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(Real Simple)   Ten ways to make your marriage divorce-proof. Suggestion #6 alone makes it worth showing to subby's wife   (realsimple.com) divider line 280
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52053 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2012 at 4:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-30 01:44:24 PM  
Subby, if you do not pay attention to 1-5 and 7-10, then number 6 is probably off the table.
 
2012-09-30 02:00:53 PM  

silo123j: Subby, if you do not pay attention to 1-5 and 7-10, then number 6 is probably off the table.


It seems they've been doing a lot of #6, she seemed continuously pregnant for about 3 years.

/breeding like farmers
 
2012-09-30 02:05:03 PM  
Comedians have a lot of emotional baggage. They'll be divorced within five years.
 
2012-09-30 02:12:19 PM  
If you're irritated by your partner, imagine him as a small child.
One-sided?
 
2012-09-30 02:14:45 PM  
6. Have sex with each other. And if you can't have sex with each other have sex with other people. for some reason

Fixed. Now #6 works.
 
2012-09-30 02:18:29 PM  

LockeOak: silo123j: Subby, if you do not pay attention to 1-5 and 7-10, then number 6 is probably off the table.

It seems they've been doing a lot of #6, she seemed continuously pregnant for about 3 years.

/breeding like farmers


If I had the opportunity to breed Sam Bee, you're goddamn right I'd take the shot. And you would too.
 
2012-09-30 02:43:42 PM  
Surprisingly, the 100% effective Bluebeard strategy for avoiding divorce wasn't even mentioned.
 
2012-09-30 02:45:42 PM  

jasonvatch: If you're irritated by your partner, imagine him as a small child.
One-sided?


Just don't combine that one with #6.
 
2012-09-30 02:47:53 PM  
Don't sweat the small stuff
Your spouse is not your adversary, don't treat them like one
Fark, a lot
Don't have kids
 
2012-09-30 03:00:24 PM  

NewportBarGuy: 6. Have sex with each other. And if you can't have sex with each other have sex with other people. for some reason

Fixed. Now #6 works.


Well, my work is done here.
 
2012-09-30 03:09:09 PM  
FTFA: Put your BlackBerry away and stop worrying about the broken garage-door opener. Have dessert in lieu of dinner.

Spend an hour a week swapping stories stories about your diabetes.
 
2012-09-30 03:14:54 PM  
Marry someone you can't imagine your life without. Seriously, I'd be a mess without my hubby.
 
2012-09-30 03:19:39 PM  
I like those. That was a pretty light, fun article. They sound like they still have fun together. Good for them. Been 18 years together this year. She's my best friend, my confidant, my biggest critic, the most irritating person ever and my lover and mom of our cool teenager. I love being married to her. Most of the time. I can't even imagine her not in my life. We just fit.
 
2012-09-30 03:28:42 PM  

basemetal: Don't sweat the small stuff
Your spouse is not your adversary, don't treat them like one
Fark, a lot
Don't have kids


Nah...kids are fun and give you an excuse to shop in the toy section. Have you seen the new stuff? They're doing way cooler things now than they did then. Except for lawn darts. Those were pretty bad-ass. And Green Machines. And those water balloon slingshot things you put your feet into and launched stuff down the street. And the doors could all be unlocked and the kids were all safe and the neighbor's mom would totally feed you and.....


Sigh.
 
2012-09-30 03:31:46 PM  
#6 - Use sex as a weapon. Withhold it every chance you get, for the smallest possible slight.
 
2012-09-30 04:12:23 PM  
0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.
 
2012-09-30 04:17:54 PM  

teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.


or pretending that you are equals. strange. he thinks his bigger pay check makes him more equal. and her thinking she can withhold sex to get anything that she wants makes her more equal
 
2012-09-30 04:18:42 PM  

teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.


Unless the higher wage earner is female, then she's obligated to lord it over her partner.
 
gja
2012-09-30 04:21:46 PM  

namatad: #6 - Use sex as a weapon. Withhold it every chance you get, for the smallest possible slight.


