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(Boston Herald)   JK Rowling writes 'adult' novel. Harry's wand unavailable for comment   (bostonherald.com) divider line 51
    More: Interesting, J. K. Rowling, non-disclosure agreement, Harry Potter  
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2424 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Sep 2012 at 2:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-26 12:30:02 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-26 12:30:43 PM
Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*
 
2012-09-26 12:41:35 PM
I put on my robe and wizard hat...

/ Fetch me my Elixir of Jergens and my gloves of dexterity
 
2012-09-26 12:43:29 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


Fifty Shades of the Grey Lady.
 
2012-09-26 01:07:38 PM
She must have woken up one day and realized "Dear God! According to the depth marker my money pile is down to a mere 23 fathoms!"
 
2012-09-26 01:13:18 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


I'd read that
 
2012-09-26 01:34:08 PM
I was at dinner with a bunch of authors the other night and I speculated that because it is Rowling, it could be six hundred pages of the word "What" and it will still hit the bestseller list.

But Paolo reminded us that because it is "Adult" it won't just be that. It will also have the word Balls.

What? Balls. WHAT? BALLS! What. Balls. What? Balls?
 
2012-09-26 01:45:24 PM
Who's Eating Godric's Gape?
 
2012-09-26 02:32:24 PM
Harry Potter And The Forest Of Embarrassment
 
2012-09-26 02:32:36 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine McGonagall?

 
2012-09-26 02:33:02 PM
TheRock.gif


/don't even need to actually post the picture anymore
//you know the one
 
2012-09-26 02:34:55 PM

Funbags: TheRock.gif


/don't even need to actually post the picture anymore
//you know the one


Yes, yes, but do you have the original?
 
2012-09-26 02:36:55 PM

unlikely: I was at dinner with a bunch of authors the other night and I speculated that because it is Rowling, it could be six hundred pages of the word "What" and it will still hit the bestseller list.

But Paolo reminded us that because it is "Adult" it won't just be that. It will also have the word Balls.

What? Balls. WHAT? BALLS! What. Balls. What? Balls?


Well, to be fair, the Harry Potter books were actually pretty well written. She had good stories, strong characters and decent pacing. I thought the extended camping in the last book got long, but everything else was pretty decent, especially considering it was juvenile fiction. Not the best books I ever read, but pretty good overall.

I agree, though, she'd probably make a mint off a book that just said 'What? Balls!'.
 
2012-09-26 02:50:27 PM

Mikey1969: I agree, though, she'd probably make a mint off a book that just said 'What? Balls!'.


Coming soon, look for the Oprah Book Club seal.
 
2012-09-26 02:56:50 PM
I didnt read the article, because fark that, is she writing her own slash fiction now?
 
2012-09-26 03:01:59 PM

kungfu jesus with a side of lime: I didnt read the article, because fark that, is she writing her own slash fiction now?


Mmmm, slash fiction.
 
2012-09-26 03:03:45 PM
What balls! What, balls? Balls, what?
 
2012-09-26 03:10:18 PM

Mikey1969: unlikely: I was at dinner with a bunch of authors the other night and I speculated that because it is Rowling, it could be six hundred pages of the word "What" and it will still hit the bestseller list.

But Paolo reminded us that because it is "Adult" it won't just be that. It will also have the word Balls.

What? Balls. WHAT? BALLS! What. Balls. What? Balls?

Well, to be fair, the Harry Potter books were actually pretty well written. She had good stories, strong characters and decent pacing. I thought the extended camping in the last book got long, but everything else was pretty decent, especially considering it was juvenile fiction. Not the best books I ever read, but pretty good overall.

I agree, though, she'd probably make a mint off a book that just said 'What? Balls!'.


The last book introducing the whole 'three super special magic items' including the Wand of Awkward Binding Logic angle, then using it as the final end of the whole series felt like a cop out.
 
2012-09-26 03:15:43 PM
There's a line in the book about a "conveniently unguarded vagina". The Washington Post review even said there's be instant Internet slash porn called "Harry Potter and the Conveniently Unguarded Vagina".
 
2012-09-26 03:18:00 PM

Apos: Fifty Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


I was wondering how long something of this type might take. good jorb.

Elzar: I put on my robe and wizard hat...

/ Fetch me my Elixir of Jergens and my gloves of dexterity


(chuckle)

"Voldemort's Snake" is the best I can do right now
(ok, I'll be quiet) 
 
2012-09-26 03:27:10 PM

blacksharpiemarker: Funbags: TheRock.gif


/don't even need to actually post the picture anymore
//you know the one

Yes, yes, but do you have the original?


oi48.tinypic.com
/unbroken
 
2012-09-26 03:29:50 PM
I'd put my basilisk in her Chamber of Secrets.
 
2012-09-26 03:36:29 PM
Every person associated with that franchise has done their damnedest to dissasociate themselves from it. No one wants to get typecast as the Harry Potter Person. I don't know why Rowling would be any different.

She is a very good writer, after all.
 
2012-09-26 03:44:42 PM
Harry Potter And His Exceedingly Vascular Erection
 
2012-09-26 03:47:09 PM
 
2012-09-26 03:54:16 PM
is it related to harry potter? oh, no?

mybfolder.com

/ enjoy your billions maam cause youre dumb farking luck ran out with it.
 
2012-09-26 04:01:48 PM

unlikely: I was at dinner with a bunch of authors the other night and I speculated that because it is Rowling, it could be six hundred pages of the word "What" and it will still hit the bestseller list.

But Paolo reminded us that because it is "Adult" it won't just be that. It will also have the word Balls.

What? Balls. WHAT? BALLS! What. Balls. What? Balls?


