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(Daily Mail)   It seems you can't even groom your wife to be a sex slave these days   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 312
    More: Strange, Missouri State, kinky sex, physical injury, BDSM, seriousness  
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21986 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 12:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 04:40:04 PM
I see BDSM as a sexual preference myself. I've had to come to terms with sexual issues that fall into this realm. I don't think people can understand how loving it can be for a Dom to care for a sub sexually and emotionally. I don't think people want to admit how far a sub will go to elicit acts like flogging. I think BDSM can provide a safe, cathartic outlet for even twisted desires that could lead to criminal acting out. True sadism is actually rare, Doms know their subs are royally getting off.
 
2012-10-01 04:40:53 PM

clyph: Rent Party: So you're the guy that thinks "consenting adults" need a referee?

Do you go to a gym?
Does that gym have rules?
Does that gym have someone who enforces those rules?
Does that person kick you out if you don't follow those rules?
Do you get the point yet?

Whenever you have an event that's open to the public, you always get that one asshole (like you) who thinks the rules don't apply to him. Someone (like me) has to be there to keep him from hurting somebody or ruining the party for everyone else.


Is that guy always from Cincinnati?
 
2012-10-01 04:41:31 PM

Rent Party: You guys are pathetic. Really. Close minded asshole control freaks, the lot of you.


Yep, just like the lifeguard at the pool tells you "no running" and "no diving in the shallow end" is a close minded asshole control freak. He's just there to rain on your parade and be a buzzkill, not to save your stupid ass when you get in over your head.

Go away until you learn to act like a socially responsible adult instead of a spoiled, know-it-all child.
 
2012-10-01 04:41:52 PM

clyph: Rent Party: I'm the guy that will tell you to get the fark out of my sex, douchebag. *I and my partner,* being consenting adults, will decide what is and isn't appropriate. And we will do it all without the wisdom of your expertise.

Then do it at home, not at a public event or a party I'm running. Because I'll kick your ass out and perma-ban you if you can't play safe and follow the rules...



My goodness, what a control freak douchebag you are. *Ban* me? Heavens no!

Do you moderate internet chat boards as well?


I'll be looking forward to reading about you in a future thread after you're arrested for your unsafe, reckless, and probably non-consensual behavior. And then we all get to explain AGAIN why assholes like you aren't representative of (or welcome in) the organized BDSM community.


Wah wah wah... "Organized BDSM community." High maintenance, highly judgemental queens looking for acceptance and rigidly inflexible with their rules. The exact *opposite* of kinky, in other words. Boring, one might say.
 
2012-10-01 04:44:17 PM
Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.
 
2012-10-01 04:44:36 PM

clyph: Rent Party: You guys are pathetic. Really. Close minded asshole control freaks, the lot of you.

Yep, just like the lifeguard at the pool tells you "no running" and "no diving in the shallow end" is a close minded asshole control freak. He's just there to rain on your parade and be a buzzkill, not to save your stupid ass when you get in over your head.


Right. So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right? Because as of right now, you've equated yourself to a bounce, a life guard, told me how you was gonna permaban me, and in other words demonstrated *exactly* what I said you were, which was a lonely control freak that absolutely *wasn't* OK with someone else's kink.


Go away until you learn to act like a socially responsible adult instead of a spoiled, know-it-all child.


I know pretentious douchebags when I see 'em.
 
2012-10-01 04:46:43 PM

Rent Party: I know pretentious douchebags when I see 'em.


Yep, you just need to look in the mirror.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:08 PM
I'm all for kink but this (FTA):


Among the allegations in the indictment, Bagley is accused of sewing the woman's "urinary opening and vagina shut" to demonstrate what was "expected of her," nailing her labia and nipples to slabs of wood, and performing abortions on the girl."

Is far and beyond a fun night of whips and hand cuffs.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:24 PM

DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.


If you can demonstrate in any way a substantial difference between hipsters and public BDSM people, you would be the first.

They are both fixated on appearance. They both present themselves as non-judgmental while in actuality are highly judgmental. They both seek scenarios where they can proclaim some special knowledge (you'd probably never heard of that) and both insist on a rigid social structure driven by a "scene." And they are both really, really boring.
 
2012-10-01 04:48:45 PM
I STILL consider myself a beginner. In the group belong to there are many people who do things way beyond what _I_ am willing to do but that's their dynamic and I don't judge them. I have been lucky enough to find a bunch long timers who have been willing to teach me the ropes.
 
