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(NBC Chicago)   Pilot hears enough, turns this plane around and goes home   (nbcchicago.com) divider line 118
    More: Hero, Chicago, O'Hare International  
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34216 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2012 at 8:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-26 07:28:11 PM
Don't make me turn this thing around.
 
2012-09-26 07:53:41 PM
I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.
 
2012-09-26 08:05:22 PM
I dare you throw your sandwich at the pilot!
 
2012-09-26 08:05:48 PM
You're only supposed to have to go back if the flight crew goes bananas, cabin crew doesn't matter
 
2012-09-26 08:05:58 PM

Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.


Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.
 
2012-09-26 08:06:39 PM
SkyLaw!
 
2012-09-26 08:07:31 PM
Seriously?

I can save you a trillion with one idea.
 
2012-09-26 08:08:09 PM
Look, just lock the flight crew in the cockpit with a reinforced/armored door. Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn. Put us all through a basic metal detector and let us funnel onto the plane. FFS.
 
2012-09-26 08:08:26 PM

DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.


Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.
 
2012-09-26 08:08:29 PM
It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.
 
2012-09-26 08:12:30 PM
Better than telling them to get out and walk, I guess.
 
2012-09-26 08:13:29 PM
The pilot exited the cabin and addressed the attendants, "Shut up, and sit down, now."

They complied.

The pilot reentered the cockpit, and drove the mtf plane.
 
2012-09-26 08:14:25 PM
At least there was no smoking!
 
2012-09-26 08:15:38 PM
The end of the article burns with stupid.
 
2012-09-26 08:16:09 PM

Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.


Being a frequent traveler, I can understand where you're coming from. However, based on what we've seen regarding airline security operations in recent times, were I in the pilot's shoes, and assuming the two flight attendants were really arguing to the point of "having an issue", I would probably do my best to get out of the situation prior to anything occurring that might require involvement of the authorities.

That's the longest sentence I have ever written.
 
2012-09-26 08:17:18 PM
It had to be United.
 
2012-09-26 08:17:52 PM
I thought this was a repeat from last week, but it's apparently somewhat frequent.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-26 08:18:03 PM
Bin Laden's corpse is at the bottom of the sea laughing its ass off.
 
2012-09-26 08:18:13 PM

Mugato: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


Yep. Douche
 
2012-09-26 08:20:17 PM
Regardless of whether it was two dudes, two chicks, or a mixed pair, it was still a catfight. And that, my friends, is in-flight entertainment at its best.

/ Lucky bastards
 
2012-09-26 08:21:55 PM

Indubitably: The pilot exited the cabin and addressed the attendants, "Shut up, and sit down, now."

They complied.

The pilot reentered the cockpit, and drove the mtf plane.


Comma error.
 
2012-09-26 08:25:46 PM

DoctorCal: It had to be United.


They were fighting over grazing rights.
 
2012-09-26 08:26:56 PM

Mugato: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


And I thought that would have been an second-season episode of "Pan Am".
 
2012-09-26 08:27:32 PM

Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.


bp2.blogger.com
 
2012-09-26 08:31:11 PM

fusillade762: Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.

[bp2.blogger.com image 400x223]


To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.
 
2012-09-26 08:35:42 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

I'm thinking two air hostesses fighting over the male attendant, who turns out to be gay.
 
2012-09-26 08:36:01 PM
United sucks its own weight in ass.
 
2012-09-26 08:39:30 PM
Like the Captain couldn't tell them to sit the hell down and STFU?

No balls, no four stripes.

Fire the wimpy--ass bastard.
 
2012-09-26 08:39:36 PM

Indubitably: fusillade762: Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.

[bp2.blogger.com image 400x223]

To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.


That's the dumbest thing I've read here in a while.
 
2012-09-26 08:41:26 PM
"Do NOT make me pull over and smack your asses!"
 
2012-09-26 08:41:30 PM

RayD8: Indubitably: fusillade762: Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.

[bp2.blogger.com image 400x223]

To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

That's the dumbest thing I've read here in a while.


Why is it dumb, sir?

