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(CNN)   Mitt Romney to be crushed by President Obama at Wednesday's debate, says memo issued by Romney campaign   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 371
    More: Strange, John McCain  
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7239 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Sep 2012 at 3:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-27 10:50:24 PM
And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...
 
2012-09-27 11:00:54 PM
I was informed that Obama cannot function without a teleprompter. So wait - now we're saying that Obama ISN'T the Bumbler in Chief? Wow, that's sure to confuse no one.
 
2012-09-27 11:11:00 PM
So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?
 
2012-09-27 11:31:43 PM
Lowering expectations is all well and good, but this is ridiculous. By all accounts, if Romney does not decisively win this debate, his campaign is effectively over. Getting your ass kicked and saying "well we expected that" is not going to cut it, Bub.
 
2012-09-27 11:43:12 PM

gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...


I'm sure they will turn around 360 degrees!
 
2012-09-27 11:45:41 PM
I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.
 
2012-09-27 11:45:55 PM

gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...


Circling the drain is, technically, turning around
 
2012-09-27 11:59:42 PM

teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?


That would be exactly what they are going for, yes.
 
2012-09-28 12:01:22 AM
FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?
 
2012-09-28 12:01:32 AM
I'm so confused by Republican messaging on Obama.

He's incompetent, then he's so competent Romney fully expects to get his ass kicked by him.

Militant black Christian
Muslim
Atheist
Communist
Fascist
Socialist
Kenyan
US born conspiracy to cover up CIA connections
Hasn't raised taxes
Will raise your taxes next term though
Needs teleprompter to even form sentence
Will whip your ass in a debate without teleprompter

If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.
 
2012-09-28 12:07:57 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


It'll be more like:

del C:\romney\system32\*.dll

He'll flounder for a while, and then the cached DLLs will automatically re-copy themselves to his home campaign directory, but not before causing unexpected system performance errors and generally wacky responses to input commands.
 
2012-09-28 12:08:51 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


They are trashing expectations as much as possible so as long as Romney only drools for half the debate, he will beat expectations and every single media story will be about how Romney overperformed versus what we expected.
 
2012-09-28 12:09:05 AM
What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?
 
2012-09-28 12:13:03 AM
Will Mitt be wearing his special underwear for the debate?

Depends.
 
2012-09-28 12:13:29 AM
Sooner than later someone will say, in all seriousness, that this is how they're raising expectations on Obama so he will fall short.

YHIHF.
 
2012-09-28 12:14:03 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


It means it's already over. The American people have decided against Mitt Romney. If the debates won't decide the election, it's over.
 
2012-09-28 12:15:00 AM
"Given President Obama's natural gifts and extensive seasoning under the bright lights of the debate stage, this is unsurprising. President Obama is a uniquely gifted speaker, and is widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history."

Damn, make sure you cradle his balls while you're working the shaft.
 
2012-09-28 12:17:20 AM

GAT_00: the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?

They are trashing expectations as much as possible so as long as Romney only drools for half the debate, he will beat expectations and every single media story will be about how Romney overperformed versus what we expected.


And don't forget all those polls showing him losing are just biased. They'll be even more biased after the debates.
 
2012-09-28 12:19:52 AM
At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.
 
2012-09-28 12:32:18 AM
It's like he doesn't even want the job.
 
2012-09-28 12:33:52 AM

WorldCitizen: I'm so confused by Republican messaging on Obama.

He's incompetent, then he's so competent Romney fully expects to get his ass kicked by him.

Militant black Christian
Muslim
Atheist
Communist
Fascist
Socialist
Kenyan
US born conspiracy to cover up CIA connections
Hasn't raised taxes
Will raise your taxes next term though
Needs teleprompter to even form sentence
Will whip your ass in a debate without teleprompter

If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.


You're being a bit unfair, Don't you think? They've yet to waiver from their "the president is near" stance.
 
2012-09-28 12:39:39 AM

brigid_fitch: At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.


i'm not sure Romney is physically capable of telling the truth. even when he's got facts on his side, he tends to distort them.
 
2012-09-28 12:46:32 AM

WorldCitizen: If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.


What for? It's not like the people the GOP is pandering to will check facts or anything.
 
2012-09-28 01:04:28 AM
I love dueling lowered expectations.

"We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."
"President Obama will consider this debate a success if his teleprompter doesn't explode."
 
2012-09-28 01:21:50 AM

Mentat: "We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."


I'm betting this is the only song on Matt Rhoades' iPod.
 
2012-09-28 01:35:56 AM

Mentat: "We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."


We do?
 
2012-09-28 02:12:30 AM
Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?
 
2012-09-28 02:35:49 AM
I don't expect the debates to be anything but a draw for both candidates. Romney is actually pretty good when he is prepared and when he stays on the script. And Obama seems to be pretty good at riffing off-the-cuff as well. Unfortunately for Romney, a draw at this point in the campaign is still a catastrophic loss since he's Walter Mondale-levels of far behind.
 
2012-09-28 02:36:44 AM

DrBenway: Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?


Specifically one-on-one debates.
 
2012-09-28 02:37:04 AM
The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.
 
2012-09-28 03:05:31 AM

fusillade762: DrBenway: Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?

Specifically one-on-one debates.


So Obama's primary debates in '08 against Hillary count, but none of Romney's debates then or this year do, huh? Weird criteria to use, making him out as an inexperienced beginner. If they had any confidence in him at all, they'd be touting how many primary debates he's been through, but no. Bless his heart.
 
2012-09-28 03:06:39 AM

GAT_00: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

That would be exactly what they are going for, yes.


Oh, so the Palin standard.

How sad that the very idea of being mediocre is now considered a win during a debate.
 
2012-09-28 03:10:42 AM
No teleprompter?
 
2012-09-28 03:11:10 AM

Serious Black: I don't expect the debates to be anything but a draw for both candidates. Romney is actually pretty good when he is prepared and when he stays on the script. And Obama seems to be pretty good at riffing off-the-cuff as well. Unfortunately for Romney, a draw at this point in the campaign is still a catastrophic loss since he's Walter Mondale-levels of far behind.



Came here to say this, but with slightly different wording and in my own voice.
 
2012-09-28 03:12:18 AM
Not gonna work. The expectations for Romney are much higher in these debates than they are for Obama. He needs to hit it out of the park and make Obama look like the guy he and his campaign purport him to be- an utter failure. Anything less is a complete loss for Romney.
 
2012-09-28 03:12:31 AM
I read the memo, and I must say that this "Obama" fellow sounds like quite the impressive chap. I would like to vote for someone with those capabilities.
 
2012-09-28 03:13:42 AM

revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?


That's Speaker Boner's job.
 
2012-09-28 03:13:56 AM
The standard applied to Palin/Biden whereby they are declared the winner if they don't accidentally light their podiums on fire doesn't really work for Obama and Romney. People expect those two to actually be pretty good.

At this stage, Obama needs a draw or better, and Biden needs to not say something so shockingly embarrassing that it becomes a scandal. I think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.
 
2012-09-28 03:14:04 AM
This is supposed to be a French Army knife, but I think Myth can use all the accessories

i47.tinypic.com 

to screw himself royally
 
2012-09-28 03:17:06 AM

gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...


It's not like Romney to talk out of both holes.
 
2012-09-28 03:17:25 AM

WorldCitizen: If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.


Damn that Invisible Obama, for he is crafty and cruel.

/I want to see Romney debate an empty chair.
//Please, it'll count as my Christmas present and everything!
 
2012-09-28 03:17:47 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.


I'd probably find it more entertaining if there weren't a slim chance that Romney could actually be elected.
 
2012-09-28 03:18:55 AM

teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?


More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?
 
2012-09-28 03:20:26 AM

shower_in_my_socks: The standard applied to Palin/Biden whereby they are declared the winner if they don't accidentally light their podiums on fire doesn't really work for Obama and Romney. People expect those two to actually be pretty good.

At this stage, Obama needs a draw or better, and Biden needs to not say something so shockingly embarrassing that it becomes a scandal. I think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.


Biden/Ryan. My thoughts exactly.
 
2012-09-28 03:23:14 AM

Rambino: I read the memo, and I must say that this "Obama" fellow sounds like quite the impressive chap. I would like to vote for someone with those capabilities.


This.
 
2012-09-28 03:23:20 AM

brigid_fitch: At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.


Obama's not for letting the Bush tax cuts expire. He's said that raising taxes while the economy is weak would be a bad thing, and he wants to keep the tax cuts for those making less than $250k.

Also: The expiration of the cuts gives Obama negotiating leverage. If there cannot be a compromise, *all* tax cuts expire, which Republicans do not want to happen.
 
2012-09-28 03:25:48 AM

digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?


Oh dear God... my liver never fully recovered from the Biden/Palin debate.

I may just be completely out of my element this year.
 
2012-09-28 03:28:36 AM

Serious Black: I don't expect the debates to be anything but a draw for both candidates. Romney is actually pretty good when he is prepared and when he stays on the script. And Obama seems to be pretty good at riffing off-the-cuff as well. Unfortunately for Romney, a draw at this point in the campaign is still a catastrophic loss since he's Walter Mondale-levels of far behind.


Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.
 
2012-09-28 03:28:39 AM

brigid_fitch: At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.


Romney has run a fact-free campaign; that's not going to change now.
 
2012-09-28 03:28:56 AM

shower_in_my_socks: I think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.


Ryan will challenge Biden to a long-distance race--winner gets the VP job.

Biden will drop trou and immediately win the long race.
 
2012-09-28 03:31:04 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.


1992 was pretty exciting.

"We're ginna open up the hood, see? We're gonna fix it! And raise gas taxes by $0.50 a gallon! I bought an hour's worth of teevee to hold up lots of charts and things, just you wait, in 20 years this crap'll be on Powerpoint and look a lot more impressive! Meet my running mate, Admiral Stockdale, nice guy but GAW DAMN he is *so* not a politician. For a whole 45 minutes durin' that Vee-Pee debate he didn't make a single audible sound! 'Who am I? Why am I here?' FARK ME, Y'all'dum'biatch! YOUER MAH VICE PRESIDENT! SPEAK THE FARK UP!" 

/and I voted for him
 
2012-09-28 03:32:43 AM

sonnyboy11: Not gonna work. The expectations for Romney are much higher in these debates than they are for Obama. He needs to hit it out of the park and make Obama look like the guy he and his campaign purport him to be- an utter failure. Anything less is a complete loss for Romney.


Those aren't "expectations." Sure, that's what he needs, but nobody is expecting him to do that unless they're thoroughly delusional.
 
2012-09-28 03:33:02 AM

r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.


Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?
 
2012-09-28 03:33:31 AM

eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?


Now that would be funny.
 
2012-09-28 03:33:40 AM
It's not surprising that his campaign will lower the bar so much that it will be considered a tie as long as Rmoney's mentally damaged eldest son Bapp doesn't break out of his cage, run out there, and start licking the podium.

Fact is, though, if Mitt doesn't pull off a convincing win, he might as well let the horse stand in for the last debate.
 
2012-09-28 03:34:07 AM
This is what America needs! Someone who goes into a conflict knowing full well he's not up to the task, and is willing to allow his closest staffers to broadcast his shortcomings.
/sheesh
 
2012-09-28 03:35:20 AM

StopLurkListen: brigid_fitch: Obama's not for letting the Bush tax cuts expire. He's said that raising taxes while the economy is weak would be a bad thing, and he wants to keep the tax cuts for those making less than $250k.


I think Obama's plan makes more sense. Those of us in the middle and lower classes are the job creators, no matter what the republicans want you to believe. We spend most are money buying stuff. So we need people to make that stuff, ship that stuff, and sell us that stuff. This creates jobs because it creates demand.

The wealthy are not going to just start hiring people because they got a tax break. They will start hiring people when the market demands it. If there is no demand they end up spending that money on speculative investments that create stupid farking bubbles in our economy. Instead of giving them money and hoping they will hire more people. Let's drive up demand and leave them no choice but to hire people.
 
2012-09-28 03:36:18 AM

eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?


He could hold his own against Obama's humor. Some of Mitt's best friends owned funny black people.
 
2012-09-28 03:38:14 AM
The next two press releases from the Rmoney campaign:

"It's just a flesh wound."

"Alright. We'll call it a draw"
 
2012-09-28 03:38:26 AM
FTFA:."Myers argues that Obama will "use his ample rhetorical gifts and debating experience to one end: attacking Mitt Romney."

No. Obama will use his skills to troll Mitt Romney. Obama will smile as he subtly sticks in the dagger. Especially by saying great things about Romney's father. It will make smoke come out of Romney's ears. If Obama notes George Romney came out against the war in Vietnam, Mitt was protesting for it but didn't go fight in it. If he notes how George Romney rescued jobs at Nash, Kelvinator, Studebaker by consolidating them into American Motors, it highlights Bain's outsourcing. The best troll would be if Obama says he empathizes with Romney being a religious minority because you know, Obama is a racial minority.
 
2012-09-28 03:38:51 AM

stoli n coke: eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?

He could hold his own against Obama's humor. Some of Mitt's best friends owned funny black people.


U.S. Bates?
 
2012-09-28 03:39:35 AM
This isn't quite as entertaining as McCain/Palin. We needed one of the crazy teahadists on the ticket. Romney is the Republican Kerry, but less fun, and Ryan is a pasty dude who spent years telling everyone to read Ayn Rand, and then found out he HATED HER. The GOP ticket is a boring level of meh.
 
2012-09-28 03:42:41 AM

shower_in_my_socks: This isn't quite as entertaining as McCain/Palin. We needed one of the crazy teahadists on the ticket. Romney is the Republican Kerry, but less fun, and Ryan is a pasty dude who spent years telling everyone to read Ayn Rand, and then found out he HATED HER. The GOP ticket is a boring level of meh.


Large parts of the Catholic Church came out against Ryan's budget because it's too Randian. He hates her?
 
2012-09-28 03:42:51 AM

Alphax: stoli n coke: eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?

He could hold his own against Obama's humor. Some of Mitt's best friends owned funny black people.

U.S. Bates?


Of course the U.S. bates. Why do you think internet porn is so popular?
 
2012-09-28 03:50:53 AM

Kevin72: FTFA:."Myers argues that Obama will "use his ample rhetorical gifts and debating experience to one end: attacking Mitt Romney."

No. Obama will use his skills to troll Mitt Romney. Obama will smile as he subtly sticks in the dagger. Especially by saying great things about Romney's father. It will make smoke come out of Romney's ears. If Obama notes George Romney came out against the war in Vietnam, Mitt was protesting for it but didn't go fight in it. If he notes how George Romney rescued jobs at Nash, Kelvinator, Studebaker by consolidating them into American Motors, it highlights Bain's outsourcing. The best troll would be if Obama says he empathizes with Romney being a religious minority because you know, Obama is a racial minority.


