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(Daily Mail)   It seems you can't even groom your wife to be a sex slave these days   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 312
    More: Strange, Missouri State, kinky sex, physical injury, BDSM, seriousness  
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21990 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 12:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



312 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-01 10:12:26 AM  
Women have always been into this 'eroticised punishment' more than men who simply want guilt free sexual access and then a sammich.
 
2012-10-01 10:15:16 AM  
its not his fault she forgot the safety word
 
2012-10-01 10:20:45 AM  
There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 
 
2012-10-01 10:43:17 AM  
Ed Bagley faces a federal trial early next year on 11 counts of abuse against a woman authorities say he groomed to be his sex slave.

3.bp.blogspot.com 

You bastard!
 
2012-10-01 11:09:08 AM  
I always hear about "grooming girls to be sex slaves" and wonder what that means. Is their hair gel and bikini waxes involved?
 
2012-10-01 11:34:18 AM  
If she didn't want to become a sex slave, why was she born female?

/I keed, I keed
//maybe
 
2012-10-01 12:06:20 PM  
i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 12:56:59 PM  
There's a problem when you safe word is "continue".
 
2012-10-01 12:58:36 PM  
First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.
 
2012-10-01 01:02:46 PM  
"Dude, what the farks wrong with German people?"
 
2012-10-01 01:06:24 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


And that is when he left his parent's basement to beg mom for some lunch.
 
2012-10-01 01:06:56 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Hipster sex?.
 
2012-10-01 01:07:58 PM  
Wait, there was consent but they're trying it as assault? Assumed nanny state until daily mail was reporting on a story from Missouri.

//FTA:But if the woman was too young or not intelligent enough to consent... if intelligence is a factor in consent, you're going to have to arrest a whole lot of morans for rape.
 
2012-10-01 01:08:45 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.



After reading your comment I looked at your handle and read it as "Rapemaster2000" then I laughed.

/then I realized I read it wrong...not sure if laughing makes me a bad person or not
 
2012-10-01 01:09:47 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Go on...
 
2012-10-01 01:10:58 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


is this in the I've got to be in the gym in fifteen minutes style, or the I am in this group and you really don't know what you're talking about

needless to say I don't think you're going to become your own meme at this rate
 
2012-10-01 01:11:54 PM  

Babboonrash: Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.

Go on...


No, don't go on. I like my boring, whitebread fornication just the way it is.
 
2012-10-01 01:12:30 PM  
We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.
 
2012-10-01 01:12:39 PM  

I_C_Weener: [i586.photobucket.com image 300x205]


www.explore-science-fiction-movies.com
Good Bible....
 
2012-10-01 01:14:03 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Sex should be no more than five minutes of the old in and out on the third Thursday of the month between final Jeopardy and Wheel. Anything else is just you compensating for your childhood.

/First of all you guys it's called Wheel not Wheel of Fortune . You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that.
 
2012-10-01 01:14:05 PM  

wambu: There's a problem when you safe word is "continue".


The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.
 
2012-10-01 01:14:13 PM  

Baelz: I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys.


Oh dear God, really?
 
2012-10-01 01:15:15 PM  
I used to get a ration of shiat whenever I would observe that there isn't a woman on the planet that doesn't like a smack in the ass, and to be told she's pretty.

This 50 Shades thing has validated my observations, and I simply refer anyone objecting to that truth to the NYT best seller's list for more information.

And also, in before the hipsters telling us that whatever those people were up to wasn't *real* kink...
 
2012-10-01 01:16:55 PM  

Cheron: Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.

Sex should be no more than five minutes of the old in and out on the third Thursday of the month between final Jeopardy and Wheel. Anything else is just you compensating for your childhood.

/First of all you guys it's called Wheel not Wheel of Fortune . You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that.


Pfft. I only watch Scrabble reruns. I enjoy Chuck Woolery on about five different levels.
 
2012-10-01 01:17:20 PM  
Remember "No" means make me and "firetruck" means no.

/I love my friends..
 
2012-10-01 01:17:44 PM  
I feel so normal next to some of these people. All we do is a little buttplay (not the whole 9 yards) and some footplay.

/wife has very sensitive feet
//wife has very smooth feet too.
 
2012-10-01 01:17:48 PM  

kvinesknows: The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.


threatqualitypress.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-01 01:18:07 PM  
If you're going to mention my town on Fark, ya have to include the county sheriffs name...Dick Wrinkle.

Cheers,
phat
 
2012-10-01 01:18:28 PM  

Oysterman: Wait, there was consent but they're trying it as assault? Assumed nanny state until daily mail was reporting on a story from Missouri.

//FTA:But if the woman was too young or not intelligent enough to consent... if intelligence is a factor in consent, you're going to have to arrest a whole lot of morans for rape.


she was old enough to give her consent, and it appears from the article she did in fact give it.. though at some points it wasnt entirely clear

this sounds like a prosecutor who has overstepped his bounds
 
2012-10-01 01:19:13 PM  
On a side note: has anyone had enough of that fox comercial where the woman screams "YESY YES YEEES" in the sexual tone?

That commercial is pissing me off.
 
2012-10-01 01:21:07 PM  
I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.

Don't worry boys and girls, your fetish balls are probably safe, especially since one of the local judges goes there with his wife.
 
2012-10-01 01:21:22 PM  
To be fair -- when professional fighters are accused of various crimes, we regularly their profession/in-ring behavior as evidence of a (likely) history of aggression.

So this shiat is stupid and unfair, but it's hardly without precedent.
 
2012-10-01 01:22:53 PM  

Baelz: We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.


When a shiatty book like 50 Shades (which gets the BDSM world not a bit) is their outline, are you really surprised by this? I was wondering when the first arrest or death would be.
 
2012-10-01 01:23:25 PM  
You made it by 14 minutes, Rapmaster2000.
 
2012-10-01 01:24:57 PM  

brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 


I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.
 
2012-10-01 01:28:12 PM  

pottie: brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


and yet.. you live in Alaska
 
2012-10-01 01:28:21 PM  
I knew a couple that was into knife play. For you vanilla farkers, it's exactly what it sounds like. Nobody ever had to go to the hospital.
 
2012-10-01 01:29:14 PM  
Thanks to women working hard like so:

blsciblogs.baruch.cuny.edu

Then future generations following it up:

24.media.tumblr.com

www.newyorker.com

Women in the Western world are more liberated, free, educated and able to make whatever choices they like than in any other time or place in human history.

And with that freedom of choice they have picked the following works (written by women for women) as their selections to outsell and thus by association represent their desires over everything else directed at their gender.

images.wikia.com

www.arnizachariassen.com

The following is how the patriarchy feels about this outcome.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-01 01:31:16 PM  

pottie: brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


I'm baffled by people that find feet sexy. People come in all shapes, sizes, and preferences. The pain and humiliation thing is pretty straight-forward though: essentially it's about sensation and eroticism, and what it takes to get some people primed to orgasm.
 
2012-10-01 01:32:30 PM  

pottie: brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


Some people are just wired differently. What your brain registers as pleasure a masochist's brain registers as pleasure. There is also a point in impact play that anyone can pass where the endorphins and adrenaline reach a point where you're getting high from the pain. So some people jump out of airplanes for an adrenaline rish, and some people use nipple clamps and a flogger... I personally won't jump out of a plane :)
 
2012-10-01 01:32:41 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Thanks, I know plenty about D/s but I'm happy with how things are working out with my ice cream van.
 
2012-10-01 01:34:18 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Women have always been into this 'eroticised punishment' more than men who simply want guilt free sexual access and then a sammich.


Some men seem to be deeply into it. Nothing wrong with it if everything's consensual but of the guys I've met who were into it, most were deeply unlikeable. Most were also manipulative control freaks.

Me, guess I like a game of dressup and the odd bit of pain, but I can't think of anything less interesting than head games and domination plays, or whipping someone's bare ass...
 
2012-10-01 01:34:34 PM  
FTFA As in several other states, Missouri assault laws limit instances in which consent can be used as a defense against criminal charges when serious injuries occur. Exceptions generally are made for athletic activities and the victim's occupation or professions in which the conduct and harm are reasonably foreseeable hazards.

Had a fellow show up in the ER, years ago, secondary infections from `claw' marks down back (poor hygiene, but probably non-prosecutable `athletic' sex).

Should have worked his magic from the bottom-up, ala, Die Dame im Pelz

/Reed and Cale for the score
 
2012-10-01 01:34:49 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: You made it by 14 minutes, Rapmaster2000.



Looks like he beat the pasty overweight Fark crowd from over-sharing their particular form of self-important kink.

Let's see if they notice.
 
2012-10-01 01:37:22 PM  

ZzeusS: Looks like he beat the pasty overweight Fark crowd from over-sharing their particular form of self-important kink.


These threads cause me hyper-realistic, highly unpleasant olfactory hallucinations.
 
2012-10-01 01:42:53 PM  

Baelz: I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.


So much this.

When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs". Still, it's nice to see consentual BDSM getting some positive mainstream attention.
 
2012-10-01 01:45:55 PM  

pottie: I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


I am baffled at how someone could tolerate being around such a person. I couldn't respect them.
 
2012-10-01 01:46:45 PM  
He isn't being charged with assault against his wife. He and his wife are being charged with assault against another woman, who isn't named in the article.

The article is poorly orginized.
 
2012-10-01 01:47:48 PM  

Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.
 
2012-10-01 01:48:06 PM  

Greymalkin: Thanks to women working hard like so:

[blsciblogs.baruch.cuny.edu image 500x756]

Then future generations following it up:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]

[www.newyorker.com image 465x315]

Women in the Western world are more liberated, free, educated and able to make whatever choices they like than in any other time or place in human history.

And with that freedom of choice they have picked the following works (written by women for women) as their selections to outsell and thus by association represent their desires over everything else directed at their gender.

[images.wikia.com image 300x420]

[www.arnizachariassen.com image 850x429]

The following is how the patriarchy feels about this outcome.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]


Yeah, this is something that kinda bothers me of these books.
 
2012-10-01 01:48:20 PM  
Or organized, whichever.
 
2012-10-01 01:48:27 PM  

Jeremysbrain: He isn't being charged with assault against his wife. He and his wife are being charged with assault against another woman, who isn't named in the article.

The article is poorly orginized.



It's painful and pleasurable at the same time.  Almost titilatting with its antici
 
2012-10-01 01:52:09 PM  

kvinesknows: wambu: There's a problem when you safe word is "continue".

The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.


The same thing she yells when she shanks a golf ball?
 
2012-10-01 01:52:17 PM  

I_C_Weener: It's painful and pleasurable at the same time. Almost titilatting with its antici


-PATION!
 
2012-10-01 01:53:17 PM  
They'll take my S&M when they pry it from my cold dead fingers!
 
2012-10-01 01:55:02 PM  

Gothnet: I can't think of anything less interesting than head games and domination plays, or whipping someone's bare ass...


Different strokes for different folks.

Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual).

There's a big difference between saying "I don't like ____, so I'm not going to do it" and "I don't like ____, so you shouldn't be allowed to do it".  No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level; they wouldn't be so understanding if you denigrated people who like things that you don't.

I've been in the scene for close to 20 years, and there are still things that squick me out (EG medical scenes). You just politely excuse yourself when other people are saying/doing something that you are really uncomfortable with.
 
2012-10-01 01:57:28 PM  

clyph:
Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, or inspired by this book, or involves you doing it differently than methods sanctioned by TEH SCENE!!!!).


FTFY

/ Hipster douches are hipster douches, no matter how they fark.
 
2012-10-01 01:58:12 PM  

fireclown: kvinesknows: The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.

[threatqualitypress.files.wordpress.com image 468x337]


Nein is pretty young...
 
2012-10-01 02:03:34 PM  
It's like 9 1/2 weeks all over again...

oh the humanity!

/time to make balloon animals out of women's lingerie
 
2012-10-01 02:04:12 PM  

Rent Party: I used to get a ration of shiat whenever I would observe that there isn't a woman on the planet that doesn't like a smack in the ass, and to be told she's pretty.

This 50 Shades thing has validated my observations, and I simply refer anyone objecting to that truth to the NYT best seller's list for more information.

And also, in before the hipsters telling us that whatever those people were up to wasn't *real* kink...


Greymalkin: Thanks to women working hard like so:

[blsciblogs.baruch.cuny.edu image 500x756]

Then future generations following it up:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]

[www.newyorker.com image 465x315]

Women in the Western world are more liberated, free, educated and able to make whatever choices they like than in any other time or place in human history.

And with that freedom of choice they have picked the following works (written by women for women) as their selections to outsell and thus by association represent their desires over everything else directed at their gender.

[images.wikia.com image 300x420]

[www.arnizachariassen.com image 850x429]

The following is how the patriarchy feels about this outcome.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]




Lookup the "Norway paradox" or Norwegian paradox. As liberal democracies expand and women more and more are free to choose their path, the biological differences actually become more pronounced. The result is that Norway, one of the most feminist countries in the world,actually has more pronounced gender differences than most conservative countries, including places like Pakistan and Indian. The theory is that since the outcome is not forced, women naturally and biologically more inclined to fields like nursing or child care, while conservative areas women are often forced into fields like medicine and law.

You could make the same hypothesis in the social agreement. As we are more and more free to chose our own mates and have power in the relationship, women are making choices drawn from their biological urges. The result is that women are listing to be over powered and control, even though publicly they proclaim to want fairness and equality. The result is a whole generation of men who almost walk on egg shells to court women, yet they are being drawn even more to alpha males (and men who appear to be alpha). So a minority of men, pysopayhs, thugs, and abusers have no shortage of wowomen while stable middle class engineer types troll eharmony hopelessly. I would expect to see more of this, as well as polyamorous marriages and relationships as these dominant men have less to hold them back from courting a multitude of women willing to withstand abuse. This case has less to do withe rights of women but a legal system that can no longer maintain traditional social mores.
 
2012-10-01 02:05:28 PM  

Gothnet: of the guys I've met who were into it, most were deeply unlikeable. Most were also manipulative control freaks.


Manipulative control freaks and deeply unlikeable people are everywhere, both in and outside of the scene. The really objectionable ones tend not to stay in the organized BDSM community for long - it's a pretty close-knit community and word gets around if someone is genuinely abusive, unethical, or unsafe. The scene could do a better job of policing itself, but I still maintain that it's better/safer than a random sampling of the general population, because at least people are aware of and discuss the problem.
 
2012-10-01 02:07:50 PM  
No matter how much you try to sterilize "the scene" by making it sound like some kind of sexual libertarianism, you are still getting off by reopening old emotional trauma, either in yourself or your partner. Just because your mom put out her cigarettes on your skin when she came home drunk and now you can't get it up without a red hot bic lighter on your ass, doesn't mean it's a healthy thing to engage in.
 
2012-10-01 02:07:50 PM  

clyph: Gothnet: I can't think of anything less interesting than head games and domination plays, or whipping someone's bare ass...

Different strokes for different folks.

Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual).

There's a big difference between saying "I don't like ____, so I'm not going to do it" and "I don't like ____, so you shouldn't be allowed to do it".  No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level; they wouldn't be so understanding if you denigrated people who like things that you don't.

I've been in the scene for close to 20 years, and there are still things that squick me out (EG medical scenes). You just politely excuse yourself when other people are saying/doing something that you are really uncomfortable with.


Fine. Whatever.

I'm not denigrating people for their sexual tastes, I'm saying that in my experience all the guys I've met that were into your scene were manipulative arseholes. These two things are separate.

And it's not just a small sample size either. Old goth here and there is a lot of scene crossover.

I'm not even saying it's appropriate to compare it to this case, and I'd be the last person to ban anything. But all y'all are generally pretty unlikeable human beings.
 
2012-10-01 02:09:02 PM  

Magnanimous_J: No matter how much you try to sterilize "the scene" by making it sound like some kind of sexual libertarianism, you are still getting off by reopening old emotional trauma, either in yourself or your partner. Just because your mom put out her cigarettes on your skin when she came home drunk and now you can't get it up without a red hot bic lighter on your ass, doesn't mean it's a healthy thing to engage in.



i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-01 02:09:20 PM  
kvinesknows:


The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.


Potato?
 
2012-10-01 02:09:57 PM  

Nurglitch: pottie: brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.

I'm baffled by people that find feet sexy. People come in all shapes, sizes, and preferences. The pain and humiliation thing is pretty straight-forward though: essentially it's about sensation and eroticism, and what it takes to get some people primed to orgasm.


Having sex with a sump pump?
 
2012-10-01 02:13:44 PM  
pottie:

brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


Same here. And morally outraged at the whole scene.
 
