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(Gawker)   Welcome to Target. I love you   (gawker.com) divider line 228
    More: Amusing, Target, AMAZING, existential threat, Amazon  
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25948 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 1:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



228 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2012-10-01 01:16:42 PM  
I wouldn't read that crap if I was a paid employee of Target, and I'm sure as hell not going to read it for free.
 
2012-10-01 01:22:47 PM  
Scripted to 15-second increments?

also:

www.enjoy-your-style.com
 
2012-10-01 01:23:09 PM  
If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.
 
2012-10-01 01:24:53 PM  
I wondered why the local Target pharmacy techs had gone all Stepford Wife on me.
 
2012-10-01 01:29:43 PM  

WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.


Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.
 
2012-10-01 01:30:23 PM  
Hey Target, you wanna be Amazing? Then open more than three of those 30 checkout lanes at noontime.
 
2012-10-01 01:30:32 PM  
I tried to walk into Target once, but I missed.

-Mitch Hedberg
 
2012-10-01 01:30:43 PM  
It looks like they plagiarized a Scientology brochure.
 
2012-10-01 01:31:03 PM  

URAPNIS: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.


unless you need help finding something. Then they are nowhere to be found.
 
2012-10-01 01:31:31 PM  
This is nothing new. Back in the 70s and 80s at Pacific Stereo we had employee "pep rallies", but most of the "pep" was actually cocaine.
 
2012-10-01 01:32:05 PM  
As a consumer, I'm insulted when I think the customer service agent is reading from a script. Stop it, Target.
 
2012-10-01 01:32:33 PM  
Am I the only one that read that in Ralph Wiggum's voice?
 
2012-10-01 01:33:00 PM  
Ow, my balls!
 
2012-10-01 01:33:23 PM  

URAPNIS: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.


This. If I want your help I'll ask, otherwise stay the fark away from me. I've taken to just completely ignoring the clerks at Home Depot, I'll look thru them like they aren't even there. My favorite is always the staff at record/book stores. "Do you need some help?: "No, I've pretty much mastered the goddamn alphabet already"...
 
2012-10-01 01:33:54 PM  
I love Target for the views. It's the opposite of Walmart.
 
2012-10-01 01:34:22 PM  
AMAZING: Currently the 2nd most overused synynom for good next to AWESOME. I'm going to start carring a pocket sized thesaurus to the store if this really happens.
 
2012-10-01 01:34:47 PM  
www.enjoy-your-style.com
 
2012-10-01 01:34:56 PM  

WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.


A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up
 
2012-10-01 01:35:35 PM  
I dunno, it might be a refreshing change from the fat 50 year-old Walmart lifer pushing the shopping cart full of returned kids clothes slowly down the aisle who refuses to tell me where I could find the clothes hangers without rolling their eyes and sighing profusely and waving a flabby arm in a general direction over there like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.
 
2012-10-01 01:35:36 PM  

olddeegee: This is nothing new. Back in the 70s and 80s at Pacific Stereo we had employee "pep rallies", but most of the "pep" was actually cocaine.


Did it work?
 
2012-10-01 01:35:41 PM  
Wholefoods does this.
 
2012-10-01 01:35:41 PM  

Ordinary Genius: URAPNIS: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.

unless you need help finding something. Then they are nowhere to be found.


They are usually very enthusiastic about having no idea what you are talking about.

I had to ask one of the guys about this certain type of oil based wood finish. He didn't really know as he doesn't, you know, work with wood that much. He knew about paint; which wouldn't really look right on my dining room table.
 
2012-10-01 01:35:43 PM  
Just tell me where the Preparation-H is and then leave me alone. I didn't come into your store to be your friend.
 
2012-10-01 01:36:02 PM  
Can we cut the 'Amazing' and 'Magical' BS?

Birth of a kid, or some once in a lifetime sort of event... maybe...
But we're slapping this language on sandwiches, particle board, aluminum foil, and minimum wage jobs.

Just. Stop. It.
 
2012-10-01 01:36:04 PM  
Maybe they should really start pronouncing it "Tar-zhay."
 
2012-10-01 01:36:09 PM  
Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.
 
2012-10-01 01:37:23 PM  
I was just in Target, and my local store is not following this script. Which happies me, actually.

If you want to be successful at customer service, be around so that if I need you to answer a question, I can find you. If I don't ask you a question, leave me alone.

And yeah, more open checkout lines, plz.
 
2012-10-01 01:37:58 PM  
I'm still waiting for the audience's "yeah!" so I'm getting a kick out of these replies
 
2012-10-01 01:38:57 PM  
Welcome to the wonderful world that is retail.This is standard.

In my experience, at least, it comes down heavy from corporate, and everybody has to play along from the top on down.
 
2012-10-01 01:38:58 PM  
I do agree that lower pricing and better product selection/quality is important - but not as important as SINCERE (read: not over-zealous obsequiousness) customer service.

It's like comparing the service at Hardees to Chick Fil A...
 
2012-10-01 01:39:05 PM  

olddeegee: This is nothing new. Back in the 70s and 80s at Pacific Stereo we had employee "pep rallies", but most of the "pep" was actually cocaine.


Cocaine is one thing but I don't want the senior at the door taking Ecstasy.
 
2012-10-01 01:39:23 PM  
i171.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 01:41:18 PM  

Jamrock: Welcome to the wonderful world that is retail.This is standard.

In my experience, at least, it comes down heavy from corporate, and everybody has to play along from the top on down.


This. Just about any retail job you take will have this stuff buried somewhere in the employee manual, and featured prominently in the orientation training video that you slept through.
 
2012-10-01 01:41:23 PM  
As someone who worked in the "service industry" in the past I have to say----give the poor employees a break. It's not their idea to try and kill you with kindness, but I bet they get the boot if they're caught not doing this crap.
 
2012-10-01 01:41:40 PM  
Penis Goes WHAR?!?!? 
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-01 01:42:36 PM  
"Be sure to tell the team where they'll find the "Going The Extra Inch" board and a supply of Vibe cards..."
images.whereilive.com.au
Welcome to Target. Is that your soap on the floor..?
 
2012-10-01 01:43:59 PM  

namegoeshere: I was just in Target, and my local store is not following this script. Which happies me, actually.

If you want to be successful at customer service, be around so that if I need you to answer a question, I can find you. If I don't ask you a question, leave me alone.

And yeah, more open checkout lines, plz.


Have someone in each section ready to answer questions about that section.
Normally I get, umm I'll see if I can find someone to help you. Recently I got, umm you should ask to have someone paged for you.... Umm yeah, I'm asking you to page someone for me. Even if your just a stocker, it isn't that hard.
 
M-G
2012-10-01 01:45:29 PM  
Going the extra inch?

/giggity
 
2012-10-01 01:45:53 PM  
It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...
 
2012-10-01 01:46:09 PM  

fruitloop: [i171.photobucket.com image 638x348]




Dang it. I was searching for the pic and thought I'd check the thread first.


Don't say it!

/whisper amazing
 
2012-10-01 01:50:52 PM  
You want to know how they can compete with Amazon? Let me freaking buy my stuff online and then have it waiting for me to pickup at the store. I know that interferes with their business model of putting what I really need at the back of the store hoping I buy something else along the way with their "fun" advertising promotions, but just stop it. I buy from Amazon for convenience and not having to interact with a human to purchase tampons. Friendlier associates in counterproductive to what I want....to be in and out of a store in 5 minutes.

Best Buy has pick up in store and it is awesome. I shop there when I need stuff right away. If I can wait a few days then it is Amazon. Why other brick & mortor stores can't figure out the pick up in store option is beyond me.
 
2012-10-01 01:52:16 PM  
Somebody, somewhere is getting paid MUCH more than you to come up with utter shiat like this. Good luck with that $0.25 raise next year.
 
2012-10-01 01:52:25 PM  
A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.
 
2012-10-01 01:53:16 PM  
They won't have as many manned checkout lanes because they're trying to move you into the self-checkout lanes, which is better for their bottom lines, in the long-run.
But people would rather wait in line for a manned checkout lane.

Can we call the self-checkout a failed experiment and bury it already?
 
2012-10-01 01:54:47 PM  

PWNtheCCP: AMAZING: Currently the 2nd most overused synynom for good next to AWESOME. I'm going to start carring a pocket sized thesaurus to the store if this really happens.


My mom had only one hyperbole: "unreal". "un...real". Or, "utterly/simply/ab..so...lutely unreal" if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Yeah, this gets more than a bit repetitive.

Well, I take that back, there was one other special-purpose hyperbole: "it was like Grand Central Station!" Of course that's not good for anything but "it was high-traffic/busy", and 95% of the time it is just used to describe the volume of birds at a feeder.

I had to look this up. It's a famous commuter rail terminal station at 42nd Street and Park Avenue in Midtown Manhattan. Big tourist attraction. Fascinating. I am positive she has never been there, and find it unlikely she knows what that name refers to. 

You could just chalk it up as a meaningless idiom, and it does have a known record for use an idiom, but I'm not sure I've ever heard it from anyone else she talks with back in Plano.
 
2012-10-01 01:54:51 PM  

hailin: You want to know how they can compete with Amazon? Let me freaking buy my stuff online and then have it waiting for me to pickup at the store. I know that interferes with their business model of putting what I really need at the back of the store hoping I buy something else along the way with their "fun" advertising promotions, but just stop it. I buy from Amazon for convenience and not having to interact with a human to purchase tampons. Friendlier associates in counterproductive to what I want....to be in and out of a store in 5 minutes.

Best Buy has pick up in store and it is awesome. I shop there when I need stuff right away. If I can wait a few days then it is Amazon. Why other brick & mortor stores can't figure out the pick up in store option is beyond me.