Or Obama could always bring up George Romney's stance on candidates releasing tax returns.
 
2012-09-28 03:52:10 AM

stoli n coke: Alphax: stoli n coke: eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?

He could hold his own against Obama's humor. Some of Mitt's best friends owned funny black people.

U.S. Bates?

Of course the U.S. bates. Why do you think internet porn is so popular?


Remember The Toy?
 
2012-09-28 03:55:07 AM
If the West Wing taught me anything, it's that you lower expectations going into a debate, whether or not you're favored to win. Obama would have to pull off a fatality to meet expectations at this point, whereas all Mitt has to do is not foul himself & fall down to look better than expected.
 
2012-09-28 03:57:15 AM

Alphax: stoli n coke: Alphax: stoli n coke: eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?

He could hold his own against Obama's humor. Some of Mitt's best friends owned funny black people.

U.S. Bates?

Of course the U.S. bates. Why do you think internet porn is so popular?

Remember The Toy?


Yes. Funniest movie about slavery since Amistad.
 
2012-09-28 04:04:31 AM
Obama will use his skills to troll Mitt Romney.

Yup, and he'll do it in a friendly, controlled manner. The more the Romneyites scream that Obama's bein' "mean and nasty," the calmer Obama behaves. The more they yell about how "arrogant" he is, the more humble he acts. ("This isn't for me, America, it's for you.")

Romney will be forced to try to convince the electorate that they need him to save them from that bad, evil man who proves his badness and evil by being personable, polite, rational, warm, and funny.

Tall order.
 
2012-09-28 04:05:59 AM
Can we get some ground rules for a debate drinking game? I want to be prepared.
 
2012-09-28 04:08:26 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

Oh dear God... my liver never fully recovered from the Biden/Palin debate.

I may just be completely out of my element this year.


If Romney's smart, he'll actually promote a drinking game that promises to get all players shiatfaced within a few minutes. That way they'll be less likely to remember his performance (assuming it's as bad as the Romney campaign says it will be).

Maybe drink for each uncomfortable laugh and shotgun the current drink if he completely contradicts something he previously said during the same debate?
 
2012-09-28 04:08:39 AM

Rambino: eraser8: r1chard3: Romneys biggest problem in a face to face is that Obama is funny. Obama could make a quip and have the whole room laughing. Romney couldn't do that to save his life.

Oh, God. What if Romney tries to tell a joke?

Now that would be funny.


"...and she said, no he's a piccolo player!"
www.addictinginfo.org
 
2012-09-28 04:08:46 AM

Serious Black: I don't expect the debates to be anything but a draw for both candidates.


I, on the other hand, expect reality to manifest itself.
 
2012-09-28 04:13:05 AM

WorldCitizen: I'm so confused by Republican messaging on Obama.

He's incompetent, then he's so competent Romney fully expects to get his ass kicked by him.

Militant black Christian
Muslim
Atheist
Communist
Fascist
Socialist
Kenyan
US born conspiracy to cover up CIA connections
Hasn't raised taxes
Will raise your taxes next term though
Needs teleprompter to even form sentence
Will whip your ass in a debate without teleprompter

If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.


We live in a place called "reality" where self consistency is a positive and necessary thing.

The GOP lives inside Republican Reality Distortion Field which we can't meaningfully talk about because it is not coherent, self-consistent, or any of the other things necessary for meaningful discussion to occur. When the RRDF is collapsed by the election, the effect is going to be... hilarious.
 
2012-09-28 04:17:33 AM

erik-k: The GOP lives inside Republican Reality Distortion Field which we can't meaningfully talk about because it is not coherent, self-consistent, or any of the other things necessary for meaningful discussion to occur. When the RRDF is collapsed by the election, the effect is going to be... hilarious.


I'm sure the people who create and maintain the RRDF have some awareness of what goes on outside it, and they're privately in a panic about what's to come.
 
2012-09-28 04:21:07 AM

digistil: ecmoRandomNumbers: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

Oh dear God... my liver never fully recovered from the Biden/Palin debate.

I may just be completely out of my element this year.

If Romney's smart, he'll actually promote a drinking game that promises to get all players shiatfaced within a few minutes. That way they'll be less likely to remember his performance (assuming it's as bad as the Romney campaign says it will be).

Maybe drink for each uncomfortable laugh and shotgun the current drink if he completely contradicts something he previously said during the same debate sentence.?

 
2012-09-28 04:25:44 AM
Is Romney trying for a spot in Obama's cabinet now? Dafuq?
 
2012-09-28 04:30:28 AM

intelligent comment below: Can we get some ground rules for a debate drinking game? I want to be prepared.


Obama:
Drink when he says patient/patience
Drink each time he reference's Clinton's DNC speech
Chug once each time he trolls Romney and you get a glimpse of the trollface

Romney:
Drink each time he accuses Obama of raising or wanting to raise taxes
Drink on every mention of the Job Creators
Take a small sip every time he says something absurd (otherwise you'll pass out in about 10 minutes)
 
2012-09-28 04:31:41 AM
Someone needs to make a spoof of this with Rmoney: Link
 
2012-09-28 04:33:58 AM
33 instances of the string "expect" so far.
Makes me want to expectorate.
 
2012-09-28 04:35:15 AM

erik-k: intelligent comment below: Can we get some ground rules for a debate drinking game? I want to be prepared.

Obama:
Drink when he says patient/patience
Drink each time he reference's Clinton's DNC speech
Chug once each time he trolls Romney and you get a glimpse of the trollface

Romney:
Drink each time he accuses Obama of raising or wanting to raise taxes
Drink on every mention of the Job Creators
Take a small sip every time he says something absurd (otherwise you'll pass out in about 10 minutes)


Finish your drink when Romney inadvertently showcases his own wealth, or patronizes poor people.
Take a shot when either one makes an accidental reference to someone's penis size or sexual prowess.
 
2012-09-28 04:37:57 AM
(from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to take a sip, get bored


Topic: Foreign Policy (note: first debate is domestic policy only)
Romney uses Benjamin Netanyahu's nickname "Bibi": one sip, make "bibibibibibibibi" noise with finger and lips
Obama mentions Bin Laden: do a shooter, jump up, yell "BOOM! HEADSHOT!"
Romney says "apology tour": chug beer, boot on carpet, apologize to your host
Obama uses the term "Arab Spring": 1 sip
Romney uses the term "Arab Spring" without the words "Muslim Brotherhood" in the same sentence: 3 sips
Either candidate mentions China in a favorable light: 2 sips
Either candidate mentions China in an unfavorable light: ½ sip

Other:
Either candidate laughs out loud as the other candidate is answering a question: 2 sips
Either candidate smirks with a seriously smartass grin while the other candidate is answering a question: ½ sip
Either candidate mouths the word "no" during the other candidate's answer: 1 sip (limit of 5 per debate)
Moderator loses complete control of the debate: 1 sip
Either candidate completely ignores the question asked, goes to a memorized sound bite that they wanted to make sure they got on camera: 1 sip
Audience boos inappropriately: 1 sip


(thanks dahmers love zombie)
 
2012-09-28 04:42:02 AM

Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to t ...


Awesome!!! TY
 
2012-09-28 04:44:48 AM

Asa Phelps: It's like he doesn't even want the job.


If anyone, for one second, thought that this man was anything other than a sacrificial lamb, you are a fool. He never ever had the intentions or the will to be president. If he does, by some freak of chance, gets elected I will renounce all of my vows to protect this country and relocate to another as all faith in this one will be lost.

/was that freeperish enough?
//half serious.
 
2012-09-28 04:46:37 AM

Serious Black: I don't expect the debates to be anything but a draw for both candidates. Romney is actually pretty good when he is prepared and when he stays on the script. And Obama seems to be pretty good at riffing off-the-cuff as well. Unfortunately for Romney, a draw at this point in the campaign is still a catastrophic loss since he's Walter Mondale-levels of far behind.


Not that I'd ever vote for him, but a draw might actually be an improvement. It would mean Mittens actually explained how he stands on issues and what he has planned. Which is a hell of a lot more than we know now.
 
2012-09-28 04:50:33 AM
Wow. What an inspiring statement from the Romney campaign.

"Our guy is competing to be the next leader of the free world, but cut him some slack because he's a bit green and thick. Obama is the worst president ever, but our guy isn't capable of thinking his way out of a open-topped cardboard box. So you should know we're probably going to get our ass handed to us. But because we announced this beforehand, it automatically means it's a draw and Sarah Palin gets to moderate the next debates and Obama has to apologize before answering any questions."

Still, I'm anticipating Romney will let out a loud, sputtering fart during a long silence or something.
 
2012-09-28 04:53:47 AM
I was out yesterday and ran into a friend I hadn't seen in some time. The talk, as it does at this point because the subject hangs there like a fart in church, turned to politics. I mentioned how the debates were going to be awesome and should be turned into a drinking game at bars nationwide.

Several people passing by overheard this and loved my idea.
 
2012-09-28 04:57:23 AM

shower_in_my_socks: I think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.


Me too, although I think people are kind of underestimating Biden and overstating the likelihood of him staying something stupid during the debates.
 
2012-09-28 04:58:11 AM

Mentat: We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."
."


Someone needs to hack Fox News and put this on the ticker during the debates.
 
2012-09-28 04:59:37 AM

revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?


Won't he rust?!!?!
 
2012-09-28 05:14:04 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.


Until he wins
 
2012-09-28 05:18:12 AM

Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to t ...



i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-28 05:22:06 AM
You think Mitten's handlers might find him a smaller radio? Link
 
2012-09-28 05:24:19 AM
Obama:

th03.deviantart.net

Mittens:

www.minidonks.com
 
2012-09-28 05:26:38 AM

Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
...



i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2012-09-28 05:28:19 AM
They basically said that Romney has facts on his side (bullshiat) but it's an unfair fight because Obama has so much more experience (whine).
 
2012-09-28 05:35:39 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


I predict the fake seizure will be preceded by the use of an antiquated racial epithet of some kind.
 
2012-09-28 05:39:25 AM
Here's the real problem for the GOP - their only talking point is Obama's alleged "failure". Trouble is, to talk about that, they have to talk about what it is that he has supposedly failed to do - namely, fix a mess brought on by the application of their ideologies.
Awkward.
 
2012-09-28 05:43:41 AM

jso2897: Here's the real problem for the GOP - their only talking point is Obama's alleged "failure". Trouble is, to talk about that, they have to talk about what it is that he has supposedly failed to do - namely, fix a mess brought on by the application of their ideologies.
Awkward.



Clinton pointed that out during the DNC, even though it's obvious. But sometimes the obvious needs to be repeated until it sinks in.
 
2012-09-28 05:46:32 AM
a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com


Oh, Magoo! You've done it again!
 
2012-09-28 05:59:19 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


Quick! Someone open a window!

//so looking forward to Rmoney getting biatchslapped repeatedly
 
2012-09-28 06:07:41 AM
Everyone hoping for a "knock our blow" are going to be disappointed. It'll be talking points with, ah but he said befores, thrown in for the pundits. The real damage will be done after the debate. Wait and see.
 
2012-09-28 06:08:49 AM

intelligent comment below: Can we get some ground rules for a debate drinking game? I want to be prepared.


See, I'm using the abridged rules. Before the debate starts, I'm just going to drink a gallon of grain alcohol.
 
2012-09-28 06:10:20 AM
Romney's also had 4 years less experience as president.
 
2012-09-28 06:15:09 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.


They're not trying to win. They know they can't beat Obama. They've known all along. They're using this election to dispose of the losers and the Teahadists so they can field someone who might be able to win in 2016. This is a repeat of 1996. Only Bob Dole was smart enough to know he was sent out to fall on his sword for the good of the Party. Mittens is too stupid to see it and the rest were too insane.
 
2012-09-28 06:18:06 AM

shower_in_my_socks: TI think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.


Well, Biden won't have to softball this one so he doesn't get accused of being a meanie and picking on a girl.
 
2012-09-28 06:21:03 AM
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2012-09-28 06:32:03 AM
The sad thing is that, despite running a brilliant campaign designed to get people not* to vote for him, at least 2/5 of the country is still going to go for Romney.

I used to think we had one party that was evil and one that was incompetent. Now I'm convinced we've got two parties that are incompetent, and the evil people are laughing it up at our lack of choice.

*That is what Romney was trying to do, right? Surely his campaign wasn't designed to attract votes. It must be a world-record attempt for the least number of votes for a mainstream candidate.
 
2012-09-28 06:33:51 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


... thus winning the crucial Epilepto-American vote
 
2012-09-28 06:36:06 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-09-28 06:43:13 AM
The memo in question?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/wp/2012/09/27/romne y -adviser-raises-expectations-for-obama-in-first-debate/
 
2012-09-28 06:45:40 AM
Even the trolls have given up on this "race".
 
2012-09-28 06:47:23 AM
Off topic, but Fark is frequently crashing my work-issue copy of IE 8 these last few days.
 
2012-09-28 06:52:00 AM
Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.
 
2012-09-28 06:53:36 AM

MSFT: Even the trolls have given up on this "race".


Even the trolling headlines have given up.

Although, there are still a couple of turd trolls floating around, but at this point its apparent they just do it for the attention which ruins their stupid characters.
 
2012-09-28 06:57:05 AM
"We fully expect a 90-minute attack ad aimed at tearing down his opponent," she writes in the memo.

OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE 24 MONTH ATTACK AD YOU FARKERS HAVE BEEN CALLING A CAMPAIGN? Motherfarker, high school kids have more integrity.
 
2012-09-28 06:59:18 AM

Big Dave: Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor


Or "make no mistake".
 
2012-09-28 06:59:41 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


They are pre-emptively dismissing the debates as irrelevant. When Romney loses, they can say, "we've been saying for week it doesn't matter."
 
2012-09-28 07:01:14 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


He'll come out on stage, shake hands with Obama, wait for his first opportunity to speak, and then step from behind the podium, pull down his pants, and start weeping softly into his hands. He'll stay like this until Obama is forced to react in some way, whether it's to go over and comfort him, or walk off the stage in disgust. Sympathy vote is the only card he has left to play.
 
2012-09-28 07:02:17 AM

shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


If you want people to engage with your shiatty wharrgarbl, don't open up with such an obvious lie that only teabaggers believe.
 
2012-09-28 07:06:42 AM

jayhawk88: Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.