Please explicate your incredulity, please.

Thank you.
 
2012-09-26 08:42:26 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.


You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.
 
2012-09-26 08:42:32 PM
Having lived in Raleigh and flown that route many times I'm sure I've met some of those stewardesses before. There was not one single attractive chick in the lot.

/Singapore Airlines stewardesses FTW
 
2012-09-26 08:43:52 PM

Mugato: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


You'd have preferred the passengers deal with it?

[ponders]

Maybe that would have been better...
 
2012-09-26 08:44:21 PM
And just for fun, here's a classic Sound is NSFW
 
2012-09-26 08:45:28 PM

fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.


So. What.

You have an inflated impression of what a pilot's job is.
 
2012-09-26 08:45:46 PM
Then there is American.....pilots wait for the plane to be loaded, then call in maintenance because the thought they saw a scratch during their walk-a-round, or to fix a reading light on 16C. Even more fun.....lets wait for 5 minutes before departure to take a flight to Tokyo (777 PACKED to the gills with cargo, luggage and catering) out of service! Enjoy your 4 hour delay suckers!!!!

/Catering American SUCKS right now.
//works in industry....getting a kick....ect
 
2012-09-26 08:46:45 PM
Eh. Too many flight attendants are borderline nuts anyway, in my experience.

If the pilot, in his judgment, though he had a psycho biatch physically assaulting another flight attendant on the plane, he was more than right to try to get her the fark off the plane. There have been cases mentioned here on Fark where passengers feared for their personal safety because flight attendants were losing their shiat, and that shouldn't be tolerated.
 
2012-09-26 08:49:07 PM

Indubitably: RayD8: Indubitably: fusillade762: Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.

[bp2.blogger.com image 400x223]

To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

That's the dumbest thing I've read here in a while.

Why is it dumb, sir?

Please explicate your incredulity, please.

Thank you.


I won't be drawn in and have to suffer your inevitable random ramblings.
No feed for you today.

Thank you.
 
2012-09-26 08:52:43 PM

Barkley2011: Then there is American.....pilots wait for the plane to be loaded, then call in maintenance because the thought they saw a scratch during their walk-a-round, or to fix a reading light on 16C. Even more fun.....lets wait for 5 minutes before departure to take a flight to Tokyo (777 PACKED to the gills with cargo, luggage and catering) out of service! Enjoy your 4 hour delay suckers!!!!

/Catering American SUCKS right now.
//works in industry....getting a kick....ect


Right, it's much better to take off with a potential lawsuit hanging off the wing.

Pilots don't get paid any more for hanging around the airport waiting for the plane to be swapped out, and most of them don't really like sitting in the crew lounge for the 4 extra hours any more than passengers like sitting in the waiting room. It's not like they delay the plane and then go off for a tour of the city.
 
2012-09-26 08:52:45 PM

freewill: Eh. Too many flight attendants are borderline nuts anyway, in my experience.

If the pilot, in his judgment, though he had a psycho biatch physically assaulting another flight attendant on the plane, he was more than right to try to get her the fark off the plane. There have been cases mentioned here on Fark where passengers feared for their personal safety because flight attendants were losing their shiat, and that shouldn't be tolerated.


Where was the Air Marshal?

Where was the Terrorist/Extreme Situation Sit-Down, or TESSD?

Where was the "No duh."

Where was the "Are we professionals in a workplace, or are we functionally-retarded?"

Where was the "Seriously."

Seriously.
 
2012-09-26 08:53:23 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.

So. What.

You have an inflated impression of what a pilot's job is.


Really? You speak from your vast experience as one? Because while I'm not an airline or commercial pilot for that matter, I do have my PPL and have some idea regarding the demands of piloting an aircraft in adverse conditions. Although, I will freely admit that flight crew arguing just requires a figurative (or literal) biatch slap. While I can't say I agree with the course of action, I also don't actually know what happened, or the circumstances on the aircraft when the pilot made the decision. That said, your impression of a pilot's job seems to be just generally misinformed.

