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(NBC News)   Well, at least he no longer has the hiccups   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 43
    More: Dumbass, Killeen, police  
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6271 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Sep 2012 at 8:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-25 08:46:54 PM
Still no cure for hiccups cancer
 
2012-09-25 08:47:35 PM
Dummy rounds?

Sure.
 
2012-09-25 08:48:47 PM
Which part of "Always treat the gun as if it was loaded" did this chucklefark not understand?
 
2012-09-25 08:50:38 PM
Thank you for your service.
 
2012-09-25 08:50:42 PM
A 22-year-old Fort Hood, Texas, soldier was shot in the face and died after what prosecutors say was an attempt by a fellow soldier to cure the victim's hiccups.

Religion of peace my ass
 
2012-09-25 08:51:04 PM
No.No.No. You take a pencil,put it in your mouth(like a dog bone) and drink some water.
 
2012-09-25 08:51:21 PM
i331.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-25 08:52:46 PM
*sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.
 
2012-09-25 08:53:51 PM
Is this the creationists' cure for hiccups?
 
2012-09-25 08:55:41 PM

way south: Which part of "Always treat the gun as if it was loaded" did this chucklefark not understand?


1. early 20's
2. watching a football game and drinking
3. good ol boy from SC
4. Army

This clusterfark just need time to make it happen
 
2012-09-25 08:55:42 PM

SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.


Care to share any "Well, we were drinking, and..." stories?

I'm all ears.
 
2012-09-25 08:57:20 PM
Spartansburg, SC? I thought this whole time that I had grown up in Spartanburg, SC.
 
2012-09-25 09:07:10 PM

keoki82: SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.

Care to share any "Well, we were drinking, and..." stories?

I'm all ears.


There are tons... some that stick out are-

Well, we were drinking, and... I slipped and put my hand through the glass barraks window (or anything glass, sharp, and that will require sutures). This was usually caused by a "tough guy" competition in the barraks after several bottles of liquor.

Had one guy get drunk and on a dare, headbutt a MP car, and knock himself out. When he came to sick call the next day had the biggest goose egg on his head I've ever seen lol. Dude hit it HARD.

Had another guy get diagnosed with crabs, and go home, get drunk and shave every hair off of his body.. like everything... even the eyebrows.. laughed my ass off the next day at sick call.

Plus when the guys got real bored and would go to the bars they'd have a "hogging" competition... those almost always ended poorly...
 
2012-09-25 09:09:56 PM

SpeedBBRRT: keoki82: SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.

Care to share any "Well, we were drinking, and..." stories?

I'm all ears.

There are tons... some that stick out are-

Well, we were drinking, and... I slipped and put my hand through the glass barraks window (or anything glass, sharp, and that will require sutures). This was usually caused by a "tough guy" competition in the barraks after several bottles of liquor.

Had one guy get drunk and on a dare, headbutt a MP car, and knock himself out. When he came to sick call the next day had the biggest goose egg on his head I've ever seen lol. Dude hit it HARD.

Had another guy get diagnosed with crabs, and go home, get drunk and shave every hair off of his body.. like everything... even the eyebrows.. laughed my ass off the next day at sick call.

Plus when the guys got real bored and would go to the bars they'd have a "hogging" competition... those almost always ended poorly...


Never a dull day in those 7 years, I'll wager.
 
2012-09-25 09:13:05 PM

SpeedBBRRT: keoki82: SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.

Care to share any "Well, we were drinking, and..." stories?

I'm all ears.

There are tons... some that stick out are-

Well, we were drinking, and... I slipped and put my hand through the glass barraks window (or anything glass, sharp, and that will require sutures). This was usually caused by a "tough guy" competition in the barraks after several bottles of liquor.

Had one guy get drunk and on a dare, headbutt a MP car, and knock himself out. When he came to sick call the next day had the biggest goose egg on his head I've ever seen lol. Dude hit it HARD.

