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(Colorado Springs Gazette)   "A friend of a friend calls to say he found that friend with another friend's stolen car. Cue the arrival of the friend, with another friend, and her mother to hunt down the car-thief-friend." There's also crashes and stuff   (gazette.com) divider line 33
    More: Weird, Chevrolet Blazer, Chevy Impala, Parkland Memorial Hospital, SSA  
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3267 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2012 at 4:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-27 04:21:05 PM
everyboty.net
 
2012-09-27 04:25:57 PM
The Aristocrats
 
2012-09-27 04:29:47 PM
What? No meth?
 
2012-09-27 04:33:52 PM
They say i can't understand it without the chart. Then they don't provide the chart. Lazy reporting if you ask me.
 
2012-09-27 04:36:43 PM
Some static started, in the pool hall?
 
2012-09-27 04:41:16 PM
Heard it from a friend who
heard it from a friend who
 
2012-09-27 04:42:27 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Heard it from a friend who
heard it from a friend who


They stole his REO Speedwagon?!?!
 
2012-09-27 04:45:54 PM
A warning even prefaces the police blotter item: "This is complicated so read carefully."

I hope my life is never such a train wreck that this has to be written about it.
 
2012-09-27 04:47:41 PM
Cool story bro, please try to rewrite that without the use of the word "friend."
 
2012-09-27 04:51:26 PM

Hack Patooey:


And then things got friend?
I mean, weird!

Ps. You made me laugh
 
2012-09-27 05:18:11 PM

5monkeys: They say i can't understand it without the chart. Then they don't provide the chart. Lazy reporting if you ask me.


Lame-ass Colorado Springs Gazette does half of its "reporting" by rewording the local police blotter. The libertarian-Christian ethos of the Gazette requires that they make their paper as cheaply as possible. Why pay for investigative reporting when you can get a flunky to paraphrase what is published by the government?
 
2012-09-27 05:20:53 PM
What is the point of the extraneous letter "i" in friend? Imagine how many keystrokes could be saved over the course of year if we spelled it "frend." Imagine how many bytes of storage could be freed up. Imagine the extra bandwidth. Why, that headline alone would be 7 bytes smaller. Now multiply that by the number of Farkers who click on this page.

/Why can't we be frends?
 
2012-09-27 05:23:55 PM

Egalitarian: 5monkeys: They say i can't understand it without the chart. Then they don't provide the chart. Lazy reporting if you ask me.

Lame-ass Colorado Springs Gazette does half of its "reporting" by rewording the local police blotter. The libertarian-Christian ethos of the Gazette requires that they make their paper as cheaply as possible. Why pay for investigative reporting when you can get a flunky to paraphrase what is published by the government?


Was this a story that required "investigative reporting?"
 
2012-09-27 05:24:00 PM

Nakito: What is the point of the extraneous letter "i" in friend? Imagine how many keystrokes could be saved over the course of year if we spelled it "frend." Imagine how many bytes of storage could be freed up. Imagine the extra bandwidth. Why, that headline alone would be 7 bytes smaller. Now multiply that by the number of Farkers who click on this page.

/Why can't we be frends?


thats dum
 
2012-09-27 05:24:33 PM
THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HAVE NAMES! farkING USE THEM!

/friend at work actually lives where this happened. His father-in-law's car was also smashed under the pole.
 
2012-09-27 05:28:45 PM

runescorpio: Cool story bro, please try to rewrite that without the use of the word "friend."


i313.photobucket.com

Call it and we'll see.
 
2012-09-27 05:29:12 PM

wyldkard: THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HAVE NAMES! farkING USE THEM!


Names have not been released. Makes that kind of hard. The blotter is more helpful though, as it uses Subject 1 and Subject 2 at least.
 
2012-09-27 05:43:40 PM
approves
www.i-mockery.com
/surely not obscure to true farkers
 
2012-09-27 05:51:04 PM
SWCFSB:

When I was in high school the older brother of a friend of mine had a 1970 Datsun 240z that was his pride and joy. The car was pretty hot, real fast and my friend's brother had put a pretty serious amount of money into the suspension, the paint job and the engine and the stereo system. Another person in the neighborhood, apparently a long time neighborhood friend of theirs, decided that he was going to steal the car. He rolled it out of the driveway one night and down the street and started it. When it was discovered missing, it was reported stolen and, as the owner had gotten probably 15 tickets in the damn thing over the previous year or so, the cops knew exactly what they were looking for.