True, dat. I'd be a huge fan of that. Hell, I'm even okay with the shipping taking a few days if it's not stocked at the local store as long as I don't have to pay for shipping.
 
2012-10-01 01:56:39 PM  
I love you too, Target.

/drtfa
 
2012-10-01 01:56:56 PM  
Here's the solution: Go out of business.
 
2012-10-01 01:58:17 PM  
Taryton: Go Fark yourself.
 
2012-10-01 02:00:20 PM  

hailin: You want to know how they can compete with Amazon? Let me freaking buy my stuff online and then have it waiting for me to pickup at the store. I know that interferes with their business model of putting what I really need at the back of the store hoping I buy something else along the way with their "fun" advertising promotions, but just stop it. I buy from Amazon for convenience and not having to interact with a human to purchase tampons. Friendlier associates in counterproductive to what I want....to be in and out of a store in 5 minutes.

Best Buy has pick up in store and it is awesome. I shop there when I need stuff right away. If I can wait a few days then it is Amazon. Why other brick & mortor stores can't figure out the pick up in store option is beyond me.


I like how some of you are getting upset about people at least trying to be friendly and helpful to you.

In the current economy, you have a shiatload of people forced into the service sector that have no clue about how to interact with a live human and provide them proper service. Target and stores like it have to start at the bottom and train them up from there. The ones that don't figure it out (and yes, there are some that don't) go away.

FYI: I shop more at Amazon.com than ever. Some things though, I want to see in person before I throw plastic at it--sorry, I just do. I did that with my exercise bike, got what I wanted and saved hundreds.
 
2012-10-01 02:00:51 PM  
Worked for Target for years. Well, was an IT manager for Mervyn's, then once Target took over DHC (on the money Mervyns's made to support Targets expansion during the 80's-90's), all IT rolled into Target Information Services.
We always referred to them as the "Big Red Sphincter".

Poisonous corporate environment. Plus, any business trips for big meetings went from going to the SF Bay area to freaking Minnenoplace. Usually in February.

Of course, they dumped Mervyn's once they sucked us dry.

/Fark them.
 
2012-10-01 02:02:01 PM  

Diogenes: Maybe they should really start pronouncing it "Tar-zhay."


I'm trying to decipher... I pronounce it with a soft g and silent t. So it sounds like a bad french accent. Is that what you are going for with Tar-zhay?
 
2012-10-01 02:02:31 PM  
Meh. Having worked at Wal-Mart during my illustrious college days, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Employees will do it for a few weeks when the boss is around, but it will soon be forgotten.

I remember Wal-Mart having "Project Sunshine" announcements when you were supposed to drop everything and ask a customer how they were doing that day. It soon stopped when us smartass employees started the "drop everything" literally.

/and yes, the legends of people doing the Wal-Mart cheer every morning are true
//wanted to run in front of them, smacking each in the face Laurel and Hardy style
 
2012-10-01 02:03:15 PM  
This kind of crap exists for one reason: retail store executives desperately wish for it to be true that you shop at store X because they're so damned helpful and friendly. They want this to be the case because it costs not one red farking cent to tell their employees to be so damned helpful and friendly. To them, this is a cheap and easy way to get ALL THE BUSINESS.

These executives DO NOT want to believe the truth: we shop at store X because we can find what we want in stock and getting in, getting it, paying, and getting out is not a complete and utter pain in the ass. They do not wish to believe this because staffing your store for this kind of shopping experience costs money. They do not want to hire a couple more people so the checkout waits are minimal. They do not want to hire a few more people to be able to point you to the artfully hidden merchandise you actually seek. They do not want to hire people to get the carts from the parking lot to the building.

All that costs money. It's cheaper and easier to believe they can make their employees be complete and utter motherfarkers of niceness and that's why you keep coming back.

In other news, a good chunk of executives are completely out of touch with reality and may in fact be unable to find their asses with both hands, a map, and a native guide.
 
2012-10-01 02:04:10 PM  
When will these stores realize that accosting the customer to greet them and ask if they need assistance is a HUGE turn off. The worst with that shiat is Best Buy, where I can't walk more than 10 feet without having 3 different employees ask me if I need any help while I'm looking. There have in fact been many instances where I've gone into a store and considered making an impulse purchase, only get get annoyed by overly aggressive associates and leave without buying anything. Help, if I need it, I'll ask for it, otherwise leave me the fark alone. Go bother the 14 year olds who clearly don't have any money and are wearing hoodies in August, those are the ones that are going to steal from you, not me.
 
2012-10-01 02:04:16 PM  
Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

www.lingeriediva.com

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...
 
2012-10-01 02:05:38 PM  
Surely this emo 16 year-old can help me pick out the best dinette set.
 
2012-10-01 02:06:22 PM  

EZ Writer: Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

[www.lingeriediva.com image 240x360]

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...


TARGET GIRL THREAD!!! GO!!!

desktop-wallpapers.net
 
2012-10-01 02:06:59 PM  
Welcome to Target. I love you.

Welcome to Gawker. I hate good customer service.
 
2012-10-01 02:07:42 PM  
It's not creepy to expect your employees to deliver good customer service. I worked in grocery stores for about 5 years in college, and I was expected to smile, greet my customers, and provide good service. And now that I'm a registered nurse I am expected to smile, greet my patients, and provide good care.

For this being a new "service based economy", the service sucks. The experience has been so bad that I've gone from shopping for fun 3-5 times a week at different stores, to shopping only for groceries and cat supplies on a weekly basis. The crappy retailers can count out at least 1 DINK couple that's not going to be good little consumerbots.


/Fighting the power, raging against machines, despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage
 
2012-10-01 02:08:17 PM  
It's out of control.

Target
Me: *walking down the paper towel aisle*
Redshirt, stopping me mid-stride: "Can I help you find something?"

Grocery store
Me: *walking down the flour/sugar/oil/cakemix/frosting aisle to get some vegetable oil*
Stocker, stopping me mid-stride: "Can I help you find something?"

Local video rental place
Me: *walking down the Russian aisle in the foreign films section*
Clerk, getting between me and the film titles: "Can I help you find something?"

Do I look either lost or illiterate, martherfarkers?

/Soon they're going to start doing it when we walk in the door.
 
2012-10-01 02:08:20 PM  
www.jeffisom.com
 
2012-10-01 02:10:05 PM  
Meh. Semi related CSB:

Was at Wal-mart yesterday. It was fairly busy, and they only had like 4 checkout lines open, so long lines were forming. People were getting annoyed, and a supervisor or someone comes around, announcing that if you don't need anything weighed, you can checkout at Electronics or the pharmacy. Some dude goes off on the supervisor, yelling "We have rights. Why aren't more checkout lines open? etc."

I know I go to Wal-mart for the cheapest prices, so in my case, I value my time pretty low, and I know what to expect when I go there. I respond to this guy: "this is what happens when you want to pay the absolute minimum for your goods"
"We have rights. The customer is always right."
"Yeah, you do have rights. You have the right to abandon your cart, head up to IGA, where'll you'll be paying 30% more, but you'll get a cashier within 2 minutes of entering a line."

I got a few nods, some scornful looks, and a perplexed look from that supervisor.
 
2012-10-01 02:10:46 PM  

EZ Writer: Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...


You have to wear pants at Target?

Nose-turnin' snobs... I'll stick with Wal Mart then.
 
2012-10-01 02:10:53 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 02:11:24 PM  
I for one hate overly chatty and friendly staff. Especially when it's blatantly obvious they're following a script. Just leave me be. If I have a question, I'll come to you, at which point nice customer service is appreciated, but quite trying to make chit chat with me about if I need help finding anything or why I'm buying what I'm buying at checkout.
 
2012-10-01 02:11:42 PM  
I don't know... She might have bought this at Target.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 02:11:47 PM  
Disneyesque?

♫ It's a small Target after all! ♫
 
2012-10-01 02:12:52 PM  
Ugh. Out of touch corporate bullshiat.
 
2012-10-01 02:13:30 PM  
l.yimg.com
 
2012-10-01 02:14:47 PM  
cbswomc2.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-01 02:16:38 PM  
So..Target has problems with shoplifters? This a common loss prevention tactic in retail. When I worked at Lowes, it was SOP to customer service the hell out of suspected shoplifters.
 
2012-10-01 02:16:43 PM  
img2.timeinc.net
 
2012-10-01 02:17:14 PM  
The employees of the super Target near me, must not have had to take this training. They don't seem to care about anything or anyone. But then they work in a store the size of a small mall. I hate the place, but my wife says she can get things there that she'd have to go to the other side of town to find otherwise. So I let her go.
 
2012-10-01 02:18:10 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Do I look either lost or illiterate, martherfarkers?


I LOVE when people ask me that. I always come out with the most stupid, nitpicky item I can find on my shopping list, and then I amp it up. If they seem nice, I play it off. If they seem drone-y, then I give them a helpful, hopeful look.

Did that in Kmart of all places last week. I was looking at buying a heavy quilt for my son and modifying it to be weighted. Nice employee says "Hey you need help?" and I said "Yes! I'm weighing these quilts by hand and I'd really like to know which one is heaviest." He looked startled and laughed and I gave him a nice smile and a bit of chit-chat. I enjoyed it and I think he enjoyed it.

My solution for getting good customer service is pay your employees more, and promote anyone who actually has a clue -- you know... The ones you keep labelling "troublemakers" and "not committed to Sparkle Motion".

Of course, I'm probably among the minority on that one...
 
2012-10-01 02:19:28 PM  
cdn04.cdn.justjared.com 

You *KNOW* you want it.
 
2012-10-01 02:19:32 PM  

Vegan Meat Popsicle: EZ Writer: Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...

You have to wear pants at Target?