He'll come out on stage, shake hands with Obama, wait for his first opportunity to speak, and then step from behind the podium, pull down his pants, and start weeping softly into his hands. He'll stay like this until Obama is forced to react in some way, whether it's to go over and comfort him, or walk off the stage in disgust. Sympathy vote is the only card he has left to play.


Obama: "So THAT'S what the magic underwear looks like!"
 
2012-09-28 07:06:53 AM

shotglasss: Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.



He allowed 9/11!

shotglasss: Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices



Why do you hate free markets? You sound like a Socialist


shotglasss: and is regulating energy companies out of business.


I know! I hear they are all going bankrupt!

shotglasss: Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.



That's Romney

shotglasss: Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.



He personally is? That's news to me

shotglasss: Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.



Just trying to be like Bush

shotglasss: Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


He personally spent it all on drugs and clothes for his kids
 
2012-09-28 07:07:05 AM

WorldCitizen: I'm so confused by Republican messaging on Obama.

He's incompetent, then he's so competent Romney fully expects to get his ass kicked by him.

Militant black Christian
Muslim
Atheist
Communist
Fascist
Socialist
Kenyan
US born conspiracy to cover up CIA connections
Hasn't raised taxes
Will raise your taxes next term though
Needs teleprompter to even form sentence
Will whip your ass in a debate without teleprompter

If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.


Why would they start being consistent now, when they have already taken each side of every other issue?
 
2012-09-28 07:12:02 AM

NeverDrunk23: MSFT: Even the trolls have given up on this "race".

Even the trolling headlines have given up.

Although, there are still a couple of turd trolls floating around, but at this point its apparent they just do it for the attention which ruins their stupid characters.


Indeed... Just look at the post above yours.
 
2012-09-28 07:13:40 AM

shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


NeverDrunk23: MSFT: Even the trolls have given up on this "race".

Even the trolling headlines have given up.

Although, there are still a couple of turd trolls floating around, but at this point its apparent they just do it for the attention which ruins their stupid characters.

 
2012-09-28 07:13:48 AM
Can this campaign look any more desperate?
 
2012-09-28 07:15:44 AM

Wyalt Derp: Big Dave: Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor

Or "make no mistake".


Wow. Biting commentary.
 
2012-09-28 07:17:14 AM

shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


1) It's amazing how in the real world you may not have all the answers in the first 5 minutes something happens. And adults will revise their stated opinion when new evidence is provided. That coupled with the rioting that went on in other countries because of said film immediately following the attack supported the first position. But none of this matters to you.
2) "What do ya mean the president doesn't have a high/low lever on his desk for gas prices?!?" I thought conservatives supported free and unregulated markets?
3) President Obama works for Bain now? Whoa....
4) This witch hunt again? I know you guys are desperate to stick something to the President. Well he's had some real failures. Let's go with those instead of making some up.
5) I had to google that one. Feels good to stretch doesn't it?
6) It never ceases to amuse me how right wingers only seem to care about the debt when it's not their guy running it up. But it's an actual legit question. The President has already stated he wants to end the war in Afghanistan and use half the money to pay down the debt and the other half for infrastructure. Now I would prefer some more details but it's a solid a plan as I've heard in a long time. You may disagree thats the way to go, which is fine, but in a manner of speak he's answered this question.
 
2012-09-28 07:18:41 AM

LessO2: Can this campaign look any more desperate?


When Romney's advisors are in back alleys giving sloppy handjobs to fat, pasty conservatives just to secure their votes, then I'll celebrate. Until then, their chance of winning is still too high.
 
2012-09-28 07:19:15 AM

Mugato: Wyalt Derp: Big Dave: Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor

Or "make no mistake".

Wow. Biting commentary.


Hey, now.

Do you want a drinking game to be commentary, or do you want a drinking game to be fun?
 
2012-09-28 07:20:28 AM

James F. Campbell: LessO2: Can this campaign look any more desperate?

When Romney's advisors are in back alleys giving sloppy handjobs to fat, pasty conservatives just to secure their votes, then I'll celebrate. Until then, their chance of winning is still too high.


How do you know that's not happening already?
 
2012-09-28 07:20:47 AM

shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


* yawn *
 
2012-09-28 07:21:44 AM

jayhawk88: "We fully expect a 90-minute attack ad aimed at tearing down his opponent," she writes in the memo.

OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE 24 MONTH ATTACK AD YOU FARKERS HAVE BEEN CALLING A CAMPAIGN? Motherfarker, high school kids have more integrity.



If teenagers ran his campaign, they would totally troll him out there.....wait...maybe they are running his campaign.
 
2012-09-28 07:24:58 AM

eraser8: ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.

I'd probably find it more entertaining if there weren't a slim chance that Romney could actually be elected.


i55.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-28 07:25:48 AM

fusillade762: GAT_00: the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?

They are trashing expectations as much as possible so as long as Romney only drools for half the debate, he will beat expectations and every single media story will be about how Romney overperformed versus what we expected.

And don't forget all those polls showing him losing are just biased. They'll be even more biased after the debates.


i interpreted her remark to mean that Romneys' best hope for votes comes from the crowd that won't watch the debates, don't read news, don't track issues, and, generally, wait for someone else to tell them what to think especially on political issues.
 
2012-09-28 07:30:19 AM

Alphax: How do you know that's not happening already?


They outsourced all the labor overseas to Thailand after Mitt toured a compound that housed Thai ladyboys.

Don't worry, though, once the campaign is done milking its donors, Mitt's advisors will be more than happy to get their hands (and faces) dirty.
 
2012-09-28 07:32:11 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


So you're saying it'll be a draw?
 
2012-09-28 07:32:27 AM

keylock71: NeverDrunk23: MSFT: Even the trolls have given up on this "race".

Even the trolling headlines have given up.

Although, there are still a couple of turd trolls floating around, but at this point its apparent they just do it for the attention which ruins their stupid characters.

Indeed... Just look at the post above yours.


Though he found out the other dat that there IS a line he can cross with his bullshiat account where even the mods can't look the other way. So he'll spew stupidity as usual but now it will be toned down.

Although he probably has six more alts waiting when his latest one gets nuked.
 
2012-09-28 07:37:35 AM
This just in, Mitt Romney's campaign is declared dead by the Church of Latter-Day Saints. Baptism for the campaign has been scheduled for next Monday.
 
2012-09-28 07:44:17 AM
dumbimages.net
 
2012-09-28 07:45:32 AM

Lunaville: fusillade762: GAT_00: the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?

They are trashing expectations as much as possible so as long as Romney only drools for half the debate, he will beat expectations and every single media story will be about how Romney overperformed versus what we expected.

And don't forget all those polls showing him losing are just biased. They'll be even more biased after the debates.

i interpreted her remark to mean that Romneys' best hope for votes comes from the crowd that won't watch the debates, don't read news, don't track issues, and, generally, wait for someone else to tell them what to think especially on political issues.


So.....Romney's best hope is the GOP base?
 
2012-09-28 07:49:56 AM

digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?


My husband and I said that we would drink everytime someone mentioned "Obamacare" or "Romneycare."
 
2012-09-28 07:56:17 AM
I think the day after the debates should be a national day of recovery for everyone.
 
2012-09-28 07:57:15 AM

thamike: [a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 572x342]

Oh, Magoo! You've done it again!


My god, is that stubble? That is really impressive technology!
 
2012-09-28 07:58:50 AM
I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.
 
2012-09-28 07:59:51 AM

FishStampede: eraser8: ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.

I'd probably find it more entertaining if there weren't a slim chance that Romney could actually be elected.

[i55.photobucket.com image 249x522]


Ouch.

Heh, the "now-cast" has Obama at 97.8%. Mittens has a 2% chance to win. Go get'em tiger!

Also looking at a 78.5% chance of Dem senate majority.

Fun times.
 
2012-09-28 08:02:34 AM

johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.


I do not think it's possible for Romney to tell true statements at the debate without undermining himself, and he's been fact free all year anyway. So Romney's going to be torn apart after each one, by any accurate 'fact-checking' outfit.
 
2012-09-28 08:03:01 AM
Yes. Yes. But how is the empty chair expected to perform?
 
2012-09-28 08:03:26 AM
It's amazing how much the story changes when they have to face Obama, the actual man, not the Obama the GOP wants him to be.

Four years of teleprompter jokes have suddenly turned in to fear piss running down their leg.
 
2012-09-28 08:04:21 AM

Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to t ...


I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!
 
2012-09-28 08:05:09 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: Yes. Yes. But how is the empty chair expected to perform?


Well I don't have a platform so much as four good legs to stand on.
 
2012-09-28 08:05:36 AM

johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.


Which is all Obama needs.
 
2012-09-28 08:05:38 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: Yes. Yes. But how is the empty chair expected to perform?


I think that could be a death blow, if Obama walked on staged, set down a chair behind the podium, then walked off.
 
2012-09-28 08:06:15 AM

Ed Grubermann: ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.

They're not trying to win. They know they can't beat Obama. They've known all along. They're using this election to dispose of the losers and the Teahadists so they can field someone who might be able to win in 2016. This is a repeat of 1996. Only Bob Dole was smart enough to know he was sent out to fall on his sword for the good of the Party. Mittens is too stupid to see it and the rest were too insane.


They could have beat Obama easily with the right candidate and platform. He's a highly vulnerable incumbent with a very spotty record.

The rest is true enough: This was really all about putting the mouthbreathers and Jesus freaks in their place and letting them know that the NE money guys still hold the actual reins of power. Look no farther than the shenanigans in Iowa, South Carolina, and anything having to do with Ron Paul for proof.
 
2012-09-28 08:07:17 AM
Here's the rules for my debate drinking game:

Open bottle of Canadian Club when debate starts.
Keep drinking until the debate is over.


I like to keep things simple.
 
2012-09-28 08:07:27 AM

sendtodave: Mittens has a 2% chance to win.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-28 08:08:08 AM
So this is the first thing Romney's campaign hasn't lied about then?
 
2012-09-28 08:09:09 AM

thenewmissus: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

My husband and I said that we would drink everytime someone mentioned "Obamacare" or "Romneycare."


I'm predicting a mental breakdown after Jim Lehrer asks why Romneycare is so similar to Obamacare, to where Romney just starts screaming "ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE! ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE!" over and over for two minutes.

For the sake of your husband's and your liver, I hope I'm wrong.
 
2012-09-28 08:09:33 AM

farkityfarker: johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.

Which is all Obama needs.


Pretty much. Obama could probably pass on every question, let Romney have his time, and still not lose the election.

Nothing is over until it's over (or so John Rambo told me), but it's looking pretty grim for Romney right now.

All open has to do is not make any huge mistakes between now and November.
 
2012-09-28 08:10:46 AM
...and by open, I mean Obama, of course.
 
2012-09-28 08:12:37 AM

thenewmissus: Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to t ...

I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!


Just do Tobasco shots instead. That's what I'm doing.
 
2012-09-28 08:13:45 AM
Meh. Candidates always lower pre-debate expectations. Obama did it last week. It's just an insurance policy against things not going brilliantly. It's hard to slip under a nice low bar.
 
2012-09-28 08:15:38 AM
If Mitt gets pissed I expect he will call him "boy"
Lip readers should be looking for the N-word whispered under his breath.

I wonder if Mitt will be wearing a wire to pump him information like W did?
 
2012-09-28 08:15:47 AM
Note to self: Stock up on beer this weekend. Don't plan any meetings for Thursday morning.
 
2012-09-28 08:18:44 AM
i wonder if romney's earpiece and receiver will be ready in time.
 
2012-09-28 08:19:34 AM

roadkillontheweb: If Mitt gets pissed I expect he will call him "boy"
Lip readers should be looking for the N-word whispered under his breath.

I wonder if Mitt will be wearing a wire to pump him information like W did?


Mitt doesn't need a wire. He is naturally WiFi compatible thanks to the network card in his head.
 
2012-09-28 08:23:04 AM

keylock71: farkityfarker: johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.

Which is all Obama needs.

Pretty much. Obama could probably pass on every question, let Romney have his time, and still not lose the election.

Nothing is over until it's over (or so John Rambo told me), but it's looking pretty grim for Romney right now.

All open has to do is not make any huge mistakes between now and November.



Romney is the Michael Scott of presidential candidates. He will make a mistake and it either be amusing or painful to watch. 


There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians: JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams.
 
2012-09-28 08:27:15 AM

thenewmissus: I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!


Fresca gets you a buzz about as fast as domestic beers.
 
2012-09-28 08:29:08 AM
Just concede already, idiot.

When Republicans start saying positive things about Obama, the cake is well frosted, and the cherry on top is on the way.
 
2012-09-28 08:29:30 AM

ariseatex: thenewmissus: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

My husband and I said that we would drink everytime someone mentioned "Obamacare" or "Romneycare."

I'm predicting a mental breakdown after Jim Lehrer asks why Romneycare is so similar to Obamacare, to where Romney just starts screaming "ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE! ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE!" over and over for two minutes.

For the sake of your husband's and your liver, I hope I'm wrong.



SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
 
2012-09-28 08:31:29 AM
I can't wait for the deluge of 4-panel cartoons that will result from this debate.

i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-28 08:31:31 AM

shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.


i.imgur.com

BECAUSE STINGRAYS, THAT'S WHY!!!
 
2012-09-28 08:32:31 AM

unlikely: Sooner than later someone will say, in all seriousness, that this is how they're raising expectations on Obama so he will fall short.

YHIHF.


Hmmmm.....

I think you might be on to something with that
 
2012-09-28 08:37:15 AM
what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.
 
2012-09-28 08:37:41 AM
Do these "debates" actually sway anybody anymore? Two candidates spouting off scripted answers to pre-vetted questions. And the moment it's over both sides claim they won (except in 08 when the McCain campaign declared victory before the debate even began). The only people either party hasn't already convinced is the slim minority of incredibly-low-information voters who likely only found out this week that there's a presidential election this year. And they aren't going to be watching the debates.
 
2012-09-28 08:39:20 AM

johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.


I'm not sure what Obama gains by wiping the floor with him in the first debate. Or what Romney gets for blowing his load all at once. This first one is traditionally the "how do they look" debate. Can they get up there, answer questions, be respectful to one another, etc. Debate 2 is usually the substantive debate where they respond directly to one another in a more active way and have to be a little sharper. Debate 3 will be a shiat-circus where they will answer twitter questions while spinning plates. As is American Tradition.
 
2012-09-28 08:40:25 AM

Clint Eastwoods Chair: Evil Twin Skippy: Yes. Yes. But how is the empty chair expected to perform?

Well I don't have a platform so much as four good legs to stand on.


