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(US News)   Mitt Romney's fool-proof plan to win the debates: Zingers   (usnews.com) divider line 709
    More: Asinine, Mitt Romney, American conservatives  
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8947 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Sep 2012 at 7:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-30 01:17:07 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: Notabunny: A politically competent candidate would have been able to restrain himself, let the situation unfold and possibly make Obama look bad. But Romney proved he lacks self-control. He was too eager to gain some points

Lacks self control? You see some kind of pattern here?

Gain some points is kinda what politics is.

Notabunny: focused his comments on Obama instead of the situation, and made himself look like a self-centered opportunist.

Obama and is cronies lied from the beginning, and made it much much worse for themselves without much reason in doing so. Despite the mental masterbation of the media, Romney was spot on.

Notabunny: Romney's move stunk of craven desperation

Not really, it was clear, concise, and correct. Being rigt is not 'desperate'.

Notabunny: I'm trying to be as polite as Peggy Noonan. Romney proved he's a Not Ready For Prime-Time Player

Obama continues is fail tour, trying vocal ninjitsu to deflect from an unemployment rate still over 8%, and crashing economy, tax hikes with obamacare, failed cronyism, and a middle east ripping apart depite his 'neutrailty' with Egypt and Syria, while Iran arms everyone.

At least the View got to chill with the Prez.


Well, we're going to disagree. But regardless of what we two may think, Romney's standing in the polls have taken a significant hit since his statement, and it may be the point his team will look back upon and say, "That's the moment when we lost."
 
2012-09-30 01:17:54 AM  
I'm suddenly reminded of Palin's "Can I call you Joe?" moment.
 
2012-09-30 01:20:25 AM  

smimmy: I'm suddenly reminded of Palin's "Can I call you Joe?" moment.


O'Biden.
 
2012-09-30 01:21:09 AM  

Notabunny: Well, we're going to disagree. But regardless of what we two may think, Romney's standing in the polls have taken a significant hit since his statement, and it may be the point his team will look back upon and say, "That's the moment when we lost."


Fair enough, which may be true. Romney has never had much of a shot with the media and political landscape they promote. Depending on the true functionality of the debates and whether anyone actually knows about the real middle east timeline, fast and furious etc to be able to assess answers from each candidate remains to be seen.
 
2012-09-30 01:23:59 AM  

Graffito: fqhollis: No no no. It was a typo. The key to winning the debate was singers. They're going to get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to play Mitt and debate Obama

You are all wrong. The key to winning the debate is fingers. The candidate who hits the buzzer first gets to answer. (All responses must be in the form of a question.)


That's just ridiculous. It's more than likely meant to be Winger as Obama will be Heading for a Heartbreak once Romney wipes to floor with him in the debates
 
2012-09-30 01:24:57 AM  
Maybe I should just fill my pool with vodka and jump in every 2 minutes on Wednesday night, so that I only stay behind our drinking game a little bit.
 
2012-09-30 01:25:55 AM  

Runs_With_Scissors_: StopArrestingMe: Excellent plan from Romney who continues to make remarkably few missteps. After all even Bush used prepared zingers, Im sure we all remember that classic debate moment when he said not only did Gore invent the internet, he also invented the calculator! It made a lot of sense, and it showed what kind of man Bush was and what we could expect for the next 8 years. Romney is cut from a similar, white cloth. Cotton perhaps. Unlike Obama, who is just a stupid flavor of the week, Romney is a better flavor (Vanilla). Wavering voters who supported Obama in 08 have already switched over but these jokes will really push Romney over the top. He appeals to all the voters: whites, mormons, rednecks, gingers. Nappy headed ho-hos are the only ones left in the Obama camp. Obama has saddled us all with healthcare (thanks a lot Hitler) and his plan to let hispanics stay here will result in spanish being made the national language quicker than you can say "Do si dos" (one two three). Obama looks tired, the twinkile is gone from his eye. Bottom line is this guy who disgraces Uncle Sam owes us all an apology and Mitt will make him pay up with some brilliant satire like only a Republican can. Ive already come up with a few zingers for Romney to use.