They found the car maybe a month later, in the thief's uncles garage or some shiat, and waited until the nitwit came out of the house to go somewhere. He apparently ran from the cops in it, and drove it back to the older brother dudes house, parked it in the driveway in the middle of the night and then went to the front door, pounded on it for five minutes until the owner came out, with blood in his eye.

Apparently the exchange went something like this: (As per the kid sister who had first answered the door)
Thief: "Dude, why'd you call the cops on me?"
Brother: " I didn't call the cops on you, I reported my car stolen, and the cops found it at your uncles house."
Thief: "But how'd they find out it was at my Uncles house?"
Owner: "Uh, they spotted it in the garage." (apparently the door had been left up or something.)
Thief: "But now I'm gonna get busted!"
Owner: "Thats your problem you farkin moron."

By this time the cops had pulled up in front of the owners house (someone had called) and were getting out of the car when the thief dude started throwing punches at the owner, who happened to be a Golden Gloves Boxer. I think the fight must have lasted maybe half a minute, and the cops jumped on the thief, handcuffed him, apparently giving him several thumps of their own in the process.
Thief: "You shouldn't have called the cops man, you shouldn't have called the cops! You got me busted motherfarker!" On and on, with threats and other various profanities etc. Knowing the guy, he probably had unleashed his whole vocabulary on the owner of the car and his sister and my friend and the cops.

There is no word in the English language to describe the level of pure, unadulterated stupid that guy exhibited that night.

This is the sort of thing that makes cops drink.
 
2012-09-27 05:52:08 PM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: runescorpio: Cool story bro, please try to rewrite that without the use of the word "friend."

[i313.photobucket.com image 84x90]

Call it and we'll see.


Heads?
 
2012-09-27 05:56:46 PM
Wow! What a coincidence. The exact same thing happened to me except with different friends.
 
2012-09-27 06:07:11 PM
I was really expecting the Florida tag after reading that headline.
 
2012-09-27 06:13:02 PM
Were they out clinking glasses with Joey A last night while getting three sheets to an ill wind?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn9bRjusz2E
 
2012-09-27 06:37:00 PM
images.killermovies.com

"It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people."

/hot like the car
 
2012-09-27 06:37:14 PM
... So I guess its pretty serious.
 
2012-09-27 06:49:02 PM
bbsimg.ngfiles.com

Hang on tight friend of friends!
 
2012-09-27 07:33:02 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4njPe2_rho
 
2012-09-27 08:30:13 PM

MBooda: approves
[www.i-mockery.com image 500x213]
/surely not obscure to true farkers


and since not everyone has been here 2002 they are fake Farkers, Marty? WTF, man.

/this is no way to make frends
//other posters merely write "obscure?"
///but Nooooo, Mr.Marty McFly here has to piss on people
 
2012-09-27 09:33:20 PM

mkreamer: Egalitarian: 5monkeys: They say i can't understand it without the chart. Then they don't provide the chart. Lazy reporting if you ask me.

Lame-ass Colorado Springs Gazette does half of its "reporting" by rewording the local police blotter. The libertarian-Christian ethos of the Gazette requires that they make their paper as cheaply as possible. Why pay for investigative reporting when you can get a flunky to paraphrase what is published by the government?

Was this a story that required "investigative reporting?"


I would have been happy with stick figures drawn on napkin. Or maybe a crudely drawn comic. Yea. That would have been nice.
 
2012-09-27 10:52:41 PM
Sometimes I think Colorado is looking for our own FARK tag.
 
2012-09-28 01:24:34 AM

MBooda: approves
[www.i-mockery.com image 500x213]
/surely not obscure to true farkers


Zardoz!

/classic.
//movie correctly predicted the bare midriff fashion craze of the 90s... 30 years earlier.
///has Sean Connery when he was a badass.
 
2012-09-28 01:53:57 AM
Colorado Springs = large number of Republicans = lots of white trash.
 
2012-09-30 12:03:20 AM

Nakito: What is the point of the extraneous letter "i" in friend? Imagine how many keystrokes could be saved over the course of year if we spelled it "frend." Imagine how many bytes of storage could be freed up. Imagine the extra bandwidth. Why, that headline alone would be 7 bytes smaller. Now multiply that by the number of Farkers who click on this page.

/Why can't we be frends?




I know you're working for the CIA.
 
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