never slowing down until the sun goes down and they're called home. Everyone is happier, even the elderly neighbors who say they love the sound of the happy children playing. They tell me it reminds them of when they were kids.

All it takes to break this silly paranoia is for one parent in the neighborhood to start letting their kid out to play. Plus, the more kids are out playing, the more parents and friendly neighbors are out keeping an eye on their neighborhood, and the safer the neighborhood becomes.
 
2012-10-01 06:02:45 PM
I think there is another factor people are missing: smaller families.

Now, I'm in Utah so our numbers are probably out a whack with the rest of a the country by a generation or two, but my in my mother's generation, 4-5 kids was a smallish family. When I grew up, that was about average, only a couple of families had more than that. And now? Even among the big family Mormons I know, most couples are declaring "done" at right around 4. Others are stopping at one or two.

There is a lot more invested in those fewer kids, so they get watched closer.

Another thing is, now that there are less of them, who do they go out to play with?
 
2012-10-01 06:03:34 PM
Kids these days don't need to search the woods for dirty magazines, that's why.
 
2012-10-01 06:04:29 PM

Sticky Hands: There is a lot more invested in those fewer kids, so they get watched closer.



Nah.

I was an only child. Much looser reins than poor children today.
 
2012-10-01 06:05:18 PM

WillyChase: davidphogan: I can't imagine not being able to wander the neighboorhood with my friends as a kid. Video games were fun, but so was getting lost in the woods.

Growing up in the early 90s late 80s in middle of Davenport just off of Locust Street this is what we did. My parents knew all of our neighbors and we were allowed to roam free until the streetlights came on. The only rules were don't cross Locust, and don't go down past the train tracks in the woods. When I have children to raise I expect I'll set up a similar set of rules.


I think this is the major difference. You don't really have any sense of community now. You don't have an entire neighborhood basically looking out for your kids. Smaller towns and rural towns still seem to be mostly like the "good ole days" where city/suburban life is ruled by fear - and rightfully so.
 
2012-10-01 06:05:51 PM

Tax Boy: [happybabysolutions.com image 480x480]


Dang, three toddlers to keep track of.... I can't blame her.
 
2012-10-01 06:06:27 PM
I was having a casual conversation with a couple parents and teachers at my sons school the other day (he's 9), casually mentioned that since I am now bicycling with him to school every day that pretty soon he might be able to ride by himself to school like I did when I was 6.

Their reaction was similar to if I had just shown them a puppy and and proceeded to rape it with a chainsaw. Guess I better wait till he's 12, don't want the cops called on me for abuse.
 
2012-10-01 06:06:31 PM

serial_crusher: If I had kids, road traffic would be the thing that worried me the most. You can't go a mile from my house in any direction without crossing a major highway. I get the impression that traffic wasn't quite that gnarly in the 1950s.


As a parent, that is what I'm most concerned about.

When I was a kid every other driver wasn't talking on a phone while driving, staring at their GPS, or otherwise not paying attention to what the hell they're doing. I was hit by a car, in a crosswalk, in a grade school parking lot because Mrs Soccermom forgot that after dropping her little princess that she was still in a school parking lot and went into "rush to work" mode.

A couple years ago while walking my daughter to school, I had to pick up my kid and throw her into someone's yard in case the onrushing SUV that had jumped the curb and taken out two mailboxes because Mr I'msoimportant felt was on his phone and wasn't paying attention to traffic and though that driving up onto the sidewalk where kids were going to school was preferable to slamming into the back of a line of cars that had actually stopped at a crosswalk.

This morning at about 7:45 I watched another minivan going about 40 blow through the grade school crosswalk five feet from a kid crossing the street.

Seriously, is getting to the farking office two minutes faster that farking important?
 
2012-10-01 06:07:15 PM

dahmers love zombie

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the reason we have a nation of fatass little kids. As opposed to Fark, which is the reason we have a fatass big-ol' me.