'Four legs GOOD, two legs BAD!'
 
2012-09-28 08:40:38 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Do these "debates" actually sway anybody anymore?


I don't see how anyone could be undecided either way by now but since the media has been so soft on Romney, because they want it to be a close race, the debates might be only place where anyone calls him out on his bullshiat. And by someone I mean Obama himself, not the moderator.
 
2012-09-28 08:41:14 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I fully expect Romney to feign a seizure halfway through.


Out of curiousity, what if he actually finally had a full fledged meltdown, lost all capacity for rational thought and was declared incompetent? Would Ryan automatically become the nominee or would they fall back on someone like Gingrich?
 
2012-09-28 08:42:37 AM
The debates don't really function as debates as such. They are a beauty contest. The candidates compete to see who can appear the most assured, confident, smooth, and "Presidential". And, frankly, they are competing on personal charm and physical attractiveness as well.
The first televised debate between Kennedy and Nixon set the tone for all that were to come after. The debate was a catastrophe for Nixon, for reasons that had little to do with the content of his ideas. The debates are about how the candidates "come off" - not about anything they believe, say, or are going to do.
So, seriously - who do y'all think is going to do better?
 
2012-09-28 08:45:37 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Do these "debates" actually sway anybody anymore? Two candidates spouting off scripted answers to pre-vetted questions. And the moment it's over both sides claim they won (except in 08 when the McCain campaign declared victory before the debate even began). The only people either party hasn't already convinced is the slim minority of incredibly-low-information voters who likely only found out this week that there's a presidential election this year. And they aren't going to be watching the debates.


They sway plenty of people who only start paying attention to the election when these debates start. They also have the potential to galvanize or discourage prospective voters if you dramatically under or overperform. Imagine Aunt Mabel and Uncle Ted tuning in to watch That Business Guy wipe the floor with the dumb president who can't do anything right, only to see the business guy fold like a cheap umbrella.

"Let's just stay home and play bridge with the nice couple down the hall."
 
2012-09-28 08:46:28 AM
Obama will play it very safe. The biggest danger is a self-inflicted wound of the "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe" variety.

I mean that as a historical example. It is entirely possible that Obama will be forced to say those exact words in response to a claim by Romney.
 
2012-09-28 08:46:31 AM

Hobodeluxe: what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.


To be fair, the actual memo says, "This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of [Mr. Obama's] political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first."
 
2012-09-28 08:47:20 AM

FishStampede: eraser8: ecmoRandomNumbers: The schadenfreude makes me tingle and gives me the giggles.

Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.

I'd probably find it more entertaining if there weren't a slim chance that Romney could actually be elected.

[i55.photobucket.com image 249x522]


Nothing these guys can't "fix."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premier_Election_Solutions
 
2012-09-28 08:47:26 AM

thenewmissus: I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!


I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old)

Account created: 2012-05-31 08:58:53
Submitted links approved: None

Blatant troll account.
 
kab
2012-09-28 08:48:26 AM
Maybe I'm being ignorant, but I can't see how coming out and saying this ahead of time is a smart move if you're Romney.
 
2012-09-28 08:48:52 AM
The way the debate actually plays out only matters to those people who watch the whole thing. The way the media covers the debate afterwards will matter to the rest. Fox probably already has copy written up talking about how great Romney did in the debates and the others will probably call it down the middle unless Obama really does poorly then that would be something to run with.
 
2012-09-28 08:49:30 AM

Mugato: LouDobbsAwaaaay: Do these "debates" actually sway anybody anymore?

I don't see how anyone could be undecided either way by now but since the media has been so soft on Romney, because they want it to be a close race, the debates might be only place where anyone calls him out on his bullshiat. And by someone I mean Obama himself, not the moderator.


And the media will tack towards calling Obama an aggressive bully for it. They haven't played the "can we really trust an angry black man?" card yet, and there is still time.
 
2012-09-28 08:52:47 AM
I'll drink to that.
 
2012-09-28 08:53:49 AM

cmunic8r99: [dumbimages.net image 391x300]


Thanks. What took you so long? I was expecting this within the Boobiess. Better late than never. ; )
 
2012-09-28 08:54:21 AM

thenewmissus: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

My husband and I said that we would drink everytime someone mentioned "Obamacare" or "Romneycare."


Yikes - he's likely going to need both, along with activated charcoal for his impending alcohol poisoning.
 
2012-09-28 08:54:23 AM

Philip Francis Queeg: Obama will play it very safe. The biggest danger is a self-inflicted wound of the "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe" variety.

I mean that as a historical example. It is entirely possible that Obama will be forced to say those exact words in response to a claim by Romney.


I think the odds of this of Obama needing to say that very sentence are quite high. Especially considering just how bloody often the Romney campaign has referred to the Soviets.

/When the Russians say: "we want this guy to win because he will take relations back to the cold war, when it was simpler" that is a problem.
 
2012-09-28 08:56:11 AM

BeesNuts: Imagine Aunt Mabel and Uncle Ted tuning in to watch That Business Guy wipe the floor with the dumb president who can't do anything right, only to see the business guy fold like a cheap umbrella.


But nobody ever really wipes the floor with anybody, and nobody folds like a cheap umbrella. The GOP primary debates were a real fight (packed with clowns, but still a fight), while these things are basically a chance for Obama and Romney to stand at opposite podiums and read pre-scripted press releases. Both parties are even being given the list of topics ahead of time this year. These events are engineered to minimize the chances than anybody actually says something interesting, poignant, or awkward.
 
2012-09-28 08:56:24 AM
Ladies and Gentlemen before we start this debate if you would please feel under your seat. Yes that's right it's a $50 Mittens buck! AND for the next hour it is good for two plain cheese burgers and a breakfast burrito for our southern brothers at your neighborhood Burger Chef. Oh for you guys watching on TV just say Mittins sent you and you will get a free Frosty Paws or a part time under the table job. And here is a tip: Your money cannot get wet when moving it offshore unless it flies out of the window of the jet. Please leave the windows closed. Think of the money!
 
2012-09-28 09:01:56 AM

Philip Francis Queeg: Obama will play it very safe. The biggest danger is a self-inflicted wound of the "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe" variety.

I mean that as a historical example. It is entirely possible that Obama will be forced to say those exact words in response to a claim by Romney.


I fully expect Romney to say something about China owning our economy and taking all our jobs.
 
2012-09-28 09:02:21 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Hobodeluxe: what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.

To be fair, the actual memo says, "This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of [Mr. Obama's] political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first."


I'm pretty sure that McCain and Obama didn't have 8 one on one debates. if they did I missed about 5 of them.
 
2012-09-28 09:02:30 AM
Lowering expectations is a smart move, usually, but this is ridiculous. The Romney campaign has descended to the point of self-parody.
 
2012-09-28 09:03:58 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: BeesNuts: Imagine Aunt Mabel and Uncle Ted tuning in to watch That Business Guy wipe the floor with the dumb president who can't do anything right, only to see the business guy fold like a cheap umbrella.

But nobody ever really wipes the floor with anybody, and nobody folds like a cheap umbrella. The GOP primary debates were a real fight (packed with clowns, but still a fight), while these things are basically a chance for Obama and Romney to stand at opposite podiums and read pre-scripted press releases. Both parties are even being given the list of topics ahead of time this year. These events are engineered to minimize the chances than anybody actually says something interesting, poignant, or awkward.


This is a great point. We're mostly comparing Obama and Romney's personalities and imagining how they'd do in an all out rapid fire brawl - but the debates will be tightly managed, especially if they have the questions and can simply have them practice their soundbites over and over.
 
2012-09-28 09:04:13 AM

Hobodeluxe: ArcadianRefugee: Hobodeluxe: what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.

To be fair, the actual memo says, "This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of [Mr. Obama's] political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first."

I'm pretty sure that McCain and Obama didn't have 8 one on one debates. if they did I missed about 5 of them.


They must be including debates in the primaries with Hillary.
 
2012-09-28 09:05:05 AM

PanicMan: Philip Francis Queeg: Obama will play it very safe. The biggest danger is a self-inflicted wound of the "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe" variety.

I mean that as a historical example. It is entirely possible that Obama will be forced to say those exact words in response to a claim by Romney.

I fully expect Romney to say something about China owning our economy and taking all our jobs.


followed immediately by Obama asking Romney how much money he's made sending jobs to and investing in China. Also Romney just had a fundraiser in Hong Kong yesterday raising millions.
 
2012-09-28 09:05:09 AM
Obama respected McCain. Hell, Obama respects Cantor and Boehnor. But Obama really, really dislikes Romney on a personal level (as does most everyone who's met him). I do not expect Obama to attempt to hold himself back in his attacks on Romney, particularly with respect to Romney's double-sided mouth and his contempt for anyone less well off than himself
 
2012-09-28 09:07:49 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


She means that the election will be decided by Diebold.

/Corporations are people
 
2012-09-28 09:09:33 AM

kab: Maybe I'm being ignorant, but I can't see how coming out and saying this ahead of time is a smart move if you're Romney.


Considering their strategy so far has been to do whatever Obama is already doing, but fark it up somehow, it's really not surprising that they're trying to out-lower their supporters' standards.
 
2012-09-28 09:09:51 AM

HeartBurnKid: Lowering expectations is a smart move, usually, but this is ridiculous. The Romney campaign has descended to the point of self-parody.


Obama: Gov. Romney has recently participated in several debates and fared quite well. We're looking forward to it.
Clownshoes: Barack Obama makes Cicero look like a drooling retard. We all walk in the garden of his turbulence, and he's definitely going to destroy Romney, but our campaign is doing fine.

Great press release there, Lou.
 
2012-09-28 09:09:51 AM

Solchie: Will Mitt be wearing his special underwear for the debate?

Depends.


I read that in the voice of that aliens guy on the History Channel.
 
2012-09-28 09:10:34 AM

Hobodeluxe: what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.


Man, I'd still kill to see a Pres. or VP debate moderated by Stewart or Colbert. Or both. And Biden on Colbert would be epic.

StrangeQ: Out of curiousity, what if he actually finally had a full fledged meltdown, lost all capacity for rational thought and was declared incompetent? Would Ryan automatically become the nominee or would they fall back on someone like Gingrich?


Can they even do that? I mean, at what point is the nomination locked in / on the ballots no matter what? Does it vary state by state or are there any federal requirements?
 
2012-09-28 09:10:49 AM
I know "lowering expectations" is the norm in these situations but is it really a good idea when you've already lowered them this far?
 
2012-09-28 09:11:07 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


Translation: We're boned.
 
2012-09-28 09:11:52 AM

intelligent comment below: He allowed 9/11!


No, but it happened and rather than assess the intel failures behind why it happened, he blamed it on the maker of some video which had the budget of a public-access car commercial. The attack was clearly orchestrated by professionals. You dont honestly believe than an angry rock throwing mob stormed an embassy with a navy seal security detail do you?

Why do you hate free markets? You sound like a Socialist

Free markets arent contributing to the rise in prices, the Fed devaluing our dollar with 3+ rounds of QE is. More dollars in circulation? Arabs want more of them for the same barrel of oil.

He personally is? That's news to me

Invoking executive privilege to block a house investigation is the very definition of being personally involved in something. you're not very good at this are you?

I know! I hear they are all going bankrupt!

Not yet. Most of them are just passing their costs onto customers which is pretty much what every business does with a tax or cost of compliance.

That's Romney

Thats also Obama. GM is ramping up production and growth of their China plants. Why in the world does GM even have plants abroad? Containerization has slashed the cost of transport in the modern era that you can make your products anywhere in the world if you're within 100mi of a port.

Every GM in the world should be made by a UAW worker in detroit.
 
2012-09-28 09:12:20 AM

ariseatex: thenewmissus: digistil: teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?

More importantly, what are the rules for the inevitable drinking game?

My husband and I said that we would drink everytime someone mentioned "Obamacare" or "Romneycare."

I'm predicting a mental breakdown after Jim Lehrer asks why Romneycare is so similar to Obamacare, to where Romney just starts screaming "ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE! ROMNEYCARE IS NOT OBAMACARE!" over and over for two minutes.

For the sake of your husband's and your liver, I hope I'm wrong.


Somehow I doubt it. Pray for us. Thanks for your concern. See you in the ER. ;)
 
2012-09-28 09:12:59 AM

ariseatex: thenewmissus: Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same M ...


Sounds painful.
 
2012-09-28 09:13:21 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Hobodeluxe: what do they mean he has no debate experience?
the GOP had 139 debates during the primary and they were mostly focused on Mitt.
this is bullshiat
Obama should send out a memo to the press mocking this letter.
have Jon Stewart's people write it.

To be fair, the actual memo says, "This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of [Mr. Obama's] political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first."


Yes, but that number counts some primary debates between him and Hilary, which weren't "presidential" debates any more than any of the primary debates this year. So even when they must lower expectations, they can't help but lie, lie, lie.
 
2012-09-28 09:15:26 AM
Myers argues that Obama will "use his ample rhetorical gifts and debating experience to one end: attacking Mitt Romney."

#1 Nice Projection
#2 It is sad that Myers letter expresses a more clear message than Mitt will be able to accomplish in 90 minutes of speaking.
 
2012-09-28 09:16:26 AM

Satanic_Hamster: thenewmissus: I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!

I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old)

Account created: 2012-05-31 08:58:53
Submitted links approved: None

Blatant troll account.


Well what do ya know. We've got ourselves here a regular Derplock Homes.
 
2012-09-28 09:16:40 AM

MFAWG: They could have beat Obama easily with the right candidate and platform. He's a highly vulnerable incumbent with a very spotty record.


Who, if he were a republican, would be on the $5 bill and Mt. Rushmore for killing bin Laden, pulling the financial sector from the brink, saving GM and implementing a "common sence" healthcare policy.
 
2012-09-28 09:17:07 AM

mamoru: gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...

I'm sure they will turn around 360 degrees!


Iike a death roll as in an alligator with its pray in its jaws. Sounds about right. I'm not letting my kids watch this debate.
 
2012-09-28 09:18:30 AM

revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?


32% on Intrade. Also calling a 22% chance that Romney uses the n-word.

/not really
 
2012-09-28 09:18:59 AM

BeesNuts: johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.

I'm not sure what Obama gains by wiping the floor with him in the first debate. Or what Romney gets for blowing his load all at once. This first one is traditionally the "how do they look" debate. Can they get up there, answer questions, be respectful to one another, etc. Debate 2 is usually the substantive debate where they respond directly to one another in a more active way and have to be a little sharper. Debate 3 will be a shiat-circus where they will answer twitter questions while spinning plates. As is American Tradition.