Had another guy get diagnosed with crabs, and go home, get drunk and shave every hair off of his body.. like everything... even the eyebrows.. laughed my ass off the next day at sick call.

Plus when the guys got real bored and would go to the bars they'd have a "hogging" competition... those almost always ended poorly...


Ahh, hogging. I had a few soldiers that that did, and very competitively. One brought home this girl from the bar while I was pulling CQ and she HAD to be no less than 350. The farked up thing is that all he got were accolades from his buddies for it. The logic, it boggles.

We had a guy that pulled an Eddie Murphy. Got drunk, as hell, and then paid a tranny to let him perform oral on her/him. I repeat, he PAID a tranny to allow him to perform oral. When everyone found out about it, he pulled the 'ol "I was drunk, get over it, shiat happens, YOLO"
 
2012-09-25 09:37:56 PM

CJHardin: We had a guy that pulled an Eddie Murphy. Got drunk, as hell, and then paid a tranny to let him perform oral on her/him. I repeat, he PAID a tranny to allow him to perform oral. When everyone found out about it, he pulled the 'ol "I was drunk, get over it, shiat happens, YOLO"


I don't care how many times I live. I don't need that particular experience...
 
2012-09-25 09:37:56 PM

Jedix123: Still no cure for hiccups cancer


Actually, shooting someone in the face will cure cancer as well. Shooting someone in the face is pretty much a universal cure.
 
2012-09-25 09:38:19 PM
I was going to submit "Soldier successfully cures another soldier's hiccups"
 
2012-09-25 09:49:41 PM

Honest Bender: CJHardin: We had a guy that pulled an Eddie Murphy. Got drunk, as hell, and then paid a tranny to let him perform oral on her/him. I repeat, he PAID a tranny to allow him to perform oral. When everyone found out about it, he pulled the 'ol "I was drunk, get over it, shiat happens, YOLO"

I don't care how many times I live. I don't need that particular experience...


Agreed
 
2012-09-25 10:05:30 PM
Just another senseless death of a brave soldier resulting from our quagmires and poorly-defined Middle East foreign policy in the attempt to cure a bout of the hiccups.
 
2012-09-25 10:05:34 PM
Damn. I get horrendous, violent hiccups when I drink too much. I just induce sneezing. Works like a charm. I guess this is also one way to go.
 
2012-09-25 10:13:29 PM

Mugato: Damn. I get horrendous, violent hiccups when I drink too much. I just induce sneezing. Works like a charm. I guess this is also one way to go.



What is a foolproof way to induce sneezing? My buddy gets the hiccups when hes shiatfaced and it takes him forever to get through a couple short sentences, I may find some benefits from these tips.
 
2012-09-25 10:16:47 PM
Tag just doesn't go far enough to describe the mental capacity of this retard. Dummy rounds my ass.
 
2012-09-25 10:22:17 PM

D_Evans45: Mugato: Damn. I get horrendous, violent hiccups when I drink too much. I just induce sneezing. Works like a charm. I guess this is also one way to go.


What is a foolproof way to induce sneezing? My buddy gets the hiccups when hes shiatfaced and it takes him forever to get through a couple short sentences, I may find some benefits from these tips.


Well you can snort red pepper up your nose or in extreme cases, jam your finger up there. Don't judge, hiccups can be life threatening.
 
2012-09-25 10:39:18 PM

Honest Bender: CJHardin: We had a guy that pulled an Eddie Murphy. Got drunk, as hell, and then paid a tranny to let him perform oral on her/him. I repeat, he PAID a tranny to allow him to perform oral. When everyone found out about it, he pulled the 'ol "I was drunk, get over it, shiat happens, YOLO"

I don't care how many times I live. I don't need that particular experience...


He had a demon inside him.
 
2012-09-25 10:41:07 PM
Part of the military is staffed by guys who do their job competently for reasons both noble and self-sacrificing.

The other part is the bottom 5% of every high school's graduating class... and some dumber than that.
 