Living in a police state doesn't help

Arrested for child endangerment, for allowing her 2 children to play outside
 
2012-10-01 06:08:29 PM
I was just talking about this yesterday with one of the nurses I work with.

I had read a blurb to her about this mom basically never letting her out of her sight, and i thought this was pathetic.

I was born in 78, in a small town (13000) and I remember going out with friends, usually to the school which was a block away, and playing whatever sport was in season. There were no parents around, nor were we ever bothered by adults. It was awesome.

I don't have kids (will have two stepsons next spring) but I want them to be able to experience life, to be able to think for thselves, to be hurt by life (not seriously hurt, obviously).

Being hurt, and struggling and surviving, and being a better person for those struggles is what life is all about.

That said, the kids will not be my "friend". I will discipline as needed, but there will be open communication, love and respect. I will be a man of my words, I will not be someone who says "don't do this" but go out and do the exact same thing, and if I do, I've made it clear I want to be called on it.

The point of my ramble is that it seems society feels that it's never ok to let your loved ones feel a little pain once in awhile.

Life is hard, but it can be extremely rewarding to fight through your battles, and come out on top, and the sooner kids are aware of that, the better.
 
2012-10-01 06:08:34 PM
Kids are so screwed these days.

I grew up in a wooded part of town. There were deer paths to go messing around in, plus all the cliffs (since it was a quarry before us). And around when I turned 10 or 12, they started building a subdivision in the woods behind my house...and then promptly stopped for zoning & other bs reasons, which meant we had even more places to go riding bikes and screw around. Plus my house is on the bottom of a hill on the street, which meant the inevitable bike races from the top to somewhere, usually either my house or the neighbors since that's where the road flattens out.

Now? There's kids in at least four or five of the houses around, and NONE of them leave their yards anymore. It's crazy.
 
2012-10-01 06:11:28 PM

Tax Boy: [happybabysolutions.com image 480x480]


Okay, somehow Amy and Rory were turned into babies and baby-Amy got a twin and they are being held captive by some kind of bad guy. I'm sure the Doctor will save them.
 
2012-10-01 06:12:48 PM
Cool stories, bros.
 
2012-10-01 06:13:22 PM

pnome: Tax Boy: [happybabysolutions.com image 480x480]

Dang, three toddlers to keep track of.... I can't blame her.


Its possible to keep 3 or even 5 kids from wandering off and farking with shiat. First step is that you have to be ready to tell them no. Alot of parents have a hard time getting passed the first step. Second step is of course "I SAID NO GOD DAMMIT, NOW WE GO HOME and YOU GET PUNISHED". Some parents substitute just beating the snot out of them right there in the store like bay-bay's kids but I find that to be overkill.
 
2012-10-01 06:13:27 PM

orclover: I was having a casual conversation with a couple parents and teachers at my sons school the other day (he's 9), casually mentioned that since I am now bicycling with him to school every day that pretty soon he might be able to ride by himself to school like I did when I was 6.

Their reaction was similar to if I had just shown them a puppy and and proceeded to rape it with a chainsaw. Guess I better wait till he's 12, don't want the cops called on me for abuse.


That's a pretty legitimate worry. There was local story a couple years ago about a woman cited for neglect for letting her 5 year old walk to and from school by himself.
 
2012-10-01 06:14:35 PM
Growing up I had a radius of about 20 miles, or whomever I could get to take me somewhere that my bike and/or skateboard wouldn't. We had a cut-in-limestone drainage ditch to play in (one time there was raw sewage!). We had slow moving trains laden with gravel and rocks from a nearby quarry to help squash our pennies and quarters. I would regularly skateboard to a friend's house who lived at least 6 miles away - across IH-10. Need something from the Winn's at the mall? Hop on your bike and ride 2-3 miles. It got even worse when the city finally put bus service to our area, because now we could go wherever we wanted in the city. Just head to the mall for the day, be home home by 6 for dinner.

Good times. Good times.

Would I let my child do that now? Hell no. Our parents were nuts to let us do those things in the first place. But back then, EVERY parent was like that.
 
