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(Huffington Post)   18 year-old hottie slips out of cuffs, steals police SUV, and leads cops on a 100 mph chase before hitting a spike strip and rolling the vehicle. Well, she's probably hot. It's hard to tell with all the blood   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 65
    More: Dumbass, Shelby Figueroa, SUV, Shelby Township, motor vehicle theft, Ray Woods, Seattle Police, spike strip, WHP-TV  
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28463 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2012 at 2:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-27 10:50:57 AM
localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-09-27 11:00:51 AM

Sybarite: [localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com image 370x226]


 
 
The Marrage of Figueroa?
 
 

  
 
2012-09-27 11:37:32 AM
hummmm nimble, flexible co-ed that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty.

A little young for me but I can work with that.
 
2012-09-27 11:42:39 AM
The blood just makes it sexier. This is what B-action flicks have conditioned me to believe.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-09-27 11:46:44 AM
Kinda want because she's a good driver. I admit the initial crash was bad, but she held off pursuing police for a half hour of high speed mountain driving as they tried to run her off the road. And that's while she was under the influence. Imagine what she could do sober. Probably spend all her time yapping on the cell phone causing wrecks as she swerves between lanes. Oh well, a dream dashed.
 
2012-09-27 12:39:05 PM
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
Facebook while it's up.
 
2012-09-27 02:38:33 PM
OR she was dating Chris Brown. One of the two.
 
2012-09-27 02:39:08 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: hummmm nimble, flexible co-ed that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty.

A little young for me but I can work with that.


Sorry but the anti-handcuff thing is a deal breaker
 
2012-09-27 02:40:01 PM

NashMcNash: OR she was dating Chris Brown. One of the two.


Maybe both, you never know.
 
2012-09-27 02:46:36 PM
Looks like she cleans up nice. To bad she's facing so much time.

Waddya think she was on Meth?
 
2012-09-27 02:47:05 PM
That reminds me... I haven't hit the teen section of RedTube in a while.
 
2012-09-27 02:47:38 PM
Did she at least hit the lights and siren?
 
2012-09-27 02:48:04 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [profile.ak.fbcdn.net image 180x240]
Facebook while it's up.


how's that saying go? don't stick your dick in cra- oohhh, she's hot!
 
2012-09-27 02:48:50 PM

ProfessorOhki: Did she at least hit the lights and siren?


The answer is "yes." Dunno if it was in TFA, but it was in another I read earlier this week.
 
2012-09-27 02:51:21 PM
CORRECTION: A previous version of this story incorrectly stated, "Authorities say they first encouraged Figueroa on Sunday morning..." The sentence has been updated to say, "Authorities say they first encountered Figueroa on Sunday morning."
 
2012-09-27 02:51:25 PM
i.huffpost.com

Friction burns ... on her face.
 
2012-09-27 02:52:58 PM
 
2012-09-27 02:53:08 PM
I was told she was fourteen when i read this originally.
 
2012-09-27 02:53:17 PM

walkerhound: ProfessorOhki: Did she at least hit the lights and siren?

The answer is "yes." Dunno if it was in TFA, but it was in another I read earlier this week.


Excellent. The only thing could have made it better is if, after she rolled it, she got out and started calmly walking towards the police as the SUV exploded.
 
2012-09-27 02:54:01 PM
She's gonna be real popular in prison. Gay for the stay baby!
 
2012-09-27 02:56:02 PM
I'd hit it. But it looks like she's been hit. By a train.
 
2012-09-27 02:57:37 PM

walkerhound: "We're westbound 224. Speeds are 100," a state trooper told dispatchers. " She's got lights and sirens on in the deputy's car. It's an unmarked white Expedition, Excursion."

LOL, I'm imagining some campy 80s Burt Reynolds movie music playing on the stereo.


"West Bound and Down"
 
2012-09-27 02:57:46 PM

BigBooper: Looks like she cleans up nice. To bad she's facing so much time.


Hey, to paraphrase the words of George Costanza, you'll have a great opportunity to discover something even better than conjugal visit sex... *fugitive sex*.
 
2012-09-27 02:58:53 PM
I think I know where the CIA should send a recruiter.
 
2012-09-27 02:58:57 PM
Hot like road rash.
 
2012-09-27 03:02:43 PM
They got Thelma.

What happened to Louise?
 
ows
2012-09-27 03:02:56 PM
thats one funny banner headline.

coming soon to adult swim?
 
2012-09-27 03:03:53 PM

Sybarite: [localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com image 370x226]


In the left pic, she kinda looks like my gf's daughter. Incidentally, this is the kind of shiat my gf's daughter would pull, because she's 19 and knows everything and the effing laws don't apply to her.

How the HELL do you wind up with 2 DUI's and an underage drinking ticket (not to mention 4 "normal" moving violations) within one year of getting your license?

Express train to Failville, now leaving the station.
 
2012-09-27 03:08:14 PM

Sybarite: [localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com image 370x226]


At first I was like...then I was...
 