Granted the vast majority is boring monotony, but come on. You should be able to appreciate the training and experience that go into making sure that passengers get safely on the ground when shiat hits the fan. While their job may be to get us from point A to point B, their priorities are significantly more demanding.
 
2012-09-26 08:53:51 PM

RayD8: Indubitably: RayD8: Indubitably: fusillade762: Honest Bender: Everyone else bought their ticket, let them burn.

[bp2.blogger.com image 400x223]

To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

That's the dumbest thing I've read here in a while.

Why is it dumb, sir?

Please explicate your incredulity, please.

Thank you.

I won't be drawn in and have to suffer your inevitable random ramblings.
No feed for you today.

Thank you.


Easy out.

Boo.
 
2012-09-26 08:54:33 PM
First thing I thought of is this. 
 
2012-09-26 08:57:23 PM

fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.



You're right -- they're well-trained bus drivers.

/ not that there's anything wrong with that -- bus drivers are also responsible for passenger safety
// a bus having a head-on with an overpass pylon would be about as healthy for its passengers as as a plane impacting the ground
 
2012-09-26 08:57:46 PM

Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.


I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...
 
2012-09-26 08:59:03 PM

Mugato: Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


You've obviously not been around enough pilots. The only more risk-averse people in the free world are the engineers at NASA. If they don't know for certain what's going on inside their plane, it's going to the ground as fast as they can safely get it there.

And some of them are royal pricks, I'll give you that.
 
2012-09-26 09:02:35 PM
If I heard "IMMA GONNA CUT YOU BIATCH", I would do some turning back.
 
2012-09-26 09:02:45 PM

rolladuck: The only more risk-averse people in the free world are the engineers at NASA.


Yes, nothing says "risk-averse" like strapping people atop thousands of gallons of fuel & liquid oxygen and lighting it on fire.
 
2012-09-26 09:03:42 PM

Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...


Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.
 
2012-09-26 09:04:06 PM
Right, it's much better to take off with a potential lawsuit hanging off the wing.

Pilots don't get paid any more for hanging around the airport waiting for the plane to be swapped out, and most of them don't really like sitting in the crew lounge for the 4 extra hours any more than passengers like sitting in the waiting room. It's not like they delay the plane and then go off for a tour of the city.


Normally I'd agree with you there, but you obviously aren't aware of the shenanigans the pilots union are up to. They're delaying planes to "hurt American". Doesn't make sense to me, but since the judge let American throw out the contract, the number of OTS aircraft at the gate here at DFW has gone from 0 to 5 or 6 a day to 15 to 25. Has made my work a living hell ever since......

/Can't say I blame the pilots....I'd be pissed too if I watched the Execs take huge bonuses while crying about low revenues.
//Oh wait, they do that at my company too!
 
2012-09-26 09:05:01 PM

bojon: If I heard "IMMA GONNA CUT YOU BIATCH", I would do some turning back.


Your name suggests otherwisely?
 
2012-09-26 09:06:37 PM
Mrs. Fister is a retired flight attendant and is really getting a kick out of this story.
 
2012-09-26 09:11:16 PM

Indubitably: Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...

Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.


media.skateboard.com.au
 
2012-09-26 09:12:33 PM

RoyBatty: I thought this was a repeat from last week, but it's apparently somewhat frequent.

[i.imgur.com image 564x701]


I'm going to need video, or it didn't happen!
 
2012-09-26 09:13:55 PM

Honest Bender: Indubitably: Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...

Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.

[media.skateboard.com.au image 452x339]


Turning around a flight and creating a national emergency is no joke, sir.
 
2012-09-26 09:14:02 PM
Damn, they must have been up there on hell of a long time before he decided to RTB... United retired the rest of their 737 classics years ago...
 
2012-09-26 09:17:15 PM
"Of course apologize to our customers," said United spokeswoman Christen David.

Are they using the Cheney Method?
 
2012-09-26 09:27:04 PM

Indubitably: Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...

Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.


Some with derp apparently.
 
2012-09-26 09:27:59 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.

So. What.

You have an inflated impression of what a pilot's job is.


