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(YouTube)   I'm a squirrel. I'm a squirrel. Suck my d*ck, I'M A SQUIR-AAAAAAAAAAHHhhhhhh   (youtube.com) divider line 60
    More: Amusing, squirrels  
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10134 clicks; posted to Video » on 24 Sep 2012 at 1:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-24 11:47:48 AM
gallery.roadbikereview.com

Approves
 
2012-09-24 12:46:59 PM
That turned out a lot better than when a squirrel got in our apartment years ago and proceeded to freak out.
 
2012-09-24 01:22:32 PM
looks like the little guy was terrified but I thought he was a gonner when he leaped out the window.
 
2012-09-24 01:24:01 PM
Nah, squirrels are like cats. They spread their body out and just kinda float. I've seen them fall out of trees and scramble right back up.
 
2012-09-24 01:25:12 PM
I was eating lunch outside the other day. Some delicious Long John Silvers aka the best seafood ever, when a squirrel came up behind me and snagged my corn on the cob. I chased him up a tree shaking a piece of their amazing breaded chicken. Alas, I came outside later to find my cob of corn on the ground all eaten.
 
2012-09-24 01:26:03 PM
And WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
2012-09-24 01:29:44 PM

Dakai: Nah, squirrels are like cats. They spread their body out and just kinda float. I've seen them fall out of trees and scramble right back up.


I think the big puffy tail acts as a sort of parachute.
 
2012-09-24 01:30:22 PM
Gonads and Strife.JPG
 
2012-09-24 01:31:04 PM

hogans: And WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Gonads and strife!
 
2012-09-24 01:32:12 PM
Today I learned the German word for Wow.
 
2012-09-24 01:33:01 PM
I played pussyfoot/sneakyfoot with two squirrels a couple days ago. Noticed them streetside frolicking and feeding in the grass by two tall cedar trees. I carefully crept toward them in full sight of them, never presenting a threat. One of the silly f**kers finally snorzled itself to within ten inches of my foot. It was fun.
 
2012-09-24 01:39:06 PM

Kittypie070: I played pussyfoot/sneakyfoot with two squirrels a couple days ago. Noticed them streetside frolicking and feeding in the grass by two tall cedar trees. I carefully crept toward them in full sight of them, never presenting a threat. One of the silly f**kers finally snorzled itself to within ten inches of my foot. It was fun.


I don't know these words......
 
2012-09-24 01:46:09 PM
imageshack.us

It was just looking for cream cheese.
 
2012-09-24 01:55:15 PM
I have twice seen squirrels fall out of trees.

First time was the lawn around the Texas state capitol in Austin. They were playing around and one fell with a big thump on a hill. Got up, looked around, kind of stunned. He looked kind of embarrassed, as he well should be. Climbing around in trees is what they do.

Second time was in Arkansas. Squirrel fell off a tree/telephone wires onto an asphalt road. He never moved again.
 
2012-09-24 02:03:21 PM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: I have twice seen squirrels fall out of trees.

First time was the lawn around the Texas state capitol in Austin. They were playing around and one fell with a big thump on a hill. Got up, looked around, kind of stunned. He looked kind of embarrassed, as he well should be. Climbing around in trees is what they do.

Second time was in Arkansas. Squirrel fell off a tree/telephone wires onto an asphalt road. He never moved again.


Fell? Farker realized he was in Arkansas and just jumped.
 
2012-09-24 02:05:57 PM
Few years ago I came into my office, where I'd left the window open, and found a squirrel sitting on my MacBook looking at the screen. He looked at me for a full 5 seconds before more or less casually making his way back to the window and leaving.

I laughed, walked over, then noticed that the little bastard had dropped a deuce on the keyboard of my Dell laptop.

Guess he wasn't a fan of Linux.
 
2012-09-24 02:31:23 PM

wild9: I was eating lunch outside the other day. Some delicious Long John Silvers aka the best seafood ever, when a squirrel came up behind me and snagged my corn on the cob. I chased him up a tree shaking a piece of their amazing breaded chicken. Alas, I came outside later to find my cob of corn on the ground all eaten.


I can't decide if this is a cool story or some sort of viral marketing.
 
2012-09-24 02:31:33 PM
Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.
 
2012-09-24 02:33:51 PM
A buddy of mine was taking a nap one day only to wake up and find a squirrel on his chest literally face to face. He jumped up and the thing freaked out in similar fashion. It turns out the chimney clamp didn't close properly and the little bugger was able to get in. I laughed my ass off at him because he's already a tightly wound person.
 
2012-09-24 02:41:55 PM

blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.


Sorry. Derp has to go first.
 
2012-09-24 02:44:48 PM

unchellmatt: Few years ago I came into my office, where I'd left the window open, and found a squirrel sitting on my MacBook looking at the screen. He looked at me for a full 5 seconds before more or less casually making his way back to the window and leaving.

I laughed, walked over, then noticed that the little bastard had dropped a deuce on the keyboard of my Dell laptop.

