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(US News)   Mitt Romney's fool-proof plan to win the debates: Zingers   (usnews.com) divider line 711
    More: Asinine, Mitt Romney, American conservatives  
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8945 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Sep 2012 at 7:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-30 05:47:34 AM  
blaine.org
So, Mitt's gonna bring this guy with him to the debates?

/And that's his secret plan.
//Mitt should take the time to read the "Rules for the Evil Overlord."
///Especially the part about never sharing your secret plan with anyone.
 
2012-09-30 05:55:21 AM  

Guido Libido: [blaine.org image 300x225]
So, Mitt's gonna bring this guy with him to the debates?

/And that's his secret plan.
//Mitt should take the time to read the "Rules for the Evil Overlord."
///Especially the part about never sharing your secret plan with anyone.


Hes supposed to wait until the hero is perilously poised over the lava, he would make the worst super villain ever.
 
2012-09-30 05:59:08 AM  
 
2012-09-30 06:03:00 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: BSABSVR: You're not new here. You see what he is doing. It doesn't involve high roads, effort, being better or rational discussion.

Oh give it a rest. There are no more creative ways to simply ask WTF their viewpoint is, when all they are interested in is being disruptive and trolling while offering NO opinion whatsoever. If you were truly being "constructive" you would call these posters for what they are and what they are doing. You instead have taken the obviously easy and wrong way of offering unsolicited advice by passively advocating these useless trolls.

Awesome.


i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-30 06:28:59 AM  
I glanced the politics tab a couple times, and wondered why the post count on this thread was skyrocketing. I see mister Degree in Cybersecurity was doing some very nice trolling, got a ton of bites and attention. Good job, chaps.


Twilight Farkle: (from that other thread via that other guy, we are all going to die.)

OK, here's what I've got so far. This is a work-in-progress, so everyone feel free to add on to it.

The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules...


Eff that noise! The only reason I see to follow these rules is if your candidate is going to lose, you feel really strongly about it, and both Canada and Mexico turned down your immigration request!
 
2012-09-30 06:35:21 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Apos: Ok,this is clearly a satirical piece. It's just too ludicrous to be anything else. Right?

*Good farking grief

No, it's well summarized right here:

This nicely illustrates one of the big problems that the Romney campaign has brought upon itself: They keep trying to find one magic moment on which they can turn around the race.

They've got two incompatible realities going here: In one, Romney has won the campaign outright and is chasing Obama back up the road to Gettysburg. In the other, they're perilously behind, yet the election hangs on the finest of threads, and one appropriate bon mot from The Candidate will turn it all to glory for them.

Either they're conclusively winning OR they're abysmally losing (and needing Obama to provide the opening shot for their magic bullet). Since both cannot be true, the Romney campaign is operating as if both are equally true.


It's a gamble. The first "truth" is to keep the base from being demoralized about a candidate they're not overly enthusiastic for to begin with. The second "truth" is whats needed to reinforce the first, and try to keep the "Big Lie" propaganda going.
 
2012-09-30 06:57:18 AM  
i.qkme.me
 
2012-09-30 06:58:22 AM  
I wish you assholes who know better could go one goddamn thread without immediately rushing to felate the troll as soon as he shows up.
For a second there he seemed upset that he wasn't getting any replies. I thought he might leave. Turns out y'all were just getting some air before going back down.
 
2012-09-30 07:19:58 AM  

Big Dave: I wish you assholes who know better could go one goddamn thread without immediately rushing to felate the troll as soon as he shows up.
For a second there he seemed upset that he wasn't getting any replies. I thought he might leave. Turns out y'all were just getting some air before going back down.


Troll blowjobs - like clown blowjobs, but twith smaller shoes.
 
2012-09-30 07:36:03 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....


This is how you spent your Saturday night. Really, this is how you spent it. I'm not saying you're a loser, but, well...
 
2012-09-30 07:37:09 AM  
Romney could be a master orator whose political opinions were the exact copy of my own and I'd still despise him after any debate due to his goddamn self-satisfied smirk that he carries the entire time. Seriously, that thing is beyond annoying, and you'd have thought his handlers would have coached it out of him during the primaries. Americans don't hate many things more than politicians, but "smug" may be one of them.
 
2012-09-30 07:55:01 AM  
This reminds me of that episode of "Monk" where Adrian Monk was trying to put a radio shock jock behind bars for murder, so he got on his show and started telling these stale Milton Berle era jokes on the air to zing the shock jock.
 
