That's what happens when you bring a moron to a knife fight.

He rolled a 1. Critical fumble. He's lucky the DM was in a good mood or it could have been much, much worse.

I_Am_Weasel: Yet another slice of life from Spokane.

I'd like to argue with you, sadly I'm forced to agree instead.

I for one welcome out Telekinetic overlords.

So he won?

That's what you get for using the Loremaster combat system. Sometimes you decapitate your enemy, sometimes you trip over an imaginary deceased turtle and stab yourself.

There can only be none.

HailRobonia: That's what you get for using the Loremaster combat system. Sometimes you decapitate your enemy, sometimes you trip over an imaginary deceased turtle and stab yourself.

Man I used a loremaster critical hit/failure table book all over my dnd games. One of the fun spell failure ones was "wild magic makes local gravity fluctuate, you fall up" and the wizard impaled himself on a stalactite, then his bloody corpse fell down and knocked the fighter who failed an easy reflex save unconscious.

Good times.

Knives are hard, film at 11.

That's no' a knife

barneyfife.jpeg

/not impressed.

Someone cutting themselves in a knife fight doesn't mean they are clumsy or stupid, it means they don't know how to knife fight.

Bring a knife and the longer it is the more likely you are to cut yourself badly. Get up to sword length and you can almost guarantee the novice will cut themselves in the leg badly enough to bleed out.

But this is fark, so just ignore this and let the stupid flow.

According to officers, he man raised the knife and the other man pushed his arm in defense, causing the man with the knife to cut himself in the chest.

He-Man? Who was he fighting, Skeletor? And where is Man-At-Arms when you really need him?

Aeon Rising: Bring a knife and the longer it is the more likely you are to cut yourself badly. Get up to sword length and you can almost guarantee the novice will cut themselves in the leg badly enough to bleed out.

Its somewhat counter intuitive.
Bigger knives do more damage per hit, but are more difficult to control. You have to put some thought into your attacks.
Smaller knives can be more destructive in the hands of a novice, especially if the victim is caught unaware.

/Probably the most vicious blade you'll find is a 2 inch punch dagger.
/Easily concealed, difficult to counter, good for mauling someone at close range.
/A Kukri is Bowie is great for taking off someones arm, but they'll see that coming a mile away.
/A samurai sword will get you tazerd by the cops and a headline on Fark.

jmadisonbiii: [img.metro.co.uk image 636x300]

That's no' a knife


Wow, for a second I was convinced that was Damon Wayans.

Pull a knife and she may take it way from you and use it(on you).
If she pulls a small knife,you can be sure it's slice and dice time.

Nyett Hank, we are not up to weapons training yet

I swear I read the headline as during flight.

way south: Aeon Rising: Bring a knife and the longer it is the more likely you are to cut yourself badly. Get up to sword length and you can almost guarantee the novice will cut themselves in the leg badly enough to bleed out.

Its somewhat counter intuitive.
Bigger knives do more damage per hit, but are more difficult to control. You have to put some thought into your attacks.
Smaller knives can be more destructive in the hands of a novice, especially if the victim is caught unaware.

/Probably the most vicious blade you'll find is a 2 inch punch dagger.
/Easily concealed, difficult to counter, good for mauling someone at close range.
/A Kukri is Bowie is great for taking off someones arm, but they'll see that coming a mile away.
/A samurai sword will get you tazerd by the cops and a headline on Fark.

^ ^ ^ THIS

RIP Herbert Lom

AgentKGB: I swear I read the headline as during flight.

way south: Aeon Rising: Bring a knife and the longer it is the more likely you are to cut yourself badly. Get up to sword length and you can almost guarantee the novice will cut themselves in the leg badly enough to bleed out.

Its somewhat counter intuitive.
Bigger knives do more damage per hit, but are more difficult to control. You have to put some thought into your attacks.
Smaller knives can be more destructive in the hands of a novice, especially if the victim is caught unaware.

/Probably the most vicious blade you'll find is a 2 inch punch dagger.
/Easily concealed, difficult to counter, good for mauling someone at close range.
/A Kukri is Bowie is great for taking off someones arm, but they'll see that coming a mile away.
/A samurai sword will get you tazerd by the cops and a headline on Fark.

^ ^ ^ THIS

I read that as "flight" too.
Probably since it was right after the American Airlines headline.
Thought "how?! They don't even allow nail clippers!"

As for the article, I can think of two weird scenarios:
a) perp/victim was holding knife close to chest as a threatening gesture, other guy is actually trained, grabs the guy's arm and tilts/shoves knife into guy
b) perp/victim actually slashes self in an attempt to frame other guy.

I can imagine cutting yourself in so many other locations. Chest, not so much.

Khazar-Khum: According to officers, he man raised the knife and the other man pushed his arm in defense, causing the man with the knife to cut himself in the chest.

He-Man? Who was he fighting, Skeletor? And where is Man-At-Arms when you really need him?

If you read KREM on a daily basis, you'd know that they don't read anything before hitting the "submit" button. They just kinda whack whack whack the keys on the keyboard and there ya go.

Was it at the bus plaza?