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(The New Yorker)   Update on Romney's plan to win debate with zingers: "We gave him what we thought was a foolproof line about the budget deficit and he somehow turned it into a crack about gay Mexicans"   (newyorker.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Mexico, Ann Romney  
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10494 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Oct 2012 at 2:33 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 03:45:34 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....
don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.
although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!
Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..
Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.
when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars
.



As demonstrated here:

tenpoundsofcheese:
the uh, difference is that uh, last time uh all he needed to do was hope and change and promise stuff.

this time, uh, he needs to uh, defend the horrible economy and uh is record. That is uh, when he uh always does really uh bad in press conferences (the few times he is willing to uh have them).

he doesn't like being challenged and uh, takes it uh personally (even whining that Hannity doesn't like him).

 
2012-10-01 03:46:07 PM  
when you've reached the point where people aren't sure anymore if its true or satire, you might want to think about shacking the etch-a-sketch on all levels.
 
2012-10-01 03:48:12 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "Teleprompter" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside a TV studio before. Because that's what the President uses, right? A teleprompter. And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult him in this new situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at us while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because we're right here. God you're so funny!
 
2012-10-01 03:49:52 PM  

DarwiOdrade: Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "Teleprompter" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside a TV studio before. Because that's what the President uses, right? A teleprompter. And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult him in this new situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at us while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because we're right here. God you're so funny!


why couldn't the titanic call for help when it hit the ice berg?

it was wearing mittens
 
2012-10-01 03:53:45 PM  
www.peoplepolitico.com
As everyone knows, our current healthcare reforms were modeled on the reforms Gerverner Romney put into place


www.nydailynews.com
I think this country deserves more from their President than just "monkey see, monkey do"

i218.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 03:53:54 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.


Now THAT is funny
 
2012-10-01 03:54:25 PM  

Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!


I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.
 
2012-10-01 03:54:49 PM  

JolobinSmokin: busy chillin': JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

hey now...that is no excuse...I am from the 70s as well.

But are you from a rural Oklahoma school who didn't get new fangled 'puter's until 1996?


nope. We started messing around with 'puters in second grade..about '82 or '83
 
2012-10-01 03:57:13 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!
 
2012-10-01 03:58:55 PM  

JolobinSmokin: sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Thank you sir an the other guy today who helped me, I now have a slight understand of posting photo's to websites.

As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.


if you use photobucket you can get the addon for firefox that will let you right click any image and u/l it to photobucket and it will give you the link codes you need to post it.

I also use bbcodeXtra for links of all sorts. anything in the clipboard can be made into an html link. or a bbcode link.
 
2012-10-01 04:02:06 PM  
A troll pops in and tries desperately to make the thread about Obama, but everyone is still ridiculing Romney.

I'm so proud of you, Fark.
 
2012-10-01 04:02:50 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


The funny thing is that while as a general rule anytime a politician's mouth is moving you can assume it's a lie, the difference between when a politician is searching for words and when they flow out of their mouth smoothly is usually that the former means that they are formulating a response to that particular question whereas the latter means they have a rehearsed response prepared for questions about that topic. I leave it up to you which you expect to be more inaccurate, but a large part of how polished most politicians are is that they already know what soundbytes they want out there and know how to take their answer away from a direct response and towards an excerpt from their stump speech.
 
2012-10-01 04:03:27 PM  
Debate drinking game:

1) Have the Dems do a shot every time Obama says "uh."
2) Have the Reps do a shot every time Romney says something stupid.
3) See which side dies of alcohol poisoning first.


4) Profit?
 
2012-10-01 04:05:04 PM  

jst3p: f you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.



But with a higher risk of goatse (or similar) substitution being used as a punishment for bandwidth looters.

/no, you don't want to google it from work, any more than you want to google 'santorum'
 
2012-10-01 04:05:05 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Yeah, because this guy is so great with words...
 
2012-10-01 04:05:40 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Don't need a brewery. Go to Whip In, the bar in Whole Foods downtown, Hopfields, etc.
You in Austin?
 
2012-10-01 04:06:22 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..

Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.

when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.


Now you tell me! I failed Database II because the professor was lying the entire time! That bastard!

"In.. uh uh huh. the uh first. uhm. uhuhuh yeah. The uh first hmmm line you uhuhuhuhuh yes, that's it. you uhuhuh need to uh ...... uh uh uh ... JCL. First uh uh uhuh uhuh." Shuffle feet. Stare at ceiling. Pick up chalk. Turn toward chalkboard. "uh uh uh uh." Turn around. Face class. Blink twice. Stare at ceiling. "Descriptors... uh uh uh uh. Fields. uh no. Records! Yes Records! uh uhg uh uh. "

For two hours!
 
2012-10-01 04:06:32 PM  

WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.


We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.
 
2012-10-01 04:06:38 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: coeyagi: You know, I don't usually advocate for dirty, underhanded, unethical behavior in a political campaign - that's usually firm GOP territory there

and yet you do it all the time...and then claim it is the GOP. Funny.

- but can you imagine if there was a Democratic party plant in the Romney camp who switched his notes to say "Ni**er-in-Chief"

and again you show your racism. surprise! why didn't you blame the GOP for this again?


Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays
 
2012-10-01 04:07:59 PM  
"So my friends hosted a beautiful afternoon gala in the Hampton's last weekend. And everyone was enjoying the caviar and brie...and then they served the wine and you should have seen the guests faces. All scrunched up and funny. I mean really funny. The wine tasted like vinegar! Vinegar I tell you. He had left the wine on the wet bar all night without the lid on the decanter!"
 
