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(Time)   How much money you should have saved by ages 15, 25, 35, and 50. In this economy, though?   (moneyland.time.com) divider line 28
    More: PSA, Oregon Trail  
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26350 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 3:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-10-01 07:12:15 AM
2 votes:
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

/oblig
2012-10-01 03:41:14 AM
2 votes:

fusillade762: Well, I'm boned.


Yup, me too. That's why I'm investing heavily in alcohol. 'Cause fark it, that's why.
2012-10-01 12:23:48 AM
2 votes:
I don't "save" money. I get paid, bike to Amscot to pay off whatever I owe in a payday loan, and come back the next day to get a payday loan to get to the next one.

I consider this a relatively wealthy period in my life.
2012-10-01 08:39:36 PM
1 votes:

doglover: Well, it helps people making over $100,000 after taxes. I mean, if I had 100k after taxes, I'd be able to put half of it in the bank, burn half the remainder on entertainment, and STILL be able to float my current lifestyle with more than a quarter left over to buy diamonds and shiat


ya know how I can tell you are American educated ?
2012-10-01 07:43:46 PM
1 votes:

JackalRabbit: gravebayne2: ive saved nothing. figure i'll be dead or in jail by retirement.

please, can you help me? i need investment advice.


Yes, I'm glad you asked. First, you need to choose your long term goal. Remember, this can be different for different people! Not everyone wants to go to jail, and conversely, a lot of the people who go to jail don't want to end up in an early grave! You need to choose what you value, and then make lifestyle choices accordingly.

For example, don't want to end up in jail? Consider alcohol dependency, rather than becoming addicted to substances that are illegal or harder to acquire. Better yet, become an overeater, or stop exercising altogether. Choose to avoid health insurance and costly routine checkups and go to the doctor only for acute emergencies that you want to resolve; put the money you save towards the habits that feed your long, slow, legal decline.

These methods of developing solitary, low level mental illness will frequently be accompanied by physical health problems that can kill you; they also are all legal, and help you reach your long term goal of dying before your old age, rather than ending up in jail. For more on this, as well as a list of tips for your chosen long term options, subscribe to my retirement investment newsletter, "Jail or Dead: It's Up To You"

/Retirement planners hate this man; learn how you can plan your old age needs in 10 days
2012-10-01 10:25:36 AM
1 votes:
The people biatching about their salary that have a totalfark tag next to their name are funny.
2012-10-01 09:30:54 AM
1 votes:
Well, if you have less money than you'd like at retirement you could always move to a country with lower costs of living instead of trying to continue your same lifestyle in America...
2012-10-01 09:04:53 AM
1 votes:

enderthexenocide: if i don't have enough money to retire when i'm 70, i'll just rob a few banks or something. if i get away with it then i'll be set for retirement. if they catch me they'll send me to jail, but i'll be 70 years old so what do i care?


Why even bother playing the odds you'll get caught? Just buy a crotch rocket with a credit card and take up stunt biking at 70, no helmet. You probably won't survive your first jump, but at least you go out on your own terms.
2012-10-01 08:50:22 AM
1 votes:

dragonchild: Dude, when I was a teenager I was still mowing lawns and washing cars. I don't think saving ANY of the several hundred bucks I'd earn in any given year would've made much of a long-term difference. And what sort of investment returns are they assuming here? Do they account for the fact that the banks halve your net worth every decade?


It's the power of COMPOUND INTEREST!!! See, starting at age 8, You take $500 a year and put it into a savings account that gives a return of say a modest 8% (some market accounts give 10-15%! !!). After 40 years you will have $150,000!! It's so easy, it's a wonder everyone doesn't do it.
2012-10-01 08:13:54 AM
1 votes:

itsdan: "Saving 100% of your lifestyle sounds impossible, but it is not. If you earn $100,000 after taxes, you must limit your lifestyle to $50,000 and save the remainder. This strategy will allow you to retire at age 65 with a lifestyle of $50,000."

And if you make $50,000 or less to begin with, as most people do?


Hire yourself out as a servant to the wealthy during retirement for a glass of water and crust of bread.
2012-10-01 07:59:12 AM
1 votes:
Silly poor people!
MONEY IS FOR RICH PEOPLE!!!
2012-10-01 07:38:43 AM
1 votes:
My retirement plan. Three quarters of the way there, if I may boast.

√ Birth
√ School
√ Work
Death

/if boasting is not allowed, please disregard
2012-10-01 07:29:33 AM
1 votes:
My 401k is with Vanguard. Those guys are always making these wild assumptions and using savings models that encourage you to invest more with them (they call it saving). Vanguard shaves quite a lucrative cut off all your investments (around 2.5% per fund), so the more you invest, the more they make. If you lose, they win. If you win, they win bigger. So when it comes time to gamble, they gamble big.

With your money.