2012-10-01 02:15:45 PM  
fireclown:

pottie: I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.

I am baffled at how someone could tolerate being around such a person. I couldn't respect them.


It's good to see I'm not alone in this.

I have no respect for people who must hurt others either.
 
2012-10-01 02:23:11 PM  

DaAlien: kvinesknows: wambu: There's a problem when you safe word is "continue".

The safe word I allow my wife to use is how old she was when she first had sex.

The same thing she yells when she shanks a golf ball?


thats not that far off.
 
2012-10-01 02:23:44 PM  

Rent Party: clyph:
Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, or inspired by this book, or involves you doing it differently than methods sanctioned by TEH SCENE!!!!).


FTFY


Bullshiat.

There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten because they're proven to be inherently unsafe, and people will call you out if you try and do them. Beyond that, the prevailing attitude is that there isn't "one true way" or any authoritative source.

For instance, a lot of people are into Gorean play; a lot of others consider it childish and inane. Both groups generally tolerate one another, although of course you always get some self-important idiot on either side who wants to proclaim that MY WAY IS THE ONE TRUE WAY AND ANYONE WHO DOES IT DIFFERENTLY IS DOING IT WRONG. Generally those people get pushed off to the fringes and ignored. That's just human nature.

Occasionally you get some newb who gets all butthurt when s/he gets told in no uncertain terms that s/he is doing something horribly unsafe and needs to cut that shait out before someone gets hurt, dies, or goes to jail. Either they get a clue, or they storm off and denigrate the people who dared question their imagined authority.
 
2012-10-01 02:24:35 PM  
If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.
 
2012-10-01 02:24:37 PM  

JWideman: I knew a couple that was into knife play.


Like mumblety-peg or five-finger-filet?
 
2012-10-01 02:25:24 PM  

Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.


Is it you?
 
2012-10-01 02:25:45 PM  

Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.


It's you, isn't it?
 
2012-10-01 02:26:16 PM  

Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.


Which reminds me, my mom said to tell you that if you're going to be that bad in the sack, she's charging double next time.
 
2012-10-01 02:27:39 PM  

Gothnet: Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.

Is it you?


... so close
 
2012-10-01 02:27:55 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Well, actually, to those in the know, its BDSM or nothing, Sm ain't shiat since he went all maintstream and solo, people that say "SM" are almost as cluesless as those fascists who insist on "Safe Sane and Consensual", rather than the much hipper "Risk-aware Consensual Kink
 
2012-10-01 02:28:22 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Gothnet: Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.

Is it you?

... so close


The two comments in succession made it funnier.
 
2012-10-01 02:28:45 PM  

Gothnet: But all y'all are generally pretty unlikeable human beings.


Funny, I feel the same way about vanillas.

In my experience, you'll find a lot more unlikeable manipulative control freaks at a church social than in a dungeon.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:27 PM  

Gothnet: Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: If I'm having sex, someone's getting humiliated.

Is it you?


At least half the time.
 
2012-10-01 02:32:51 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: clyph:
Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, or inspired by this book, or involves you doing it differently than methods sanctioned by TEH SCENE!!!!).


FTFY

Bullshiat.



No, really, allow me to demonstrate, with you first.


There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten

Verbotten? But I thought...

Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK

And which hipster douche said this?

When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

Because I have it on good authority that

Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK

Oh yeah...

When a shiatty book like 50 Shades (which gets the BDSM world not a bit)

So basically, "Everything is cool, so long as it's done in the manner sanctioned by my special little club."

Here's a better idea, that actually *is* "Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK."

The legions of fatties that feel liberated enough to get off to whatever gets them off as a result of this shiatty book are just as legitimately kinky as you are, Hipster McSpankalot. You are not unique. You have no special knowledge. You are not a snowflake, no matter how much you really really wish you were, and no matter how far down your nose you care to look at what those other folks are up to.

 
2012-10-01 02:33:10 PM  

RobSeace: JWideman: I knew a couple that was into knife play.

Like mumblety-peg or five-finger-filet?


Like "See this scar across my ribcage? It's my favorite."
 
2012-10-01 02:35:11 PM  

Magorn: cluesless as those fascists who insist on "Safe Sane and Consensual", rather than the much hipper "Risk-aware Consensual Kink


I'm old guard. I use SSC because that's what I learned. I don't object to calling it RACK, it's just not my preferred nomenclature. Without getting into pedantic hair-splitting, they're both asking the same thing: are the people involved doing it of their own free will, aware of the risks, exercising rational judgement, and taking appropriate safety precautions?
 
2012-10-01 02:35:34 PM  

JWideman: Like "See this scar across my ribcage? It's my favorite.


That's not sex. That's a symptom.
 
2012-10-01 02:38:59 PM  

Rapmaster2000: First of all you guys it's called SM not S&M. You can always tell someone that doesn't really get what the lifestyle is really about when they say that. You guys are probably totally vanilla. I'm into sex things that you've probably never even heard of, man.

I'd tell you more, but it would totally blow away your whitebread corporate fornication paradigm. You just wouldn't get it.


Honestly I imagine a lot of people either know or would be completely unsurprised to hear about it, and would simply find your alternate "fornication paradigm" singularly unappealing.
 
2012-10-01 02:39:05 PM  

pottie: brap: There's not enought shade in the world to make that sexy. 

I am completely baffled by those that take pleasure in being hurt and humiliated.


Fun fact: Compulsive Gamblers, studies have proven,do not get addictted to the feeling they get whenhey win, most have little or no emotional reaction when they win, even when they win big. What they get addicted to, ironically enough, is the chemicals that make that small sick, scared feeling you get whe you lose, particularly when you lose money you can't afford to lose in the first place.

So people also eroticize that scared feeling, which isn't suprising given the proximity of the genetalia to the pit of your stomach, and so anticpation of pain and or humliation becomes a sensation that, if not exactly pleasurable, is still sought after, and when you combine that with the endorphin rush that properly applied pain causes...well, it's skytockets for many people without any other stimulation
 
2012-10-01 02:39:17 PM  
Wow... what a bunch of freaks on here.

Me... I just like to pee on people... that's my thing.

Elevators mostly... they can't get away there.
 
2012-10-01 02:40:42 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Wow... what a bunch of freaks on here.

Me... I just like to pee on people... that's my thing.

Elevators mostly... they can't get away there.


R., is that you?
 
2012-10-01 02:41:24 PM  

clyph: Gothnet: But all y'all are generally pretty unlikeable human beings.

Funny, I feel the same way about vanillas.

In my experience, you'll find a lot more unlikeable manipulative control freaks at a church social than in a dungeon.


Manipulative control freaks are manipulative control freaks whatever walk of life they're in.

I'm glad you enjoy your thing. I hope you're not perpetuating psychological damage in the women you interact with.
 
2012-10-01 02:42:37 PM  

Magnanimous_J: No matter how much you try to sterilize "the scene" by making it sound like some kind of sexual libertarianism, you are still getting off by reopening old emotional trauma, either in yourself or your partner. Just because your mom put out her cigarettes on your skin when she came home drunk and now you can't get it up without a red hot bic lighter on your ass, doesn't mean it's a healthy thing to engage in.


So what about people in the scene who have experienced no trauma? You're assuming people are always into BDSM who were abused somehow. I know its a popular trope to add in films aimed at the vanilla market like The Secretary but this doesn't mean that kinky people grew up badly. Yes it does happen sometimes, but you will find people with unfortunate pasts in any community if you are looking for it.
 
2012-10-01 02:45:39 PM  

clyph: Magorn: cluesless as those fascists who insist on "Safe Sane and Consensual", rather than the much hipper "Risk-aware Consensual Kink

I'm old guard. I use SSC because that's what I learned. I don't object to calling it RACK, it's just not my preferred nomenclature. Without getting into pedantic hair-splitting, they're both asking the same thing: are the people involved doing it of their own free will, aware of the risks, exercising rational judgement, and taking appropriate safety precautions?


Yeah that was a hipster joke not a serious comment about the relative merits of either one. I'm actually still a firm SSC person for the simple reason that I generally tend to be one of those who has to fix problems, contact hospitals, and make excuses to the Gendarmes if something goes horribly wrong (I also tend to "Ranger" at Burning Man-type events so my reaction to "risk-aware" is a lot like the people that want to tell me that trying to leap/run through the 2000-deg fire stack is a form of "radical self expression" for them. True as that may be, it infringes on my right of "radical not having to save your dumb ass AFTER you do something colossaly stupid and/or potentially fatal)
 
2012-10-01 02:45:42 PM  
Different shades for different trades, but in my experience and in little to no relation to the kink trade, I've noticed people who are actively and outwardly having to show uniqueness, 'difference,' or some other general need to belong typically are people of little actual substance once you break down the 'unique' trait they've attributed to themselves.

So my question to the active kinkers are, how often does it come up that people are in this lifestyle just to fit into the alternative lifestyle, and how many are actually in it for the actual kinky sex?
 
2012-10-01 02:50:56 PM  

The Muthaship: Pray 4 Mojo: Wow... what a bunch of freaks on here.

Me... I just like to pee on people... that's my thing.

Elevators mostly... they can't get away there.

R., is that you?


I don't think so...
 
2012-10-01 02:56:20 PM  

Rent Party: The legions of fatties that feel liberated enough to get off to whatever gets them off as a result of this shiatty book are just as legitimately kinky as you are, Hipster McSpankalot. You are not unique. You have no special knowledge.


I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way. It's funny in the same way a baby learning to walk is funny. If that gets them off, they're welcome go for it. Some of them might eventually get a clue and start living in reality instead of bad fiction, but everyone has to start somewhere. Maybe that is a bit elitist of me, but I'm not stopping them from living out their bad fantasies.

If I'm DMing at a club/party and I see someone is doing something I know to be unsafe, you can be damn sure I'll stop the scene. It doesn't matter if they're old guard and been in the scene longer than I've been alive or it's some newb trying to do something that he read in a book. Style or source of information has nothing to do about it. It's about specific actions that are unsafe. A choking hazard is a choking hazard no matter where you got the idea for it or how important it is to your fantasy. If you're breaking the skin you're either using proper sterile procedure or your not. If a sub safewords and the dom ignores it, I will intervene. And so forth.

You sound like you're butthurt that a DM like me wouldn't allow you to endanger the safety of your sub at an event he was in charge of. Boo farking hoo. Learn to play safe, or go somewhere else and we'll read about you in the newspaper when you're arrested for injuring or killing your partner.
 
2012-10-01 02:57:40 PM  
The kinkiest people are the ones who were raised by religious or controlling parents.
 
2012-10-01 02:58:40 PM  
Meh, no thanks. I'll keep mine oatmeal. Too old and not willing to go through what that guys going to go through just because someone changed their mind.


Nobody goes to prison for missionary or dog style.
 
2012-10-01 03:01:09 PM  
Beat me, fark me, make me write bad checks.

/oblig
//has never understood the appeal of S&M
 
2012-10-01 03:04:41 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: The legions of fatties that feel liberated enough to get off to whatever gets them off as a result of this shiatty book are just as legitimately kinky as you are, Hipster McSpankalot. You are not unique. You have no special knowledge.

I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way. It's funny in the same way a baby learning to walk is funny. If that gets them off, they're welcome go for it. Some of them might eventually get a clue and start living in reality instead of bad fiction, but everyone has to start somewhere. Maybe that is a bit elitist of me, but I'm not stopping them from living out their bad fantasies.



Oh wait, but

"Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK."

That you need rules and "DMs" and have to ensure that D is capitol but that S is lower case tells me just exactly how shallow and uninteresting you, and every hipster scenester you know, really are.

You're guys aren't kinky, you're a pathetic attention whores desperate for attention, and lacking any real differentiating aspects, club together to make up rules.


You sound like you're butthurt that a DM like me wouldn't allow you to endanger the safety of your sub at an event he was in charge of. Boo farking hoo. Learn to play safe, or go somewhere else and we'll read about you in the newspaper when you're arrested for injuring or killing your partner.


The notion that you think you would ever have anything to say about what I do and don't do is *exactly* the kind of hipster douchbag rule fetish I'm talking about, and *exactly* the kind of control freak asshole bit mentioned above. "Allow me?" Who the fark do you think you are?

I know who you're not: You're not special. You are not a snow flake. You're just another boring hipster with a bad wardrobe.
 
2012-10-01 03:06:10 PM  

Magorn: I generally tend to be one of those who has to fix problems, contact hospitals, and make excuses to the Gendarmes if something goes horribly wrong (I also tend to "Ranger" at Burning Man-type events so my reaction to "risk-aware" is a lot like the people that want to tell me that trying to leap/run through the 2000-deg fire stack is a form of "radical self expression" for them. True as that may be, it infringes on my right of "radical not having to save your dumb ass AFTER you do something colossaly stupid and/or potentially fatal)


Same here (although I don't do Burning Man type events; I did used to be a chiurgeon and heavy weapons / archery marshall at SCA events). Basically all those activities involve keeping people who are caught up in what they are doing from hurting themselves or others inadvertently, and cleaning up the damage when they do.

We need to get together for a beer when I get back to VA (I'm in TX now).
 
2012-10-01 03:06:20 PM  
consent is not a defense to assault resulting in serious physical injury

I guess I should change careers (I was going to be a surgeon).
 
2012-10-01 03:08:39 PM  

lewismarktwo: The kinkiest people are the ones who were raised by religious or controlling parents.



Thanks.  I didn't need to think about my mother's kink.  You just made the list bub.  Right after I go throw up.
 
2012-10-01 03:11:29 PM  

Rent Party: Who the fark do you think you are?


If I'm the DM, I'm the guy who's job it is to keep people from going to the hospital, jail, or the morgue. If I'm just an attendee, safety it's somebody else's problem until someone starts screaming for help.
 
2012-10-01 03:11:48 PM  

Cats_Lie: consent is not a defense to assault resulting in serious physical injury

I guess I should change careers (I was going to be a surgeon).


Other people that should look for new careers: Skydiving instructors, hang-gliding instructors, trainers at rock climbing gyms, teachers of martial arts, chiropractors, phlebotomists, tattoo artists, piercers....

/In general, if serious physical injury occurs, someone farked up.
//If *permanent* physical injury occurs, someone *really* farked up.
 
2012-10-01 03:13:07 PM  

Marcintosh: Meh, no thanks. I'll keep mine oatmeal. Too old and not willing to go through what that guys going to go through just because someone changed their mind.


Nobody goes to prison for missionary or dog style.


Really....?

I would bet a few guys have gone to prison for doggy style.
 
2012-10-01 03:13:32 PM  

ChuDogg: Rent Party: I used to get a ration of shiat whenever I would observe that there isn't a woman on the planet that doesn't like a smack in the ass, and to be told she's pretty.

This 50 Shades thing has validated my observations, and I simply refer anyone objecting to that truth to the NYT best seller's list for more information.

And also, in before the hipsters telling us that whatever those people were up to wasn't *real* kink...

Greymalkin: Thanks to women working hard like so:

[blsciblogs.baruch.cuny.edu image 500x756]

Then future generations following it up:

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]

[www.newyorker.com image 465x315]

Women in the Western world are more liberated, free, educated and able to make whatever choices they like than in any other time or place in human history.

And with that freedom of choice they have picked the following works (written by women for women) as their selections to outsell and thus by association represent their desires over everything else directed at their gender.

[images.wikia.com image 300x420]

[www.arnizachariassen.com image 850x429]

The following is how the patriarchy feels about this outcome.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]



Lookup the "Norway paradox" or Norwegian paradox. As liberal democracies expand and women more and more are free to choose their path, the biological differences actually become more pronounced. The result is that Norway, one of the most feminist countries in the world,actually has more pronounced gender differences than most conservative countries, including places like Pakistan and Indian. The theory is that since the outcome is not forced, women naturally and biologically more inclined to fields like nursing or child care, while conservative areas women are often forced into fields like medicine and law.

You could make the same hypothesis in the social agreement. As we are more and more free to chose our own mates and have power in the relationship, women are making choices drawn from their biological urges. The result is that women are listing to be over powered and control, even though publicly they proclaim to want fairness and equality. The result is a whole generation of men who almost walk on egg shells to court women, yet they are being drawn even more to alpha males (and men who appear to be alpha). So a minority of men, pysopayhs, thugs, and abusers have no shortage of wowomen while stable middle class engineer types troll eharmony hopelessly. I would expect to see more of this, as well as polyamorous marriages and relationships as these dominant men have less to hold them back from courting a multitude of women willing to withstand abuse. This case has less to do withe rights of women but a legal system that can no longer maintain traditional social mores.


