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(The New Yorker)   Update on Romney's plan to win debate with zingers: "We gave him what we thought was a foolproof line about the budget deficit and he somehow turned it into a crack about gay Mexicans"   (newyorker.com) divider line 325
    More: Amusing, Mexico, Ann Romney  
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10484 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Oct 2012 at 2:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



325 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-01 12:21:04 PM  
Is this satire?
 
2012-10-01 12:23:09 PM  
imageshack.us

They're just trolling us at this point.
 
2012-10-01 12:24:03 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


FTA: KEYWORDS HUMOR

I'm going to go with 'yes'.
 
2012-10-01 12:25:39 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


The Borowitz Report is a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.
 
2012-10-01 12:25:51 PM  

Nadie_AZ: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

FTA: KEYWORDS HUMOR

I'm going to go with 'yes'.


Between this and the Bachmann article about felafels, it's become really hard to tell anymore.
 
2012-10-01 12:26:52 PM  
I am going to add that I found this funny:

Reportedly, Mr. Romney's practice debates have gone worse than expected, with the former Massachusetts governor getting trounced by a variety of opponents, including the Apple personal assistant Siri.
 
2012-10-01 12:27:11 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Romney's campaign? Goddamn right it is!
 
2012-10-01 12:29:50 PM  

oldfarthenry: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Romney's campaign? Goddamn right it is!


I've never cared much for performance art.
 
2012-10-01 12:32:13 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


The headline was accurate: Debate Could Test Two Romney Weaknesses, Talking and Thinking
 
2012-10-01 12:34:13 PM  
media.tumblr.com

www.newyorker.com
 
2012-10-01 12:39:56 PM  
"This reminds me of the time the weekend cook asked if I wanted my Faberge Eggs scrambled or over easy! Right? Am I right, folks? Right? Because weekEND servants sometimes don't know which pantry has the brunch silver, right?? RIGHT??"
 
2012-10-01 12:41:52 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: oldfarthenry: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Romney's campaign? Goddamn right it is!

I've never cared much for performance art.


If we were going to have a complete joke as a candidate, we couldn't have done funnier than
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 12:59:50 PM  
That was brilliant.
 
2012-10-01 01:02:23 PM  

kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is

what passes for a a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.

FTFY
 
2012-10-01 01:10:46 PM  

Nadie_AZ: I am going to add that I found this funny:

Reportedly, Mr. Romney's practice debates have gone worse than expected, with the former Massachusetts governor getting trounced by a variety of opponents, including the Apple personal assistant Siri.


Another story of his "Romney in Final Push to Alienate Remaining Voters"

Very funny stuff. The only real question is which Fark account is his.
 
2012-10-01 01:18:10 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is what passes for a a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.

FTFY


Is this more to your liking:


www.radosh.net

"Car goes vroom." 
 
2012-10-01 01:30:33 PM  
www.marketwire.com
The entire GOP strategy in one simple package. It has all the elements. 

Zinger. Check
Doubling down. Check.
Fried chicken. Check.
Your bacon between two meat buns. Check.
Prepared by women in a kitchen. Check.
 
2012-10-01 01:47:32 PM  

mrshowrules: Nadie_AZ: I am going to add that I found this funny:

Reportedly, Mr. Romney's practice debates have gone worse than expected, with the former Massachusetts governor getting trounced by a variety of opponents, including the Apple personal assistant Siri.

Another story of his "Romney in Final Push to Alienate Remaining Voters"

Very funny stuff. The only real question is which Fark account is his.


Yes, I liked that second one a lot:

"We really got the ball rolling at the Olympics," Mr. Rhoades said. "I seriously doubted that Mitt could turn a visit to London into a show of international ineptitude, but he was like, 'Matt, trust me-I can do this.' "
 
2012-10-01 01:49:48 PM  
You libs won't be so snarky when Romney wipes the floor with Obama and the smirk off your faces during the debates. Romney is already ahead in the polls, the debates will seal his victory.
 
2012-10-01 02:02:47 PM  

vernonFL: You libs won't be so snarky when Romney wipes the floor with Obama and the smirk off your faces during the debates. Romney is already ahead in the polls, the debates will seal his victory.


That's pretty good. I can only hope you are honestly channeling them; I want these people humbled. They won't be, of course. They have their denial all set up in advance. But one can hope.
 
2012-10-01 02:19:42 PM  
I can't wait for Romney to lay into his, "Obama has ruined the economy" bit and then Obama comes back with, "Well, there you go again." 

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-10-01 02:30:00 PM  
Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.
 
2012-10-01 02:38:25 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Yes, but only by an RCH.
 
2012-10-01 02:39:00 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Who f*cking knows at this point. The gop has been so insane that almost everything that looks like satire can actually be what they really did.

The only obvious satire line at this point is: 'GOP decides they want to win, now appealing to moderates/center.'
 
2012-10-01 02:39:11 PM  
"We don't need no stinking budgets!"

api.ning.com
 
2012-10-01 02:39:45 PM  
Oh, Andy Borowitz. You try so hard to be funny but somehow always manage to fall flat.
 
2012-10-01 02:40:07 PM  
Subby is now an Onion subsidiary.
 
2012-10-01 02:40:32 PM  
Never bring Zingers to a Mike and Ike fight.
 
2012-10-01 02:41:16 PM  
Well it won't be pretty to have "former campaign staffer for Mitt Rmoney" on your resume
 
2012-10-01 02:41:45 PM  
Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....
 
2012-10-01 02:42:35 PM  
Gay Mexican basketball players, who like to do a little Juan-on-Juan?

"See it's funny because "Juan" is a male Hispanic name that sounds kind of like "one," and one-on-one is a variation on basketball that can be played with only two people. The people watching the debate will find that humorous, correct?" 
 
2012-10-01 02:43:27 PM  

sweetmelissa31: DjangoStonereaver: kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is what passes for a a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.

FTFY

Is this more to your liking:


[www.radosh.net image 400x263]

"Car goes vroom."


I say *adjusts monocle*, that car is indeed going Vroom. Hah! Hah! Hah!
 
2012-10-01 02:44:23 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Yes, however it is not funny.
 
2012-10-01 02:44:31 PM  

IrateShadow: Oh, Andy Borowitz. You try so hard to be funny but somehow always manage to fall flat.


The Siri line was damn funny.
 
2012-10-01 02:44:35 PM  
Wish i knew how to post a pic,

Zingers.jpeg

/twinky with yellow icing on top
 
2012-10-01 02:44:59 PM  

Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.


I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.
 
2012-10-01 02:45:28 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.
 
2012-10-01 02:46:10 PM  

Jackson Herring: sweetmelissa31: DjangoStonereaver: kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is what passes for a a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.

FTFY

Is this more to your liking:


[www.radosh.net image 400x263]

"Car goes vroom."

I say *adjusts monocle*, that car is indeed going Vroom. Hah! Hah! Hah!


Look at that S truck go!
 
2012-10-01 02:46:22 PM  

Jacobin: Well it won't be pretty to have "former campaign staffer for Mitt Rmoney" on your resume


I would hire that guy just for the inside stories.
 
2012-10-01 02:46:30 PM  
Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?
 
2012-10-01 02:47:23 PM  

JolobinSmokin: Wish i knew how to post a pic,

Zingers.jpeg

/twinky with yellow icing on top


http://postimage.org/ and follow the instructions.

or just hotlink that sh*t with the handy-dany mountain icon above your comment...click it and copypasta the url from your search...

then hope you don't post an ugly naked chick for stealing bandwidth.
 
2012-10-01 02:47:42 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


That's a very farking brave card for you to play there 'Pericles'
 
2012-10-01 02:48:05 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


HAHAHA! Now make a 57 states joke!
 
2012-10-01 02:48:24 PM  

busy chillin': JolobinSmokin: Wish i knew how to post a pic,

Zingers.jpeg

/twinky with yellow icing on top

http://postimage.org/ and follow the instructions.

or just hotlink that sh*t with the handy-dany mountain icon above your comment...click it and copypasta the url from your search...

then hope you don't post an ugly naked chick for stealing bandwidth a pickle surprise.

 
2012-10-01 02:49:58 PM  

LessO2: Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?


The nerve of that guy. Where are his Greek columns for goodness sake?
 
2012-10-01 02:51:05 PM  
Chuckled.

Would chuckle again.

+1
 
2012-10-01 02:51:39 PM  

sprawl15: busy chillin': JolobinSmokin: Wish i knew how to post a pic,

Zingers.jpeg

/twinky with yellow icing on top

http://postimage.org/ and follow the instructions.

or just hotlink that sh*t with the handy-dany mountain icon above your comment...click it and copypasta the url from your search...

then hope you don't post an ugly naked chick for stealing bandwidth a pickle surprise.

 
2012-10-01 02:51:44 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.
 
2012-10-01 02:51:57 PM  

Glenford: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

HAHAHA! Now make a 57 states joke!


And then ask where his real birf-certifcat is. It will be a home run.
 
2012-10-01 02:52:42 PM  

sprawl15: Look at that S truck go!


hahah I Get Jokes!
 
2012-10-01 02:53:42 PM  

VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.


Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.
 
2012-10-01 02:54:06 PM  
My favorite part was:

Ann Romney attempted to lower expectations for her husband's performance at this Wednesday's debate: "When Mitt starts working his mouth and goes off on some weird tangent about who knows what, please just tune him out. God knows that's how I've survived all these years."



At first I thought it was a serious article, and the realization that I was nearly duped by the author made the article funnier to me. I can't believe some of you didn't think that was funny.
 
2012-10-01 02:54:24 PM  
There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers
 
2012-10-01 02:54:41 PM  
FTFA: "Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries."

Now I have to go see if that's just snark by the New Yorker or for real.

That's how foobar this campaign is.
 
2012-10-01 02:54:48 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


I wasn't sure until they had Romney using the word "bastard." I'm pretty sure he thinks that's a swear word and would never say it out loud.
 
