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(Deadspin)   Never send your sports reporter into a Texas Rangers' crowd without a five-second audio delay (language Not safe for work)   (deadspin.com) divider line 42
    More: Obvious, The Sports Reporters  
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1147 clicks; posted to Sports » on 28 Sep 2012 at 11:03 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-28 11:11:39 AM  
Oh we got farkin' trouble, right here in River City.
 
2012-09-28 11:20:49 AM  
Yeah, right. Because when I think of badass, rough and tough stadiums with hostile crowds where visitors should fear to tread, the Ballpark at Arlington is at the top of my list.
 
2012-09-28 11:21:31 AM  
 
2012-09-28 11:24:10 AM  

mjohnson71: Yeah, right. Because when I think of badass, rough and tough stadiums with hostile crowds where visitors should fear to tread, the Ballpark at Arlington is at the top of my list.


After fighting traffic and parking for 3 hours to get to the place, nobody cares anymore they just want a beer
 
2012-09-28 11:33:58 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: mjohnson71: Yeah, right. Because when I think of badass, rough and tough stadiums with hostile crowds where visitors should fear to tread, the Ballpark at Arlington is at the top of my list.

After fighting traffic and parking for 3 hours to get to the place, nobody cares anymore they just want a beer


I am amazed at how truly bad the traffic is around the stadiums in Arlington. Even an early season weeknight Rangers game with a 1/3rd filled ballpark still results in a major traffic cluster-fark. Then again, all you DFW residents deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.
 
2012-09-28 11:39:44 AM  

mjohnson71: Peter von Nostrand: mjohnson71: Yeah, right. Because when I think of badass, rough and tough stadiums with hostile crowds where visitors should fear to tread, the Ballpark at Arlington is at the top of my list.

After fighting traffic and parking for 3 hours to get to the place, nobody cares anymore they just want a beer

I am amazed at how truly bad the traffic is around the stadiums in Arlington. Even an early season weeknight Rangers game with a 1/3rd filled ballpark still results in a major traffic cluster-fark. Then again, all you DFW residents deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.


The team owners prefer parking revenue to ease of access.
 
2012-09-28 11:45:37 AM  
She's all jacked up on Pibb Xtra and Shiner Bock.
 
2012-09-28 12:00:24 PM  
What's a sports reporter doing in Dallas anyway?
 
2012-09-28 12:01:36 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: After fighting traffic and parking for 3 hours to get to the place, nobody cares anymore they just want a beer


mjohnson71: I am amazed at how truly bad the traffic is around the stadiums in Arlington. Even an early season weeknight Rangers game with a 1/3rd filled ballpark still results in a major traffic cluster-fark. Then again, all you DFW residents deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.


Not sure what you two are whining about. I've been to multiple playoff games at the Ballpark the past two years, and the traffic has never been a real issue.
 
2012-09-28 12:44:09 PM  

mjohnson71: Then again, all you DFW residents Arlington voters deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.


Yeah, let's make sure you've got the real culprit here. City of Arlington tried to get some public transport in place in time for the Super Bowl, but the voters weren't real keen on another tax hike, considering how much they'd already chipped in on the Death Star. Can't say I really blame 'em.


Uncle Pooky: Not sure what you two are whining about. I've been to multiple playoff games at the Ballpark the past two years, and the traffic has never been a real issue.


Went to a game two weeks ago. Saturday night. No traffic & parking was a breeze. It maybe took me an hour total & we were coming in from Denton.
 
2012-09-28 12:59:34 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Peter von Nostrand: After fighting traffic and parking for 3 hours to get to the place, nobody cares anymore they just want a beer

mjohnson71: I am amazed at how truly bad the traffic is around the stadiums in Arlington. Even an early season weeknight Rangers game with a 1/3rd filled ballpark still results in a major traffic cluster-fark. Then again, all you DFW residents deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.

Not sure what you two are whining about. I've been to multiple playoff games at the Ballpark the past two years, and the traffic has never been a real issue.


Well, that settles that. Traffic isn't a problem
 
2012-09-28 01:17:29 PM  
Jim Knox is by far my favorite sideline/crowd reporter. He finds the craziest people.

30fps.mocksession.com
30fps.mocksession.com
30fps.mocksession.com
30fps.mocksession.com
30fps.mocksession.com
30fps.mocksession.com
 
2012-09-28 01:20:51 PM  

Di Atribe: mjohnson71: Then again, all you DFW residents Arlington voters deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.

Yeah, let's make sure you've got the real culprit here. City of Arlington tried to get some public transport in place in time for the Super Bowl, but the voters weren't real keen on another tax hike, considering how much they'd already chipped in on the Death Star. Can't say I really blame 'em.