2012-09-25 10:55:12 PM

MAYORBOB: Tag just doesn't go far enough to describe the mental capacity of this retard. Dummy rounds my ass.


Dummy rounds...

unjouravec.net

/in a manner of speaking, Frank.
 
2012-09-25 11:36:18 PM

Mugato: Well you can snort red pepper up your nose or in extreme cases, jam your finger up there. Don't judge, hiccups can be life threatening.


last and only time I had the hiccups from hell, I wound up having to attempt to induce vomiting to get them to go away.
generally speaking, i'm not into bulimia, but I was, shall we say, desperate.
 
2012-09-26 12:14:39 AM

D_Evans45:


What is a foolproof way to induce sneezing? My buddy gets the hiccups when hes shiatfaced and it takes him forever to get through a couple short sentences, I may find some benefits from these tips.


Bright lights work for me. I just glance sunward (do not stare directly at the sun).
 
2012-09-26 12:38:15 AM

Molavian: Honest Bender: CJHardin: We had a guy that pulled an Eddie Murphy. Got drunk, as hell, and then paid a tranny to let him perform oral on her/him. I repeat, he PAID a tranny to allow him to perform oral. When everyone found out about it, he pulled the 'ol "I was drunk, get over it, shiat happens, YOLO"

I don't care how many times I live. I don't need that particular experience...

He had a demon inside him.


So what you're saying is that tranny was getting his demon semen out?
 
2012-09-26 12:50:04 AM
When I was a kid and I had the hiccups I would eat a BUNCH of sugar... ok.. it never did anything for my hiccups, but I was sure wired for the rest of the day!!!
 
2012-09-26 01:26:37 AM

way south: Which part of "Always treat the gun as if it was loaded" did this chucklefark not understand?



Rule #1
Treat every weapon as if it was loaded
Rule #2
Alcohol and firearms do. Not. Mix.

FTFA "...thought the gun had dummy rounds when it discharged."

Which brings me to Rule #1.5
Always know what your weapon is loaded with.

Buddy of mine violated Rule #2, the results of which compelled me to coming up with #1.5...
He was trying to show off and fire his 12ga one handed. He thought it only had regular 2 3/4 inch shells loaded in it. Turns out the shotgun was loaded with 3 1/2 inch turkey loads. Gun goes off, jumps out of his hand and ends up muzzle down in the dirt. He "clears" what he thought was most of the obstruction with a finger and jacks another round in the chamber. Just as I'm about to advise against shooting again, BOOM. That round split the barrel not quite 2 inches down and peeled it open. like a sardine can.
 
2012-09-26 01:46:52 AM

craxyd: way south: Which part of "Always treat the gun as if it was loaded" did this chucklefark not understand?


Rule #1
Treat every weapon as if it was loaded
Rule #2
Alcohol and firearms do. Not. Mix.

FTFA "...thought the gun had dummy rounds when it discharged."

Which brings me to Rule #1.5
Always know what your weapon is loaded with.

Buddy of mine violated Rule #2, the results of which compelled me to coming up with #1.5...
He was trying to show off and fire his 12ga one handed. He thought it only had regular 2 3/4 inch shells loaded in it. Turns out the shotgun was loaded with 3 1/2 inch turkey loads. Gun goes off, jumps out of his hand and ends up muzzle down in the dirt. He "clears" what he thought was most of the obstruction with a finger and jacks another round in the chamber. Just as I'm about to advise against shooting again, BOOM. That round split the barrel not quite 2 inches down and peeled it open. like a sardine can.


Is he still a buddy?

/and still alive, for that matter?
 
2012-09-26 02:09:04 AM
Just another day at Fort Hood - "The Great Place"

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess there will be a "appropriate hiccups cures" section of this week's safety brief.

It probably wasn't in this guy's safety brief last weekend, and everyone who has even been to an Army safety briefing surely knows that were it not for such nuggets of wisdom as "Don't go out and get drunk and do stupid shiat ok?" this would probably be a weekly occurrence in most units.
 
