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(Bay News 9)   We're going to have a pool party with a gator. What could possibly go wrong?   (baynews9.com) divider line 58
    More: Florida, Teach Your Children, Roo, Marco Polo, Wildlife Conservation Society, VIPs, FWC, SPCA  
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7541 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Sep 2012 at 6:06 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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UberDave [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 02:40:27 PM
"The gator, it turns out, fits right in. He plays Marco Polo with the kids in Rubenstein's pool...."

Gator: "Marco"
Kids: "......."
Gator: "Marco"
Kids: "......"
Gator: "Marco?...anyone?"
 
brap [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 02:49:46 PM
But Alexis Tebow McMillan got to have gators at her pool party, WHAAAAAAAH!  
 
I want to pin actual tails on actual donkeys, duck duck goose with actual geese, I want have pinatas bursting with lions and tigers!  I want a registered sex offending balloon clown!
 
Mommy, I want MORE and DEADLIER predators, I want my guest to really death in the eye and say, I'm having the time of my life!
 
choo [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 03:01:09 PM
"At first, my friend and I were really scared of gators, but I'm not going to be scared anymore because it's cool," said Fiona Sierra, a guest at the party. "All the stuff I never knew, I'm starting to learn about."

Stuff like, "why is my arm missing?"
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 03:08:03 PM
Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.
 
Richard Saunders
2012-09-25 03:10:07 PM
Wanna teach the kids the important lesson about 'gators? Take the tape off.

/your drunk uncle has a new cannonball target
 
mysticcat [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 03:10:41 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Gator don't play that shiat
 
Sybarite [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 03:40:23 PM
I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.
 
vudukungfu
2012-09-25 03:49:22 PM
That can't be very sanitary. What if the gator catches something from one of those filthy little children.
Won't someone think of the gators?
 
Ed Finnerty
2012-09-25 04:12:30 PM
I'll stick to baby gator flushing parties, thank you very much.
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 04:15:55 PM
Sybarite: I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.

I would pay good money to see that!
 
BarkingUnicorn [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 04:31:27 PM
Next year, let's teach the girls about Burmese pythons!
 
pizen [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 05:21:00 PM
Sybarite: I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.

I think I now have a new euphemism for sexytimes.
 
AllUpInYa
2012-09-25 06:15:46 PM
BarkingUnicorn: Next year, let's teach the girls about Burmese pythons!

nastasa kinski?
 
kmaywfec
2012-09-25 06:16:05 PM
football-preview.com

I'm in.
 
moops
2012-09-25 06:16:30 PM
His name is Burger, and he does not mind that his mouth is taped shut.

Wow, a talking gator! He even said taping his mouth shut isn't a problem!
 
Mr.Hawk
2012-09-25 06:16:45 PM
Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS



How is this not animal abuse?
 
moops
2012-09-25 06:17:25 PM
Sybarite: I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.

static.tvguide.com

I think you have your drug-themed cable TV shows mixed up.
 
BarkingUnicorn [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:19:59 PM
Mr.Hawk: Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS


How is this not animal abuse?

It's only animal abuse if it makes most people feel sad.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:20:49 PM
moops: Sybarite: I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.

[static.tvguide.com image 280x385]

I think you have your drug-themed cable TV shows mixed up.

Just wait till next season.
 
AllUpInYa
2012-09-25 06:22:15 PM
Mr.Hawk: Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS


How is this not animal abuse?

Because Burger would've been dead, if there was no other use for him.
 
baronbloodbath [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:23:55 PM
The comments from the article are full of derp.

They seem so jealous that they couldn't think of this awesome idea first.
 
sweet-daddy-2
2012-09-25 06:30:48 PM
Do the kiddies cry when it's gator grilling time?
 
HotIgneous Intruder
2012-09-25 06:34:35 PM
It's not a real party until you take the tape off the gator's mouth, you pussies.
 
halloran
2012-09-25 06:35:15 PM
Chuck E Cheese sux for the record.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yNitSBXzsA
 
phil her craken
2012-09-25 06:39:30 PM
cogitoeggosum.files.wordpress.com
 
hammettman [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:42:41 PM
That was fun, can we do it next year?
That was fun, can we do it next year?
That was fun, can we do aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!
 
Fark In The Duck [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:43:36 PM
She can tape my mouth shut, cradle my belly and float me around the pool....

i536.photobucket.com
 
moops
2012-09-25 06:44:30 PM
Gyrfalcon: moops: Sybarite: I prefer a badger in the bouncy house.

[static.tvguide.com image 280x385]

I think you have your drug-themed cable TV shows mixed up.

Just wait till next season.

Don't you mean "the conclusion to season 5"?

And Weeds should have been off the air before Season 6 - it's been disastrous since then.
 
L.D. Ablo [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:45:12 PM
Mr.Hawk: Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS


How is this not animal abuse?

Because gators aren't cute and fuzzy like puppies and kittens.

Duh.
 
DumbAmerican
2012-09-25 06:47:33 PM
 
MagSeven [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 06:54:54 PM
Mr.Hawk: Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS


How is this not animal abuse?

Chlorine doesn't hurt the gators. Most summers there are hundreds of calls to animal control about gators making people's pools their temporary homes. The tape I'm sure is temporary as I imagine they will feed them at some point. The screaming children hone their hunting skills.
/Not a very good idea all around, but so far no one is getting hurt. Thankfully, especially the gators
 
slashmonkey
2012-09-25 06:55:40 PM
DumbAmerican: Aquabats - Pool Party

I feel dumber for having watched that.
 
reddsharkk
2012-09-25 07:00:24 PM
www.samscorner.org 

Nom nom nom
 
BigRightRear
2012-09-25 07:01:15 PM
So dogs ask to be muzzled? BarkingUnicorn: Mr.Hawk: Marcus Aurelius: Between the tape and the chlorine and the screaming children, I'm sure the gator loves it.

