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(CBC)   "And I don't think that a downtown hipster kind of person is going to be that worried about this being a pornographic cinema in the afternoon"   (cbc.ca ) divider line
    More: Scary, Toronto, Ryerson University, VCRs, foreign films, Jonathan Hlibka, Nadia Sandhu, Mary Poppins  
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10489 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2012 at 2:20 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-09-24 09:33:56 AM  
nothing better than eating hot buttered popcorn with the smell of pinesol.
 
2012-09-24 12:48:24 PM  
One can easily discount the opinions of downtown hipsters because they only form opinions based on how said opinions make them look in the eyes of those the intend to impress.

A hipster's opinions do not take into account the quality of the subject of opinion.
 
2012-09-24 12:50:33 PM  
Adult films will continue to be shown at The Metro during the day

Wow, someone must have spilled a lot of soda on this floor.
 
2012-09-24 01:15:27 PM  
They'll enjoy the smell of drying jizz, but they'll make sure to do it ironically.
 
2012-09-24 01:25:13 PM  
I saw this porno yesterday. You haven't heard of it.
 
2012-09-24 02:22:46 PM  
Daily cleanings.

Oh God, what a terrible job that would be...
 
2012-09-24 02:24:05 PM  
This story is a repeat - and the theatre is about 2 blocks from where I sit right now. Basically though, who cares??
 
2012-09-24 02:25:33 PM  
How does it work? Does anyone stick around (no pun) for the credits in a porno? Isn't it all gonzo these days anyway? Why would someone pay full price to watch five minutes of a feature porno? Anyone?
 
2012-09-24 02:26:35 PM  
So they must have to bust out the old jizz mop and some bleach every day now.
 
2012-09-24 02:26:42 PM  
Did anyone ever go to a porno theater to actually watch the movie? I thought this was the purpose once, when I was 18 and visited one. After about the sixth guy yanked it out and started fapping it and inviting me to join in the fun, I figured it that they and I were there for different things. Lessons learned.
 
2012-09-24 02:27:32 PM  

Saborlas: One can easily discount the opinions of downtown hipsters because they only form opinions based on how said opinions make them look in the eyes of those the intend to impress.

A hipster's opinions do not take into account the quality of the subject of opinion.


Hipsters or teenage girls?
 
2012-09-24 02:37:40 PM  

filter: How does it work? Does anyone stick around (no pun) for the credits in a porno? Isn't it all gonzo these days anyway? Why would someone pay full price to watch five minutes of a feature porno? Anyone?


JackieRabbit: Did anyone ever go to a porno theater to actually watch the movie? I thought this was the purpose once, when I was 18 and visited one. After about the sixth guy yanked it out and started fapping it and inviting me to join in the fun, I figured it that they and I were there for different things. Lessons learned.


You guys should talk.
 
2012-09-24 02:39:06 PM  
I drive by this theatre on my way to work almost every day, and though I'm glad it will be revived to show indie films and the like, I really don't see why it has to continue showing pornos. Don't people know about the internet? And who the heck would want to go to this theatre knowing that some perv may have sat in the same seat you're sitting in just a few hours before? Yuuuuccckkk ...
 
2012-09-24 02:39:33 PM  
Our last porn theater here started to show old grindhouse films a couple years back (and sold PBR and popcorn). I went to check it out, and I brought a small flashlight with me so I can see if the seat is "clean" before I sat down. I get inside the theater, there's one 100w bulb 50 feet up on in the whole theater, probably they did this so they didn't have to clean that often because you couldn't see the filth. I turn on my flashlight, and right away wished I didn't. Took some time before I found a seat.
 
2012-09-24 02:40:08 PM  
They still have movie theatres downtown? ; )

(Well, in Ottawa there are three screens at the Rideau Centre and five smaller screens at the World Trade Centre-not to be confused with the World Trade Center, which is spelling differently, but downtown anything is an endangered species nowadays except maybe condos for old people and Gold Coasters. For a big city hipster, moving to Ottawa would be like moving to Geneva, Switzerland, only with the climate of Geneva, New York.) Ottawa has the nightlife of Geneva, CH, and the weather of Geneva, NY.

The hipster theatres are largely thirty minutes out from the centre. Of course, they occasionally have the odd wider-appeal hipster movie at the Empire (World Trade Centre) but the faux and fauxish hipsters that attend those live mostly in Mechanics Ville (as close as Ottawa gets to a gay, gentrified hipster community) and peripheral areas starting at least 10 minutes walk away.

Outside the inner city di-pole, and the hipster ring with a couple of repetory theatres, there's the Family Movie ring. There's not much of a porno-movie district, in fact, I don't know of any theatre that shows porno movies as such. The market is too small and presumably was killed by the inner tubes.

Mind you, Ottawa is Squaresville. It's not so much full of hipsters as politicos, who are a dull, politically correct, workaholic lot who don't make much creative stuff unless you count fog and Powerpoints. None of the universities are down-town and much of the arts community vanished with AIDS if there ever was one of any size, or lives outside of the downtown area proper, near the universities or cheaper and roomier older housing.

