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(Breitbart.com)   In a move sure to solidify the female vote, Breitbart News comes out against performing oral sex on women, calling it "gross"   (breitbart.com) divider line 50
    More: Obvious, oral sex  
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5980 clicks; posted to Politics » on 27 Sep 2012 at 4:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-27 12:55:18 PM
11 votes:
If you don't eat pussy, you're either a closet case or a selfish asshole.
2012-09-27 01:16:17 PM
6 votes:
It is gross, nasty, messy and a ton of fun.

I cry for the person that doesnt like messy fun.
2012-09-27 01:55:20 PM
4 votes:
I'd be okay with a guy not wanting to perform oral sex, as long as he didn't want oral sex performed on him. Because if you expect me to do something you are not willing to reciprocate, we're going to have a problem.

/thankfully doesn't have that problem
//neither does he
///slashies for sex
2012-09-27 01:00:37 PM
4 votes:

Sgt Otter: If you don't eat pussy, you're either a closet case or a selfish asshole.

2012-09-27 03:46:54 PM
3 votes:

abb3w: Via Infinito: I've only ever not been into it when he sucked at it.

I was under the impression that biting too hard was a more frequent no-no....


LOL. My bad. I meant that I've only ever not been into it when the guy was just really bad at it.

So here are some tips for the guys out there: Sucking is okay. Some gentle nibbling is okay (NOT THE CLIT). Doing the ABC's is a clear winner every time. And don't try to use your tongue like a penis and shove it in the vag. It does NOTHING for us.
2012-09-27 02:24:21 PM
3 votes:

MeinRS6: I guess everyone already realizes that they aren't calling eating pussy "gross". They are saying that Silverman is being inappropriate. And that's true, and an important part of her comedy act. Just another reason to never pay attention to any celebrities regarding politics. The race is real and not a part of her act.


But we should pay attention to breitbart.com?
2012-09-27 01:31:56 PM
3 votes:
Dear Sara: That was immature and you should be stuck in detention(cause it was about at 8th grade humor level)

Dear Breibart: Please come out of the closet, you will be happier and will cause less damage.
2012-09-27 01:13:33 PM
3 votes:
I bet Mitt has one of his butlers take care of that for him, or possibly the pool boy.

P.S. You can't get an "A" in love if you can't pass the orals.
2012-09-27 01:11:34 PM
3 votes:

Sgt Otter: If you don't eat pussy, you're either a closet case or a selfish asshole.


This is Breitbart. It's probably the former here.

/wide stance
2012-09-27 01:09:59 PM
3 votes:
Good luck with that.

If God hadn't meant for man to eat pussy, it wouldn't have made it look so much like a taco...
2012-09-27 12:35:48 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

/favorite thing to do with women
//not single either
///would seriously go to town on Ms. Silverman.
2012-09-27 02:32:56 PM
2 votes:
There's a video of Romney gleefully talking about how his company Bain destroys American companies for their own gain but here's a B-list comic making an off-color comment on Twitter. Those damn leftists.
2012-09-27 02:22:29 PM
2 votes:
I guess everyone already realizes that they aren't calling eating pussy "gross". They are saying that Silverman is being inappropriate. And that's true, and an important part of her comedy act. Just another reason to never pay attention to any celebrities regarding politics. The race is real and not a part of her act.
2012-09-27 01:04:54 PM
2 votes:
Definitely gay.
2012-09-27 01:04:31 PM
2 votes:
...says someone who's either never tried it, had gross partner(s), or is in some sort of closet.
2012-09-27 11:55:33 PM
1 votes:
I like doing it and my wife loves getting it, but unless she keeps the grass mowed it ain't gonna happen.
2012-09-27 10:36:07 PM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: Fluorescent Testicle: DeltaPunch: Maybe it's their diet? I dated a (white) girl in college that subsisted on french fries, meat, chicken fingers, fried foods -- basically pure junk food -- and I nearly gagged when I went down on her. I've since dated two vegetarians, both of whom exercise, drink lots of water, eat healthy, etc., and they both smelled super clean all the time, like zero odor at all.