2012-10-01 02:54:55 PM  
this may be my first pic posting, woot
 
2012-10-01 02:55:01 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


Poe's law
 
2012-10-01 02:56:22 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


Keep it up, you're doing great. Don't listen to what they are saying about you.
 
2012-10-01 02:56:43 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: FTFA: "Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries."

Now I have to go see if that's just snark by the New Yorker or for real.

That's how foobar this campaign is.


An apology from Romney is the clear sign this is satire. That would never happen for real.
 
2012-10-01 02:57:09 PM  
 
2012-10-01 02:57:18 PM  

kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.


oh.
where is the humor?

did he leave it you this time?

not sure when racism became funny again to the left, but okay.
 
2012-10-01 02:57:20 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


seriously...and for zingers to really work the majority of the audience has to be on your side. If you don't have the backing of the crowd, even great zingers will fall flat.

Zingers ain't as easy as people think. I mean, just look at most Farkers.

zing!

*crickets*
 
2012-10-01 02:57:52 PM  
images.sodahead.com

Wow. Romney's just...wow.

/gets on the phone
//orders truckfuls of popcorn
///this is gonna be good~!
 
2012-10-01 02:58:03 PM  
You know, I don't usually advocate for dirty, underhanded, unethical behavior in a political campaign - that's usually firm GOP territory there - but can you imagine if there was a Democratic party plant in the Romney camp who switched his notes to say "Ni**er-in-Chief" when talking about Obama's war record? Romney has shown himself to be as free-thinking as Ron Burgundy - it would be the greatest collapse in political history.
 
2012-10-01 03:00:02 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


I have heard Romney go off-script. Not many "uh's", but instead comments about proper tree height, enjoying firing people, and how half of the country are losers that he doesn't worry about.

I think a couple of "uh's" are okay.
 
2012-10-01 03:00:42 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-01 03:00:46 PM  

lennavan: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Yes, however it is not funny.


No kidding. I actually follow Borowitz on Twitter but never read his longer-form stuff before. Christ, that's bad. Writers need to learn that being broadly sarcastic about Mitt Romney isn't the same thing as "nuanced satire."
 
2012-10-01 03:01:18 PM  
also the timing and delivery have to be perfect for jokes, especially zingers, to work.

I can see him reciting these in a matter-of-fact, memorized way that will just kill any chance it had of landing in a humorous way.
 
2012-10-01 03:01:39 PM  

coeyagi: You know, I don't usually advocate for dirty, underhanded, unethical behavior in a political campaign - that's usually firm GOP territory there

and yet you do it all the time...and then claim it is the GOP. Funny.

- but can you imagine if there was a Democratic party plant in the Romney camp who switched his notes to say "Ni**er-in-Chief"

and again you show your racism. surprise! why didn't you blame the GOP for this again?

 
2012-10-01 03:02:05 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: oh.
where is the humor?

did he leave it you this time?

not sure when racism became funny again to the left, but okay.


Stand up, take a few minutes, get a cup of coffee or something. Take a break and get yourself together, this sort of work just won't cut it.
 
2012-10-01 03:02:24 PM  
FTA: Reportedly, Mr. Romney's practice debates have gone worse than expected, with the former Massachusetts governor getting trounced by a variety of opponents, including the Apple personal assistant Siri.

Well, Siri is able to answer back, unlike a chair.
 
2012-10-01 03:02:26 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.

Don't be mad that just because your masters in the GOP can barely put together a sentence without stumbling all over themselves whenever having to answer a simple question about their stances on anything and everything.

/your projector is showing
 
2012-10-01 03:02:28 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
 
2012-10-01 03:03:04 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


You just keep clinging to that.
 
2012-10-01 03:06:27 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.


Apparently you didn't see him during the Democratic debates last time around.
 
2012-10-01 03:06:38 PM  

JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot


How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

imageshack.us

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

imageshack.us

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

imageshack.us 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.
 
2012-10-01 03:06:45 PM  
Any Republican that had a chance of winning the Presidency obviously sat this one out.
 
2012-10-01 03:07:01 PM  

LessO2: Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?


Romney: "Hey mouse. Say cheese." And then he nuked Euro Disney.
 
2012-10-01 03:07:06 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.
 
2012-10-01 03:07:23 PM  
Good plan. Romney is the master of witty ripostes. 

Zing, baby, ZING!
 
2012-10-01 03:08:24 PM  

retacundle: Vlad_the_Inaner: FTFA: "Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries."

Now I have to go see if that's just snark by the New Yorker or for real.

That's how foobar this campaign is.

An apology from Romney is the clear sign this is satire. That would never happen for real.


Valid point. But my googling did uncover a bunch of speculation on Romney's 1968 brain injury.

So I pondered for a moment. What if Willard's Corpus Callosum was dmagaed, so Willard actually had two separate brains in one skull. Could that explain his flip flops?

The hypothesis does't ring true though. That's because the brain's speech centers are control by the left hemisphere, and Willard has proved he can lie multi-directionally.
 
2012-10-01 03:10:06 PM  
Keywords humor

I you say so.
 
2012-10-01 03:11:05 PM  
i.imgur.com

"It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change, Mr. Romney. "
 
2012-10-01 03:11:52 PM  

sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:



He might find imgur.com easier. It's just a few clicks to do it. No accounts needed.
 
2012-10-01 03:11:53 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: retacundle: Vlad_the_Inaner: FTFA: "Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries."

Now I have to go see if that's just snark by the New Yorker or for real.

That's how foobar this campaign is.

An apology from Romney is the clear sign this is satire. That would never happen for real.

Valid point. But my googling did uncover a bunch of speculation on Romney's 1968 brain injury.

So I pondered for a moment. What if Willard's Corpus Callosum was dmagaed, so Willard actually had two separate brains in one skull. Could that explain his flip flops?

The hypothesis does't ring true though. That's because the brain's speech centers are control by the left hemisphere, and Willard has proved he can lie multi-directionally.


Corpus Colossal damage doesn't remove the ability to perform language tasks, such as speak or lie. Romney doesn't have the tell tale visual deficits of a split brain patient. That is because he is a robot and has split processor syndrome.
 
2012-10-01 03:12:17 PM  
t.qkme.me
 
2012-10-01 03:13:58 PM  
cdn-images.hollywood.com

Barack Obama says there are 57 states! Ziiing!
 
2012-10-01 03:14:29 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-01 03:14:43 PM  
Personally I'm glad that someone is finally representing the white male portion of the population. Those guys deserve a break.
 
2012-10-01 03:15:39 PM  
Is it just me or do these satirical articles seem to have more truth in them than satire? Or is just my biased opinion that the republican party is home to more inbred, slack jawed, bible thumping, pin headed, mouth breathers than ever before.
 
2012-10-01 03:15:48 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


I keep telling ya, Romney's passed Poe's Threshold...
 
2012-10-01 03:15:49 PM  
media.independentmail.com

"Who's got two thumbs and sucks at campaigning? That guy, 0bummer amirite?! With a zero in the spelling. haha Thanks for coming."
 
2012-10-01 03:15:50 PM  

sprawl15: First, I find a classy picture...


That pic is more awesome than every thread I've ever seen about Mitt Romney added together.
 
2012-10-01 03:16:35 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-01 03:17:07 PM  
"The New Yorker is stealing my ideas."
 
2012-10-01 03:17:24 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.


Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.
 
2012-10-01 03:17:35 PM  

Epoch_Zero: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 550x308]


Laughing OL

I think that is the first time I've ever seen one of my originals used by anyone else on Fark, you honor me
 
2012-10-01 03:17:51 PM  

THX 1138: sprawl15: First, I find a classy picture...

That pic is more awesome than every thread I've ever seen about Mitt Romney added together.


Then lay down a tarp before watching the video, because it's gonna blow your mind.
 
2012-10-01 03:17:53 PM  
The sad thing is the real news is more pathetic than the satire. Romney has been telling news agencies he has Rob Portman playing Obama and Portman has trounced him constantly. How? See, Portman has studied Obama well enough to know that when cornered on an issue he will tell outrageous lies that will play well to the audience, and Romney having to base his answers on the truth and avoiding unfair criticism of the president puts him at a disadvantage.

That's right: Romney has lowered expectations by saying that Obama is a notorious liar who will use attacks that he knows to be false. In that sort of situation, the veracious Romney will be seen in a negative light just because he refuses to play dirty.
 
2012-10-01 03:18:10 PM  

RminusQ: I May Be Crazy But...: oldfarthenry: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Romney's campaign? Goddamn right it is!

I've never cared much for performance art.

If we were going to have a complete joke as a candidate, we couldn't have done funnier than
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x321]


I think Rachel Maddow is quite sexy. I'd like to see her tits.
 
2012-10-01 03:18:35 PM  

kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.


I would phrase it thus:

The Borowitz Report is a humor column (for the New Yorker), yes. It is a more accurate phrasing.
 
2012-10-01 03:19:22 PM  
The man robot who wants to lead the free world is preparing by learning jokes
 
2012-10-01 03:20:14 PM  
The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.
 
2012-10-01 03:20:21 PM  

oldfarthenry: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Romney's campaign? Goddamn right it is!


Win.
 
2012-10-01 03:20:56 PM  
Awww, the poor conservatives are sad about actual humor. Don't worry, you have 4 more years of your cartoons of Obama as medicine man to make you roll on the floor laughing.
 
2012-10-01 03:21:19 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-01 03:21:28 PM  
Yes... No one delivers zingers like uptight mormons.

I hear Romney's been watching old episodes of The Donny and Marie Show to work on his comedy skills.
 