Uncle Pooky: Not sure what you two are whining about. I've been to multiple playoff games at the Ballpark the past two years, and the traffic has never been a real issue.

Went to a game two weeks ago. Saturday night. No traffic & parking was a breeze. It maybe took me an hour total & we were coming in from Denton.


Sure, but were you driving 120 MPH?
 
2012-09-28 01:23:18 PM  
Sweet, more "fleeting expletive" litigation on the horizon for Fox.
 
2012-09-28 01:35:57 PM  

bubbaprog: Jim Knox is by far my favorite sideline/crowd reporter. He finds the craziest people.

[30fps.mocksession.com image 640x360]
[30fps.mocksession.com image 850x478]
[30fps.mocksession.com image 850x478]
[30fps.mocksession.com image 850x478]
[30fps.mocksession.com image 850x478]
[30fps.mocksession.com image 850x478]


The second guy looks like the creepy Selena Gomez guy.
 
2012-09-28 02:21:41 PM  

Babboonrash: Sure, but were you driving 120 MPH?


Not with babygirl in the car with me. 35 -> 161 -> 30 -> 360 -> Ballpark. It's just that I'm really that good.
 
2012-09-28 02:56:35 PM  

Babboonrash: Di Atribe: mjohnson71: **snip**

Sure, but were you driving 120 MPH?


You do have to drive it like you stole it if you're going to The Temple from your & my neck of the woods (Trophy Club resident, here.... Howdy neighbor!)

Either that or leave way early so you have time to get through that epic mess of construction that's going on around the airport there on 114.

Heading in from Denton? Not so much.

Our kiddos recently played a game over at the Rangers Youth Ballpark (really cool experience for the kids to play there) & it only took us about 30 minutes each way. But, there was no Cowboy game going on at the time, which helped a ton.

mjohnson71: Peter von Nostrand: mjohnson71: **snip**

I am amazed at how truly bad the traffic is around the stadiums in Arlington. Even an early season weeknight Rangers game with a 1/3rd filled ballpark still results in a major traffic cluster-fark. Then again, all you DFW residents deserve that for having absolutely zero public transport options to those venues.


It's really not bad at all, provided you know where you're going & what you're doing.
 
2012-09-28 02:59:03 PM  

mjohnson71: Yeah, right. Because when I think of badass, rough and tough stadiums with hostile crowds where visitors should fear to tread, the Ballpark at Arlington is at the top of my list.


lulz...
 
2012-09-28 03:06:20 PM  

4NTLRZ: Either that or leave way early so you have time to get through that epic mess of construction that's going on around the airport there on 114.


What's the name of that road that goes by Grapevine Mills and Great Wolf Lodge? 26? I don't live out that way, so I'm not THAT familiar with the area, but I do go to Copeland's in Southlake from time to time.

It's a great shortcut around the airport mess. Fark the Airport.
 
2012-09-28 03:28:34 PM  

Slow To Return: 4NTLRZ: Either that or leave way early so you have time to get through that epic mess of construction that's going on around the airport there on 114.

What's the name of that road that goes by Grapevine Mills and Great Wolf Lodge? 26? I don't live out that way, so I'm not THAT familiar with the area, but I do go to Copeland's in Southlake from time to time.

It's a great shortcut around the airport mess. Fark the Airport.


Drive through that airport area construction crap with a GPS unit that has a 3 year old map and watch it freak out. I actually think I heard the GPS unit cry and beg for mercy.
 
2012-09-28 03:44:57 PM  

mjohnson71: Drive through that airport area construction crap with a GPS unit that has a 3 year old map and watch it freak out. I actually think I heard the GPS unit cry and beg for mercy.


ROFL

Even the guys that work the toll booths at the airport don't even know how to get in and out of the airport.
 
2012-09-28 04:07:20 PM  

Slow To Return: 4NTLRZ: What's the name of that road that goes by Grapevine Mills and Great Wolf Lodge? 26? I don't live out that way, so I'm not THAT familiar with the area, but I do go to Copeland's in Southlake from time to time.

It's a great shortcut around the airport mess. Fark the Airport.


Yup. 26 in Grapevine is the one. It's really the only "shortcut" around that steaming bucket of f*ck. Problem is, lots of people are onto it now & it can take a while to get through with the trffic lights & alll. Still, it's better than dealing with construction hell.

mjohnson71: Slow To Return: 4NTLRZ: Drive through that airport area construction crap with a GPS unit that has a 3 year old map and watch it freak out. I actually think I heard the GPS unit cry and beg for mercy.


shiat, I think you could have a new one and it'd still freak. They change the chicanery daily it seems. Unless you drive it every day (and even then it can still be confusing as hell), you're gonna eventually miss an exchange and get turned around at some point. If you're not familiar with it? Well.... you're pretty much f*cked.