Nose-turnin' snobs... I'll stick with Wal Mart then.


I thought you seemed familiar...

media.peopleofwalmart.com
 
2012-10-01 02:20:26 PM  
If by "AMAZING" they mean the pissed off black girl at the checkout that seems to be mad at me for buying something then, yeah, They're pretty "AMAZING"!
 
2012-10-01 02:20:59 PM  
bite-prod.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-10-01 02:22:31 PM  
i220.photobucket.com">Link
 
2012-10-01 02:23:26 PM  
i.cocoperez.com
 
2012-10-01 02:23:29 PM  

hdhale:
Some things though, I want to see in person before I throw plastic at it--sorry, I just do. I did that with my exercise bike, got what I wanted and saved hundreds.


You would trust a farking salesmen over a hundred online user reviews?
 
2012-10-01 02:24:21 PM  

SkylineRecords: A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.


So, lemme get this straight: If your girlfriend wants to blow you at Target, possibly spooging on her face, you aren't up for it?

\give me her number, I'll sub in...
 
2012-10-01 02:24:31 PM  

abhorrent1: If by "AMAZING" they mean the pissed off black girl at the checkout that seems to be mad at me for buying something then, yeah, They're pretty "AMAZING"!


That's just the overweight black girl default position. Target can't help that.
 
2012-10-01 02:25:08 PM  
resources3.news.com.au
 
2012-10-01 02:25:23 PM  

browntimmy: hdhale:
Some things though, I want to see in person before I throw plastic at it--sorry, I just do. I did that with my exercise bike, got what I wanted and saved hundreds.

You would trust a farking salesmen over a hundred online user reviews?


Some of it is personal preference. I like reading the bad reviews to see if the complaints are about things I don't care about. Then there's feel, size, weight, etc. Some stuff works better in person. Some I don't care about.
 
2012-10-01 02:26:27 PM  
a.markosweb.com
 
2012-10-01 02:26:33 PM  

hailin: You want to know how they can compete with Amazon? Let me freaking buy my stuff online and then have it waiting for me to pickup at the store. I know that interferes with their business model of putting what I really need at the back of the store hoping I buy something else along the way with their "fun" advertising promotions, but just stop it. I buy from Amazon for convenience and not having to interact with a human to purchase tampons. Friendlier associates in counterproductive to what I want....to be in and out of a store in 5 minutes.

Best Buy has pick up in store and it is awesome. I shop there when I need stuff right away. If I can wait a few days then it is Amazon. Why other brick & mortor stores can't figure out the pick up in store option is beyond me.


I don't get this. What's so embarrassing about tampons and condoms? I buy toilet paper all the time and the cashier knows that's going directly onto my ass.
 
2012-10-01 02:28:32 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-01 02:29:53 PM  

moothemagiccow: I don't get this. What's so embarrassing about tampons and condoms? I buy toilet paper all the time and the cashier knows that's going directly onto my ass.



Exactly.  Hell, I'm a guy and I've bought them for my wife while shopping alone.  Never felt embarassed.  And If I didn't know where they were, I wouldn't be embarassed to ask someone on the floor.
 
Periods are kinda part of life.  And people shop for their SO's all the time.
 
2012-10-01 02:30:12 PM  
You have thought by now there'd be some hip corporate training program that recognized that the Happy Smile Time pitch never worked and to stop assuming your employees are morons with no sense of dignity. Sure, you're working at Target or Taco Bell or some other dead-end job, but that doesn't mean you're just excited to be there, Stan!
 
2012-10-01 02:30:42 PM  

Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...



How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...
 
2012-10-01 02:31:23 PM  
Back when I had these kinds of jobs, I had fun by saying precisely what I was told to say. Like, not adjust it to the situation but just repeat it - friendly but rote. Confused the hell out of the poor customers.

/good times
 
2012-10-01 02:32:21 PM  

gingerjet: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up


Yes, but I noticed they also added the check-cashing ATMs around the same time. Still farked when I have to go in to get quarters tho. Was waiting in line once and some 20-year old manager walks up, shakes my hand and starts talking about the weather. Confused the fark out of me.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:41 PM  

jicon: Can we cut the 'Amazing' and 'Magical' BS?

Birth of a kid, or some once in a lifetime sort of event... maybe...


You have never seen a woman give birth.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:56 PM  
sonotretail.com
 
2012-10-01 02:33:49 PM  

WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.


This is the exact reason I stopped shopping at Macy's.
 
2012-10-01 02:33:51 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...


How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...


Yeah, you get to a point where you're just wasting it if you keep packing. Go bite your nails or something.
 
2012-10-01 02:34:00 PM  

BMFPitt: Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.


Because its really hard to say no thanks, I don't need any help.

I understand that getting bugged several times in a few minutes is annoying, but I'd rather that than trying to hunt someone down for 20 when I have a question, and then getting an indifferent grunt when I finally find someone
 
2012-10-01 02:35:05 PM  

SkylineRecords: Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities


One of the things that working in the service industry teaches you is the disturbing fact that there are a large percentage of people out there who go shopping or go out to eat not because they want to buy something they need or eat something they enjoy, but because they want to interact with people in the service industry.

It may seem completely insane to sane people, but there are a shocking number of sad, lonely people who need this kind of fake sincerity. It's why these companies do sh*t like this.
 
2012-10-01 02:35:50 PM  
cbsb96radio.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-01 02:36:55 PM  

Bathysphere: Wholefoods does this.



Most modern companies do something like this. There's nothing wrong with it, really. What are they going to do, throw them out there with no direction? Not try and train them to be helpful and serve the customers in as engaging an environment as possible?

Most of the people taking front-line shelf stocking and customer servicing roles like the ones this training is for are being paid shiat wages - these are not positions making $85,000 a year, ya know? And if you're paying people shiat wages across the board you're going to get a good number of them who are going to need some basic guidance, and some other amount may even be surly. For the ones who don't need to be told to try and be helpful and friendly it's not going to hurt them. For the ones who need it they're never going to absorb 100% of the training and become a full-on Target-bot... you can hope they absorb 40% of it and simply become pleasant for your customers to deal with.

And for a company to compete in the marketplace it's kind of a no-brainer that you'd want your employees to be as friendly and engaging as possible.

I do very strongly dislike being pandered to by some poor drone who is being forced by their corporate overlords, but I can't really blame the employee for doing it, nor the company for asking for it. That's just the world we've created. A polite, "No thank you, I'm fine" is all you need to free them from having to suck up to you and everyone is fine.
 
2012-10-01 02:36:59 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...


How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...


Ever been so stoned that you're lying on the floor, and you can't get up, because the room is spinning waaaaaay too fast?

\that's "too stoned"
 
2012-10-01 02:37:46 PM  

UncleStumpy: BMFPitt: Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.

Because its really hard to say no thanks, I don't need any help.

I understand that getting bugged several times in a few minutes is annoying, but I'd rather that than trying to hunt someone down for 20 when I have a question, and then getting an indifferent grunt when I finally find someone


Balance is a good thing. Most retail stores' employees try to be helpful, but unobtrusive. But not so much in restaurants anymore. The staff bugs the piss out of you, interrupting your meal every two minutes to make sure you're having some sort of life altering experience. Go the hell away already and let me eat.
 
2012-10-01 02:39:08 PM  

fruitloop: [i171.photobucket.com image 638x348]



Leaving satisfied. A-MA-ZIIIIIIIING!
 
2012-10-01 02:39:44 PM  
It beats Walmart's employee script: "Hey, Lady, can you spare some change?"

/Fortunate enough to be snobby enough to shop at Tar-zhay rather than Target.
//Even more fortunate to be snobby enough to not have to shop at Walmart.
 
2012-10-01 02:41:21 PM  
img3.allvoices.com
 
2012-10-01 02:42:00 PM  
cdn1.gossipcenter.com
 
2012-10-01 02:43:25 PM  

URAPNIS: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.


Really? My experience at Home Depot has been its next to impossible to find someone, and when you do, they say something like "I think its down aisle 20, or maybe 23. Its down that way." and then they walk away without making eye contact.
 
2012-10-01 02:43:43 PM  
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2012-10-01 02:44:23 PM  
t6ak.roblox.com

All I could think of after reading subby's headline.
 
2012-10-01 02:45:56 PM  
The downfall of our society is evidenced by the fact that we have to have intensive, detailed, month long or more training sessions and scripts to follow, for simple niceness and common courtesy.
 
2012-10-01 02:46:27 PM  
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 
2012-10-01 02:47:45 PM  
BMFPitt:

Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.

But why, when they can pay people to roam the store acting friendly & helpful?

When a store employee asks me such questions it sounds like they think I'm a shoplifter. That was originally the idea back in the '70s: be "helpful" with people who look "iffy," let them know you're watching them. So it's a big temptation to reply "I don't shoplift. Now fark off."

At Wal-Mart not long ago I asked a young guy who was stocking shelves in the cleaning products aisle where Wal-Mart puts vacuum cleaner bags. So he stopped what he was doing and led me across the store to the vacuum cleaner aisle. It seemed unnecessary when he could have just said "Here they're with the vacuum cleaners." I could have found those by myself then.

By the way, I'd have never thought of that. So then the laundry detergent should be with the washing machines and the Ty-D Bowl with the toilets, right? But where would they put the underwear?
 
2012-10-01 02:48:15 PM  
a.abcnews.com
 
2012-10-01 02:48:44 PM  
Considering I only step into a Target or Wal-Mart for completely mundane household items like bath towels or bed sheets, I should really test their new customer service strategy to the limits.

"So, I see this is 400 thread count, but THIS one is 500. Can you please take turns draping both over you on the floor, and I'll lay on you to see if I can feel the 100 thread difference?"
 
