If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Welcome to Target. I love you   (gawker.com) divider line 228
    More: Amusing, Target, AMAZING, existential threat, Amazon  
•       •       •

25942 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 1:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



228 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-01 02:00:51 PM
Worked for Target for years. Well, was an IT manager for Mervyn's, then once Target took over DHC (on the money Mervyns's made to support Targets expansion during the 80's-90's), all IT rolled into Target Information Services.
We always referred to them as the "Big Red Sphincter".

Poisonous corporate environment. Plus, any business trips for big meetings went from going to the SF Bay area to freaking Minnenoplace. Usually in February.

Of course, they dumped Mervyn's once they sucked us dry.

/Fark them.
 
2012-10-01 02:02:01 PM

Diogenes: Maybe they should really start pronouncing it "Tar-zhay."


I'm trying to decipher... I pronounce it with a soft g and silent t. So it sounds like a bad french accent. Is that what you are going for with Tar-zhay?
 
2012-10-01 02:02:31 PM
Meh. Having worked at Wal-Mart during my illustrious college days, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Employees will do it for a few weeks when the boss is around, but it will soon be forgotten.

I remember Wal-Mart having "Project Sunshine" announcements when you were supposed to drop everything and ask a customer how they were doing that day. It soon stopped when us smartass employees started the "drop everything" literally.

/and yes, the legends of people doing the Wal-Mart cheer every morning are true
//wanted to run in front of them, smacking each in the face Laurel and Hardy style
 
2012-10-01 02:03:15 PM
This kind of crap exists for one reason: retail store executives desperately wish for it to be true that you shop at store X because they're so damned helpful and friendly. They want this to be the case because it costs not one red farking cent to tell their employees to be so damned helpful and friendly. To them, this is a cheap and easy way to get ALL THE BUSINESS.

These executives DO NOT want to believe the truth: we shop at store X because we can find what we want in stock and getting in, getting it, paying, and getting out is not a complete and utter pain in the ass. They do not wish to believe this because staffing your store for this kind of shopping experience costs money. They do not want to hire a couple more people so the checkout waits are minimal. They do not want to hire a few more people to be able to point you to the artfully hidden merchandise you actually seek. They do not want to hire people to get the carts from the parking lot to the building.

All that costs money. It's cheaper and easier to believe they can make their employees be complete and utter motherfarkers of niceness and that's why you keep coming back.

In other news, a good chunk of executives are completely out of touch with reality and may in fact be unable to find their asses with both hands, a map, and a native guide.
 
2012-10-01 02:04:10 PM
When will these stores realize that accosting the customer to greet them and ask if they need assistance is a HUGE turn off. The worst with that shiat is Best Buy, where I can't walk more than 10 feet without having 3 different employees ask me if I need any help while I'm looking. There have in fact been many instances where I've gone into a store and considered making an impulse purchase, only get get annoyed by overly aggressive associates and leave without buying anything. Help, if I need it, I'll ask for it, otherwise leave me the fark alone. Go bother the 14 year olds who clearly don't have any money and are wearing hoodies in August, those are the ones that are going to steal from you, not me.
 
2012-10-01 02:04:16 PM
Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

www.lingeriediva.com

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...
 
2012-10-01 02:05:38 PM
Surely this emo 16 year-old can help me pick out the best dinette set.
 
2012-10-01 02:06:22 PM

EZ Writer: Change your female employee uniform to this, and we'll talk.

[www.lingeriediva.com image 240x360]

Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...


TARGET GIRL THREAD!!! GO!!!

desktop-wallpapers.net
 
2012-10-01 02:06:59 PM
Welcome to Target. I love you.

Welcome to Gawker. I hate good customer service.
 
2012-10-01 02:07:42 PM
It's not creepy to expect your employees to deliver good customer service. I worked in grocery stores for about 5 years in college, and I was expected to smile, greet my customers, and provide good service. And now that I'm a registered nurse I am expected to smile, greet my patients, and provide good care.

For this being a new "service based economy", the service sucks. The experience has been so bad that I've gone from shopping for fun 3-5 times a week at different stores, to shopping only for groceries and cat supplies on a weekly basis. The crappy retailers can count out at least 1 DINK couple that's not going to be good little consumerbots.


/Fighting the power, raging against machines, despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage
 
2012-10-01 02:08:17 PM
It's out of control.

Target
Me: *walking down the paper towel aisle*
Redshirt, stopping me mid-stride: "Can I help you find something?"

Grocery store
Me: *walking down the flour/sugar/oil/cakemix/frosting aisle to get some vegetable oil*
Stocker, stopping me mid-stride: "Can I help you find something?"

Local video rental place
Me: *walking down the Russian aisle in the foreign films section*
Clerk, getting between me and the film titles: "Can I help you find something?"

Do I look either lost or illiterate, martherfarkers?

/Soon they're going to start doing it when we walk in the door.
 
