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(The New Yorker)   Update on Romney's plan to win debate with zingers: "We gave him what we thought was a foolproof line about the budget deficit and he somehow turned it into a crack about gay Mexicans"   (newyorker.com) divider line 65
    More: Amusing, Mexico, Ann Romney  
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10482 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Oct 2012 at 2:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-01 04:02:06 PM
4 votes:
A troll pops in and tries desperately to make the thread about Obama, but everyone is still ridiculing Romney.

I'm so proud of you, Fark.
2012-10-01 03:00:02 PM
4 votes:

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


I have heard Romney go off-script. Not many "uh's", but instead comments about proper tree height, enjoying firing people, and how half of the country are losers that he doesn't worry about.

I think a couple of "uh's" are okay.
2012-10-01 04:38:35 PM
3 votes:

Grungehamster: It doesn't matter if the answer he gives makes sense, the fact that it did not come out instantly without any hesitation shows he is dumb.


Republicans desperately wanted Obama to be as bad a speaker as Bush was. They didn't think Bush's hilarious speaking mistakes were Bush's fault; they thought it was all made up by the "liberal media." So, in retaliation, they immediately sought any evidence that Obama was as bad a speaker as Bush was. Unfortunately, with reality being all liberally biased, all they could cling to was "teleprompturz" and "he says 'uh' sometimes!" Regardless, they blasted that 'evidence' on their right-wing propaganda networks, like Fox, and here we are dealing with their drones.

You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.
2012-10-01 02:54:06 PM
3 votes:
My favorite part was:

Ann Romney attempted to lower expectations for her husband's performance at this Wednesday's debate: "When Mitt starts working his mouth and goes off on some weird tangent about who knows what, please just tune him out. God knows that's how I've survived all these years."



At first I thought it was a serious article, and the realization that I was nearly duped by the author made the article funnier to me. I can't believe some of you didn't think that was funny.
2012-10-01 05:04:18 PM
2 votes:
The Republican party killed satire.
2012-10-01 04:06:38 PM
2 votes:

tenpoundsofcheese: coeyagi: You know, I don't usually advocate for dirty, underhanded, unethical behavior in a political campaign - that's usually firm GOP territory there

and yet you do it all the time...and then claim it is the GOP. Funny.

- but can you imagine if there was a Democratic party plant in the Romney camp who switched his notes to say "Ni**er-in-Chief"

and again you show your racism. surprise! why didn't you blame the GOP for this again?


Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays
2012-10-01 04:05:04 PM
2 votes:

jst3p: f you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.



But with a higher risk of goatse (or similar) substitution being used as a punishment for bandwidth looters.

/no, you don't want to google it from work, any more than you want to google 'santorum'
2012-10-01 03:39:09 PM
2 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
"Friendly seeming - I am Mitt Romney. Pandering attempt to seem normal - Those are some fancy raincoats you have there. Snarky good-humored - If my opponent wins, you all will be wearing those. Awkward - Ha Ha!"
2012-10-01 03:28:36 PM
2 votes:

ghare: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

You gotta be a real loser to need to watch them to make up your mind at this point.


I plan on ignoring them entirely, because I already know everything I need to know about both candidates. But I pay way more attention than a sane person should. That said, I feel bad for the "low information, undecided voter", because they're not going to get any useful information out of the debate, either.

That said, it really would be nice if Romney would release A policy position. I mean, just ONE.
2012-10-01 03:27:13 PM
2 votes:

lennavan: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Yes, however it is not funny.


The problem I've always had with "The Onion" is that they make satire look easy, which makes everyone else think that they can do it, too.
They can't, and they should feel bad for trying.
2012-10-01 03:20:14 PM
2 votes:
The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.
2012-10-01 03:15:39 PM
2 votes:
Is it just me or do these satirical articles seem to have more truth in them than satire? Or is just my biased opinion that the republican party is home to more inbred, slack jawed, bible thumping, pin headed, mouth breathers than ever before.
2012-10-01 03:11:05 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

"It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change, Mr. Romney. "
2012-10-01 03:06:27 PM
2 votes:

Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.


Apparently you didn't see him during the Democratic debates last time around.
2012-10-01 03:01:18 PM
2 votes:
also the timing and delivery have to be perfect for jokes, especially zingers, to work.

I can see him reciting these in a matter-of-fact, memorized way that will just kill any chance it had of landing in a humorous way.
2012-10-01 02:57:09 PM
2 votes:
2012-10-01 02:47:42 PM
2 votes:

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


That's a very farking brave card for you to play there 'Pericles'
2012-10-01 02:46:30 PM
2 votes:
Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?
2012-10-01 02:45:28 PM
2 votes:

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.
2012-10-01 12:25:51 PM
2 votes:

Nadie_AZ: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

FTA: KEYWORDS HUMOR

I'm going to go with 'yes'.