Ah, so you know my ex-wife?
 
2012-09-30 04:25:16 PM  

teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.


Here is a radically idea - don't merge finances at all. Agree to living expenses (we have a joint account which we both contribute too) but keep everything else separate.
 
2012-09-30 04:26:23 PM  
Dear lord, number 7. No, I don't take an hour to poop. I bring my gameboy with me. It's the only time I can play. So stop asking if "everything is coming out alright".
 
2012-09-30 04:27:10 PM  

gja: Ah, so you know my ex-wife?


I thought he was talking about my ex.
 
2012-09-30 04:27:25 PM  
Subby's Wife Replies: Yeah, well, who said we want to make this thing bullet proof?

; )
 
2012-09-30 04:28:32 PM  
This is the kind of advice you get from a lightweight married 10 whole years:

* No fisticuffs in public.
* When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

When you get to about 20 years, you'll start to add the important ones:
* Plan ahead as a couple for the next challenge your teenager will present so that the teen isn't pulling the "but Mom said I could".
* Have separate interests? Take separate vacations.
* Don't inflict your friends on your spouse.
 
gja
2012-09-30 04:30:32 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: gja: Ah, so you know my ex-wife?

I thought he was talking about my ex.


Damn, you too?
 
2012-09-30 04:30:36 PM  

jasonvatch: If you're irritated by your partner, imagine him as a small child.
One-sided?


I stopped there. The author isn't worth the reading time.
 
2012-09-30 04:31:28 PM  

namatad: #6 - Use sex as a weapon. Withhold it every chance you get, for the smallest possible slight.


Been there. Her best friend was a great lay.
 
2012-09-30 04:31:45 PM  
FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.
 
2012-09-30 04:32:14 PM  
Here's a sure fire way to cause permanent damage to your marriage: Disagree with our spouse on how to handle a disciplinary issue with the child in front of the child, especially a teenage. A teenager will learn who is the pushover and use that information.
 
2012-09-30 04:32:20 PM  

teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.


So, you're saying to pretend it's a 50-50 split even when there's a gross disparity in income?
 
2012-09-30 04:32:33 PM  
know if this person is going to be able to be there for me when I'm vulnerable, old or disabled...
 
2012-09-30 04:32:38 PM  
Don't get married?
 
2012-09-30 04:32:56 PM  

gingerjet: FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.


Couldn't. COULDN'T.

COULDN'T CARE LESS. JESUS farkING CHRIST.
 
2012-09-30 04:33:41 PM  

LibertyHiller: teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.

So, you're saying to pretend it's a 50-50 split even when there's a gross disparity in income?


No, more like an income disparity means nothing.
 
2012-09-30 04:34:13 PM  

Omnivorous: When you get to about 20 years, you'll start to add the important ones:
* Plan ahead as a couple for the next challenge your teenager will present so that the teen isn't pulling the "but Mom said I could".
* Have separate interests? Take separate vacations.
* Don't inflict your friends on your spouse.


For thanksgiving - he is going to visit his parents - I'm going to vegas.

I like to add one more:

* Don't inflict work events on your spouse/partner
 
2012-09-30 04:34:15 PM  
11: Tired of the wife, do the daughter 

img.metro.co.uk
 
2012-09-30 04:34:50 PM  

gingerjet: teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.

Here is a radically idea - don't merge finances at all. Agree to living expenses (we have a joint account which we both contribute too) but keep everything else separate.


That's fine as long as you're both employed but becomes far more difficult in the "stay at home caregiver" situation. There's nothing more degrading than giving your spouse an allowance of money each week and forcing them to beg for cash to survive. You want to ruin a relationship quickly, that's a great way to go about it.
 
2012-09-30 04:35:08 PM  

Omnivorous: * Plan ahead as a couple for the next challenge your teenager will present so that the teen isn't pulling the "but Mom said I could".