1. "Obama already had one term for president, but unlike other Oreos, this time you CAN have just one" (pause for laughter)
2. "Lemonades. Lemon, wet, good. Obama? Lame, wetback, hood!" (hold for applause and U-S-A chants)
3. "Ding Dong" "Whos there" "Barry" "Barry Who" "Thank you Barry munch for ruining are economy, Soetoro". (This one requires Obama to play along)
4. "Somebody is going to have to pay for Obamacare, and you know it wont be a Nig footin the bill!" (Wait for Obama to cry racism, then say "I meant Fig Newton the bill but the teleprompter malfunctioned." Standing GOP ovation)

Im no Larry the Cable Guy but those are pretty funny right there if you ask me. Bottom line is Obamas got nothin. Mint Romney has this e ...


There was "tag along", which is the name of a Girl Scout cookie.
 
2012-09-30 01:26:26 AM  
I just can't believe this madness. It's...indescribable.

He's really gonna try to play OH SNAP! with Obama?

You know, Obama?? The guy that double-whammied Trump at the 2011 WH journo dinner and then dropped a giant smoking Bin Laden on the creature on his head??
 
2012-09-30 01:27:08 AM  

Summoner101: Graffito: fqhollis: No no no. It was a typo. The key to winning the debate was singers. They're going to get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to play Mitt and debate Obama

You are all wrong. The key to winning the debate is fingers. The candidate who hits the buzzer first gets to answer. (All responses must be in the form of a question.)

That's just ridiculous. It's more than likely meant to be Winger as Obama will be Heading for a Heartbreak once Romney wipes to floor with him in the debates


No, you're all wrong. Mitt will win the debate using stingers. If alcoholic drinks tasting like mouthwash can't do the trick, what will?
 
2012-09-30 01:27:26 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Actually, the more I look at the posts I think someone accidentally left their bot on.


He/she/it/they are just hoping and praying someone is fool enough to respond so they can take off on another inane and unrelated tangent.

Throw enough shiat at a wall, SOMETHING'S bound to stick, I guess.
 
2012-09-30 01:27:57 AM  
How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....
 
2012-09-30 01:28:02 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: Romney has never had much of a shot with the media and political landscape they promote.



waaaaaaaaaa the librul media is so biased and hurtful waaaaaaaaa

I think we found Sarah Palin's logon
 
2012-09-30 01:28:54 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....


Oh god, Skynet is posting from the future!
 
2012-09-30 01:29:37 AM  
oh come on 3butt. Whimpering is really unmanly.
 
2012-09-30 01:32:03 AM  

Gyrfalcon: cameroncrazy1984: Actually, the more I look at the posts I think someone accidentally left their bot on.

He/she/it/they are just hoping and praying someone is fool enough to respond so they can take off on another inane and unrelated tangent.

Throw enough shiat at a wall, SOMETHING'S bound to stick, I guess.


I just gloss over Junior's twitchy comments looking for funny in other posts.
 
2012-09-30 01:32:06 AM  

Kittypie070: I just can't believe this madness. It's...indescribable.

He's really gonna try to play OH SNAP! with Obama?

You know, Obama?? The guy that double-whammied Trump at the 2011 WH journo dinner and then dropped a giant smoking Bin Laden on the creature on his head??


Trump? Gee, how impressive. Madness???? Sure, if someone describes WHY/HOW they attempt to defend Barack and use Donald Trump as their gauge of awesome success.

Bin Laden? An ongoing operation completed during Obama's term via is decision. Afterwards, is party took nearly sole responsibility and after gloating, we were it with attacks on 9/11 and 12 which was and still is nicely muted.

Yay.
 
2012-09-30 01:33:06 AM  

GAT_00: While snark can win votes if done right, I find it unlikely at best Romney can zing without sounding like a pompous dick.


Romney IS a pompous dick. By definition, anything he does will sound like whatever it is he's doing, done by a pompous dick. If he was donating used textbooks to underprivileged school children in a poor mostly minority town after apologizing to them for the steps his party has taken to keep them from having the same opportunities that were available to him, he would sound like a pompous dick donating used textbooks to underprivileged school children in a poor mostly minority town after apologizing to them for the steps his party has taken to keep them from having the same opportunities that were available to him.