Downtown is a desert at night. You can safely walk most streets at 3:00 p.m. because the muggers just don't bother and are in bed by 10:30.

It's the perfect place for a hipster to be hip in. There are no other hipsters at all, stealing your thunder and wearing the same outfit to the party.
 
2012-09-24 02:41:37 PM  
You don goof'd. Do you really think a hipster is going to touch that place with a 10 foot pole once you just stated your core demographic are hipsters? By nature if you call a hipster a hipster they instantly deny it.
/best retort once they do: 'typical hipster response.'
//that really grinds their gears
 
2012-09-24 02:43:43 PM  

Evil Canadian: This story is a repeat - and the theatre is about 2 blocks from where I sit right now. Basically though, who cares??


Well, as a followup, any idea how well the art house thing is going? ie, are you seeing people go to the theatre for the non-porn films?
 
2012-09-24 02:46:04 PM  
Saborlas: One can easily discount the opinions of downtown hipsters because they only form opinions based on how said opinions make them look in the eyes of those the intend to impress.

A hipster's opinions do not take into account the quality of the subject of opinion.


So they are like Farkers who attempt to be snarky?
 
2012-09-24 02:46:37 PM  
Why the "scary" tag? "Hero" is more appropriate for the folks that are trying to save a 1930's downtown theater. I wish them luck and hope they can turn it around, porn or no.
 
2012-09-24 02:47:47 PM  
Arnold Crimp might have a problem with this.
 
2012-09-24 02:47:51 PM  
Will the "Emmanuelle on 3 screens" poster stay up?

Every time I pass that joint, I feel like I should make a stop at the hassle-free clinic.

Hipsters have loads of theatres to leave their fedoras and giant fake glasses at, but I'm sure they'll congregate at the Metro as well, all the while insisting no one goes there anymore because it's too popular...
 
2012-09-24 02:50:23 PM  

ApatheticMonkey: Evil Canadian: This story is a repeat - and the theatre is about 2 blocks from where I sit right now. Basically though, who cares??

Well, as a followup, any idea how well the art house thing is going? ie, are you seeing people go to the theatre for the non-porn films?


Can't really tell - only around during the day.

brantgoose: Downtown is a desert at night. You can safely walk most streets at 3:00 p.m. because the muggers just don't bother and are in bed by 10:30.

It's the perfect place for a hipster to be hip in. There are no other hipsters at all, stealing your thunder and wearing the same outfit to the party.


Well, IIRC nobody would be out in Ottawa at 3 since the bars are already closed and they all went to Hull if they wanted to continue partying. At least that's what my friends did when we lived up there.

I don't remember art house movie theatres in Ottawa at all either. Then again, I lived in the Glebe and biked/skated to Carleton, so my drinking/partying area was not exactly downtown at all.
 
2012-09-24 02:51:09 PM  

caddisfly: filter: How does it work? Does anyone stick around (no pun) for the credits in a porno? Isn't it all gonzo these days anyway? Why would someone pay full price to watch five minutes of a feature porno? Anyone?

JackieRabbit: Did anyone ever go to a porno theater to actually watch the movie? I thought this was the purpose once, when I was 18 and visited one. After about the sixth guy yanked it out and started fapping it and inviting me to join in the fun, I figured it that they and I were there for different things. Lessons learned.

You guys should talk.


Talk's cheap.
 
2012-09-24 02:51:50 PM  
Evin Canadian, I don't think it's open yet, but I haven't been checking it out, so I wouldn't know! Ahem.

And BrantGoose, there are still quite a few theatres in downtown Toronto. There are a few multi-plexes, like at Yonge Dundas Square, then there are the independent cinemas, like The Kingsway and The Bloor and The Revue, that show first-run movies and indie films/art house films. You buy a membership and you only pay like $5 to get in. I'm afraid that these theatres may disappear completely if more people don't frequent them. That would be tragic. I really hate going to Mississauga to see a movie, the theatres are full of bratty crotch fruit with their equally obnoxious parents ignoring them. Plus, you have to go to the Mississauga, that in itself is tragic.
 
2012-09-24 02:54:45 PM  
I met Quentin Tarantino here back when Colin Geddes would rent the place to show vintage KungFu/Blacksploitation flicks he'd buy from old drive-ins. The place still has a 35mm projector on hand.

He was bored, and Sam Jackson told him to check out SUSPECT video if he was in Toronto, which is where he learned that they were playing MASTER KILLER at the old porn theatre. It was odd chatting with a Hollywood hotshot next to a dildo display case.
 
2012-09-24 02:56:25 PM  

There's Always A Bloody Ghost: Evin Canadian, I don't think it's open yet, but I haven't been checking it out, so I wouldn't know! Ahem.

And BrantGoose, there are still quite a few theatres in downtown Toronto. There are a few multi-plexes, like at Yonge Dundas Square, then there are the independent cinemas, like The Kingsway and The Bloor and The Revue, that show first-run movies and indie films/art house films. You buy a membership and you only pay like $5 to get in. I'm afraid that these theatres may disappear completely if more people don't frequent them. That would be tragic. I really hate going to Mississauga to see a movie, the theatres are full of bratty crotch fruit with their equally obnoxious parents ignoring them. Plus, you have to go to the Mississauga, that in itself is tragic.