2012-09-30 08:17:09 AM  

propasaurus: His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy.

Something the actual President Obama has never done.

/the GOP's imaginary 0bama, maybe


To the GOP every move Obama makes is smug and evasive. They've been raised to always keep an eye on the blah guy.
 
2012-09-30 08:39:42 AM  
I can't be bothered to watch the debates. Why, I can't even be bothered to take responsibility for my own life.
 
2012-09-30 09:04:10 AM  
wow there's a lot of butthurt in this thread

3 butthurt cheeks worth.
 
2012-09-30 09:09:56 AM  

cryinoutloud: I can't be bothered to watch the debates. Why, I can't even be bothered to take responsibility for my own life.


If you need to watch the debates at this point to make up your mind, you're a loser.
 
2012-09-30 09:15:46 AM  
webpages.charter.net
 
2012-09-30 09:16:11 AM  
Plouffe is on MTP right now and can barely contain his glee at the prospect of Mitt's 'Zingers'.
 
2012-09-30 09:31:30 AM  
I'm glad 3_butt_cheeks took all those screen shots. Now we'll never forget the most retarded thread in the history of FARK.
 
2012-09-30 09:44:38 AM  

TV's Vinnie: Marcus Aurelius: I am ashamed of all of you.

Here's the ultimate zinger of all time:
[rlv.zcache.com image 400x400]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x299]
I dunno. "You're no Jack Kennedy" still burns the right wing to this very day.

/Was actually in the audience that day (Omaha)
//Cameras of that era could not fully capture the "WHO THREW A DOG TURD INTO MY MOUTH?!" look on Quayle's face at that moment


That was the day we finally confirmed that vice presidential debates don't matter.
 
2012-09-30 09:47:32 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: BSABSVR: You're not new here. You see what he is doing. It doesn't involve high roads, effort, being better or rational discussion.

Oh give it a rest. There are no more creative ways to simply ask WTF their viewpoint is, when all they are interested in is being disruptive and trolling while offering NO opinion whatsoever. If you were truly being "constructive" you would call these posters for what they are and what they are doing. You instead have taken the obviously easy and wrong way of offering unsolicited advice by passively advocating these useless trolls.

Awesome.


This may in fact be the first truly non-partisan troll comment ever made.
 
2012-09-30 09:50:53 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Mitt will win the debate using stingers.


Well, stingers were a crucial component in Reagan's victory over Carter, that's a fact.
 
2012-09-30 09:55:55 AM  

BorgiaGinz: Guntram Shatterhand: StreetlightInTheGhetto: GodDAMN I wish the sane Republicans still *left* in the freaking party had the sense and strength to give Huntsman a fighting chance. I may disagree with the man on a whole f--king lot of things, but I can respect him.

This is possibly the stupidest thing I heard. "I don't agree with Huntman, but I'll vote for him because he talks pretty." How about you raise your standards a little bit and go for someone that, you know, supports what you stand for? I know it's impossible to get exactly what you want out of a candidate, but at this point you're not even trying. At what point do you actually start voting for what you want instead of blinding for a party?


No, you are the stupid one because you totally did not understand what he said. We need a sane GOP because it is unhealthy to have one party filled with crazy people. We need two (or more) parties that can handle issues like adults. Moreover, just as The Doctor needs a companion to hold him back, the Democrats need a conservative party to contest some of their ideas, just as the GOP needs the Democrats to argue down some of their ideas.


Wow, you spelled out what I meant (and yeah, that was *exactly* my point) *and* with a Dr Who reference to boot?

Yeah, you're favorited.

/although for the record, hi, I'm SLITG, and I'm a woman
 
2012-09-30 09:57:00 AM  

IlGreven: TV's Vinnie: Marcus Aurelius: I am ashamed of all of you.

Here's the ultimate zinger of all time:
[rlv.zcache.com image 400x400]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x299]
I dunno. "You're no Jack Kennedy" still burns the right wing to this very day.

/Was actually in the audience that day (Omaha)
//Cameras of that era could not fully capture the "WHO THREW A DOG TURD INTO MY MOUTH?!" look on Quayle's face at that moment

That was the day we finally confirmed that vice presidential debates don't matter.