Of course he won't. He's all in favor of the policies that keep our wage gap ever widening, are moving ever more middle class families into poverty, and prevent the poor from having access to the type of education and advantages that will help them better themselves and one day achieve the kind of upward mobility that is the American dream.

Which, among many reasons, is why he doesn't just sound like a pompous dick...he IS a pompous dick.
 
2012-09-30 01:33:06 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Summoner101: Graffito: fqhollis: No no no. It was a typo. The key to winning the debate was singers. They're going to get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to play Mitt and debate Obama

You are all wrong. The key to winning the debate is fingers. The candidate who hits the buzzer first gets to answer. (All responses must be in the form of a question.)

That's just ridiculous. It's more than likely meant to be Winger as Obama will be Heading for a Heartbreak once Romney wipes to floor with him in the debates

No, you're all wrong. Mitt will win the debate using stingers. If alcoholic drinks tasting like mouthwash can't do the trick, what will?


No, no, no, no. His secret weapon to win the debate is Klinger. He's taking acting lessons from Republican donor Jamie Farr to come off as more likable.
 
2012-09-30 01:33:35 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....

Oh god, Skynet is posting from the future!


He could be posting from the middle of the ocean.
 
2012-09-30 01:33:57 AM  

clambam: What's amazing to me, even at this stage of the game, is how anyone could possibly think Mitt Romney is some kind of a hyper-competent genius, business or otherwise. Based on his background and connections he was handed a well-oiled money-making machine in his early 20's and encouraged both to use it for all it was worth and to take credit for its design. He was groomed from adolescence for high office in exactly the way repubs like to accuse Obama of being (as though being the son of the head of GM and governor of Michigan provided exactly the same career path as being the half-black child of a Kenyan immigrant, even one with a time machine). No one has ever opposed Mitt, told him he was wrong, or held him to account for his actions, but being born with a silver spoon in your mouth is no excuse. FDR was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and he had more understanding of human needs and motivations in his little finger than Romney has in his whole body. In the final analysis, Mitt Romney is and always has been damaged goods. In that sense, he is the perfect candidate for the current repub Party.


Well put, you magnificent bastard.

GodDAMN I wish the sane Republicans still *left* in the freaking party had the sense and strength to give Huntsman a fighting chance. I may disagree with the man on a whole f--king lot of things, but I can respect him.

That said, having to poll supporters-of-my-non-profit at work for the past month plus (we're non-partisan, figuring out where our supporters stand, blah blah), I've been able to say to the undecideds, without lying, "well, I'm registered Independent, and I'm waiting for the debates".

Which is true. Not to decide, mind you. But I *am* waiting for them. Especially since I've read that Romney fired the guy who was smart enough to get him through the primary debates because Romney was afraid of being overshadowed / not getting the 'credit'.
 
2012-09-30 01:34:45 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....

Oh god, Skynet is posting from the future!

He could be posting from the middle of the ocean.


I would watch a Meet The Press moderated by dolphins
 
2012-09-30 01:35:02 AM  

Kittypie070: oh come on 3butt. Whimpering is really unmanly.


Denial is just as astute and noble.

Any of you can feel free to counter anything with any research facts...I at least always admit when proven incorrect.

For example, OMGZ FOXNEWS!!!1??!?!?!?! had more positive coverage for Barack than McCain. Mind bogggling I know.
 
2012-09-30 01:36:33 AM  
Silence of the Trolls.....
 
2012-09-30 01:36:36 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....

Oh god, Skynet is posting from the future!

He could be posting from the middle of the ocean.


But then the news shows would also have to be broadcast from the middle of the ocean.
 
2012-09-30 01:36:41 AM  

stoli n coke: RyogaM: Let's look at all the zingers noted so far:

There you go again. Reagan/Carter
Exploit my opponents age. Reagan/Mondale
You're no Kennedy. Bentsen/Quale
Say it ain't so, Joe. Palin/Biden

Of those memorable zingers, the Zingers lost the election half of the time to the Zingee. It just does not seem to make any real difference to the election or the debate. So, the entire strategy is WTF.