This is the saddest thing I have read on fark.
 
2012-10-01 03:13:57 PM  

clyph: If I'm DMing at a club/party


How sexually damaged does a person have to be to not only GO to a SM party, but to be the ref? I just can't imagine the mindset of someone who wakes up in the morning, and has "make sure these freaks don't hemorrhage each other with rubber horse dongs" on the calender.
 
2012-10-01 03:16:58 PM  
clyph:

There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten because they're proven to be inherently unsafe..

I've been reading your posts and now I'm curious as to what exactly is on that list...
 
2012-10-01 03:17:40 PM  

Rent Party: The notion that you think you would ever have anything to say about what I do and don't do is *exactly* the kind of hipster douchbag rule fetish I'm talking about, and *exactly* the kind of control freak asshole bit mentioned above. "Allow me?" Who the fark do you think you are?


Yes, telling you "That's a choking hazard, stop it" is being a hipster douchebag.
Saying "You can't break skin without following sterile procedure" is an unreasonable fetish rule
Telling you "your sub used the house safeword, and you ignored it. Pack your shiat and get out." is an intrusion on your imagined rights.

Got it.

You probably don't like the bartender cutting you off or the bouncer throwing you out of a bar, either.
 
2012-10-01 03:17:42 PM  

Magorn: Fun fact: Compulsive Gamblers, studies have proven,do not get addictted to the feeling they get whenhey win, most have little or no emotional reaction when they win, even when they win big. What they get addicted to, ironically enough, is the chemicals that make that small sick, scared feeling you get whe you lose, particularly when you lose money you can't afford to lose in the first place.

So people also eroticize that scared feeling, which isn't suprising given the proximity of the genetalia to the pit of your stomach, and so anticpation of pain and or humliation becomes a sensation that, if not exactly pleasurable, is still sought after, and when you combine that with the endorphin rush that properly applied pain causes...well, it's skytockets for many people without any other stimulation


This is interesting. I'm not a gambler, but my father was - and I am kinky, but (at least as far as I've tried) not masochistic.

/I identify as a Sadistic Service-Oriented Switch.
 
2012-10-01 03:20:26 PM  

Cats_Lie: consent is not a defense to assault resulting in serious physical injury

I guess I should change careers (I was going to be a surgeon).


Actually it IS a defense, what is mis-named as "assault" in most criminal cases is, tecnically speaking, "battery" and the legal defintion of that is "an UNCONSENTED TO harmful or offensive contact" (assault is technically making someone afraid that a battery is imminent)

Thus boxing, hockey, and football are able to legally exist
 
2012-10-01 03:21:59 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: The notion that you think you would ever have anything to say about what I do and don't do is *exactly* the kind of hipster douchbag rule fetish I'm talking about, and *exactly* the kind of control freak asshole bit mentioned above. "Allow me?" Who the fark do you think you are?

Yes, telling you "That's a choking hazard, stop it" is being a hipster douchebag.
Saying "You can't break skin without following sterile procedure" is an unreasonable fetish rule
Telling you "your sub used the house safeword, and you ignored it. Pack your shiat and get out." is an intrusion on your imagined rights.

Got it.

You probably don't like the bartender cutting you off or the bouncer throwing you out of a bar, either.


Look, you're farked up no matter how "civilized" you act when you're being all freaky.

Also, as a DM, do you have a cape? Got any stories about rolling a natural 20 at just the right time?
 
2012-10-01 03:24:17 PM  

Magnanimous_J: How sexually damaged does a person have to be to not only GO to a SM party, but to be the ref? I just can't imagine the mindset of someone who wakes up in the morning, and has "make sure these freaks don't hemorrhage each other with rubber horse dongs" on the calender.


Mostly it's just a matter due diligence on the part of the host. Over 20 years I've had to intervene maybe 3 or 4 times. I view it in about the same light as volunteering to be the designated driver.
 
2012-10-01 03:26:01 PM  
If you get your sexual kicks from inflicting pain on and exerting total control over others, you are one step below a serial killer in my book. That is, of course, until you actually kill someone.....
 
2012-10-01 03:30:57 PM  

EnglishMan: Also, as a DM, do you have a cape? Got any stories about rolling a natural 20 at just the right time?


Ha ha!!!

I totally get it!!
 
2012-10-01 03:31:17 PM  

The Muthaship: If you get your sexual kicks from inflicting pain on and exerting total control over others, you are one step below a serial killer in my book. That is, of course, until you actually kill someone.....


bizarro i love you bizarro

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-10-01 03:38:06 PM  

fireclown: JWideman: Like "See this scar across my ribcage? It's my favorite.

That's not sex. That's a symptom.


Maybe, but it worked for them. I try not to judge.
 
2012-10-01 03:39:06 PM  

DWitchiewoman: I've been reading your posts and now I'm curious as to what exactly is on that list...


House rules vary based on location but the general set of rules I go by are:
No play under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
House safeword is ____. You will be forcibly restrained if you do not respect it.
No choking hazards
Make sure bound limbs have adequate blood flow
No suspension scenes without spotters (or maybe even no suspension, depending on venue)
Follow proper sterile procedure for any bodily fluids.
Wipe down the equipment when you're done.
Don't intrude on anyone else's scene without being invited. Keep a respectful distance when watching.

Depending on venue (public club vs private party) there may be no-nudity or no-penetration rules that have to be followed for legal reasons.
 
2012-10-01 03:40:44 PM  

Baelz: We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.


It's more confusing than that. He had consensual SM sex with his wife, which put her in the hospital. He later was accused of nasty nonconsensual stuff with another woman. They're trying to use the SM stuff with his wife as evidence against him in the trial.

I don't think there's enough in the article to determine if its use is appropriate.
 
2012-10-01 03:44:09 PM  
The article really doesn't say what kind of injuries she sustained or even who made the initial complaint or what evidence they have. farking daily mail.
 
2012-10-01 03:45:50 PM  
clyph :
House rules vary based on location but the general set of rules I go by are:
No play under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
House safeword is ____. You will be forcibly restrained if you do not respect it.
No choking hazards
Make sure bound limbs have adequate blood flow
No suspension scenes without spotters (or maybe even no suspension, depending on venue)
Follow proper sterile procedure for any bodily fluids.
Wipe down the equipment when you're done.
Don't intrude on anyone else's scene without being invited. Keep a respectful distance when watching.

Depending on venue (public club vs private party) there may be no-nudity or no-penetration rules that have to be followed for legal reasons.


Thanks for your reply. That all sounds completely reasonable. Amazing how the imagination can run with a lack of info...
 
2012-10-01 03:46:47 PM  

clyph: DWitchiewoman: I've been reading your posts and now I'm curious as to what exactly is on that list...

House rules vary based on location but the general set of rules I go by are:
No play under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
House safeword is ____. You will be forcibly restrained if you do not respect it.
No choking hazards
Make sure bound limbs have adequate blood flow
No suspension scenes without spotters (or maybe even no suspension, depending on venue)
Follow proper sterile procedure for any bodily fluids.
Wipe down the equipment when you're done.
Don't intrude on anyone else's scene without being invited. Keep a respectful distance when watching.

Depending on venue (public club vs private party) there may be no-nudity or no-penetration rules that have to be followed for legal reasons.


Interesting... my gym has the same set of rules.
 
2012-10-01 03:48:12 PM  
Hmmmm...I see a theme here. Everyone is picking on the Dom saying he's sick and twisted, but nothing about subs who want to submit and participate of their own free will. People in the lifestyle are not in it for the attention. For the majority of the day/week/year we HAVE to HIDE what we are.

clyph thank you for being a DM. You provide a very important stability to the scene.

As far as "Dom" men being control freaks and manipulative? Yeah, they don't last long. I've only been part of our club for 3 years and I've seen plenty of that type come and go. There is a huge difference in between being Dominant and dominating.
 
2012-10-01 03:49:46 PM  
And sheesh, I need a good flogging soon.
 
2012-10-01 03:51:15 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Interesting... my gym has the same set of rules.


It really isn't all that different. Another rule I forgot is "If you don't know how to use a piece of equipment, ask."

99% of it is just common courtesy and basic safety precautions.
 
2012-10-01 03:54:59 PM  

DWitchiewoman: That all sounds completely reasonable


No, it's incredibly hipster douchebag elitism :)
 
2012-10-01 03:57:33 PM  

Aello: And sheesh, I need a good flogging soon.


EIP.
 
2012-10-01 03:57:52 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Baelz: We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.

It's more confusing than that. He had consensual SM sex with his wife, which put her in the hospital. He later was accused of nasty nonconsensual stuff with another woman. They're trying to use the SM stuff with his wife as evidence against him in the trial.

I don't think there's enough in the article to determine if its use is appropriate.


It was the other woman he put in the hospital. And the case against him seems largely to be based on that woman being mentally challenged. It's hard to tell from this article alone, but there's a lot more information here:
Link
Basically, there's a LOT more to the story than "he had kinky sex with her and things went wrong."
 
2012-10-01 03:59:38 PM  
clyph:

No, it's incredibly hipster douchebag elitism :)

I giggled
 
2012-10-01 04:00:18 PM  

Aello: And sheesh, I need a good flogging soon.


in the immortal words of either Socrate or Yakko Warner (I always get them confused)
heeeellllooo NURSE!
 
2012-10-01 04:03:19 PM  

JWideman: Basically, there's a LOT more to the story than "he had kinky sex with her and things went wrong."


Carpet bomb the whole area.
 
2012-10-01 04:07:32 PM  
Remember : if you can't get off without a complicated ritual and set of mind games, this makes you better and more specialer than people who can.
 
2012-10-01 04:09:16 PM  
I love BDSM threads. They always give me a few more ignorant, narrow-minded bigots to add to my block list.
 
2012-10-01 04:09:38 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: Who the fark do you think you are?

If I'm the DM, I'm the guy who's job it is to keep people from going to the hospital, jail, or the morgue. If I'm just an attendee, safety it's somebody else's problem until someone starts screaming for help.


So you're the guy that thinks "consenting adults" need a referee?

Mighty kinky of you, Senator.

You guys are all posers, and phony as a three dollar bill.
 
2012-10-01 04:11:59 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: The notion that you think you would ever have anything to say about what I do and don't do is *exactly* the kind of hipster douchbag rule fetish I'm talking about, and *exactly* the kind of control freak asshole bit mentioned above. "Allow me?" Who the fark do you think you are?

Yes, telling you "That's a choking hazard, stop it" is being a hipster douchebag.



I'm the guy that will tell you to get the fark out of my sex, douchebag. *I and my partner,* being consenting adults, will decide what is and isn't appropriate. And we will do it all without the wisdom of your expertise.


You probably don't like the bartender cutting you off or the bouncer throwing you out of a bar, either.

Am I farking in the bar? No?

 
2012-10-01 04:15:16 PM  
interesting, however if the court convicts them, there's no reason this case law couldn't be applied to anyone engaging in anal sex, or any number of other "adventurous" sex acts.
 
2012-10-01 04:17:49 PM  
Rent Party, people like clyph are there to make sure people don't get seriously hurt. Beginners may not know where the lines are and he's there to step in if something goes sideways. And actually I know more authentic people in the scene than out. Stop being judgmental. Just because we don't follow the same path doesn't mean we're any less "real" than you.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:32 PM  

Rent Party: So you're the guy that thinks "consenting adults" need a referee?


Do you go to a gym?
Does that gym have rules?
Does that gym have someone who enforces those rules?
Does that person kick you out if you don't follow those rules?
Do you get the point yet?

Whenever you have an event that's open to the public, you always get that one asshole (like you) who thinks the rules don't apply to him. Someone (like me) has to be there to keep him from hurting somebody or ruining the party for everyone else.
 
2012-10-01 04:18:56 PM  

Magorn: Cats_Lie: consent is not a defense to assault resulting in serious physical injury

I guess I should change careers (I was going to be a surgeon).

Actually it IS a defense, what is mis-named as "assault" in most criminal cases is, tecnically speaking, "battery" and the legal defintion of that is "an UNCONSENTED TO harmful or offensive contact" (assault is technically making someone afraid that a battery is imminent)

Thus boxing, hockey, and football are able to legally exist


ding ding ding!

If you don't have a problem with football players smashing heads until they can't remember their names, you have no business telling sex freaks to tone it down, since both cases are consensual.
 
2012-10-01 04:19:21 PM  

The Muthaship: JWideman: Basically, there's a LOT more to the story than "he had kinky sex with her and things went wrong."

Carpet bomb the hole area.


Kinky...
 
2012-10-01 04:26:27 PM  

Aello: Rent Party, people like clyph are there to make sure people don't get seriously hurt. Beginners may not know where the lines are and he's there to step in if something goes sideways. And actually I know more authentic people in the scene than out. Stop being judgmental. Just because we don't follow the same path doesn't mean we're any less "real" than you.


Beginners? Lines? That doesn't sound like "I'm OK with your kink." That sounds like a stratified social structure where some people are more equal than others because, well, they know the rules and stuff. They use words like "vanilla" to describe someone else's sex, all the while proclaiming how egalitarian they are. People like clyph are classic followers that have created a set of rules that enable them to climb a completely fictional social hierarchy.

And that is *entirely* the point. People that go in for that kind of thing aren't kinky, they're boring. They can have their rules and their pathetic little ladder if it makes them a big fish in their little pond, but lets not sit around and pretend that it's anything other than that.

People have been farking since we crawled out of the muck as alligators. I'm pretty sure they can figure it out without your help.

"Beginners." Fark you.
 
2012-10-01 04:28:56 PM  

Thisbymaster: I would expect to see more of this, as well as polyamorous marriages and relationships as these dominant men have less to hold them back from courting a multitude of women willing to withstand abuse.


Don't confuse polyamory (stupid farking term) with polygamy.
 
2012-10-01 04:29:04 PM  

clyph:
Whenever you have an event that's open to the public, you always get that one asshole (like you) who thinks the rules don't apply to him. Someone (like me) has to be there to keep him from hurting somebody or ruining the party for everyone else.


So we can dispense with your fiction of "I'm OK with your kink" then, right? And we can acknowledge that my description of "I'm OK with your kink so long as it follows this list of rules right here, and doesn't at all resemble anything out of this stupid ass book, and you acknowledge that you are a silly n00b and I am the kink master" is *entirely* accurate.

You guys are pathetic. Really. Close minded asshole control freaks, the lot of you.
 
2012-10-01 04:30:11 PM  
Oh and while I do realize that this should be about the couple. Lots of people are denigrating Doms but not a word on Dommes. Same opinions or are they ok because they're women?
 
2012-10-01 04:30:15 PM  

jigger: Thisbymaster: I would expect to see more of this, as well as polyamorous marriages and relationships as these dominant men have less to hold them back from courting a multitude of women willing to withstand abuse.

Don't confuse polyamory (stupid farking term) with polygamy.


Polygamy is one wife too many, just like monogamy.

/ I'm here all night!
 
2012-10-01 04:30:30 PM  
So ... BDSM folks are hipsters? Confused.
 
2012-10-01 04:30:47 PM  

Rent Party: clyph: Rent Party: Who the fark do you think you are?

If I'm the DM, I'm the guy who's job it is to keep people from going to the hospital, jail, or the morgue. If I'm just an attendee, safety it's somebody else's problem until someone starts screaming for help.

So you're the guy that thinks "consenting adults" need a referee?

Mighty kinky of you, Senator.

You guys are all posers, and phony as a three dollar bill.


How are they phony? He isn't going into their bedrooms. He is at a public place where people go to be together and they expect the extra protection of the dm
 
2012-10-01 04:32:02 PM  

Aello: Just because we don't follow the same path doesn't mean we're any less "real" than you.


Something tells me that people who "walk your path" had more uncles who loved tickle fights than the average kid, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-10-01 04:36:06 PM  

No_Good_Name:
How are they phony? He isn't going into their bedrooms. He is at a public place where people go to be together and they expect the extra protection of the dm


He's a smarmy pretentious douche that casts dispersion on whatever it is that is getting other people off.

Observe:

No, really, allow me to demonstrate, with you first.


There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten

Verbotten? But I thought...

Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK


And also...
...which hipster douche said this?

When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".


He isn't an "I'm OK you're OK" equal opportunity freak, he's a rigid, close minded socialite protecting his place in the fiefdom. That he would sneer at whatever motivated someone else to fark in whatever way makes them happy, and then assumes he has some kind of authority or right to judge is *classic* hipster.
 
2012-10-01 04:36:24 PM  
Hi, guys! What's going on in this thread?
 
