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(Live Science)   Believing in the fantasy of romance portrayed in TV and movies will harm your reality-based love life   (livescience.com) divider line 107
    More: Obvious, mass communication  
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3334 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Oct 2012 at 12:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 10:10:08 AM  
What about internet romances?
 
2012-10-01 10:51:23 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Watch this, take a shower, then go surprise her with flowers.
 
2012-10-01 11:39:33 AM  
I refuse to believe that it's a myth that fat guy like me cannot find some hot woman to marry him like
Kevin James with Leah Remini
James Belushi with Courtney thorne-smith
etc

It's still real to me
 
2012-10-01 11:54:55 AM  
Wait, so hooking *won't* help a woman get a rich, attractive, attentive man?
 
2012-10-01 12:09:45 PM  

Sybarite: Wait, so hooking *won't* help a woman get a rich, attractive, attentive man?


No...but it WILL get you a lot of other things.

/see your doctor
 
2012-10-01 12:40:31 PM  
90s era cinemax soft-porn did a disservice to my first sexual encounters as well. i thought going down on a girl meant rhythmic head gyrations in and around the girl's belly button.
 
2012-10-01 12:55:05 PM  

NuttierThanEver: I refuse to believe that it's a myth that fat guy like me cannot find some hot woman to marry him like
Kevin James with Leah Remini
James Belushi with Courtney thorne-smith
etc

It's still real to me


Hey, it worked for me.

And yes I've posted pictures. And no I'm not going to in this thread.

/farking from the phone.
//never did figure out how to
 
2012-10-01 12:58:03 PM  

NuttierThanEver: I refuse to believe that it's a myth that fat guy like me cannot find some hot woman to marry him like
Kevin James with Leah Remini
James Belushi with Courtney thorne-smith
etc


Fred and Wilma?
 
2012-10-01 01:01:48 PM  
Yeah, thankfully all I watch are brutal Ukrainian farkvids.
 
2012-10-01 01:02:48 PM  
Study comes too late for the guy who lives three doors down from me. His wife was addicted to watching The Bachelor and all the stupid spinoffs. She moved in with her new boy-toy a couple of months ago. Good riddance, biatch. I hated listening to your vapid banter.
 
2012-10-01 01:05:12 PM  
But it does sell more soap and hygiene products, so that's what matters.
 
2012-10-01 01:07:06 PM  
No shiat Sherlock, fantasy != realtity and anyone who doesn't get that is in for a world of hurt.
 
2012-10-01 01:08:13 PM  
Good thing my wife and I figured that out before we even got engaged.
 
2012-10-01 01:10:06 PM  
This applies to porn, too, right?
 
2012-10-01 01:20:12 PM  

gulogulo: This applies to porn, too, right?


Porn is actual very realistic. At least that is my experience.
 
2012-10-01 01:20:24 PM  
So all them soccer moms reading 50 Shades are in for a world of hurting?
 
2012-10-01 01:30:37 PM  
I'm a chick and I LOVE romances. The point is that they're not realistic, though. That's part of what makes them entertaining. If I wanted realism I'd watch a documentary. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I do watch documentaries, but when I'm in the mood for romance, then I read / watch a romance.
 
2012-10-01 01:32:25 PM  
Dear women who can't tell the difference between TV characters with the luxury of full-time writers and your boyfriend/husband who has to maintain a full-time job:

If you think you should be treated like the over-written TV characters in your sappy soaps, maybe you should put in the effort to look like the over-written TV characters in your sappy soaps.
 
2012-10-01 01:32:58 PM  
This surprises absolutely no one who has dated an American woman anytime in their lives.
 
2012-10-01 01:33:42 PM  

shortymac: No shiat Sherlock, fantasy != realtity and anyone who doesn't get that is in for a world of hurt.


The problem is that if you don't have real world experience with which you can balance the fantasy and place it into proper context, you end up thinking fantasy is real. Relationships in TV and movies are complete and utter BS, but for those who have never experienced a real relationship it's all they have to go on. In the romantic comedies the woman falls for her best friend, but in reality she is never going to consider that guy as a mating possibility- that's why they were best friends. This also goes for those who have constant dissatisfaction with their relationships- they see these idealized "happily ever after" relationships as actually possible, forgetting that entertainment is ONLY entertainment.