2012-10-01 03:21:37 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Never get into a debate with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
/Never debate about the futility of entering a land war with Asia.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:02 PM  

busy chillin': [media.independentmail.com image 607x1056]


Wow, that is a weird photo. The scale of the vehicle behind him makes him look simultaneously tall and tiny. Also, it looks like if he dropped his pants, he'd have two thin wooden dowels for legs.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:29 PM  
I know The Onion, and you, New Yorker, are no Onion.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:37 PM  
Well make that two articles about prominent GOP politicians which are satire yet were totally beleivable until they went totally over the top right at the end on FARK today. Sadly that sums up the current state of the Republican Party.
 
2012-10-01 03:23:40 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.


You gotta be a real loser to need to watch them to make up your mind at this point.
 
2012-10-01 03:24:20 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: The entire GOP strategy in one simple package. It has all the elements. 

Zinger. Check
Doubling down. Check.
Fried chicken. Check.
Your bacon between two meat buns. Check.
Prepared by women in a kitchen. Check.


Gaffe! Those were undocumented mexican women.
 
2012-10-01 03:24:27 PM  

sprawl15: Then lay down a tarp before watching the video, because it's gonna blow your mind.


Just watched it. Now i'm in a weird state of both terror and arousal at the same time.
 
2012-10-01 03:24:41 PM  
s9.postimage.org
 
2012-10-01 03:26:16 PM  

sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.




Thank you sir an the other guy today who helped me, I now have a slight understand of posting photo's to websites.

As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.
 
2012-10-01 03:27:13 PM  

lennavan: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

Yes, however it is not funny.


The problem I've always had with "The Onion" is that they make satire look easy, which makes everyone else think that they can do it, too.
They can't, and they should feel bad for trying.
 
2012-10-01 03:27:49 PM  
does this guy do The New Yorker's cartoons too?
 
2012-10-01 03:27:52 PM  

sweetmelissa31: DjangoStonereaver: kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is what passes for a a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.

FTFY

Is this more to your liking:

www.radosh.net

"Car goes vroom."


The cartoons in THE NEW YORKER are a lot funner than Borowitz.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:04 PM  

sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.


Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:15 PM  

ultraholland: I know The Onion, and you, New Yorker, are no Onion.


Well, to be fair, the New Yorker is a bit more on the refined side of things.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:20 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.


it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..
 
2012-10-01 03:28:31 PM  

JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.


hey now...that is no excuse...I am from the 70s as well.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:36 PM  

ghare: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

You gotta be a real loser to need to watch them to make up your mind at this point.


I plan on ignoring them entirely, because I already know everything I need to know about both candidates. But I pay way more attention than a sane person should. That said, I feel bad for the "low information, undecided voter", because they're not going to get any useful information out of the debate, either.

That said, it really would be nice if Romney would release A policy position. I mean, just ONE.
 
2012-10-01 03:28:50 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.


It's conservative humor, you have to grade on a curve. A sharp curve. A sharp, acute angled spike of a curve.
 
2012-10-01 03:29:01 PM  
"Shouts and Murmurs" in a recent episode was titled "I'm Joe Biden and I'll Be Your Server" and man...it killed.

/loves me some New Yorker
 
2012-10-01 03:29:04 PM  

JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.


I was born on the first day of 1970, so why don't you just back slowly off my lawn while I continue to admire you through my cross-hairs?
 
2012-10-01 03:30:02 PM  
www.rawstory.com
 
2012-10-01 03:30:22 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.


I think they're going to be incredibly painful. I'll probably drink beer and play Borderlands instead.
 
2012-10-01 03:30:36 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.


No, they are for drinking!
 
2012-10-01 03:31:23 PM  

MSFT: JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

I was born on the first day of 1970, so why don't you just back slowly off my lawn while I continue to admire you through my cross-hairs?


Ooh, we got a badass here! :P
 
2012-10-01 03:31:49 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..


Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.
 
2012-10-01 03:33:22 PM  
static7.businessinsider.com

Say what you like about me being a rich, out of touch, white guy, but at least you won't have to count the silverware when *I* leave the white house


i218.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 03:33:40 PM  
***THIS UNIT IS REMINDED OF AN AMUSING ANECDOTE
***THREE CARBON BASED LIFEFORMS FROM DIFFERENT DEMOGRAPHIC BACKGROUNDS ENTER AN ALCOHOL-SERVING ESTABLISHMENT

***SEARCHING FOR SETUP AND PUNCHLINE...............................................
 
2012-10-01 03:33:41 PM  

advex101: Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.

Apparently you didn't see him during the Democratic debates last time around.


the uh, difference is that uh, last time uh all he needed to do was hope and change and promise stuff.

this time, uh, he needs to uh, defend the horrible economy and uh is record. That is uh, when he uh always does really uh bad in press conferences (the few times he is willing to uh have them).

he doesn't like being challenged and uh, takes it uh personally (even whining that Hannity doesn't like him).
 
2012-10-01 03:34:42 PM  

sprawl15: THX 1138: sprawl15: First, I find a classy picture...

That pic is more awesome than every thread I've ever seen about Mitt Romney added together.

Then lay down a tarp before watching the video, because it's gonna blow your mind.


I just watched that. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die in seven days.
 
2012-10-01 03:35:24 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..

Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.


when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.
 
2012-10-01 03:35:31 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: [static7.businessinsider.com image 400x300]

Say what you like about me being a rich, out of touch, white guy, but at least you won't have to count the silverware when *I* leave the white house

[i218.photobucket.com image 400x400]


i45.tinypic.com

/zing!
 
2012-10-01 03:35:42 PM  
Borowitz's writing always strikes me as Onion-esque except the Onion makes it look effortless while Borowitz always seems to be trying really hard.
 
2012-10-01 03:36:11 PM  

jst3p: sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.


But it also carries with it a small but significant risk of another Pickle Incident. Which, while it would be awesome for all of us, would suck for the newbie currently being instructed.
 
2012-10-01 03:36:40 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen - I give you, the creator of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
 
2012-10-01 03:39:09 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
"Friendly seeming - I am Mitt Romney. Pandering attempt to seem normal - Those are some fancy raincoats you have there. Snarky good-humored - If my opponent wins, you all will be wearing those. Awkward - Ha Ha!"
 
2012-10-01 03:42:33 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
 
2012-10-01 03:42:46 PM  

busy chillin': JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

hey now...that is no excuse...I am from the 70s as well.


But are you from a rural Oklahoma school who didn't get new fangled 'puter's until 1996?
 
2012-10-01 03:42:47 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.


Prove it.
 
2012-10-01 03:42:53 PM  

Aidan: MSFT: JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

I was born on the first day of 1970, so why don't you just back slowly off my lawn while I continue to admire you through my cross-hairs?

Ooh, we got a badass here! :P


You know how some people are a mean drunk? Turns out I'm a mean sober.
Who knew.
 
2012-10-01 03:44:12 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


Tenpoundsofcrap can't pass a Turing test and you want him to prove something?
 
2012-10-01 03:44:13 PM  

Kibbler: "Shouts and Murmurs" in a recent episode was titled "I'm Joe Biden and I'll Be Your Server" and man...it killed.

/loves me some New Yorker


Yeah man! That one cracked me up so hard my wife came running in to see if I was OK.

It really is a great magazine; been reading it since I was a kid and learned a lot about the world from it growing up.
 
2012-10-01 03:45:02 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Good plan. Romney is the master of witty ripostes. 

Zing, baby, ZING!


Mitt Romney at a rainy NASCAR race:

Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks."

This is Mitt at his wittiest. Smug and condescending, laughing at poor people trying to stay dry.
 
2012-10-01 03:45:10 PM  
Romney: One of my friends that owns a nascar team asked me if I knew anything about Jesus. I told him the gardners cut the grass on tuesdays, but they aren't allowed into the house.
 
2012-10-01 03:45:34 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....
don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.
although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!
Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..
Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.
when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars
.



As demonstrated here:

tenpoundsofcheese:
the uh, difference is that uh, last time uh all he needed to do was hope and change and promise stuff.

this time, uh, he needs to uh, defend the horrible economy and uh is record. That is uh, when he uh always does really uh bad in press conferences (the few times he is willing to uh have them).

he doesn't like being challenged and uh, takes it uh personally (even whining that Hannity doesn't like him).

 
2012-10-01 03:46:07 PM  
when you've reached the point where people aren't sure anymore if its true or satire, you might want to think about shacking the etch-a-sketch on all levels.
 
2012-10-01 03:48:12 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "Teleprompter" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside a TV studio before. Because that's what the President uses, right? A teleprompter. And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult him in this new situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at us while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because we're right here. God you're so funny!
 
2012-10-01 03:49:52 PM  

DarwiOdrade: Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "Teleprompter" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside a TV studio before. Because that's what the President uses, right? A teleprompter. And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult him in this new situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at us while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because we're right here. God you're so funny!


why couldn't the titanic call for help when it hit the ice berg?

it was wearing mittens
 
2012-10-01 03:53:45 PM  
www.peoplepolitico.com
As everyone knows, our current healthcare reforms were modeled on the reforms Gerverner Romney put into place


www.nydailynews.com
I think this country deserves more from their President than just "monkey see, monkey do"

i218.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 03:53:54 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.


Now THAT is funny
 
2012-10-01 03:54:25 PM  

Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!


I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.
 
2012-10-01 03:54:49 PM  

JolobinSmokin: busy chillin': JolobinSmokin:
As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.

hey now...that is no excuse...I am from the 70s as well.

But are you from a rural Oklahoma school who didn't get new fangled 'puter's until 1996?


nope. We started messing around with 'puters in second grade..about '82 or '83
 
2012-10-01 03:57:13 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!
 
2012-10-01 03:58:55 PM  

JolobinSmokin: sprawl15: JolobinSmokin: this may be my first pic posting, woot

How I make picture:

First, I find a classy picture and copy the URL:

[imageshack.us image 320x239]

Then I hit up imageshack.us and paste it.

[imageshack.us image 682x376]

And then I copy what's in the HTML code box and do what's in the bottom right corner:

[imageshack.us image 710x540] 

If you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.



Thank you sir an the other guy today who helped me, I now have a slight understand of posting photo's to websites.

