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(The New Yorker)   Update on Romney's plan to win debate with zingers: "We gave him what we thought was a foolproof line about the budget deficit and he somehow turned it into a crack about gay Mexicans"   (newyorker.com) divider line 325
    More: Amusing, Mexico, Ann Romney  
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10478 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Oct 2012 at 2:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 04:32:16 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Obama is so dumb."

"How dumb is he?" asks the crowd

"Obama is so dumb he uses a teleprompter!"


*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*
 
2012-10-01 04:34:26 PM
Mitt's gaffes and extremely forgettable performance in the republican debates were designed to lull Obama into a false sense of security. Now, Romney is poised to pounce on ole hapless Obama. Smart money says Obama flees the stage in tears before they even get to the third question.
 
2012-10-01 04:36:59 PM

SovietCanuckistan: Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!

Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


It sure is. When my kiwi wife gets drunk and starts asking women to "Show us your growler," I know I'm in for a great night. She's also becomes quite fond of the "c-word" after having a few.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:19 PM
static.someecards.com
 
2012-10-01 04:38:20 PM

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


It'll be a thousand times more productive than anything Romney's voice processor will be able to produce.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:35 PM

Grungehamster: It doesn't matter if the answer he gives makes sense, the fact that it did not come out instantly without any hesitation shows he is dumb.


Republicans desperately wanted Obama to be as bad a speaker as Bush was. They didn't think Bush's hilarious speaking mistakes were Bush's fault; they thought it was all made up by the "liberal media." So, in retaliation, they immediately sought any evidence that Obama was as bad a speaker as Bush was. Unfortunately, with reality being all liberally biased, all they could cling to was "teleprompturz" and "he says 'uh' sometimes!" Regardless, they blasted that 'evidence' on their right-wing propaganda networks, like Fox, and here we are dealing with their drones.

You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:38 PM

flux: busy chillin': [media.independentmail.com image 607x1056]

Wow, that is a weird photo. The scale of the vehicle behind him makes him look simultaneously tall and tiny. Also, it looks like if he dropped his pants, he'd have two thin wooden dowels for legs.


Assuming that that's Romney's vehicle, look closely at the right front tire.

Why did he park smack dab on a handicapped access curb ramp?
 
2012-10-01 04:38:55 PM
Zingers are what desperate people rely on in hopes of getting out of the hole they're in.
 
2012-10-01 04:39:32 PM
Damn it, is the Satire tag on a smoke break? I was starting to think this was real until I got to the part about Romney apologizing to people with head injuries. Then I was like, "no way he'd apologize to people with head injuries" and knew it was horse shiat.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:04 PM

give me doughnuts: Debate drinking game:

1) Have the Dems do a shot every time Obama says "uh."
2) Have the Reps do a shot every time Romney says something stupid.
3) See which side dies of alcohol poisoning first.


4) Profit?


That's not fair to republicans. Obama will most likely be on sentence five before he hits an uh.

Romney will say something stupid by word two.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:29 PM

COMALite J: flux: busy chillin': [media.independentmail.com image 607x1056]

Wow, that is a weird photo. The scale of the vehicle behind him makes him look simultaneously tall and tiny. Also, it looks like if he dropped his pants, he'd have two thin wooden dowels for legs.

Assuming that that's Romney's vehicle, look closely at the right front tire.

Why did he park smack dab on a handicapped access curb ramp?


Paying attention to stuff like that is for little people. If you make more than the fine every minute of the day, you park where you please.
 
2012-10-01 04:42:42 PM

WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.


Black Star Co-op fills growlers if you're in or near Austin. 

/Good beer, too.
 
2012-10-01 04:42:49 PM

Karne: Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.

I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.


I wonder if Rmoney's campaign staffed primarily by people looking to cash in with a tell all book
 
2012-10-01 04:43:06 PM

falcon176: Nice try libs but Mitt Romney has been reading old copies of Mad Magazine


BREAKING: President Obama seriously injured at debates when Romney tries to turn him into a Fold-in
 
2012-10-01 04:44:28 PM
I would recommend black jokes. Mitt must make as many of them in as short of a time as possible. Only then will moderates respect him for standing up to established societal taboos.
 
2012-10-01 04:45:27 PM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-01 04:48:57 PM
All this talk of zingers lately made me have to run down to the Hostess Outlet for some of these:

farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2012-10-01 04:49:47 PM

Lando Lincoln: Lionel Mandrake: Good plan. Romney is the master of witty ripostes. 

Zing, baby, ZING!

Mitt Romney at a rainy NASCAR race:

Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks."

This is Mitt at his wittiest. Smug and condescending, laughing at poor people trying to stay dry.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 04:50:18 PM
"Wait, what? It doesn't rhyme with 'ginger'?"
 
2012-10-01 04:50:41 PM
Somebody needs to show Romney some Sealab so he thinks a zinger is calling Obama a mailbox head.
 
2012-10-01 04:50:44 PM

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


You forgot to mention to never get in a land war with Asia.