Very good observation. That pretty much nails it.

+1 internet for you
/golf clap
 
2012-09-28 09:19:09 AM

Wyalt Derp: sendtodave: Mittens has a 2% chance to win.

[i.imgur.com image 553x342]


I'm also getting alot use out of that image lately.
 
2012-09-28 09:19:44 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.


www.fakechineserubberplant.com

Miss me yet?
 
2012-09-28 09:20:19 AM

Satanic_Hamster: thenewmissus: I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!

I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old)

Account created: 2012-05-31 08:58:53
Submitted links approved: None

Blatant troll account.


Nope. Black woman from the south that lives in the north now. My dad was a baptist minister and we never had alcohol in my house. When I finally tried it, I didn't like the taste of it. Nuff said.
 
2012-09-28 09:21:38 AM

o5iiawah: Thats also Obama. GM is ramping up production and growth of their China plants. Why in the world does GM even have plants abroad? Containerization has slashed the cost of transport in the modern era that you can make your products anywhere in the world if you're within 100mi of a port.


They don't ship automobiles in shipping containers.

Every day, thousands upon thousands of new cars are being transported overseas on ships. These carriers are like floating parking garages, only they're way bigger than your average land-based parking garage. Many carry over 4,000 vehicles, some closer to 6,000. As an example, here are the stats for one infamous car carrier, the MV Cougar Ace:

images.myride.com
 
2012-09-28 09:22:05 AM

Big Dave: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules


Perfection.
 
2012-09-28 09:23:56 AM
Again, the "debates" at this point are just about repeating prepared statements that best match the subject at hand.

What I would really like to see is an oddball question thrown in there every now and then that doesn't speak to policy matters, but something more akin to intellectual curiosity.

"Was there ever a time where you looked up on a cloudless night, and spent some time looking at the stars...maybe it was your kids, or with your friends back in school. Can you describe your thoughts or emotions during that time? What did you talk about?"

While I'd like to hope that Romney might be able to answer that question with a story about camping with his kids or something, I get the feeling his response would be "Obama has created a welfare state, we need to lower taxes on job creators."
 
2012-09-28 09:24:53 AM
Fox News will tout a Romney victory just from Romney showing up.
 
2012-09-28 09:27:43 AM
Freepers will call it an unequivocal win for Romney if he doesn't wet himself, kick over his podium and/or call Obama a porch monkey. Bank on it.
 
2012-09-28 09:27:50 AM

Flying Lasagna Monster: ecmoRandomNumbers: Romney -- what a turd of a candidate. This is the most entertaining election of my lifetime.

[www.fakechineserubberplant.com image 396x463]

Miss me yet?


I really don't. Palin was certainly more farktarded, but her handlers were running the show after the Couric interview. Romney isn't having any of that - he's going full retard and nobody is able/willing to stop him.
 
2012-09-28 09:27:55 AM

snowshovel: Again, the "debates" at this point are just about repeating prepared statements that best match the subject at hand.

What I would really like to see is an oddball question thrown in there every now and then that doesn't speak to policy matters, but something more akin to intellectual curiosity.

"Was there ever a time where you looked up on a cloudless night, and spent some time looking at the stars...maybe it was your kids, or with your friends back in school. Can you describe your thoughts or emotions during that time? What did you talk about?"

While I'd like to hope that Romney might be able to answer that question with a story about camping with his kids or something, I get the feeling his response would be "Obama has created a welfare state, we need to lower taxes on job creators."


Romney: I wondered which of those lights were Kolob and which were the planet I would rule over once I die.
 
2012-09-28 09:32:17 AM
That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.
 
2012-09-28 09:32:40 AM
We are lowering expectations by telling them our guy is basically retarded.

Sounds good.
 
2012-09-28 09:32:50 AM

Muta: MFAWG: They could have beat Obama easily with the right candidate and platform. He's a highly vulnerable incumbent with a very spotty record.

Who, if he were a republican, would be on the $5 bill and Mt. Rushmore for killing bin Laden, pulling the financial sector from the brink, saving GM and implementing a "common sence" healthcare policy.


I'm not disputing that, but it shows something that the punditocracy appears to be missing. Obama is using a classic stratergy by actually moving left during an election year as a Democrat facing a (theoretically) moderate Republican.

It's Truman in 1948 all over again.
 
2012-09-28 09:33:00 AM

Hilarity_N_Sues: Freepers will call it an unequivocal win for Romney if he doesn't wet himself, kick over his podium and/or call Obama a porch monkey. Bank on it.


They'd call it a bigger victory if he did.
 
2012-09-28 09:33:25 AM
This is just Mitch Romney's strategy of lowering expectations so much that when he doesn't completely fark the dog people and the press will be saying he won.
 
2012-09-28 09:33:36 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: BeesNuts: Imagine Aunt Mabel and Uncle Ted tuning in to watch That Business Guy wipe the floor with the dumb president who can't do anything right, only to see the business guy fold like a cheap umbrella.

But nobody ever really wipes the floor with anybody, and nobody folds like a cheap umbrella. The GOP primary debates were a real fight (packed with clowns, but still a fight), while these things are basically a chance for Obama and Romney to stand at opposite podiums and read pre-scripted press releases. Both parties are even being given the list of topics ahead of time this year. These events are engineered to minimize the chances than anybody actually says something interesting, poignant, or awkward.


Sure, but have you recently seen how Mitt handles his carefully orchestrated talking points and master planned events in front of hand picked supports?
 
2012-09-28 09:34:09 AM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


chattahbox.com
 
2012-09-28 09:34:13 AM
I love how people try to George Bush their way out of shiat.
 
2012-09-28 09:34:26 AM

incendi: I think that could be a death blow, if Obama walked on staged, set down a chair behind the podium, then walked off.


This is the greatest idea in the history of ideas, and went completely ignored by the thread. How does that happen? Just the image of that -- walking out, setting down the chair, smiling in his charming way, and walking off would be -awesome-. Or maybe add in, "Mr. Romney so frequently contradicts himself, and so regularly misstates facts, that I'm sure you can fill your time just trying to elicit a verifiable, consistent answer from him. Have a nice night, and god bless America."

Of course, I live in an elaborate fantasy world, but, still, the idea is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

Philip Francis Queeg: They don't ship automobiles in shipping containers.


And the parking lots full of new cars waiting to get loaded are quite a sight sometimes.

I sorta understand his sentiment, but I can only think expanding production in China is a -good- thing. It's the largest economy in the world, and a -booming- market for mid- and luxury cars. Hell, even with Detroit going full-steam and growing into a real boom, GM might not have be able to build the capacity to meet the demand China may create in coming years, so I can't -really- blame them for building factories over there.

I will, however, have a problem with GM expanding over there... if they leave the profits off shore and/or start using cheap Chinese labor and materials to build crummier cars to ship here and, in turn, reduce domestic production. But if the company builds profitable overseas production facilities and uses those profits to pay their domestic employees better, improve their domestic product (more profit overseas = lower profit margins required domestically, perhaps? Or even sell some awesome cars at a loss, to build their image, maybe?) or even just to return profits to investors, I'm ok with that.

Interesting problem to have, really, and I'm glad I'm not in charge.
 
2012-09-28 09:37:26 AM
because all the questions will liberal

/fact checkers throwing salt in his game too
 
2012-09-28 09:38:06 AM

Hilarity_N_Sues: Freepers will call it an unequivocal win for Romney if he doesn't wet himself, kick over his podium and/or call Obama a porch monkey. Bank on it.


I call BS! Freepers would give Romney the win even if all he does is walk off the stage after calling Obama a Porch Monkey.
 
2012-09-28 09:40:57 AM

revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?


Oh please, please, please.

/need a good laugh.
 
2012-09-28 09:42:20 AM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: shotglasss: Some things Obama will have time to explain during the debates:

Why he can't figure out that the attacks on our embassies were done by terrorists, and why he didn't get the Americans out of there when he had advance warning of the attacks.
Why he has done nothing to lower the gas and energy prices and is regulating energy companies out of business.
Why he is outsourcing jobs to China.
Why he is hiding Fast and Furious documents.
Why he has criminals in the Cabinet.
Why he has run up more than $5 trillion in debt and how he expects to pay it back.

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

BECAUSE STINGRAYS, THAT'S WHY!!!


A meme with a meme. That's like dividing by zero.
 
2012-09-28 09:45:41 AM
Apparently Obama had some respect for McCain, but has none for Romney; for me, the fun part of the debate will be watching his face for "micro-expressions" of contempt. Having a DVR is great for the slo-mo instant replays of facial expressions and body language.
 
2012-09-28 09:45:48 AM

wingnut396: Sure, but have you recently seen how Mitt handles his carefully orchestrated talking points and master planned events in front of hand picked supports?


imageshack.us
 
2012-09-28 09:46:22 AM

brigid_fitch: At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.


But those facts and figures have improved over the last 4 years... so he really has nothing concrete to use against Obama.
 
2012-09-28 09:47:11 AM
Is this what the Republicans really want in there leader? Lower expectations?
 
2012-09-28 09:47:31 AM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


I have yet to see a single person bite for you. You're the lamest troll on here.
 
2012-09-28 09:50:23 AM

thenewmissus: Nope. Black woman from the south that lives in the north now. My dad was a baptist minister and we never had alcohol in my house. When I finally tried it, I didn't like the taste of it. Nuff said.


That's un-American.
 
2012-09-28 09:51:19 AM

Wooly Bully: Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.

I have yet to see a single person bite for you. You're the lamest troll on here.


That makes him my favorite troll then. Its like when I'm taking the dog out for a shiat and just kinda stares at me and quivers, but nothing comes out.

Its pretty awesome.
 
2012-09-28 09:51:43 AM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-09-28 09:52:26 AM

Hilarity_N_Sues: Freepers will call it an unequivocal win for Romney if he doesn't wet himself, kick over his podium and/or call Obama a porch monkey. Bank on it.


They would call it a victory IF Romney called Obama a porch monkey.
 
2012-09-28 09:52:57 AM

DrBenway: Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?


Ask Clint Eastwood about his empty chair.
 
2012-09-28 09:53:09 AM

PsyLord: Is this what the Republicans really want in there leader? Lower expectations?


They don't want a leader. They want a puppet.
 
2012-09-28 09:53:44 AM

Philip Francis Queeg: o5iiawah: Thats also Obama. GM is ramping up production and growth of their China plants. Why in the world does GM even have plants abroad? Containerization has slashed the cost of transport in the modern era that you can make your products anywhere in the world if you're within 100mi of a port.

They don't ship automobiles in shipping containers.

Every day, thousands upon thousands of new cars are being transported overseas on ships. These carriers are like floating parking garages, only they're way bigger than your average land-based parking garage. Many carry over 4,000 vehicles, some closer to 6,000. As an example, here are the stats for one infamous car carrier, the MV Cougar Ace:

[images.myride.com image 544x408]


containerization refers to the global shipping infrastructure as a whole and not the specific means by which cars are transported.
 
2012-09-28 09:54:35 AM

sprawl15: wingnut396: Sure, but have you recently seen how Mitt handles his carefully orchestrated talking points and master planned events in front of hand picked supports?

[imageshack.us image 315x864]


sweet. I'm so glad this meme is still going and getting. This might be my favourite one so far.
 
2012-09-28 09:54:36 AM

bartink: Wooly Bully: Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.

I have yet to see a single person bite for you. You're the lamest troll on here.

That makes him my favorite troll then. Its like when I'm taking the dog out for a shiat and just kinda stares at me and quivers, but nothing comes out.

Its pretty awesome.


That's a hilarious image and you just killed me.
 
2012-09-28 09:56:39 AM
You mean Gordon Gecko won't make a good presidential candidate?

Who knew?
 
2012-09-28 09:56:58 AM

teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?


The "liberal media" will call it a win in that case - gotta keep those readers & viewers interested.
 
2012-09-28 09:59:22 AM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


Even you dont believe that. Stop it.
 
2012-09-28 09:59:59 AM

thenewmissus: I have drank alcohol a total of 6 times in my entire life (I am 40 years old). If I use the Official Fark Drinking Game, I will die of alcoholic poisoning and my vote will not be counted. I want to use these rules but I can't. OMG. I want to do this soooo badly. But I don't wanna die. Then I would have to go to the emergency room (you know, Romney's version of compassionate care). DRINK!


You can do water or juice.

1. Don't do milk. Seriously. Bad idea.
2. Water poisoning is a thing. Be careful.
 
2012-09-28 10:01:27 AM

o5iiawah: Philip Francis Queeg: o5iiawah: Thats also Obama. GM is ramping up production and growth of their China plants. Why in the world does GM even have plants abroad? Containerization has slashed the cost of transport in the modern era that you can make your products anywhere in the world if you're within 100mi of a port.

They don't ship automobiles in shipping containers.

Every day, thousands upon thousands of new cars are being transported overseas on ships. These carriers are like floating parking garages, only they're way bigger than your average land-based parking garage. Many carry over 4,000 vehicles, some closer to 6,000. As an example, here are the stats for one infamous car carrier, the MV Cougar Ace:

[images.myride.com image 544x408]

containerization refers to the global shipping infrastructure as a whole and not the specific means by which cars are transported.


GM has plants in China for the same reason Japan has plants in the US. It's far easier and cheaper to manufacture and sell vehicles in that particular market than it is to ship them abroad.
 
2012-09-28 10:01:39 AM

mrshowrules: mamoru: gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...

I'm sure they will turn around 360 degrees!

Iike a death roll as in an alligator with its pray in its jaws. Sounds about right. I'm not letting my kids watch this debate.


^^^
This.
 
2012-09-28 10:03:14 AM
www.oilogosphere.com
 
2012-09-28 10:03:49 AM

mrshowrules: sweet. I'm so glad this meme is still going and getting.


I don't know what it is about the idea of Ryan being Romney's sanity check/conscience, but it makes me crack up every time. "The fark are you doing? Really? This is an election, Jesus. At least try."
 
2012-09-28 10:04:26 AM
It's 10am on Freeper Friday, why is Fark so dead right now? Modmins need to knock back a few bloody marys and gbtw!
 
2012-09-28 10:05:51 AM
I'm just at a loss as to whether Romney knows that someone from his campaign released this memo... If he approved it, he's farked. If he didn't, he's doubly farked because the impression is that he doesn't know what his campaign is doing.
 
2012-09-28 10:06:00 AM

cmunic8r99: [dumbimages.net image 391x300]


That's what I get for just skimming the higher comments.
 
2012-09-28 10:08:03 AM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


0/10, fark appreciates subtle trolls...
 