It happens with everything else portrayed in movies and TV too. Juries think that everything is CSI and people think Hollywood knows anything more than dick-all about firearms, space travel, or much of anything. But if that's all you've ever known on a topic, you'll think it's accurate.
 
2012-10-01 01:39:43 PM  
Haven't yet met a hooker with a heart of gold. Gotta keep looking.......
 
2012-10-01 01:41:17 PM  
Had an ex that I came to realize thought she was living a tv show on some level.

Everything she did in or to our relationship was born out of something she saw on tv or in a movie. Think of your annoying acquaintance that endlessly makes movie references, then have this person actually try to live the movie and treat you like a character.
 
2012-10-01 01:41:50 PM  
This is how I feel about romance/relationship based drama: If I'm not willing to listen to my best friends talk about their real life relationships/sex life, I'm sure as shiat not going to watch/read two completely fictional people talk about theirs.
 
2012-10-01 01:46:41 PM  
Believing in the fantasy of romancesexuality portrayed in TV and moviespornography will harm your reality-based love life (makelovenotporn.com)

Amidoinitrite?
 
2012-10-01 01:48:14 PM  

kid_icarus: What about internet romances?


I was crushed when I found out that girls don't prefer I drop my load on the face in real life.
 
2012-10-01 01:50:34 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Lil more realistic
 
2012-10-01 01:54:38 PM  

QT_3.14159: I'm a chick and I LOVE romances. The point is that they're not realistic, though. That's part of what makes them entertaining. If I wanted realism I'd watch a documentary. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I do watch documentaries, but when I'm in the mood for romance, then I read / watch a romance.


It's good that that this doesn't color your perceptions.

/I've got some oceanfront property for sale in Yuma that'll be just perfect for ya.
 
2012-10-01 01:57:36 PM  
What about Literotica stories? I can still believe in them, right?
 
2012-10-01 02:00:15 PM  
I question the headline and most people's interpretation of the results....

Romance isn't like Santa Clause or magic. Romance *does* exist. The study shows that people who think extremely romantic portrayals in the media are kind of realistic are more likely to put effort into being romantic.

That's no different than asking 500 guys if some body-builder type action hero has a reasonable physique. Guys who spend time in the gym, putting effort into obtaining a physique like that are more likely to think the extreme portrayal is obtainable.

And the more the participants believed in the TV romance, the higher they rated both expected and actual relationship "costs,"

This means romantic people EXPECT relationships to have costs and sacrifice. And (at least from their own reporting) they ACTUALLY put more energy and effort into their relationships. I don't see how that would be a bad thing.

....they are no less satisfied

The people who love romantic crap and 'believe' in it - reported being 'no less satisfied' than the non-believers.

The only reported 'downside' is that romantic believers were more likely to consider alternatives to their current partner. How is that a bad thing? People who care about cars are more likely to think about getting a new car if their car isn't performing well enough. People who don't care about cars drive them until they fall apart.

If anything, I see this as evidence that watching romantic crap is probably a GOOD thing.
 
2012-10-01 02:01:03 PM  
Has anybody ever tried any of the hokey bullshiat that works on these shows and in the movies? My wife used to love those sorts of shows and so I have on a few occaisions tried to do something 'romantic' for her in the same style if not completely plagiarized from whatever bullshiat she has made me watch over the years. It always seems to depends on a huge amount of serendipity to work or is easily foiled by something as simple as needing a bathroom or being 5 minutes late.

It's hard enough to surprise the person who shares your house with a birthday gift let alone do something romantic without them getting wise. Christ I can't even leave the room in the evening without her asking where I'm going.

While we are all here I'm also wondering why stuff happens 'on' TV but stuff happens 'in' movies.
 
2012-10-01 02:06:00 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: QT_3.14159: I'm a chick and I LOVE romances. The point is that they're not realistic, though. That's part of what makes them entertaining. If I wanted realism I'd watch a documentary. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I do watch documentaries, but when I'm in the mood for romance, then I read / watch a romance.