I remember when Dan Quayle was the idiot politician. That "potatoe" thing went on for years. He looks like farking Charlemagne now by comparison.
 
2012-09-30 09:57:37 AM  
Romney/Ryan 2012
"Let Them Eat (Snack) Cake"
 
2012-09-30 10:01:32 AM  

Guntram Shatterhand: StreetlightInTheGhetto: GodDAMN I wish the sane Republicans still *left* in the freaking party had the sense and strength to give Huntsman a fighting chance. I may disagree with the man on a whole f--king lot of things, but I can respect him.

This is possibly the stupidest thing I heard. "I don't agree with Huntman, but I'll vote for him because he talks pretty." How about you raise your standards a little bit and go for someone that, you know, supports what you stand for? I know it's impossible to get exactly what you want out of a candidate, but at this point you're not even trying. At what point do you actually start voting for what you want instead of blinding for a party?

That said, what's the over/under on Romney ducking out of the other debates? Because if ihe's really going to toss zingers at the first one, I doubt if going in front of the cameras twice after that is going to really resolve anything.


I'm gonna cut and paste this again just to make sure you "get it"


We need a sane GOP because it is unhealthy to have one party filled with crazy people. We need two (or more) parties that can handle issues like adults. Moreover, just as The Doctor needs a companion to hold him back, the Democrats need a conservative party to contest some of their ideas, just as the GOP needs the Democrats to argue down some of their ideas.


I may have disagreed with Huntsman positions, but he was diplomatic and could - and did - work with Obama to achieve a common goal as Ambassador. And when he got into the race he was doomed from the start because he said something like (paraphrasing), "Obama's not a bad man, but we do disagree".

That and knowing Chinese = enough where in a freaking merry go round of 'this week's current GOP primary favorite', he wasn't even a media darling, ever. That's sad.

/thanks again BG
 
2012-09-30 10:01:49 AM  
www.theblaze.com

"Well, Mr. Romney obviously doesn't approve of my handling of the economy. I wonder what his economic plan is."


msnbcmedia.msn.com


www.armenianweekly.com


msnbcmedia.msn.com

blogs.telegraph.co.uk

newarkpress.infot2.gstatic.com

HIS MOTHER'S A WHORE COMMIES F*CKED YOUR MOTHER!!YARRHARYARRR!!

www.ngoilgas.com

a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-09-30 10:02:18 AM  
When we have someone on ignore, why can't we have it block anytime they are quoted by someone else. I still have to read their drivel, and it kind of defeats the purpose of having them on ignore.
 
2012-09-30 10:06:34 AM  

jonohull: When we have someone on ignore, why can't we have it block anytime they are quoted by someone else. I still have to read their drivel, and it kind of defeats the purpose of having them on ignore.


Silly complaint. How do they know the person was on your ignore list.

Pro-Tip: Try complaining to Fark Admins. Maybe they will add a feature to filter posts that quote Farkers you've ignored.
 
2012-09-30 10:07:29 AM  
There's an option to do that. I just favorite them in progressively deeper shades of red, and a note when they out one of their alts.
 
2012-09-30 10:12:27 AM  
Well, would you look at that:

□ Ignore posts from unignored users that mention users on your ignore list
□ Ignore posts from unignored users that contain logins on your ignore list
 
2012-09-30 10:15:28 AM  
Like all his devastating zingers from the primaries?
 
2012-09-30 10:15:35 AM  

Gergesa: Presuming that Romney loses, I wonder who the next candidate the GOP offers up will be.


It's gonna be Santorum. Seriously.
 
2012-09-30 10:18:00 AM  

ghare: cryinoutloud: I can't be bothered to watch the debates. Why, I can't even be bothered to take responsibility for my own life.

If you need to watch the debates at this point to make up your mind, you're a loser.


Oh, it's not to make up minds at this point. It's for teh lulz. You know, the only reason anyone does anything.
 
2012-09-30 10:20:39 AM  

LordOfThePings: Well, would you look at that:

□ Ignore posts from unignored users that mention users on your ignore list
□ Ignore posts from unignored users that contain logins on your ignore list


ZING!
 
2012-09-30 10:23:20 AM  

LordOfThePings: Well, would you look at that:

□ Ignore posts from unignored users that mention users on your ignore list
□ Ignore posts from unignored users that contain logins on your ignore list


cdn2.mamapop.com

You sir are an educator. A venerable scholar who passes down knowledge to lazy and slow. Thank you. +1 Smart.
 