That doesn't work when mom doesn't have a backbone and the teen knows she can get away with anything she wants.

/been there 
//discussed an issue with my wife
///we agreed on the punishment (grounded from phone and computer for several days)
////within four hours the punishment no longer existed
 
2012-09-30 04:35:41 PM  

Bubbageegee: gingerjet: FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.

Couldn't. COULDN'T.

COULDN'T CARE LESS. JESUS farkING CHRIST.


Hey, now, no fisticuffs in public!
 
2012-09-30 04:36:07 PM  

Bubbageegee: gingerjet: FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.

Couldn't. COULDN'T.

COULDN'T CARE LESS. JESUS farkING CHRIST.


You must be a joy to live with.

/my partner was an english major and even he doesn't pull the grammer nazi bullshiat
 
2012-09-30 04:37:04 PM  

gingerjet: Bubbageegee: gingerjet: FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.

Couldn't. COULDN'T.

COULDN'T CARE LESS. JESUS farkING CHRIST.

You must be a joy to live with.

/my partner was an english major and even he doesn't pull the grammer nazi bullshiat


You're right. It's perfectly rational and reasonable to judge a person's entire character on a Fark posting.
 
2012-09-30 04:37:56 PM  
I agreed with everything except #8. That's wrong for the reasons expressed in #3. I think taking a break from a big argument to take a walk and cool off is a great idea, but do it on your own. Please don't be that couple that's wandering around having an angry conversation that people who are out trying to enjoy their walk will have to avoid. Keep that shiat at home.


coco ebert: Marry someone you can't imagine your life without. Seriously, I'd be a mess without my hubby.


Also this :-)
 
2012-09-30 04:38:12 PM  
Pro tip: my wife and I have business meetings once a week for the serious stuff. That way, we don't always argue about the serious stuff. We argue about it once a week, for an hour or so. If something comes up mid-week, you write it down and bring it up at the meeting.

All other conversation is fun.

Also, I seriously adore my wife, and that's the most important part of the divorce proof marriage. You need to enjoy each other. Plenty of caffiene and alcohol keeps me happy as well.
 
2012-09-30 04:39:07 PM  

LibertyHiller: teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.

So, you're saying to pretend it's a 50-50 split even when there's a gross disparity in income?


Don't pretend, just don't care. The amount of money being contributed doesn't matter, the total does sure, but the share doesn't. Assume that the amount earned is maximum current potential and the other person is trying to increase it. Then plan what to do with current income.
 
2012-09-30 04:39:20 PM  

gingerjet: FTFA 10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought.

I'm so glad I'm in a LTR with someone who can care less about gifts.


It's a trap!
 
2012-09-30 04:39:26 PM  

nicoffeine: Don't get married?


i291.photobucket.com

what took so long here?

FACT : Unmarried couples have a ZERO PERCENT divorce rate....
 
2012-09-30 04:39:48 PM  
Marry someone you like. Love gets in the way of reality.
 
2012-09-30 04:39:57 PM  

tiamet4: Icoco ebert: Marry someone you can't imagine your life without. Seriously, I'd be a mess without my hubby.

Also this :-)


I actually think that's one of the saddest, most pathetic statements I've ever read.
 
2012-09-30 04:40:10 PM  
"Don't get married in the first place" surprisingly absent.
 
2012-09-30 04:40:14 PM  

LibertyHiller: teto85: 0.) When merging your finances consider each other equals, even if there is a major disparity in your paychecks. Nothing destroys a marriage like one partner claiming dominance due to the size of the paycheck.

So, you're saying to pretend it's a 50-50 split even when there's a gross disparity in income?


It's more like recognizing that people contribute more to a marriage than money. If one person is working more and bringing in more money, and the other person works to handle more of the household chores, balances the family budget, or does the shopping, they are both contributing pretty equally to the marriage. The details of that balance are what you figure out in your own relationship, but if you are only looking at contribution in terms of $$$, that could be an issue down the line.
 
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