2012-10-01 06:14:54 PM

OnlyM3: dahmers love zombie

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the reason we have a nation of fatass little kids. As opposed to Fark, which is the reason we have a fatass big-ol' me.
Living in a police state doesn't help

Arrested for child endangerment, for allowing her 2 children to play outside


I hope she successfully sues everyone involved.
 
2012-10-01 06:17:22 PM

give me doughnuts: I had the best of both worlds: We lived in the 'burbs, so there were always a lot of other kids near your age and town-type places to go, and we lived on the edge of those 'burbs so we had fields and woods and creeks to play in.
Mom and Dad were small town/farm kids when they grew up so they were of the "Go outside and play, be home for supper" mentality.
When we got new shoes, we kept the old ones for wading in creeks and mowing the lawn.
The rule was no snakes/toads/frogs/turtles/whatever-else-you-just-caught in the house.
When we wanted to build a treehouse, Dad gave us the hammer with the loose head and cracked handle. Location, design, and acquisition of materials was all up to us.
Baseball, football, and basketball were all played year-round.
If it rolled or slid, it was raced down the hill we lived on (lots of skin got left on the pavement).
If you got hurt, you were only allowed to go home unless you had a broken bone or if you were bleeding and, scrapes didn't count.
Every mom on the block could/would rat you out and/or give you a needed swat of the butt for misbehavior.
Homemade treats were accepted on Halloween, and adults did not accompany their kids (unless they didn't have an older sibling and were under 5).

Now stay off my lawn unless you are one of my cousins' kids, and you are playing with your friends.


Everything you wrote is pretty much how I remember the ground rules of being a kid growing up in the midwest anytime between 1965-1975. I can't remember the last time I saw an unsupervised kid wandering around the neighborhood. Sad.
 
2012-10-01 06:20:06 PM

Sticky Hands: orclover: I was having a casual conversation with a couple parents and teachers at my sons school the other day (he's 9), casually mentioned that since I am now bicycling with him to school every day that pretty soon he might be able to ride by himself to school like I did when I was 6.

Their reaction was similar to if I had just shown them a puppy and and proceeded to rape it with a chainsaw. Guess I better wait till he's 12, don't want the cops called on me for abuse.

That's a pretty legitimate worry. There was local story a couple years ago about a woman cited for neglect for letting her 5 year old walk to and from school by himself.


I can't imagine kids today being allowed to be babysitters when they are 12, like I was. I mean, parents used to go away at night and leave their small children being tended to by another small child! And cell phones didn't even exist then! I would have had to call one of the emergency numbers by the phone if something went wrong!

And then people today wonder why kids have so little sense of responsibility and zero understanding of how things work.
 
2012-10-01 06:21:04 PM
Speak for yourselves, my daughter is free to wander our neighborhood and the woods surrounding it until dark just like I was. Dont give a fark what anybody thinks about it.
 
2012-10-01 06:22:34 PM
John Wayne Gacy made a special bike route just for us kids/ He was so nice to us boys.
 
2012-10-01 06:22:38 PM

Handsome B. Wonderful: Kids these days don't need to search the woods for dirty magazines, that's why.


The secret was keeping your stash well hidden so other boys searching the woods wouldn't find them.
 
2012-10-01 06:22:48 PM

Edward Rooney Dean of Students: ...Going through the exact same thing with my 3 1/2 year old. I already fell bad that we don't let her out in the back yard as much as we should (too hot, too cold, too wet, too many mosquitos, etc...). It's a tricky situation.


Keep it up and she'll end up just like my wife. She was raised in a very sheltered environment. As an adult, she almost never does anything outside of her daily routine, she's paralyzed by the mere thought of change, and regardless of the conditions, it's ALWAYS either too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too many mosquitos, etc.