2012-10-01 04:36:52 PM  

Rent Party: I'm the guy that will tell you to get the fark out of my sex, douchebag. *I and my partner,* being consenting adults, will decide what is and isn't appropriate. And we will do it all without the wisdom of your expertise.


Then do it at home, not at a public event or a party I'm running. Because I'll kick your ass out and perma-ban you if you can't play safe and follow the rules... although I suspect your epic butthurt stems from the fact that you've already been black-balled from every scene club within a hundred miles of you. If you can't understand that your know-it-all arrogance endangers EVERYONE in the scene, you are persona non grata.

I'll be looking forward to reading about you in a future thread after you're arrested for your unsafe, reckless, and probably non-consensual behavior. And then we all get to explain AGAIN why assholes like you aren't representative of (or welcome in) the organized BDSM community.
 
2012-10-01 04:40:04 PM  
I see BDSM as a sexual preference myself. I've had to come to terms with sexual issues that fall into this realm. I don't think people can understand how loving it can be for a Dom to care for a sub sexually and emotionally. I don't think people want to admit how far a sub will go to elicit acts like flogging. I think BDSM can provide a safe, cathartic outlet for even twisted desires that could lead to criminal acting out. True sadism is actually rare, Doms know their subs are royally getting off.
 
2012-10-01 04:40:53 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: So you're the guy that thinks "consenting adults" need a referee?

Do you go to a gym?
Does that gym have rules?
Does that gym have someone who enforces those rules?
Does that person kick you out if you don't follow those rules?
Do you get the point yet?

Whenever you have an event that's open to the public, you always get that one asshole (like you) who thinks the rules don't apply to him. Someone (like me) has to be there to keep him from hurting somebody or ruining the party for everyone else.


Is that guy always from Cincinnati?
 
2012-10-01 04:41:31 PM  

Rent Party: You guys are pathetic. Really. Close minded asshole control freaks, the lot of you.


Yep, just like the lifeguard at the pool tells you "no running" and "no diving in the shallow end" is a close minded asshole control freak. He's just there to rain on your parade and be a buzzkill, not to save your stupid ass when you get in over your head.

Go away until you learn to act like a socially responsible adult instead of a spoiled, know-it-all child.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:52 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: I'm the guy that will tell you to get the fark out of my sex, douchebag. *I and my partner,* being consenting adults, will decide what is and isn't appropriate. And we will do it all without the wisdom of your expertise.

Then do it at home, not at a public event or a party I'm running. Because I'll kick your ass out and perma-ban you if you can't play safe and follow the rules...



My goodness, what a control freak douchebag you are. *Ban* me? Heavens no!

Do you moderate internet chat boards as well?


I'll be looking forward to reading about you in a future thread after you're arrested for your unsafe, reckless, and probably non-consensual behavior. And then we all get to explain AGAIN why assholes like you aren't representative of (or welcome in) the organized BDSM community.


Wah wah wah... "Organized BDSM community." High maintenance, highly judgemental queens looking for acceptance and rigidly inflexible with their rules. The exact *opposite* of kinky, in other words. Boring, one might say.
 
2012-10-01 04:44:17 PM  
Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.
 
2012-10-01 04:44:36 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: You guys are pathetic. Really. Close minded asshole control freaks, the lot of you.

Yep, just like the lifeguard at the pool tells you "no running" and "no diving in the shallow end" is a close minded asshole control freak. He's just there to rain on your parade and be a buzzkill, not to save your stupid ass when you get in over your head.


Right. So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right? Because as of right now, you've equated yourself to a bounce, a life guard, told me how you was gonna permaban me, and in other words demonstrated *exactly* what I said you were, which was a lonely control freak that absolutely *wasn't* OK with someone else's kink.


Go away until you learn to act like a socially responsible adult instead of a spoiled, know-it-all child.


I know pretentious douchebags when I see 'em.
 
2012-10-01 04:46:43 PM  

Rent Party: I know pretentious douchebags when I see 'em.


Yep, you just need to look in the mirror.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:08 PM  
I'm all for kink but this (FTA):


Among the allegations in the indictment, Bagley is accused of sewing the woman's "urinary opening and vagina shut" to demonstrate what was "expected of her," nailing her labia and nipples to slabs of wood, and performing abortions on the girl."

Is far and beyond a fun night of whips and hand cuffs.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:24 PM  

DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.


If you can demonstrate in any way a substantial difference between hipsters and public BDSM people, you would be the first.

They are both fixated on appearance. They both present themselves as non-judgmental while in actuality are highly judgmental. They both seek scenarios where they can proclaim some special knowledge (you'd probably never heard of that) and both insist on a rigid social structure driven by a "scene." And they are both really, really boring.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:45 PM  
I STILL consider myself a beginner. In the group belong to there are many people who do things way beyond what _I_ am willing to do but that's their dynamic and I don't judge them. I have been lucky enough to find a bunch long timers who have been willing to teach me the ropes.
 
2012-10-01 04:49:08 PM  

JWideman: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Baelz: We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.

It's more confusing than that. He had consensual SM sex with his wife, which put her in the hospital. He later was accused of nasty nonconsensual stuff with another woman. They're trying to use the SM stuff with his wife as evidence against him in the trial.

I don't think there's enough in the article to determine if its use is appropriate.

It was the other woman he put in the hospital. And the case against him seems largely to be based on that woman being mentally challenged. It's hard to tell from this article alone, but there's a lot more information here:
Link
Basically, there's a LOT more to the story than "he had kinky sex with her and things went wrong."


WOW... ok this guy "Master Ed" is a sick bastard, and predator. That just screams massive red flags for abuse, and outright criminal activity. This is not any where near acceptable in any community, and we educate subs/bottoms to look out for creeps like this.
 
2012-10-01 04:50:01 PM  

Aello: I STILL consider myself a beginner. In the group belong to there are many people who do things way beyond what _I_ am willing to do but that's their dynamic and I don't judge them. I have been lucky enough to find a bunch long timers who have been willing to teach me the ropes.


To conform to their expectations, I think you mean.
 
2012-10-01 04:52:28 PM  

Rent Party: So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right?


You missed the "as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual" part there skippy.

Safety is not optional. If you are not aware of the risks and willing to take appropriate precautions, it's not acceptable.

Sanity is not optional. If anyone is not capable of assessing the risks either through age, intoxication, or mental incapacity, it's not acceptable.

Consent is not optional. If anyone is not a completely willing participant who is legally able of giving informed consent, it is not acceptable.

If you can't live with those simple rules, you are a danger to yourself and others.

I don't care what your kink is, or what fantasy you care to enact, as long as you do it safely with a consenting partner.
 
2012-10-01 04:52:56 PM  

Magnanimous_J: Aello: Just because we don't follow the same path doesn't mean we're any less "real" than you.

Something tells me that people who "walk your path" had more uncles who loved tickle fights than the average kid, if you know what I mean.



Assume again. I actually had a great childhood. No one molested me, had a roof, food and a wonderful family.
 
2012-10-01 04:53:11 PM  

Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.


Clever.
 
2012-10-01 04:56:02 PM  
Actually Rent Party, just the opposite. They taught me to never let anyone push beyond my hard limits, what red flags to look for, always ask for references before playing with someone new, take my time and see what _I_ want to try and what I don't.
 
2012-10-01 04:56:59 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.

Clever.


That wasn't even intentional.
 
2012-10-01 04:57:51 PM  

Rent Party: DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.

If you can demonstrate in any way a substantial difference between hipsters and public BDSM people, you would be the first.



I can relate to what you're saying. There a some a lot self claimed Doms who come from the "swinger" scene. Basically they're swingers who like to spice things up while getting their dicks wet. They are very VERY much into more of the "How do I look" than any serious SM. I see a lot of the subs go through these chumps very quickly. Most of them don't know wtf to do once the spank and tickle is over, and they always think it's just about sex. They always give me the "hipster cool guy" feeling. I'd say about 1 out of 10 actually mean it..
 
2012-10-01 04:58:19 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right?

You missed the "as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual" part there skippy.

I don't care what your kink is, or what fantasy you care to enact, as long as you do it safely with a consenting partner.


And you along to make that judgment.
 
2012-10-01 05:00:27 PM  
Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?
 
2012-10-01 05:01:22 PM  

Aello: Pray 4 Mojo: Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.

Clever.

That wasn't even intentional.


That's even better. Ha!
 
2012-10-01 05:09:46 PM  

Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.


If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.
 
2012-10-01 05:17:04 PM  

bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.


Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.
 
2012-10-01 05:26:19 PM  

DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.



Uh, no, that indicates that there are two groups.

I will chalk this up to "no, you can not differentiate the two in a meaningful way" and put it to bed.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?
 
2012-10-01 05:28:42 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.

If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.


After reading several of your posts, I'm finding that DMing is like being a lifeguard at a pool. Let people have their fun, but if they're being dangerous or dumb then you blow the whistle. Does DMing stand for dungeon mastering? And you might be able to tell me how far off I was in my previous post.
 
2012-10-01 05:28:48 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.

If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.


I'm protesting douchebags like you that sneer down their noses at "n00bs" and other people getting off on whatever it is that gets them off. Those people and their silly book! They aren't *real* scensters like you! They don't know the rules!

Pathetic.
 
2012-10-01 05:29:04 PM  
FTFA: Ed Bagley, 45, of Lebanon, Missouri, is accused of grooming a young woman to be his sex slave starting in 2002, then keeping her captive for years while making money from her images on fetish Internet sites and forcing her to work as a dancer at strip clubs. [...] The case came to light in early 2009 after the woman, then 23, was hospitalized after what prosecutors said was a torture session.

So. 23 in 2009 would make her 16 in 2002. Maybe 17, I suppose, and maybe 15. Still seems a wee bit young to be a slave.

/Can't think of anything sadder than people who feel the need to have contorted sex in public
//Unless it's the guys whose Great Task in Life is supervising them.
 
2012-10-01 05:29:06 PM  

Lollipop165: I'm all for kink but this (FTA):


Among the allegations in the indictment, Bagley is accused of sewing the woman's "urinary opening and vagina shut" to demonstrate what was "expected of her," nailing her labia and nipples to slabs of wood, and performing abortions on the girl."

Is far and beyond a fun night of whips and hand cuffs.


Actually... it's what a true kink is, isn't it?
There's vanilla kink, like doggystyle and furry cuffs and playswings.
And then there's true kink.
 
2012-10-01 05:32:32 PM  

Deman: bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.

Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.


So basically, they're like the biatches into 'being raped', the rape fantasy biatches.
Or the dudes into transsexual prostitution who play games with how far they can
go with 'straight' dudes until the pick ups can no longer deny they're also men and beat the fk out of them.
 
2012-10-01 05:34:35 PM  

Rent Party: DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.



Uh, no, that indicates that there are two groups.

I will chalk this up to "no, you can not differentiate the two in a meaningful way" and put it to bed.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?


Rent Party, I know what you're getting at.
I have to ask, though: are you a homosexual?
Are there differences in the scene when it comes to straights
versus homos?
Like the differences between straights and homos
when it comes to swinging?
 
2012-10-01 05:35:07 PM  
Rent Party:

If they were the same, there would be one group, not 2. You're basically just using the word "hipster" to describe something that annoys you as I guess hipsters do. Not the same thing though.

Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??
 
2012-10-01 05:39:44 PM  

Deman: After reading several of your posts, I'm finding that DMing is like being a lifeguard at a pool. Let people have their fun, but if they're being dangerous or dumb then you blow the whistle.


That's pretty much it. Unsurprisingly, some people have a problem with being told to stop acting like a jackass.

Does DMing stand for dungeon mastering?

It does. Considering that a LOT of people in the scene are also gamers, the double meaning is not completely unintentional.

And you might be able to tell me how far off I was in my previous post.

About the lifeguard analogy? Pretty darn close.
 
2012-10-01 05:39:56 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Deman: bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.

Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.

So basically, they're like the biatches into 'being raped', the rape fantasy biatches.
Or the dudes into transsexual prostitution who play games with how far they can
go with 'straight' dudes until the pick ups can no longer deny they're also men and beat the fk out of them.


Well, I'm also one person who only has 6 or so data points out of a much larger set so my conclusions can hardly be considered thorough. From them I can only conclude that is just one motivation of many, and one that not everyone will have.
 
2012-10-01 05:40:19 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 05:49:10 PM  

DWitchiewoman: Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??


Somebody needs to get laid.
 
2012-10-01 05:50:02 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu:

Rent Party, I know what you're getting at.
I have to ask, though: are you a homosexual?


No. Purely hetrosexual, although I have no objections to participation by other guys if the lady and I agree to it. They aren't what I'm there, for, though.


Are there differences in the scene when it comes to straights
versus homos?


I'm sure there are. It is irrelevant to me, though. I don't do "scenes" at all, as they are the antithesis of what choice is supposed to be about, sexually speaking. Sex is about what the participants make it. It does not require the input of anyone else, no matter how important they think they are.

Basically, if you describe yourself as belonging to "a scene" you are doing whatever it is for the wrong reason. It is a sign of insecurity that you need to belong to something that badly. And I have lots of hobbies where "scenes" are present. I find them all boring, even for activities that I love.


Like the differences between straights and homos
when it comes to swinging?


I dunno, man. I don't know what those differences are. Whatever they are, I hope they make the swingers happy.
 
2012-10-01 05:54:56 PM  

Baelz: I'd say about 1 out of 10 actually mean it..


Sturgeon's law: 90% of everything is crap. It's pretty much a constant regardless of what you're talking about.

People are people, regardless of what they're doing. The bell curve of human ability is inescapable: 10% will irredeemably suck, 80% percent will wallow in insipid, uninspired mediocrity, and 10% will distinguish themselves.
 
2012-10-01 05:58:44 PM  
You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.
 
2012-10-01 06:05:44 PM  
Pray 4 Mojo :

DWitchiewoman: Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??

Somebody needs to get laid.


No, actually I'm just trying to learn a few things...
 
2012-10-01 06:07:36 PM  
I've been involved in BDSM for over 25 years, and there is actually lots of ways in which you can break down someone to the point where the concept of "consent" is really murky.

Even vanilla guys usually know how to take a girl with low self esteem and basically have their way with them.

With submissives and slave inclined people it is even easier, you can use all the "regular" methods used by cults, armies, employers to basically take control of them and progressively put them into a position (physically, mentally, financially) where they are dependent and unable to act or think independently. The psychology of this is really well established. In BDSM it is common to get them to sign "contracts", break off contact with friends and family, give up control of their finances, collar them, brand them, physically cage them. This stuff is now quite common -- I guarantee every neighborhood in US has people living in such subjugation.

So the legal question gets complicated when you can say "but the person wants to lose their freedom" or "the person wants to be tortured and have their bodies branded and modified".

Again, I practice all this stuff myself, but I see lots of examples in the BDSM community where I understand why society would want to re-examine the idea of consensuality. I guarantee that you can make a living out of enslaving people, and at that point it is true that there is little distinction versus the legal definition of "trafficking".

Also, in BDSM you will encounter many people that are mentally ill by any definition. There are people who I regularly encounter who would be willing to pay to have body parts amputated, or even killed through erotic means (like the German Cannibal case).

The tricky thing here is that we have to argue whether there is a "freedom" in choosing to relinquish freedom. No easy answer.
 
2012-10-01 06:08:54 PM  

jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


Any group has it's culture, and to fit into that group you have to accept that culture.

The culture of the BDSM scene, in my experience, is one of the most tolerant and accepting groups of people you'll find. There may be some good-natured ribbing, and well as a lot of debate on some contentious issues, but we all pretty much acknowledge that we're in the same boat even if we disagree on the details. IMHO, the real hot-button issues are safety and consent; considering that these are the factors that distinguish BDSM from abuse, there's little tolerance for dissent on those issues.
 
2012-10-01 06:13:56 PM  

jabelar: it is even easier, you can use all the "regular" methods used by cults, armies, employers to basically take control of them and progressively put them into a position (physically, mentally, financially) where they are dependent and unable to act or think independently. The psychology of this is really well established.


Classic abusive/controlling personality: Link

And jaylectricity, I've been thinking the same thing throughout this today...
 
2012-10-01 06:14:43 PM  

jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.
 
2012-10-01 06:15:11 PM  

clyph:

The culture of the BDSM scene, in my experience, is one of the most tolerant and accepting groups of people you'll find.



> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

Lawlz.
 
2012-10-01 06:19:23 PM  

Baelz: jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.

There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.


What he has been talking about is judgmental attitudes about whatever gets other people off.

> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

If he's into public displays of his own bad Dom self, then groovy. No one (but me) is going to knock him for it. Where he gets completely derailed is with smarmy assed comments like this.

> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

That kind of stuff demonstrates *exactly* what he thinks its about. It isn't about kink, or sex, or getting off on whatever gets you off. It's about looking down on whatever gets someone off.

I would much rather hang out with a room full of fat housefraus that just figured out it was OK to like kinky shiat because they read SoG that I would with a pretentious douche that thinks they're all noobs because they aren't going to do it they way he thinks it aught to be done.
 
2012-10-01 06:30:09 PM  

jaylectricity: it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


Also, I won't deny there's a healthy dose of this:
imgs.xkcd.com

and some of this:
www.austinchronicle.com

But you're going to get that in any group. You get 3 or more human beings together in a group and there are going to be factions, politics, and cliques. It's inescapable.

In the BDSM scene those kinds of disagreements are mostly good-natured and tongue-in-cheek. Mostly the reaction to noobs who have silly ideas is to nurture and educate them, not exclude them.

Of course you always get one or two assholes who have to make a stink. But again, that's human nature.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:46 PM  
I am a submissive woman but I am NOT a doormat. I know the difference between a man who is dominant, and one who is simply domineering. If I want to play in public at the club, I know there are rules and there are people who enforce those rules like clyph. I follow them or I am kicked out. Same thing at private house parties. If I want to do something not within those rules, then I play one on one with my play partner. You're trying to make it sound like a bad thing that people actually have to live by these rules but there are instances where people get SEVERELY injured and have to go to the ER. 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.
 
2012-10-01 06:35:49 PM  

Aello: I am a submissive woman but I am NOT a doormat. I know the difference between a man who is dominant, and one who is simply domineering. If I want to play in public at the club, I know there are rules and there are people who enforce those rules like clyph. I follow them or I am kicked out. Same thing at private house parties. If I want to do something not within those rules, then I play one on one with my play partner. You're trying to make it sound like a bad thing that people actually have to live by these rules but there are instances where people get SEVERELY injured and have to go to the ER. 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.


I'm sure it's not, but are you going to try to deny that there are subs that are groomed and domineered into a position where they feel they have to do these things? And that that's utterly unacceptable?
 
2012-10-01 06:38:40 PM  

Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap


Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.


Aaaand, my case in point.
 
2012-10-01 06:41:13 PM  
I don't deny it, and yes it is unacceptable if it's not their dynamic. If someone is bullied, put down and abused to get them into that position, it is unacceptable.
 
2012-10-01 06:44:29 PM  
Rent Party, oh don't get me wrong! I am OVERJOYED that there's a renewed interest in BDSM. More new people to meet, new and interesting ideas to exchange, new tricks to learn. It's a GREAT thing. Just not accurate. Anne Rice's Beauty trilogy was more of a stab in right direction.
 
2012-10-01 06:47:48 PM  

Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.


THIS. Hence my earlier comment about "LOL noobs".

It's good that it's spreading mainstream awareness about BDSM relationships and portraying them in a positive light.

It's bad because it's spreading misinformation and perpetuating stereotypes. It's still better than Twilight, though.

I like the Sleeping Beauty trilogy better - it's so over-the-top and obviously set in a fictional universe that it can't be mistaken as anything but fantasy. Story of O while far-fetched is set in the real world, as is 50 Shades, so it's more tempting to use them as a basis for IRL play.

Of course Gor is another completely fantastical settings, and some people take that FAR too seriously - although in my experience, Goreans are mostly people who play almost exclusively online and have little to no real-world practical experience. Gor is/was a gateway into the IRL community. I know dozens of people who's initial exposure to BDSM was through Gor, I can't think of any of them who still took it seriously after taking their interest offline.
 
2012-10-01 06:48:27 PM  

Rent Party: Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap

Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.

Aaaand, my case in point.


Well.. It's fantasy so what's your point? I got a lot of ideas from reading the Beauty series, and hell even some crap from the Anita Blake series have inspired me. I don't have a problem with the SoG people getting an interest in BDSM at all. I've met subs who got into this from reading Harry Potty fan fiction... Who cares how/why they got an interest.
 
2012-10-01 06:50:21 PM  

Aello: Rent Party, oh don't get me wrong! I am OVERJOYED that there's a renewed interest in BDSM. More new people to meet, new and interesting ideas to exchange, new tricks to learn. It's a GREAT thing. Just not accurate.


Accurate according to who? "The scene?" The Approved Bondage Committee? Or perhaps according to a bunch of insecure fetishists upset that some "vanilla" might be doing things differently?

That is a story about two people getting off in whatever way it got them off. That is *exactly* the kind of thing you are all swearing up and down you are all in favor of. And yet, all it receives from the Expert Crowd is derision about how it ain't the real thing, as if there is such a thing.


Anne Rice's Beauty trilogy was more of a stab in right direction.

The right direction. Exactly.

Check.
 
2012-10-01 06:52:44 PM  

Gothnet: I'm sure it's not, but are you going to try to deny that there are subs that are groomed and domineered into a position where they feel they have to do these things? And that that's utterly unacceptable?


There are subs in that position. It is unacceptable.

One of the important things is that the community is aware of it, works to educate people as to the problem, and helps get people recognize that they're in a bad relationships and helps them get out.
 
2012-10-01 06:52:45 PM  

Baelz: Rent Party: Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap

Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.

Aaaand, my case in point.

Well.. It's fantasy so what's your point? I got a lot of ideas from reading the Beauty series, and hell even some crap from the Anita Blake series have inspired me. I don't have a problem with the SoG people getting an interest in BDSM at all. I've met subs who got into this from reading Harry Potty fan fiction... Who cares how/why they got an interest.


Our resident experts apparently do. Those SoG folks are just noobs, ya know. Whatever they're doing isn't *real* BDSM. Only what I'm doing is real. Look here! It says so right on my Scene Approved List of Real Stuff!
 
2012-10-01 06:58:26 PM  
ok, you know what, I'm done responding to you after this. I think that you want us to be so divisive and close minded so you feel ok about judging us. You find one thing and decide on that as and excuse to not get to know us as individuals. To you, we're ALL boring, the same and hipsters. We annoy you for some unfathomable reason. The story is about two people desperately trying to change the other into what he/she wants. I'm sorry if I see wanting to change someone as a bad thing. Wait, no I'm not. I don't fit into society's expectations of what I should be. But I'm ok with that, I'm where I want to be and I am good with who I am. I hope you have a good life. Namaste
 
2012-10-01 06:58:31 PM  
and since nobody else wanted to come out and admit it...

I totally have the weirdest boner right now.
 
2012-10-01 07:01:04 PM  

Aello: ok, you know what, I'm done responding to you after this. I think that you want us to be so divisive and close minded so you feel ok about judging us. You find one thing and decide on that as and excuse to not get to know us as individuals. To you, we're ALL boring, the same and hipsters. We annoy you for some unfathomable reason. The story is about two people desperately trying to change the other into what he/she wants. I'm sorry if I see wanting to change someone as a bad thing. Wait, no I'm not. I don't fit into society's expectations of what I should be. But I'm ok with that, I'm where I want to be and I am good with who I am. I hope you have a good life. Namaste


Yes, so long as you find it suitable to sit around and talk about how someone else is doing it wrong, I'm going to judge you for the intolerant, rigid thinking, boring follower that you are.

This isn't about you, cupcake (a common failing of hipsters), it's about all those people you denigrate for whatever it is that gets them off.
 
2012-10-01 07:01:57 PM  

Rent Party: Accurate according to who? "The scene?" The Approved Bondage Committee? Or perhaps according to a bunch of insecure fetishists upset that some "vanilla" might be doing things differently?


According to people who know what the fark they are doing and who have learned, through trial and (often painful) error, what works in the real world and what doesn't.

AS in "yeah, that sounds cool in writing, but if you try that in real life she'd get a dislocated shoulder"
 
2012-10-01 07:07:49 PM  

Baelz: There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.


But that's not what Rent Party is arguing with him about. Do you think Rent Party is trying to make it so he can go to clyph's party and do whatever he wants? No...he's pointing out the elitist attitude that's possessed.

It's the same as FLYNAVY coming in here and talking about how us noob civies don't know what it's like to get shot at while flying a Lockheed Martin C-130 Hercules. Then Aello (CommandantSavant) comes in to say, "Hells yeah!"
 
2012-10-01 07:08:20 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: Accurate according to who? "The scene?" The Approved Bondage Committee? Or perhaps according to a bunch of insecure fetishists upset that some "vanilla" might be doing things differently?

According to people who know what the fark they are doing and who have learned, through trial and (often painful) error, what works in the real world and what doesn't.


So when two people are farking in a way they discover in SoG, as millions are doing right this very moment, that's not "the real world?" They need you around to ref for them? Should they call you in for a consult before they try something out? Are you the arbiter of what is "the real world" now, too?

You know what? You need to get out more. You have a very limited experience, and it is clouding your judgement.
 
2012-10-01 07:10:12 PM  

jaylectricity: Baelz: There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.

But that's not what Rent Party is arguing with him about. Do you think Rent Party is trying to make it so he can go to clyph's party and do whatever he wants? No...he's pointing out the elitist attitude that's possessed.

It's the same as FLYNAVY coming in here and talking about how us noob civies don't know what it's like to get shot at while flying a Lockheed Martin C-130 Hercules. Then Aello (CommandantSavant) comes in to say, "Hells yeah!"


I spent six years on an aircraft carrier, and FLYNAVY is still one of my personal Fark Heroes. That thread was epic. But I digress...

/ Sometimes you need kinda' douchey to make a point. :)
 
2012-10-01 07:39:23 PM  
How boring is your life that you can only get off to inflicting or receiving pain?
 
2012-10-01 07:43:47 PM  

Rent Party: Baelz: Rent Party: Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap

Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.

Aaaand, my case in point.

Well.. It's fantasy so what's your point? I got a lot of ideas from reading the Beauty series, and hell even some crap from the Anita Blake series have inspired me. I don't have a problem with the SoG people getting an interest in BDSM at all. I've met subs who got into this from reading Harry Potty fan fiction... Who cares how/why they got an interest.

Our resident experts apparently do. Those SoG folks are just noobs, ya know. Whatever they're doing isn't *real* BDSM. Only what I'm doing is real. Look here! It says so right on my Scene Approved List of Real Stuff!


I can honestly say I've never seen someone quite so dedicated at trolling something they clearly have no real world experience with. Why don't you nip off to the next gun porn thread and call them all fascists because they generally insist on a set of agreed-upon ground rules when handling dangerous weapons. You don't like house rules? then don't play at those houses, but also don't be shocked that no one will play with you, because this game is all about trust and moderated danger, and if you can't agree to the ground rules of the community very few people will trust you to play with them
 
2012-10-01 07:47:10 PM  
Okay, let's play the analogy game, at least with how I understand what y'all are describing.

When I was in high school, I started doing whitewater kayaking. Now, one of the most fun parts is to find a good bit of rapids, with a nice wave or two, and stay there all afternoon. Inevitably, lots of folks show up if it's a nice day. At every single one, there's a standard way to 'get in line' and a pretty standard way to go through anything complicated.

So someone new looks at it and thinks "these guys are a bunch of assholes! They all want me to do it their way instead of mine!" But you know why everyone is telling them that they aren't allowed to do what they just did anymore? It's because they started by nearly whacking someone with the bow of their boat, continued by just missing a potential deathtrap of a wave, and finished by forcing someone to bail on a cool trick to get out of their way.

The guy saying, "you ought to do it this way" isn't necessarily trying to stop you being yourself, he might just be trying to stop you hurting yourself or someone else.

That being said, y'all do seem to talk about folks who are new to your brand of sex and sex related activities or completely uninterested like they're not as cool as you are.

Also, 'vanilla' isn't a pejorative. Vanilla ice cream is the best and it goes with everything. When's the last time you put rocky road on a slice of fresh pecan pie? That's right. Your sex life might be the rocky road to my vanilla, but my sex life involves pecan pie.

/What? My fiancee makes really good pie.
 
2012-10-01 08:24:07 PM  

Robert Poopsmith: Remember : if you can't get off without a complicated ritual and set of mind games, this makes you better and more specialer than people who can.


you know.. a lot of people in the community can get off either way. they do it because they find it fun.

also . for all you trolls.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Edition V) (the next edition of THE BOOK on mental illness) on the specifically states that BDSM falls well within the range of "normal" human psychology. so grow up, trolls.
 
2012-10-01 08:24:11 PM  

Rent Party: Aello: ok, you know what, I'm done responding to you after this. I think that you want us to be so divisive and close minded so you feel ok about judging us. You find one thing and decide on that as and excuse to not get to know us as individuals. To you, we're ALL boring, the same and hipsters. We annoy you for some unfathomable reason. The story is about two people desperately trying to change the other into what he/she wants. I'm sorry if I see wanting to change someone as a bad thing. Wait, no I'm not. I don't fit into society's expectations of what I should be. But I'm ok with that, I'm where I want to be and I am good with who I am. I hope you have a good life. Namaste

Yes, so long as you find it suitable to sit around and talk about how someone else is doing it wrong, I'm going to judge you for the intolerant, rigid thinking, boring follower that you are.

This isn't about you, cupcake (a common failing of hipsters), it's about all those people you denigrate for whatever it is that gets them off.


I was setting this argument out, because besides the poorly construed attempts at generalization and armchair psychology you've gotten a lot of bites from your trolling, and that really amuses me. But, aren't you accusing others of doing the same thing you're doing here, and chiding THEM for it?

I mean, my God. Can you be any more blatently obvious of a concern troll than this? I expected better of you, man.


profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-10-01 08:27:24 PM  

Aello: I STILL consider myself a beginner. In the group belong to there are many people who do things way beyond what _I_ am willing to do but that's their dynamic and I don't judge them. I have been lucky enough to find a bunch long timers who have been willing to teach me the ropes.


Hehe, you said ropes. Sorry, it just tickled me.
 
2012-10-01 08:37:30 PM  

clyph: Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.

If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.


his face is hidden.. find a better one and EIP and i'll try to research

Gothnet: I'm sure it's not, but are you going to try to deny that there are subs that are groomed and domineered into a position where they feel they have to do these things? And that that's utterly unacceptable?


haven't seen it, i doubt it doesn't happen. not it isn't acceptable because they essentially cannot consent.
 
2012-10-01 08:41:07 PM  
"I don't deal with women I got to tell them what to do." - Charlie Manson

Seriously, I prefer women who can be good allies: smart, strong women with self-respect. That doesn't mean they can't be sluts, only that they can't be submissive masochists.

Why a man would want anything else is beyond me. Maybe you're not man enough for a real woman? 

And don't be telling me about "biology." If it's women's nature to be submissive masochists than it's men's nature to be wife-beaters and rapists. Get it?

What separates us from the "lower animals" is our ability to reason, to run our lives using the front parts of our brains that lizards and goats don't have. Even when you're naked.
 
2012-10-01 08:42:01 PM  

jaylectricity:
But that's not what Rent Party is arguing with him about. Do you think Rent Party is trying to make it so he can go to clyph's party and do whatever he wants? No...he's pointing out the elitist attitude that's possessed.
"


you're confusing basic legal and safety rules for "elitism". not sure if you're a troll, or just haven't read the damn thread. if it is unsafe, nonconsensual then it is unacceptable. please tell me where he elitism is in that?
 
2012-10-01 08:43:35 PM  

The One True TheDavid: ....


just because they're a sub in he dungeon, doesn't mean they're a push over outside of it (or even outside of the scene mind you)
 
2012-10-01 08:53:21 PM  

The One True TheDavid: "I don't deal with women I got to tell them what to do." - Charlie Manson

Seriously, I prefer women who can be good allies: smart, strong women with self-respect. That doesn't mean they can't be sluts, only that they can't be submissive masochists.

Why a man would want anything else is beyond me. Maybe you're not man enough for a real woman? 

And don't be telling me about "biology." If it's women's nature to be submissive masochists than it's men's nature to be wife-beaters and rapists. Get it?

What separates us from the "lower animals" is our ability to reason, to run our lives using the front parts of our brains that lizards and goats don't have. Even when you're naked.


Just because I'm a submissive doesn't mean I don't have self-respect. It doesn't mean I'm weak and it doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent. The Doms I know love the qualities you mention in their submissives.
 
2012-10-01 09:00:20 PM  

Kazan: just because they're a sub in he dungeon, doesn't mean they're a push over outside of it (or even outside of the scene mind you)


Usually, quite the opposite. Most subs I know actually have a crapload of responsibility and authority outside the bedroom. Submission gives them a temporary vacation from that.
 