2012-10-01 02:49:56 PM  

ChipNASA: [wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net image 630x420]


Ha ha ha
 
2012-10-01 02:51:00 PM  
SkylineRecords:

A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

No, that's disgusting

I prefer to keep a tissue handy if she doesn't want cum in her mouth.
 
2012-10-01 02:51:06 PM  

sigdiamond2000: SkylineRecords: Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities

One of the things that working in the service industry teaches you is the disturbing fact that there are a large percentage of people out there who go shopping or go out to eat not because they want to buy something they need or eat something they enjoy, but because they want to interact with people in the service industry.

It may seem completely insane to sane people, but there are a shocking number of sad, lonely people who need this kind of fake sincerity. It's why these companies do sh*t like this.


That is farking scary. That's literally, "shop here, we'll be your best friend..."
 
2012-10-01 02:51:29 PM  

The One True TheDavid: At Wal-Mart not long ago I asked a young guy who was stocking shelves in the cleaning products aisle where Wal-Mart puts vacuum cleaner bags. So he stopped what he was doing and led me across the store to the vacuum cleaner aisle. It seemed unnecessary when he could have just said "Here they're with the vacuum cleaners." I could have found those by myself then.


I think they're told to do that, btw. I've had it happen a couple times with various different stores/companies. I always feel a right tit following after them, especially when it's across the darn store. It's helpful in Home Depot though, because what I want is frequently on the bottom shelf hidden behind 3 other things.
 
2012-10-01 02:51:53 PM  
hey don't pig pile on this - it gives someones drunken good for nothing brother in law a freaking job, gets his sister off her husbands back, employs printers and video companies. to say nothing of the shipping and other ancillary costs of producing crap this program. It's the adult equivalent of those $3.95 toys that hang in a bag in the grocery store.

Yeah your capitalization, apostrophe, and other nit picky crap, it's kissin my ass. I'm sick as a dog and still compelled to comment so take you nazi and jam it. All I want from you is a hearty "Wilco"
 
2012-10-01 02:56:51 PM  

UncleStumpy: BMFPitt: Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.

Because its really hard to say no thanks, I don't need any help.

I understand that getting bugged several times in a few minutes is annoying, but I'd rather that than trying to hunt someone down for 20 when I have a question, and then getting an indifferent grunt when I finally find someone


These happy helpers are typically 16 year-olds making minimum wage with no aspirations of working there more than 2 years tops. if you're expecting more out of them than finding out what aisle something is in or if there's any more in the back you're living in phony make-believe land.
 
2012-10-01 02:59:49 PM  
My daughter is a clone of April from Community and works at Target in "guest services". I cannot wait to see what she thinks of this.
 
2012-10-01 03:00:14 PM  

WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.


They actually started this shiat at our local store about eight months ago after a remodel. Suddenly, all of the little redshirts are running up to you like a puppy that got loose at the mill, desperate for attention, begging to do something for you today.

No, kid, there's nothing you can do for me today. Go away. I actually know this store better than you do.
 
2012-10-01 03:02:03 PM  

The One True TheDavid: At Wal-Mart not long ago I asked a young guy who was stocking shelves in the cleaning products aisle where Wal-Mart puts vacuum cleaner bags. So he stopped what he was doing and led me across the store to the vacuum cleaner aisle. It seemed unnecessary when he could have just said "Here they're with the vacuum cleaners." I could have found those by myself then.


I feel bad when a clerk has to lead me halfway across the store to find something I'm looking for. Dude, you're busy and this is obviously your section. I don't want to take you from your job where you're going to get yelled at for not finishing something fast enough. Just tell me which aisle and I'll find it myself.

Target already had the right idea w/the customer service phones all over the place. I can't find something, I just pick it up & call. I prefer that method to somebody bugging me while I'm trying to decide what color lipstick to buy or which brand of dog food my picky dog might eat this week. Sometimes I just like to wander to see what there is to see. Don't harass me when I'm shopping.
 
2012-10-01 03:02:28 PM  
I would prefer they offer me an Andy Kaufman moment.
 
2012-10-01 03:02:37 PM  
They just opened a Target downtown here, so the boyfriend and I stopped by to check it out, then came back a week or so later to pick up a cat carrier. Nobody acknowledged us until we reached the register. I'm okay with them not changing that formula.
 
2012-10-01 03:05:48 PM  
Cheri Pi:

It's not creepy to expect your employees to deliver good customer service. I worked in grocery stores for about 5 years in college, and I was expected to smile, greet my customers, and provide good service. And now that I'm a registered nurse I am expected to smile, greet my patients, and provide good care.

The creepy part is the Smiling & Greeting. If you really feel like it that's fine, but I don't pick a hospital based on the friendliness of its nursing staff either. Asking how I feel is a good thing in that context, and if you're wearing a name tag I'll read it, otherwise skipping straight to the "good care" part is just fine.
 
2012-10-01 03:06:06 PM  

SkylineRecords: That is farking scary. That's literally, "shop here, we'll be your best friend..."


No, it's pretty normal. When I worked at a grocery store they told us to be friendly to senior citizens that we might see very regularly... it's not unusual for older folks who don't get out much to go to stores like that every day or two just to get out of the house and socialize. They said to be friendly and courteous, but try not to let them keep us from getting work done. It's more a response to an existing situation than enticing septuagenarians into the store by promising new friends.

IMO, that's a little different from projects like that in TFA, where they're trying to drum up business by being conspicuously friendly instead of just being a store that isn't a pain in the ass to deal with because it's cheaper to tell your employees to care than to just hire more employees.
 
2012-10-01 03:07:01 PM  

gingerjet: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up


THIS! It's the one thing I hate most about Wells-Fargo, I hate going into one of their branches where I get accosted by 'niceness' from the moment I step in the door -- actually I think the word I'm looking for is obsequiousness -- , but sometimes I have to since that's where my money is...
 
2012-10-01 03:07:40 PM  
demaL-demaL-yeH:


/Soon they're going to start doing it when we walk in the door.

They do that with me if that's where they see me first.

"Please direct me to whatever's easieast to shoplift?"
 
2012-10-01 03:07:41 PM  
"Welcome to Tarzhey Boutique, monsieur. Today vee are runninng ze speciall on the Keebler Filet Mignon Crackerstm. Would zhou like to try a sampell? No? Vere are you goingk monsieur?"
 
2012-10-01 03:08:37 PM  

The One True TheDavid: SkylineRecords:

A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

No, that's disgusting. 

I prefer to keep a tissue handy if she doesn't want cum in her mouth.


Prude.
 
2012-10-01 03:09:36 PM  
Do you want your employees to be cheerful and full of pep?

Hire the ones who are cheerful in the interview.

The problem is that it takes one to know one, and when you have soulless HR drones doing interviews, they won't recognize cheerfulness if it walked up to them and kissed them on the nose.
 
2012-10-01 03:11:20 PM  

The One True TheDavid: SkylineRecords:

A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

No, that's disgusting. 

I prefer to keep a tissue handy if she doesn't want cum in her mouth.


Awwww... what a gentleman you are.
 
2012-10-01 03:13:12 PM  
If you are against good customer service then I am against you. I like Target. I like friendly people.
 
2012-10-01 03:16:19 PM  

mongbiohazard: Most modern companies do something like this. There's nothing wrong with it, really. What are they going to do, throw them out there with no direction? Not try and train them to be helpful and serve the customers in as engaging an environment as possible?



I have no opinion in the matter, but when I was hired as a stock boy at a grocery store, I had no training in customer service.  Just told to memorize where everything was in the store ASAP.
 
2012-10-01 03:17:58 PM  

gingerjet: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up


Yep yep. Last week I went to my Wells Fargo to deposit five checks totalling about $9500. The teller did the whole song and dance friendly perky customer service... while making a $5000 arithmetic error. I only caught it as I was walking out the door and double checking my receipt.

Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass it would have been to track down the check she missed, get it reissued, and then redeposited?! For fark's sake people, spare me the niceness onslaught and do your frakking job!
 
2012-10-01 03:18:15 PM  
sigdiamond2000:

It may seem completely insane to sane people, but there are a shocking number of sad, lonely people who need this kind of fake sincerity. It's why these companies do sh*t like this.

I'm a sad lonely person who doesn't need fake sincerity. My dog will always love me, even if the ex who keeps him got over me years ago. (Apartments that do accept pets want a big fee for it.)

An occasional blowjob would be nice, but I don't the service provider to pretend she really loves her job or my willy is so big or anything like that. So if Target set up glory holes they'd see much more of me, even if I had to use a loyalty card and pay a special surcharge.
 
2012-10-01 03:21:25 PM  
mongbiohazard:

A polite, "No thank you, I'm fine" is all you need to free them from having to suck up to you and everyone is fine.

I should wear that on a T-shirt in letters so big I don't have to point to it.

"NO THANKS I DON'T NEED HELP."
 
2012-10-01 03:21:44 PM  

SkylineRecords: A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.


Actually, by your definition, I wouldn't mind having a moment and being amazed at Target.

/Which Target does your gf work at?
 
2012-10-01 03:22:42 PM  

stewmadness: If you are against good customer service then I am against you. I like Target. I like friendly people.


Good customer service is, "You can find that in aisle 5". But you go on pretending the 16 year old emo kid is overjoyed to meet you.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:06 PM  

brigid_fitch: I feel bad when a clerk has to lead me halfway across the store to find something I'm looking for. Dude, you're busy and this is obviously your section. I don't want to take you from your job where you're going to get yelled at for not finishing something fast enough. Just tell me which aisle and I'll find it myself.