2012-10-01 02:08:20 PM
www.jeffisom.com
 
2012-10-01 02:10:05 PM
Meh. Semi related CSB:

Was at Wal-mart yesterday. It was fairly busy, and they only had like 4 checkout lines open, so long lines were forming. People were getting annoyed, and a supervisor or someone comes around, announcing that if you don't need anything weighed, you can checkout at Electronics or the pharmacy. Some dude goes off on the supervisor, yelling "We have rights. Why aren't more checkout lines open? etc."

I know I go to Wal-mart for the cheapest prices, so in my case, I value my time pretty low, and I know what to expect when I go there. I respond to this guy: "this is what happens when you want to pay the absolute minimum for your goods"
"We have rights. The customer is always right."
"Yeah, you do have rights. You have the right to abandon your cart, head up to IGA, where'll you'll be paying 30% more, but you'll get a cashier within 2 minutes of entering a line."

I got a few nods, some scornful looks, and a perplexed look from that supervisor.
 
2012-10-01 02:10:46 PM

EZ Writer: Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...


You have to wear pants at Target?

Nose-turnin' snobs... I'll stick with Wal Mart then.
 
2012-10-01 02:10:53 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 02:11:24 PM
I for one hate overly chatty and friendly staff. Especially when it's blatantly obvious they're following a script. Just leave me be. If I have a question, I'll come to you, at which point nice customer service is appreciated, but quite trying to make chit chat with me about if I need help finding anything or why I'm buying what I'm buying at checkout.
 
2012-10-01 02:11:42 PM
I don't know... She might have bought this at Target.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 02:11:47 PM
Disneyesque?

♫ It's a small Target after all! ♫
 
2012-10-01 02:12:52 PM
Ugh. Out of touch corporate bullshiat.
 
2012-10-01 02:13:30 PM
l.yimg.com
 
2012-10-01 02:14:47 PM
cbswomc2.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-01 02:16:38 PM
So..Target has problems with shoplifters? This a common loss prevention tactic in retail. When I worked at Lowes, it was SOP to customer service the hell out of suspected shoplifters.
 
2012-10-01 02:16:43 PM
img2.timeinc.net
 
2012-10-01 02:17:14 PM
The employees of the super Target near me, must not have had to take this training. They don't seem to care about anything or anyone. But then they work in a store the size of a small mall. I hate the place, but my wife says she can get things there that she'd have to go to the other side of town to find otherwise. So I let her go.
 
2012-10-01 02:18:10 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Do I look either lost or illiterate, martherfarkers?


I LOVE when people ask me that. I always come out with the most stupid, nitpicky item I can find on my shopping list, and then I amp it up. If they seem nice, I play it off. If they seem drone-y, then I give them a helpful, hopeful look.

Did that in Kmart of all places last week. I was looking at buying a heavy quilt for my son and modifying it to be weighted. Nice employee says "Hey you need help?" and I said "Yes! I'm weighing these quilts by hand and I'd really like to know which one is heaviest." He looked startled and laughed and I gave him a nice smile and a bit of chit-chat. I enjoyed it and I think he enjoyed it.

My solution for getting good customer service is pay your employees more, and promote anyone who actually has a clue -- you know... The ones you keep labelling "troublemakers" and "not committed to Sparkle Motion".

Of course, I'm probably among the minority on that one...
 
2012-10-01 02:19:28 PM
cdn04.cdn.justjared.com 

You *KNOW* you want it.
 
2012-10-01 02:19:32 PM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: EZ Writer: Otherwise, I will continue to shop from home. Free shipping, no tax, and I don't have to wear pants...

You have to wear pants at Target?

Nose-turnin' snobs... I'll stick with Wal Mart then.


I thought you seemed familiar...

media.peopleofwalmart.com
 
2012-10-01 02:20:26 PM
If by "AMAZING" they mean the pissed off black girl at the checkout that seems to be mad at me for buying something then, yeah, They're pretty "AMAZING"!
 
2012-10-01 02:20:59 PM
bite-prod.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-10-01 02:22:31 PM
i220.photobucket.com">Link
 
2012-10-01 02:23:26 PM
i.cocoperez.com
 
2012-10-01 02:23:29 PM

hdhale:
Some things though, I want to see in person before I throw plastic at it--sorry, I just do. I did that with my exercise bike, got what I wanted and saved hundreds.


You would trust a farking salesmen over a hundred online user reviews?
 
2012-10-01 02:24:21 PM

SkylineRecords: A moment is when my girlfriend gives me a blowjob. Amazing is when she asks me to do it on her face.

Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities, such as the example posted above.


So, lemme get this straight: If your girlfriend wants to blow you at Target, possibly spooging on her face, you aren't up for it?

\give me her number, I'll sub in...
 
2012-10-01 02:24:31 PM

abhorrent1: If by "AMAZING" they mean the pissed off black girl at the checkout that seems to be mad at me for buying something then, yeah, They're pretty "AMAZING"!


