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(Daily Star)   Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 185
    More: Interesting, acceptance of responsibility, lesbian lover  
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26520 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2012 at 4:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-30 10:49:16 PM
That's one of the dumbest lies I've ever heard.
 
2012-09-30 10:53:26 PM
No
 
2012-09-30 10:54:28 PM
I love the girl and usually have a brilliant sex life and I've never fancied anyone more.

But I have to admit I find her hard work a lot of the time.

The problem is she tells lies and won't accept responsibility for her actions.


So the letter writer is the man of the relationship.
 
2012-09-30 11:12:04 PM
Is Ed Anger writing for the Star now...
 
2012-09-30 11:18:21 PM
A modified wooden toilet roll holder?
Wow. Just wow.
 
2012-09-30 11:19:10 PM
Reminds me of that time I got chlamydia from a tractor.
 
2012-09-30 11:19:56 PM
No drama like lesbian drama.
 
2012-09-30 11:29:07 PM

The Bestest: A modified wooden toilet roll holder?
Wow. Just wow.


i33.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-30 11:45:53 PM

bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.


This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.
 
2012-10-01 12:09:03 AM

Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.


This is true but only for couples under 50. After that they are as boring as any other middle aged couple.
 
2012-10-01 12:16:07 AM
He has full custody but she always goes back to his place for a Chinese with the family

So that's what the kids are calling it these days.
 
2012-10-01 12:24:05 AM
i33.photobucket.com

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)
 
2012-10-01 01:03:46 AM
Is that even possible?

nope.
 
2012-10-01 01:10:45 AM
Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?

It depends... Did she drug you and then have you star in a snowball-and-reverse-felching porn video with her and the babydaddy?
 
2012-10-01 01:20:38 AM

Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.


I learned that one day in Ikea. I was sitting down, taking a break, while my wife was looking around at the bedroom sets. This attractive young woman came strolling through and I made the mistake of looking at her for just a second or two too long. I realized that just off to one side, this stereotypical plaid-shirt-and-workboot-wearing bull dyke was glaring at me like she was going to stomp my ass for daring to look at her partner. For just a moment I seriously contemplated smiling at the glaring woman and saying to her, "Lighten up, Francis," but I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.
 
2012-10-01 01:34:40 AM
Question was rhetorical. Girlfriend's a liar. Dump her.

Next.
 
2012-10-01 01:37:17 AM
For f*ck's sake, she never asked if that were possible! F*cking Subby, you lying sack of shiat. Fark you.
 
2012-10-01 02:38:12 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.

I learned that one day in Ikea. I was sitting down, taking a break, while my wife was looking around at the bedroom sets. This attractive young woman came strolling through and I made the mistake of looking at her for just a second or two too long. I realized that just off to one side, this stereotypical plaid-shirt-and-workboot-wearing bull dyke was glaring at me like she was going to stomp my ass for daring to look at her partner. For just a moment I seriously contemplated smiling at the glaring woman and saying to her, "Lighten up, Francis," but I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.


Lulz. You know what's really amusing? If she had stomped you, you would have been the one going to jail.
Then the hot one and your wife would be alone sharing their grief over a bottle of wine.....
 
2012-10-01 03:10:11 AM

MadAzza: Question was rhetorical. Girlfriend's a liar. Dump her.

Next.


And you are so stupid for even asking this question! please, sterilize yourself before anything accidentally happens!!

/we can assume that the email was just trolling. right?? RIGHT????!
 
2012-10-01 03:13:23 AM

namatad: MadAzza: Question was rhetorical. Girlfriend's a liar. Dump her.

Next.

And you are so stupid for even asking this question! please, sterilize yourself before anything accidentally happens!!

/we can assume that the email was just trolling. right?? RIGHT????!


I hope so.
 
2012-10-01 03:30:02 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-01 04:04:58 AM
is she a scientician? maybe she performed some sort of invasive procedure while the other lesbian was asleep.
 
2012-10-01 04:12:43 AM

MadAzza: For f*ck's sake, she never asked if that were possible! F*cking Subby, you lying sack of shiat. Fark you.


[welcometofark.jpg]
 
2012-10-01 04:13:24 AM
Dear Penthouse Forum, I know people claim these stories are totally made up...
 
2012-10-01 04:15:38 AM

MadAzza: For f*ck's sake, she never asked if that were possible! F*cking Subby, you lying sack of shiat. Fark you.


i2.crtcdn1.net

The headline is legitimate.
 
2012-10-01 04:17:39 AM
it is known that sperm can live outside the ocean tidal pools for up to 4 hours breathing air and that they are notorious escape artists from domesticated tanks, so anything is possible.

/i am a marine biologist
 
2012-10-01 04:18:35 AM
Sounds like her girlfriend is done with her lesbian phase and ready to go back to being normal. Most of the time they get it out of their system within a year or so.
 
2012-10-01 04:27:41 AM

Gyrfalcon: Dear Penthouse Forum, I know people claim these stories are totally made up...


At this point I'm certain she knows 99 percent of these are all BS. She's got to be doing it for the ratings.

Wait. That was a 'durrr' moment.
 
2012-10-01 04:30:32 AM
It's entirely possible, in principle, for sperm to survive inside one woman's vagina for a while, be transferred to her lover's during sex, and successfully impregnate her. Hell of unlikely though.
 
2012-10-01 04:31:01 AM
I think this calls for an experiment..
 
2012-10-01 04:33:34 AM

MadAzza: For f*ck's sake, she never asked if that were possible! F*cking Subby, you lying sack of shiat. Fark you.