Between this and the Bachmann article about felafels, it's become really hard to tell anymore.
2012-10-01 12:21:04 PM
2 votes:
Is this satire?
2012-10-01 11:07:38 PM
1 votes:

mrshowrules: FuryOfFirestorm: As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.

I have a loose theory that it was a gay Mexican-American who was a cosmetician (apologize for the stereotype) that applied the 10 gallons of tanner to Romney's face just for lulz. Alternately anyone who just thought he was a major league douche could have done it and it would have been brilliant.


He seems like the kinda guy that would be dumb enough to talk down to someone about to put chemicals on his face, or someone about to handle his food behind closed doors, or someone about to administer medication to his sick child.
2012-10-01 07:23:49 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Breeze: Look, all I'm saying is that if I made a drinking game out of it, I'd probably be dead of alcohol poisoning by the end of the night. I guess we'll have to see who's right in 2 days.



I don't drink and haven't touched the stuff for over a year. Also hate watching political circle jerks and speeches BUT I think I might do the drinking game thing and actually watch. Just for the lulz. With the running fark commentary on the laptop. This Wednesday is going to be great. Thurs my liver will be hating me though.
2012-10-01 05:54:44 PM
1 votes:

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


FiveThirtyEight aggregates all the major polls, and has very clear statements about their methodology and the ways they account for bias (one way or the other) in their constituent polls. Unskewed Polls is also clear about their methodology -- and their transparency makes it plainly obvious that their methodology is terrible, and their only purpose is to keep the bubble intact. It's like the difference between the Smithsonian and the Creation Museum -- the Smithsonian may not be totally comprehensive, but it's pretty clear they're not out to present a twisted view of reality like the Creation Museum is.
2012-10-01 05:54:40 PM
1 votes:

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....



I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!
2012-10-01 05:52:41 PM
1 votes:

Kevin72: Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore.


I'm amazed there were 4 people who didn't have him on ignore.
2012-10-01 05:52:16 PM
1 votes:

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


538 analysis is open to you. Read up on it. They use all the public polling data they can get, through history, to make their predictions. They were near spot on in 2008 and 2010. You can look at their record. The proof is there, you just need to look for it.
2012-10-01 05:23:22 PM
1 votes:

busy chillin': [3.bp.blogspot.com image 201x215]

"Obama is so dumb."

"How dumb is he?" asks the crowd

"Obama is so dumb he uses a teleprompter!"


*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*


"You stink Obama! You are stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and your butt smells and you like to kiss your own butt!"

i.imgur.com

*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*
2012-10-01 05:15:30 PM
1 votes:

Bschott007: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

The Republican Caucus would like to have a word with you on that little mistruth...


This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.
2012-10-01 04:55:23 PM
1 votes:
Yellow zingers are fine, but red zingers are practically invincible. Can't even knock them down with a barrel.
2012-10-01 04:48:57 PM
1 votes:
All this talk of zingers lately made me have to run down to the Hostess Outlet for some of these:

farm2.static.flickr.com
2012-10-01 04:36:59 PM
1 votes:

SovietCanuckistan: Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!

Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


It sure is. When my kiwi wife gets drunk and starts asking women to "Show us your growler," I know I'm in for a great night. She's also becomes quite fond of the "c-word" after having a few.
2012-10-01 04:13:20 PM
1 votes:
Is it wrong that I hope Romney starts the debate by asking Obama during the handshake if he can call him Joe? Hey, Palin survived on zingers and saying that she wants to answer the questions America wants answered instead of the questions the moderator wants answered, why not try a repeat performance?

The idea that rattling Obama is easy enough that a smarmy remark or two will throw him off his game just astounds me. The only instance I've even heard of getting a rise out of him was the debt ceiling negotiations completely falling apart. The funny bit will be when Obama throws a rhetorical elbow and Romney gets frustrated enough to make a big play out of it which blows up in his face. Wonder if he'll want to make a bet?
2012-10-01 04:10:27 PM
1 votes:
taxdollars.ocregister.com
What Mitt's zinger coach may look like.
2012-10-01 04:09:24 PM
1 votes:

sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.


i47.tinypic.com

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!
2012-10-01 04:03:27 PM
1 votes:
Debate drinking game:

1) Have the Dems do a shot every time Obama says "uh."
2) Have the Reps do a shot every time Romney says something stupid.
3) See which side dies of alcohol poisoning first.


4) Profit?
2012-10-01 04:02:50 PM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


The funny thing is that while as a general rule anytime a politician's mouth is moving you can assume it's a lie, the difference between when a politician is searching for words and when they flow out of their mouth smoothly is usually that the former means that they are formulating a response to that particular question whereas the latter means they have a rehearsed response prepared for questions about that topic. I leave it up to you which you expect to be more inaccurate, but a large part of how polished most politicians are is that they already know what soundbytes they want out there and know how to take their answer away from a direct response and towards an excerpt from their stump speech.
2012-10-01 03:54:49 PM
1 votes:

JolobinSmokin: busy chillin': JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

hey now...that is no excuse...I am from the 70s as well.