2012-09-30 10:37:56 AM  

Sgt Otter: vartian: Mr. Romney's team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy.

Zingers really can't be memorized. They have to be organic, and spur-of-the-moment from someone with a natural quick wit. The victim has to unwittingly set them up, and that's when you strike.

If the victim doesn't phrase it exactly how you practiced it, even a slight variance on the set-up will make the zinger seem forced and lame, and you end up sounding like George Costanza's "Jerk Store" zinger. 

If this is his big secret weapon, he's farked.


Exactly. Came in to say this. Another thing to think about is the whole conservative concept of what is considered funny. Are these "zingers" normal people humor or Republican echo chamber humor where you have to be "in" on their belief system to "get" the joke? Every conservative joke is basically an inside joke amongst themselves. To most others it sounds more like a mean spirited character attack than a joke.

This sounds more like a way to keep the "base" from revolting by making them think they won the debate rather than a way to sway any swing voters.
 
2012-09-30 10:42:14 AM  
Ronald Reagan.

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2012-09-30 10:43:30 AM  
I'm looking forward to when he unleashes these pre-canned "zingers." At completely inappropriate and irrelevant times.
 
2012-09-30 10:44:38 AM  
But only if they are home-made Zingers. Not those kind you would buy at a 7-11.
 
2012-09-30 10:51:45 AM  

shotglasss: [webpages.charter.net image 506x625]


Try harder Shill/troll. No one takes you seriously.
You also sound tired.
 
2012-09-30 10:55:45 AM  
Mr. Romney's team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy.

If you needed a single example on just how bad his campaign staff is, this would serve as well as any.
 
2012-09-30 10:56:28 AM  

Mugato: IlGreven: TV's Vinnie: Marcus Aurelius: I am ashamed of all of you.

Here's the ultimate zinger of all time:
[rlv.zcache.com image 400x400]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x299]
I dunno. "You're no Jack Kennedy" still burns the right wing to this very day.

/Was actually in the audience that day (Omaha)
//Cameras of that era could not fully capture the "WHO THREW A DOG TURD INTO MY MOUTH?!" look on Quayle's face at that moment

That was the day we finally confirmed that vice presidential debates don't matter.

I remember when Dan Quayle was the idiot politician. That "potatoe" thing went on for years. He looks like farking Charlemagne now by comparison.


By comparison to who?
 
2012-09-30 11:09:03 AM  

Shrugging Atlas: Mr. Romney's team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy.

If you needed a single example on just how bad his campaign staff is, this would serve as well as any.


Obviously they've been hiding any signs of competence in order to catch Obama unprepared. I wouldn't be surprised if they continue this strategy well past election day.

Then in January--Bazinga!
 
2012-09-30 11:14:18 AM  
Old coot McCain had a good one back in 2008. Obama went on a long tangent comparing McCain's voting record to Bush's and he looked at Obama and said "Senator, if you wanted to run against George Bush you should have ran four years ago".
 
2012-09-30 11:16:39 AM  

jcooli09: By comparison to who?


Todd Akin and Mitt Romney. And Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann.
 
2012-09-30 11:22:35 AM  
Here's what I predicted two weeks ago:

FuturePastNow: I predict very boring debates. Romney is too stupid to ad-lib any good zingers (he'll try some obviously rehearsed ones that will fall flat), and Obama's debate record shows he has no real inclination to attack. The moderators, meanwhile, will cash their checks and ask softballs with no follow-up


I'll stick with that.
 
2012-09-30 11:30:16 AM  
Obama: Some nights, you stay up cashing in your stock opts,
Some nights, you call it a draw
Some nights, you wish that your cash could win the White House
Some nights, you wish you could cash out

But I still wake up, I still see your gaffs
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what you stand for oh
What do you stand for? What do you stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore...

Romney: Um... Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?

Nailed it.
 
2012-09-30 11:37:58 AM  
Wow. What a night. Meth, not even once.
 
2012-09-30 11:44:16 AM  
3_Butt_Cheeks: C'mon. There are SO many angry lil boys n girls out there, attacking my position or opinion on things, yet NONE have the farking SPINE to express themselves.

LAST TIME.

WHO will step up?

*COPIED POSTS RIGHT NOW*


Someone needs a hug.
i232.photobucket.com
 
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