Slow To Return: mjohnson71: ROFL

Even the guys that work the toll booths at the airport don't even know how to get in and out of the airport.


They know. It's just that they can't tell you because they don't fuggin' speak English.
 
2012-09-28 04:16:53 PM  

4NTLRZ: they don't fuggin' speak English.


LOL racism from a texan in a thread about baseball, so farking sad.
 
2012-09-28 04:20:46 PM  

4NTLRZ: shiat, I think you could have a new one and it'd still freak. They change the chicanery daily it seems. Unless you drive it every day (and even then it can still be confusing as hell), you're gonna eventually miss an exchange and get turned around at some point. If you're not familiar with it? Well.... you're pretty much f*cked.


Every time I drive down that way, it's different. I'm super-stoked that they're finally getting it fixed, but..... well.... "steaming bucket of f*uck" is the most apt description of it that I've seen.
 
2012-09-28 04:56:13 PM  

Super Chronic: Sweet, more "fleeting expletive" litigation on the horizon for Fox.


It was on cable.
 
2012-09-28 05:13:13 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: they don't fuggin' speak English.

LOL racism from a texan in a thread about baseball, so farking sad.


Oh, you little simpleton. You obviously can't define racism, can you?

If you could, you'd see that I made no remarks about race at all. I said, "they can't tell you because they don't fuggin' speak English." This is a concept not at all different from your very limited vocabulary, which you have so eloquently put on display.

And parsing out part of the post in a feeble attempt to make an invalid accusation is, well.... lame at best, Enema-Nozzle.

Ya' know what? You really should look up the word & know its meaning before using it incorrectly and displaying what a dumbass you are for all of Fark to behold.

Serious question, were you born this stupid or have you been toiling away at it your whole life?

Protip: It's often better to sit quietly and give the impression of ignorance and/or stupidity, as opposed to opening your mouth and removing all doubt. 

But keep typing. Your small-mindedness is always good for a laugh & your profile says it all. Run along now, the adults are talking.
 
2012-09-28 05:21:41 PM  

Di Atribe: 4NTLRZ: shiat, I think you could have a new one and it'd still freak. They change the chicanery daily it seems. Unless you drive it every day (and even then it can still be confusing as hell), you're gonna eventually miss an exchange and get turned around at some point. If you're not familiar with it? Well.... you're pretty much f*cked.

Every time I drive down that way, it's different. I'm super-stoked that they're finally getting it fixed, but..... well.... "steaming bucket of f*uck" is the most apt description of it that I've seen.


For real! My folks make the usual weekend trek from Plano to Trophy Club for their grandsons' baseball games, football games, wrestling matches, etc... and they'll go all the way up to Denton and down 35-W to come in from the Speedway in order to avoid it.

They essentially turn a 40 mile trip into a 60 mile trip, but save 20 minutes (of sitting in traffic and/or getting lost/turned around) in the process.

/Insane!
//Old people! 
///Construction!
 
2012-09-28 05:29:33 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: they don't fuggin' speak English.

LOL racism from a texan who wishes people would learn to speak English before they immigrate to the US in a thread about baseball a chick who dropped an F-bomb on television, so farking sad the English language and reading comprehension are hard.

 

-FTFY
 
2012-09-28 05:30:46 PM  

4NTLRZ: Oh, you little simpleton. You obviously can't blah blah blah, self righteous and long winded bullshiat



That was an awful lot of typing to not really say shiat. I know pumpkin, it would be so great if all them damn furriners would just nut up and SPEAK MURRICAN like the constitution says so, right?

But good farking god you are one pompous twat. It's funny how you put so much effort into being eloquent, and still didn't manage to say a farkin intelligent thing.

Because of course you meant all those white Christian people who can't speak english, huh ya racist farking coont.
 
2012-09-28 05:56:51 PM  

bel4sucks: That was an awful lot of typing to not really say shiat. I know pumpkin, it would be so great if all them damn furriners would just nut up and SPEAK MURRICAN like the constitution says so, right?

But good farking god you are one pompous twat. It's funny how you put so much effort into being eloquent, and still didn't manage to say a farkin intelligent thing.

Because of course you meant all those white Christian people who can't speak english, huh ya racist farking coont.


Just because a person is aware of the fact that a good portion of the Dallas-area population don't speak English doesn't make that person a racist.