2012-10-01 09:04:04 PM  

BronyMedic: it's about all those people you denigrate for whatever it is that gets them off.


Derpy is one to talk.
 
2012-10-01 09:06:34 PM  

The One True TheDavid: That doesn't mean they can't be sluts, only that they can't be submissive masochists.


And the hilarious thing is that women who tend to be submissive or masochistic in the bedroom most often tend to be those in positions of power and control in real life. Submissive men are the same way. It's a "release" for them. It's not about being a weak willed individual - it's a game.

The One True TheDavid: If it's women's nature to be submissive masochists than it's men's nature to be wife-beaters and rapists. Get it?


Weird, the DSM-IV-TR (Current Revision) and the DSM-V (The Upcoming) both state that BDSM and Sadomasochism are normal human sexual variations that are only to be considered unhealthy or pathological when certain distinct conditions exist.

The One True TheDavid: Why a man would want anything else is beyond me. Maybe you're not man enough for a real woman?


Because control is sexy. Both men and women like to swap it around in some form or another. Even if it's just the top partner pinning the bottom partner's wrists against the mattress in the missionary position. The endorphins and adrenaline released heighten the sensations of sex.
 
2012-10-01 09:13:25 PM  
The wife is NOT the one he's being charged with abusing, although the Daily Mail headline and first paragraph deliberately muddle matters.
 
2012-10-01 09:14:31 PM  

jaylectricity: But that's not what Rent Party is arguing with him about. Do you think Rent Party is trying to make it so he can go to clyph's party and do whatever he wants? No...he's pointing out the elitist attitude that's possessed.


So, if I get together with a group of consenting adults who enjoy being tied up and gone to town on, and I don't allow them to suspend one of their partners in my house, where I have legal liability as well as criminal responsibility, with metal handcuffs - a practice which can cause severe limb and nerve injury - then I'm an elitist? If one of the bottoms says no, or uses a safeword, and the top doesn't listen, and I eject that top from my premises on the grounds that they neither did something that was safe, sane, or consensual, I'm an elitist?

Am I a hipster because I don't want someone using the excuse of BDSM to fark animals or children on my property?

I'm a prick because I don't want someone playing with cutting, piercing, or doing things which spread infectious bodily fluids, and put me at major risk of getting a lawsuit, or going to jail for a crime even though it was a consensual act between two adults?

Of course there are rules. There's a reason the concept of limits, and safe/sane/consensual play. Because there is always a chance someone could die, or be severely injured from completely consensual play. And it does happen, and the courts and public tend to frown on such acts.

But, let's get away from that: What happened in this article was neither consensual, or would be condoned by any rational human being.

jaylectricity:
It's the same as FLYNAVY coming in here and talking about how us noob civies don't know what it's like to get shot at while flying a Lockheed Martin C-130 Hercules. Then Aello (CommandantSavant) comes in to say, "Hells yeah!"

So, I'm confused here. Are you saying that Aello is a sock puppet for Clyph? Or are you saying that Rent Party would know better about kinky play than people who have done kinky play for years and decades of their life?
 
2012-10-01 09:17:38 PM  
The Muthaship:

If you get your sexual kicks from inflicting pain on and exerting total control over others, you are one step below a serial killer in my book.

Bingo. Very much this.
 
2012-10-01 09:19:08 PM  

Aello: Rent Party, oh don't get me wrong! I am OVERJOYED that there's a renewed interest in BDSM. More new people to meet, new and interesting ideas to exchange, new tricks to learn. It's a GREAT thing. Just not accurate. Anne Rice's Beauty trilogy was more of a stab in right direction.


Sleeping Beauty trilogy had offensive class issues going down within it.
 
2012-10-01 09:19:44 PM  

Kazan: jaylectricity:
But that's not what Rent Party is arguing with him about. Do you think Rent Party is trying to make it so he can go to clyph's party and do whatever he wants? No...he's pointing out the elitist attitude that's possessed.
"

you're confusing basic legal and safety rules for "elitism". not sure if you're a troll, or just haven't read the damn thread. if it is unsafe, nonconsensual then it is unacceptable. please tell me where he elitism is in that?


You are the one missing the point. I think it's great that clyph is doing a service for people that want to get kinky without all the responsibility of knowing what's safe and what's morally acceptable. It's just the part where he thinks he's some kind of expert because he rolls with people that want to do things a specific way. That there has to be a BDSM "community" and you have to be a part of it if you expect to be legitimately kinky.

It's a joke.

BronyMedic: I expected better of you, man.


You did? Pfft.
 
2012-10-01 09:20:17 PM  
Robert Poopsmith:

Remember : if you can't get off without a complicated ritual and set of mind games, this makes you better and more specialer than people who can.

OH. Now ya tell me.
 
2012-10-01 09:21:14 PM  
clyph:

I love BDSM threads. They always give me a few more ignorant, narrow-minded bigots to add to my block list.

Please subscribe me to your block list.
 
2012-10-01 09:23:10 PM  

BronyMedic: Are you saying that Aello is a sock puppet for Clyph?


I don't know if she's in to fisting, but I'd make her my puppet if she is :)
 
2012-10-01 09:24:25 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Please subscribe me to your block list.


You are now tagged as "willfully ignorant bigot". Happy?
 
2012-10-01 09:25:56 PM  
spiderpaz:

If you don't have a problem with football players smashing heads until they can't remember their names, you have no business telling sex freaks to tone it down, since both cases are consensual.

I do have a problem with football players smashing heads until they can't remember their names: I don't like stupid people who try to become stupider. In my book they're worse than BDSMers, and that's saying something.

Boxing and American football, no; basketball and soccer, yes.

(Therefore y'all should elect me Monarch of the Internet.)
 
2012-10-01 09:26:11 PM  

BronyMedic: So, if I get together with a group of consenting adults who enjoy being tied up and gone to town on, and I don't allow them to suspend one of their partners in my house, where I have legal liability as well as criminal responsibility, with metal handcuffs - a practice which can cause severe limb and nerve injury - then I'm an elitist?


Here's the problem...none of you farking know how to read. This has nothing to do with that. Rent Party is banging on him for the way he is posting in this thread. RP has clarified it MULTIPLE times. The "LOL NEWBS" and such.

This has nothing to do with the BDSM parties that clyph works for. It is all about his attitude in this thread.
 
2012-10-01 09:29:32 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Sleeping Beauty trilogy had offensive class issues going down within it.


That's about the least offensive thing. The rampant nonconsensuality is far more disturbing. And some of the scenes described would be potentially lethal if attempted in IRL.
 
2012-10-01 09:30:15 PM  

jaylectricity: This has nothing to do with the BDSM parties that clyph works for. It is all about his attitude in this thread.


Learn to distinguish between snark and serious.
 
2012-10-01 09:30:25 PM  

The One True TheDavid: The Muthaship:

If you get your sexual kicks from inflicting pain on and exerting total control over others, you are one step below a serial killer in my book.

Bingo. Very much this.


Well, David. I'm glad have you. Without your opinion, we would have to listen to men and women who have made Psychiatry and Psychology their life's work.

The One True TheDavid: Please subscribe me to your block list.


Don't ignore him! He earned a "Pedophile Apologist" tag on my FARK for some reason (Should have tagged it with the thread number.) People like that are always amusing.

jaylectricity: It's just the part where he thinks he's some kind of expert because he rolls with people that want to do things a specific way. That there has to be a BDSM "community" and you have to be a part of it if you expect to be legitimately kinky.


Can you quote to me where he says that he's an "expert", or acts like you have to be part of a group to be kinky? Frankly, it sounds like quite a few people in this thread are trying to shove their morals down other people's throats, who are doing consensual acts with adults making informed decisions in the privacy of their own venues or homes. I find that FAR more offensive as an American, and as a human being, than the fact that someone likes to get off while being flogged while others watch.

And no offense, but if he's been doing it for any length of time - AND is a member of a local BDSM group put in the position of overseeing play parties, I'd expect for him to know what he's doing. And if he's hosting the venue, he's liable for any civil damages that occur under his watch. And, under the eyes of the court of public opinion, and the law in some situations, he could be criminally liable for anything from assault, to facilitation of rape, if he didn't step in.

You don't have to be in a BDSM group to be kinky. I enjoy a bit of the bondage, and I'd never be a part of that. But if you're going to play IN a group with other people, you should damn well expect to follow their rules, or GTFO and go somewhere else. Especially with something still as taboo as BDSM.

jaylectricity: BronyMedic: I expected better of you, man.

You did? Pfft.


You're damn right I expect better of my favorite trolls.
 
2012-10-01 09:32:06 PM  

The One True TheDavid: "I don't deal with women I got to tell them what to do." - Charlie Manson

Seriously, I prefer women who can be good allies: smart, strong women with self-respect. That doesn't mean they can't be sluts, only that they can't be submissive masochists.

Why a man would want anything else is beyond me. Maybe you're not man enough for a real woman? 

And don't be telling me about "biology." If it's women's nature to be submissive masochists than it's men's nature to be wife-beaters and rapists. Get it?

What separates us from the "lower animals" is our ability to reason, to run our lives using the front parts of our brains that lizards and goats don't have. Even when you're naked.


No, as the Reverend Mother Helen Gaius Mohiam observed ""You've heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There's an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind"

If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.
 
2012-10-01 09:32:49 PM  
clyph:

the organized BDSM community.

An organized community for the sexually deranged. How special.

Maybe what I need is an organized BTOF community. One rule: no teeth. And you've got to let me use a glory hole because once you see the rest of me you'll want hazard pay.


*Blow The Old Fart. Line forms here.
 
2012-10-01 09:35:17 PM  

jaylectricity: Here's the problem...none of you farking know how to read. This has nothing to do with that. Rent Party is banging on him for the way he is posting in this thread. RP has clarified it MULTIPLE times. The "LOL NEWBS" and such.


What little I've seen has consisted of RP being a concern troll and a textbook example of Tu Quo Quo. It's not my fault that he's had his humerus removed.

If you're going to call out others for their behavior, don't exhibit the exact same behavior while standing on a ground of moral superiority.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Sleeping Beauty trilogy had offensive class issues going down within it.


I'm pretty sure the beauty trilogy has enough in it to earn it's own entry under "Squick" on TvTropes. Including beastiality and scat.

The offensive class issues are the least of it's concerns.

However, Gor makes the Beauty trilogy out to look like Hemmingway.
 
2012-10-01 09:38:51 PM  

The One True TheDavid: An organized community for the sexually deranged. How special.


tallraz.com

The One True TheDavid: Maybe what I need is an organized BTOF community. One rule: no teeth. And you've got to let me use a glory hole because once you see the rest of me you'll want hazard pay.


You've never worked in a nursing home. You know the poor CNAs have to clean the old folks up after, right?
 
2012-10-01 09:39:32 PM  

BronyMedic: Can you quote to me where he says that he's an "expert"?


clyph: Hence the mantra of the BDSM community: Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual).

There's a big difference between saying "I don't like ____, so I'm not going to do it" and "I don't like ____, so you shouldn't be allowed to do it". No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level; they wouldn't be so understanding if you denigrated people who like things that you don't.

I've been in the scene for close to 20 years,


After "explaining" the scene, he validates it by saying he's been there for 20 years. The scene.

BronyMedic: Can you quote to me where he says that he acts like you have to be part of a group to be kinky?


clyph: When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".
clyph: No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level;

That's close enough to give some credence to what Rent Party is saying. If you need exact wording, then I assume you have joined the Troll Party and want to drag this out further. Who knows...maybe I'll let you.
 
2012-10-01 09:41:24 PM  
Stupid "too many nested tags" BS.
 
2012-10-01 09:42:39 PM  
Arthen:

How boring is your life that you can only get off to inflicting or receiving pain?

This.
 
2012-10-01 09:46:16 PM  
Kazan:

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Edition V) (the next edition of THE BOOK on mental illness) on the specifically states that BDSM falls well within the range of "normal" human psychology. so grow up, trolls.

Oh right, because I should live my life according to a handbook for labeling "mental problems" so HMOs will pay the bills.

Sheesh.

Please subscribe me to your Ignore list too.
 
2012-10-01 09:50:06 PM  

jaylectricity: After "explaining" the scene, he validates it by saying he's been there for 20 years. The scene.


So he's been playing kinky with an established group of consenting adults, or with a consenting adult partner, for 20 years, but in your mind he doesn't know what he's talking about because he uses lingo that would be expected of people talking to other people who are in that group?

Pro-Tip: People who are into BDSM refer to it as a "scene" normally, because it lets them talk about liking being tied up and gone to town on without most people who are not into public or group kink knowing what they are talking about.

jaylectricity: That's close enough to give some credence to what Rent Party is saying.


Rent Party has been Tu Quo Quo trolling from the beginning. The fact that you're white knighting someone who's calling other people out on their supposedly "hipster" behavior, while claiming to be part of the "normals" is deliciously ironic.

jaylectricity: clyph: When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".


If you take your ideas and images about the BDSM-practicing community of consensual adults from a book who's main character, Christian Gray, is only into BDSM because it gives him an excuse - in the author's own words - to legally physically and sexually abuse women because he himself was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused as a child by his family - then you deserve to be laughed at. Imagine that, people who have consensually decided to have a relationship which implements elements of power exchange would be offended by that characterization, which is a complete myth.

How dare he not like people portraying him as a power hungry abuser. The nerve of him!

jaylectricity: clyph: No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level;


Because telling someone you don't want to have needles piercing your nipples in a play scene is the same as taking your ideas about what BDSM is actually about from a book which characterizes dominant males in the BDSM lifestyle as abusers, amirite?

jaylectricity: Who knows...maybe I'll let you.


Oh, I can't wait.

img841.imageshack.us
 
2012-10-01 09:52:41 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Oh right, because I should live my life according to a handbook for labeling "mental problems" so HMOs will pay the bills.


Ladies and gentlemen, the Dunning-Kruger effect.

So, please, David. Tell us why BDSM is so wrong? I'm curious.
 
2012-10-01 09:52:58 PM  
Aello

did you use to post under another account? you look familiar



The One True TheDavid: Kazan:

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Edition V) (the next edition of THE BOOK on mental illness) on the specifically states that BDSM falls well within the range of "normal" human psychology. so grow up, trolls.

Oh right, because I should live my life according to a handbook for labeling "mental problems" so HMOs will pay the bills.

Sheesh.

Please subscribe me to your Ignore list too.


please grow up.
 
2012-10-01 09:59:06 PM  
Aello:

Just because I'm a submissive doesn't mean I don't have self-respect. It doesn't mean I'm weak and it doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent. The Doms I know love the qualities you mention in their submissives.

To me that's like saying "Just because I keep kosher, go to synagogue and wear a yarmulke doesn't mean I'm Jewish."

Smart, strong people with self-respect cannot be submissive masochists. It's a contradiction in terms.

However somebody can tell you you're so smart, strong and self-respecting so you'll keep coming back for twisted pseudosex.

Don't get it? Then I am the son-in-law of an overthrown African dictator who'll be glad to pay you millions to help me get my loot out of the country.

People say a lot of shiat. Like this one hooker tried to tell me how gorgeous and wonderful I am. I told her if that were true she should pay me. ("*crickets*")
 
2012-10-01 09:59:22 PM  

BronyMedic: jaylectricity: After "explaining" the scene, he validates it by saying he's been there for 20 years. The scene.

So he's been playing kinky with an established group of consenting adults, or with a consenting adult partner, for 20 years, but in your mind he doesn't know what he's talking about because he uses lingo that would be expected of people talking to other people who are in that group?

Pro-Tip: People who are into BDSM refer to it as a "scene" normally, because it lets them talk about liking being tied up and gone to town on without most people who are not into public or group kink knowing what they are talking about.

jaylectricity: That's close enough to give some credence to what Rent Party is saying.

Rent Party has been Tu Quo Quo trolling from the beginning. The fact that you're white knighting someone who's calling other people out on their supposedly "hipster" behavior, while claiming to be part of the "normals" is deliciously ironic.

jaylectricity: clyph: When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

If you take your ideas and images about the BDSM-practicing community of consensual adults from a book who's main character, Christian Gray, is only into BDSM because it gives him an excuse - in the author's own words - to legally physically and sexually abuse women because he himself was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused as a child by his family - then you deserve to be laughed at. Imagine that, people who have consensually decided to have a relationship which implements elements of power exchange would be offended by that characterization, which is a complete myth.