I've personally never noticed a difference from their diet alone, but a lazy diet can indicate lazy bathing habits. Sounds like Lil' Miss Junk Food just didn't like washing herself where it mattered.

Being a woman, I can tell you that what you eat does affect your Ph levels, which can affect your womanly discharges and your menstrual flow (have I grossed you out enough yet?). Heavier levels of both can, well, ferment, and lead to nasty odors and/or tastes. Now I don't know for sure if lots of greasy food = smelly crotch, but an adventuresome Farker might get some good grant money to find out.


Smoking, coffee, and alcohol seem to have an effect if you do it daily. I dated an chronic alcoholic and I went down on her once.

Once.

img827.imageshack.us

I think she actually burnt my tongue.
2012-09-27 09:41:12 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: If you don't eat pussy, you're either a closet case or a selfish asshole.


I'm neither of those things and the thought of eating snatch makes me a little queasy.

Then again I'm a het woman
2012-09-27 08:44:25 PM
1 votes:

bugontherug: Turbo Cojones: zappaisfrank: Skleenar: ManateeGag: Too bad my wife isn't into it.

How can this be? I've done a ton of research on this, and EVERY woman in EVERY research film I have seen on the subject LOVES it.

Had a girlfriend once that wasn't into it..giving OR receiving.

/it didn't last..thankfully.

The only ones with similar stigma that I have encountered were semi-practicing religious cultists. Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses to be specific.

No loss. Ditch the crazies.

I had a girlfriend once who was too sensitive for it.


I should add, I'm inclined to believe her, because when I was younger I was too sensitive for some things too.
2012-09-27 06:52:33 PM
1 votes:

zappaisfrank: Skleenar: ManateeGag: Too bad my wife isn't into it.

How can this be? I've done a ton of research on this, and EVERY woman in EVERY research film I have seen on the subject LOVES it.

Had a girlfriend once that wasn't into it..giving OR receiving.

/it didn't last..thankfully.



I'm really not into it at all; it's just not enough stimulation, and i feel uncomfortable laying there doing nothing. My mind starts to wander, and then the whole house of cards comes down soon thereafter.


/more than happy to give, but receiving - meh
2012-09-27 06:51:28 PM
1 votes:
Really?
Really?
WTF has happened to Fark??
24.media.tumblr.com
2012-09-27 06:31:14 PM
1 votes:
As someone said earlier in the thread, if you don't go down on your girl, and you call yourself a straight male, you are either gay, or suck at sex. Man up and do it, or stop dating wildebeests.
2012-09-27 06:09:22 PM
1 votes:

zappaisfrank: [www.makli.us image 600x300]

Lick..the alphabet..


That's exactly what this song is about :-) 

We're going down, down, down, if that's the only way

2 make this cruel, cruel world hear what we've got to say

Put the right letters together and make a better day
2012-09-27 05:41:22 PM
1 votes:
a) Moderate pressure with flat tongue, starting at the perineum, slow lick up to the clit.

b) Firm pressure with the front of the tongue on the clit hood (avoiding the exposed clit itself), low frequency licking (approx 1 Hz) with full mouth contact

c) Very light pressure with the tip of the tongue, flicking the exposed clit as rapidly as possible with little or no mouth contact.

Mix & match all of the above until desired results are achieved. Simultaneous manual stroking of the mons, inner thighs, butt and everywhere in between helps greatly, too.
2012-09-27 05:40:49 PM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: Being a woman, I can tell you that what you eat does affect your Ph levels, which can affect your womanly discharges and your menstrual flow (have I grossed you out enough yet?). Heavier levels of both can, well, ferment, and lead to nasty odors and/or tastes. Now I don't know for sure if lots of greasy food = smelly crotch, but an adventuresome Farker might get some good grant money to find out.