//Your post reminded me of that scene, except Romney isn't as charismatic as Vizzini
 
2012-10-01 04:51:03 PM
imageshack.us

"Wait a minute, wait a minute... ROMNEY, Ryan, ROMNEY, Ryan."
 
2012-10-01 04:55:02 PM

Moodybastard: Karne: Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.

I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.

I wonder if Rmoney's campaign staffed primarily by people looking to cash in with a tell all book


I wonder if Romney is in this campaign just to make money off of contributions and launder it. Both make more sense than everyone being on the up and up.
 
2012-10-01 04:55:23 PM
Yellow zingers are fine, but red zingers are practically invincible. Can't even knock them down with a barrel.
 
2012-10-01 04:55:27 PM

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Level?
 
2012-10-01 04:56:04 PM

dericwater: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

Never get into a debate with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
/Never debate about the futility of entering a land war with Asia.


...and I see someone beat me to it. Maybe I should read the entire thread before commenting? Doh!
 
2012-10-01 04:56:47 PM

Nadie_AZ: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

FTA: KEYWORDS HUMOR

I'm going to go with 'yes'.


Can we please stop greening satire websites about Romney's stupidity? At least until after the debates. I kind of need to know what's real and what's not in order to watch that shiat.
 
2012-10-01 05:03:01 PM

nevirus: You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.


"57 STATES! HAR HAR!"

"Do you really honestly believe that Obama thinks that there are 57 states in the Union?"

"...You're no fun."
 
2012-10-01 05:04:18 PM
The Republican party killed satire.
 
2012-10-01 05:04:34 PM

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Yeah, but where's the iocane powder?

/death is on the line, etc.
 
2012-10-01 05:04:56 PM

LessO2: Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?


We had one who prided himself in being an anti-intellectual and couldn't put together a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. We had another who was named "tricky" and seriously considered using nuclear weapons in Vietnam. Another thought we should have nuked the Soviets in a surprise attack on Christmas Eve just to rid the world of those damn commies...so this isn't too far off.
 
2012-10-01 05:05:18 PM
tenpoundsofcheese:

oh. where is the humor?

did he leave it you this time?


YOU are the secret Zinger ghost writer, aren't you!?
 
2012-10-01 05:06:24 PM

ExcedrinHeadache: [imageshack.us image 450x351]

"Wait a minute, wait a minute... ROMNEY, Ryan, ROMNEY, Ryan."


www.mediaite.com

"Oh, sweet Jesus!"
 
2012-10-01 05:08:10 PM

anfrind: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

Truly you have a dizzying intellect.


Gah! That was a much better line than my reference.
 
2012-10-01 05:09:35 PM

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


The Republican Caucus would like to have a word with you on that little mistruth...
 
2012-10-01 05:12:24 PM

Lando Lincoln: nevirus: You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.

"57 STATES! HAR HAR!"

"Do you really honestly believe that Obama thinks that there are 57 states in the Union?"

"...You're no fun."


Or

'Geez, effing lib, coulda stop defending and slobbering over your messiah for three minutes!?'
 
2012-10-01 05:15:30 PM

Bschott007: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

The Republican Caucus would like to have a word with you on that little mistruth...


This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.
 
2012-10-01 05:17:46 PM

physt: This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.


He needs the teleprompter at speeches because his black rage can only be restrained by scrolling pictures of naked white women.
 
2012-10-01 05:23:22 PM

busy chillin': [3.bp.blogspot.com image 201x215]

"Obama is so dumb."

"How dumb is he?" asks the crowd

"Obama is so dumb he uses a teleprompter!"


*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*


"You stink Obama! You are stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and your butt smells and you like to kiss your own butt!"

i.imgur.com

*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*
 
2012-10-01 05:32:21 PM

sprawl15: Never bring Zingers to a Mike and Ike Tarbaby fight.


/hey, it's a candy
 
2012-10-01 05:33:16 PM

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..

Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.


Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore. He or she is just excreting talking points (attempted zingers
 
2012-10-01 05:33:45 PM
Lenny_da_Hog: Christ, what an asshole.

Winner!
 
2012-10-01 05:34:58 PM

Kimothy: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

You forgot to mention to never get in a land war with Asia.

//Your post reminded me of that scene, except Romney isn't as charismatic as Vizzini


Romney is Vizzini after taking the iocane powder drink.
 
2012-10-01 05:37:03 PM

dericwater:

Romney is Vizzini after taking the iocane powder drink.


INCONCEIVABLE!
 
2012-10-01 05:41:20 PM

Corvus: The Republican party killed satire.


It was June 23, 1979. They served too much poeslaw at their pick-a-nick.
 
2012-10-01 05:44:04 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...


That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:16 PM

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


538 analysis is open to you. Read up on it. They use all the public polling data they can get, through history, to make their predictions. They were near spot on in 2008 and 2010. You can look at their record. The proof is there, you just need to look for it.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:41 PM

Kevin72: Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore.


I'm amazed there were 4 people who didn't have him on ignore.
 
2012-10-01 05:53:31 PM
www.mcgwire.com
 
2012-10-01 05:54:40 PM

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....



I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!
 
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