How dare he not like people portraying him as a power hungry abuser. The nerve of him!

jaylectricity: clyph: No one in the scene would judge you for setting your limits according to your own comfort level;

Because telling someone you don't want to have needles piercing your nipples in a play scene is the same as taking your ideas about what BDSM is actually about from a book which characterizes dominant males in the BDSM lifestyle as abusers, amirite?

jaylectricity: Who knows...maybe I'll let you.

Oh, I can't wait.


I'm "normals?" Care to tell me how you think you know what I do I'm my spare time?

Let me guess... because I find your scene pathetic, I must there fore be claiming to be normals! That's an awesome example of the presumptuous arrogance I just love pointing out. Because if you're in a scene, you're special, right?

Right?
 
2012-10-01 10:02:48 PM  

BronyMedic: So he's been playing kinky with an established group of consenting adults, or with a consenting adult partner, for 20 years, but in your mind he doesn't know what he's talking about because he uses lingo that would be expected of people talking to other people who are in that group?


No, that's not what I said at all. I'm sure he knows tons of stuff.

BronyMedic: How dare he not like people portraying him as a power hungry abuser. The nerve of him!


Haven't even read the books or know enough about them to know what they say about the BDSM community.

BronyMedic: Oh, I can't wait.


I am white knighting the fact that everybody (including you) is completely missing the point of Rent Party's posts. He is calling out douchey forum behavior, and if there's anybody on this board that would recognize douchey behavior, it's RENT PARTY.
 
2012-10-01 10:04:55 PM  
I can see why I'm siding with Rent Party on this. I have never ever been able to fit into any "scene" because every scene is full of a bunch of jackoffs that think they're better than everybody else.

You want to claim that I feel morally superior to those in these scenes, but the truth is, I love sour grapes. They're freaking delicious.
 
2012-10-01 10:05:01 PM  

The One True TheDavid: ....


look at the little ignorant douche, isn't he precious?

where's your mommy? does she know you're out of the basement, exposure to sunlight might harm you!
 
2012-10-01 10:05:38 PM  
i smell three sockpuppets. Rent Party=jaylectricity=The One True TheDavid
 
2012-10-01 10:07:34 PM  

jaylectricity: That there has to be a BDSM "community" and you have to be a part of it if you expect to be legitimately kinky.


I didn't say that.

There are lots of people who are kinky without being part of the community.

If you do want to be part of a community, ANY community, you have to conform to that groups norms.

I don't care about "legitimately kinky" or not. I don't care if you use capital letters when referring to a dominant. I don't care if you call me sir or master or hey you (unless you are MY submissive and have agreed to do so). I don't care if you wear latex or leather or black denim or your street clothes. That's fluff.

"Right" and "wrong" is subjective. "Safe" and "unsafe" are objective standards, as are "consensual" and "non-consensual".

I care about people not hurting themselves or others, whether it be through ignorance or malice. I care about people being made to do things against their will. I care about sexual freedom and acts which jeopardize that freedom for everyone. I care about how the community is perceived by the public.

Yes, I do have personal opinions on some things that I find silly, immature, or ill-advised, but it's just that - an opinion, although one based on nearly 2 decades of experience, observation, and study.
 
2012-10-01 10:13:54 PM  
clyph:

Kazan: just because they're a sub in he dungeon, doesn't mean they're a push over outside of it (or even outside of the scene mind you)

Usually, quite the opposite. Most subs I know actually have a crapload of responsibility and authority outside the bedroom. Submission gives them a temporary vacation from that.


Then they're weak frauds. And too stupid to know that "temporary vacation" does not have to involve whips & chains.

A vacation from being a boss would be stepping out of hierarchies, not inverting them. Your "logic" is a prime example of why I say BDSM is contrary to anarchist ethics, which are about equality. If somebody has to be the boss and somebody the bottom that doesn't qualify; that more closely resembles fascism, whose links with BDSM go back before both terms were invented.

I want a world without Masters and Slaves. Not one that eroticizes torture and degradation, however "safe" and "consensual" any given "scene" might be.
 
2012-10-01 10:14:00 PM  

jaylectricity: No, that's not what I said at all. I'm sure he knows tons of stuff.


Actually, it's quite clearly what you said if you're defending RP's posts. If you were chiding him about his attitude, you should have done that in the first place.

jaylectricity: Haven't even read the books or know enough about them to know what they say about the BDSM community.


Then why did you call him out for being offended by a book which portrays the BDSM community as power-hungry abusers? Holy crap, dude.

Rent Party: I'm "normals?" Care to tell me how you think you know what I do I'm my spare time?


No. I really don't care what you do in your spare time. To be quite honest, I really don't care about you, period. You could DIAF tommorow, and I'd go about my life saying "Hmm. That was sad. Someone I didn't know from Seattle D'edIAF. I wonder what I have in the freezer for breakfast. OOOH, WAFFLES!"

I know. I'm an asshole. You totally don't have to point it out to me.

What I do care about is how pathetically you troll. I mean come on, obviously hypocritical tu quoquo concern trolling? Lingo baiting? My God, this is FARK. Not 4chan. Show some damned class. Throw some biblical quotes in there. Some Law and Order SVU psychiatry.

Rent Party: Let me guess... because I find your scene pathetic, I must there fore be claiming to be normals!


My Scene? Because I can understand why a group of people would be offended at a completely uneducated generalization which they try to correct you upon, and you seize upon it as a method of trolling them by portraying them to be maladjusted social rejects who were abused as a kid, it's my scene?

I'll let you in on a little secret: I don't want to be a part of that world. It creeps me right the hell out, and I LIKE aspects of it. But, they're consenting adults who are doing nothing wrong, and there is psychiatric and psychological research, and Supreme Court rulings, to back that

No one has tried to claim they are special. No one has tried to claim, even, they're better than you, before you decided to go greater internet farkwad on them. What they did try to do was educate you on some of the things in their subculture. You, on the other hand, decided to troll down the Ad Hominem highway.

Dude. Grow right the hell up. What they're doing doesn't affect you in the least, and they damn sure aren't going to change their practices or beliefs based the narrow-minded, misguided opinion of some FARK poster from Seattle.

Rent Party: That's an awesome example of the presumptuous arrogance I just love pointing out. Because if you're in a scene, you're special, right?

Right?


Do me a favor. Please quote where he claimed that. At all?

Just one quote? Please?

Where did he say he was "special", in your mind?
 
2012-10-01 10:18:39 PM  

BronyMedic: Then why did you call him out for being offended by a book


I didn't call him out for being offended by a book. Where did I say that?

BronyMedic: What I do care about is how pathetically you troll.


So before, he was one of your favorite trolls, but now you're calling out his trolling style? Maybe we should all STFU and turn our attention on other people.
 
2012-10-01 10:22:57 PM  

jaylectricity: I didn't call him out for being offended by a book. Where did I say that?


You do realize that this dialogue between Rent Party and cylph got started because cylph got offended at this little gem of a troll RP posted, right?

Rent Party: I used to get a ration of shiat whenever I would observe that there isn't a woman on the planet that doesn't like a smack in the ass, and to be told she's pretty.

This 50 Shades thing has validated my observations, and I simply refer anyone objecting to that truth to the NYT best seller's list for more information.

And also, in before the hipsters telling us that whatever those people were up to wasn't *real* kink...


That little Strawman situation that RP set up ensures that anyone who would dare be offended at the fact their sexual practices are being portrayed as enjoyed exclusively by people who, as Dominants or Tops, were sexually and physically abused in their childhood, and that those submissives or bottoms are trying to recreate that, is portrayed as a "hipster douchebag" in his own words. 

That's what you're white knighting.
 
2012-10-01 10:23:40 PM  

BronyMedic: The One True TheDavid:

That doesn't mean they can't be sluts, only that they can't be submissive masochists.

And the hilarious thing is that women who tend to be submissive or masochistic in the bedroom most often tend to be those in positions of power and control in real life.


If you say so. My experience was very different: for every woman "in positions of power and control in real life" there were 100 damaged little girls who'd do anything to keep Daddy's attention, and who are sure it's all really their fault for being such BAD girls.


Submissive men are the same way. It's a "release" for them.

Uh-huh. Granted most of the submissive men I met in my long career were the kind of gay men who idolize Judy Garland, but again your experience must differ from mine. Maybe you run with an eliter elite group of perverts?


It's not about being a weak willed individual - it's a game.

Strong, smart, self-respecting people don't have to play games to get each other off.

By the way, may I subscribe to your Ignore list too please?
 
2012-10-01 10:26:44 PM  

BronyMedic: Rent Party: That's an awesome example of the presumptuous arrogance I just love pointing out. Because if you're in a scene, you're special, right?

Do me a favor. Please quote where he claimed that. At all?


More Dunning-Kruger effect in action. "Relevant experience" and "presumptuous arrogance" are indistinguishable when you're ignorant and unaware. How DARE someone tell him that his ignorant, uninformed supposition is wrong!

His opinion is just as valid as anyone else's, just like a failed child actor's views on evolution are just as relevant as those of a Nobel laureate.
 
2012-10-01 10:26:57 PM  

BronyMedic: That's what you're white knighting.


I know...that's what made me laugh the most. I guess it started when I realized that people don't know that Rent Party is messing around. We call it trolling, but honestly, people who post like him are sitting at their computer, farking around, probably board, so they come here and try to rile somebody up.

To me, it's a funny joke. After following the back and forth, I was sort of Patty Hearsted into white knighting because of the part where Rent Party was specifically going after clyph for being a hipster. It was making me laugh, so I had to jump in.

Sometimes the humor is in the truth.
 
2012-10-01 10:29:18 PM  

BronyMedic: That's what you're white knighting.


My fault for feeding the troll a 7 course meal. Mea culpa, everyone. He's on ignore now.

/play hard, play safe
 
2012-10-01 10:29:20 PM  
I don't mean any real offense to you, clyph. It's extremely hard to capture a person's personality based on comments they make on one specific subject on one specific website. I have to stop typing now because I want to end on a sincere note.
 
2012-10-01 10:30:22 PM  

The One True TheDavid: If you say so. My experience was very different: for every woman "in positions of power and control in real life" there were 100 damaged little girls who'd do anything to keep Daddy's attention, and who are sure it's all really their fault for being such BAD girls.


Amazing how research shows just how full of bullcrap your claims are.

The One True TheDavid: Uh-huh. Granted most of the submissive men I met in my long career were the kind of gay men who idolize Judy Garland, but again your experience must differ from mine. Maybe you run with an eliter elite group of perverts?


Imagine that. Something else that you have no idea what you're talking about.

The One True TheDavid: Strong, smart, self-respecting people don't have to play games to get each other off.


You're right. No one should ever want to have anything else than a hummer, or good, old-fashioned Missionary Position sex, but only after they are married.

You might want to contact the mail order school you got your degree in Psychology or Human Sexuality from, and get your money back. You failed day one.

The One True TheDavid: By the way, may I subscribe to your Ignore list too please?


No. You're just too easy to prove how full of shiat you are.
 
2012-10-01 10:33:36 PM  

jaylectricity: I don't mean any real offense to you, clyph. It's extremely hard to capture a person's personality based on comments they make on one specific subject on one specific website. I have to stop typing now because I want to end on a sincere note.


Thanks for that. Have a good night.
 
2012-10-01 10:34:42 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Aello:

Just because I'm a submissive doesn't mean I don't have self-respect. It doesn't mean I'm weak and it doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent. The Doms I know love the qualities you mention in their submissives.

To me that's like saying "Just because I keep kosher, go to synagogue and wear a yarmulke doesn't mean I'm Jewish."

Smart, strong people with self-respect cannot be submissive masochists. It's a contradiction in terms.

However somebody can tell you you're so smart, strong and self-respecting so you'll keep coming back for twisted pseudosex.

Don't get it? Then I am the son-in-law of an overthrown African dictator who'll be glad to pay you millions to help me get my loot out of the country.

People say a lot of shiat. Like this one hooker tried to tell me how gorgeous and wonderful I am. I told her if that were true she should pay me. ("*crickets*")


what a pain loving submissive who also strong, independent and self-respecting may look like:
blog.incipeindustries.com
 
2012-10-01 10:35:15 PM  

BronyMedic: The One True TheDavid: The Muthaship:

If you get your sexual kicks from inflicting pain on and exerting total control over others, you are one step below a serial killer in my book.

Bingo. Very much this.

Well, David. I'm glad have you. Without your opinion, we would have to listen to men and women who have made Psychiatry and Psychology their life's work.


I don't like them either. They reinforce the System by making deviation from it and/or suffering because of it a Mental Problem they then take money to "treat."

And I didn't apologize for pedophiles, I said you've got to remember they're people too. Like Judy Garland and Barack Obama are people. This does not mean legalize diddling 8 year olds, however; later in that thread I said pedophiles who have trouble controlling themselves should be segregated in their own "monasteries" far away from any kids. But you missed that part for some reason.

When you make sense you agree with me; when you want to sit at the cool kids' table you insult me. Interesting. How old are you, if I may ask?
 
2012-10-01 10:39:51 PM  
Magorn:

If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.

Oh brother. The military wants to create selfless robots who get themselves blown all the hell to "serve their country." You missed that part, didn't you.
 
2012-10-01 10:42:07 PM  

The One True TheDavid: I don't like them either. They reinforce the System by making deviation from it and/or suffering because of it a Mental Problem they then take money to "treat."


...Let me get this straight. Because they get paid to do research in their given field, they have created a conspiracy to manipulate Evidence and Science-based Medicine to ensure they get profits, while de-listing common sexual variations which were once poorly understood and at one time - like homosexuality, listed in the DSM, which would enable them to charge MORE for MORE patients?

Your leap at mental gymastics is a form of the logical fallacy known as "poisoning the well" which earned the name of "Pharma Shill Gambit" based on it's common use among alt-medders on UseNet.

The One True TheDavid: And I didn't apologize for pedophiles, I said you've got to remember they're people too. Like Judy Garland and Barack Obama are people. This does not mean legalize diddling 8 year olds, however; later in that thread I said pedophiles who have trouble controlling themselves should be segregated in their own "monasteries" far away from any kids. But you missed that part for some reason.


Actually, you earned this FARK tag around the time of the Penn State verdict. Not recently. But, in the same venue, Barack Obama and Judy Garland aren't predatory offenders who rape the innocence and childhood of their victims.

The One True TheDavid: When you make sense you agree with me; when you want to sit at the cool kids' table you insult me. Interesting.


I can agree with you on one thing, and disagree with you on everything else. That makes me an adult capable of independent thought. The law of averages tells us that even a dense rock will have a gem in it every once and a while.
 
2012-10-01 10:44:59 PM  
Take my wife's flees!

hmm that might not be the right quote
 
2012-10-01 10:50:04 PM  
BronyMedic wrote to me:

You've never worked in a nursing home.

I couldn't afford to finish the training class back in 1983. But I've been in enough hospitals to know nursing assistants do a very valuable job. And my mother's been bedridden in a nursing home for about 10 years: a good CNA is worth his/her weight in gold, AFAIC.

Your point is... what? Something to do with kinky "sex" somehow?


You know the poor CNAs have to clean the old folks up after, right?

They do it for pay, as a job. They don't pay to do it, nor do they get all happy and horny playing with the poopoo (at least not in my experience).

You now there's a difference, don't you? Or are you really aroused by sucking chest wounds?

If the latter is the case you should pay them.
 
2012-10-01 10:51:36 PM  

clyph: The One True TheDavid:

Please subscribe me to your block list.

You are now tagged as "willfully ignorant bigot". Happy?


From you I take that as a compliment.
 
2012-10-01 10:52:30 PM  

The One True TheDavid: The military wants to create selfless robots who get themselves blown all the hell to "serve their country."


Your ignorance is showing again. You never served a day in your life, did you?

Fact of the matter is that the military (at least the US military) wants to create leaders, specifically leaders who can think on their feet, adapt, and improvise. Starting from day 1 of basic training you're learning to GIVE orders as well as TAKE them. Granted, it's slanted much more towards the taking than the giving for the first few years, but even an E-3 or E-4 can be the leader (or at least second in command) of a fireteam.
 
2012-10-01 10:55:22 PM  

The One True TheDavid: I couldn't afford to finish the training class back in 1983. But I've been in enough hospitals to know nursing assistants do a very valuable job. And my mother's been bedridden in a nursing home for about 10 years: a good CNA is worth his/her weight in gold, AFAIC.

Your point is... what? Something to do with kinky "sex" somehow?


What that was meant to come off as saying was not what you saw it as. Old people fark like Jackrabbits in Assisted Living and Nursing Homes. CNAs are actually required, by the Boards of Nursing, to assist married individuals into bed with each other to have sex.