My OB-GYN once told me that the "fish odor" comes from an allergic reaction to the guy's sperm. A Ph level intolerance, really. It's happened a few times. A week-long regimen of prescription ointment (applied nightly) clears it up.
2012-09-27 05:36:27 PM
1 votes:

Via Infinito: Yeah, we're all different. I just think that the soft pliable tongue is great for some things, but penetration isn't one of them. I guess I just like hard cock for that. YMMV.


From a purely technical standpoint, getting the tongue down into the vag at the beginning of the session is a good way to spread the lubricating moisture around to the other areas, so it's not just saliva smearing around the clit, labia, etc.

But yeah, Mrs_Fab does get a little ansty if I keep doing that and don't pay close to 100% attention to Miss Klitty later in the going.
2012-09-27 05:23:55 PM
1 votes:

Via Infinito: abb3w: Via Infinito: I've only ever not been into it when he sucked at it.

I was under the impression that biting too hard was a more frequent no-no....

LOL. My bad. I meant that I've only ever not been into it when the guy was just really bad at it.

So here are some tips for the guys out there: Sucking is okay. Some gentle nibbling is okay (NOT THE CLIT). Doing the ABC's is a clear winner every time. And don't try to use your tongue like a penis and shove it in the vag. It does NOTHING for us.


Depends on the woman (shocking, I know). I've had some women who *hated* the ABC thing and some who thought the tongue in the vag was freaking awesome.
2012-09-27 05:15:46 PM
1 votes:

EnviroDude: Sarah Silverman is to comedy what Sandra Bernhart is to beauty.


And Mitt Romney is to politics.
2012-09-27 05:10:07 PM
1 votes:
I'm definitely pro-vagitarianism
2012-09-27 05:00:28 PM
1 votes:
i.cdn.turner.com

"Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I'm going to cut your farking throat."
2012-09-27 04:59:51 PM
1 votes:

Expolaris: ferretman: HotWingConspiracy: I thought we all moved on to analingus while we tweak the vag. Am I out of the loop?

Tongue-punching-the-fart-box.....all is fun during sexy time.

[scrapetv.com image 565x368]
/Sometimes in the heat of the moment...


You know that's NOT what the term "ass-to-mouth" means, right?
2012-09-27 04:55:34 PM
1 votes:
One of my favorite things about eating pussy, besides the obvious, is going around all the next day with the residuals in my mustache, so I can turn my top lip upwards so that my mustache is right under my nose and taking a long SNIFFFFF.

Good stuff...Mrs. ZIF approves as well!
2012-09-27 04:52:10 PM
1 votes:

Amurica...Fark Ya!: /Gross, unless you are older than 50 I guess


You've never actually had sex with a woman, have you?
2012-09-27 04:51:57 PM
1 votes:

Fluorescent Testicle: DeltaPunch: Maybe it's their diet? I dated a (white) girl in college that subsisted on french fries, meat, chicken fingers, fried foods -- basically pure junk food -- and I nearly gagged when I went down on her. I've since dated two vegetarians, both of whom exercise, drink lots of water, eat healthy, etc., and they both smelled super clean all the time, like zero odor at all.

I've personally never noticed a difference from their diet alone, but a lazy diet can indicate lazy bathing habits. Sounds like Lil' Miss Junk Food just didn't like washing herself where it mattered.


Being a woman, I can tell you that what you eat does affect your Ph levels, which can affect your womanly discharges and your menstrual flow (have I grossed you out enough yet?). Heavier levels of both can, well, ferment, and lead to nasty odors and/or tastes. Now I don't know for sure if lots of greasy food = smelly crotch, but an adventuresome Farker might get some good grant money to find out.
2012-09-27 04:32:23 PM
1 votes:

Via Infinito: And don't try to use your tongue like a penis and shove it in the vag. It does NOTHING for us.