Part of my childhood was spent in a rural area with dirt roads, dry riverbeds, and willow thicket "jungles". We had our own fishing pond. We had BB gun hunting expeditions to the nearby hills. We built forts. We invented wheeled contraptions to race down hills. As long as I was home by dinner time, I could go pretty much anywhere I wanted. Later, we moved to a mid-sized city, and although both parents worked full-time, I still pretty much had carte blanche to go wherever I wanted and do whatever I saw fit, as long as I was home by dinner. As an adult, I'm spontaneous and I adapt quickly to change and new experiences. I am the opposite of my wife in that regard. And it saddens me greatly, since doing just about anything together requires a week or two of planning before it can even happen.
 
2012-10-01 06:25:43 PM
I was born in 1972 and grew up in LA.

We were allowed to roam after the age of eight or nine.

I'm not entirely sure the parents would have been all that upset if I had disappeared. I was a pain in the ass.

/haven't changed
 
2012-10-01 06:26:00 PM
Kids today cannot play - period....and it's the media's fault.

If they're not engrossed in some screen-based entertainment, they are doing "organized play" - your organized soccer, baseball, etc.

Kids can't just go out and build "forts" in the woods and explore - they're explicitly taught to fear anyplace but their home...but oh NO! Parents and relatives can't be trusted either...BAD TOUCH! Kids today have no imagination and therefore no idea how to be "creative". And of course unending fear of the world - don't forget to teach THAT valuable lesson!

Soooo...you're not safe in your home and you're not safe out of the home.

SOLUTION? GIVE UP ALL FREEDOM FOR SAFETY. Which has been the national policy since forever...and nailed down since 9/11 - perfect opportunity for the gov't to take away freedom in support of "safety".

/Never mind that 99% of all "kidnappings" are by non-custodial relatives., NOT strangers.
 
2012-10-01 06:26:07 PM
I'm truly more concerned about traffic than anything. I can't explain, but most people drive like complete assholes. It also seems like there are more cars per person and each person makes more trips per day.

I'd like to live in the sticks away from population but it isn't possible right now.
 
2012-10-01 06:27:07 PM
My parents used to tell me to get the F out of the house and don't come back till it's dark. That would be child abuse now. But, it did allow me to wander the railroad tracks and yards of Minneapolis as a youngster. By the 6th grade, I was hoping low-grade( slow ) frights across the city and to school every morning. There was a 7:30 fright that ran down the Mississippi, and across the trestle, down about 4 blocks from my school in the Northeast part of the city. That's impossible now.
 
2012-10-01 06:27:11 PM

dahmers love zombie: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the reason we have a nation of fatass little kids. As opposed to Fark, which is the reason we have a fatass big-ol' me.


Welcome to Fark, where the userbase can't waddle away from the computer long enough to procreate, but can tell you how to raise your kids.
 
2012-10-01 06:27:29 PM
I don't know if my experiences as a child was unique in the sense that I'm a first-generation American in my family (mom's side, dad is american), but they let me roam wherever, just as long as we were home for dinner...
And even then, it wasn't a big deal.

Though most of my friends weren't allowed to leave their cul-de-sac, let alone their yard.
The few that did, we always went on adventures.


One of them happened to be on a "highway" where the speed limit is 50 mph.
That was scary, mainly because a couple times we'd have people drive up behind us on the side of the road on purpose and honk.

When that would happen we'd run to the ditch or the nearest house we were familiar with.

My sister that was allowed the same freedoms as me doesn't let her children leave the yard at all.
 
2012-10-01 06:27:59 PM
haha....Freights. man, freights....
 
2012-10-01 06:28:15 PM
It's reverse Darwinism. Instead of survival of the fittest, it has come to survival of the most padded and leashed.
On the bright side, it will definitely help my career when these kids become adults and come in for therapy about how mean the big bad world is!
 
2012-10-01 06:28:48 PM

basemetal: [familyonbikes.org image 500x667]


I wanna run that kid over just to hear the pops.
 
2012-10-01 06:29:20 PM
We gladly let our children go outside to play, just as long as one of us is with them. I normally only carry a pistol when we're out playing. When my wife watches them, she sits on the porch, since she thinks it's unseemly for her to be carrying her scoped rifle, and prefers to leave it propped up against the wall, next to her chair. This isn't paranoia on our part, it's just because we checked our State's Sex Offender Registry, and we know what kinds of pervs own property contiguous to ours.