Had this issue trying to find some quick motor oil at a Harris Teeter I hadn't previously been in... I looked everywhere, couldn't find it... Finally stopped and asked someone and felt so bad about stopping him from what he was doing to help me find something. So, he starts going through the same isles I had previously looked through (I'm thinking 'godammit, if it was right in front of me!') and neither could he find it. We went through every isle, again; laughing at this point... and he finally spots the motor oil. Next to the pampers.

Motor oil... baby supplies... there's a joke there.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:27 PM  

akula: IMO, that's a little different from projects like that in TFA, where they're trying to drum up business by being conspicuously friendly instead of just being a store that isn't a pain in the ass to deal with because it's cheaper to tell your employees to care than to just hire more employees.


That's a very key difference. My husband worked for Pathmark in the late 90s when they had a major change in upper management. They went from streamlined to a more customer-service oriented model which worked quite well. If a customer wanted to know if a bakery item was any good, the employees were to offer a sample. They were encouraged to special-order items for customers when asked and to keep an ear out for items they didn't ask for. And they were told to treat the customers as though they had just gotten off work and were just looking to get shiat done before heading home--because that's what 90% of the customers were. It worked tremendously and it was actually a fun place to shop. Nobody harassed you and when you did have a question, they bent over backwards to help you. Then a new CEO came along and went back to the original model, but that's another story.

The difference between what Pathmark did & what Target is doing is the script the latter is pushing. The introduction of "vibe cards" and "amazing moment opportunities" instead of just letting the employees use common sense. If you need to brainwash your employees into being friendly and helpful, there's something much bigger wrong with your business and/or hiring model that a catchy little marketing ploy isn't going to help.
 
2012-10-01 03:25:47 PM  
I'm the first person to say "Don't try to be my friend" (Hell, I even told a worker at Sears once to stop using my first name because they didn't know me)...but the presentation in the article is no big deal. The only examples shown there are saying "Hi" as you pass a customer, and asking "Can I help you find something?" BFD.

Lighten up, Francis'
 
2012-10-01 03:26:03 PM  

jeanwearinfool: SkylineRecords: A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.

Actually, by your definition, I wouldn't mind having a moment and being amazed at Target.

/Which Target does your gf work at?


She doesn't work at Target, so everyone stop calling!
 
2012-10-01 03:26:05 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...


How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...


When you smoke so much weed you end up at Target.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:46 PM  
i168.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 03:29:27 PM  
Something about Target just bothers me...I don't know what it is. Oh wait yes I do. I'll be buying 3 items and they have 3 regular lanes open 5 people deep, with no express lanes open. Lady will holler on her radio for more help, but nobody ever shows up. Or the fact that the quality of the items aren't any different than anywhere else. Everything electric or electronic I have purchased from Target I have had to return either because it was defective out of the package, or broke in a few months. People complain that Walmart is bad, but mine always has enough lanes open, and I've only had to return a coffee maker once.

And why no in-store pick-up option? Walmart does it (and is actually handled very well), and even Kmart has a store-pickup option for crying out loud. Put the counter in the back of the store if you want people to wander through a bunch of china crap if you are worried about that aspect.

I'm pretty much anti-social as it is, and I don't need fake niceness either, or people following me around like I'm a crook. I know how to walk around a store on my own (and actually, while doing so, I may see something else I may impulsively buy...duh!). It's a generic retail store, and companies don't seem to realize they really aren't different than anyone else. If I'm at a restaurant, I expect the server to be friendly and prompt. I don't need that in a self-service store (except the cashier should say Hello and Thank You).. If I wanted personal service, I would go to Neiman Marcus.

If only Amazon would open retail/pickup stores....Target would be screwed.
 
2012-10-01 03:29:31 PM  

The One True TheDavid: sigdiamond2000:

It may seem completely insane to sane people, but there are a shocking number of sad, lonely people who need this kind of fake sincerity. It's why these companies do sh*t like this.

I'm a sad lonely person who doesn't need fake sincerity. My dog will always love me, even if the ex who keeps him got over me years ago. (Apartments that do accept pets want a big fee for it.).


thumbnails.hulu.com

/You shoulda cum in her mouth... probably
 
2012-10-01 03:29:38 PM  
i.ytimg.com

bizarro i love you bizarro
 
2012-10-01 03:33:45 PM  

The One True TheDavid: An occasional blowjob would be nice, but I don't the service provider to pretend she really loves her job or my willy is so big or anything like that. So if Target set up glory holes they'd see much more of me, even if I had to use a loyalty card and pay a special surcharge.


Target will not be the first company to do this, they'll just be the first company to introduce it at mass market prices in an environment that makes soccer moms feel comfortable.
 
2012-10-01 03:37:02 PM  
You know, you could just not be a raging prick and say "No, I don't need any help, thank you."

Then understand that when you go shopping, you may have to wait in line, deal with other people, accept the fact that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs.

What's funny is that the same people who complain about waiting in line often stare slack-jawed at the nutrition facts on a bag of cheetos for 20 minutes, preventing other people from shopping or employees from working.

Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.
 
2012-10-01 03:42:58 PM  
I can't stand the use of the word "guest" over "customer". One of my kids worked at Target and got called on the carpet for using "the c word".

What the fark?
 
2012-10-01 03:45:46 PM  
The comments from TFA are why I hate working with customers. Because customers, on the whole, are assholes.

"I don't see any problem here. Is it now "torture" to train employees to be polite to customers and try to give them a positive experience when shopping at your store?"

"Yes, let's mock them for actually trying to promote good customer service in their stores. The monsters!"

"As crappy and lame as it all sounds, I wonder what the people in the "Unemployment Stories" series would think about a job like this. "

Fark these people right in the ear.
 
2012-10-01 03:48:21 PM  

brigid_fitch: And they were told to treat the customers as though they had just gotten off work and were just looking to get shiat done before heading home--because that's what 90% of the customers were.


BRILLIANT.

Too bad most executives can't admit that people don't come to store X just to be at store X. Store X is a means to an end- obtaining the products that are sold there. The more store X can help people get the products they want, the easier life will be for their shoppers. Instead, they try to make shopping at store X some kind of experience as though obtaining the products sold are just an irrelevance.

When I go to Walmart, Target, or wherever, I'm not there because I get warm fuzzy feelings from being there. It's because I want what is sold there. Trying to push some kind of undesired experience on the shopper is destined to fail because that's not what the shopper actually wants.
 
2012-10-01 03:48:59 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: I can't stand the use of the word "guest" over "customer". One of my kids worked at Target and got called on the carpet for using "the c word".

What the fark?


Wait... "customer"... or the actual "c word"?

cause there's a difference.
 
2012-10-01 03:49:53 PM  
Worked at a home depot in the hardware department many moons ago. Before my first day, I wondered what the hell I would be doing all day. I figured most people know what they want, and you could just point them to the product, and let them get on their way.

Not even close. 90% of the customers want to be led around by the hand. And talk, and talk, and talk, and talk some more.

Biggest surprise? The guys are the chatty ones. I guess they needed some male bonding or some such crap. 

Oh, and you anti-social basement dwellers with the cheeto stained fingers who just wanted to be left alone? You're easy to spot, and we left you alone.

I have noticed they are a bit more aggresive now at HD then they were when I worked there, but I prefer that to spending 10 minutes trying to hunt one down. A simple "no thanks, I'm fine" and they just move on.
 
2012-10-01 03:50:23 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: I can't stand the use of the word "guest" over "customer". One of my kids worked at Target and got called on the carpet for using "the c word".

What the fark?


That pisses me off too. I worked at a Menard's (hardware store), and the guy training me said, "We don't call them customers. We call them 'guests'. We want to make them feel at home, like they can come on in any time." You've got to be a nominee for "World's Biggest Tool" if you try feed me that horse sh*t and legitimately expect me to agree.
 
2012-10-01 03:50:39 PM  

nickeyx:
Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.


Congratulations on missing the entire point of the thread. We know they're not trying to be our friend, that's why it's a stupid policy that they force them to pretend.
 
2012-10-01 03:50:59 PM  
CSB:

A million years ago when I was 19, I worked at Denny's for about 2 days. I quit after 2 days because they literally wanted me to memorize the "Denny's Dogma". Seriously. Dogma is not a word I would ever use in the same sentence as "Denny's". Plus the manager seemed to be embalmed without knowing it. Smelled like a mix of cigarettes, formaldehyde and bug spray.

End CSB

/also couldn't wear any make up, or nail polish
//c'mon, this was Denny's for Christ's sake, not The Four Seasons!
 
2012-10-01 03:52:36 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Dancin_In_Anson: I can't stand the use of the word "guest" over "customer". One of my kids worked at Target and got called on the carpet for using "the c word".

What the fark?

Wait... "customer"... or the actual "c word"?

cause there's a difference.


A coworker's cousin was sent home from the Cracker Barrel kitchen because they felt his ear gauge was not "country fresh".
 
2012-10-01 03:53:19 PM  

BMFPitt: Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience: Don't bother me unless I come to you first. Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.


Exactly; this is why Amazon.com is beating stores like Target. I type in what I want, and if they have it in stock, it pops up on my screen. I check out immediately and go about my life -- especially with Amazon Prime, which I was converted to by Fark.

If I am in a store like Target, I want to buy a bunch of crap for my house like cat litter and cleaning supplies and aluminum foil as quickly and cheaply as possible. I don't want to make friends, I don't want to chat, and i don't think I am a "guest." I'm a customer in a store and I just want to buy the necessities and carry on with my life. Odds are I just worked 8-9 hours, plus the commute time, and would really like to get home, make dinner and maybe watch some TV with my boyfriend before we pass out for the night and do it all again the next day.

Hence, why Amazon.com is doing so well. I did virtually all my Christmas shopping there last year and probably will do the same thing again this year. It's easier, nobody bothers me, and most importantly, it saves a lot of time.
 