2012-10-01 04:49:08 PM

JWideman: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Baelz: We have this same problem where I live as well. Even something as simple and basic as a spanking is considered assault. When ever someone new comes into the BDSM community we always make sure they're educated about the Laws, and safety.

www.ncfsfreedome.org

I've done things that make 50 Shades of Grey look like a childrens bedtime story in comparison. Would be arrested just like this guy, but as a Dom I always practice safety first and do not ever permanently harm or break my toys. Sure mistakes can happen when doing edge play, but sending a bottom to the hospital is HUGE fail on this guy. Sounds like he was dangerous, and deserves to be removed, but it sucks that all of BDSM has to be shined with the same light.

It's more confusing than that. He had consensual SM sex with his wife, which put her in the hospital. He later was accused of nasty nonconsensual stuff with another woman. They're trying to use the SM stuff with his wife as evidence against him in the trial.

I don't think there's enough in the article to determine if its use is appropriate.

It was the other woman he put in the hospital. And the case against him seems largely to be based on that woman being mentally challenged. It's hard to tell from this article alone, but there's a lot more information here:
Link
Basically, there's a LOT more to the story than "he had kinky sex with her and things went wrong."


WOW... ok this guy "Master Ed" is a sick bastard, and predator. That just screams massive red flags for abuse, and outright criminal activity. This is not any where near acceptable in any community, and we educate subs/bottoms to look out for creeps like this.
 
2012-10-01 04:50:01 PM

Aello: I STILL consider myself a beginner. In the group belong to there are many people who do things way beyond what _I_ am willing to do but that's their dynamic and I don't judge them. I have been lucky enough to find a bunch long timers who have been willing to teach me the ropes.


To conform to their expectations, I think you mean.
 
2012-10-01 04:52:28 PM

Rent Party: So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right?


You missed the "as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual" part there skippy.

Safety is not optional. If you are not aware of the risks and willing to take appropriate precautions, it's not acceptable.

Sanity is not optional. If anyone is not capable of assessing the risks either through age, intoxication, or mental incapacity, it's not acceptable.

Consent is not optional. If anyone is not a completely willing participant who is legally able of giving informed consent, it is not acceptable.

If you can't live with those simple rules, you are a danger to yourself and others.

I don't care what your kink is, or what fantasy you care to enact, as long as you do it safely with a consenting partner.
 
2012-10-01 04:52:56 PM

Magnanimous_J: Aello: Just because we don't follow the same path doesn't mean we're any less "real" than you.

Something tells me that people who "walk your path" had more uncles who loved tickle fights than the average kid, if you know what I mean.



Assume again. I actually had a great childhood. No one molested me, had a roof, food and a wonderful family.
 
2012-10-01 04:53:11 PM

Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.


Clever.
 
2012-10-01 04:56:02 PM
Actually Rent Party, just the opposite. They taught me to never let anyone push beyond my hard limits, what red flags to look for, always ask for references before playing with someone new, take my time and see what _I_ want to try and what I don't.
 
2012-10-01 04:56:59 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.

Clever.


That wasn't even intentional.
 
2012-10-01 04:57:51 PM

Rent Party: DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
hipster

I do not think you know what this word means.

If you can demonstrate in any way a substantial difference between hipsters and public BDSM people, you would be the first.



I can relate to what you're saying. There a some a lot self claimed Doms who come from the "swinger" scene. Basically they're swingers who like to spice things up while getting their dicks wet. They are very VERY much into more of the "How do I look" than any serious SM. I see a lot of the subs go through these chumps very quickly. Most of them don't know wtf to do once the spank and tickle is over, and they always think it's just about sex. They always give me the "hipster cool guy" feeling. I'd say about 1 out of 10 actually mean it..
 
2012-10-01 04:58:19 PM

clyph: Rent Party: So we can dispense with the "I'm OK with your kink" thing, right?

You missed the "as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual" part there skippy.

I don't care what your kink is, or what fantasy you care to enact, as long as you do it safely with a consenting partner.


And you along to make that judgment.
 
2012-10-01 05:00:27 PM
Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?
 
2012-10-01 05:01:22 PM

Aello: Pray 4 Mojo: Aello: who have been willing to teach me the ropes.

Clever.

That wasn't even intentional.


That's even better. Ha!
 
2012-10-01 05:09:46 PM

Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.


If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.
 
2012-10-01 05:17:04 PM

bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.


Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.
 
2012-10-01 05:26:19 PM

DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.



Uh, no, that indicates that there are two groups.