It makes that person aware of the fact that a good portion of the Dallas-area population don't speak English.
 
2012-09-28 05:58:18 PM  
"portion ... doesn't"

In case you wanted to point out MY inability to speak English....
 
2012-09-28 06:09:45 PM  

Slow To Return: Just because a person is aware of the fact that a good portion of the Dallas-area population don't speak English doesn't make that person a racist.


Except that the biatch wasn't talking about "the dallas-area" but specifically toll booth operators. Then goes on (because apparently replying to one post needs two of them) to say "who wishes people would learn to speak English before they immigrate to the US

It's a racist thing to imply that all people who come to this country need to speak english other than their native tongue, especially since the US has no official language. Sorry, you can sugar coat it all you want. If this is what "the adults speaking" is like, then hopefully that generation dies off soon.
 
2012-09-28 06:12:30 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: That was an awful lot of typing to not really say shiat. I know pumpkin, it would be so great if all them damn furriners would just nut up and SPEAK MURRICAN like the constitution says so, right?

But good farking god you are one pompous twat. It's funny how you put so much effort into being eloquent, and still didn't manage to say a farkin intelligent thing.

Because of course you meant all those white Christian people who can't speak english, huh ya racist farking coont.


This apprently is no act. You really are a moron, aren't you?

Were you spitting all over your monitor while you were typing up that?
Do you feel better now that you've gotten all that out of your undereducated, little system?
Good.

I said plenty, although it seems most of it went way over your head. That doesn't surprise me. And it sounds like you need to read up on the Constitution. It doesn't seem that you know much about that either.

Here dumbass, I'll spell it out for you since you're unable to connect the dots.

I couldn't care less about the color of a person's skin. I wasn't raised that way. And unlike you, I wasn't raised to be functionally (and I use that term very loosely) illiterate. People should learn the native language before moving to a foreign country. For that matter, people should at least learn enough of the language to get by before even traveling to a foreign country. I do & I have, where travel is concerned. It's called showing respect for the host country's culture & way of life. A concept that's apparently lost on you, because you seem to confuse it with racism. In your case, maybe we should start with a solid understanding of your own native tongue.

Again, look up the word and get back to me when you know what it means. Then learn to use it correctly. That way you might come across as something other than a complete and total dipshiat. But you'll eventually say something else and out yourself.

Outside of this, I really don't know that I can help you. You might want to see a professional. And maybe an English and History teacher for your vocabulary and Constitutional needs, respectively.

However, feel free to let me know any time you're in Texas.
 
2012-09-28 06:22:25 PM  

4NTLRZ: This apprently is no act. You really are a moro blah blah blah, yet another self serving rant


Ya know, it's kinda funny. You put sooo much effort into these posts, but it's a sign of respect because you know that I'll understand it. I speak a different way to you because I realize I'm dealing with a moron, and want my point to get to you clearly.

People should learn the native language

Sooo, I'm the moron but you're the one that thinks English is the native language of the United States. I hate to repeat myself, but there is no official language of the US, dumbfark texan.

BTW, I live in texas. So I tell ya what, why don't you hop on 35 and exit on 28th street, turn towards the Shamrock Motel. Then stop at any establishment and clearly explain your position that everyone who moves here should speak the "native language". Since you're not at all racist, I'm sure it'll go over well.

But it is Friday night, you've probably got a cross burning to go to. Or is tonight the night you and your friends chain an old black guy to your pickup and drag him to death behind it.

Hell I have an EVEN BETTER idea! Why don't you take that cheery disposition and go down to one of the hundreds of ESL night classes there are just in the DFW area, and explain to those people who moved here and are trying to learn English that they should have done it before they dared move to your precious country. Douchebag.
 
2012-09-28 07:28:08 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: This apprently is no act. You really are a moro blah blah blah, yet another self serving rant

Ya know, it's kinda funny. You put sooo much effort into these posts, but it's a sign of respect because you know that I'll understand it. I speak a different way to you because I realize I'm dealing with a moron, and want my point to get to you clearly.

People should learn the native language

Sooo, I'm the moron but you're the one that thinks English is the native language of the United States. I hate to repeat myself, but there is no official language of the US, dumbfark texan.

BTW, I live in texas. So I tell ya what, why don't you hop on 35 and exit on 28th street, turn towards the Shamrock Motel. Then stop at any establishment and clearly explain your position that everyone who moves here should speak the "native language". Since you're not at all racist, I'm sure it'll go over well.

But it is Friday night, you've probably got a cross burning to go to. Or is tonight the night you and your friends chain an old black guy to your pickup and drag him to death behind it.