2012-10-01 03:54:56 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Wait... "customer"... or the actual "c word"?

cause there's a difference.



Customer.

SkylineRecords: That pisses me off too. I worked at a Menard's (hardware store), and the guy training me said, "We don't call them customers. We call them 'guests'. We want to make them feel at home, like they can come on in any time." You've got to be a nominee for "World's Biggest Tool" if you try feed me that horse sh*t and legitimately expect me to agree.


You invite a guest to come in and take your shiat and leave. You ask a customer to come in and give you their money. A very important distinction in business.
 
2012-10-01 03:55:55 PM  

nickeyx: You know, you could just not be a raging prick and say "No, I don't need any help, thank you."

Then understand that when you go shopping, you may have to wait in line, deal with other people, accept the fact that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs.

What's funny is that the same people who complain about waiting in line often stare slack-jawed at the nutrition facts on a bag of cheetos for 20 minutes, preventing other people from shopping or employees from working.

Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.


Do you have any farking idea just how much shelf space Frito-Lay rents?

/"No, thanks." or "I'm fine." are my usual responses.
//But if you stop/block/accost me three times in twenty meters on my way to the back corner of the store to get milk, you're playing games and asking for a stiffarm.
 
2012-10-01 03:56:00 PM  

browntimmy: nickeyx:
Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.

Congratulations on missing the entire point of the thread. We know they're not trying to be our friend, that's why it's a stupid policy that they force them to pretend.


Congratulations on being exactly what I'm talking about.
 
2012-10-01 03:56:11 PM  
Accessories for my iPad at Target: $71.

Same accessories for my iPad on Amazon: $31 shipped.

An "amazing" experience at Target isn't going to make me spend double of what something costs.
 
2012-10-01 03:58:28 PM  

nickeyx: browntimmy: nickeyx:
Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.

Congratulations on missing the entire point of the thread. We know they're not trying to be our friend, that's why it's a stupid policy that they force them to pretend.

Congratulations on being exactly what I'm talking about.


Got it. You'd rather interact with phonies and corporate drones than actual human beings with individual thoughts and personalities.
 
2012-10-01 03:59:09 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: nickeyx: You know, you could just not be a raging prick and say "No, I don't need any help, thank you."

Then understand that when you go shopping, you may have to wait in line, deal with other people, accept the fact that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs.

What's funny is that the same people who complain about waiting in line often stare slack-jawed at the nutrition facts on a bag of cheetos for 20 minutes, preventing other people from shopping or employees from working.

Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.

Do you have any farking idea just how much shelf space Frito-Lay rents?

/"No, thanks." or "I'm fine." are my usual responses.
//But if you stop/block/accost me three times in twenty meters on my way to the back corner of the store to get milk, you're playing games and asking for a stiffarm.



I'd guarantee a lot, but those types tend to take up at least 6-8 feet of shelf space with their cart, jazzy scooter, 3 or 4 screaming children, and hopeless spouse.

If they're doing that, their sexually frustrated manager is probably micro-managing the shiat out of them in-between their cigarette breaks.
 
2012-10-01 04:00:42 PM  
As a survivor of the Carl's Jr. "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face"
marketing campaign of 20 years ago, I am laughing a subtle and sarcastic laugh right now. Yes, we were expected to use the phrase seriously, use it as a condiment philosophy (drowning everybody's orders in shiatty sauce whether they like it or not), and shout it excitedly at the end of staff metings with the district manager. He went away somewhat disappointed, but the business is sill there and doing just fine without that particular BS.
 
2012-10-01 04:01:42 PM  

browntimmy: nickeyx: browntimmy: nickeyx:
Get over yourself. When they say hello, or ask if you need help, it wouldn't kill you to be farking polite. They're not trying to be your friend, they're trying to not get fired.

Congratulations on missing the entire point of the thread. We know they're not trying to be our friend, that's why it's a stupid policy that they force them to pretend.

Congratulations on being exactly what I'm talking about.

Got it. You'd rather interact with phonies and corporate drones than actual human beings with individual thoughts and personalities.


Either that, or I understand that the "corporate drone" is actually a human being with a personality doing what they have to do to earn a living.

If that's how you categorize people, I assume you must work for some sort of large company with scripted greetings.
 
2012-10-01 04:04:11 PM  

nickeyx: I'd guarantee a lot, but those types tend to take up at least 6-8 feet of shelf space with their cart, jazzy scooter, 3 or 4 screaming children, and hopeless spouse.

If they're doing that, their sexually frustrated manager is probably micro-managing the shiat out of them in-between their cigarette breaks.


I find that an "Excuse me." followed by a "Thank you." after they scoot out of the way works every single time in that situation.

/Hasn't failed me yet.
 
2012-10-01 04:04:38 PM  

nickeyx: Either that, or I understand that the "corporate drone" is actually a human being with a personality doing what they have to do to earn a living.

If that's how you categorize people, I assume you must work for some sort of large company with scripted greetings.


Again, you're missing the main point. The beef is not with the people as much as it is the company requiring them to do it.
 
2012-10-01 04:05:08 PM  

Bathysphere: Wholefoods does this.


Whole foods is a farking cult based on food paranoia, and centered around the time honored business ideal of extracting maximum funds from the customer based mostly on food paranoia bullshiat, while also paying employees as little as possible, also based mostly on bullshiat.
 
2012-10-01 04:07:55 PM  

SkylineRecords: I worked at a Menard's (hardware store), and the guy training me said, "We don't call them customers. We call them 'guests'. We want to make them feel at home, like they can come on in any time." You've got to be a nominee for "World's Biggest Tool" if you try feed me that horse sh*t and legitimately expect me to agree.


Damn skippy.

I *know* I'm welcome in retail establishments during regular business hours. It's because I have some got-damned money and might trade some for some of the products offered for sale in the establishment. I don't give a shiat whether you call me a customer, guest, or whatever the hell else so long as it isn't profane. I KNOW you want me in there... you wouldn't run a damn store if you didn't like people walking in to spend money.

Instead of thinking up new things to call me and people like me, why not spend that time thinking up what I might like to buy and how you can simplify the process of me doing exactly that?
 
2012-10-01 04:11:29 PM  

Liz Lemon: CSB:

A million years ago when I was 19, I worked at Denny's for about 2 days. I quit after 2 days because they literally wanted me to memorize the "Denny's Dogma". Seriously. Dogma is not a word I would ever use in the same sentence as "Denny's". Plus the manager seemed to be embalmed without knowing it. Smelled like a mix of cigarettes, formaldehyde and bug spray.

End CSB

/also couldn't wear any make up, or nail polish
//c'mon, this was Denny's for Christ's sake, not The Four Seasons!


I imagine the Denny's Dogma goes something like this;

Come forth, shiatty 16-year-old kids. Order coffee and smoke menthol cigarettes for 3.5 hours in a party of 8. Tip whatever you feel is adequate on an 18-hour per week grocery bagger salary.

Join us, 4 fat people who just attended a metal show, and bathe our booth seats in the musk of your combined mosh pit sweat.

Did somebody just make eyes at your ugly, saggy-bodied girlfriend? Maybe, but you're not really sure? Them's fightin' words here at Denny's. Consider us your arena to settle this out, old-fashioned!

Do you like your eggs runny? So do we. Do you like your ham to have the consistency of a handful of unwrapped condoms? Us too!

We know exactly how you want your meal; dropped a couple of inches in front of you by a sh*tty waitress (even by waitress standards) with deep-seated self-esteem issues. That's the Denny's Dogma.
 
2012-10-01 04:11:47 PM  
In one retail shop I worked, when sales were low, the bosses came in and checked out the store, often they would move items around. One day a boss came in, moved a bunch of items around, and told us how it would make sales go up. Two hours later, another boss arrived, he suggested *suprise* we move a few items around. Me, being the smart-ass I am, suggested moving all the items back to where they were before the first boss came in. Being that he didn't know anything about the first boss coming in, he still gave me the "THIS is how we want the store to look for you to be successful here" speech.


It's strange how none of these assholes will ever admit: sometimes,sales go down, naturally, no matter what you do. Unless your selling oil or pussy; demand (thus sales) sometimes goes down, and even those two industries have some flux. But if you bring this up to someone working for a major corporation in middle/upper management, they look at you like your from Mars or something....because anything other than the 'I love selling widgets and will sell more widgets every minute I breathe' corporate philosophy is seen as blasphemy.
/drones
 
2012-10-01 04:11:56 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: nickeyx: I'd guarantee a lot, but those types tend to take up at least 6-8 feet of shelf space with their cart, jazzy scooter, 3 or 4 screaming children, and hopeless spouse.

If they're doing that, their sexually frustrated manager is probably micro-managing the shiat out of them in-between their cigarette breaks.

I find that an "Excuse me." followed by a "Thank you." after they scoot out of the way works every single time in that situation.

/Hasn't failed me yet.


I like to just come back later. There are probably other things I need nearby in the mean time. It's not something that actually bothers me, I was just using it to illustrate a point.

browntimmy: nickeyx: Either that, or I understand that the "corporate drone" is actually a human being with a personality doing what they have to do to earn a living.

If that's how you categorize people, I assume you must work for some sort of large company with scripted greetings.

Again, you're missing the main point. The beef is not with the people as much as it is the company requiring them to do it.


I get that. I also get that the customer's sentiment is often misplaced onto the employees in lieu of the douche bags in corporate.

Someone's super uppity.
 
2012-10-01 04:17:40 PM  
I noticed at my local Target store that the old and fugly female employees wear button-up collar shirts (and guys too), while the young, attractive female employees wear rather low cut t-shirts with their boobs practically falling out.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:11 PM  

ChipNASA: EZ Writer: Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

[www.lingeriediva.com image 240x360]

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...