/Don't worry muppet, they have your best interests at heart.
2012-10-01 06:52:53 AM
1 votes:

noneyourbase: OK, wise Farkers -

I'm a grad student. I'd like to open a mutual fund, because the $0.25 interest rate just isn't cutting it, frankly. What should I read? How do I start?


buy a bunch of guns.

guns are awesome investments. they never lose value. i have a rifle and militaria collection (helmets bayonets swords uniforms a few medals..) and the value of this stuff has WAY out performed the 401k. And if you get a divorce your ex wont want it. :)
2012-10-01 04:44:09 AM
1 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: But when you have a good one, you need to take advantage of it.


When you have a good one.

Not every heroin addict is Jason Mewes.
2012-10-01 04:20:22 AM
1 votes:

J Noble Daggett: Write a book about how writing a book can make you millions and sell it to people who believe they can learn to become millionaires by reading a book by somebody who claims to have become a millionaire by writing a simple book about how to become a millionaire.

Works every time.

\bonus. It doesn't matter what you write because the type of people who buy such books don't actually read them.


are you ridiculing my coffee table?
2012-10-01 04:14:51 AM
1 votes:
Write a book about how writing a book can make you millions and sell it to people who believe they can learn to become millionaires by reading a book by somebody who claims to have become a millionaire by writing a simple book about how to become a millionaire.

Works every time.

\bonus. It doesn't matter what you write because the type of people who buy such books don't actually read them.
2012-10-01 04:13:58 AM
1 votes:
And then suddenly it was a troll thread.
2012-10-01 04:13:01 AM
1 votes:

JackalRabbit: gravebayne2: ive saved nothing. figure i'll be dead or in jail by retirement.

please, can you help me? i need investment advice.


Bang as many women as you can. don't bother with condoms. the more babies they pop out, the more proof you got laid.

Oh money? don't bother. when you're homeless and millions behind on child support, just tell those rich snooty folk "yeah. i hit that. and her sister. and her mom." Their money can't buy that kind of fun.
2012-10-01 04:05:15 AM
1 votes:

JackalRabbit: doglover: Ambivalence: This demonstrates everything that is wrong with rhetorical economists (especially Randians). less than 10% of the population makes "$100,000 after taxes". And far far more than half do not make enough that they can afford to sock away half for retirement.

It grossly oversimplifies a process that has no basis in reality. It's all pie in the sky bullshiat that doesn't help anyone.

Well, it helps people making over $100,000 after taxes. I mean, if I had 100k after taxes, I'd be able to put half of it in the bank, burn half the remainder on entertainment, and STILL be able to float my current lifestyle with more than a quarter left over to buy diamonds and shiat.

and create jobs. don't forget to create jobs.


d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net
2012-10-01 04:03:40 AM
1 votes:

itsdan: "Saving 100% of your lifestyle sounds impossible, but it is not. If you earn $100,000 after taxes, you must limit your lifestyle to $50,000 and save the remainder. This strategy will allow you to retire at age 65 with a lifestyle of $50,000."

And if you make $50,000 or less to begin with, as most people do?


You should have thought of that before you...hm, can't really say.
2012-10-01 03:50:32 AM
1 votes:
shower_in_my_socks: The "1 in 3" Americans relying on the lottery as their best bet at retirement stat never ceases to amaze me, even though your odds of winning a big lottery jackpot are statistically ZERO.

No, the odds are 50/50. You either win or you don't.
2012-10-01 03:37:39 AM
1 votes:

Krieghund: This is from the Forbes article linked to in TFA:

Here are the guideposts:

At age 35, you should have saved an amount equal to your annual salary.
At age 45, you should have saved three times your annual salary.
At 55, you should have five times your salary.
When you retire at age 67, you should have eight times your annual pay.

That's actually a lot more informative, and happily, I'm on track.


So if your annual salary is the poverty line.........
2012-10-01 03:22:31 AM
1 votes:

noneyourbase: noneyourbase: OK, wise Farkers -

I'm a grad student. I'd like to open a mutual fund, because the $0.25per year interest rate just isn't cutting it, frankly. What should I read? How do I start?

FTFM


I think you should start with a book that describes the difference between $ and %.

Secondly, don't save. That's for suckers. Spend yoru money as soon as you get it. Then, later in life, all the chumps will keep you afloat. Freeload, baby! It's the american way. That's what social safety nets are all about, transferring wealth from the responsible to the profligate.
2012-10-01 03:04:46 AM
1 votes:
If I already live off of McDonalds, I don't think I have to save to live off of McDonalds when I retire.
2012-10-01 02:06:26 AM
1 votes:
TFA: Saving 100% of your lifestyle sounds impossible, but it is not. If you earn $100,000

and we're done here.
2012-10-01 01:26:40 AM
1 votes:
Tell this to the companies that kept sending my jobs out of the country.
2012-10-01 12:20:48 AM
1 votes:
Well, I'm boned.
 
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