THIS


How is this not animal abuse?

It's only animal abuse if it makes most people feel sad.

So dogs ask to be muzzled? It's a stupid reptile that no longer has to compete for its food. Enjoy your steak tonight.
 
Doctor Jellyfinger
2012-09-25 07:12:48 PM
Gummy's harmless. He doesn't have any teeth. He's more of a party gator.
i.imgur.com
 
KrispyKritter [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 07:38:23 PM
year: 1978

who: my buddy's Dad

his idea: Rent-A-Dog

why: "everyone wants a puppy but many lose interest when it becomes a dog"

results: not good. not good at all.
 
fappomatic
2012-09-25 07:38:43 PM
Too. Much. Tape.
 
Fark Rye For Many Whores
2012-09-25 07:47:09 PM
imageshack.us
I was hoping to get a little... you know what I'm trying to say.
 
wallywam1 [TotalFark]
2012-09-25 07:49:45 PM
Real gator but the mouth is taped shut? Do they also have a real gun, "But it ain't loaded?"
 
ADHD Librarian
2012-09-25 07:49:53 PM
A gator?
Soft!
One of the local rugby league teams in Darwin (why is this city called Darwin? read on and get a clue), put a Salt Water crocodile in the pool for the Under 12s end of season party!

kelsgonebush.files.wordpress.com

\not actually in Darwin, was in Humpty Doo
\\Humpty Doo is a real place
//no tape, elastic bands round the snout 
/rugby league is for thugs
 
Rapmaster2000
2012-09-25 07:55:09 PM
Freed from the watchful eyes of the Church, Tebow drinks all your beer, pukes in the pool, and bangs your girlfriend.
 
rwfan
2012-09-25 07:55:45 PM
brap: But Alexis Tebow McMillan got to have gators at her pool party, WHAAAAAAAH!  
 
I want to pin actual tails on actual donkeys, duck duck goose with actual geese, I want have pinatas bursting with lions and tigers!  I want a registered sex offending balloon clown!
upload.wikimedia.org
 
Raoul Eaton
2012-09-25 07:58:42 PM
moops: His name is Burger, and he does not mind that his mouth is taped shut.

Wow, a talking gator! He even said taping his mouth shut isn't a problem!

Don't be ridiculous. He couldn't talk, because his mouth was taped shut. He's a telepathic gator.
 
Fark Rye For Many Whores
2012-09-25 08:08:14 PM
ADHD Librarian: \not actually in Darwin, was in Humpty Doo
\\Humpty Doo is a real place

www.phantombookshop.com
 
RoyHobbs22
2012-09-25 08:19:51 PM
Fark In The Duck: She can tape my mouth shut, cradle my belly and float me around the pool....

[i536.photobucket.com image 850x637]

wow. slightly concerned about her age but even the gator is smiling.
 
fappomatic
2012-09-25 08:21:21 PM
Raoul Eaton: moops: His name is Burger, and he does not mind that his mouth is taped shut.

Wow, a talking gator! He even said taping his mouth shut isn't a problem!

Don't be ridiculous. He couldn't talk, because his mouth was taped shut. He's a telepathic gator.

I read that he's telepathic AND knows A.S.L. Still too much tape.
You can never trust a gator with mind control skills. For that matter, you can't trust a screaming 10yr old unless they're duct taped and shoved in a closet.
 
smadge1
2012-09-25 08:23:53 PM
Doesn't sound like much of a party for the gator...
 
fracas
2012-09-25 08:33:52 PM
All the stuff I never knew, I'm starting to learn about.

Wut?
 
RedVentrue
2012-09-25 08:35:15 PM
Hey! It's a Darwin Party. Last one out gets eaten like a chicken. :)
 
StrangeQ
2012-09-25 08:59:44 PM
Barrett said the chlorine does not bother the gators.

Well that's good enough for me, this guy seems totally legit.
 
BoxOfBees
2012-09-25 11:00:07 PM
I think this guy owes me money. Bringing gators to a party and inflicting bloody carnage on small children was my idea.

Substantially more fun than the eel-in-the-anus party.
 
petuniapup
2012-09-25 11:33:48 PM
How many gators does the guy own? What happens when they grow too big?
 
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2012-09-26 12:05:06 AM
vudukungfu: That can't be very sanitary. What if the gator catches something from one of those filthy little children.
Won't someone think of the gators?

It's not unusual for reptiles to carry Salmonella, regardless of how healthy and clean they are. Meanwhile, some animals like saltwater crocs can eat things like diseased chicken corpses and not get sick.
 
moefuggenbrew
2012-09-26 12:06:14 AM
thechive.files.wordpress.com
Seems legit
/hot
 
UsikFark [TotalFark]
2012-09-26 12:06:17 AM
petuniapup: How many gators does the guy own? What happens when they grow too big?

shoeblogs.com
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-09-26 01:00:34 AM
slashmonkey: DumbAmerican: Aquabats - Pool Party

I feel dumber for having watched that.

Dude, in this case that's the point.
 
OhioUGrad
2012-09-26 01:50:54 AM
Fark In The Duck: She can tape my mouth shut, cradle my belly and float me around the pool....

[i536.photobucket.com image 850x637]

agreed!
 
AugieDoggyDaddy
2012-09-26 11:44:34 AM
Meh, I want a pool party with sharks with frickin' laser beams .
 
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