You should spend an evening with the last two women I've slept with (at the same time...I'll be in my bunk). Try that last one, and once your ears stop ringing (from the screaming O) and the blood returns to your head (from the thigh-clamping), let me know if you still believe that.

PROTIP: Women are built differently. About the only physiologically consistent thing is the parts. How they react to the same stimulus can vary greatly. Which is why I'm trying to get a comprehensive list of all sexual behaviors supported/rejected by women, one at a time.

// celebrated giver of oral
// a bi chick told me I could give some lesbians a run for their money
// she may just have been flattering me (post-coital compliments are notoriously exaggerated)
2012-09-27 04:32:04 PM
1 votes:
One of my favorite things in the bedroom. It's not even entirely about the dive itself, it's the lead-up. The part where you get to open with a kiss, then slowly trail kisses down her front, exploring every part of her on the way down, until you reach your final destination. Glorious.

Via Infinito: Doing the ABC's is a clear winner every time.

Always a favorite, but personally, I prefer to actually spell out words and sentences. Makes it more spontaneous than the pattern of the ABCs. Probably doesn't make a practical difference, but it's just a thing I do.
2012-09-27 04:08:03 PM
1 votes:

Via Infinito: So here are some tips for the guys out there: Sucking is okay. Some gentle nibbling is okay (NOT THE CLIT). Doing the ABC's is a clear winner every time. And don't try to use your tongue like a penis and shove it in the vag. It does NOTHING for us.


Too many rules. I'll be downstairs watching football if you need me.
2012-09-27 03:58:10 PM
1 votes:
i219.photobucket.com
2012-09-27 03:38:01 PM
1 votes:

CommieTaoist: Via Infinito: I've only ever not been into it when he sucked at it.

Well there's your problem.


You're right. Women are probably WAY better at it.
2012-09-27 03:22:14 PM
1 votes:

downstairs: ManateeGag: Add me to the list of Love to do it and not single. Too bad my wife isn't into it.


Wow.  I've never met a woman who wasn't into it.


I've only ever not been into it when he sucked at it.
2012-09-27 02:52:57 PM
1 votes:
Hot and funny AS ALWAYS. She's not on my TV enough.

cdn.breitbart.com
2012-09-27 02:01:09 PM
1 votes:

baka-san: Dear Sara: That was immature and you should be stuck in detention(cause it was about at 8th grade humor level)

Dear Breibart: Please come out of the closet coffin, you will be happier and will cause less damage so we can shoot your ass with a shotgun, you zombie bastard.


Fixed.
2012-09-27 01:54:36 PM
1 votes:
Headso: Are super religious freaks allowed to perform oral without going to hell? I am not clear on the rules... I know super freaks have no problem with it.

If God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system.
2012-09-27 01:49:05 PM
1 votes:

Headso: Are super religious freaks allowed to perform oral without going to hell? I am not clear on the rules... I know super freaks have no problem with it.


I think it's OK if you cut a hole in a sheet and stick your tongue through it.
2012-09-27 01:35:32 PM
1 votes:
Are super religious freaks allowed to perform oral without going to hell? I am not clear on the rules... I know super freaks have no problem with it.
2012-09-27 01:34:11 PM
1 votes:
???

What if the Onion was the real world, and every other media outlet was satire?

That makes as much sense as this blog.
2012-09-27 01:30:10 PM
1 votes:

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: As much as it pains me to say this... In Breitbart's defense, it was a crude comment directed towards Romney.


Aye. It was crude. Silverman deserves a good tongue lashing!
2012-09-27 01:14:23 PM
1 votes:
In my mind, a woman is like an all you can eat buffet. Pay the ten dollars, ignore the germ barrier, and dive right in.
2012-09-27 01:01:34 PM
1 votes:
I like to call it The Vagina Dialogues
2012-09-27 12:28:52 PM
1 votes:
By the way ladies, I love it.

/not single
 
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