And of what "in control" is.
 
2012-09-26 09:28:10 PM

RayD8: Indubitably: Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...

Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.

Some with derp apparently.


Please define "derp" in your world, sir.
 
2012-09-26 09:30:38 PM

Indubitably: RayD8: Indubitably: Honest Bender: Indubitably: To wish harm on anyone is a rich person's leisure, sir.

I know, right? Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other. And don't even get me started on those hoity-toity Ugandan rebels...

Wow.

Please define "rich" in your world, sir.

i.e. Some men get drunk with alcohol; some men get drunk with physicality; some men get drunk with sex; some men get drunk with money; some men get drunk with power; no matter what, men get drunk.

Some with derp apparently.

Please define "derp" in your world, sir.


And if you say "me" or "you," you are selling short, and you know it.

Get over us.

Please.

Thank you.
 
2012-09-26 09:31:14 PM
Indubitably is the first person I've had to put on ignore, and I've been here a while.
 
2012-09-26 09:32:13 PM
Too bad it wasn't Hooters Airlines, Jello biking wrestling anyone.
 
2012-09-26 09:34:53 PM

Bathysphere: Indubitably is the first person I've had to put on ignore, and I've been here a while.


Seriously.

I show up every few days, lay some mind on you, and you ignore me.

Sometimes I'm funny.

And you lay some ignore on me.

Ignore back, hater.

P.S. When all you ignore is all you adore you are NOT funny.
 
2012-09-26 09:38:20 PM
TFA: "Of course apologize to our customers," said United spokeswoman Christen David.

I love this. It sounds like the spokeswoman is instructing the reporter to apologize for them.

"Yeah, put in a quote of us apologizing. Make it sound like we care about the cattle. Something real sincere-like."
 
2012-09-26 09:42:28 PM
There would have been a riot but the passengers realized this meant they wouldn't actually have to go to Chicago.
 
BOOYAH! 
 
THIN CRUST!
 
2012-09-26 09:42:45 PM

DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.


That, and it's the flight attendants that are the power-drunk.
 
2012-09-26 09:43:11 PM

BarkingUnicorn: AverageAmericanGuy: fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.

So. What.

You have an inflated impression of what a pilot's job is.

And of what "in control" is.


For the sake of argument:

"If it was my flight, no one need worry about anything other than turbulence, for I expect a safe flight, free of drama, that is all."

P.S. If you aren't the Captain of the Ship, wtf are you?
 
2012-09-26 09:46:31 PM
Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?
 
2012-09-26 09:49:37 PM

darkone: Too bad it wasn't Hooters Airlines, Jello biking wrestling anyone.


The bikes might be tricky in the aisles.
I like the concept.
 
2012-09-26 09:49:53 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?


"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.
 
2012-09-26 09:50:46 PM

Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?

"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.


Such is life in America, no?
 
2012-09-26 09:51:10 PM

GungFu: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 356x600]

I'm thinking two air hostesses fighting over the male attendant, who turns out to be gay.


I guess the author had never heard of the word, "steward?"
 
2012-09-26 09:51:26 PM
Did one of the flight attendants say "Oh Fudge"?

aeryssports.com
/hope she likes lifebuoy
 
2012-09-26 09:52:23 PM

Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?

"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.


Would you like some coffee?
 
2012-09-26 09:55:34 PM
"Of course apologize to our customers," said United spokeswoman Christen David.

Are... Are they telling us to apologize to the customers?
 
2012-09-26 09:56:28 PM

Mugato: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


he had to work with them for how long now, and he was tired of their crap. I can see the pilot's view. Sucks to be a passenger on United though. Like that wasn't already well known.
 
2012-09-26 09:59:41 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?

"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.

Would you like some coffee?


Black, like my men.
 
2012-09-26 10:01:07 PM
I think both stews need the Castle Anthrax consequence.

Do it on pay per view and the airline will recoup the extra fuel expense.
 
2012-09-26 10:01:09 PM
Fark this shiat ! I'M TAKING AMTRAK!!!
 
2012-09-26 10:01:28 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?