It's good that that this doesn't color your perceptions.

/I've got some oceanfront property for sale in Yuma that'll be just perfect for ya.


Of course it colors my perceptions at times. At the end of a good chick flick any woman will get that warm affectionate feeling and apply it (deservedly or not) to whomever it is they feel most strongly about at the time. Too often, men think of romances as a distraction, but really as long as the relationship is halfway decent, watching / reading a romance will make us think of our partner because that's who we LOVE.

At least that's how it works for me. I can't see that as a bad thing at all.
 
2012-10-01 02:07:54 PM  
As much as I hate the Office now, Jim and Pam through the first four seasons is to me one of the most realistic romances portrayed in entertainment.
 
2012-10-01 02:15:53 PM  

thecpt: As much as I hate the Office now, Jim and Pam through the first four seasons is to me one of the most realistic romances portrayed in entertainment.


You mean dull and repetitive?
 
2012-10-01 02:19:04 PM  

QT_3.14159: Too often, men think of romances as a distraction


Actually a lot of us think it's a pain in the ass. 'Romance' is just a code for, do a bunch of shiat that you don't enjoy and in return I'll do something that I really enjoy (have sex with you) and probably would have done anyway.
 
2012-10-01 02:19:09 PM  

Egoy3k: Has anybody ever tried any of the hokey bullshiat that works on these shows and in the movies? My wife used to love those sorts of shows and so I have on a few occaisions tried to do something 'romantic' for her in the same style if not completely plagiarized from whatever bullshiat she has made me watch over the years. It always seems to depends on a huge amount of serendipity to work or is easily foiled by something as simple as needing a bathroom or being 5 minutes late.

It's hard enough to surprise the person who shares your house with a birthday gift let alone do something romantic without them getting wise. Christ I can't even leave the room in the evening without her asking where I'm going.



Next time you are railing her from behind, stick your thumb up her ass.

She'll be deeply touched.
 
2012-10-01 02:19:16 PM  
Is Ric Romero moonlighting for Live Science or what?
 
2012-10-01 02:21:20 PM  
So all women aren't vulnerable and require rescuing? And they might push me away if I smother them with attention, forced humor and lame cliche attempts at chivalry ?

I better call a meeting of the virgin nerds! It appears we've been given some bad information.
 
2012-10-01 02:21:45 PM  

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Next time you are railing her from behind, stick your thumb up her ass.

She'll be deeply touched.


Wouldn't it be better to use my middle finger then? It's longer.
 
2012-10-01 02:28:57 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 02:36:50 PM  

Sybarite: Wait, so hooking *won't* help a woman get a rich, attractive, attentive man?


you know, if you watch Pretty Woman backwards, it's the tale of a rich woman who is forced into a life prostitution by her a$$hole boyfriend.
 
2012-10-01 02:39:16 PM  

Sybarite: Wait, so hooking *won't* help a woman get a rich, attractive, attentive man?


Nah, they'll just snatch one up once they're done banging alphas and well passed their peak fertility and attractiveness.
 
2012-10-01 02:39:56 PM  
you mean to tell me when they edit out the bills, the stress of paying the bills, the chores, grocery shopping, fixing broken stuff, the cleaning, the farts, the burps, the poop, the skids on the toilet, menstruation, people getting sick, headaches, traffic, times of boredom...the job! they edit out going to work!...that this might lead people slightly astray as to what real life relationships might be like?

Bullsh*t.
 
2012-10-01 02:41:37 PM  
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the guy below only exists in fiction...fiction! No girls, you won't meet him in real life.

www.babelio.com
 
2012-10-01 02:43:07 PM  

Egoy3k: SockMonkeyHolocaust: Next time you are railing her from behind, stick your thumb up her ass.

She'll be deeply touched.

Wouldn't it be better to use my middle finger then? It's longer.


www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2012-10-01 02:46:54 PM  

Egoy3k: QT_3.14159: Too often, men think of romances as a distraction

Actually a lot of us think it's a pain in the ass. 'Romance' is just a code for, do a bunch of shiat that you don't enjoy and in return I'll do something that I really enjoy (have sex with you) and probably would have done anyway.


