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(Daily Star)   Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Interesting, acceptance of responsibility, lesbian lover  
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26523 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 4:07 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-30 10:49:16 PM  
7 votes:
That's one of the dumbest lies I've ever heard.
2012-10-01 04:18:35 AM  
5 votes:
Sounds like her girlfriend is done with her lesbian phase and ready to go back to being normal. Most of the time they get it out of their system within a year or so.
2012-10-01 01:20:38 AM  
5 votes:

Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.


I learned that one day in Ikea. I was sitting down, taking a break, while my wife was looking around at the bedroom sets. This attractive young woman came strolling through and I made the mistake of looking at her for just a second or two too long. I realized that just off to one side, this stereotypical plaid-shirt-and-workboot-wearing bull dyke was glaring at me like she was going to stomp my ass for daring to look at her partner. For just a moment I seriously contemplated smiling at the glaring woman and saying to her, "Lighten up, Francis," but I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.
2012-10-01 06:12:33 AM  
4 votes:
FTA: Last night, during one of our horrible, ongoing rows, she had the nerve to blame me for it.

What I got out of this statement: we have regular arguments. Also, they're quite vicious.

FTA: That's how stupid our fights have got...

Not only regular arguments, but stupid ones too.

FTA: I love the girl and usually have a brilliant sex life and I've never fancied anyone more.

You argue regularly, it gets quite nasty when you do, yet you still fancy this girl?

FTA: But I have to admit I find her hard work a lot of the time.

Work smarter, not harder.

FTA: The problem is she tells lies and won't accept responsibility for her actions.

I'm going to hazard a guess the incident rate of her lying is about as regular as your arguments, yet, once again, you fancy this girl?

FTA: It's pretty obvious to me that she's still sleeping with her ex yet she won't admit it.

People who tell "obvious" lies to you don't respect your intelligence, your resolve or your own self-respect- possibly all three. Still the girl of your dreams?

FTA: It's the bare-faced lying I find so insulting and offensive.

Evidently not insulting or offensive enough to do what's called for.

FTA: I have always tried to be honest but she plays games with my mind and treats me like an idiot.

It bears repeating: this is the girl of your dreams?

FTA: There is no getting away from the fact a tiny, vulnerable baby is going to be born in six months and I still don't know where I stand.

How about: try choosing where you stand instead of letting her choose it for you, hm? It's not like you could be determined to be the father of the child by any forensic means (though I admit it certainly sounds like she's trying to concoct some scenario by which you are), so what's holding you back from simply stepping away? You are.

FTA: How do I get her to stop treating me like a second-class citizen?

Simple: stop acting like one.

You have constant arguments, they apparently get quite heated, and involve your partner showing complete disrespect for you as a person. You know all of this, yet still claim this is "the one". You use this as an excuse to linger. In short: you're enabling her.


You know, I'm no less shocked at this winking woman's desire to remain with this person (a desire that stands contrary to everything resembling sense or reason) than I am at her partner's "obvious lie". These two were made for one another, clearly.
2012-10-01 05:05:56 AM  
4 votes:
He has full custody ...

And there's the biggest sign you should need to indicate that this women isn't reliable.
2012-10-01 05:01:11 AM  
3 votes:
"Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?"
Dear Human Floormat- time you stopped punishing yourself for being a lesbian by sleeping with this sack of shiat. Grow a pair- oh, bad wording- anyhow, dump dat biatch to da curb already.
2012-10-01 04:31:01 AM  
3 votes:
I think this calls for an experiment..
2012-09-30 11:45:53 PM  
3 votes:

bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.


This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.
2012-09-30 11:19:56 PM  
3 votes:
No drama like lesbian drama.
2012-09-30 10:54:28 PM  
3 votes:
I love the girl and usually have a brilliant sex life and I've never fancied anyone more.

But I have to admit I find her hard work a lot of the time.

The problem is she tells lies and won't accept responsibility for her actions.


So the letter writer is the man of the relationship.
2012-10-01 08:11:28 AM  
2 votes:
Never rub your vag on crazy.
2012-10-01 04:55:31 AM  
2 votes:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Somacandra: [i33.photobucket.com image 249x599]

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)

I remember that.

how can you be a mother of two,
and yet be fooled by a false dick?
that's BULLSHIAT.
there is no denial deep enough.

there is lying to save face, though.



There's also the soap opera mentality... Person claiming to be male "survived cancer"...cue dramatic music...and now the mother of two is wrapped up in the drama as well, so it gets played out as far as it can go.

Some people are really into personal drama, I believe it's often because they received most of their isolated life lessons from TV drama, with little common sense to buffer it. An attentive new boyfriend who acts strangely can be passed off as a noble cancer survivor to family and friends and she'll continue to hold on to that script as long as she can.
2012-10-01 04:54:15 AM  
2 votes:
I dated a lesbian who was simultaneously selfish enough, shady enough, pathetic enough, pathological enough, and dumb enough to attempt this ruse. It didn't last long. I love my gay gals, but they are not above terrible bullshiat.
2012-10-01 12:09:03 AM  
2 votes:

Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.


This is true but only for couples under 50. After that they are as boring as any other middle aged couple.
2012-09-30 10:53:26 PM  
2 votes:
No
2012-10-01 01:14:02 PM  
1 votes:
This falls into the category that 1/3 of all Fark articles do:
The only thing interesting or amusing about it are the Fark thread comments.
2012-10-01 10:26:29 AM  
1 votes:
It's the bare-faced lying I find so insulting and offensive. I have always tried to be honest but she plays games with my mind and treats me like an idiot. There is no getting away from the fact a tiny, vulnerable baby is going to be born in six months and I still don't know where I stand.

