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(Ben Maller)   Amazing Kreskin will attempt to give some of his mental magic to end the Orlando Magic 13-game losing streak   ( ) divider line 39
    More: Interesting  
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1494 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2003 at 2:03 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments   (+0 »)

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2003-11-26 01:30:23 PM  
Maybe he can try to conjure up good players to go along with T-Mac. Failing that, he should just try to insure that they get the #1 pick in next years draft...
2003-11-26 02:08:53 PM  
yeah, a guy with no provable talent whatsoever is going to do nothing substantive.. fascinating.
2003-11-26 02:09:38 PM  
Wow..... Makes me wanna go out and consult a psychic about being such a loser....... maybe he can create a psychic bond between me and the BANK!!!!......

2003-11-26 02:10:53 PM  
Let's all concentrate on his magic backfiring on him by making him spontaneously combust... now that would be something worth talking about... 8:05pm tonite, ok?
2003-11-26 02:11:08 PM  
T-Mac should've stayed with the Raptors...
2003-11-26 02:14:33 PM  
Hey watch this....Everyone think of a number between 1-50.
2003-11-26 02:15:20 PM  
Crescin is a Grade A idiot.

I used to love when he was on O&A. Those guys would razz the hell out of him.
2003-11-26 02:15:33 PM  
By concentrating on Clarence Witherspoon until he bends?
2003-11-26 02:16:07 PM  
If you read further you will see that the BUNGLES are selling playoff tickets!!!

hahahahaha Gooooo Bengals
2003-11-26 02:16:08 PM  
Well it is still probably more productive than what anyone else in the organization is doing.
2003-11-26 02:18:03 PM  
What sign of the apocalypse is it again when the Bengals start selling playoff tickets? And can you pay with implanted payment chips?
2003-11-26 02:19:13 PM  
Maybe he can convince the NBA to go to a one-on-one format instead of five-on-five. T-mac would least until his back gives out 30 mins into each game.
2003-11-26 02:21:16 PM  
I predict roughly the same level of success as Uri Geller had as the owner of a soccer team.

Kreskin always did skirt the dark side...
2003-11-26 02:22:10 PM  
I would concentrate on Reese Whitherspoon until she bends.
2003-11-26 02:23:21 PM  
I wonder if he'll help me with mine.

/can't get laid
2003-11-26 02:25:27 PM  
28 right?
2003-11-26 02:26:35 PM  
I heard that David Blaine is going to try to help the Celtics end their losing streak, by putting the whole team in a plastic box that will hang over the Thames.
2003-11-26 02:26:39 PM  
This classes as interesting but donations to American troops one link up is classed as stupid?

2003-11-26 02:28:21 PM  
The magic are too stinky.
2003-11-26 02:41:32 PM  
He should give them a little piece of his brain for safekeeping, like Hitler...
2003-11-26 02:43:28 PM  
He'll need to:

Heal Pat Garrity
Heal Grant Hill, and time-travel his ass back 5 years or so
Heal T-Mac's slump
Get Doc rehired.

And I think the 4th one would be the toughest of all.
2003-11-26 02:44:12 PM  
And by magic, I hope Kreskin means donating millions upon millions of dollars to get Carmello Anthony & LeBron James on Orlando's team so T-Mac doesn't have to pull the team...
2003-11-26 02:46:04 PM  
Yes, but what does he think about Duke?

2003-11-26 02:48:39 PM  
Duke Sucks.
2003-11-26 02:49:26 PM  
Kreskin? Hah, haven't heard anything from him since his visit to the O&A show a few years ago.
2003-11-26 02:52:35 PM  
And Penn and Teller will pick the 3 of clubs from behind the backboard and make fun of the Magic for believing in psychics.
2003-11-26 02:55:49 PM  
What do you think they're doing up there?

I don't know...drug lab?

Drug lab?!

Or reading comic books. What am I, Kreskin?
2003-11-26 02:59:38 PM  
Right.. and monkeys might fly out of my butt...
2003-11-26 03:03:10 PM  

So close. It was 29.
2003-11-26 03:05:58 PM  
Nothing short of a miracle is going to help that team.
2003-11-26 03:06:32 PM  
A protege of Uri Geller once tried to top his master by stopping a moving train with his awesome powers of telekenesis.

Out on the tracks he went, arms at the ready, staring down the approaching locomotive with an arched brow, unflinching as if he had the balls of ten men.

He got splattered, mind you.

But afterwards they discovered all the spoons in the dining car were bent.
2003-11-26 03:15:17 PM  
Back in high school, my journalism calss took a field trip to KOMO 4 in Seattle to watch "Northwest Afternoon". Kreskin was scheduled to appear, which I thought was kinda cool.

We showed up, and they herded us into a room. Kreskin came in and said, "Don't move your arm up, just think it up. If it goes up, you'll be with my on stage."

Needless to say, my arm rose. heh.

On stage, they're broadcasting the show, and it's live, so it's not time-delayed or anything. Kreskin brings us out and says, "Go ahead close your eyes... Now look, you can't open them."

The camera ZOOMED in on my face, I was later told, and caught me "trying" to open my eyes. I could have, but I really didn't want to, especially on live TV.

One girl, who was somewhat of an attention whore, decided that she couldn't open her eyes, even after Kreskin said to. He came over, all worried, and said, "When I touch you on the forehead, your eyes will open." - so he smacked her on the forehead. it was awesome. She opened her eyes and said while gasping, "Thank you so much."

That's my Kreskin story.
2003-11-26 03:18:07 PM  
I should have smacked you on the forehead ansiz - but thanks for playing along.
2003-11-26 03:28:12 PM  
I thought he was supposed to take care of that bin laden situation a long time ago.
2003-11-26 04:06:37 PM  
Where was Kreskin when the Tigers needed him this summer?
2003-11-26 04:29:39 PM  
The only thing lamer than Kreskin is the fact that FARK keeps linking to Ben Maller's site, when in reality he just quotes material from other sources (without actually using "quotation marks" so you might think it's his writing).

Here is the link to the actual article:

Orlando Sentinel writer Jerry Greene
2003-11-26 06:09:34 PM  
Kreskin was on Art Bell after his UFO stunt in Las Vegas. Art proceeded to rip him a new one because Kreskin was just doing a publicity stunt and used Art's show. Art hung up on him and did an offical bannination on Kreskin.
2003-11-26 10:25:37 PM  
Celtics 94, Magic 92. Not so amazing, Mr. Kreskin.
2003-11-26 11:52:14 PM  
If tonight's game showed us anything amazing, it's the performance of Vin Baker. Boston's a drinking town with a baseball problem, so hopefully this former alcoholic can lead the Green to banner #17.
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