You must be a ball lover.
 
2012-09-26 04:04:44 PM

thisiszombocom: is it related to harry potter? oh, no?

[mybfolder.com image 850x861]

/ enjoy your billions maam cause youre dumb farking luck ran out with it.


Well, luck and a better grasp of grammar than dudes like you.
 
2012-09-26 04:48:50 PM
imageshack.us

/semi-oblig
 
2012-09-26 04:53:53 PM
Published in the U.S. by Little, Brown and Company and in Britain by Little, Brown Book Group, "The Casual Vacancy" is scheduled to come out Thursday and has been held under tight control, with media outlets required to sign non-disclosure agreements before being permitted to see the book. The Associated Press declined to sign such an agreement and instead purchased a copy early.


What's the over/under that fully-DRM-removed ebook versions appear on the Pirate Bay before the Thursday release?
 
2012-09-26 05:07:20 PM

Mikey1969: Well, to be fair, the Harry Potter books were actually pretty well written. She had good stories, strong characters and decent pacingwent for generally about 100 pages more than they needed to, due to a complete lack of pacing.


FTFY
 
2012-09-26 05:25:49 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


But enough about Pawn to Queen...

/yeah, I went there
 
2012-09-26 05:48:18 PM

Hebalo: Mikey1969: Well, to be fair, the Harry Potter books were actually pretty well written. She had good stories, strong characters and decent pacingwent for generally about 100 pages more than they needed to, due to a complete lack of pacing.

FTFY


Nah, I thought the pacing was ok... It could have been worse. Ever tried to read Anne Rice? It's like she writes her stories, gets finished, realizes that she's about 75-100 pages short, and then adds the shiat about 2/3 of the way into the book, so they take these random, lumbering detours, and then get back on track later on. Far worse, IMHO.
 
2012-09-26 06:03:50 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


Heh. A recent article in the paper about EL James said her writing made JK Rowling look like Jane Austen.
 
2012-09-26 06:30:04 PM

Apos: Fify Shades Of Hermoine?

/*Flees thread*


Better than reading:

www.motivationals.org
 
2012-09-26 07:00:41 PM
I bet it's just a rewrite of one of those fanfictions where Snape gets pregnant.
 
2012-09-26 07:07:06 PM

Lunchlady: Better than reading:


Anybody got the original of that pic?

/never gets old...
 
2012-09-26 07:12:30 PM

Maechyll: Lunchlady: Better than reading:

Anybody got the original of that pic?

/never gets old...


Of course. 

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-26 07:36:17 PM
What?
si0.twimg.com
 
2012-09-26 08:35:30 PM

Lunchlady: Maechyll: Lunchlady: Better than reading:

Anybody got the original of that pic?

/never gets old...

Of course. 

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x375]


Ah 4Chan. Some of the interwebs best comedy is the child of that particular whore.
 
2012-09-26 08:54:43 PM
You all just want to read about Hermione's wizard's sleeve.
 
2012-09-26 09:13:21 PM

blacksharpiemarker: Funbags: TheRock.gif


/don't even need to actually post the picture anymore
//you know the one

Yes, yes, but do you have the original?


Here you go:

DwayneJohnson.gif
 
2012-09-26 09:31:22 PM

nmemkha: Lunchlady: Maechyll: Lunchlady: Better than reading:

Anybody got the original of that pic?

/never gets old...

Of course. 

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x375]

Ah 4Chan. Some of the interwebs best comedy is the child of that particular whore.


My favorite internet meme of all time.
 
2012-09-26 11:31:36 PM
You know, I didn't see any evidence on her part that she was able to write "a rural comedy of manners that, having taken on state-of-the-nation social themes, builds into black melodrama." and I am most likely going to read it because it's going to be like watching a toddler drive a Harley.
 
2012-09-27 12:17:27 AM
Is this going to be like when R.L. Stein of Goosebumps fame wrote that god awful "adult" novel called Superstition?

Because that did well.

/Spoiler: it didn't.
// No, I'm not seriously comparing these two writers.
 
2012-09-27 12:30:09 AM
His wand? I thought she just wrote 7 adult novels about a young man discovering his wang?

wand->wang replacement

/I know there are better sources, but this is the best google found me in my 10 seconds looking
 
2012-09-27 12:45:43 AM

taxandspend: Deathly Hallows is running neck and neck with Chambers of Secrets as my least favorite book in the series. Yes, the Wand of Awkward Binding Logic angle basically said screw your education, it's the wand that matters. Also did they really need to kill that many characters. Thankfully it was still readable, unlike the final third of Mockingjay.


I liked how the big finale took her 7 book morality tale about the perils of bigotry and rendered null and void by saying you can tell if someone is evil by age 11 and/or by what house they get sorted into.

/unless they fall in love with one of their betters
//then they *might* be able to transcend their caste
///but probably not
 
2012-09-27 01:04:03 AM
50 Shades of Fenrir Greyback
 
2012-09-27 02:15:13 AM
Oh, I see. "Wand" in this context refers to Harry's penis.
 
2012-09-28 06:24:03 PM
#111338 +(16047)- [X]

-JonJonB- Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
-JonJonB- Let's see the results...

-JonJonB- "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
-JonJonB- "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

-JonJonB- A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

-JonJonB- "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
-JonJonB- "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

-JonJonB- Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

-JonJonB- "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

-JonJonB- The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

-JonJonB- He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

-JonJonB- He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

-JonJonB- Ok
-JonJonB- I have found, definitive proof
-JonJonB- that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
-JonJonB- "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
-melusine - O_______O
-JonJonB- Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

-JonJonJonB- Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

-JonJonJonB- 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
 
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