Welcome to manhood, butch. You hooked up with crazy, now deal with it or leave.
2012-10-01 10:18:37 AM  
1 votes:
I love the girl and usually have a brilliant sex life and I've never fancied anyone more.

But I have to admit I find her hard work a lot of the time.

The problem is she tells lies and won't accept responsibility for her actions.



You know...all that opposition to gay marriage COULD just be straight folks telling the gays "hey, yeah, you really don't want this...trust us".
2012-10-01 09:18:46 AM  
1 votes:
Maybe a cumsprite got her?
Link (NSFW Cartoon)
2012-10-01 09:08:58 AM  
1 votes:
s13.postimage.org
2012-10-01 08:57:06 AM  
1 votes:

Mr. Cat Poop: But that okay because "one man one woman, kids need 2 parents".


Isn't it funny when people hang on to things doggedly for no sensible reason? Sorta like this woman to her lying whore of a partner...
2012-10-01 08:54:13 AM  
1 votes:
The reality is she is (probably) pregnant by her ex-partner. In that case, the baby will be joining its other siblings in having the same mum and dad. What will happen next? I'll tell you - she'll go back to her ex and that will be the best result for that family.

Really? This lying whore going back to her husband is the best result for that family? Why is that? So the kids can hear the fighting all night when lying whore goes out whoring and lying and gets caught but still lies about her whoring? But that okay because "one man one woman, kids need 2 parents".
2012-10-01 07:05:13 AM  
1 votes:
tronnic.com

Sure, she might have gotten pregnant from sitting on the toilet. I mean there'd have to be a guy between her and the toilet...
2012-10-01 06:51:20 AM  
1 votes:
2012-10-01 06:46:31 AM  
1 votes:
lsd.dula.tv
2012-10-01 06:34:41 AM  
1 votes:
So, fake advice columns is a thing now?
2012-10-01 06:31:26 AM  
1 votes:
One can barely expect an ounce of logic and calm thought out of 1 woman in a relationship, and we're flabbergasted when 2 women can't put together one rational unemotional thought? O_o
2012-10-01 06:02:15 AM  
1 votes:
Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?

Only if you cheated with a guy....

did you?
2012-10-01 05:50:18 AM  
1 votes:

sleeper2995: fusillade762: He has full custody but she always goes back to his place for a Chinese with the family

So that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Well since she still likes to sleep over he is still turning her Japanese


You really think so?
2012-10-01 05:33:01 AM  
1 votes:
The girlfriend sounds Republican.
2012-10-01 05:12:34 AM  
1 votes:
how lesbian get pragnent
2012-10-01 05:09:37 AM  
1 votes:
This one is a real puzzler. I'm going to have to consult Todd Akin, member of the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology to get a legitimate answer.
2012-10-01 04:47:14 AM  
1 votes:
Lesbian drama can get ugly and insane, especially if there is an ex around of either sex. There is only one, serious solution: she had better back away, and run, run like hell and never talk to the baby momma again.
2012-10-01 04:45:35 AM  
1 votes:
Anyone else slightly turned on by all this?
2012-10-01 04:40:53 AM  
1 votes:
Via some vag version of snowballing, I'm sure it's possible. And extremely hot and I would want to see that on video.
2012-10-01 04:33:47 AM  
1 votes:
Someone spouting something that stupid has you pegged as a patsy or is calling you out. Send that crazy biatch back to her family, she's having another of his kids for crissakes!
2012-10-01 04:17:39 AM  
1 votes:
it is known that sperm can live outside the ocean tidal pools for up to 4 hours breathing air and that they are notorious escape artists from domesticated tanks, so anything is possible.

/i am a marine biologist
2012-10-01 04:12:43 AM  
1 votes:

MadAzza: For f*ck's sake, she never asked if that were possible! F*cking Subby, you lying sack of shiat. Fark you.


[welcometofark.jpg]
2012-10-01 03:30:02 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-10-01 02:38:12 AM  
1 votes:

Fark Me To Tears: Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.

I learned that one day in Ikea. I was sitting down, taking a break, while my wife was looking around at the bedroom sets. This attractive young woman came strolling through and I made the mistake of looking at her for just a second or two too long. I realized that just off to one side, this stereotypical plaid-shirt-and-workboot-wearing bull dyke was glaring at me like she was going to stomp my ass for daring to look at her partner. For just a moment I seriously contemplated smiling at the glaring woman and saying to her, "Lighten up, Francis," but I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.


Lulz. You know what's really amusing? If she had stomped you, you would have been the one going to jail.
Then the hot one and your wife would be alone sharing their grief over a bottle of wine.....
2012-10-01 01:34:40 AM  
1 votes:
Question was rhetorical. Girlfriend's a liar. Dump her.

Next.
2012-10-01 01:10:45 AM  
1 votes:
Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?

It depends... Did she drug you and then have you star in a snowball-and-reverse-felching porn video with her and the babydaddy?
2012-10-01 01:03:46 AM  
1 votes:
Is that even possible?

nope.
2012-10-01 12:24:05 AM  
1 votes:
i33.photobucket.com

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)
2012-09-30 11:18:21 PM  
1 votes:
A modified wooden toilet roll holder?
Wow. Just wow.
 
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