But are you from a rural Oklahoma school who didn't get new fangled 'puter's until 1996?


nope. We started messing around with 'puters in second grade..about '82 or '83
2012-10-01 03:45:02 PM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: Good plan. Romney is the master of witty ripostes. 

Zing, baby, ZING!


Mitt Romney at a rainy NASCAR race:

Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks."

This is Mitt at his wittiest. Smug and condescending, laughing at poor people trying to stay dry.
2012-10-01 03:44:12 PM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


Tenpoundsofcrap can't pass a Turing test and you want him to prove something?
2012-10-01 03:42:33 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
2012-10-01 03:36:11 PM
1 votes:

jst3p: sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.


But it also carries with it a small but significant risk of another Pickle Incident. Which, while it would be awesome for all of us, would suck for the newbie currently being instructed.
2012-10-01 03:35:42 PM
1 votes:
Borowitz's writing always strikes me as Onion-esque except the Onion makes it look effortless while Borowitz always seems to be trying really hard.
2012-10-01 03:35:31 PM
1 votes:

Ctrl-Alt-Del: [static7.businessinsider.com image 400x300]

Say what you like about me being a rich, out of touch, white guy, but at least you won't have to count the silverware when *I* leave the white house

[i218.photobucket.com image 400x400]


i45.tinypic.com

/zing!
2012-10-01 03:33:40 PM
1 votes:
***THIS UNIT IS REMINDED OF AN AMUSING ANECDOTE
***THREE CARBON BASED LIFEFORMS FROM DIFFERENT DEMOGRAPHIC BACKGROUNDS ENTER AN ALCOHOL-SERVING ESTABLISHMENT

***SEARCHING FOR SETUP AND PUNCHLINE...............................................
2012-10-01 03:31:23 PM
1 votes:

MSFT: JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

I was born on the first day of 1970, so why don't you just back slowly off my lawn while I continue to admire you through my cross-hairs?


Ooh, we got a badass here! :P
2012-10-01 03:30:02 PM
1 votes:
www.rawstory.com
2012-10-01 03:26:16 PM
1 votes:

sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.




Thank you sir an the other guy today who helped me, I now have a slight understand of posting photo's to websites.

As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.
2012-10-01 03:23:37 PM
1 votes:
Well make that two articles about prominent GOP politicians which are satire yet were totally beleivable until they went totally over the top right at the end on FARK today. Sadly that sums up the current state of the Republican Party.
2012-10-01 03:23:29 PM
1 votes:
I know The Onion, and you, New Yorker, are no Onion.
2012-10-01 03:17:35 PM
1 votes:

Epoch_Zero: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 550x308]


Laughing OL

I think that is the first time I've ever seen one of my originals used by anyone else on Fark, you honor me
2012-10-01 03:11:52 PM
1 votes:

sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:



He might find imgur.com easier. It's just a few clicks to do it. No accounts needed.
2012-10-01 03:06:45 PM
1 votes:
Any Republican that had a chance of winning the Presidency obviously sat this one out.
2012-10-01 03:03:04 PM
1 votes:

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


You just keep clinging to that.
2012-10-01 03:02:28 PM
1 votes:

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
2012-10-01 02:54:48 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


I wasn't sure until they had Romney using the word "bastard." I'm pretty sure he thinks that's a swear word and would never say it out loud.
2012-10-01 02:54:24 PM
1 votes:
There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers
2012-10-01 02:51:05 PM
1 votes:
Chuckled.

Would chuckle again.

+1
2012-10-01 02:46:22 PM
1 votes:

Jacobin: Well it won't be pretty to have "former campaign staffer for Mitt Rmoney" on your resume


I would hire that guy just for the inside stories.
2012-10-01 02:44:59 PM
1 votes:

Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.


I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.
2012-10-01 02:44:31 PM
1 votes:

IrateShadow: Oh, Andy Borowitz. You try so hard to be funny but somehow always manage to fall flat.


The Siri line was damn funny.
2012-10-01 02:39:00 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Who f*cking knows at this point. The gop has been so insane that almost everything that looks like satire can actually be what they really did.

The only obvious satire line at this point is: 'GOP decides they want to win, now appealing to moderates/center.'
2012-10-01 02:38:25 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Yes, but only by an RCH.
2012-10-01 02:19:42 PM
1 votes:
I can't wait for Romney to lay into his, "Obama has ruined the economy" bit and then Obama comes back with, "Well, there you go again." 

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-10-01 12:34:13 PM
1 votes:
media.tumblr.com

www.newyorker.com
 
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