2012-09-28 10:09:56 AM

sprawl15: wingnut396: Sure, but have you recently seen how Mitt handles his carefully orchestrated talking points and master planned events in front of hand picked supports?

[imageshack.us image 315x864]


Jesus. Now I have to figure out how to print that in grayscale and still have it be readable. I could paper my entire office in that.

Which is my way of saying "Funny! Thank you!"
 
2012-09-28 10:11:07 AM

sprawl15: mrshowrules: sweet. I'm so glad this meme is still going and getting.

I don't know what it is about the idea of Ryan being Romney's sanity check/conscience, but it makes me crack up every time. "The fark are you doing? Really? This is an election, Jesus. At least try."


During Eastwood speech:

i.imgur.com

I'm starting to think that Ryan has absolutely no ideology at all and is just a pure political/tactical creature (a la Karl Rove). He's sees the whole thing as a game and every bad play pisses him off. If the GOP would have put Ryan at the top of the ticket, I think he actually would have had a real chance of winning (as horrific as that sounds).
 
2012-09-28 10:11:41 AM

wood0366: I'm just at a loss as to whether Romney knows that someone from his campaign released this memo... If he approved it, he's farked. If he didn't, he's doubly farked because the impression is that he doesn't know what his campaign is doing.


I could see it being intentional because the "compliments" to Obama are back handed. They say that he's a good speaker. He's charismatic and he has more experience. So maybe Obama might do better in the debates, *even though the truth is on Romney's side*. They're setting up for failure but they're making the excuse that Obama is just a sly snake oil salesman.

I'm not saying this is a good strategy but this might be where they're coming from.
 
2012-09-28 10:13:51 AM

teto85: So, if Mitt shiats himself but does not fall down he'll call it a win?


shiatting himself would demonstrate how passionate he is and how upset he is about the plight of Americans. 100% of Americans BTW. He's literally not going to holding it back anymore and no matter how messy it gets, he's not going to fail in his fight for Americans.
 
2012-09-28 10:13:58 AM
What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-09-28 10:14:08 AM

o5iiawah: Philip Francis Queeg: o5iiawah: Thats also Obama. GM is ramping up production and growth of their China plants. Why in the world does GM even have plants abroad? Containerization has slashed the cost of transport in the modern era that you can make your products anywhere in the world if you're within 100mi of a port.

They don't ship automobiles in shipping containers.

Every day, thousands upon thousands of new cars are being transported overseas on ships. These carriers are like floating parking garages, only they're way bigger than your average land-based parking garage. Many carry over 4,000 vehicles, some closer to 6,000. As an example, here are the stats for one infamous car carrier, the MV Cougar Ace:

[images.myride.com image 544x408]

containerization refers to the global shipping infrastructure as a whole and not the specific means by which cars are transported.


No, it doesn't.
 
2012-09-28 10:14:31 AM

Mugato: wood0366: I'm just at a loss as to whether Romney knows that someone from his campaign released this memo... If he approved it, he's farked. If he didn't, he's doubly farked because the impression is that he doesn't know what his campaign is doing.

I could see it being intentional because the "compliments" to Obama are back handed. They say that he's a good speaker. He's charismatic and he has more experience. So maybe Obama might do better in the debates, *even though the truth is on Romney's side*. They're setting up for failure but they're making the excuse that Obama is just a sly snake oil salesman.

I'm not saying this is a good strategy but this might be where they're coming from.


This is what they are setting up: Romney did better than Expected....Obama not as influential as before...etc.
 
2012-09-28 10:17:28 AM

mrshowrules: I'm starting to think that Ryan has absolutely no ideology at all and is just a pure political/tactical creature (a la Karl Rove). He's sees the whole thing as a game and every bad play pisses him off. If the GOP would have put Ryan at the top of the ticket, I think he actually would have had a real chance of winning (as horrific as that sounds).


He always seems to have JUST enough detail to convince anyone giving a cursory look that he knows what he's talking about, but not enough to meaningfully rebut it. "Yes, it's accurate given his assumptions, but his assumptions are insane" "Well, that just means you don't believe in America" etc.
 
2012-09-28 10:18:19 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I can't wait for the deluge of 4-panel cartoons that will result from this debate.

[i47.tinypic.com image 330x934]




IT HAS BEGUN. Awesome.
 
2012-09-28 10:18:42 AM

spelletrader: It's 10am on Freeper Friday, why is Fark so dead right now? Modmins need to knock back a few bloody marys and gbtw!


Townhall authors haven't finished their latest outrage article:

'Obama only uses dimes because they have the smallest printing of 'In God We Trust' and he hates that saying so dimes can hide it from him the best. REAL Americans only use quarters which proudly presents the saying the biggest out of any coin just like our Forefather Jesus wanted.'
 
2012-09-28 10:18:53 AM
I know I want my next leader to be someone worse than the emptiest suit that ever occupied the White House. I mean, if he can't beat the worst President that ever lived, think of what else he can't do! WE CAN'T!
 
2012-09-28 10:19:22 AM
When the debate starts Obama should come out on the stage pushing a kegerator full of beer that was brewed at the White House. He should spend the introductory segment pouring beer for the moderator and important guests - and naturally offer a frosty pint to Mitt, which he will have to decline....
 
2012-09-28 10:21:37 AM

madgonad: When the debate starts Obama should come out on the stage pushing a kegerator full of beer that was brewed at the White House. He should spend the introductory segment pouring beer for the moderator and important guests - and naturally offer a frosty pint to Mitt, which he will have to decline....


Obama should say "pass" a lot and giggle when Romney is talking.
 
2012-09-28 10:21:43 AM
(from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

General rules: Use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely.

Topic: The Economy
Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": 1 sip
Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: 2 sips
Romney uses the word "failed": 1 sip
Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: 2 sips, fire your manservant
Either candidate uses the term "middle-class": ½ a sip
Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor
Romney invokes The Reagan: 2 sips, promptly forget how many sips you took, take 2 more
Either candidate claims that their tax plan will lower the deficit: one sip, yell "YOU LIE"
Either candidate mentions Social Security: Geritol shooter
Romney provides a single tax loophole that he intends to do away with: 3 sips
Romney provides more than one tax loophole that he intends to do away with: chug
Obama uses the term "Ryan Budget": 1 sip

Topic: Domestic Policy
Romney claims credit for RomneyCare: 2 sips
Obama gives Romney effusive credit and compliments for creating RomneyCare: 1 sip, laugh until you pass out and have to be treated in the ER
Romney mentions RomneyCare, but says it's a bad choice for the entire country: 1 sip, stare at TV in the "confused dog" pose
Obama uses the word "abortion": wash down RU-486 with drink
Romney says that corporations are people: 2 sips
Romney talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Obama for cutting the defense budget: 2 sips
Obama talks about government waste within sixty seconds of criticizing Romney for wanting to cut...unspecified stuff: 2 sips
Either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: 2 sips
Romney mentions the $700,000,000,000 in Medicare cuts: take one sip, spit it into another glass
Obama tries to explain the same Medicare cuts: start to t ...


omg the fark debate thread will be a nationwide 911 emergency.

/you better believe I'm gonna be here to watch both lulz
 
2012-09-28 10:22:00 AM

sprawl15: What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]


he got a spray job before his Univision appearance to appear more likable to Latinos.
 
2012-09-28 10:22:39 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: nobody ever really wipes the floor with anybody, and nobody folds like a cheap umbrella.


That's how it will play in the news cycle, yes. As it always has so shall it always be. However, if you come away just plain not liking the guy you've been told over and over is superman incarnate... you might skip voting.

It's like road signs. "Do those signs actually convince anyone?"

No. Hell no. But they target a small group of people who might vote just because the guy seems popular and you like voting for the winner. They might get a couple extra people out to the polls, and particularly, they might vote downticket instead of straight party. If you get 10 votes for putting out signs... that's probably not a bad investment...

The narrative of these debates will be "tie! OMG look how well Romney handled himself!" The real story, though, isn't one of votes gained, but votes lost. These two candidates, in particular Romney, are struggling over a minute segment of the population. The goal on Romney's side *has* to be maintaining the votes he has while discouraging democratic voters. That's it. That's all he can do. Make sure democrats don't want to go to the polls in Nov. If he can do that while not alienating or discouraging republican voters, he will put up a fight. If he can't, it's as close to a bloodbath as we've seen in recent political memory (which is like... still gonna be a single-digit spread...)

/$0.02.
 
2012-09-28 10:23:56 AM

mrshowrules: madgonad: When the debate starts Obama should come out on the stage pushing a kegerator full of beer that was brewed at the White House. He should spend the introductory segment pouring beer for the moderator and important guests - and naturally offer a frosty pint to Mitt, which he will have to decline....

Obama should say "pass" a lot and giggle when Romney is talking.


nah Obama should just bring out an empty chair and sit it down and walk off. Saying "it worked really well last time"
 
2012-09-28 10:24:47 AM

Hollie Maea: Lowering expectations is all well and good, but this is ridiculous. By all accounts, if Romney does not decisively win this debate, his campaign is effectively over. Getting your ass kicked and saying "well we expected that" is not going to cut it, Bub.


Devil's advocate for his shiatty campaign team; if he somehow manages to win and everyone expected him to fail spectacularly he'll get that much more of a bump.

Of course barring something like Obama dropping acid before the debate that's not going to happen, but his economic plans prove Romney doesn't mind playing long odds with other peoples' money.
 
2012-09-28 10:25:44 AM

BeesNuts: The goal on Romney's side *has* to be maintaining the votes he has while discouraging democratic voters. That's it.


Well put. I'd argue that's also at least partially true for Democrats, but they have other goals they can shoot for. The Republican side is running out of ammunition (thank goodness).
 
2012-09-28 10:28:12 AM

mrshowrules: madgonad: When the debate starts Obama should come out on the stage pushing a kegerator full of beer that was brewed at the White House. He should spend the introductory segment pouring beer for the moderator and important guests - and naturally offer a frosty pint to Mitt, which he will have to decline....

Obama should say "pass" a lot and giggle when Romney is talking.


While Romney's talking, the camera will go to Obama for a reaction, and he'll be doing the robot.
 
2012-09-28 10:29:24 AM
I think Romney's in trouble. He couldn't hold his shiat together when he was in a format where you could just make shiat up and say it and the crowd would eat it up. This is a general election... the shiat you make up hast to have a ring of truthiness to it... or at the very least be plausible. The debates aren't to win over the party faithful, it's to get those true independants, moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats to vote for you.

There's a lot against Romney is this. Firstly, Obama's actual governing style is center-right which is exactly the demographic that'll win this election. Secondly, Obama's a far better speaker than Willard and finally, Obama's political platform isn't just smoke and mirrors, he can discuss actual policy. He doesn't have to keep it secret from either his base or the people he's trying to win over to his side. Mitt doesn't have that luxury.

His own campaign knows this, which is why they're surrendering even before the hotel rooms are booked.
 
2012-09-28 10:31:59 AM

brigid_fitch: At this point, there's little in the substance of the debate that is really going to sway anyone. They could both read from the phone book and whoever did the better job would be declared the winner. The non-stop campaigning & news coverage since mid-July has pretty much built the framework of each candidate's position. And the conventions merely solidified it.

Obama: Let Bush Tax Cuts expire, put more money in education & infrastructure, create more jobs.
Romney: Cut taxes for the wealthy, eliminate some tax deductions, deregulate Wall St., repeal Obamacare.

Romney will keep beating up Obama on facts & figures over the past 4 years and Obama will point out that Romeny has no concrete plan.


I'll tivo it and then fast forward to the parts where Rmoney has a Miss America moment...such as and the maps
 
2012-09-28 10:32:05 AM
This guy is a clown. He was pretty bad in the debates filled with the likes of Gingrich and Herman Cain (remember his 10k bet moment?) so Obama probably will take him out easily.
 
2012-09-28 10:33:03 AM

Hobodeluxe: sprawl15: What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

he got a spray job before his Univision appearance to appear more likable to Latinos.


I get that.

But his arm looks deep fried.
 
2012-09-28 10:34:49 AM

Mercutio74: I think Romney's in trouble. He couldn't hold his shiat together when he was in a format where you could just make shiat up and say it and the crowd would eat it up. This is a general election... the shiat you make up hast to have a ring of truthiness to it... or at the very least be plausible. The debates aren't to win over the party faithful, it's to get those true independants, moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats to vote for you.

There's a lot against Romney is this. Firstly, Obama's actual governing style is center-right which is exactly the demographic that'll win this election. Secondly, Obama's a far better speaker than Willard and finally, Obama's political platform isn't just smoke and mirrors, he can discuss actual policy. He doesn't have to keep it secret from either his base or the people he's trying to win over to his side. Mitt doesn't have that luxury.

His own campaign knows this, which is why they're surrendering even before the hotel rooms are booked.


The thing is they have no new ideas. It's the same failed policies of the past 30 yrs. tax cuts for the rich and deregulation.
 
2012-09-28 10:35:31 AM

imontheinternet: go to Obama for a reaction, and he'll be doing the robot.


This would make me vote for Obama twice. And being from Chicago, I'm allowed to do that.
 
2012-09-28 10:35:55 AM

This Face Left Blank: If the West Wing taught me anything, it's that you lower expectations going into a debate, whether or not you're favored to win. Obama would have to pull off a fatality to meet expectations at this point, whereas all Mitt has to do is not foul himself & fall down to look better than expected.



It's called the "Dancing Bear" theory.

Nobody is impressed by the quality and skill of a trained bear's dancing. They are impressed that a goddamn bear can dance at all.
 
2012-09-28 10:36:50 AM

Jacobin: You mean Gordon Gecko won't make a good presidential candidate?

Who knew?


I always thought it's plausible he's Patrick Bateman.
 
2012-09-28 10:39:05 AM
- "This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of his political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first."

Wait, just two weeks ago I read that Romney would slaughter Obama at the debates because ROMNEY is the one with all of the debate experience, having practiced all Spring, and Obama hadn't had to debate in so long it was silly.


So what's the deal guys? The whole campaign has started flipping in sync with Mittster, or what?
 
2012-09-28 10:40:49 AM
cdn3.hark.com

"Who cares that you didn't crap yourself during the debate? You're not supposed to shiat yourself on the stage, you low-expectation-having motherfarker!"
 
2012-09-28 10:40:50 AM
So, will they adjust Romney's tan to make him look whiter for this debate?
 
2012-09-28 10:41:09 AM
What happened to "The President is going to lie to you?"
 
2012-09-28 10:42:24 AM

Big Dave: Obama says "let me be clear": 1 sip any clear liquor


This one, alone, will put me in the ER. No thanks.
 
