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(Daily Star)   Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 185
    More: Interesting, acceptance of responsibility, lesbian lover  
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26518 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 4:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-01 08:15:49 AM
I'm waiting for the followup story when thing get all stabby.
 
2012-10-01 08:32:48 AM
I'd say, yes, it's possible, given a deplorable lack of hygiene on the part of all concerned.
 
2012-10-01 08:35:53 AM
sad Fark... I was hoping for some scissor action...

hey, it could happen right?

img444.imageshack.us
 
2012-10-01 08:36:02 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-01 08:38:21 AM
Seems legit

i.imgur.com

/obligatory
 
2012-10-01 08:41:17 AM

NowhereMon: Is Ed Anger writing for the Star now...


Only if she's pig-biting mad.
 
2012-10-01 08:41:37 AM

wambu: Seems legit

[i.imgur.com image 496x345]

/obligatory


Wow, really? Damn. Would like to see a follow-up. Did she win the lawsuit?
 
2012-10-01 08:42:23 AM
Women leave men because men are abusive only to find that women are abusive too.

And from my dealings with lesbians, women are a LOT more abusive. If you see lesbians angrily yelling at each other, run, because it WILL devolve into violence. Every time. And if you intervene, they will both scratch you.
 
2012-10-01 08:44:34 AM

DingleberryMoose: wambu: Seems legit

[i.imgur.com image 496x345]

/obligatory

Wow, really? Damn. Would like to see a follow-up. Did she win the lawsuit?


Well hopefully she got Laci Petersoned for cheating on her husband while he was off serving his country before her lawsuit ever got filed.
 
2012-10-01 08:49:17 AM

wambu: Seems legit

[i.imgur.com image 496x345]

/obligatory


come on, thats not serious. thats from the onion or the scallion or whatever that fake site is
 
2012-10-01 08:52:19 AM
There was no man. It was a frog.

"Life finds a way."
-- Dr. Ian Malcolm
 
2012-10-01 08:54:13 AM
The reality is she is (probably) pregnant by her ex-partner. In that case, the baby will be joining its other siblings in having the same mum and dad. What will happen next? I'll tell you - she'll go back to her ex and that will be the best result for that family.

Really? This lying whore going back to her husband is the best result for that family? Why is that? So the kids can hear the fighting all night when lying whore goes out whoring and lying and gets caught but still lies about her whoring? But that okay because "one man one woman, kids need 2 parents".
 
2012-10-01 08:55:44 AM
Lesbians?! BS posturing.

www.accesswave.ca
 
2012-10-01 08:57:06 AM

Mr. Cat Poop: But that okay because "one man one woman, kids need 2 parents".


Isn't it funny when people hang on to things doggedly for no sensible reason? Sorta like this woman to her lying whore of a partner...
 
2012-10-01 08:57:16 AM

ShannonKW: RedVentrue: I read your profile and thought, "You sound like me." Are you my alt?

Ever read Fight Club? I'm the guy who does all the shiat you can't explain when you think you're sleeping. Ever notice how people are always asking if you know about ShannonKW?


Why yes. Yes I did.

Now I know who's to blame for what happened that night. :(
 
2012-10-01 09:00:42 AM

wambu: Seems legit

[i.imgur.com image 496x345]

/obligatory


"Luckily my husband believes me."

Damn, that was close.
 
2012-10-01 09:02:54 AM

taurusowner: Well hopefully she got Laci Petersoned for cheating on her husband while he was off serving his country before her lawsuit ever got filed.


Yeah. You see lots of instances of things like this and the servicemen involved seem to get the short end of the stick most times. Having an uncle who retired from the Army after 20+ years of service and his daughters married to servicemen lets me hear far too many stories. They all kind of boil down to, "Hi, honey! Welcome back from your 2 year deployment. See your new baby? Just now a month old, and looks just like you!" It sucks.
 
2012-10-01 09:05:34 AM

RedVentrue: Now I know who's to blame for what happened that night. :(


Your assumption of a single source is exactly what we want you to continue believing.
 