Well, the fourth doesn't really count since Palin kept asking at the beginning if she could call Biden Joe.

That zinger was so telegraphed it had a Western Union stamp on it.


She actually had to call him Joe because in the preparations, she continually accidentally referred to him as Obiden (a combination of Obama and Biden). She could only remember 'Joe' so her team had her go with that. Unfortunately a true story.
 
2012-09-30 01:37:11 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: Silence of the Trolls.....


One can only hope, but you keep talking.
 
2012-09-30 01:38:14 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: Kittypie070: I just can't believe this madness. It's...indescribable.

He's really gonna try to play OH SNAP! with Obama?

You know, Obama?? The guy that double-whammied Trump at the 2011 WH journo dinner and then dropped a giant smoking Bin Laden on the creature on his head??

Trump? Gee, how impressive. Madness???? Sure, if someone describes WHY/HOW they attempt to defend Barack and use Donald Trump as their gauge of awesome success.

Bin Laden? An ongoing operation completed during Obama's term via is decision. Afterwards, is party took nearly sole responsibility and after gloating, we were it with attacks on 9/11 and 12 which was and still is nicely muted.

Yay.


Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

Personally I'd rather he be taken alive but all things said and done.... it could not have been done better, if they had to take him dead.
 
2012-09-30 01:39:18 AM  

stoli n coke: Shouldn't you be framing your Masters in Cybersecurity?


Is this the new GED in law?
 
2012-09-30 01:39:30 AM  

Karne: She actually had to call him Joe because in the preparations, she continually accidentally referred to him as Obiden (a combination of Obama and Biden). She could only remember 'Joe' so her team had her go with that. Unfortunately a true story.


Out of curiosity, where did you learn this? I have a feeling it's from a book I should pick up eventually, but I could be wrong.
 
2012-09-30 01:40:02 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an a idiot.


FTFY ;)
 
2012-09-30 01:40:04 AM  

A Terrible Human: stoli n coke: Shouldn't you be framing your Masters in Cybersecurity?

Is this the new GED in law?


You betcha. Claimed to have a "Masters in Cybersecurity" from a university that has had the program for less than a year.
 
2012-09-30 01:40:40 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: How farking PISSSED is Susan Rice right now, getting absolutely humiliated all over the Sunday news shows. Talk about shoved under a fleet of busses....

Oh god, Skynet is posting from the future!

He could be posting from the middle of the ocean.

But then the news shows would also have to be broadcast from the middle of the ocean.


It might explain some things.
 
2012-09-30 01:42:20 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Karne: She actually had to call him Joe because in the preparations, she continually accidentally referred to him as Obiden (a combination of Obama and Biden). She could only remember 'Joe' so her team had her go with that. Unfortunately a true story.

Out of curiosity, where did you learn this? I have a feeling it's from a book I should pick up eventually, but I could be wrong.


Goddamn post before finished... I just figured she called him Joe either as a continuation of her "gee gosh" persona or as a way to take authority away from the man.

That said, this is now obligatory whenever Biden is mentioned. If you haven't watched it, you damn well better. It's worth it. To say the least.

/humans acting human
//with empathy and understanding, nontheless
///Romney's programmers haven't gotten to that point yet
 
2012-09-30 01:43:28 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: Silence of the Trolls.....

One can only hope, but you keep talking.


Probably getting paid by the post.
 
2012-09-30 01:43:33 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.


Wow you're an idiot. You have no clue when the operation started, HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin), ow many agencies were involved.....all your sheepish mind can is is "Duh, um Obammmaa killed bad guy".

Wake up. If ou are resting your faith in Barack on the Osama raid, you are exactly the type of person the Democrats love.
 
2012-09-30 01:43:34 AM  

WhyteRaven74: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an a idiot.

FTFY ;)


Fair enough.

/kinda tipsy
//posting on Fark on a Saturday night; would you expect any less?
 
2012-09-30 01:44:21 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

Wow you're an idiot. You have no clue when the operation started, HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin), ow many agencies were involved.....all your sheepish mind can is is "Duh, um Obammmaa killed bad guy".

Wake up. If ou are resting your faith in Barack on the Osama raid, you are exactly the type of person the Democrats love.