2012-09-28 10:44:50 AM

Mikey1969: Wait, just two weeks ago I read that Romney would slaughter Obama at the debates because ROMNEY is the one with all of the debate experience, having practiced all Spring, and Obama hadn't had to debate in so long it was silly.


That's like saying Romney would be a good lay because he's been to City Jerks hundreds of times.
 
2012-09-28 10:46:39 AM

shower_in_my_socks: I think I'm actually more interested in the Biden/Ryan debate just because I have no farking clue what those two guys are going to say to each other.


Well, we can be reasonably sure Ryan will lie.
 
2012-09-28 10:47:04 AM

SFSailor: incendi: I think that could be a death blow, if Obama walked on staged, set down a chair behind the podium, then walked off.This is the greatest idea in the history of ideas, and went completely ignored by the thread. How does that happen? Just the image of that -- walking out, setting down the chair, smiling in his charming way, and walking off would be -awesome-. Or maybe add in, "Mr. Romney so frequently contradicts himself, and so regularly misstates facts, that I'm sure you can fill your time just trying to elicit a verifiable, consistent answer from him. Have a nice night, and god bless America."Of course, I live in an elaborate fantasy world, but, still, the idea is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.


The slight flaw being that the GOP have been running against imaginary Obama the whole time, wasting a debate with one more session of them doing the same would seem a bit pointless.
 
2012-09-28 10:48:27 AM
Maybe whoever wrote this just watched Rocky. You know, the white guy with less experience but more spirit faces the evil black man who everyone assumes will win. Romney is the underdog, a simple man who got what little he has through hard inheritance and destroying American companies. And even though the black man eventually beats him, the righteous white man proves that he can go the distance and the crowd turns to his side.

Romney! Romney! Romney!

...well except he still loses
 
2012-09-28 10:48:40 AM

mrshowrules:

I'm starting to think that Ryan has absolutely no ideology at all and is just a pure political/tactical creature (a la Karl Rove). He's sees the whole thing as a game and every bad play pisses him off. If the GOP would have put Ryan at the top of the ticket, I think he actually would have had a real chance of winning (as horrific as that sounds).


Of course Ryan has an ideology. It is pure Randian, plain and simple. Fark off, I'm going to walk all over anyone to get mine because I am stronger and smarter. If you were better, you would be me. As of now, he has his, is getting more, so fark you.
 
2012-09-28 10:51:53 AM

wingnut396: mrshowrules:

I'm starting to think that Ryan has absolutely no ideology at all and is just a pure political/tactical creature (a la Karl Rove). He's sees the whole thing as a game and every bad play pisses him off. If the GOP would have put Ryan at the top of the ticket, I think he actually would have had a real chance of winning (as horrific as that sounds).

Of course Ryan has an ideology. It is pure Randian, plain and simple. Fark off, I'm going to walk all over anyone to get mine because I am stronger and smarter. If you were better, you would be me. As of now, he has his, is getting more, so fark you.


I'd love to see him lose his Congressional seat as well
 
Bf+
2012-09-28 10:52:18 AM

revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-09-28 10:52:29 AM

sprawl15: Mikey1969: Wait, just two weeks ago I read that Romney would slaughter Obama at the debates because ROMNEY is the one with all of the debate experience, having practiced all Spring, and Obama hadn't had to debate in so long it was silly.

That's like saying Romney would be a good lay because he's been to City Jerks hundreds of times.


LOL, I'm not the one who was saying it, I was just wondering at their constant flip flopping. I guess the Romney supporters need the guide to follow what's going on, really...
 
2012-09-28 10:53:40 AM

Mr_Fabulous: This Face Left Blank: If the West Wing taught me anything, it's that you lower expectations going into a debate, whether or not you're favored to win. Obama would have to pull off a fatality to meet expectations at this point, whereas all Mitt has to do is not foul himself & fall down to look better than expected.


It's called the "Dancing Bear" theory.

Nobody is impressed by the quality and skill of a trained bear's dancing. They are impressed that a goddamn bear can dance at all.


i46.tinypic.com

approves
 
2012-09-28 10:54:02 AM

Mercutio74: I think Romney's in trouble. He couldn't hold his shiat together when he was in a format where you could just make shiat up and say it and the crowd would eat it up. This is a general election... the shiat you make up hast to have a ring of truthiness to it... or at the very least be plausible. The debates aren't to win over the party faithful, it's to get those true independants, moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats to vote for you.


WHAT. We've been assured by Top People in both the right wing shrill community *and* the lame mainstream MSN media that Romney did awesome in the Republican debates which is why he'll do fine against Obama who just speaks so well and that's the only reason anyone likes him though he's doomed without a telepromter.
 
2012-09-28 10:54:20 AM

Bill Frist: This guy is a clown. He was pretty bad in the debates filled with the likes of Gingrich and Herman Cain (remember his 10k bet moment?) so Obama probably will take him out easily.


Remember him being the only only debate participant that didn't answer the question about the most popular misconception people has about him and then he flips out on the moderator.

Or, when he pretended he didn't know about a negative ad against Newt but nonetheless went on to argue based on what was in it.
 
2012-09-28 10:57:23 AM

DrBenway: Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?


yeah ...this seems to make no sense.
 
2012-09-28 10:58:41 AM
a lot of romney fans will expect Mitt to bring up all the stuff they'll learned from RW blogs or through FW:FW: emails. Of course he'd look like a fool talking about any of that BS outside of the bubble.

They'll conclude he's gutless when goes the entire debate without going after Obama for things like:

being a communist, being a muslim, being a communist muslim atheist kenyan, stalking ranchers with drones, and on and on and on and on.

I wonder if this will hold back turnout for MItt.
 
2012-09-28 10:58:58 AM

Satanic_Hamster: Mercutio74: I think Romney's in trouble. He couldn't hold his shiat together when he was in a format where you could just make shiat up and say it and the crowd would eat it up. This is a general election... the shiat you make up hast to have a ring of truthiness to it... or at the very least be plausible. The debates aren't to win over the party faithful, it's to get those true independants, moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats to vote for you.

WHAT. We've been assured by Top People in both the right wing shrill community *and* the lame mainstream MSN media that Romney did awesome in the Republican debates which is why he'll do fine against Obama who just speaks so well and that's the only reason anyone likes him though he's doomed without a telepromter.


The CIA developed a teleprompter for Obama that goes on his eye like a contact lens, so George Soros can feed him answers.
 
2012-09-28 11:06:24 AM
Those that support Romney already aren't deep thinkers and going to be swayed by the debate content no matter what Romney does. Look at Palin during the VP debates, she didn't even try to answer some of the questions, saying "well, I don't want to answer your question, I want to talk about garble wargarble!" and then read an unrelated answer off a prepared index card! People still said that she "won". The moderators should have called her out on that.
 
2012-09-28 11:07:12 AM
I was at a baseball game the other day and the home team put this pitcher with like, a 5+ ERA in the game when the other team had their best hitter up. Now, I know he doesn't have a shot in hell in getting the guy out. So does the manager. But the loyal pink-hat fans are cheering, though. They think he can do it. They're starting the wave and yelling their fool heads off. I mean they're really believing they're going to see something great here. Then the batter puts one deep into the center field bleachers. Game over. The crowd boos him. Other people shrug and ask what the pitcher was supposed to do anyhow... he was over matched to begin with. Why send him out to be slaughtered? What was the manager thinking?

Meanwhile I'm not blaming the pitcher. I'm not blaming the manager. The thing to do in this situation is question the organization as whole. Why is it that our bull pen is so crappy that we only have an aging righty with a 5+ ERA, slow fastball, and no finesse to put on the mound in situations like this? That's what people should be asking. At least, it's what I'd be asking if I was a republican.
 
2012-09-28 11:10:17 AM

WinoRhino: I was at a baseball game the other day and the home team put this pitcher with like, a 5+ ERA in the game when the other team had their best hitter up. Now, I know he doesn't have a shot in hell in getting the guy out.


That's not how baseball works, the best hitter on the team only gets a hit one out of every three times. Romney doesn't have a chance at this point.
 
2012-09-28 11:13:04 AM

Perlin Noise: DrBenway: Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?

yeah ...this seems to make no sense.


See, they are giving Obama advance credit for the debates he will have with Rmoney. This creates a negative balance in the debate ledger, so they have to deduct 3 from Romney.

Between now and the completion of the debates, the 6 debate swing will be used as a leverage to get a loan on air time. This loan will be paid directly to the Romney campaign in the form of Fox News guest appearances. The debate loan will be secured by derivatives used to pay local campaign staffers and those that rent and lease services to them.

After the debates are complete, the loan will be defaulted on, so the local staffers and suppliers will bear the bill. The advance that Romney gave Obama will be retroactively resinstated, so that the debate swing will then be equal.

The fact that you don't understand how basic business principals can be applied to government functions tell me you must be a lib. I'm sure you just say my accurate analysis is bunk and back your arguement up with 'facts' that you claim to get from 'reallity'.
 
2012-09-28 11:14:56 AM

WinoRhino: I was at a baseball game the other day and the home team put this pitcher with like, a 5+ ERA in the game when the other team had their best hitter up. Now, I know he doesn't have a shot in hell in getting the guy out. So does the manager. But the loyal pink-hat fans are cheering, though. They think he can do it. They're starting the wave and yelling their fool heads off. I mean they're really believing they're going to see something great here. Then the batter puts one deep into the center field bleachers. Game over. The crowd boos him. Other people shrug and ask what the pitcher was supposed to do anyhow... he was over matched to begin with. Why send him out to be slaughtered? What was the manager thinking?

Meanwhile I'm not blaming the pitcher. I'm not blaming the manager. The thing to do in this situation is question the organization as whole. Why is it that our bull pen is so crappy that we only have an aging righty with a 5+ ERA, slow fastball, and no finesse to put on the mound in situations like this? That's what people should be asking. At least, it's what I'd be asking if I was a republican.


"Red Sox fan"
 
2012-09-28 11:22:51 AM

sprawl15: Hobodeluxe: sprawl15: What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

he got a spray job before his Univision appearance to appear more likable to Latinos.

I get that.

But his arm looks deep fried.



It's the opposite of driving arm.

/unless you're British
 
2012-09-28 11:24:58 AM
It doesn't matter who actually does better in the debates.

The laughable US media will frame it the way THEY want to, and idiots who rely on their own slanted media (especially mouthbreathing FOX viewers) will just take what the talking heads say as gospel, instead of doing any critical thinking of their own.

"While some are claiming that Obama soundly defeated Romney in the debate, we all know what the liberal media is up to, don't we?" (wink)

"Sure, Obama might have one-upped Romney in the last debate, but he did so in a unpresidential and frankly insulting way. Real Americans know the truth. They know it in their gut. Oh look something shiny."
 
2012-09-28 11:25:03 AM
Considering all his unforced errors and the absence of any signs of competence from the Romney campaign we may be treated to a pretty spectacular implosion of "DUBYA" Mitt Romney.

The worst Obama will do is be boring.
 
2012-09-28 11:27:09 AM
 
2012-09-28 11:31:15 AM

RolandGunner: Shhhhh... don't tell subby this is standard election behavior.


seems a matter of degree don't you think? Lowering expectations is one thing, dashing them against the rocks is another.
 
2012-09-28 11:33:22 AM

Rich Cream: sprawl15: Hobodeluxe: sprawl15: What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

he got a spray job before his Univision appearance to appear more likable to Latinos.

I get that.

But his arm looks deep fried.


It's the opposite of driving arm.

/unless you're British


Romney does not drive himself. Here you can see his man holding the door for him in his giant SUV.

static.guim.co.uk
 
2012-09-28 11:33:29 AM

NeverDrunk23: Fox News will tout a Romney victory just from Romney showing up.


This is Romney. He could very well just phone it in.
 
2012-09-28 11:33:32 AM

belgianguy: Wow. What an inspiring statement from the Romney campaign.

"Our guy is competing to be the next leader of the free world, but cut him some slack because he's a bit green and thick. Obama is the worst president ever, but our guy isn't capable of thinking his way out of a open-topped cardboard box. So you should know we're probably going to get our ass handed to us. But because we announced this beforehand, it automatically means it's a draw and Sarah Palin gets to moderate the next debates and Obama has to apologize before answering any questions."

Still, I'm anticipating Romney will let out a loud, sputtering fart during a long silence or something.


And then in typical Romney fashion he'll blame his fart on Obama.
 
2012-09-28 11:34:08 AM

suebhoney: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

omg the fark debate thread will be a nationwide 911 emergency.

/you better believe I'm gonna be here to watch both lulz


I don't drink, period, so I'm used to being the designated driver. I'm thinking of being the designated counter for this debate. While everyone else on Fark gets shiat-faced, I'll be there counting every sip, every chug, every "YOU LIE" yell-worthy moment. After the debate I'll alert the thread (and the authorities if necessary) how many drinks you all could have embibed in a 90-minute span.
 
2012-09-28 11:34:20 AM

Mr_Fabulous: This Face Left Blank: If the West Wing taught me anything, it's that you lower expectations going into a debate, whether or not you're favored to win. Obama would have to pull off a fatality to meet expectations at this point, whereas all Mitt has to do is not foul himself & fall down to look better than expected.


It's called the "Dancing Bear" theory.

Nobody is impressed by the quality and skill of a trained bear's dancing. They are impressed that a goddamn bear can dance at all.


Bears don't dig on dancing...
 
2012-09-28 11:41:57 AM

the_sidewinder: FTFA: Pushing back against emerging conventional wisdom, Myers concludes that the debates will not, in fact, decide the election: "It will be decided by the American people," she says.

What the hell does that even mean?


It means they know Romney is going to get his ass kicked in November.
 
2012-09-28 11:42:32 AM

mrshowrules: sprawl15: mrshowrules: sweet. I'm so glad this meme is still going and getting.

I don't know what it is about the idea of Ryan being Romney's sanity check/conscience, but it makes me crack up every time. "The fark are you doing? Really? This is an election, Jesus. At least try."

During Eastwood speech:

[i.imgur.com image 500x500]

I'm starting to think that Ryan has absolutely no ideology at all and is just a pure political/tactical creature (a la Karl Rove). He's sees the whole thing as a game and every bad play pisses him off. If the GOP would have put Ryan at the top of the ticket, I think he actually would have had a real chance of winning (as horrific as that sounds).


The "nice" thing about having a tactical critter in the oval office is that he/she actually takes the time to read the situation and play to the crowd. The problem of late has been derpers who lash the steering wheel, put a brick on the accelerator, and tell us what a great driver they are.
 