"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.

Would you like some coffee?


Nope, golden bean, currently?

I mean, yes?

Mean?
 
2012-09-26 10:11:52 PM
Airport investigators said no assault took place. There were no arrests and no charges were filed.

Haha, just a captain being very captainly and wanting to let his ego get some fresh air instead of keeping it all bottled up.
 
2012-09-26 10:12:36 PM
www.lady8844.com
There was a time when people working for airlines were well paid professionals.
 
2012-09-26 10:25:10 PM
Damned prima donna flight attendants should be fired for this shiat.
 
2012-09-26 10:42:30 PM
worst. airline. ever.

/dnrtfa
 
2012-09-26 10:44:11 PM

RoyBatty: I thought this was a repeat from last week, but it's apparently somewhat frequent.

[i.imgur.com image 564x701]


Thanks. I shouted, "AGAIN??" at my screen....then thought about that post from last week, then I read these comments to keep me from googling. Well played, sir...
 
2012-09-26 10:49:20 PM

smitty04: [www.lady8844.com image 355x497]
There was a time when people working for airlines were well paid professionals.


The Free Market® wants wage slaves, not well paid professionals.
 
2012-09-26 10:53:51 PM

impaler: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

That, and it's the flight attendants that are the power-drunk.


Or in this case, just drunk.
 
2012-09-26 11:15:57 PM
...You're right -- they're well-trained bus drivers.

/ not that there's anything wrong with that -- bus drivers are also responsible for passenger safety
// a bus having a head-on with an overpass pylon would be about as healthy for its passengers as as a plane impacting the ground


Flying a plane is just like riding a bicycle. Its just a LOT harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
 
2012-09-26 11:41:57 PM
"Of course apologize to our customers," said United spokeswoman Christen David.


having not much goodly englishing day someonebody.
 
2012-09-26 11:59:20 PM

smitty04: [www.lady8844.com image 355x497]
There was a time when people working for airlines were well paid professionals.


Hate to admit it but I remember when getting there was half the fun. Flying coach was luxurious compared to today's standards and there was no security the first time I flew. Going across the Atlantic I had 3 bulkhead seats all to myself. I actually curled up and tried to nap but I was having too much fun with the whole experience to sleep. Now I avoid flying as much as possible. I'd fly for an emergency but that's it.
 
2012-09-27 12:25:30 AM

Anaia: smitty04: [www.lady8844.com image 355x497]
There was a time when people working for airlines were well paid professionals.

Hate to admit it but I remember when getting there was half the fun. Flying coach was luxurious compared to today's standards and there was no security the first time I flew. Going across the Atlantic I had 3 bulkhead seats all to myself. I actually curled up and tried to nap but I was having too much fun with the whole experience to sleep. Now I avoid flying as much as possible. I'd fly for an emergency but that's it.


Me too.

Pilot or no.
 
2012-09-27 12:33:50 AM

Indubitably: Anaia: smitty04: [www.lady8844.com image 355x497]
There was a time when people working for airlines were well paid professionals.

Hate to admit it but I remember when getting there was half the fun. Flying coach was luxurious compared to today's standards and there was no security the first time I flew. Going across the Atlantic I had 3 bulkhead seats all to myself. I actually curled up and tried to nap but I was having too much fun with the whole experience to sleep. Now I avoid flying as much as possible. I'd fly for an emergency but that's it.

Me too.

Pilot or no.


As he came on deck, his crew bristled. They knew he was serious. They knew he would die for them. They knew he wouldn't lead them astray from knowledge and respect. They would 'ie for him too. He would never need lead them to 'ie.

And they knew if they flew straight with him, they'd never fear, for flight needs only lift and honesty and honor.

"Word, ensign, ahead," the Captain ordered.

They complied.
 
2012-09-27 12:49:46 AM

CameraMonkey: ...You're right -- they're well-trained bus drivers.

/ not that there's anything wrong with that -- bus drivers are also responsible for passenger safety
// a bus having a head-on with an overpass pylon would be about as healthy for its passengers as as a plane impacting the ground

Flying a plane is just like riding a bicycle. Its just a LOT harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.