That's just the overweight black girl default position. Target can't help that.
 
2012-10-01 02:25:08 PM
resources3.news.com.au
 
2012-10-01 02:25:23 PM

browntimmy: hdhale:
Some things though, I want to see in person before I throw plastic at it--sorry, I just do. I did that with my exercise bike, got what I wanted and saved hundreds.

You would trust a farking salesmen over a hundred online user reviews?


Some of it is personal preference. I like reading the bad reviews to see if the complaints are about things I don't care about. Then there's feel, size, weight, etc. Some stuff works better in person. Some I don't care about.
 
2012-10-01 02:26:27 PM
a.markosweb.com
 
2012-10-01 02:26:33 PM

hailin: You want to know how they can compete with Amazon? Let me freaking buy my stuff online and then have it waiting for me to pickup at the store. I know that interferes with their business model of putting what I really need at the back of the store hoping I buy something else along the way with their "fun" advertising promotions, but just stop it. I buy from Amazon for convenience and not having to interact with a human to purchase tampons. Friendlier associates in counterproductive to what I want....to be in and out of a store in 5 minutes.

Best Buy has pick up in store and it is awesome. I shop there when I need stuff right away. If I can wait a few days then it is Amazon. Why other brick & mortor stores can't figure out the pick up in store option is beyond me.


I don't get this. What's so embarrassing about tampons and condoms? I buy toilet paper all the time and the cashier knows that's going directly onto my ass.
 
2012-10-01 02:28:32 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-01 02:29:53 PM

moothemagiccow: I don't get this. What's so embarrassing about tampons and condoms? I buy toilet paper all the time and the cashier knows that's going directly onto my ass.



Exactly.  Hell, I'm a guy and I've bought them for my wife while shopping alone.  Never felt embarassed.  And If I didn't know where they were, I wouldn't be embarassed to ask someone on the floor.
 
Periods are kinda part of life.  And people shop for their SO's all the time.
 
2012-10-01 02:30:12 PM
You have thought by now there'd be some hip corporate training program that recognized that the Happy Smile Time pitch never worked and to stop assuming your employees are morons with no sense of dignity. Sure, you're working at Target or Taco Bell or some other dead-end job, but that doesn't mean you're just excited to be there, Stan!
 
2012-10-01 02:30:42 PM

Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...



How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...
 
2012-10-01 02:31:23 PM
Back when I had these kinds of jobs, I had fun by saying precisely what I was told to say. Like, not adjust it to the situation but just repeat it - friendly but rote. Confused the hell out of the poor customers.

/good times
 
2012-10-01 02:32:21 PM

gingerjet: WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.

A while ago Wells Fargo started what I call the "New Niceness". While depositing a check they will attempt to engage you in all matters of polite small talk. I just want to leap over the counter and choke the living niceness out of them.

/just deposit the damn thing and shut the fark up


Yes, but I noticed they also added the check-cashing ATMs around the same time. Still farked when I have to go in to get quarters tho. Was waiting in line once and some 20-year old manager walks up, shakes my hand and starts talking about the weather. Confused the fark out of me.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:41 PM

jicon: Can we cut the 'Amazing' and 'Magical' BS?

Birth of a kid, or some once in a lifetime sort of event... maybe...


You have never seen a woman give birth.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:56 PM
sonotretail.com
 
2012-10-01 02:33:49 PM

WorldCitizen: If they start talking to me and acting all cheesy when I don't want any help from them, I will completely stop going there. I want to buy stuff. I don't want someone trying to be my fake friend.


This is the exact reason I stopped shopping at Macy's.
 
2012-10-01 02:33:51 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Big_Fat_Liar: It's only annoying when you're feeling a little too stoned. That's what someone told me anyway...


How stoned is "too stoned"? Just curious...


Yeah, you get to a point where you're just wasting it if you keep packing. Go bite your nails or something.
 
2012-10-01 02:34:00 PM

BMFPitt: Here's what I consider an amazing retail experience:  Don't bother me unless I come to you first.  Have enough people working checkout to get me done fast.


Because its really hard to say no thanks, I don't need any help.

I understand that getting bugged several times in a few minutes is annoying, but I'd rather that than trying to hunt someone down for 20 when I have a question, and then getting an indifferent grunt when I finally find someone
 
2012-10-01 02:35:05 PM

SkylineRecords: Spare me you're faux-friendship. I don't wanna have "moments" or be "amazed" at Target. I want to get what I came for, QUICKLY, and get out, so that I can resume my regular activities


One of the things that working in the service industry teaches you is the disturbing fact that there are a large percentage of people out there who go shopping or go out to eat not because they want to buy something they need or eat something they enjoy, but because they want to interact with people in the service industry.

It may seem completely insane to sane people, but there are a shocking number of sad, lonely people who need this kind of fake sincerity. It's why these companies do sh*t like this.
 
Displayed 50 of 228 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report