2012-10-01 04:08:53 PM  

www.brandiron.net

"No siempre soy una puta, pero cuando estoy, termina en 'a'."

 
2012-10-01 04:09:24 PM  

sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.


i47.tinypic.com

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!
 
2012-10-01 04:09:55 PM  

Citrate1007: tenpoundsofcheese:Derp derp OBAMA BAD

Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays


Seriously, just ignore him, he's trying to derail the subject
 
2012-10-01 04:10:27 PM  
taxdollars.ocregister.com
What Mitt's zinger coach may look like.
 
2012-10-01 04:10:30 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Now Texas has just gone too far
 
2012-10-01 04:12:26 PM  

clintster: [www.rawstory.com image 615x345]


Sweet Jesus


Romney/Ryan 2012
 
2012-10-01 04:12:44 PM  

Carn: WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.

Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!


I have one like this (without the branding)

www.saratogaresortandspa.com
 
2012-10-01 04:12:56 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Citrate1007: tenpoundsofcheese:Derp derp OBAMA BAD

Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays

Seriously, just ignore him, he's trying to derail the subject



Maybe if he tried telling us Obama uses a teleprompter or said "57 states," he might have better deflection results.
 
2012-10-01 04:13:20 PM  
Is it wrong that I hope Romney starts the debate by asking Obama during the handshake if he can call him Joe? Hey, Palin survived on zingers and saying that she wants to answer the questions America wants answered instead of the questions the moderator wants answered, why not try a repeat performance?

The idea that rattling Obama is easy enough that a smarmy remark or two will throw him off his game just astounds me. The only instance I've even heard of getting a rise out of him was the debt ceiling negotiations completely falling apart. The funny bit will be when Obama throws a rhetorical elbow and Romney gets frustrated enough to make a big play out of it which blows up in his face. Wonder if he'll want to make a bet?
 
2012-10-01 04:14:15 PM  

Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!


Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.
 
2012-10-01 04:14:23 PM  
i105.photobucket.com

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.
 
2012-10-01 04:15:43 PM  

KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)



If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?
 
2012-10-01 04:16:04 PM  

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 465x310]

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.


Romney/Ryan 2012: You may have all worlds but Europa, attempt no landings there.
 
2012-10-01 04:16:50 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this more to your liking:


www.radosh.net

"Car goes vroom." Christ, what an asshole.


FTFY.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:12 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


It's funny because it's true.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:16 PM  

Bill Frist: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x270]

Yeah, because this guy is so great with words...


Awesome:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 04:19:09 PM  

KingPsyz: Carn: WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.

Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)

[www.saratogaresortandspa.com image 534x680]


That's a beaut!
 
2012-10-01 04:19:22 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)


If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?


Luck... and putting it in the trunk (Toyotas have a nifty "milk box" plastic inset in their trunks)
 
2012-10-01 04:19:52 PM  

Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!


Well for that might I suggest the Red Zinger:

Ingredients
1 1/2 ounce(s) Johnnie Walker Red Label
2 ounce(s) ginger ale
1 twist lemon
Directions

Add Johnnie Walker Red Label and ginger ale.
Mix and serve over ice.
Garnish with twist of lemon.
 
2012-10-01 04:20:09 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Ha ha ha! Obama talks like a professor! I don't want no nerdy professors telling me what to do!
 
2012-10-01 04:20:37 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!

Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


Ok, that is awesome. I'd love to help some chicks get their growlers filled.

/really
 
2012-10-01 04:23:53 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)


If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?


Don't have to do anything special although I've never thought about it. You aren't allowed to drink out of them at the bar - you can only fill and take home so I assume if you can show that it's full you're probably alright. Better hope the seal is good I guess.
 
2012-10-01 04:25:02 PM  

The Larch: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Ha ha ha! Obama talks like a professor! I don't want no nerdy professors telling me what to do!


Nope; the "uh" talking point isn't an "Obama is a snob" criticism, it's a "Obama is a dullard" criticism. See, Obama uses a teleprompter because he is a puppet of the radical leftists who really run his administration, and when left to his own devices during an interview is prone to taking a moment after the question to think of a response and will stop during his response to think out his next few words. It doesn't matter if the answer he gives makes sense, the fact that it did not come out instantly without any hesitation shows he is dumb.
 
2012-10-01 04:27:18 PM  
Will there be a dance contest?
 
2012-10-01 04:29:36 PM  
He's Abraham Lincoln, Clarence Darrow, and the Roman orator Cicero put together. Next to that silver-tongued bastard I'm going to sound like someone with a head injury."

Yeah, next to my dog who died last spring, you already sound like someone with a bad head injury.

Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries.

Not for insulting people with head injuries by using their injury as a crutch for a joke, but because he insulted people with brain injuries by comparing his way of speaking to theirs. He obviously is about 30 more rungs don the ladder, in the 'potato' section.
 
2012-10-01 04:29:40 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


i512.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 04:29:59 PM  
Nice try libs but Mitt Romney has been reading old copies of Mad Magazine and he recently bought a first edition of "Garfield's Insults Put Downs and Slams" so say goodbye to the White House
 
2012-10-01 04:30:11 PM  

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 465x310]

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.


I thought the book said that the monoliths were all the same size, yet not really any size? So the miniature would be the same size as the one around Iapetus?

// But your caption was still funny! :)
 
2012-10-01 04:31:16 PM  
i really want to know what that "zinger" was...
 
2012-10-01 04:31:49 PM  
Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...
 
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