2012-09-27 03:08:57 PM
"Nico It is me your cousin"
 
2012-09-27 03:09:04 PM

Sybarite: [localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com image 370x226]


Your name + picture =
imageshack.us
 
2012-09-27 03:13:14 PM
the "correction" at the bottom made me LOL
 
2012-09-27 03:17:47 PM
And I'm supposed to believe that those injuries are from the crash, not from making the cops look bad?

/dnrta, just stirring things up
//too lazy to link to the guy who stole the cops gun in court, shot him in the face and jumped out the window.
///the next time he made it into the court room his mother started screaming when she saw him. Apparently he had landed on his face. Both sides.
////cops are humans too
 
2012-09-27 03:18:17 PM
she had a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
 
2012-09-27 03:21:16 PM

aspAddict: How the HELL do you wind up with 2 DUI's and an underage drinking ticket (not to mention 4 "normal" moving violations) within one year of getting your license?


How the HELL do you not wind up in a threesome with your gf whose daughter looks and behaves like that?
 
2012-09-27 03:26:26 PM
One time I got caught up on the periphery of a "I ain't going to stop for you cops" chase, The cops had flattened all four of the guys tires with nail strips and surrounded him in a rolling barricade and yet the driver refused to stop until they finally forced him to the curb. They pulled him out and he was obviously drunk and had a smug attitude in that he had just "stuck it to the man." Shortly after, traffic was cleared and I went home. I saw a news item later that night and that poor man must have been a lot drunker than I thought because he had fallen down and hit his face a number of times between when the cops got him out of the car and he got his mug shot taken. It's a wonder he could have driven at all....
 
2012-09-27 03:28:00 PM
We could blame GTA for making kids do this but it's been over 4 years since the last one. Maybe we should blame the lack of GTA for making kids do this.
 
2012-09-27 03:31:59 PM
At my old high school we had a disaster like this. Her dad owned a dealership or something. From day one after she got her liscense she was crashing cars she must have had a new car every month and a half. She even hit a car in the school parking lot and drove off in front of witnesses. I think they did revoke her liscense. Scared teh shiat outta me seeing her behinds the wheel of a car. Glad she didnt have a car phone (pre cell phone days).
 
2012-09-27 03:37:01 PM

NashMcNash: OR she was dating Chris Brown. One of the two.


Ba dum tsh
 
2012-09-27 03:37:15 PM
I got away from the cops once. That state patrolwoman learned that if you are going to stand by your car radar gunning cars right before an exit, LEAVE THE PATROL CAR RUNNING.
 
2012-09-27 03:38:36 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [profile.ak.fbcdn.net image 180x240]
Facebook while it's up.


Well, she's got on enough make-up for a 40-year old tranny. If that doesn't spell "hot" I don't know what does.
 
2012-09-27 03:47:03 PM
Shelby Figueroa, Teen Girl

I guess that's a better title than Martha Raye, Denture Wearer
 
2012-09-27 03:47:59 PM
Somebody cue up the Allstate Mayhem commercial in the Pink Durango.
 
2012-09-27 03:51:59 PM

walkerhound: aspAddict: How the HELL do you wind up with 2 DUI's and an underage drinking ticket (not to mention 4 "normal" moving violations) within one year of getting your license?

How the HELL do you not wind up in a threesome with your gf whose daughter looks and behaves like that?


...

*ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Go oooooooooon...
 
2012-09-27 04:01:01 PM
so she was driving with Chris Brown?
 
2012-09-27 04:03:55 PM
Ever think that hopping out the window of a police cruiser going 60 mph was a good idea? This lady did.

I wonder what her overall game plan was in the event that she somehow didn't get thrashed on the hiway. Or was she just pulling an Indiana Jones and making it up as she went along.
 
2012-09-27 04:07:23 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: I got away from the cops once. That state patrolwoman learned that if you are going to stand by your car radar gunning cars right before an exit, LEAVE THE PATROL CAR RUNNING.


I have the same story only the dumb woman locked herself out of her car! lol!

/nothing has ever never happened as much as your post
//except for my post.
 
2012-09-27 04:10:05 PM
Hard to seperate the "injuries sustained in the MVA" from the "resisted arrest" that may or may not be in the report.
 
2012-09-27 04:10:54 PM

ZzeusS: That reminds me... I haven't hit the teen section of RedTube in a while.


red tube will not load correctly . The page is all in text. A friend now switched to Youjizz. any way to fix redtube would be appreciated.Same problem at slutload. I mean I have heard of these two problem sites..
 
2012-09-27 04:20:31 PM

swangoatman: ZzeusS: That reminds me... I haven't hit the teen section of RedTube in a while.

red tube will not load correctly . The page is all in text. A friend now switched to Youjizz. any way to fix redtube would be appreciated.Same problem at slutload. I mean I have heard of these two problem sites..


My friend's never used youjizz, but he sayswas xnxx and xhamster appear to be working at this time. He will be checking red tube and slutload to see if the problem is fixed
 
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