As you can tell I was born in the 70's

But stay on my lawn as long as you want.


if you use photobucket you can get the addon for firefox that will let you right click any image and u/l it to photobucket and it will give you the link codes you need to post it.

I also use bbcodeXtra for links of all sorts. anything in the clipboard can be made into an html link. or a bbcode link.
 
2012-10-01 04:02:06 PM  
A troll pops in and tries desperately to make the thread about Obama, but everyone is still ridiculing Romney.

I'm so proud of you, Fark.
 
2012-10-01 04:02:50 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


The funny thing is that while as a general rule anytime a politician's mouth is moving you can assume it's a lie, the difference between when a politician is searching for words and when they flow out of their mouth smoothly is usually that the former means that they are formulating a response to that particular question whereas the latter means they have a rehearsed response prepared for questions about that topic. I leave it up to you which you expect to be more inaccurate, but a large part of how polished most politicians are is that they already know what soundbytes they want out there and know how to take their answer away from a direct response and towards an excerpt from their stump speech.
 
2012-10-01 04:03:27 PM  
Debate drinking game:

1) Have the Dems do a shot every time Obama says "uh."
2) Have the Reps do a shot every time Romney says something stupid.
3) See which side dies of alcohol poisoning first.


4) Profit?
 
2012-10-01 04:05:04 PM  

jst3p: f you're uploading something off your computer, imageshack makes you create an account (though you can get around it with noscript or digging through page source). But it's good for hosting random things off the internet.

Hotlinking is orders of magnitude simpler.



But with a higher risk of goatse (or similar) substitution being used as a punishment for bandwidth looters.

/no, you don't want to google it from work, any more than you want to google 'santorum'
 
2012-10-01 04:05:05 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Yeah, because this guy is so great with words...
 
2012-10-01 04:05:40 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Don't need a brewery. Go to Whip In, the bar in Whole Foods downtown, Hopfields, etc.
You in Austin?
 
2012-10-01 04:06:22 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..

Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.

when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.


Now you tell me! I failed Database II because the professor was lying the entire time! That bastard!

"In.. uh uh huh. the uh first. uhm. uhuhuh yeah. The uh first hmmm line you uhuhuhuhuh yes, that's it. you uhuhuh need to uh ...... uh uh uh ... JCL. First uh uh uhuh uhuh." Shuffle feet. Stare at ceiling. Pick up chalk. Turn toward chalkboard. "uh uh uh uh." Turn around. Face class. Blink twice. Stare at ceiling. "Descriptors... uh uh uh uh. Fields. uh no. Records! Yes Records! uh uhg uh uh. "

For two hours!
 
2012-10-01 04:06:32 PM  

WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.


We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.
 
2012-10-01 04:06:38 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: coeyagi: You know, I don't usually advocate for dirty, underhanded, unethical behavior in a political campaign - that's usually firm GOP territory there

and yet you do it all the time...and then claim it is the GOP. Funny.

- but can you imagine if there was a Democratic party plant in the Romney camp who switched his notes to say "Ni**er-in-Chief"

and again you show your racism. surprise! why didn't you blame the GOP for this again?


Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays
 
2012-10-01 04:07:59 PM  
"So my friends hosted a beautiful afternoon gala in the Hampton's last weekend. And everyone was enjoying the caviar and brie...and then they served the wine and you should have seen the guests faces. All scrunched up and funny. I mean really funny. The wine tasted like vinegar! Vinegar I tell you. He had left the wine on the wet bar all night without the lid on the decanter!"
 
2012-10-01 04:08:53 PM  
www.brandiron.net

"No siempre soy una puta, pero cuando estoy, termina en 'a'." 
 
2012-10-01 04:09:24 PM  

sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.


i47.tinypic.com

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!
 
2012-10-01 04:09:55 PM  

Citrate1007: tenpoundsofcheese:Derp derp OBAMA BAD

Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays


Seriously, just ignore him, he's trying to derail the subject
 
2012-10-01 04:10:27 PM  
taxdollars.ocregister.com
What Mitt's zinger coach may look like.
 
2012-10-01 04:10:30 PM  

WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.


Now Texas has just gone too far
 
2012-10-01 04:12:26 PM  

clintster: [www.rawstory.com image 615x345]


Sweet Jesus

Romney/Ryan 2012
 
2012-10-01 04:12:44 PM  

Carn: WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.

Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!


I have one like this (without the branding)

www.saratogaresortandspa.com
 
2012-10-01 04:12:56 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Citrate1007: tenpoundsofcheese:Derp derp OBAMA BAD

Random person posting online =/= Bigoted GOP congressman trying to legislate discrimination against women/gays

Seriously, just ignore him, he's trying to derail the subject



Maybe if he tried telling us Obama uses a teleprompter or said "57 states," he might have better deflection results.
 
2012-10-01 04:13:20 PM  
Is it wrong that I hope Romney starts the debate by asking Obama during the handshake if he can call him Joe? Hey, Palin survived on zingers and saying that she wants to answer the questions America wants answered instead of the questions the moderator wants answered, why not try a repeat performance?

The idea that rattling Obama is easy enough that a smarmy remark or two will throw him off his game just astounds me. The only instance I've even heard of getting a rise out of him was the debt ceiling negotiations completely falling apart. The funny bit will be when Obama throws a rhetorical elbow and Romney gets frustrated enough to make a big play out of it which blows up in his face. Wonder if he'll want to make a bet?
 
2012-10-01 04:14:15 PM  

Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!


Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.
 
2012-10-01 04:14:23 PM  
i105.photobucket.com

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.
 
2012-10-01 04:15:43 PM  

KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)



If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?
 
2012-10-01 04:16:04 PM  

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 465x310]

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.


Romney/Ryan 2012: You may have all worlds but Europa, attempt no landings there.
 
2012-10-01 04:16:50 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this more to your liking:


www.radosh.net

"Car goes vroom." Christ, what an asshole.


FTFY.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:12 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


It's funny because it's true.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:16 PM  

Bill Frist: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x270]

Yeah, because this guy is so great with words...


Awesome:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 04:19:09 PM  

KingPsyz: Carn: WordyGrrl: Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!

I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers. If I drink for every Mitt mistake, I'd be able to kill a half-gallon of porter pretty quickly.

/nearly drowned during the Biden/Palin debate when she busted out with "maverick!" about 20 times in a row.

Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)

[www.saratogaresortandspa.com image 534x680]


That's a beaut!
 
2012-10-01 04:19:22 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)


If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?


Luck... and putting it in the trunk (Toyotas have a nifty "milk box" plastic inset in their trunks)
 
2012-10-01 04:19:52 PM  

Carn: Slaves2Darkness: The debates are not for watching, they are for lying down and avoiding.

No, they are for drinking!


Well for that might I suggest the Red Zinger:

Ingredients
1 1/2 ounce(s) Johnnie Walker Red Label
2 ounce(s) ginger ale
1 twist lemon
Directions

Add Johnnie Walker Red Label and ginger ale.
Mix and serve over ice.
Garnish with twist of lemon.
 
2012-10-01 04:20:09 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Ha ha ha! Obama talks like a professor! I don't want no nerdy professors telling me what to do!
 
2012-10-01 04:20:37 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!

Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


Ok, that is awesome. I'd love to help some chicks get their growlers filled.

/really
 
2012-10-01 04:23:53 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: KingPsyz: Now that is a travesty! They just opened up a new brewpub and brewery near me. I think there are at least 5 spots I can get one filled with just a couple minutes drive. Mine are all currently filled with homebrew, but the option is there.

/Port City for the VA peeps - good stuff!

I have one like this (without the branding)


If you refill those retail, how do you avoid open container laws while driving it home full?. Zip-ties on the lock-down?


Don't have to do anything special although I've never thought about it. You aren't allowed to drink out of them at the bar - you can only fill and take home so I assume if you can show that it's full you're probably alright. Better hope the seal is good I guess.
 
2012-10-01 04:25:02 PM  

The Larch: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Ha ha ha! Obama talks like a professor! I don't want no nerdy professors telling me what to do!


Nope; the "uh" talking point isn't an "Obama is a snob" criticism, it's a "Obama is a dullard" criticism. See, Obama uses a teleprompter because he is a puppet of the radical leftists who really run his administration, and when left to his own devices during an interview is prone to taking a moment after the question to think of a response and will stop during his response to think out his next few words. It doesn't matter if the answer he gives makes sense, the fact that it did not come out instantly without any hesitation shows he is dumb.
 
2012-10-01 04:27:18 PM  
Will there be a dance contest?
 
2012-10-01 04:29:36 PM  
He's Abraham Lincoln, Clarence Darrow, and the Roman orator Cicero put together. Next to that silver-tongued bastard I'm going to sound like someone with a head injury."

Yeah, next to my dog who died last spring, you already sound like someone with a bad head injury.

Later in the day, Mr. Romney's campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries.

Not for insulting people with head injuries by using their injury as a crutch for a joke, but because he insulted people with brain injuries by comparing his way of speaking to theirs. He obviously is about 30 more rungs don the ladder, in the 'potato' section.
 
2012-10-01 04:29:40 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


i512.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 04:29:59 PM  
Nice try libs but Mitt Romney has been reading old copies of Mad Magazine and he recently bought a first edition of "Garfield's Insults Put Downs and Slams" so say goodbye to the White House
 
2012-10-01 04:30:11 PM  

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 465x310]

...and so my species came here millions of years ago and placed one of these on the moon and another in orbit around Jupiter. Full sized, of course, not like this miniature. We had expected you to find them by now.


I thought the book said that the monoliths were all the same size, yet not really any size? So the miniature would be the same size as the one around Iapetus?

// But your caption was still funny! :)
 
2012-10-01 04:31:16 PM  
i really want to know what that "zinger" was...
 
2012-10-01 04:31:49 PM  
Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...
 
2012-10-01 04:32:16 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Obama is so dumb."

