indylaw: Meanwhile, in the relatively normal mainline world, we'll be busy with a bake sale and soup kitchen while the evangelicals park their campers in Jerusalem for the real Greatest Show on Earth.
Gaseous Anomaly: frankenSTEEN: "I *have* read it from cover to cover. Old testament twice, new testament 3 times"A question on gay rights then:From what I understand, the only place the Bible condemns homosexuality is in Leviticus, right?If so, then as far as gay rights are concerned one doesn't have to try to repudiate the Bible. One could just point out that if someone doesn't follow Levitical law (like Orthodox Jews do) then they have no business condemning gays on religious grounds.I've used that argument before - is there something I'm missing? (I heard that Paul's letters were down on the gays, but if I understand correctly those aren't *scripture* per se)./god hates shrimp
Langdon_777: Harry Freakstorm: Welcome to God's Holy Return - Live! We're broadcasting live from the holy city of Jerusalem and we're awaiting God's return at any moment. Let's go to the red carpet with Tammy Faye Bakker...Oh, we're hear at the holy site where we believe God will make his entrance. We assume he'll be arriving by cloud and wearing a flowing, golden robe of his design. As of yet. No word on when he'll arrive, but it should be soon. Back to you.Well, why we are waiting here is an artist rendition of what it might look like. Notice that we did not include a graven image of the Lord himself. He's represented by this smiley face here."It is I, Lord, thy God. I have returned. Things will change. Read you Bible. It is thy's word."Wow. Can't wait for that to happen. Tammy. Anything?Nope. Nada.Well, we'll just wait patiently for the Lord's return. Wouldn't look to good if he showed up and there was no one to welcome him. Hang on. I'm getting a report. This just in. God has returned to the Earth! He has reportedly stepped down from a golden pillar of clouds in Salina, Kansas. Look like the Mormons nailed it. As we speak, millions of Mormons are being recalled to their treasures in Heaven. If, like myself, you petitioned the Mormon Church to remove you from their registry, well, you can expect to stay below and suffer with the other unbelievers.We don't have a camera in Salina, but the report says that all the faithful have been gathered up and the Holy Lord has broken the seven seals and spilled plague, pestilence and you know, the rest. Satan has announce 100% control of the Earth and it's remaining population.And in keeping with the sudden change in management, we return you to 24 hours of Three's Company. All the episodes are Terri episodes, by the way. No Chrissy.Won't they be surprised when She appears in all Her Glory ;)(I wonder if they will forgive her darker skin too)
Itstoearly: But if Christ came back, wouldn't all the employees be raptured? I want an atheist company in there just in case.
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