Oh, bless your heart.
 
2012-09-30 01:44:47 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

Wow you're an idiot. You have no clue when the operation started, HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin), ow many agencies were involved.....all your sheepish mind can is is "Duh, um Obammmaa killed bad guy".

Wake up. If ou are resting your faith in Barack on the Osama raid, you are exactly the type of person the Democrats love.


Two words:

Admiral McRaven

So yes, we do know how the operation started. Or do you want to go ahead and question the person in charge of the SEAL Team involved?
 
2012-09-30 01:45:18 AM  
"I just flew in for this debate, and golly are my arms tired! Over to you, Barack!"

"Look at us up here. Only guy we're missing is Sinatra! Badda-bing!"

"So I'm watching my wife's dancing horse, and I say 'Honey, you saddle that hourse like Obummer saddled us with debt!' BAM!" *mic drop*
 
2012-09-30 01:46:23 AM  

fusillade762: cameroncrazy1984: 3_Butt_Cheeks: Silence of the Trolls.....

One can only hope, but you keep talking.

Probably getting paid by the post.


If you (1 sec while I laugh) have ANYTHING..seriously, just one thing....to counter anything I have presented as FACT, or even better, can actually form your own opinion without acknowledgement and support from your like minded friends, I'd love to hear it.

Let see....
 
2012-09-30 01:46:53 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

Wow you're an idiot. You have no clue when the operation started, HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin), ow many agencies were involved.....all your sheepish mind can is is "Duh, um Obammmaa killed bad guy".

Wake up. If ou are resting your faith in Barack on the Osama raid, you are exactly the type of person the Democrats love.


There you go again
 
2012-09-30 01:47:29 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Oh, bless your heart.


Thanks, but you really don't seem the type to have any kind of spirituality, Appreciate the thought though.
 
2012-09-30 01:47:41 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin)



let me guess, you incorrectly believe it was obtained by torture, right? What a shock, you're a walking bumbling mess of year old proven wrong talking points
 
2012-09-30 01:47:42 AM  
"Barack and I are like that song Ebony and Ivory. Only we aren't living in perfect harmony because I THINK HE'S A COMMUNIST. BING!" *mic drop*

/"I am gosh darn fracking NAILING IT up here!"
 
2012-09-30 01:48:53 AM  
"This debate is sponsored by Oreo. That makes me the soft, white pasty filling... wait, that one didn't work."
 
2012-09-30 01:49:26 AM  

Summoner101: 3_Butt_Cheeks: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Wow you're an idiot.

Hey, remember when the Republican contenders were asked if they would go into another country to get Bin Laden? Do ya?

Obama made the call knowing full well that if everything got FUBAR it was the end of him. But he did it anyway. And Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

Wow you're an idiot. You have no clue when the operation started, HOW the intel was revealed (oooh boy is THAT gonna get under your skin), ow many agencies were involved.....all your sheepish mind can is is "Duh, um Obammmaa killed bad guy".

Wake up. If ou are resting your faith in Barack on the Osama raid, you are exactly the type of person the Democrats love.

There you go again


ZING!
 
2012-09-30 01:49:34 AM  

Bucky Katt: A Terrible Human: So I'm going to be drinking Tequila for the debate. I'm guessing I should be preparing myself for alcohol poisoning.

just pace yourself, ok?


Drink when there's a zinger?
 
2012-09-30 01:49:37 AM  

Summoner101: There you go again


Facts can be painful to the left part of the political spectrum, though usually much more pronounced online under the mask of anonymity.

I'm sure you have valid rebuttals along with the rest of the trolls, now frantically searching. :)
 
2012-09-30 01:49:38 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: research facts



To which you have posted none
 
2012-09-30 01:50:24 AM  

3_Butt_Cheeks: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Oh, bless your heart.

Thanks, but you really don't seem the type to have any kind of spirituality, Appreciate the thought though.


Oh, you're adorable. That's just freaking adorable.

I do hope you're getting paid by the post - despite myself, I do - , otherwise, I'm sorry. I really am.

/going back to watching Biden's speech which makes your drivel inconsequential to say the least
 
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