2012-09-28 11:51:12 AM
> Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?

Must have been when he was in the CIA experiments and ran for President of Mars.

Farkin' debate counts, how do they work?
 
2012-09-28 11:52:01 AM
I half suspect one of Romney's staffers is going to slip something into Romney's food before the debate. Just something to chill him out a bit and make him seem less like he has a stick up his ass. If it works, great! And if not, it can be blamed on a prescription mishap.
 
2012-09-28 11:52:03 AM

KarmicDisaster: Rich Cream: sprawl15: Hobodeluxe: sprawl15: What the fark is wrong with Romney's arm?

Was there an accident at the tanning factory?

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

he got a spray job before his Univision appearance to appear more likable to Latinos.

I get that.

But his arm looks deep fried.


It's the opposite of driving arm.

/unless you're British

Romney does not drive himself. Here you can see his man holding the door for him in his giant SUV.

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]



That's why his right arm is brown?

/yeesh
 
2012-09-28 11:52:11 AM

unexplained bacon: a lot of romney fans will expect Mitt to bring up all the stuff they'll learned from RW blogs or through FW:FW: emails. Of course he'd look like a fool talking about any of that BS outside of the bubble.

They'll conclude he's gutless when goes the entire debate without going after Obama for things like:

being a communist, being a muslim, being a communist muslim atheist kenyan, stalking ranchers with drones, and on and on and on and on.

I wonder if this will hold back turnout for MItt.


It's an interesting theory, but I think the derpers have already made their peace with Romney. Not sure how much the debate will change that.

They've already decided to either sit the election out or vote for the RINO because he's better the the Kenyan Muslim usurper.

If there really are people still expecting Romney to bring that shiat up in a debate their disappointment will be delicious.
 
2012-09-28 11:54:29 AM
That's the level of confidence I want in a President and Commander in Chief.
 
2012-09-28 12:01:44 PM
Of the 21 Republican debates this election, Romney missed only 4: Detroit, which only Tancredo attended, Baltimore, Sioux City, which only Huckabee and McCain attended, and New York, NY. That gave him 17 debates for practice. I don't see how his staff actually thinks he will do poorly.

God knows this is the most work Romney has done in years.
 
2012-09-28 12:07:52 PM

Delay: Of the 21 Republican debates this election, Romney missed only 4: Detroit, which only Tancredo attended, Baltimore, Sioux City, which only Huckabee and McCain attended, and New York, NY. That gave him 17 debates for practice. I don't see how his staff actually thinks he will do poorly.


Difficulty: Romney has to speak at somepoint. Probably about his policies.
 
2012-09-28 12:08:00 PM

fqhollis: > Can anyone explain the math by which Obama has been in 7 presidential debates and Romney none?

Must have been when he was in the CIA experiments and ran for President of Mars.

Farkin' debate counts, how do they work?


I counted 3 one-on-one Presidential debates. I recounted again, and still came up with 3.
 
2012-09-28 12:08:44 PM

Hobodeluxe: Mercutio74: I think Romney's in trouble. He couldn't hold his shiat together when he was in a format where you could just make shiat up and say it and the crowd would eat it up. This is a general election... the shiat you make up hast to have a ring of truthiness to it... or at the very least be plausible. The debates aren't to win over the party faithful, it's to get those true independants, moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats to vote for you.

There's a lot against Romney is this. Firstly, Obama's actual governing style is center-right which is exactly the demographic that'll win this election. Secondly, Obama's a far better speaker than Willard and finally, Obama's political platform isn't just smoke and mirrors, he can discuss actual policy. He doesn't have to keep it secret from either his base or the people he's trying to win over to his side. Mitt doesn't have that luxury.

His own campaign knows this, which is why they're surrendering even before the hotel rooms are booked.

The thing is they have no new ideas. It's the same failed policies of the past 30 yrs. tax cuts for the rich and deregulation.



The reason for that is very simple though the people it worked on the first time 30 years ago are still alive and voting. And now they have 30 more years of pent up aggression to unleash from their hoverround encased, cellulite ridden, artery clogged bodies than ever before. You can't change your policies when your base can still buy batteries for that 'ol pace maker.
 
2012-09-28 12:10:24 PM

quizzical: I half suspect one of Romney's staffers is going to slip something into Romney's food before the debate. Just something to chill him out a bit and make him seem less like he has a stick up his ass. If it works, great! And if not, it can be blamed on a prescription mishap.


You know that the Romney campaign had either a gay or a minority person in charge of his make-up and decided that emptying 3 cans of tanner solution on his face was just to exquisitely funny to pass-up.
 
2012-09-28 12:13:03 PM
I counted 3 one-on-one Presidential debates. I recounted again, and still came up with 3.

Metric debates, maybe? Double it and add one?
 
2012-09-28 12:26:24 PM

fqhollis: I counted 3 one-on-one Presidential debates. I recounted again, and still came up with 3.

Metric debates, maybe? Double it and add one?


I try that and I only get potato.
 
2012-09-28 12:31:12 PM

fqhollis: I counted 3 one-on-one Presidential debates. I recounted again, and still came up with 3.

Metric debates, maybe? Double it and add one?


You might be on to something. Looking at the Fox commentaries following each debate there were clearly two debates each time. The one America was watching and the one Fox was commenting on. So that is 3 x 2 or 6 debates. Which would make this the 7th debate Presidential debate:

cdn.blisstree.com

it makes perfect sense
 
2012-09-28 12:39:59 PM

Delay: Of the 21 Republican debates this election, Romney missed only 4: Detroit, which only Tancredo attended, Baltimore, Sioux City, which only Huckabee and McCain attended, and New York, NY. That gave him 17 debates for practice. I don't see how his staff actually thinks he will do poorly.

God knows this is the most work Romney has done in years.


Beating up on minor league-ers is not beating up on a pro.
 
2012-09-28 12:56:59 PM
both sides pre-approve the questions, I suspect there will be more questions like "what is your favorite food" and "what sort of tree would you be?" than anything political, cutting edge, or important.

"we get most of our oil from Canada, do you think this helps with our relationship with our closest ally?"
"does Mexico have a common border with the US"
"what color of shoes would go best with my oufit."
 
2012-09-28 12:59:02 PM
It's standard pre-debate strategy being used by Obama too, as some point out.

It's only strange if you are a Obama kid and you know nothing about politics.
 
2012-09-28 01:03:12 PM
Beating up on minor league-ers is not beating up on a pro.

Obama doesn't get to use his teleprompter.

All Romney has to do to make Obama crack is out some pressure on Obama. Obama loses his shiat fast when he gets criticized to his face. That's what happens to a guy that has always had everyone bend over backwards for him. He's not used to replying to people that way. Obama actually believes the media have been hard on him.

That's the second term, if you get it. Then you will finally get some media heat.
 
2012-09-28 01:03:38 PM
I have read that "lowered expectations" are common for any political candidate entering a Presidential debate. President Obama's campaign has already issued similar sentiments regarding President Obama's performance. Evidently, whether a statement of "lowered expectations" is a viable source of derision is determined upon which candidate a person favours.
 
2012-09-28 01:08:23 PM

barneyfifesbullet: Obama loses his shiat fast when he gets criticized to his face.


You are correct. Observe President Obama's unjustified outbursts to Mr. Donald Trump. Clearly, Mr. Trump was seen to be the better man when all had finished.
 
2012-09-28 01:12:39 PM

Dimensio: I have read that "lowered expectations" are common for any political candidate entering a Presidential debate. President Obama's campaign has already issued similar sentiments regarding President Obama's performance. Evidently, whether a statement of "lowered expectations" is a viable source of derision is determined upon which candidate a person favours.


Compare and contrast.

1) Romney is a very strong debater and has had much more recent debate experience than Obama

2) It's hopeless because Obama is going to destroy us
 
2012-09-28 01:38:48 PM

Mentat: "We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."


I assume it would be Reformed Egyptian.
 
2012-09-28 02:12:18 PM

barneyfifesbullet: Beating up on minor league-ers is not beating up on a pro.

Obama doesn't get to use his teleprompter.

All Romney has to do to make Obama crack is out some pressure on Obama. Obama loses his shiat fast when he gets criticized to his face. That's what happens to a guy that has always had everyone bend over backwards for him. He's not used to replying to people that way. Obama actually believes the media have been hard on him.

That's the second term, if you get it. Then you will finally get some media heat.


How long into it before Romney gets flustered and starts throwing out $10,000 bets.

Rick Perry through Romney off his game. RICK PERRY
 
2012-09-28 02:32:30 PM

NateGrey: barneyfifesbullet: Beating up on minor league-ers is not beating up on a pro.

Obama doesn't get to use his teleprompter.

All Romney has to do to make Obama crack is out some pressure on Obama. Obama loses his shiat fast when he gets criticized to his face. That's what happens to a guy that has always had everyone bend over backwards for him. He's not used to replying to people that way. Obama actually believes the media have been hard on him.

That's the second term, if you get it. Then you will finally get some media heat.

How long into it before Romney gets flustered and starts throwing out $10,000 bets.

Rick Perry through Romney off his game. RICK PERRY


Do Farkers forget that, after Mr. Romney had established himself as "incompetent" during the Republican primary debates, he subsequently produced a substantially improved performance that caught Mr. Newt Gingrinch entirely off-guard?
 
2012-09-28 02:36:55 PM

gamepolice: And I thought Romney said the debates was where things were going to turn around...


He said that when he had a chance of winning so it was true at the time.
 
2012-09-28 02:38:19 PM

Dimensio: Mr. Newt Gingrinch entirely off-guard?


Newt decided in Florida to say that he was going to build a moon-base. Romney had nothing to do with his flameout.
 
2012-09-28 02:39:50 PM

Bontesla: I was informed that Obama cannot function without a teleprompter. So wait - now we're saying that Obama ISN'T the Bumbler in Chief? Wow, that's sure to confuse no one.


He is the bumbler in chief, but uses his Jedi verbal skills to influence weak minded liberals

He is impotent, but forced health care down their throat

He raises taxes, but taxes are lower than when he took office

He is week on terror, but has killed OBL and numerous AQ #2s

He is a member of a racist christian church, but a Muslim

and my favorite, he is a socialist AND a fascist AND a communist all before breakfast

The right-wingosphere is really losing their shiat over this guy. It's fun as hell to watch.
 
2012-09-28 02:41:11 PM

WorldCitizen: I'm so confused by Republican messaging on Obama.

He's incompetent, then he's so competent Romney fully expects to get his ass kicked by him.

Militant black Christian
Muslim
Atheist
Communist
Fascist
Socialist
Kenyan
US born conspiracy to cover up CIA connections
Hasn't raised taxes
Will raise your taxes next term though
Needs teleprompter to even form sentence
Will whip your ass in a debate without teleprompter

If you're going to demonize the guy, at least stay consistent.



Also

He had a secret plan to take guns away from "real Americans", but his plan included waiting for his second term while loosening gun control during his first term.
 
2012-09-28 02:57:09 PM

Agneska: That stuttering fool Obama will be licking Romney boots by the end of the night.


www.troll.me
 
2012-09-28 03:03:25 PM

mrshowrules: 1) Romney is a very strong debater and has had much more recent debate experience than Obama.


I was gonna make a "master debater" joke here, but that's just not my style.

/Low hanging fruit and all that.
 
2012-09-28 03:18:34 PM

Summer Glau's Love Slave: mrshowrules: 1) Romney is a very strong debater and has had much more recent debate experience than Obama.

I was gonna make a "master debater" joke here, but that's just not my style.

/Low hanging fruit and all that.


A good master debater involves the low hanging fruit if you know what I mean.
 
2012-09-28 04:37:34 PM

Alphax: erik-k: The GOP lives inside Republican Reality Distortion Field which we can't meaningfully talk about because it is not coherent, self-consistent, or any of the other things necessary for meaningful discussion to occur. When the RRDF is collapsed by the election, the effect is going to be... hilarious.

I'm sure the people who create and maintain the RRDF have some awareness of what goes on outside it,


[citation needed]
 
2012-09-28 04:38:52 PM
Evidently, whether a statement of "lowered expectations" is a viable source of derision is determined upon which candidate a person favours.

The "Obama/Everybody does it too" defense doesn't really work here, since the statement from Romney's campaign is waaaaay over the top in kissing Obama's asstounding debate skills. What's strange is not that they're trying to lower the expectations, what's strange is the extent to which they have gone to do so.

It's one thing to "lower expectations", it's another to bury them in a deep, deep hole and salt the earth unto seven generations.

/onlySlightlyHyperbolic
 
2012-09-28 05:08:15 PM

Skyd1v: revrendjim: What are the odds that Romney will actually start to cry during the debates?

Oh please, please, please.

/need a good laugh.


actually, for me, Joe Biden won the VP debate when he got all choked up about his dead family. He made Sarah Palin look like a screeching harpy.

Of course, in this scenario, Romney would be crying in egoistic rage about his inability to simply buy the presidency. Which would be less appealing, sure.
 
2012-09-28 05:41:05 PM
I just want to hear Obama say, flat out: "Mr. Romney, you're not ready for this job."
 
2012-09-28 05:55:14 PM

NewportBarGuy: Mentat: "We expect Governor Romney to not cover himself in his own feces and scream in Aramaic."

We do?


Of course. Romney doesn't know Aramaic. He only speaks red-blooded American.
 
2012-09-28 06:01:26 PM

johnnyrocket: I don't expect too many sparks. Both candidates are going to be highly scripted and careful. My guess is it'll be a wash, and not make much difference.


I do not agree. Obama will probably be cautious but charismatic. But Romney needs to land a knockout blow, so expect him to take some risks.
 
2012-09-28 06:55:25 PM

ariseatex: suebhoney: (from dahmers love zombie)
The 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game - Semi-Official Fark.com rules

omg the fark debate thread will be a nationwide 911 emergency.

/you better believe I'm gonna be here to watch both lulz


I don't drink, period, so I'm used to being the designated driver. I'm thinking of being the designated counter for this debate. While everyone else on Fark gets shiat-faced, I'll be there counting every sip, every chug, every "YOU LIE" yell-worthy moment. After the debate I'll alert the thread (and the authorities if necessary) how many drinks you all could have embibed in a 90-minute span.


I love this idea.

/non-drinker as well
 
2012-09-28 07:34:31 PM
I'm just excited to see if Obama is able to make an android cry.
 
2012-09-28 07:53:51 PM
"Oil....can!"
 
2012-09-28 09:13:32 PM

bugontherug: But Romney needs to land a knockout blow...


He probably will:

i.imgur.com
 
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