But it's funnier if she had asked it therefore she did ask it.

I vote republican.
 
2012-10-01 04:33:47 AM
Someone spouting something that stupid has you pegged as a patsy or is calling you out. Send that crazy biatch back to her family, she's having another of his kids for crissakes!
 
2012-10-01 04:33:59 AM

Mr. Shabooboo: I think this calls for an experiment..


I would like to declare my heterosexualness and perfectly inelligiable for your said experiment.
 
2012-10-01 04:34:22 AM
I'll bet it was "a Chinese."
 
2012-10-01 04:36:53 AM
there is a precedent for this

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/mt/1.html
 
2012-10-01 04:40:02 AM
The point is that this lesbo was cheating and has pretty much admitted to it in her question.
 
2012-10-01 04:40:53 AM
Via some vag version of snowballing, I'm sure it's possible. And extremely hot and I would want to see that on video.
 
2012-10-01 04:44:16 AM
i22.photobucket.com

What is this I don't even...
 
2012-10-01 04:44:36 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Introitus: bojon: No drama like lesbian drama.

This. I know quite a few lesbians and any female drama that can occur between two people is synergistically magnified in them.

I learned that one day in Ikea. I was sitting down, taking a break, while my wife was looking around at the bedroom sets. This attractive young woman came strolling through and I made the mistake of looking at her for just a second or two too long. I realized that just off to one side, this stereotypical plaid-shirt-and-workboot-wearing bull dyke was glaring at me like she was going to stomp my ass for daring to look at her partner. For just a moment I seriously contemplated smiling at the glaring woman and saying to her, "Lighten up, Francis," but I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.


IKEA: the Euro version of X-mart.
 
2012-10-01 04:45:35 AM
Anyone else slightly turned on by all this?
 
2012-10-01 04:47:11 AM

Somacandra: [i33.photobucket.com image 249x599]

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)


I remember that.

how can you be a mother of two,
and yet be fooled by a false dick?
that's BULLSHIAT.
there is no denial deep enough.

there is lying to save face, though.
 
2012-10-01 04:47:14 AM
Lesbian drama can get ugly and insane, especially if there is an ex around of either sex. There is only one, serious solution: she had better back away, and run, run like hell and never talk to the baby momma again.
 
2012-10-01 04:47:58 AM
....Banana cream pie and scissors?
 
2012-10-01 04:48:07 AM
For all of you doubters, it's possible. Admittedly being a lesbian trapped in a mans body may be a slightly different situation.
 
2012-10-01 04:54:15 AM
I dated a lesbian who was simultaneously selfish enough, shady enough, pathetic enough, pathological enough, and dumb enough to attempt this ruse. It didn't last long. I love my gay gals, but they are not above terrible bullshiat.
 
2012-10-01 04:55:31 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Somacandra: [i33.photobucket.com image 249x599]

Can't be reposted enough.

(For those who weren't there, this is the reference)

I remember that.

how can you be a mother of two,
and yet be fooled by a false dick?
that's BULLSHIAT.
there is no denial deep enough.

there is lying to save face, though.



There's also the soap opera mentality... Person claiming to be male "survived cancer"...cue dramatic music...and now the mother of two is wrapped up in the drama as well, so it gets played out as far as it can go.

Some people are really into personal drama, I believe it's often because they received most of their isolated life lessons from TV drama, with little common sense to buffer it. An attentive new boyfriend who acts strangely can be passed off as a noble cancer survivor to family and friends and she'll continue to hold on to that script as long as she can.
 
2012-10-01 05:01:11 AM
"Dear Jane: My lesbian lover is pregnant, claims I must have cheated with a guy and, somehow, passed the sperm on to her. Is that even possible?"
Dear Human Floormat- time you stopped punishing yourself for being a lesbian by sleeping with this sack of shiat. Grow a pair- oh, bad wording- anyhow, dump dat biatch to da curb already.
 
2012-10-01 05:01:48 AM

Fark Me To Tears: [...] I decided that I didn't want the embarrassment of being beat up by a lesbian inside an Ikea store.


Don't feel bad, bro. I was once sexually harassed by a lesbian in a QFC supermarket and made to look quite ridiculous.

In case you want details, I woke up in the wee hours one night and couldn't get back to sleep, so I nipped over to the QFC with the vague idea of building up some fatigue and getting some munchies. The place was nearly deserted at that hour, and I was ambling about in a daze for while when I heard this harsh, contemptuous voice behind me, "Hey, man, make me some cookies!"

So I turn around and blearily see this couple, he in a leather jacket and jeans and she in this frilly sun-dress looking thing... only, after bit of squinting and head cocking it became clear that they were both women. The "femme" of the two was rolling her eyes adoringly at her butch, man-abusing girlfriend as if to say, "My hero!" I didn't care; I was just fuddled and confused. We were in the snack aisle, after all. "They're right there!" I said gesturing at the generous selection of cookies at her very elbow, and tottered off wondering what was wrong with people. It wasn't until I was halfway home that it dawned on me that she had been trying to demean me rather than literally seeking cookies.

She also had broken my chain of thought, so when I got home I had a ham but had forgotten to get bread. Damn dyke.
 
2012-10-01 05:04:48 AM

bekovich: Anyone else slightly turned on by all this?


Slightly? No. Massively? Hell yes.
 
2012-10-01 05:05:56 AM
He has full custody ...

And there's the biggest sign you should need to indicate that this women isn't reliable.
 
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