I will chalk this up to "no, you can not differentiate the two in a meaningful way" and put it to bed.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?
 
2012-10-01 05:28:42 PM

clyph: Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.

If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.


After reading several of your posts, I'm finding that DMing is like being a lifeguard at a pool. Let people have their fun, but if they're being dangerous or dumb then you blow the whistle. Does DMing stand for dungeon mastering? And you might be able to tell me how far off I was in my previous post.
 
2012-10-01 05:28:48 PM

clyph: Rent Party: And you along to make that judgment.

If I'm running the party, and you're putting someone in danger or behaving recklessly, damn right I will. And if I have proof that you're an unsafe player, I'll warn every sub I know about you.

The more you protest about "hipsters" and following basic safety rules, the more credence you give to the idea that you were ejected one or more organizations for good cause. I know some people in the Seattle scene. I'll have to circulate your picture and find out what you did.


I'm protesting douchebags like you that sneer down their noses at "n00bs" and other people getting off on whatever it is that gets them off. Those people and their silly book! They aren't *real* scensters like you! They don't know the rules!

Pathetic.
 
2012-10-01 05:29:04 PM
FTFA: Ed Bagley, 45, of Lebanon, Missouri, is accused of grooming a young woman to be his sex slave starting in 2002, then keeping her captive for years while making money from her images on fetish Internet sites and forcing her to work as a dancer at strip clubs. [...] The case came to light in early 2009 after the woman, then 23, was hospitalized after what prosecutors said was a torture session.

So. 23 in 2009 would make her 16 in 2002. Maybe 17, I suppose, and maybe 15. Still seems a wee bit young to be a slave.

/Can't think of anything sadder than people who feel the need to have contorted sex in public
//Unless it's the guys whose Great Task in Life is supervising them.
 
2012-10-01 05:29:06 PM

Lollipop165: I'm all for kink but this (FTA):


Among the allegations in the indictment, Bagley is accused of sewing the woman's "urinary opening and vagina shut" to demonstrate what was "expected of her," nailing her labia and nipples to slabs of wood, and performing abortions on the girl."

Is far and beyond a fun night of whips and hand cuffs.


Actually... it's what a true kink is, isn't it?
There's vanilla kink, like doggystyle and furry cuffs and playswings.
And then there's true kink.
 
2012-10-01 05:32:32 PM

Deman: bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.

Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.


So basically, they're like the biatches into 'being raped', the rape fantasy biatches.
Or the dudes into transsexual prostitution who play games with how far they can
go with 'straight' dudes until the pick ups can no longer deny they're also men and beat the fk out of them.
 
2012-10-01 05:34:35 PM

Rent Party: DWitchiewoman: Rent Party:
They are both fixated on appearance... They both present themselves as non-judgmental...They both ... and both insist on... And they are both really, really boring.

"They are both" indicates that they are different, not the same.



Uh, no, that indicates that there are two groups.

I will chalk this up to "no, you can not differentiate the two in a meaningful way" and put it to bed.

Anyway, this is a BDSM thread. Why are you trying to take the fun out of it?
Just submit. Resistance is futile.

Geez. Some people just can't let other people read about other people's sex... don't you have a cool story or something, bro?


Rent Party, I know what you're getting at.
I have to ask, though: are you a homosexual?
Are there differences in the scene when it comes to straights
versus homos?
Like the differences between straights and homos
when it comes to swinging?
 
2012-10-01 05:35:07 PM
Rent Party:

If they were the same, there would be one group, not 2. You're basically just using the word "hipster" to describe something that annoys you as I guess hipsters do. Not the same thing though.

Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??
 
2012-10-01 05:39:44 PM

Deman: After reading several of your posts, I'm finding that DMing is like being a lifeguard at a pool. Let people have their fun, but if they're being dangerous or dumb then you blow the whistle.


That's pretty much it. Unsurprisingly, some people have a problem with being told to stop acting like a jackass.

Does DMing stand for dungeon mastering?

It does. Considering that a LOT of people in the scene are also gamers, the double meaning is not completely unintentional.

And you might be able to tell me how far off I was in my previous post.

About the lifeguard analogy? Pretty darn close.
 
2012-10-01 05:39:56 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Deman: bluefoxicy: Deman: I think that there has to be something more sinister going on than BDSM practices. I'm betting this has more to do with him keeping her in captivity, forcing her to work at strip clubs, and whatever the hell got him a human trafficking charge.


