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(Slate)   How the "How come you didn't know my big news, I posted it on my Facebook page" phenomena is ruining friendships and putting the anti-social into social networking   (slate.com) divider line 157
    More: Obvious, Farhad Manjoo, Facebook, memoranda  
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10111 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2012 at 10:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-28 10:46:21 AM
/csb
I hard to explain this to my wife the other day. turns out her best friend's husband's grandfather passed away a couple weeks ago. The friend sent an email to a bunch of people and it got lost in her inbox. She tells me way after the fact and seemed upset that we didn't go pay our respects. then she says to me, "I didn't know, she didn't put it on Facebook". *facepalm*
 
2012-09-28 10:53:05 AM
Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.
 
2012-09-28 10:54:35 AM
"Phenomenon" dumbmitter..
 
2012-09-28 10:55:08 AM
Atoadaso!

/FB or something like it will have a place in society.
//I'll wait to join in on that until society is mature enough to figure out what that place is.
 
2012-09-28 10:55:20 AM
My sister in law actually said that to me once. We don't really talk much anymore. She's still mad at me. I have told her and everyone I know a million times that I don't use fb but they don't listen.
I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't use it sometimes.
 
2012-09-28 10:56:08 AM
Facebook "friendships" are not real. That is all.
 
2012-09-28 10:56:20 AM
Is there supposed to be an article there? I only see a headline.
 
2012-09-28 10:57:14 AM
No one asks me that.

And if they did, I'd unfriend them.
 
2012-09-28 10:57:49 AM
Listen....if I'm going to all the trouble of calling attention to myself, the least you could do is give me the attention I so very much deserve, you selfish prick!!!!
 
2012-09-28 10:58:16 AM
Facespace?
 
2012-09-28 10:58:21 AM
If you didn't see the e-mail, that sucks, but it happens. If you posted it on facebook, then i don't really care.
 
2012-09-28 10:58:48 AM
I know that only about 10% of you will respond to my comment (those that actually care about me), but I'm going to post it anyway...
 
2012-09-28 10:59:00 AM
I left Facebook in June, figuring I'd just take a week off and do something else. But I found myself not missing it at all, and here it is September and I'm still going on without it.

Plus, every other day there's a new story about how Facebook is monitoring this, or authorities are gonna use Facebook to catch that, and the drama left and right.

Fark it. Good riddance.
 
2012-09-28 10:59:40 AM

blatz514: Facespace?


Friendface.

/I need a cuke
 
2012-09-28 10:59:41 AM

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


^^ THIS
^^^ THAT, even
 
2012-09-28 10:59:44 AM
i171.photobucket.com
Facebook on a smartphone.

Awesome.
 
2012-09-28 11:00:07 AM
My family does this to me. "What do you mean you didn't know about the get-together Saturday, it was on Facebook like 10 times!"

Yea... that's why I don't use Facebook, asshole. Because I don't need to read EVERY FARKING PERSON I KNOW REPEATING THE SAME INANE SHIAT ALL DAY LONG.

Funny thing is that it's mostly the older users in the family that do this shiat. The younger "kids" usually just send a farking email or make a phone call like a normal person.
 
2012-09-28 11:00:31 AM
How the "How come you didn't know my big news, I posted it on my Facebook page" phenomena is ruining friendships and putting the anti-social into social networking

It is the best thing about and greatest social benefit of Facebook. It lets you distance yourself from the shallow, narcissistic, social inept people whom you'd previously have needed to be diplomatic with. Now they can invent offenses and fark off without you needing to do anything.
 
2012-09-28 11:00:50 AM
Facebook thought it wasn't important. How could all that big data machine learning be wrong?
 
2012-09-28 11:03:36 AM
I do not have a FB account and never have...

A few years back was my HS 10 year reunion, the only invites, announcements, schedules etc. were disseminated via FB.

They thought I was dead since I didn't have an account.

/Maybe they just hoped
 
2012-09-28 11:03:44 AM
Did this really need to be a video article?
 
2012-09-28 11:04:49 AM

ManateeGag: /csb
I hard to explain this to my wife the other day. turns out her best friend's husband's grandfather passed away a couple weeks ago. The friend sent an email to a bunch of people and it got lost in her inbox. She tells me way after the fact and seemed upset that we didn't go pay our respects. then she says to me, "I didn't know, she didn't put it on Facebook". *facepalm*


It doesn't make sense to me to expect someone to "pay their/our respects" to someone they barely know if they even know them at all.
 