Hell I have an EVEN BETTER idea! Why don't you take that cheery disposition and go down to one of the hundreds of ESL night classes there are just in the DFW area, and explain to those people who moved here and are trying to learn English that they should have done it before they dared move to your precious country. Douchebag.


Come on down, you might get hurt falling off of that high horse.
 
2012-09-28 07:30:27 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: This apprently is no act. You really are a moro blah blah blah, yet another self serving rant

Ya know, it's kinda funny. You put sooo much effort into these posts, but it's a sign of respect because you know that I'll understand it. I speak a different way to you because I realize I'm dealing with a moron, and want my point to get to you clearly.

People should learn the native language

Sooo, I'm the moron but you're the one that thinks English is the native language of the United States. I hate to repeat myself, but there is no official language of the US, dumbfark texan.

BTW, I live in texas. So I tell ya what, why don't you hop on 35 and exit on 28th street, turn towards the Shamrock Motel. Then stop at any establishment and clearly explain your position that everyone who moves here should speak the "native language". Since you're not at all racist, I'm sure it'll go over well.

But it is Friday night, you've probably got a cross burning to go to. Or is tonight the night you and your friends chain an old black guy to your pickup and drag him to death behind it.

Hell I have an EVEN BETTER idea! Why don't you take that cheery disposition and go down to one of the hundreds of ESL night classes there are just in the DFW area, and explain to those people who moved here and are trying to learn English that they should have done it before they dared move to your precious country. Douchebag.


I'm not white, so I'm getting a real kick out of your stupid ass.
 
2012-09-28 08:05:09 PM  
Hey guys! What's goin' on in this.. oh dear.
 
2012-09-29 11:37:57 PM  

4NTLRZ: I'm not white, so I'm getting a real kick out of your stupid ass.


No one ever called you white dumbfark texan.
 
2012-10-01 12:00:02 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Well, that settles that. Traffic isn't a problem


Well...

4NTLRZ: It's really not bad at all, provided you know where you're going & what you're doing.


I think I may have discovered the problem.
 
2012-10-01 06:14:47 PM  

bel4sucks: 4NTLRZ: I'm not white, so I'm getting a real kick out of your stupid ass.

No one ever called you white dumbfark texan.


So you just naturally project stereotypes such as crossburning & dragging a black man to death on someone who isn't white? Because those are acts historically perpetrated by non-whites, right? Ass-clown.

Yep. I think I've got your stupid ass pegged. But feel free to keep on posting so everyone else can see what a mental midget you are. 

Another protip for you. It's called "The first rule of the hole." When you find yourself in one, stop diggin'.
 
2012-10-01 06:18:40 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Peter von Nostrand: Well, that settles that. Traffic isn't a problem

Well...

4NTLRZ: It's really not bad at all, provided you know where you're going & what you're doing.

I think I may have discovered the problem.


Guess there's a little bit of "Captain Obvious to the rescue" there, huh?

Magic #1! (essentially)

/Claws & antlers dropping on 'em tonight?
 
2012-10-01 06:51:03 PM  

4NTLRZ: So you just naturally project stereotypes such as crossburning & dragging a black man to death on someone who isn't white? Because those are acts historically perpetrated by non-whites, right? Ass-clown.

Yep. I think I've got your stupid ass pegged. But feel free to keep on posting so everyone else can see what a mental midget you are. 

Another protip for you. It's called "The first rule of the hole." When you find yourself in one, stop diggin'.


You still cryin in here coont? It's been a few days, I guess the truth really does dig deep. You're a racist farkin twat, but it is funny how you try to appear smart by hiding behind eloquence. But like most dumbfark fake ass intellectuals on this site, you need to have it pointed out that eloquence doesn't equal intelligence. It's too funny how you keep using the term "protip", like you're a professional at anything other than being a dumbfark texicoont. I've got my own protip for you biatch, You'd make the world a better place by taking yourself out of it, so swallow a shotgun barrel .

LOL I found something for you too, you should make it a ringtone

You come into this country
You can't get real jobs
Boats and boats and boats of you
Go home you farkin' slobs
Selling hot dogs on the corner
Selling papers in the street
Pushing, pulling, digging, sweating
Where you come from must be beat

[CHORUS]
You always make us wait
You're the ones we hate
You can't communicate
Speak English Or Die

You don't know what I want
You don't know what I need
Why must I repeat myself
Can't you farkin' read?
Nice farkin' accents
Why can't you speak like me
What's that dot on you head,
Do you use it to see?? 

Seen Kyle dipshiat?
 
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