"Marilyn Bagley, 47, is charged with five counts, including sex trafficking and forced labor trafficking."

She's charged with not being intelligent and human trafficking herself.

Wow, must have missed that those were her charges. Now it's starting to sound like they had a fetish website and offered off the net services to a few of her members or something along those lines.

As for why someone would get into the SM lifestyle? I know I'm about to paint a broad stroke here but out of the handful of people I know who are into it, most have had some sort of traumatic sexual experience in their younger years and a few even remark that is exactly why they're into the lifestyle. It gives them a way to get that rush, but in a controlled situation. I'm also told it's also gives them another level of trust for their partner. Personally I don't need to say "Chocolate Cherries" to stop a flogging to understand how much I can trust a person, but hey, too each his own.

So basically, they're like the biatches into 'being raped', the rape fantasy biatches.
Or the dudes into transsexual prostitution who play games with how far they can
go with 'straight' dudes until the pick ups can no longer deny they're also men and beat the fk out of them.


Well, I'm also one person who only has 6 or so data points out of a much larger set so my conclusions can hardly be considered thorough. From them I can only conclude that is just one motivation of many, and one that not everyone will have.
 
2012-10-01 05:40:19 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-01 05:49:10 PM

DWitchiewoman: Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??


Somebody needs to get laid.
 
2012-10-01 05:50:02 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu:

Rent Party, I know what you're getting at.
I have to ask, though: are you a homosexual?


No. Purely hetrosexual, although I have no objections to participation by other guys if the lady and I agree to it. They aren't what I'm there, for, though.


Are there differences in the scene when it comes to straights
versus homos?


I'm sure there are. It is irrelevant to me, though. I don't do "scenes" at all, as they are the antithesis of what choice is supposed to be about, sexually speaking. Sex is about what the participants make it. It does not require the input of anyone else, no matter how important they think they are.

Basically, if you describe yourself as belonging to "a scene" you are doing whatever it is for the wrong reason. It is a sign of insecurity that you need to belong to something that badly. And I have lots of hobbies where "scenes" are present. I find them all boring, even for activities that I love.


Like the differences between straights and homos
when it comes to swinging?


I dunno, man. I don't know what those differences are. Whatever they are, I hope they make the swingers happy.
 
2012-10-01 05:54:56 PM

Baelz: I'd say about 1 out of 10 actually mean it..


Sturgeon's law: 90% of everything is crap. It's pretty much a constant regardless of what you're talking about.

People are people, regardless of what they're doing. The bell curve of human ability is inescapable: 10% will irredeemably suck, 80% percent will wallow in insipid, uninspired mediocrity, and 10% will distinguish themselves.
 
2012-10-01 05:58:44 PM
You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.
 
2012-10-01 06:05:44 PM
Pray 4 Mojo :

DWitchiewoman: Shouldn't there be more sex slave talk in here, anway??

Somebody needs to get laid.


No, actually I'm just trying to learn a few things...
 
2012-10-01 06:07:36 PM
I've been involved in BDSM for over 25 years, and there is actually lots of ways in which you can break down someone to the point where the concept of "consent" is really murky.

Even vanilla guys usually know how to take a girl with low self esteem and basically have their way with them.

With submissives and slave inclined people it is even easier, you can use all the "regular" methods used by cults, armies, employers to basically take control of them and progressively put them into a position (physically, mentally, financially) where they are dependent and unable to act or think independently. The psychology of this is really well established. In BDSM it is common to get them to sign "contracts", break off contact with friends and family, give up control of their finances, collar them, brand them, physically cage them. This stuff is now quite common -- I guarantee every neighborhood in US has people living in such subjugation.

So the legal question gets complicated when you can say "but the person wants to lose their freedom" or "the person wants to be tortured and have their bodies branded and modified".

Again, I practice all this stuff myself, but I see lots of examples in the BDSM community where I understand why society would want to re-examine the idea of consensuality. I guarantee that you can make a living out of enslaving people, and at that point it is true that there is little distinction versus the legal definition of "trafficking".

Also, in BDSM you will encounter many people that are mentally ill by any definition. There are people who I regularly encounter who would be willing to pay to have body parts amputated, or even killed through erotic means (like the German Cannibal case).

The tricky thing here is that we have to argue whether there is a "freedom" in choosing to relinquish freedom. No easy answer.
 
2012-10-01 06:08:54 PM

jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


Any group has it's culture, and to fit into that group you have to accept that culture.