Capt. Kramer, to the white courtesy telephone.
 
2012-09-27 01:05:05 AM

Gyrfalcon: CameraMonkey: ...You're right -- they're well-trained bus drivers.

/ not that there's anything wrong with that -- bus drivers are also responsible for passenger safety
// a bus having a head-on with an overpass pylon would be about as healthy for its passengers as as a plane impacting the ground

Flying a plane is just like riding a bicycle. Its just a LOT harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Capt. Kramer, to the white courtesy telephone.


Why do you do this?

Melanin is irrelevant.

Why?
 
2012-09-27 01:05:57 AM
Derace.
 
2012-09-27 01:07:15 AM
Good thing nobody on that plane had to be somewhere!

farking airlines.
 
2012-09-27 01:20:12 AM

Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Indubitably: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Nobody lined up to tell them to get a hold of themselves?

"Line up?"

WTF is yer fantasy here, man, b/c it's twisted.

Let's review: on a plane, people sit, mostly.

Would you like some coffee?

Nope, golden bean, currently?

I mean, yes?

Mean?


Oy. I'll take pity on you. This movie is a Fark favorite. Watch it and you'll understand. We're all counting on you.
 
2012-09-27 01:23:53 AM

Indubitably: Gyrfalcon: CameraMonkey: ...You're right -- they're well-trained bus drivers.

/ not that there's anything wrong with that -- bus drivers are also responsible for passenger safety
// a bus having a head-on with an overpass pylon would be about as healthy for its passengers as as a plane impacting the ground

Flying a plane is just like riding a bicycle. Its just a LOT harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Capt. Kramer, to the white courtesy telephone.

Why do you do this?

Melanin is irrelevant.

Why?




Watch the movie.
 
2012-09-27 01:56:23 AM

fmk040: Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.


Are you suggesting that's not true on a bus? Does your local bus include secondary controls for input from the passengers?

Yes, it requires more training to fly than to drive bus, and it's certainly more technically complicated. But you don't get to count the time working crap jobs because the same sort of career advancement applies to every other career in the world. And I really don't understand why you think a bus driver would be held any less responsible for killing everyone in their vehicle than a pilot would.

I respect pilots and I appreciate the effort and training and the like that they put into doing their jobs well and safely. I also appreciate the effort and training and the like that electrical linemen put into doing their jobs well and safely. Neither one needs nor should have the right to make up arbitrary rules about my behavior; they need only the right to protect themselves and others from imminent threat that all free men have.
 
2012-09-27 01:58:03 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.


You misunderestimate the fact that biatches be trippin'.
 
2012-09-27 02:00:04 AM

profplump: And I really don't understand why you think a bus driver would be held any less responsible for killing everyone in their vehicle than a pilot would.


Because if God had meant us to fly, he would have given us flying cars.
 
2012-09-27 02:11:17 AM

Mugato: DiRF: Mugato: I guess there's no "Post 9/11 commercial airline pilots are panicky power-drunk twats" tag.

Yes, because it's not like they've earned the right, through years of training and experience, and taking on the responsibility for every passenger's life, to have total control of what happens on the plane.

Turning the plane around and calling the cops because two stewardesses were arguing? That's being a douche just because he can.


Stewardesses are in charge of passenger safety. They have to direct the passengers in case of an emergency, be available someone gets sick or starts to have a baby, and respond to safety problems such as a passenger wigging out because their medication changed. (Just because the pilots and the plane are safe doesn't mean the passengers in the cabin are safe.) If the flight attendants are too busy with their own issues to attend to their safety responsibilities, then it makes sense for plan B to be landing the plane. Especially since it's so rare. Hundreds of domestic flights a day, and how often does this happen? As long as somebody gets fired, I'm fine with it.
 
2012-09-27 02:57:47 AM
Ok - which one of them shagged the pilot?
 
2012-09-27 04:45:03 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Having lived in Raleigh and flown that route many times I'm sure I've met some of those stewardesses before. There was not one single attractive chick in the lot.