2012-09-28 11:05:33 AM
C'mon, Facebook pals, if I will actually act like I give a shiat about every dumb thing your kids do or say, couldn't you return the favor now and then and come to one of my shows that I invite you to? Or at least tell me you won't be there? And don't do that coy "maybe" shiat, all "maybe" means is "no, but I don't want to hurt your feelings" or "no, unless absolutely nothing else is going on."
 
2012-09-28 11:06:12 AM
Oh and wanted to add:

.....But my GF on the otherhand posts EVERYTHING on her FB account!

We found out my 9 y.o. dog has terminal cancer last week. I'm having near strangers approaching me in tears telling me how sorry they are to hear the news...
 
2012-09-28 11:06:36 AM
I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't use it sometimes.

You are not alone.

//I'll wait to join in on that until society is mature enough to figure out what that place is.

This. I accept the fact that I will naturally miss out on some things not being on FB--and most of the time I'm perfectly OK with that, because I don't need to know the minutiae of your life anyway. But if a "friend" isn't willing to tell me their news because I'm not on FB, then we're not really friends.
 
2012-09-28 11:06:42 AM
I just say I haven't checked it in a while, it's easier than explaining I killed their feed months ago.
 
2012-09-28 11:07:52 AM

Pucca: I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't use it sometimes.


Me too, but you know what? I already spend 40+ hours in front of a computer every week. If someone has to interact with me on FB, they'd have to pay me for it.
 
2012-09-28 11:08:28 AM
This happens to me ALL.THE.TIME. since I have always hated Facebook and basically all social media.

/rimshot w/cymbal
 
2012-09-28 11:08:44 AM
I signed up on facebook so I would know when my roommates (who didn't work/school 14 hours a day) were throwing parties at our place. I'm thankfully now free of them and facebook for a few years now. In that way, facebook to me was analagous to the grumpy neighbor who narcs on the kids party to their parents.
 
2012-09-28 11:10:02 AM
I have a neighbor who found out the son who he (and most everyone else) suspected was gay and was still living at home had a wife and a 3 year old son via facebook.

Yes...that's what I thought too.

Saw grandpa giving the grandson a wheelbarrow ride through town last week.

Hey...that's big entertainment here in Southern Italy.
 
2012-09-28 11:11:48 AM

Pucca: My sister in law actually said that to me once. We don't really talk much anymore. She's still mad at me. I have told her and everyone I know a million times that I don't use fb but they don't listen.
I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't use it sometimes.


You're not the only one. I don't use or have a facebook account.

If any of my friends biatch about me not checking their FB updates, I'll tell them to farkoff.
 
2012-09-28 11:12:02 AM

Eckyhade: I have a neighbor who found out the son who he (and most everyone else) suspected was gay and was still living at home had a wife and a 3 year old son via facebook.

Yes...that's what I thought too.

Saw grandpa giving the grandson a wheelbarrow ride through town last week.

Hey...that's big entertainment here in Southern Italy.


If you can have sex via FB, I may change my mind about it.
 
2012-09-28 11:12:20 AM

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.


Has it been said enough yet?
 
2012-09-28 11:12:38 AM
I've already dealt with this a couple of times. As a once in a while Facebook kind of guy, I'm willing to give a little and understand that a lot of people communicate mainly in this way.
But if something is supposed to be important, and you don't tell me in person or at least call, then it wasn't that important. f*&# you.
 
zez
2012-09-28 11:13:42 AM
Is that guy's name pronounced manjuice?
 
2012-09-28 11:14:06 AM
I'm in China. Thank you Great Firewall, the ultimate FB killer.
 
2012-09-28 11:14:42 AM
I really mean that. Thank you.
 
2012-09-28 11:15:09 AM

weapon13: Pucca: My sister in law actually said that to me once. We don't really talk much anymore. She's still mad at me. I have told her and everyone I know a million times that I don't use fb but they don't listen.
I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't use it sometimes.

You're not the only one. I don't use or have a facebook account.

If any of my friends biatch about me not checking their FB updates, I'll tell them to farkoff.