One of the expanding frontiers in STD prevention, actually, ARE assisted living and nursing homes.

The One True TheDavid: They do it for pay, as a job. They don't pay to do it, nor do they get all happy and horny playing with the poopoo (at least not in my experience).

You now there's a difference, don't you?


I never insinuated they did. What I said was that as a CNA, they have to clean the residents up AFTER they get finished with their dirty doings. Or with their one man handball games.

The One True TheDavid: Or are you really aroused by sucking chest wounds?


Actually, I get aroused when I get back to the station, and the 32 year old, 170lb MILF I work with decides to crawl into bed with me and tell me she has wanted to fark me since I was 20.

But you know what's weird? Burn patients make me hungry for Hamburgers.

/Dear Penthouse Forum. I never thought it would happen to me, but...
 
2012-10-01 10:59:55 PM  
Look, BronyMedic, there's often a difference between what people say they think and what they really think. Or are those good Christians bent on curing us from swinging both ways because Jesus really loves us?

You show me someone who enjoys being whipped and I'll show you an idiot without self-respect. You show me someone who enjoys being whipped and tells everybody it proves how free and strong he is and I'll show you an idiot without self-respect and with a silly line of convoluted bullshiat, which is even worse.
 
2012-10-01 11:00:21 PM  

Rent Party: Baelz: Rent Party: Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap

Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.

Aaaand, my case in point.

Well.. It's fantasy so what's your point? I got a lot of ideas from reading the Beauty series, and hell even some crap from the Anita Blake series have inspired me. I don't have a problem with the SoG people getting an interest in BDSM at all. I've met subs who got into this from reading Harry Potty fan fiction... Who cares how/why they got an interest.

Our resident experts apparently do. Those SoG folks are just noobs, ya know. Whatever they're doing isn't *real* BDSM. Only what I'm doing is real. Look here! It says so right on my Scene Approved List of Real Stuff!


You have some good points but sound so bitter that they are hard to take seriously. You keep trying to act that clyph is going into people's ho ex to monitor what they do. You purposefully misunderstand the term scene in the BDSM context.

I agree with ou that the disdain that many in the BDSM community feel for the 50S people is unacceptable. But, that is not everyone. And not at all what he was saying in this thread.

The pissing match on this thread is getting ridiculous.
 
2012-10-01 11:01:53 PM  
I totally dig rough sex and bare handed spanking, but any more than that is not my bag, baby.
/late to the party
 
2012-10-01 11:03:35 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Or are those good Christians bent on curing us from swinging both ways because Jesus really loves us?


So you're telling me that Homosexuality is ok, but natural human sexual variation that harms no one, and is done between consenting adults is bad?

bbsimg.ngfiles.com

The One True TheDavid: You show me someone who enjoys being whipped and I'll show you an idiot without self-respect.


And you're entitled to your opinion. Just like Kirk Cameron is entitled to the opinion that God created the Banana to fit perfectly in the human hand and mouth.

www.damnedifgodexists.com

The One True TheDavid: You show me someone who enjoys being whipped and tells everybody it proves how free and strong he is


Who's said that, again?
 
2012-10-01 11:05:44 PM  

BronyMedic: Actually, I get aroused when I get back to the station, and the 32 year old, 170lb MILF I work with decides to crawl into bed with me and tell me she has wanted to fark me since I was 20.


CSB.

So is she still a MILF or is she now a MIDF? (I did)
 
2012-10-01 11:06:16 PM  

Tassach: Fact of the matter is that the military (at least the US military) wants to create leaders, specifically leaders who can think on their feet, adapt, and improvise.


Not that I'm agreeing or disagreeing with either you or him, but this doesn't really address what he said.
One could be a leader and still be "programmed" to sacrifice for God and country above all other concerns. It just means that you'd be very good at getting people under your command to do the same thing in the most effective way possible. Indeed, I think you'd find many current servicemen and vets alike who would see that as a laudable trait.
 
2012-10-01 11:07:09 PM  
expecting sex from your wife in america? good luck buddy. unless she wants more anklebiters because she's so conceited and arrogant she simply must have miniature reproductions of herself, those heated thighs freeze right over about 12-18 months after you say "I Do".
 
2012-10-01 11:09:00 PM  

BronyMedic: the 32 year old, 170lb MILF I work with


170 seems a little heavy for MILF territory. Is she 6'3"?
 
2012-10-01 11:12:33 PM  

Gawdzila: 170 seems a little heavy for MILF territory. Is she 6'3"?


Maybe brony is a chubby chaser.

NTTAWWT. Girls who like to eat tend to be very orally fixated.
 
2012-10-01 11:12:58 PM  
Rent Party, I got tired just reading your antics in this thread (and I stopped before BronyMedic even got here) - how you found the energy for this and why you deemed it a good use of your time, I'll never know.

clyph, as a Kink aficionado and beginner private participant: thanks for doing what you do. W/o a safe place to play, there's no safe place to play.

/is that meaningful, or just redundant?
 
2012-10-01 11:14:10 PM  

Gawdzila: 170 seems a little heavy for MILF territory. Is she 6'3"


Five foot nine, actually. I like curvy women, don't get me wrong.

clyph: So is she still a MILF or is she now a MIDF? (I did)


Uh. No. Aside from that being all kinds of wrong to fark my coworker, that's kinda illegal to do in Tennessee on shift.
 
2012-10-01 11:22:34 PM  

BronyMedic: Uh. No. Aside from that being all kinds of wrong to fark my coworker, that's kinda illegal to do in Tennessee on shift.


A prudent decision.

Workplace sex = good.
Drama resulting from workplace sex = ungood
Getting fired for workplace sex = plus ungood
Getting arrested for workplace sex = double plus ungood
 
2012-10-01 11:38:16 PM  

BronyMedic: The One True TheDavid:

Oh right, because I should live my life according to a handbook for labeling "mental problems" so HMOs will pay the bills.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Dunning-Kruger effect.


That's what most of the dozens of psychiatrists and psychologists I've seen in the past 30 years have told me the DSM is good for.

They tell me they don't diagnose according to the DSM, rather they listen and then, when filling out the forms, try to find the DSM dx that approximates what they heard and saw of the person.

They tell me they do this because the HMOs require DSM diagnoses, the more specific and/or with the more axes the better, because "the guy's a moody and temperamental asshole who hates life and thinks the Trilateral Commission is pissing in his oatmeal" doesn't sound "scientific" enough.

Why there's a difference between "296.80 Bipolar disorder NOS" and "296.50 Bipolar disorder Unspecified" is for some desk jockey to answer.

Do you know more about what they do for a living than they do? Or maybe you do and you're telling these "helping professionals" are bullshiatting me -- maybe so I'll keep coming to them with the HMO's money?

I'm perfectly aware my attempts to speak Spanish sound like babytalk. D-K yourself.


So, please, David. Tell us why BDSM is so wrong? I'm curious.

As I said before, several times over the past few months: because BDSM contravenes anarchist ethics, which is based on eradicating "master/slave" hierarchies -- not fetishizing them. Reinforcing fascism* by linking it with the libido is backward. See the point?

Personally I find whipping the living shiat out of some idiot who begs for more quite enjoyable. Till I think about it for a second.

This is what I mean by running our lives with those parts of the brain that distinguish us from lizards, not doing whatever we're sick enough to find sexy and "justifying" it later.


* That uses the term loosely, yes. But then I'm sure you don;'t need to be told I'm referring to "the exploitation of man by man," not "palingenetic ultranationalism."
 
2012-10-01 11:39:56 PM  
Uh-huh, forced her to work at strip clubs?

So was he up on the stage with her, ready to hit her if she tried to say "Help, call the police, I'm being forced to do this by Ed Bagley of [address]!"

No, of course not? Yeah, what I thought..
 
2012-10-01 11:55:04 PM  
clyph:

"Relevant experience" and "presumptuous arrogance" are indistinguishable when you're ignorant and unaware. How DARE someone tell him that his ignorant, uninformed supposition is wrong!

Right, because somebody can't simply disagree with you and your Special Doctrine, he also has to be "ignorant and unaware."

As in someone saying "the Jews reject Christ because they're ignorant and unaware." Of course it can't be because Judaism regards worshipping a man as a god is blasphemous and ridiculous. No, it's because they lack knowledge of the Christians' "great truth," or worse because they willfully refuse to swallow it whole.

Did you get that? Or do I have to come back here tomorrow when I'm sober and strain even harder to explain what I think is a(nother) simple point?

Another, more drunken try: the radical Salafists have told you over and over that your women should wear burkas. How many planes must they fly into your buildings before you cease your presumptuous arrogance and stop refusing to admit The Truth?

Sheesh.
 
2012-10-01 11:56:03 PM  
Kazan:

i smell three sockpuppets. Rent Party=jaylectricity=The One True TheDavid

Your mama.

Surely those people could invent a better sock puppet than me.
 
2012-10-01 11:57:04 PM  

clyph: BronyMedic: Are you saying that Aello is a sock puppet for Clyph?

I don't know if she's in to fisting, but I'd make her my puppet if she is :)

 


Wait, what? How did I get brought back into this? I was sitting at home about to go to bed when I saw this!!!!
 
2012-10-02 12:02:01 AM  
BronyMedic:

The One True TheDavid: Or are those good Christians bent on curing us from swinging both ways because Jesus really loves us?

So you're telling me that Homosexuality is ok, but natural human sexual variation that harms no one, and is done between consenting adults is bad?


No, I'm saying that BDSM is not a "natural human sexual variation that harms no one," regardless of whether anyone consents or not.

People like you are why we can't have a nice anarchy. The danger isn't swastika-wavers, it's people who really believe the devious lies The Power tells them to perpetuate itself.
 
2012-10-02 12:15:39 AM  

The One True TheDavid: No, I'm saying that BDSM is not a "natural human sexual variation that harms no one," regardless of whether anyone consents or not.

People like you are why we can't have a nice anarchy. The danger isn't swastika-wavers, it's people who really believe the devious lies The Power tells them to perpetuate itself.


Riiiiiiight.

We've already discussed why your opinion is just that, and you've admitted in two separate posts that it's ideologically polluted by your belief in anarchism. Not only that, but your theories on the psychology of BDSM are demonstrably wrong by research I linked to you.

As it was said before, you're entitled to your opinion. Even if it's completely wrong.

You just lost any further ability to be taken seriously in this thread.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-02 12:29:48 AM  
clyph I'll be looking forward to reading about you in a future thread after you're arrested for your unsafe, reckless, and probably non-consensual behavior. And then we all get to explain AGAIN why assholes like you aren't representative of (or welcome in) the organized BDSM community.

Are you really going through life beleiving there is only ONE BDSM community?
 
2012-10-02 12:35:53 AM  
Still going?
 
2012-10-02 01:00:53 AM  

thebigfarker: clyph I'll be looking forward to reading about you in a future thread after you're arrested for your unsafe, reckless, and probably non-consensual behavior. And then we all get to explain AGAIN why assholes like you aren't representative of (or welcome in) the organized BDSM community.

Are you really going through life beleiving there is only ONE BDSM community?


No

Again:

imgs.xkcd.com

That said, most of the serious educational/advocacy organizations are all loosely affiliated and generally play by the same set of rules. (BR, TES, Janus, etc)

The gay leathermen bar scene has some crossover with the mainline groups but they mostly do their own thing and have their own culture and customs.

The Goreans also do their own thing, mostly online.

Prodomme culture is a distinct branch, although many pro-dommes are also active in the advocacy/education community.

A lot of goth-y night clubs make an attempt at having a play space (or have some dungeon equipment for show) but there's little to no effort made for education and advocacy. IME the emphesis in these clubs is more on being seen in your fetish gear than actually playing.

Private playspaces all have their own unique vibe.

Lots of people are members of several of the sub-communities so there's a good bit of cross-pollenation and some general agreement on the difference between consensual BDSM and abuse.
So yes I think there is one community (or meta-community) with lots and lots of sub-groups.

At least that was the state of things a few years ago when I "retired" from the public scene. Mostly I just play with friends now and occasionally co-host private parties.
 
2012-10-02 01:58:59 AM  

clyph: The Goreans also do their own thing, mostly online.


The Goreans are also the ones that will scare most "vanilla" people. They're the closest you'll normally get to forced Total Power Exchange, and non-consensuality without going over the line into it.

The sad thing is, they're still less geeky than Star Trek fans.
 
2012-10-02 06:58:15 AM  

BronyMedic: The sad thing is, they're still less geeky than Star Trek fans.


Hey! It's not like we go around re-enacting the Spock mind-raping Valeris scene from ST6 or something! Well...not every day, anyway!

/For some reason, I read that as "Koreans", and wondered WTF I missed about Kim Jong Il and his offspring now...
 
2012-10-02 09:31:51 AM  

Magorn: If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.


I've always really liked you, Magorn; though I have to let you know that my physically abusive ex boyfriend thought the above was exactly what he was doing FOR me... trying to make me a better person by using my face as a punching bag and breaking three of my ribs. If I cried, it was because I was weak and too sensitive, it was his duty to strengthen me up. The above, is what he had actually said to not only me but anyone who confronted him.

/if you knew me, you'd know I don't need to be strengthened.
//and no, I'm not a better person after that experience
 
2012-10-02 12:55:58 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Magorn:

If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.

I've always really liked you, Magorn; though I have to let you know that my physically abusive ex boyfriend thought the above was exactly what he was doing FOR me... trying to make me a better person by using my face as a punching bag and breaking three of my ribs. If I cried, it was because I was weak and too sensitive, it was his duty to strengthen me up. The above, is what he had actually said to not only me but anyone who confronted him.

/if you knew me, you'd know I don't need to be strengthened.
//and no, I'm not a better person after that experience


This. This exactly what I see as wrong with the idea Magorn propounds.
 
2012-10-02 01:22:10 PM  
What 50 Shades of Grey isn't about car interior color choice?
 
2012-10-02 01:51:12 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Magorn: If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.

I've always really liked you, Magorn; though I have to let you know that my physically abusive ex boyfriend thought the above was exactly what he was doing FOR me... trying to make me a better person by using my face as a punching bag and breaking three of my ribs. If I cried, it was because I was weak and too sensitive, it was his duty to strengthen me up. The above, is what he had actually said to not only me but anyone who confronted him.

/if you knew me, you'd know I don't need to be strengthened.
//and no, I'm not a better person after that experience


The other problem with the drill sergeant analogy is that military training is intentionally trying to dehumanize and break down critical independence. It is abusive too.

The critical test isn't about whether you end up with a better physique or habits, but whether you are actually empowering or de-empowering someone. If a person is doing what you tell them, even if those things are "better" choices than what they might do themselves, it actually isn't an improvement.
 
2012-10-02 01:56:56 PM  
Awesome... This lasted me all the way through lunch....

Thanks Fark!
 
2012-10-02 04:39:21 PM  
What? Anarchists have ethics?
 
2012-10-02 05:22:03 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Magorn: If you've never expereinced it, it's hard to understand, but a healthy Dom Sub relationship is a lot like the realtionship of a drill sargeant to a recruit, From a distance it looks antagonistic and brutal, but the truth of it is that the sargeant is trying to better the recruit, make them stronger and more confident and tougher than they ever dreamed possible. Pushing limits, and pain tolerances and boundaries, when done right, shows a person that they can transcend thier self-imposed limits and be a person they've never imagined they were capable of being.

I've always really liked you, Magorn; though I have to let you know that my physically abusive ex boyfriend thought the above was exactly what he was doing FOR me... trying to make me a better person by using my face as a punching bag and breaking three of my ribs. If I cried, it was because I was weak and too sensitive, it was his duty to strengthen me up. The above, is what he had actually said to not only me but anyone who confronted him.

/if you knew me, you'd know I don't need to be strengthened.
//and no, I'm not a better person after that experience


Which is why I used the adjective "healthy". Your abusive ex is, like a lot of the abuse cases I've handled, a delusional coward. (I used to run the Dom Violence emergency protection order section PG County circuit court for 5 years). The key to playing the Dom-sub game is complete consent by both particpants, and an understanding in the back of your head that this IS a un-real thing, a fantasy space, a simulation of danger rather than the actual thing (much like bungie-jumping or skydiving the free fall is terrifying but in the back of your head you know that every precaution has been taken for your safety
 
2012-10-02 06:49:08 PM  
The issue that I have is this case has been going on for 3 years apparently. How much tax money has been spent so far? Talk about abuse, my taxes have sure been taking it dry!
 
2012-10-02 08:29:07 PM  

Kittypie070: What? Anarchists have ethics?


Some do...about the same amount as any other kind of person.
 
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