I was talking about watching / reading romances, but since you brought it up...

Romance isn't doing shiat. It's thoughtfulness. It's showing that you are spending time away from the woman you love thinking about her and trying to figure out how to make her happy. If you're not actually doing that, no amount of flowers will ever be romantic. If you are doing that, taking her car to get the oil changed can be romantic.

The important thing to remember about sex for women is that there is a significant MENTAL barrier to it at all times. Why? I have no idea. But it's true. We have to have the mental barrier broken down before we can really enjoy sex. Will we have sex with you and enjoy it if you don't break down that mental barrier first? Probably, because sex itself will break it down eventually. But will it be as enjoyable as it could have been? Nope.
 
2012-10-01 02:53:46 PM  
The author used "The Bachelor", "Days of Our Lives", & "Pretty Woman" as his samples of -romantic- media?

Those are all 'trainwrecks' in my book - only watch if you also like to rubberneck @ car crashes.

/there was more real romance in 'Dances with Wolves'...
 
2012-10-01 02:54:56 PM  
There are only two romance films any respectable man should ever watch.

"Joe vs the Volcano" because if she's dumb enough to think throwing herself into a volcano is cool, then you can probably manipulate your way out of things. And "Safety Not Guaranteed" because no woman on Earth could look at you and whine "Why don't you build *me* a time machine!?" with a straight face.

The problem with romance movies is that the movie always ends at the start of the relationship. It's the chase and discovery that these two dissimilar people are actually made for each other, and oh look their first kiss!

The never get to the parts about arguing over laundry and why don't you put that dish in the sink, you farking slob.
 
2012-10-01 02:55:52 PM  

Grither: This surprises absolutely no one who has dated an American woman anytime in their lives.


This statement surprises absolutely no one who knows a man who dates women who have unrealistic fantasies about romance.

Your bad taste in women is our fault somehow?

wiwille: I've said it before and I'll say it again, the guy below only exists in fiction...fiction! No girls, you won't meet him in real life.
[www.babelio.com image 546x376]


I know, he's much older now. The young version will never be back again. But hey, he's about my age, so call me, Colin.
 
2012-10-01 03:00:55 PM  

QT_3.14159: Egoy3k: QT_3.14159: Too often, men think of romances as a distraction

Actually a lot of us think it's a pain in the ass. 'Romance' is just a code for, do a bunch of shiat that you don't enjoy and in return I'll do something that I really enjoy (have sex with you) and probably would have done anyway.

I was talking about watching / reading romances, but since you brought it up...

Romance isn't doing shiat. It's thoughtfulness. It's showing that you are spending time away from the woman you love thinking about her and trying to figure out how to make her happy. If you're not actually doing that, no amount of flowers will ever be romantic. If you are doing that, taking her car to get the oil changed can be romantic.


OK great point and well made. I agree with your definition 100% but unfortunately a lot of people (not just women) don't feel the same way about it. Unfortunately what most people describe as 'romance' is just thinly veiled consumerism with definite slant towards effeminate activities and products.

The important thing to remember about sex for women is that there is a significant MENTAL barrier to it at all times. Why? I have no idea. But it's true. We have to have the mental barrier broken down before we can really enjoy sex. Will we have sex with you and enjoy it if you don't break down that mental barrier first? Probably, because sex itself will break it down eventually. But will it be as enjoyable as it could have been? Nope.

Yeah sure I can understand that. It doesn't change the fact that some women like to portray it as doing men a favor which is quite possibly the most infuriating aspect of male female interactions for a lot of men.
 
2012-10-01 03:03:40 PM  

wiwille: I've said it before and I'll say it again, the guy below only exists in fiction...fiction! No girls, you won't meet him in real life.


Are you saying that there aren't any men out there that are shy, come across as rude because they're not good at being in forced social situations and are, at heart, pretty decent guys?

Damn, I'm so glad I don't live in your world. My husband IS Mr. Darcy to a T.

/except the fabulously wealthy part
//but we're getting there!
 
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