2012-09-26 02:31:02 AM

SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.


According to this article, the victim was a motor vehicle operator (don't get me started on army truck drivers). Doesn't say what MOS the shooter held, but stands to reason it was also motorpool-related.

Also, 7 years in the Army (are we the same person?) taught me that all good stories start with "No shiat, there I was..." Hell, our "Well, we were drinking" stories usually only led to embarrassing hookups and one or two broken bones.

/Okay, and also to losing the car keys in Mexico.
//Without possessing an offpost pass.
///Post was 250 miles away.
////Also tried to steal a helicopter once. Their fault for not locking it.
 
2012-09-26 08:25:47 AM
www.chud.com
Angie: You said you were just gonna scare him!
Cain: Doesn't he look scared?
 
2012-09-26 09:12:23 AM
www.prunejuicemedia.com

Also cured of hiccups
 
2012-09-26 09:34:01 AM
"dummy rounds"?
No, dumbass rounds.

/are we gonna need a Ft. Hood tag?
 
2012-09-26 11:47:27 AM
FTA: "Young received the National Defense Service Medal and Army Service Ribbon, the military said.

So... I think everyone on active duty gets both of those.
 
2012-09-26 12:28:24 PM
As a five year Army veteran, I have seen my fair share of mind-boggling activities. A personal favorite was a fellow 35H decided to bring his .40 cal into his barracks room, and then dry fire it into the block wall. Yep, it had a round in the chamber. Knocked a piece of block out, bounced off his bed frame and lodged in the door. Best part? Nobody called the shot in or had CQ check it out. (Friday night in the barracks, they were probably almost empty). Idiot got lucky.
/The kid who was killed in the article did not. That's a shame.
//CSB
 
2012-09-26 01:13:30 PM
Hiccup....hiccup....hiccup....hicc-BANG....
cricket...cricket...cricket...
....siren....siren...siren....
...click click....click click..
...CLANG CLANG....CLANG CLANG..
butthurt...butthurt...butthurt..

/teh end.
 
2012-09-26 01:17:22 PM

keoki82: craxyd: way south: Which part of "Always treat the gun as if it was loaded" did this chucklefark not understand?


Rule #1
Treat every weapon as if it was loaded
Rule #2
Alcohol and firearms do. Not. Mix.

FTFA "...thought the gun had dummy rounds when it discharged."

Which brings me to Rule #1.5
Always know what your weapon is loaded with.

Buddy of mine violated Rule #2, the results of which compelled me to coming up with #1.5...
He was trying to show off and fire his 12ga one handed. He thought it only had regular 2 3/4 inch shells loaded in it. Turns out the shotgun was loaded with 3 1/2 inch turkey loads. Gun goes off, jumps out of his hand and ends up muzzle down in the dirt. He "clears" what he thought was most of the obstruction with a finger and jacks another round in the chamber. Just as I'm about to advise against shooting again, BOOM. That round split the barrel not quite 2 inches down and peeled it open. like a sardine can.

Is he still a buddy?

/and still alive, for that matter?


He survived, completely uninjured. After I yelled "CEASE FIRE" and showed him what happened, the crazy bastich handed it to me to unload while he took off to the garage. I unloaded the shotgun and he came back with a hacksaw! Proceeds to lop 6 inches off the barrel and mumbles a comment along the lines of, "Been wanting to have a shorter barrel on this one for a long time anyway."
He's currently doing security contractor work in Afghanistan. I think this will be his 6th year over there in the Litterbox.
 
2012-09-26 04:20:52 PM

Harv72b: SpeedBBRRT: *sigh* Must've been a couple of infantry guys... bet money his story to police started with "Well, we were drinking and...."

7 years as an Army medic taught me that while GI's do great things, most are about as smart as a bag of hammers.

According to this article, the victim was a motor vehicle operator (don't get me started on army truck drivers). Doesn't say what MOS the shooter held, but stands to reason it was also motorpool-related.


88 Mike?. That was my third guess.
 
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