2012-10-01 09:06:50 AM
Yes, this is entirely possible. I would be more than happy to demonstrate how this can occur.
 
2012-10-01 09:08:58 AM
s13.postimage.org
 
2012-10-01 09:09:59 AM
Lying coont. Dump her.
 
2012-10-01 09:13:01 AM
There is no getting away from the fact a tiny, vulnerable baby is going to be born in six months and I still don't know where I stand.

Somewhere outside of this tiny, vulnerable baby's biological family, obviously.
 
2012-10-01 09:16:59 AM

Mr. Cat Poop: The reality is she is (probably) pregnant by her ex-partner. In that case, the baby will be joining its other siblings in having the same mum and dad. What will happen next? I'll tell you - she'll go back to her ex and that will be the best result for that family.

Really? This lying whore going back to her husband is the best result for that family? Why is that? So the kids can hear the fighting all night when lying whore goes out whoring and lying and gets caught but still lies about her whoring? But that okay because "one man one woman, kids need 2 parents".


I don't think that's what the author was infering, but good on you for going there.

I mean, really, if you're still having sex with your ex and having a child by them, I think maybe it would be best if you just went back to that relationship, because you're evidently failing at being an... ex-wife and a lesbian as well.

In any case, the letter writer should back away slowly (or run quickly).
 
2012-10-01 09:18:46 AM
Maybe a cumsprite got her?
Link (NSFW Cartoon)
 
2012-10-01 09:20:07 AM

freewill: There is no getting away from the fact a tiny, vulnerable baby is going to be born in six months and I still don't know where I stand.

Somewhere outside of this tiny, vulnerable baby's biological family, obviously.


Well you can't stand inside them. It's unsanitary.
 
2012-10-01 09:20:50 AM

dittybopper: Well you can't stand inside them. It's unsanitary.


Obviously, my understanding of lesbianism is somehow deficient.
 
2012-10-01 09:37:33 AM
You always need a good LAUGH to start off a Monday.
THANK YOU fark for giving myself and my coworkers in our Monday meeting a good laugh!
 
2012-10-01 09:38:45 AM

TwistedFark: I mean, really, if you're still having sex with your ex and having a child by them, I think maybe it would be best if you just went back to that relationship, because you're evidently failing at being an... ex-wife and a lesbian as well.


I agree ... basically
but wouldn't the "you got me pregnant" portion of the original article be a more obvious example at failing as a lesbian ? Does she understand female anatomy ?
 
2012-10-01 09:40:41 AM
Her tubes were NOT spastic. Not spastic at all.
 
2012-10-01 09:41:01 AM
I know women lie about affairs, and it's completely plausible that this crazy woman is sleeping with her ex and just unwilling to admit it...

But can we really put it past her ex to slip her some roofies in her wine and have sex with her without her knowing it? I mean... it's possible, right?
 
2012-10-01 09:42:09 AM

ShannonKW: Fark Me To Tears: [...] I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.

Don't feel bad, bro. I was once sexually harassed by a lesbian in a QFC supermarket and made to look quite ridiculous.

In case you want details, I woke up in the wee hours one night and couldn't get back to sleep, so I nipped over to the QFC with the vague idea of building up some fatigue and getting some munchies. The place was nearly deserted at that hour, and I was ambling about in a daze for while when I heard this harsh, contemptuous voice behind me, "Hey, man, make me some cookies!"

So I turn around and blearily see this couple, he in a leather jacket and jeans and she in this frilly sun-dress looking thing... only, after bit of squinting and head cocking it became clear that they were both women. The "femme" of the two was rolling her eyes adoringly at her butch, man-abusing girlfriend as if to say, "My hero!" I didn't care; I was just fuddled and confused. We were in the snack aisle, after all. "They're right there!" I said gesturing at the generous selection of cookies at her very elbow, and tottered off wondering what was wrong with people. It wasn't until I was halfway home that it dawned on me that she had been trying to demean me rather than literally seeking cookies.