Guess he wasn't a fan of Linux.


Dell makes MacBooks?
 
2012-09-24 02:48:53 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Approves.
 
2012-09-24 02:53:18 PM
The only way that could have been more amusing was if it was shot with one of those GoPro cameras mounted to a 12 gauge pump shotgun and the photographer was blasting away at this little varmint.
 
2012-09-24 03:22:26 PM

Hot Carl To Go: blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.

Sorry. Derp has to go first.


Not before the "RIP" meme that's festering in Fark threads.
 
2012-09-24 03:24:43 PM

CygnusDarius: Hot Carl To Go: blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.

Sorry. Derp has to go first.

Not before the "RIP" meme that's festering in Fark threads.


www.podpocalypse.com
 
Bf+
2012-09-24 03:27:12 PM

hogans: And WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Done in... 3... 4... 5...
Aw hell...
THIS.
 
2012-09-24 03:31:45 PM
I can't believe how many squirrel + rampage videos there are.
 
2012-09-24 03:31:52 PM
When I was a kid, my Dad rescued some baby squirrels after the mother got killed by a car. We bottle fed them until they were old enough to live on their own and took them to a nature center. After being bit "accidentally" by one, I can tell you I would not be standing there filming that close to one freaking out. Those little buggers have seriously sharp teeth!

Had one chew through mortar AND brick when it got trapped in the chimney. They are not as harmless as they appear to be!
 
2012-09-24 03:36:50 PM

hutchkc: looks like the little guy was terrified but I thought he was a gonner when he leaped out the window.


Nah. Squirrels have a non-fatal terminal velocity, along with a lot of small animals. Essentially, due to their mass, size, aerodynamic properties, etc. the maximum speed at which they fall is less than what will give major injuries on impact. You can toss them from any height and they'll be okay. There's a chance that they'll get seriously injured, but they pretty much have to totally botch the landing.
 
2012-09-24 03:45:23 PM

CygnusDarius: Hot Carl To Go: blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.

Sorry. Derp has to go first.

Not before the "RIP" meme that's festering in Fark threads.


Farking DEAL. Same time, go on 3.
 
2012-09-24 04:04:50 PM
A flying squirrel got into my GF's house. Her 100 pound hound dog caught it and ate it. Chomp chomp gulp gone.
 
2012-09-24 04:22:43 PM
Man, it has been YEARS sinced I watched a Foamy the Squirrel video.

They still making those?
 
2012-09-24 04:24:45 PM

LrdPhoenix: hutchkc: looks like the little guy was terrified but I thought he was a gonner when he leaped out the window.

Nah. Squirrels have a non-fatal terminal velocity, along with a lot of small animals. Essentially, due to their mass, size, aerodynamic properties, etc. the maximum speed at which they fall is less than what will give major injuries on impact. You can toss them from any height and they'll be okay. There's a chance that they'll get seriously injured, but they pretty much have to totally botch the landing.


I'd like to see your squirrel physics that back this one up...

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Second time was in Arkansas. Squirrel fell off a tree/telephone wires onto an asphalt road. He never moved again.


Saw a similar thing... fell from a 100'+ tall tree. Little guy DID NOT get back up.
 
2012-09-24 04:44:33 PM

h2oincfs: unchellmatt: Few years ago I came into my office, where I'd left the window open, and found a squirrel sitting on my MacBook looking at the screen. He looked at me for a full 5 seconds before more or less casually making his way back to the window and leaving.

I laughed, walked over, then noticed that the little bastard had dropped a deuce on the keyboard of my Dell laptop.

Guess he wasn't a fan of Linux.

Dell makes MacBooks?


I had two laptops on my desk at the time; One Linux, one Mac.
 
2012-09-24 04:48:39 PM

SmellsLikePoo: LrdPhoenix: hutchkc: looks like the little guy was terrified but I thought he was a gonner when he leaped out the window.

Nah. Squirrels have a non-fatal terminal velocity, along with a lot of small animals. Essentially, due to their mass, size, aerodynamic properties, etc. the maximum speed at which they fall is less than what will give major injuries on impact. You can toss them from any height and they'll be okay. There's a chance that they'll get seriously injured, but they pretty much have to totally botch the landing.

I'd like to see your squirrel physics that back this one up...

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Second time was in Arkansas. Squirrel fell off a tree/telephone wires onto an asphalt road. He never moved again.

Saw a similar thing... fell from a 100'+ tall tree. Little guy DID NOT get back up.


Maybe it had a heart attack and just fell. Maybe it died of old age.
/I wonder how many squirrel skeletons are in trees right now.
 
2012-09-24 04:58:47 PM

SmellsLikePoo: LrdPhoenix: hutchkc: looks like the little guy was terrified but I thought he was a gonner when he leaped out the window.