"How dumb is he?" asks the crowd

"Obama is so dumb he uses a teleprompter!"


*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*
 
2012-10-01 04:34:26 PM  
Mitt's gaffes and extremely forgettable performance in the republican debates were designed to lull Obama into a false sense of security. Now, Romney is poised to pounce on ole hapless Obama. Smart money says Obama flees the stage in tears before they even get to the third question.
 
2012-10-01 04:36:59 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Carn: sprawl15: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

We must have very different definitions of the word 'growler'.

[i47.tinypic.com image 161x312]

If there's another definition, I don't know it!

/beer!

Growler is slang for Vagina in rural New Zealand.


It sure is. When my kiwi wife gets drunk and starts asking women to "Show us your growler," I know I'm in for a great night. She's also becomes quite fond of the "c-word" after having a few.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:19 PM  
static.someecards.com
 
2012-10-01 04:38:20 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


It'll be a thousand times more productive than anything Romney's voice processor will be able to produce.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:35 PM  

Grungehamster: It doesn't matter if the answer he gives makes sense, the fact that it did not come out instantly without any hesitation shows he is dumb.


Republicans desperately wanted Obama to be as bad a speaker as Bush was. They didn't think Bush's hilarious speaking mistakes were Bush's fault; they thought it was all made up by the "liberal media." So, in retaliation, they immediately sought any evidence that Obama was as bad a speaker as Bush was. Unfortunately, with reality being all liberally biased, all they could cling to was "teleprompturz" and "he says 'uh' sometimes!" Regardless, they blasted that 'evidence' on their right-wing propaganda networks, like Fox, and here we are dealing with their drones.

You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.
 
2012-10-01 04:38:38 PM  

flux: busy chillin': [media.independentmail.com image 607x1056]

Wow, that is a weird photo. The scale of the vehicle behind him makes him look simultaneously tall and tiny. Also, it looks like if he dropped his pants, he'd have two thin wooden dowels for legs.


Assuming that that's Romney's vehicle, look closely at the right front tire.

Why did he park smack dab on a handicapped access curb ramp?
 
2012-10-01 04:38:55 PM  
Zingers are what desperate people rely on in hopes of getting out of the hole they're in.
 
2012-10-01 04:39:32 PM  
Damn it, is the Satire tag on a smoke break? I was starting to think this was real until I got to the part about Romney apologizing to people with head injuries. Then I was like, "no way he'd apologize to people with head injuries" and knew it was horse shiat.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:04 PM  

give me doughnuts: Debate drinking game:

1) Have the Dems do a shot every time Obama says "uh."
2) Have the Reps do a shot every time Romney says something stupid.
3) See which side dies of alcohol poisoning first.


4) Profit?


That's not fair to republicans. Obama will most likely be on sentence five before he hits an uh.

Romney will say something stupid by word two.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:29 PM  

COMALite J: flux: busy chillin': [media.independentmail.com image 607x1056]

Wow, that is a weird photo. The scale of the vehicle behind him makes him look simultaneously tall and tiny. Also, it looks like if he dropped his pants, he'd have two thin wooden dowels for legs.

Assuming that that's Romney's vehicle, look closely at the right front tire.

Why did he park smack dab on a handicapped access curb ramp?


Paying attention to stuff like that is for little people. If you make more than the fine every minute of the day, you park where you please.
 
2012-10-01 04:42:42 PM  

WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.


Black Star Co-op fills growlers if you're in or near Austin. 

/Good beer, too.
 
2012-10-01 04:42:49 PM  

Karne: Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.

I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.


I wonder if Rmoney's campaign staffed primarily by people looking to cash in with a tell all book
 
2012-10-01 04:43:06 PM  

falcon176: Nice try libs but Mitt Romney has been reading old copies of Mad Magazine


BREAKING: President Obama seriously injured at debates when Romney tries to turn him into a Fold-in
 
2012-10-01 04:44:28 PM  
I would recommend black jokes. Mitt must make as many of them in as short of a time as possible. Only then will moderates respect him for standing up to established societal taboos.
 
2012-10-01 04:45:27 PM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-01 04:48:57 PM  
All this talk of zingers lately made me have to run down to the Hostess Outlet for some of these:

farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2012-10-01 04:49:47 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Lionel Mandrake: Good plan. Romney is the master of witty ripostes. 

Zing, baby, ZING!

Mitt Romney at a rainy NASCAR race:

Approaching a group of poor people covered in cheap plastic rain ponchos to shield them from the deluge, Mitt laughed and said, "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks."

This is Mitt at his wittiest. Smug and condescending, laughing at poor people trying to stay dry.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 04:50:18 PM  
"Wait, what? It doesn't rhyme with 'ginger'?"
 
2012-10-01 04:50:41 PM  
Somebody needs to show Romney some Sealab so he thinks a zinger is calling Obama a mailbox head.
 
2012-10-01 04:50:44 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


You forgot to mention to never get in a land war with Asia.

//Your post reminded me of that scene, except Romney isn't as charismatic as Vizzini
 
2012-10-01 04:51:03 PM  
imageshack.us

"Wait a minute, wait a minute... ROMNEY, Ryan, ROMNEY, Ryan."
 
2012-10-01 04:55:02 PM  

Moodybastard: Karne: Mugato: Romney's own people seem to be bigger enemies to his campaign than Obama. They're almost bigger enemies to the Romney campaign than Romney.

I can't wait for all the "tell-all' interviews from his handlers to come out after the election. Much finger pointing to be had.

I wonder if Rmoney's campaign staffed primarily by people looking to cash in with a tell all book


I wonder if Romney is in this campaign just to make money off of contributions and launder it. Both make more sense than everyone being on the up and up.
 
2012-10-01 04:55:23 PM  
Yellow zingers are fine, but red zingers are practically invincible. Can't even knock them down with a barrel.
 
2012-10-01 04:55:27 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Level?
 
2012-10-01 04:56:04 PM  

dericwater: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

Never get into a debate with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
/Never debate about the futility of entering a land war with Asia.


...and I see someone beat me to it. Maybe I should read the entire thread before commenting? Doh!
 
2012-10-01 04:56:47 PM  

Nadie_AZ: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

FTA: KEYWORDS HUMOR

I'm going to go with 'yes'.


Can we please stop greening satire websites about Romney's stupidity? At least until after the debates. I kind of need to know what's real and what's not in order to watch that shiat.
 
2012-10-01 05:03:01 PM  

nevirus: You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.


"57 STATES! HAR HAR!"

"Do you really honestly believe that Obama thinks that there are 57 states in the Union?"

"...You're no fun."
 
2012-10-01 05:04:18 PM  
The Republican party killed satire.
 
2012-10-01 05:04:34 PM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


Yeah, but where's the iocane powder?

/death is on the line, etc.
 
2012-10-01 05:04:56 PM  

LessO2: Holy Christ, the guy who wants access to the nuclear codes is dependent on zingers?


We had one who prided himself in being an anti-intellectual and couldn't put together a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. We had another who was named "tricky" and seriously considered using nuclear weapons in Vietnam. Another thought we should have nuked the Soviets in a surprise attack on Christmas Eve just to rid the world of those damn commies...so this isn't too far off.
 
2012-10-01 05:05:18 PM  
tenpoundsofcheese:

oh. where is the humor?

did he leave it you this time?


YOU are the secret Zinger ghost writer, aren't you!?
 
2012-10-01 05:06:24 PM  

ExcedrinHeadache: [imageshack.us image 450x351]

"Wait a minute, wait a minute... ROMNEY, Ryan, ROMNEY, Ryan."


www.mediaite.com

"Oh, sweet Jesus!"
 
2012-10-01 05:08:10 PM  

anfrind: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

Truly you have a dizzying intellect.


Gah! That was a much better line than my reference.
 
2012-10-01 05:09:35 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.


The Republican Caucus would like to have a word with you on that little mistruth...
 
2012-10-01 05:12:24 PM  

Lando Lincoln: nevirus: You'd think they'd be embarrassed to run with those two things, but I find many Republican voters simply don't have a sense of shame. They repeat ANY anti-Obama talking point, no matter how retarded.

"57 STATES! HAR HAR!"

"Do you really honestly believe that Obama thinks that there are 57 states in the Union?"

"...You're no fun."


Or

'Geez, effing lib, coulda stop defending and slobbering over your messiah for three minutes!?'
 
2012-10-01 05:15:30 PM  

Bschott007: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

The Republican Caucus would like to have a word with you on that little mistruth...


This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.
 
2012-10-01 05:17:46 PM  

physt: This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.


He needs the teleprompter at speeches because his black rage can only be restrained by scrolling pictures of naked white women.
 
2012-10-01 05:23:22 PM  

busy chillin': [3.bp.blogspot.com image 201x215]

"Obama is so dumb."

"How dumb is he?" asks the crowd

"Obama is so dumb he uses a teleprompter!"


*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*


"You stink Obama! You are stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and your butt smells and you like to kiss your own butt!"

i.imgur.com

*roaring cheers and applause from the large gathering of idiots*
 
2012-10-01 05:32:21 PM  

sprawl15: Never bring Zingers to a Mike and Ike Tarbaby fight.


/hey, it's a candy
 
2012-10-01 05:33:16 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

don't be harsh: "uh"bama will do fine.

although the youtube clips of his "uh"s are funny.

Oh yeah, real highbrow humor there. "Here's a guy saying "uh" a hundred times!

Hilarious.

it is uh, about uh, how many uh uh times uh he says it in a uhh press conference
since when is the uh bar about being "highbrow" humor? uh..

Well, we all know you're not intelligent enough for highbrow. However, it's funny to me that you pay more attention to pauses than words.


Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore. He or she is just excreting talking points (attempted zingers
 
2012-10-01 05:33:45 PM  
Lenny_da_Hog: Christ, what an asshole.

Winner!
 
2012-10-01 05:34:58 PM  

Kimothy: phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers

You forgot to mention to never get in a land war with Asia.