TARGET GIRL THREAD!!! GO!!!

[desktop-wallpapers.net image 800x600]


Our tax dollars at work!
 
2012-10-01 04:19:34 PM  

SkylineRecords: Liz Lemon: CSB:

A million years ago when I was 19, I worked at Denny's for about 2 days. I quit after 2 days because they literally wanted me to memorize the "Denny's Dogma". Seriously. Dogma is not a word I would ever use in the same sentence as "Denny's". Plus the manager seemed to be embalmed without knowing it. Smelled like a mix of cigarettes, formaldehyde and bug spray.

End CSB

/also couldn't wear any make up, or nail polish
//c'mon, this was Denny's for Christ's sake, not The Four Seasons!

I imagine the Denny's Dogma goes something like this;

Come forth, shiatty 16-year-old kids. Order coffee and smoke menthol cigarettes for 3.5 hours in a party of 8. Tip whatever you feel is adequate on an 18-hour per week grocery bagger salary.

Join us, 4 fat people who just attended a metal show, and bathe our booth seats in the musk of your combined mosh pit sweat.

Did somebody just make eyes at your ugly, saggy-bodied girlfriend? Maybe, but you're not really sure? Them's fightin' words here at Denny's. Consider us your arena to settle this out, old-fashioned!

Do you like your eggs runny? So do we. Do you like your ham to have the consistency of a handful of unwrapped condoms? Us too!

We know exactly how you want your meal; dropped a couple of inches in front of you by a sh*tty waitress (even by waitress standards) with deep-seated self-esteem issues. That's the Denny's Dogma.


Bravo.
 
2012-10-01 04:20:25 PM  
Did a lot of you people have a shiatty weekend, or are you normally just assholes?

/"Can I help you?" does not translate as "I'm annoying and you're a dipshiat". get over yourselves.
 
2012-10-01 04:25:42 PM  

akula: I *know* I'm welcome in retail establishments during regular business hours. It's because I have some got-damned money and might trade some for some of the products offered for sale in the establishment. I don't give a shiat whether you call me a customer, guest, or whatever the hell else so long as it isn't profane. I KNOW you want me in there... you wouldn't run a damn store if you didn't like people walking in to spend money.

Instead of thinking up new things to call me and people like me, why not spend that time thinking up what I might like to buy and how you can simplify the process of me doing exactly that?


You pretty much nailed it. Is the store open? Do I have money to spend? Yes? Then I know they want me there. I am never going to feel "at home" in any store, nor is anyone who has an actual home they like to spend time in. I understand you don't want a shopping experience to be actively unpleasant, but have they ever asked real people what makes a great trip to the store? I bet most people would say they didn't have to wait in a long line, they were able to find what they wanted, and the store wasn't a disgusting mess. Nobody is ever going to say "well, I heard a cashier call me a customer and I really wanted to feel as if I were a guest, so I'm not coming back here." But they will say "there were 20 registers and two of them were open, while the lines grew longer by the minute and it was 6:00, so people were filing in for the after work rush and nobody seemed to care so I am not coming back here again."

It's really not rocket science.
 
2012-10-01 04:26:29 PM  

powhound: I noticed at my local Target store that the old and fugly female employees wear button-up collar shirts (and guys too), while the young, attractive female employees wear rather low cut t-shirts with their boobs practically falling out.


This is why I like Target. Wal-Mart is a bit cheaper, but smells bad and makes me loathe humanity a bit more each time I go. Target, at least has nice wide isles and some sense as to what "clean" means, plus half the women at Target are look-able. They hire a few too many hipsters but that is what young people are now days.
 
obl
2012-10-01 04:29:07 PM  
The Internet is a great place for armchair CEO's to tell wildly successful corporations how they are doing business wrong.
 
2012-10-01 04:30:22 PM  

SkylineRecords: A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.

 

assets3.bigthink.com
 
2012-10-01 04:34:15 PM  
The "script" here is for management to deliver to employees, not for employees to deliver to customers... there is no scripted customer experience here.

It's a training tool. It is virtually identical to many others I have seen. Did you guys think local store managers make up their own customer relations strategies or something?

This is stretching "not news" to its limits.
 
2012-10-01 05:00:41 PM  
I think everyone ("What do you mean, everyone?" "EEEEVVVRRRYYYOOONNNEEE!!!") should have to work a minimum of 2 years in retail. No exceptions.
 
2012-10-01 05:03:41 PM  
ninjamonkey.us
 
2012-10-01 05:08:12 PM  

Clutch2013: I think everyone ("What do you mean, everyone?" "EEEEVVVRRRYYYOOONNNEEE!!!") should have to work a minimum of 2 years in retail. No exceptions.


It only took a few months of working at home depot for me to come away with a completely different attitude about retail workers.

It's harder, and more stressful than it looks.
 
2012-10-01 05:11:54 PM  
Actually, if Target wants to make shopping a little easier, they should have smocks or some type of uniform other than "Wear khakis and a red shirt". Some regular people wear that same outfit and, if they wander into a Target, I'll assume they work there.
 
2012-10-01 05:12:46 PM  
Unless the big box stores can work together (ie: pay off congress) to get them to put massive "user fees" (ie: taxes) on sites like Amazon, Newegg....the only thing a big box store will be good for is window shopping. Holding an item, seeing if you like it, then grab your smartphone or tablet while still in the store and order it on the web and have it delivered usually the next 2-3 days much CHEAPER than buying it then in the store.
 
2012-10-01 05:18:28 PM  

Clutch2013: I think everyone ("What do you mean, everyone?" "EEEEVVVRRRYYYOOONNNEEE!!!") should have to work a minimum of 2 years in retail. No exceptions.


Let's see...I worked at a 7-11 for a couple of years while I was in high school but that wasn't a big deal. Standing behind a counter & ringing stuff up for 8 hours/day is nothing. I worked at TJ Maxx for one day--HATED IT. Punched out and never went back. People don't ask you a lot of questions at a 7-11. They don't ask you to get stuff down off shelves, if you can match a price, or if you're hiding anything in the back. In one day, I discovered I do NOT have the personality to handle the general public--no patience.

The only other time I worked retail was this past summer at a little candle/gift shop on the weekends. That was actually kind of fun since it was never really busy and I honestly liked the products. And the people who came in were either browsers killing time on their way home from the beach or people who knew the store and had a good idea of what they wanted. Zero pressure in that store.
 
2012-10-01 05:26:16 PM  

Another Pretentious Nickname: The "script" here is for management to deliver to employees, not for employees to deliver to customers... there is no scripted customer experience here.

It's a training tool. It is virtually identical to many others I have seen. Did you guys think local store managers make up their own customer relations strategies or something?

This is stretching "not news" to its limits.


I just find it very funny that whoever came up with that pictured a scenario where a corporate meeting with a bunch of minimum wage earning teenagers would end with the speaker waiting for the audience's "Yeah!" Like out of some terrible 1980s sitcom.
 
2012-10-01 05:37:38 PM  

gingerjet: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up


Yes, WF very much guilty of that. I termed it "new unctuousness" when I noticed it last year.
 
2012-10-01 05:40:02 PM  
This will only come as a surprise to those that have never walked into a Target, let alone ever worked there. This place is a farking cult.

/posting from my cube
//no less than 120 bullseyes in view, last I counted
 
2012-10-01 05:42:27 PM  

Chafed Willi: This will only come as a surprise to those that have never walked into a Target, let alone ever worked there. This place is a farking cult.

/posting from my cube
//no less than 120 bullseyes in view, last I counted


I think the TotalFark fundraiser to help Chafed Willi, who lost his job by criticizing his employer on Fark from his cubicle, will go very well.
 
2012-10-01 05:46:11 PM  

freewill: Chafed Willi: This will only come as a surprise to those that have never walked into a Target, let alone ever worked there. This place is a farking cult.

/posting from my cube
//no less than 120 bullseyes in view, last I counted

I think the TotalFark fundraiser to help Chafed Willi, who lost his job by criticizing his employer on Fark from his cubicle, will go very well.


They'll never catch me alive!
 
2012-10-01 05:48:51 PM  

drewogatory: URAPNIS: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

Seems like they do that at The Home Depot a lot.

This. If I want your help I'll ask, otherwise stay the fark away from me. I've taken to just completely ignoring the clerks at Home Depot, I'll look thru them like they aren't even there. My favorite is always the staff at record/book stores. "Do you need some help?: "No, I've pretty much mastered the goddamn alphabet already"...


You prefer it when I don't acknowledge your existence or identify myself as a store employee? You're my favorite, too.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:13 PM  

ChrisDe: As a consumer, I'm insulted when I think the customer service agent is reading from a script. Stop it, Target.


This!

The Safeway cecker futilely scanning my receipt for my name so they "personalize" my experience - ugh!
 
2012-10-01 06:21:11 PM  

cgraves67: Am I the only one that read that in Ralph Wiggum's voice?


i read it in pit-pat's voice.
 
2012-10-01 06:23:54 PM  

UncleStumpy: Because its really hard to say no thanks, I don't need any help.

I understand that getting bugged several times in a few minutes is annoying, but I'd rather that than trying to hunt someone down for 20 when I have a question, and then getting an indifferent grunt when I finally find someone


Maybe if they weren't nagging people unsolicited, they would be available for people like you who need them.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:05 PM  

ChipNASA: [i.cocoperez.com image 450x676]


Knees just a little sharp, but DAMN! those toes!
 
2012-10-01 07:12:03 PM  
The annoying thing isn't usually the employees. It's the other customers. I always walk around with a sour look on my face, because I'm always angry. So I get accosted more by fellow customers telling me to "smile" or some such other b.s. I'll never forget one time in Waldenbooks (yeah this was like 20 years ago) when some guy in a wheelchair rolls up and tells me to "smile, it can't be that bad" as I'm browsing books. I've never wanted to hit someone so much in my life.