She also had broken my chain of thought, so when I got home I had a ham but had forgotten to get bread. Damn dyke.


Shoulda offered to trade cookies for a taste of cookie. Course then you woulda had to fight both of em, but they were lesbians....really a win win no matter how it turns out.
 
2012-10-01 09:42:53 AM

The Bestest: A modified wooden toilet roll holder?
Wow. Just wow.


awwww man, that brings back memories!

Modified wooden toilet roll holder?

Wow. Just wow.
 
2012-10-01 09:47:21 AM
www.martacard.com
 
2012-10-01 09:50:40 AM

davidphogan: That's one of the dumbest lies I've ever heard.


She should've went with an invisible sky God impregnated me.
 
2012-10-01 09:56:43 AM

PsyLord: She should've went with an invisible sky God impregnated me


goddess (ya know, spice up the old yarn)
 
2012-10-01 10:08:33 AM
send the biatch back to the exhubby. then once she has had the baby BE HER SECRET LOVER

duh.
 
2012-10-01 10:09:24 AM

Slartibartfaster: RedVentrue: Now I know who's to blame for what happened that night. :(

Your assumption of a single source is exactly what we want you to continue believing.


Are you the one legged guy with the sneaky eyes who was always whispering "diaspora" to himself?

Still wondering about that guy.
 
2012-10-01 10:11:24 AM
The prophecy is now in effect.

/wierdest boner
 
2012-10-01 10:12:03 AM

kvinesknows: send the biatch back to the exhubby. then once she has had the baby BE HER SECRET LOVER

duh.


They're lesbians. He'll totally be down with this, as long as he can watch.
 
2012-10-01 10:18:37 AM
I love the girl and usually have a brilliant sex life and I've never fancied anyone more.

But I have to admit I find her hard work a lot of the time.

The problem is she tells lies and won't accept responsibility for her actions.



You know...all that opposition to gay marriage COULD just be straight folks telling the gays "hey, yeah, you really don't want this...trust us".
 
2012-10-01 10:26:29 AM
It's the bare-faced lying I find so insulting and offensive. I have always tried to be honest but she plays games with my mind and treats me like an idiot. There is no getting away from the fact a tiny, vulnerable baby is going to be born in six months and I still don't know where I stand.

Welcome to manhood, butch. You hooked up with crazy, now deal with it or leave.
 
2012-10-01 10:30:34 AM

LewDux: [userserve-ak.last.fm image 252x209]


Care to explain who or what that's a photo of? I don't get the reference.
 
2012-10-01 10:31:38 AM

RedVentrue: Still wondering about that guy

διασπορά
διασπορά
διασπορά

// nope not me
 
2012-10-01 10:33:01 AM
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-01 10:58:34 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Somacandra: [i33.photobucket.com image 249x599]

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)

I remember that.

how can you be a mother of two,
and yet be fooled by a false dick?
that's BULLSHIAT.
there is no denial deep enough.

there is lying to save face, though.


A false dick is one thing, but a modified piece of wood?
Damn, I've been so hard it hurt, but even then it still has a slightly fleshy feel to it.
 
2012-10-01 11:00:15 AM

freewill: kvinesknows: send the biatch back to the exhubby. then once she has had the baby BE HER SECRET LOVER

duh.

They're lesbians. He'll totally be down with this, as long as he can watch.


its funner when there is a secret though.
 
2012-10-01 11:00:31 AM

some_beer_drinker: is she a scientician? maybe she performed some sort of invasive procedure while the other lesbian was asleep.


nah, I don't think so. I'm straight.
 
2012-10-01 11:05:00 AM

Ambivalence: Reminds me of that time I got chlamydia from a tractor.


Nice Drop Dead Gorgeous reference.
 
2012-10-01 11:21:04 AM
Ten points for imagination, -100 for the silliest shiat I've heard in a long time

/modified wooden toilet roll holder
 
2012-10-01 11:40:13 AM

Somacandra: [i33.photobucket.com image 249x599]

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)


Damn, that was a year ago? That was a world-class thread.
 
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