//Your post reminded me of that scene, except Romney isn't as charismatic as Vizzini


Romney is Vizzini after taking the iocane powder drink.
 
2012-10-01 05:37:03 PM  

dericwater:

Romney is Vizzini after taking the iocane powder drink.


INCONCEIVABLE!
 
2012-10-01 05:41:20 PM  

Corvus: The Republican party killed satire.


It was June 23, 1979. They served too much poeslaw at their pick-a-nick.
 
2012-10-01 05:44:04 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...


That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:16 PM  

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


538 analysis is open to you. Read up on it. They use all the public polling data they can get, through history, to make their predictions. They were near spot on in 2008 and 2010. You can look at their record. The proof is there, you just need to look for it.
 
2012-10-01 05:52:41 PM  

Kevin72: Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore.


I'm amazed there were 4 people who didn't have him on ignore.
 
2012-10-01 05:53:31 PM  
www.mcgwire.com
 
2012-10-01 05:54:40 PM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....



I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!
 
2012-10-01 05:54:44 PM  

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


FiveThirtyEight aggregates all the major polls, and has very clear statements about their methodology and the ways they account for bias (one way or the other) in their constituent polls. Unskewed Polls is also clear about their methodology -- and their transparency makes it plainly obvious that their methodology is terrible, and their only purpose is to keep the bubble intact. It's like the difference between the Smithsonian and the Creation Museum -- the Smithsonian may not be totally comprehensive, but it's pretty clear they're not out to present a twisted view of reality like the Creation Museum is.
 
2012-10-01 05:55:26 PM  

Greil: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Meanwhile, FiveThirtyEight has Obama at an 85% chance of winning in November, and a 98% chance if the election was held today.

Better hope those vote suppression and fraud tactics work out for ya, GOP...

That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


538 has had a great track record in predicting elections. Not really the same as "unskewing" polls to make your candidate look good.
 
2012-10-01 05:56:01 PM  

thurstonxhowell: Kevin72: Get with the program, Cameron. In yesterday's threadshiat, four of us came out for putting Cheese on ignore.

I'm amazed there were 4 people who didn't have him on ignore.


I don't ignore anybody...ignore is f+++++carrier lost++++
 
2012-10-01 05:58:43 PM  

Greil: That's really cool news, but do you ever wonder if we farkers might not be using fivethirtyeight in the same way republicans refer to unskewed polls and rasmussen? Really, I'm asking. It has some very nice, comforting numbers but I see almost no other poll links around here.


That's the privilege accuracy and transparency buy you. Remember that 538 is a massive aggregator; there's not a lot of point bringing up any one poll instead of 538, because by the time you've heard about it, if it's that interesting a contrast Silver already wrote a blog post about it and updated his model if he thought he needed to.
 
2012-10-01 05:59:03 PM  

VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.
 
2012-10-01 06:01:11 PM  

KingPsyz: Mr. Breeze: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

Uhhhh... This was what I uhhhh... was thinking as well.

Now THAT is funny


Look, all I'm saying is that if I made a drinking game out of it, I'd probably be dead of alcohol poisoning by the end of the night. I guess we'll have to see who's right in 2 days.
 
2012-10-01 06:02:18 PM  

intelligent comment below: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!


His numbers collapsed:

electoral-vote.com
 
2012-10-01 06:02:37 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.


Obama became president because he slings speeches like he's hopped up on Aaron-Sorkin pills. GWB became president, among other things, because of how experienced and smart his campaign machine was. Romney's campaign is the worst in recent memory.
 
2012-10-01 06:03:07 PM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.


Most of what I was thinking under "the Bush administration smartass" was, "How much longer do we have to endure this smartass, anyway?"

/commas
 
2012-10-01 06:04:20 PM  
Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.
 
2012-10-01 06:04:25 PM  

Corvus: intelligent comment below: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!

His numbers collapsed:

[electoral-vote.com image 850x240]


Due to the meltdown, though. When things go bad, people seek continuity in leadership. Its one of the reasons why GWB's approval skyrocketed after 9/11, his epic PR machine aside. However, note how quickly McCain's lead did an about face.
 
2012-10-01 06:05:27 PM  

ExcedrinHeadache: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.

Most of what I was thinking under "the Bush administration smartass" was, "How much longer do we have to endure this smartass, anyway?"

/commas


Go fark yourself funny man.
 
2012-10-01 06:06:37 PM  

Mr. Breeze: ExcedrinHeadache: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.

Most of what I was thinking under "the Bush administration smartass" was, "How much longer do we have to endure this smartass, anyway?"

/commas

Go fark yourself funny man.


Fun go man self farky you.
 
2012-10-01 06:11:05 PM  

PonceAlyosha: Corvus: intelligent comment below: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


I know! Everyone remembers how horrible 0bama was in the 2008 debates!

His numbers collapsed:

[electoral-vote.com image 850x240]

Due to the meltdown, though. When things go bad, people seek continuity in leadership. Its one of the reasons why GWB's approval skyrocketed after 9/11, his epic PR machine aside. However, note how quickly McCain's lead did an about face.


So there was a crisis so they went with continued leadership of voting for the opposition party? Huh?!?!?
 
2012-10-01 06:13:18 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.


Well, it's better than everything he does manage to say between the "ums" being farking retarded like Romney. But keep grasping at those straws. Obama also thinks there are 57 states!
 
2012-10-01 06:13:35 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.


That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.
 
2012-10-01 06:14:06 PM  

Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,


Haha no.
 
2012-10-01 06:15:21 PM  

Mr. Breeze: ExcedrinHeadache: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.

Most of what I was thinking under "the Bush administration smartass" was, "How much longer do we have to endure this smartass, anyway?"

/commas

Go fark yourself funny, man.


Fixed that for you.

And thanks, but I'm saving that for the next Sophia Vergara thread in Entertainment.
 
2012-10-01 06:17:39 PM  

Mr. Breeze: ExcedrinHeadache: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.

Most of what I was thinking under "the Bush administration smartass" was, "How much longer do we have to endure this smartass, anyway?"

/commas

Go fark yourself funny man.


Go fark! yourself? funny, man.
 
2012-10-01 06:21:48 PM  

DamnYankees: Is this satire?


(pulls up link)
it appears that the only New Yorker links approved here
are the ones from the column meant as satire.
this is getting into examiner/wampner territory.
not cool.
 
2012-10-01 06:22:33 PM  

kingoomieiii: DamnYankees: Is this satire?

The Borowitz Report is a humor column for the New Yorker, yes.


Six pages and the little graphic is still 'amusing' instead of 'satire'.
Who submits this shiat?
Who approves it?
 
2012-10-01 06:23:12 PM  
media.reason.com

"I did what? Obama's the one who went around apologizing to people with head injuries.
I have never apologized for a head injury. That's how much I love America.
Head injuries. Purple. Swelling."
 
2012-10-01 06:26:54 PM  

Corvus: So there was a crisis so they went with continued leadership of voting for the opposition party? Huh?!?!?


No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead. History, how does it work?
 
2012-10-01 06:28:18 PM  
Rmoney always seemed more like a Ding Dong rather than a Zinger man. Ryan is of course a Twink(ie)
 
2012-10-01 06:31:09 PM  

teto85: Rmoney always seemed more like a Ding Dong rather than a Zinger man. Ryan is of course a Twink(ie)


Ryan is actually an otter, not a twink. otter (n): A [gay] man who is hairy all over his body, but is smaller in frame and weighs considerably less than a bear.

An otter:

farm3.static.flickr.com

Paul Ryan:

abcnews.go.com

Romney is a daddy.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:04 PM  

sprawl15: physt: This was when Barackula pimp slapped the entire assembled Republican Caucus so badly Fox News had to cut away from it.

I bet Obama needs the teleprompter to keep him on task so he doesn't extemporaneously unload on the Retarlicans.

He needs the teleprompter at speeches because his black rage can only be restrained by scrolling pictures of naked white women.


Black Dynamite for President
 
2012-10-01 06:33:20 PM  

PonceAlyosha: Corvus: So there was a crisis so they went with continued leadership of voting for the opposition party? Huh?!?!?

No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead. History, how does it work?


But Obama's number shot up during the debates. That was my point. You bring up thing you think helped McCain doesn't disprove that in any way.

You think the financial crisis helped McCain?
 
2012-10-01 06:33:27 PM  
He He He Gay Mexican Cracks

He He
 
2012-10-01 06:34:39 PM  

PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?


Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?
 
2012-10-01 06:36:25 PM  

Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?


I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.
 
2012-10-01 06:37:29 PM  

PonceAlyosha: Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?

I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.


But the data you posted does show an immediate bump for McCain coinciding with the financial crisis. So yes, it did help him in the extremely short term, according to your datums.
 
2012-10-01 06:57:55 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 07:23:49 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Look, all I'm saying is that if I made a drinking game out of it, I'd probably be dead of alcohol poisoning by the end of the night. I guess we'll have to see who's right in 2 days.



I don't drink and haven't touched the stuff for over a year. Also hate watching political circle jerks and speeches BUT I think I might do the drinking game thing and actually watch. Just for the lulz. With the running fark commentary on the laptop. This Wednesday is going to be great. Thurs my liver will be hating me though.
 
2012-10-01 07:23:53 PM  

PonceAlyosha: PonceAlyosha: Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?

I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.

But the data you posted does show an immediate bump for McCain coinciding with the financial crisis. So yes, it did help him in the extremely short term, according to your datums.


You did not just use the word "datums"

Did not
 
2012-10-01 07:25:06 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: PonceAlyosha: PonceAlyosha: Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?

I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.

But the data you posted does show an immediate bump for McCain coinciding with the financial crisis. So yes, it did help him in the extremely short term, according to your datums.

You did not just use the word "datums"

Did not


It's the plural of datas.
 
2012-10-01 07:40:14 PM  
Datums is what Bears fans ask for when they have an upset stomach.