The culture of the BDSM scene, in my experience, is one of the most tolerant and accepting groups of people you'll find. There may be some good-natured ribbing, and well as a lot of debate on some contentious issues, but we all pretty much acknowledge that we're in the same boat even if we disagree on the details. IMHO, the real hot-button issues are safety and consent; considering that these are the factors that distinguish BDSM from abuse, there's little tolerance for dissent on those issues.
 
2012-10-01 06:13:56 PM

jabelar: it is even easier, you can use all the "regular" methods used by cults, armies, employers to basically take control of them and progressively put them into a position (physically, mentally, financially) where they are dependent and unable to act or think independently. The psychology of this is really well established.


Classic abusive/controlling personality: Link

And jaylectricity, I've been thinking the same thing throughout this today...
 
2012-10-01 06:14:43 PM

jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.
 
2012-10-01 06:15:11 PM

clyph:

The culture of the BDSM scene, in my experience, is one of the most tolerant and accepting groups of people you'll find.



> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

Lawlz.
 
2012-10-01 06:19:23 PM

Baelz: jaylectricity: You know, Rent Party usually comes into threads and is just generally douchey, making douchey arguments. But he's absolutely right about this one. clyph, it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.

There is a huge difference between private and public. What clyph has been mostly talking about is public scenes/play parties or dungeons. By all means go do whatever floats your boat, and most people won't give a crap what you do behind closed doors.


What he has been talking about is judgmental attitudes about whatever gets other people off.

> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

If he's into public displays of his own bad Dom self, then groovy. No one (but me) is going to knock him for it. Where he gets completely derailed is with smarmy assed comments like this.

> When I saw all the interest in 50 Shades of Grey I was like "LOL newbs".

> There is a short list of specific techniques/activities that are considered verboten...

> I chuckle the 50 shades of grey'ers just like I chuckle at the Goreans, because it's cute in a naive and clueless kind of way.

That kind of stuff demonstrates *exactly* what he thinks its about. It isn't about kink, or sex, or getting off on whatever gets you off. It's about looking down on whatever gets someone off.

I would much rather hang out with a room full of fat housefraus that just figured out it was OK to like kinky shiat because they read SoG that I would with a pretentious douche that thinks they're all noobs because they aren't going to do it they way he thinks it aught to be done.
 
2012-10-01 06:30:09 PM

jaylectricity: it appears that in order for somebody to be kinky, they have to subscribe to the "rules" of the "community". You like to think of yourself as a lifeguard, but you are more like a homeowners association.


Also, I won't deny there's a healthy dose of this:
imgs.xkcd.com

and some of this:
www.austinchronicle.com

But you're going to get that in any group. You get 3 or more human beings together in a group and there are going to be factions, politics, and cliques. It's inescapable.

In the BDSM scene those kinds of disagreements are mostly good-natured and tongue-in-cheek. Mostly the reaction to noobs who have silly ideas is to nurture and educate them, not exclude them.

Of course you always get one or two assholes who have to make a stink. But again, that's human nature.
 
2012-10-01 06:32:46 PM
I am a submissive woman but I am NOT a doormat. I know the difference between a man who is dominant, and one who is simply domineering. If I want to play in public at the club, I know there are rules and there are people who enforce those rules like clyph. I follow them or I am kicked out. Same thing at private house parties. If I want to do something not within those rules, then I play one on one with my play partner. You're trying to make it sound like a bad thing that people actually have to live by these rules but there are instances where people get SEVERELY injured and have to go to the ER. 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.
 
2012-10-01 06:35:49 PM

Aello: I am a submissive woman but I am NOT a doormat. I know the difference between a man who is dominant, and one who is simply domineering. If I want to play in public at the club, I know there are rules and there are people who enforce those rules like clyph. I follow them or I am kicked out. Same thing at private house parties. If I want to do something not within those rules, then I play one on one with my play partner. You're trying to make it sound like a bad thing that people actually have to live by these rules but there are instances where people get SEVERELY injured and have to go to the ER. 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.


I'm sure it's not, but are you going to try to deny that there are subs that are groomed and domineered into a position where they feel they have to do these things? And that that's utterly unacceptable?
 
2012-10-01 06:38:40 PM

Aello: 50 Shades is a poorly written piece of crap


Of that there is no doubt.


and is not accurate in portraying BDSM at all.


Aaaand, my case in point.
 
2012-10-01 06:41:13 PM
I don't deny it, and yes it is unacceptable if it's not their dynamic. If someone is bullied, put down and abused to get them into that position, it is unacceptable.
 
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