This. I pretty much say, "If the terms of our friendship require me to check up on what you're doing, I'm less of a friend, and more of a parole officer. Give me a call and we'll chat."
 
M-G
2012-09-28 11:15:41 AM

AustinFakir: Facebook thought it wasn't important. How could all that big data machine learning be wrong?


Facebook is completely unreliable for information delivery. They keep farking around with their settings for what appears on the news feed, and even then, it doesn't always work. When they had the option for none/some/all updates, I'd miss things from people I had set to 'all.' But go look on their page, and there it was. My hunch is that their big data NoSQL creates a lot of this mess.
 
2012-09-28 11:15:52 AM

blipponaut: I'm in China. Thank you Great Firewall, the ultimate FB killer.


checked in at: Tiananmen Square, WHERE NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED
 
2012-09-28 11:16:13 AM
Maybe this site can add social networking, and call it FaceFark.
 
2012-09-28 11:16:41 AM

WhippingBoy: I know that only about 10% of you will respond to my comment (those that actually care about me), but I'm going to post it anyway...


So far your prediction of 10% seems a little optimistic. But hey, the thread is still open.
 
2012-09-28 11:16:56 AM
The whole fb problem is this: women should not be allowed to use the Internet, except maybe to shop and get recipes and then only after their chores are done and their man has been serviced. It's not fb's fault. It's women.
 
2012-09-28 11:17:02 AM
when it comes to facebook, big bowl of don't care.
 
2012-09-28 11:17:42 AM

mama2tnt: j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

j__z: Think I'd 'defriend' the person in real life if they made a bid deal about me not seeing something on FB.

Has it been said enough yet?


Hopefully now it has.

Yeah if I had a friend get miffed at me over missing something on FB, I'd literally laugh in their face and tell them to get a life and/or grow the fark up. Pick up a farking phone if it's that important; if you can't be bothered to tell me directly, then it must not be sooooo important for me to know about it that you're going to get ticked off at me for not knowing.
 
2012-09-28 11:20:43 AM
Didn't read the article.. Facebook doesn't display every post/status update from every member to/from every member. They use "edgerank," software that shares more of your posts with more followers who "like" your shiat, share it, etc.
 
2012-09-28 11:20:45 AM

markfara: Facebook "friendships" are not real. That is all.


Facebook is where I post funny shiat to make people laugh, who I may or may not know. And where I read other's funny shiat.

Keep the drama offline.
 
2012-09-28 11:21:04 AM
If people are "going out of their way" to get a hold of someone to inform them that they're not getting important information, then maybe there is something in the way....
 
2012-09-28 11:21:38 AM

2KanZam: I do not have a FB account and never have...

A few years back was my HS 10 year reunion, the only invites, announcements, schedules etc. were disseminated via FB.

They thought I was dead since I didn't have an account.

/Maybe they just hoped


As a serious note, I am Senior Class President of my high school... While we had four officers in high school, the other three have decided they want nothing to do with reunions, meaning I have to plan a location, book hotels, book food, etc. In addition, I have to track down everyone I possibly can.

This is hard, and I get very little to no thanks for doing it.

I started with a web page and yahoo group years ago, but then people started changing their email addresses and not updating them in the group. I tried tracking them down through their friends and was able to get a few of them back. Then facebook came along... so I started contacting them through a facebook group as well (this seemed to be easier as a lot of people use facebook constantly, and they do the tracking for me).

Even with this, I still try to keep track of the 237 people that are associated with our class.. Which means, every five years I get out my cell phone and start tracking down those I can't find.

Every farking reunion some dipshiat complains that they didn't see the invites because no one contacted them, even though I start contacting people months in advance.

Get on facebook. Just create a profile and attach one or two friends who keep up with your class if you want to go to the reunion. I *personally* log in maybe *once* a year to check facebook messages as I too think it's stupid.

But hey, if you can honestly think of another way for one person to track 237 people over 15 years (quite a few I don't like, but I make sure they get invited too), I'd love to hear it.
 
2012-09-28 11:21:49 AM
I don't read any articles until one of my friends posts it and it becomes Facebook official. Unless something is Facebook official, it's just not worth my time. How you people can waste your lives on things that aren't Facebook official is just beyond me.
 
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