Nah. Squirrels have a non-fatal terminal velocity, along with a lot of small animals. Essentially, due to their mass, size, aerodynamic properties, etc. the maximum speed at which they fall is less than what will give major injuries on impact. You can toss them from any height and they'll be okay. There's a chance that they'll get seriously injured, but they pretty much have to totally botch the landing.

I'd like to see your squirrel physics that back this one up...

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Second time was in Arkansas. Squirrel fell off a tree/telephone wires onto an asphalt road. He never moved again.

Saw a similar thing... fell from a 100'+ tall tree. Little guy DID NOT get back up.


Well, you could just Google "non fatal terminal velocity" and "non lethal terminal velocity." Mostly get stuff about cats, who just barely almost have one, but not enough to get away without lots of broken bones and trauma most of the time, but also get stuff about other small animals like squirrels, mice and insects and what not. The terminal velocity of a squirrel is only about 35mph (ours is about 120), not counting any tricks they have to slow down, and with their small mass the force of impact just isn't likely to cause injury. I'd imagine hitting asphalt instead of grass or dirt can't help though.
 
2012-09-24 05:23:25 PM

crzybtch: Had one chew through mortar AND brick when it got trapped in the chimney. They are not as harmless as they appear to be!


Had a friend in high school who had 3 younger brothers and a single mom. The mom was always off working (to keep sane, I imagine, with 4 boys rampaging around the house).

They used to leave the back door open so squirrels would come in and they'd feed them unshelled peanuts by hand.

Once my friend said "Check this out" as a squirrel walked in. He grabbed a peanut and put it in his hand and the squirrel climbed up his pants, shirt and walked along his arm to his outstretched hand.

At which point he CLOSED his hand into a fist. The squirrel stopped for a second and then launched itself at his fist, teeth and claws BURROWING into his fist. Blood everywhere and he started screaming. He opened his hand and threw the peanut and the squirrel calmly jumped off his fist and scampered over to the peanut, leaving bloody footprints along the floor.

I laughed and laughed and laughed. Especially when his mom walked in 10 minutes later and told him she was taking him to the hospital to get a rabies shot.

Same guy, years later, burned off one of his nipples in a freak hot-knife accident. I still call him Scar-Tit to this day.
 
2012-09-24 06:35:17 PM
Given the velocity of the squirrel as he launched himself outside of the window I figure he was able to control a slight glide and land in the bushes in the courtyard as opposed to dashing himself against the pavement.

Did the squirrel know the bushes were there and that is why he rocketed out the window? Good chance since he lives in the neighborhood. He may consider them a designated landing spot for whenever he is climbing around the nearby buildings and needs a quick exit - e.g. if he is climbing in some exposed place and a hawk flies overhead.
 
2012-09-24 06:58:11 PM
Squirrels are just rats with bushy tails.

They're pretty good eating if you're bored and out in the woods. The lawn-rats are starting to become a problem around here since Indianapolis outlawed shooting them in city limits. Now they have some extermination service that goes around shooting them.
 
2012-09-24 08:19:16 PM
Needs more "Hey Rocky!!!"
 
2012-09-24 08:48:50 PM
SAAAAAIL!
 
2012-09-24 09:02:27 PM
Squirrel needed to be wearing a red cape when he launched himself out the window.

"Truth, justice & the American German rodent way!"
 
2012-09-24 09:14:04 PM

Hot Carl To Go: CygnusDarius: Hot Carl To Go: blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.

Sorry. Derp has to go first.

Not before the "RIP" meme that's festering in Fark threads.

Farking DEAL. Same time, go on 3.


I'm ok with this order.
 
2012-09-24 09:50:46 PM

blankwhiteboard: Hot Carl To Go: CygnusDarius: Hot Carl To Go: blankwhiteboard: Can we please stop using the saying "like a boss".

Someone get me an onion for my belt.

Sorry. Derp has to go first.

Not before the "RIP" meme that's festering in Fark threads.

Farking DEAL. Same time, go on 3.

I'm ok with this order.


Can we add the "who?" rider too? That one makes me want to burn down the entire internet.
 
2012-09-24 09:54:13 PM
Link
Wheeeee!
 
2012-09-24 10:21:13 PM

wild9: I was eating lunch outside the other day. Some delicious Long John Silvers aka the best seafood ever, when a squirrel came up behind me and snagged my corn on the cob. I chased him up a tree shaking a piece of their amazing breaded chicken. Alas, I came outside later to find my cob of corn on the ground all eaten.


house we used to rent had a huge tree feet away from the door stoop. i would hang on the stoop with a radio, drink and snack on nuts. shared my nuts with the squirrels. little farkers would go way up the tree with the nuts and throw them at me.

/bastards
 
2012-09-24 10:40:41 PM
Amazing! The Wizards should look into acquiring it as a point guard.
 
2012-09-24 10:52:37 PM

red5ish: Today I learned the German word for Wow.


That was the best part of the video, WOAW
 
2012-09-24 11:29:56 PM
Miracle tail.
 
2012-09-25 12:46:58 AM
The videographer

img221.imageshack.us
 
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