On the positive side: We ran the Crack-House off of our block a couple of years ago. Honestly, I thought it was going to be much harder, but apparently, they were more interested in staying alive than provoking an armed confrontation with us.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:22 PM

tortilla burger: Now that I think about it, 20 years ago the rule was to run around outside, then come home for dinner at sundown. Times were simpler back then I think.


No, you were a KID so everything was simpler. Example: Did you ever worry about the price or availability of gas in the 70's? I bet my parents were freaking out. But I was a kid so, no. Now I wince at gas prices - as an adult, that now affects me. Kids don't understand all that crap, so yeah...simpler. We will ALWAYS see our childhood as a simpler time.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:37 PM
What do I blame for the change?

Technology, the media and society.

See, as a kid, we had newspapers, one black and white TV, a radio and one fixed phone in the house for news. Then there was the theater in town for movies. TV was somewhat censored and that would not change until HBO arrived with cable TV and that alone started changing the world.

Yes, I agree. When I was a kid in San Diego in the 70s, there wasn't jack shiat to do in your house. We'd hit the door as soon as we woke up, and play all day. Honestly, there was nothing else to do. We'd ride our bikes, play football, have rock fights, later on, when the skateboard fad hit, we'd ride our skateboards several miles to this horrendous steep rock staircase down a canyon to Fashion Valley (the mall back then), walk around, get a drink, then climb the staircase again, and go home. It was fun as shiat, it was an adventure.

I got an Atari for Xmas, and all I wanted to do was play Atari, but my friend Craig would show up and drag me out of the house to play whiffle ball, football, etc. Thank FSM for Craig.

What I'm saying is, kids have way too many comfortable options....Outside? Fark That!...and parents are perfectly fine with that, because of all the missing white girls.

It's a different world.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:41 PM
I would kill to let my little sister and her horde friends run around the neighborhood like I did as a kid. So would my mom and brothers. Unfortunately, said sister's father is paranoid as hell.

/He thinks there's multiple sex offenders in our neighborhood
//I'm not entirely sure whether they're the folks who pee in public or not, because when the guy doing the research has the logic of a schizo on crack, there's no point asking.
 
2012-10-01 06:34:38 PM

PsiChick: I would kill to let my little sister and her horde friends run around the neighborhood like I did as a kid. So would my mom and brothers. Unfortunately, said sister's father is paranoid as hell.

/He thinks there's multiple sex offenders in our neighborhood
//I'm not entirely sure whether they're the folks who pee in public or not, because when the guy doing the research has the logic of a schizo on crack, there's no point asking.


I use the sex offender database as a tool to combat the paranoid. The public schools may also have a list of predators in the neighborhood. I think state law here requires them to provide it.
 
2012-10-01 06:35:43 PM
What do I blame for the change?

Technology, the media and society.

See, as a kid, we had newspapers, one black and white TV, a radio and one fixed phone in the house for news. Then there was the theater in town for movies. TV was somewhat censored and that would not change until HBO arrived with cable TV and that alone started changing the world.


That part should have been credited to Rik01
 
2012-10-01 06:36:13 PM
Yeah it's pretty weird, you don't see kids outside that often anymore. I remember endless summer evenings in 70's suburbia-land, running through adjoining back yards, while our moms hung out drinking ice tea. We were allowed to walk to school or the drugstore. Even though a 6th-grade crossing guard got flashed by a driver.

another CSS:
back when I was skinny and living in the big city, I was walking along one morning with a backpack and baseball cap on ... I'm short, and I must've looked like a kid (unintentionally). I happened to be walking along the same route as kids going to school. This guy in a car drives past and looks at me with the nastiest expression on his face, then saw I was an adult and drove off. I will never forget the look on that guy's face, a nasty perverted leer. If I had been 12 years old and that guy flashed me from his car, it would have been waaayyy more disturbing.
 
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