You know

DA tums.
 
2012-10-01 07:46:06 PM  

sprawl15: Ctrl-Alt-Del: PonceAlyosha: PonceAlyosha: Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?

I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.

But the data you posted does show an immediate bump for McCain coinciding with the financial crisis. So yes, it did help him in the extremely short term, according to your datums.

You did not just use the word "datums"

Did not

It's the plural of datas.


Which as you know is the injunctive form of "dates". I don't understand why science is gauged by fruits and why they're not anecdotes, but I'm sure it works out somehow.
 
2012-10-01 07:53:00 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: PonceAlyosha: PonceAlyosha: Corvus: PonceAlyosha: No. The financial crisis happens, McCain automatically gets a bump. Then he farked it up with his "suspending his campaign" and Obama took the final lead History, how does it work?

Yes he took the lead DURING THE DEBATES. Which was the point I was making. Reading, how does it work?

I was confused and thought you were arguing the opposite. I must have either misread something as sarcasm or misidentified a pronoun somewhere.

But the data you posted does show an immediate bump for McCain coinciding with the financial crisis. So yes, it did help him in the extremely short term, according to your datums.

You did not just use the word "datums"

Did not


Isn't "Datums" what Lt. Yar called Data right after they did it?
 
2012-10-01 07:53:40 PM  

NeverDrunk23: Yellow zingers are fine, but red zingers are practically invincible. Can't even knock them down with a barrel.


I just wanted to say this made my day.

//DKC for the win
 
2012-10-01 07:55:22 PM  
As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.
 
2012-10-01 08:46:39 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.


I have a loose theory that it was a gay Mexican-American who was a cosmetician (apologize for the stereotype) that applied the 10 gallons of tanner to Romney's face just for lulz. Alternately anyone who just thought he was a major league douche could have done it and it would have been brilliant.
 
2012-10-01 08:50:37 PM  

mrshowrules: I have a loose theory that it was a gay Mexican-American who was a cosmetician (apologize for the stereotype) that applied the 10 gallons of tanner to Romney's face just for lulz. Alternately anyone who just thought he was a major league douche could have done it and it would have been brilliant.


Or it was Mitt's idea.

"I need to appeal to the Mexicans! Fire my make-up guy and get me a Mexican! Gay of course!"
 
2012-10-01 08:57:55 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.


As a straight Euro-American, I'd just like to say... learn to satire. That is all.
 
2012-10-01 09:00:08 PM  

Mugato: mrshowrules: I have a loose theory that it was a gay Mexican-American who was a cosmetician (apologize for the stereotype) that applied the 10 gallons of tanner to Romney's face just for lulz. Alternately anyone who just thought he was a major league douche could have done it and it would have been brilliant.

Or it was Mitt's idea.

"I need to appeal to the Mexicans! Fire my make-up guy and get me a Mexican! Gay of course!"


I guess I just feel that the working man will stop doing shiat for the rich people if they get annoyed enough. Case in point, if I was in charge of the food service for that $50K a plate fund raiser for Romney, I would have had by balls in every one of those plates before it was served. I get one of the waiters photographing it for posterity. Just saying. I realize that people working these jobs actually need the work to put food on their families and all.
 
2012-10-01 09:29:33 PM  

Renart: WordyGrrl: I deeply regret that I live in central Texas, where there are no breweries that refill growlers.

Black Star Co-op fills growlers if you're in or near Austin. 

/Good beer, too.


Woo hoo! I'm about an hour or so north of Austin, and this place definitely sounds roadtrip-worthy. Thanks for the info. You're a wonderful human being!
 
2012-10-01 09:41:12 PM  

Halli: Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,

Haha no.


I wasn't joking.

.

thurstonxhowell: Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.

That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.



constituency [ kuhn-stich-oo-uhn-see ]

3. any body of supporters, customers, etc.; clientele

Thanks for trying. And I'll try to take Fark. More seriously.
 
2012-10-01 10:14:43 PM  
if Paul Heyman and Punk kicked JR and Cole out and took over commentary for the rest of the night that would be a win
 
2012-10-01 10:15:26 PM  

falcon176: if Paul Heyman and Punk kicked JR and Cole out and took over commentary for the rest of the night that would be a win


god dammit I did it again.
fark you libs and your liberal conspiracies
 
2012-10-01 11:07:38 PM  

mrshowrules: FuryOfFirestorm: As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.

I have a loose theory that it was a gay Mexican-American who was a cosmetician (apologize for the stereotype) that applied the 10 gallons of tanner to Romney's face just for lulz. Alternately anyone who just thought he was a major league douche could have done it and it would have been brilliant.


He seems like the kinda guy that would be dumb enough to talk down to someone about to put chemicals on his face, or someone about to handle his food behind closed doors, or someone about to administer medication to his sick child.
 
2012-10-01 11:08:42 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Halli: Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,

Haha no.

I wasn't joking.

.thurstonxhowell: Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.

That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.


1. You're a right-wing shill, you were never going to vote for Obama.

2. You weren't just saying Obama says "umm" a lot, you were pushing the weak "Teleprompter" meme and implying Obama is an idiot because he always uses a Teleprompter and says "umm" a lot. People weren't disagreeing about the "umm" point, it was the other right-wing talking points you were shilling.

Seriously, it's one thing to shill in a bunch of threads and then come to this one and claim to consider voting for Obama, but to do both in one thread is almost as stupid as deciding who to vote for based on what random strangers on the Internet say.
 
2012-10-01 11:52:32 PM  

The First Four Katy Perry Albums: FuryOfFirestorm: As a gay Mexican-American, I'd just like to say: "F*ck you, Mitt".

That is all.

As a straight Euro-American, I'd just like to say... learn to satire. That is all.


Whether or not it was satire, my statement still stands.

And f*ck Paul Ryan too.
 
2012-10-01 11:59:02 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: tenpoundsofcheese: when he starts throwing the "uhs" then you know that his words that follow them are lies.
Well known trait of liars.

Prove it.


Uh, tenpoundsofcheese doesn't molest children.

Uh, tenpoundsofcheese has a job.

Uh, tenpoundsofcheese has more than one neuron.
 
2012-10-02 12:41:59 AM  

Mr. Breeze: constituency [ kuhn-stich-oo-uhn-see ]

3. any body of supporters, customers, etc.; clientele

Thanks for trying. And I'll try to take Fark. More seriously.


If you're seriously saying that you might change your vote over a few anonymous comments on Fark, then you're not taking your right to vote seriously and should be ashamed of yourself.

Talk about a shallow and stupid thing to factor into your voting.
 
2012-10-02 12:51:09 AM  
Two actual zingers from news coverage of Romney's pre-debate rally at Wings Over the Rockies, an air museum in Colorado (from CBS4 coverage, transcribed by me)...

Mitt: "We've had 43 straight months of unemployment above 8%, and what does the President have to say to all this? He says 'Forward'...I think *forewarned* is a better term."

Wild applause and hooting from crowd

Mitt: "A friend of mine said he doesn't just like picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers."

smattering of laughs

These are the actual Mitt Romney jokes, folks. Pathetic.

/x-post-from-other-zinger-thread-but-hey-its-new-info
 
2012-10-02 01:10:00 AM  

fqhollis: Two actual zingers from news coverage of Romney's pre-debate rally at Wings Over the Rockies, an air museum in Colorado (from CBS4 coverage, transcribed by me)...

Mitt: "We've had 43 straight months of unemployment above 8%, and what does the President have to say to all this? He says 'Forward'...I think *forewarned* is a better term."

Wild applause and hooting from crowd

Mitt: "A friend of mine said he doesn't just like picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers."

smattering of laughs

These are the actual Mitt Romney jokes, folks. Pathetic.

/x-post-from-other-zinger-thread-but-hey-its-new-info


Well, to be fair, he's speaking from what he knows. After all, who knows better about picking losers than Mitt "I like to fire people" Romney?

/zoom zoom zoom
 
2012-10-02 01:12:08 AM  
I don't know what is funnier, the democrats thinking Obama will be able to back up anything he says as facts or...wait....I guess you're right! That IS satire!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2012-10-02 01:21:04 AM  

WaffleStomper: I don't know what is funnier, the democrats thinking Obama will be able to back up anything he says as facts or...wait....I guess you're right! That IS satire!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Another poor soul that sounds really tired
 
2012-10-02 01:35:42 AM  

Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.


www.blogcdn.com

Damn, you got me, yeah I thought Bush was a complete moron. He was quite literally the worst thing to happen to this country in a long time. But you know what? You know what the difference is between people like you and people like me? I know how to look past my hatred(which I do not allow to dominate my life and/or decisions)and respect the office in which the man holds and the people he represents.

You and the other shills around here do no such thing. You, and those like you, represent the worst of what our country has to offer and are nothing more than a scourge upon not only our republic as it stands, but the entire human race as far as I'm concerned.

Do you know what those people that hate us so much see? It's the same thing you see every time you start frothing at the mouth every time someone mentions anything even remotely related to Obama. You are what they see, you are what they hate. You are them. You are the enemy you so hate, and every time you idiots open your mouths you become those people you so loathe. They say the same thing you do: See how those people are? That's how they all are!

Time to invest in a mirror, Skippy. You are our own worst enemy, you and the rest of the shills are all cowards of the first degree.
 
2012-10-02 03:20:00 AM  

phritz: There are a lot of angles on how stupid Romney's "Zingers" strategy is. What I haven't heard discussed, though, is how telling your opponent the details of your debate prep and strategy a week before the actual debates is actually pretty goddamn stupid too.

Unless this is all a clever head fake, and Romney is in fact NOT coming prepared with zingers, meaning that Obama won't be able to use any of his clever comebacks. Or maybe he thinks that Obama will think that it's a headfake and isn't bothering to prepare for zingers, when, in fact, Romney will be coming filled to the ears with zingers. Or, maybe, Romney, knowing that Obama will think that Romney is trying to lull him into not preparing for zingers by misleadingly talking about his zingers, will not prepare any zingers, thus achieving first successful Double-opposite-zinger-fakeout since the Truman administration.