The employees of these fine establishments like Target however can tell I'm an asshole from 50 yards away so are much more likely to wisely leave me alone and let me shop in peace.
 
2012-10-01 07:12:44 PM  

Jamrock: Welcome to the wonderful world that is retail.This is standard.

In my experience, at least, it comes down heavy from corporate, and everybody has to play along from the top on down.


Yep. You get criticized working in retail if you don't act that way. So I just say "I'm fine thank you" and the employee usually says "well if you need any help let me know" and that's the end of it. If they start pushing a product on me that's when I get annoyed.
 
2012-10-01 07:16:20 PM  
I go to Walmart for this very reason.

I prefer shiatty non personal service and the smell of farts.
 
2012-10-01 07:20:59 PM  

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Meh. Having worked at Wal-Mart during my illustrious college days, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Employees will do it for a few weeks when the boss is around, but it will soon be forgotten.

I remember Wal-Mart having "Project Sunshine" announcements when you were supposed to drop everything and ask a customer how they were doing that day. It soon stopped when us smartass employees started the "drop everything" literally.

/and yes, the legends of people doing the Wal-Mart cheer every morning are true
//wanted to run in front of them, smacking each in the face Laurel and Hardy style


i1245.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 08:00:49 PM  

brigid_fitch: Actually, if Target wants to make shopping a little easier, they should have smocks or some type of uniform other than "Wear khakis and a red shirt". Some regular people wear that same outfit and, if they wander into a Target, I'll assume they work there.


I like to imagine that after-hours, Target and Best Buy have some sort of massive capture-the-flag competition.
 
2012-10-01 08:38:53 PM  
At some point, you read one too many of these stories and begin hoping the the EMP strike will happen more sooner than later.


/The End is well and truly nigh.
 
2012-10-01 08:50:30 PM  
had98c:

I always walk around with a sour look on my face, because I'm always angry.

Will you marry me?
 
2012-10-01 08:54:59 PM  
Anyone who as ever worked in retail is familiar with this crap.

I always find it so amusing that they try to get the employees to be super enthusiastic about making them more money and joining in their ridiculous manufactured corporate culture. Look dumbasses, you're paying me for sh*t and clearly don't value your employees for any reason other than using them as cheap labor. Don't insult my intelligence by trying to make me care deeply about your profit goals with this stupid cheerleader routine.

And I have to agree, by the way: being constantly hounded by salespeople makes me want to leave the store. Sure, be available and receptive if I have a question but, IMO, good customer service is there when you want it and NOT before.
 
2012-10-01 09:05:34 PM  
Does anyone here have any experience working at Trader Joe's? I find most of their staff to be overly chatty to the point of being obnoxious. Are they hired that way on purpose or are they trained to act that way. I always feel like a jerk for not wanting to make small talk with the cashier but I don't like meaningless small talk and I feel bad that someone is being forced to talk to me as part of their job.
 
2012-10-01 09:18:20 PM  

brigid_fitch: Actually, if Target wants to make shopping a little easier, they should have smocks or some type of uniform other than "Wear khakis and a red shirt". Some regular people wear that same outfit and, if they wander into a Target, I'll assume they work there.


Red shirt and khaki pants, I've always assumed they specifically chose that because they know that no living human person with normally functioning cones in their eyes would ever wear that in any other context.
 
2012-10-01 09:24:13 PM  
As someone who works the Target service desk to put myself through school, I'm getting a kick out of these comments.

This started sometime last week at my store and I couldn't help but laugh through the whole rollout meeting. The videos were more like glorified commercials than anything informational, and the script was just as syrupy-sickening. I told the HR rep (who I am fairly close to, as far as co-workers go) that I already do all of that, just not as fake or annoying. I don't fake happy and smile awkwardly at people that can find their way around a department store and don't need bothered.

I give people fast, helpful service (smile or not) because it's my job and it's what I would want out of a department store if I were the customer. I feel lucky to have a relatively easy job making a dollar more than minimum wage in this economy, and I do what it takes to maintain said job.
 
2012-10-01 10:05:00 PM  
Yeah, and what's up with the shirts. Get some uniform shirts for chrissake, letting some slovenly minimum wage worker chose their own work shirts is a terrible idea.
 
2012-10-01 10:07:27 PM  
As a former bigbox employee, if they want their employees to be cheeri then paying a living wage would help out as a starter since that's the reason they're working there to begin with. They might have to take a hit in profits for a few years while people are nurtured to actually appreciate their job and the place they work but that's the only way you're really going to get people truely happy to the point they have a singificant impact on the shopping experience. But no, they'll continue to put huge profits before anything and hope it will somehow trend upwards forever and ever.
 
2012-10-01 10:48:04 PM  
Most companies do this, I don't really think it's a bad thing for companies to let their employees know the importance of providing good service to their customers.
 
2012-10-01 10:52:29 PM  
i'm cleaning out the crap mom hoarded for years so we can sell her house and finally put her in a home now that she seizured out and drove her Saturn on someones lawn.

went to Wal-Mart first thing Sun morning for boxes of garbage bags. there were two ladies stocking an end cap and i asked where the bags were.

one told me exactly where the bags were. the other one wished me a pleasant weekend.

thismomentinblackhistory: I wouldn't read that crap if I was a paid employee of Target, and I'm sure as hell not going to read it for free.


enjoy the unemployment line with all the other bad attitude tokens, tough guy.
 
2012-10-01 11:36:16 PM  
These techniques obviously failed for the Disney Organization.
 
2012-10-01 11:50:12 PM  

ProfessorOhki: brigid_fitch: Actually, if Target wants to make shopping a little easier, they should have smocks or some type of uniform other than "Wear khakis and a red shirt". Some regular people wear that same outfit and, if they wander into a Target, I'll assume they work there.

I like to imagine that after-hours, Target and Best Buy have some sort of massive capture-the-flag competition.


Cripps and bloods.
 
2012-10-01 11:54:46 PM  

ChrisDe: As a consumer, I'm insulted when I think the customer service agent is reading from a script. Stop it, Target.


ChrisDe, I understand that this can be a frustrating process, so I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that this gets resolved for you, ChrisDe. You mentioned that you wanted to speak with my supervisor. ChrisDe, I'd be more than thrilled to help you instead. It's true that we don't currently offer refunds, rebates, exchanges, discounts, or excuses for any of our products at this current time, ChrisDe, but if you'd like me to extend your contract or upgrade you to our Premium Gold package for a small substantial fee, I'd be positively orgasmic with joy to do that for you. Shall I go ahead and right-size your contract? ...I see. May I ask, ChrisDe, why it is that you feel this way? ...I see, well, ChrisDe, I'd be happy to pass that message along to my mother for you. ChrisDe, have I provided you with excellently awesome customer service today? ...Okay, super. You have a super day, ChrisDe.
 
2012-10-02 12:47:35 AM  

whizbangthedirtfarmer:
I remember Wal-Mart having "Project Sunshine" announcements when you were supposed to drop everything and ask a customer how they were doing that day. It soon stopped when us smartass employees started the "drop everything" literally.
/and yes, the legends of people doing the Wal-Mart cheer every morning are true
//wanted to run in front of them, smacking each in the face Laurel and Hardy style


There is a Down's guy who works at the local Wal-Mart and cleans things in the grocery section. He asks me how I'm doing today. And I smile and say I'm great. He's the only person I want doing that.
 
2012-10-02 01:04:10 AM  

ChipNASA: EZ Writer: Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

[www.lingeriediva.com image 240x360]

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...

TARGET GIRL THREAD!!! GO!!!

[desktop-wallpapers.net image 800x600]


Emma Frost is looking really trampy with that hairstyle.
 
2012-10-02 01:58:08 AM  

AllUpInYa: They won't have as many manned checkout lanes because they're trying to move you into the self-checkout lanes, which is better for their bottom lines, in the long-run.
But people would rather wait in line for a manned checkout lane.

Can we call the self-checkout a failed experiment and bury it already?


I refuse to use self-checkout lanes unless they give me the employee discount for doing so. I also figure that if a store won't take my money within 5 minutes of getting in line they don't want my money bad enough and I drop my stuff on the floor and go elsewhere. As much as people love money you'd think it'd be easier to find someone who wanted to take it from me.

I would have responded earlier but I was waiting in line at five different stores.
 
2012-10-02 04:54:33 AM  
The bi-polar as training guideline.
 
2012-10-02 07:05:09 AM  

cryinoutloud: whizbangthedirtfarmer:
I remember Wal-Mart having "Project Sunshine" announcements when you were supposed to drop everything and ask a customer how they were doing that day. It soon stopped when us smartass employees started the "drop everything" literally.
/and yes, the legends of people doing the Wal-Mart cheer every morning are true
//wanted to run in front of them, smacking each in the face Laurel and Hardy style

There is a Down's guy who works at the local Wal-Mart and cleans things in the grocery section. He asks me how I'm doing today. And I smile and say I'm great. He's the only person I want doing that.


Just keep in mind, if my experience as a Wal-Mart employee indicates, that the other associates there probably mock him mercilessly.
 
2012-10-02 03:09:18 PM  

EZ Writer: Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

[www.lingeriediva.com image 240x360]

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...


Sounds great if all their employees had perfect, photoshopped bodies like your model here....

But sadly, it is the exception, not the rule. So your proposal has been DENIED.
 
2012-10-02 03:09:26 PM  
Why wouldn't it work? It works for Apple. Target has the same stuff as Walmart and Amazon, but charges higher margins. Just like Apple.
 
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