/Singapore Airlines stewardesses FTW


i.imgur.com

Air Canada's finest
 
2012-09-27 05:15:06 AM
Flight attendants are required crew members. If they quit functioning it's a problem (at least with the FAA's rules, if not in reality).

The Pilot In Command is responsible for the safety of the flight. Which means if there is a problem with the flight attendants and the PIC doesn't address it, it becomes the pilot's fault. Might be a wee overreaction, but I'd guess CYA is in play here.
 
2012-09-27 07:13:08 AM

olddinosaur: Fire the wimpy--ass bastard.


Honest Bender: Damn those rich-ass gangsters running around shooting each other.


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-09-27 08:24:17 AM

Bathysphere: Indubitably is the first person I've had to put on ignore, and I've been here a while.


Too funny. Pretty much my only name on ignore... and I got a nice reminder from this thread just because of all the quoting of his trolling.
 
2012-09-27 09:56:13 AM
More interesting was the story (on Fark, I think) about both pilots out of the cockpit, fighting in the aisle, over one of the stewardesses, at 30,000 or so feet.

India Airlines.
 
2012-09-27 10:46:24 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: More interesting was the story (on Fark, I think) about both pilots out of the cockpit, fighting in the aisle, over one of the stewardesses, at 30,000 or so feet.

India Airlines.


I think they made a 7 hour musical about it.
 
2012-09-27 11:37:28 AM
Why can't they just let the stewardesses mud wrestle to settle their differences like civilized people?
 
2012-09-27 11:37:42 AM

GungFu: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 356x600]

I'm thinking two air hostesses fighting over the male attendant, who turns out to be gay.


The scary part is that paperback seems to be from the '70s.

Those people on the cover would be approaching their 70s.

/lawn, off.
 
2012-09-27 12:59:40 PM
So he wasted a shiatton of jet fuel, all of his passenger's time, just because of 2 birds?
 
2012-09-27 01:00:16 PM
God damn the filter here is farking stupid
 
2012-09-27 01:13:51 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fmk040: AverageAmericanGuy: It was a verbal altercation between a couple flight attendants. Jesus, guy. Have some perspective.

These are sub-5 hour flights. Everything will be fine as long as the aisles are kept clear. Since you're already in the air, just put that shiat on cruise control and let the crew sort their own issues. Passengers just want to get to where they are going.

You're glorified bus drivers. Just get us to our destinations. That's all we need you to do.

You know how I figured out you have no experience whatsoever with piloting aircraft? A bus driver gets his license, and gets a job. An airline pilot, gets his commercial license, then trains IFR, night flights, conversions to multi-engines, turbines and jets and flies from when he/she is between 200 - 3000 hours on low rent, hazardous routes to sparsely settled communities on call before the airlines even consider looking at them as "job material".
Much like the captain of a ship, the pilot of an aircraft is in control. From the moment he gets clearance, it is his plane, and the safety of everyone on-board, not your bloody convenience that matters.
Go DIAF.

So. What.

You have an inflated impression of what a pilot's job is.


You're a moron.

From a legal standpoint and a company policy standpoint, what the pilot did was justified. If the pilot had the chance to intervene in this incident and he didn't, he could be held liable for any damage/harm that occurs i.e. disciplined or fired. Go back to eating cheetos and flying planes in video games, you know-it-all child.
 
2012-09-27 02:18:37 PM

The Only Sane Man In Florida: From a legal standpoint and a company policy standpoint, what the pilot did was justified. If the pilot had the chance to intervene in this incident and he didn't, he could be held liable for any damage/harm that occurs i.e. disciplined or fired. Go back to eating cheetos and flying planes in video games, you know-it-all child.


Right, so anyone on the plane gets into a heated argument and the pilot gets to waste fuel and everyone's time to turn the plane around because...why, exactly? There was obviously no danger to the plane or the crew. It's post-9/11 hysteria and the pilot being an egomaniac, nothing more.
 
2012-09-27 08:14:16 PM
i.ytimg.com
 
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