/through the looking glass here people
//zingers


I am not a great fool, so i can clearly not choose the zingers at KFC.
 
2012-10-02 05:59:02 AM  
I know some Romney zingers, he could reuse these:

"Obama is taking Americans on a course that is extremely foreign to us. It's a pathway to become like Europe, and Europe doesn't work there. It's never going to work here. It's even possible we could be on a pathway to become California -- I don't want that either."

"I'm not concerned about the very poor."

"There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. ... My job is not to worry about those people."

"Corporations are people, my friend... of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend."

"I like being able to fire people who provide services to me."

"I'll take a lot of credit for the fact that the American auto industry's come back."

"My dad, as you probably know, was the governor of Michigan and was the head of a car company. But he was born in Mexico... and had he been born of, uh, Mexican parents, I'd have a better shot at winning this."
 
2012-10-02 06:19:31 AM  
"I can't even come close to holding my own in a debate against this guy, but I should be President. Because, I really WANT to be President! So there's that."
 
2012-10-02 07:43:22 AM  

Delay: "I'll take a lot of credit for the fact that the American auto industry's come back."


This one I can't even begin to comprehend. What possible effect could Mitt Romney, unemployed private citizen individually have on the rejuvenation of American auto manufacture?
 
2012-10-02 10:44:06 AM  

FTA NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)-With the first Presidential debate just two days away, G.O.P. nominee Mitt Romney has been working intensively on two skills that have eluded him throughout the campaign: talking and thinking.



25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-02 10:46:17 AM  

Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....



Herpty derp much?




www.dcfunctional.com

3.bp.blogspot.com

melaniekillingervowell.files.wordpress.com

lh3.ggpht.com

www.csmonitor.com 
 
2012-10-02 12:16:37 PM  
Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

What, did they not watch the debates four years ago when he didn't have prompters? Sheesh.

Trolling is *hard*.
 
2012-10-02 12:21:25 PM  

fqhollis: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

What, did they not watch the debates four years ago when he didn't have prompters? Sheesh.

Trolling is *hard*.


Ever notice how Obama can't say shiat without a microphone?
 
2012-10-02 12:36:49 PM  
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ZING.
 
2012-10-02 05:35:47 PM  

SpectroBoy: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....


Herpty derp much?

i105.photobucket.com



See? See? The invisible Obama that only Republicans can see is Totally using a teleprompter!
 
2012-10-02 08:45:53 PM  

VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Mr. Breeze: VJStinger: Agneska: Americans will get to hear Obama sans teleprompter. It should be uh quite uh interesting uhhhhhhhhh.....

If that's the best you can do without your daily talking points, I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Don't act so butthurt. Have you ever seen him speaking without a prepared speech/script? You can't deny simple truth.

I'm not, and yes I have, and I'm not. The president is a fine speaker and can talk just about any other politician under the table which is why he's... well... the PRESIDENT.



I doubt that was what you were thinking under the Bush administration smartass.

[www.blogcdn.com image 233x350]

Damn, you got me, yeah I thought Bush was a complete moron. He was quite literally the worst thing to happen to this country in a long time. But you know what? You know what the difference is between people like you and people like me? I know how to look past my hatred(which I do not allow to dominate my life and/or decisions)and respect the office in which the man holds and the people he represents.

You and the other shills around here do no such thing. You, and those like you, represent the worst of what our country has to offer and are nothing more than a scourge upon not only our republic as it stands, but the entire human race as far as I'm concerned.

Do you know what those people that hate us so much see? It's the same thing you see every time you start frothing at the mouth every time someone mentions anything even remotely related to Obama. You are what they see, you are what they hate. You are them. You are the enemy you so hate, and every time you idiots open your mouths you become those people you so loathe. They say the same thing you do: See how those people are? That's how they all are!

Time to invest in a mirror, Skippy. You are our own worst enemy, you and the rest of the shills are all cowards of the first degree.


It must be nice to feel like you know what the hell you are talking about. Except you know what? You don't know a damn thing about me. I simply point out that he says "ummmm..." a lot and look how much you read into that. I seriously was considering voting for the man. Yes, I lean to the right. But I don't trust Romney one bit, not ONE bit, and in a situation where you have to pick between two different things you don't like you take the lesser of the two evils.

As for respecting the office, I work every single day in support of that office probably more closely than you would ever realize. I work my ass off for that office, and will continue to regardless of who is in it. My personal values and work ethic will let me do no less for the man.

And if a highly successful person with strong moral values and convictions is what you consider the worst of our society, then your name must be Ghandi. It must be nice to know that you're better than everyone. No, forget that. You obviously can't stand any sort of criticism which is proven how bad you flew off the handle all while doing what I'm sure is your best to insult me. I'm the worst in society? It's time for you to turn that mirror around.

I am not your enemy. I'm the right of center moderate you should be trying to ally with. Good job.
 
2012-10-02 08:53:40 PM  

Dan the Schman: Mr. Breeze: Halli: Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,

Haha no.

I wasn't joking.

.thurstonxhowell: Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.

That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.

1. You're a right-wing shill, you were never going to vote for Obama.


I wasn't aware you knew me so well.

2. You weren't just saying Obama says "umm" a lot, you were pushing the weak "Teleprompter" meme and implying Obama is an idiot because he always uses a Teleprompter and says "umm" a lot. People weren't disagreeing about the "umm" point, it was the other right-wing talking points you were shilling.

Seriously, it's one thing to shill in a bunch of threads and then come to this one and claim to consider voting for Obama, but to do both in one thread is almost as stupid as deciding who to vote for based on what random strangers on the Internet say.


See my above post. Apparently you can't criticize someone you might support.
 
2012-10-02 09:01:29 PM  

Mrtraveler01: Mr. Breeze: constituency [ kuhn-stich-oo-uhn-see ]

3. any body of supporters, customers, etc.; clientele

Thanks for trying. And I'll try to take Fark. More seriously.

If you're seriously saying that you might change your vote over a few anonymous comments on Fark,


It's an extremely rare occasion when any Farker's mind is changed by the argument or comments of another. In otherwords, no, I wasn't serious. Very few people here have ever changed my mind on a topic, usually because it turns into some sort of contest about who can fling the best insult.
 
2012-10-02 10:24:23 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Dan the Schman: Mr. Breeze: Halli: Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,

Haha no.

I wasn't joking.

.thurstonxhowell: Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.

That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.

1. You're a right-wing shill, you were never going to vote for Obama.

I wasn't aware you knew me so well.

I have a system that has served me well in identifying trolls and shills. First time a comment stands out as typical right-wing shilling, I hilight them in pink. A couple more and they go yellow. You're green, which means I've never happened across a post that wasn't shilling/defending Republicans or bashing Obama with lame talking points.

2. You weren't just saying Obama says "umm" a lot, you were pushing the weak "Teleprompter" meme and implying Obama is an idiot because he always uses a Teleprompter and says "umm" a lot. People weren't disagreeing about the "umm" point, it was the other right-wing talking points you were shilling.

Seriously, it's one thing to shill in a bunch of threads and then come to this one and claim to consider voting for Obama, but to do both in one thread is almost as stupid as deciding who to vote for based on what random strangers on the Internet say.

See my above post. Apparently you can't criticize someone you might support.

Supporters criticize on issues, shills toss off talking points, and people on the internet factoring into your decision of who to vote for is pants-on-head retarded.

 
2012-10-03 06:15:42 AM  
Look what you did, VJStinger and Dan the Schman! You lost Obama one of those elusive swing votes.


thefitcast.com
 
2012-10-03 06:49:59 AM  

Dan the Schman: Mr. Breeze: Dan the Schman: Mr. Breeze: Halli: Mr. Breeze: I have been seriously considering voting for the man,

Haha no.

I wasn't joking.

.thurstonxhowell: Mr. Breeze: Dear God! I can't believe I actually have to defend saying that the president says ummm... or uhhhh... a lot when off script!

I have been seriously considering voting for the man, but if his constituency is this farking blind, I might have to re-think that.

That's not what constituency means, it was a dumb point, and that's a stupid way to decide how to vote.

1. You're a right-wing shill, you were never going to vote for Obama.

I wasn't aware you knew me so well.

I have a system that has served me well in identifying trolls and shills. First time a comment stands out as typical right-wing shilling, I hilight them in pink. A couple more and they go yellow. You're green, which means I've never happened across a post that wasn't shilling/defending Republicans or bashing Obama with lame talking points.

2. You weren't just saying Obama says "umm" a lot, you were pushing the weak "Teleprompter" meme and implying Obama is an idiot because he always uses a Teleprompter and says "umm" a lot. People weren't disagreeing about the "umm" point, it was the other right-wing talking points you were shilling.

Seriously, it's one thing to shill in a bunch of threads and then come to this one and claim to consider voting for Obama, but to do both in one thread is almost as stupid as deciding who to vote for based on what random strangers on the Internet say.

See my above post. Apparently you can't criticize someone you might support.

Supporters criticize on issues, shills toss off talking points, and people on the internet factoring into your decision of who to vote for is pants-on-head retarded.


What I gather is that you spend waaaaay too much effort on Fark. It's really kind of sad if you ask me. Anyway, I believe your clever little color coded scheme is inaccurate for my part. If I do simply toss off talking points like you stated, it's because I haven't the time to waste putting together a lengthy, well thought out argument for the Fark community to ignore.
 
2012-10-03 02:34:36 PM  

Mr. Breeze: What I gather is that you spend waaaaay too much effort on Fark. It's really kind of sad if you ask me. Anyway, I believe your clever little color coded scheme is inaccurate for my part. If I do simply toss off talking points like you stated, it's because I haven't the time to waste putting together a lengthy, well thought out argument for the Fark community to ignore.


Haha you are hilarious.
 
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