The indies used to have a membership you could use at a whole bunch of other indies, but that seems to have died (the Bloor was first to go). The Fox down on Queen East is another one of these, but the Paradise in my old hood (Bloor / Dovercourt) is now closed. I had a GREAT time at the indies, and would love to see that whole genre and the old theatres survive, but it's a hard living.
 
2012-09-24 03:06:45 PM  
incorrect: "And I don't think that a downtown hipster kind of person is going to be that worried about this being a pornographic cinema in the afternoon"

correct: A downtown hipster is going to keep a blank face and pretend to be cool and not care about this being a pornographic cinema in the afternoon, then will attempt to inconspicuously check his iPhone or gadget du jour to see what the internet tells him to think, then will state matter-of-factly that he has widely held that opinion since before it became an issue.
 
2012-09-24 03:10:55 PM  

brantgoose: They still have movie theatres downtown? ; )


They still have theatres??
 
2012-09-24 03:16:22 PM  
I'll just stay at home and whack it in the evenings I guess.
 
2012-09-24 03:21:30 PM  
This has already been posted on fark. You farking fail.
 
2012-09-24 03:25:14 PM  

JackieRabbit: caddisfly: filter: How does it work? Does anyone stick around (no pun) for the credits in a porno? Isn't it all gonzo these days anyway? Why would someone pay full price to watch five minutes of a feature porno? Anyone?

JackieRabbit: Did anyone ever go to a porno theater to actually watch the movie? I thought this was the purpose once, when I was 18 and visited one. After about the sixth guy yanked it out and started fapping it and inviting me to join in the fun, I figured it that they and I were there for different things. Lessons learned.

You guys should talkwank.

Talk's cheap.


amidonitrite?
 
2012-09-24 03:32:14 PM  
"The carpet will be ripped out and the seats re-covered, and there will be daily cleanings after the adult films let out."

Unupholstered steel chairs, mesh, painted battleship grey. Bolted to the floor, you hose 'em all down from the front of the theater, one shot and you're done. Let the whole foamy mess drain out and let in the next showing.

And I'd think going to a porn theater would be right up a hipster's alley. In an ironic sort of a way, of course.
 
2012-09-24 03:37:48 PM  
This thread is useless without 16mm motion pictures
 
2012-09-24 03:42:07 PM  

Cewley: nothing better than eating hot buttered popcorn with the smell of pinesol.


done in one
 
2012-09-24 03:45:16 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: "The carpet will be ripped out and the seats re-covered, and there will be daily cleanings after the adult films let out."

Unupholstered steel chairs, mesh, painted battleship grey. Bolted to the floor, you hose 'em all down from the front of the theater, one shot and you're done. Let the whole foamy mess drain out and let in the next showing.

And I'd think going to a porn theater would be right up a hipster's alley. In an ironic sort of a way, of course.


I'm envisioning a hybrid bowling alley pin setting / laserwash system - spanning the width of the theater. as each guest finishes, It sweeps away the offending patrons, high pressure sprays and vacs the entire floor and seat area, then resets the nonoffending patrons. I thought of this idea long before you jerked off to it.
 
2012-09-24 03:50:09 PM  
Evil Canadian, you need to check out The Revue on Roncesvalles, mostly art house films shown there, The Kingsway on Bloor at Royal York, which shows lots of first-run films, and The Bloor, which just reopened. They now call it The Bloor Hot Docs Cinema. I haven't been to see a movie there yet, mostly because they haven't shown anything I want to see, but the second they play Harold and Maude or Psycho, I'll be there! They've upped the ticket price to $8, but still cheaper than at the multi-plex. And I just checked out the schedule, and I missed Gone With The Wind on the 3rd. Crap. And of course, you need to check out Rocky Horror, with the Shadow Cast at the end of October.
 
2012-09-24 04:06:01 PM  
They tried this a few years ago in Vancouver, at the Fox Cinema on Main... They were showing cult classics and horror as 'special event' midnight screenings on weekends. It didn't stick (har har) simply because, in the words of one of the promoters attempting this, "we could NOT get the smell out. Nothing worked. No amount of cleaner or Nag Champa could overpower that smell, and no one wanted to suffer that just to see some cool retro exploitation flicks."

I personally just don't think you can mix a porn theatre with anything else. Not that I think there should be no porn theatres- when I rule Canada, I'll subsidize the damn things on a federal level- but they just don't combine with other approaches.
 
2012-09-24 04:12:53 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: AngryJailhouseFistfark: "The carpet will be ripped out and the seats re-covered, and there will be daily cleanings after the adult films let out."

Unupholstered steel chairs, mesh, painted battleship grey. Bolted to the floor, you hose 'em all down from the front of the theater, one shot and you're done. Let the whole foamy mess drain out and let in the next showing.

And I'd think going to a porn theater would be right up a hipster's alley. In an ironic sort of a way, of course.

I'm envisioning a hybrid bowling alley pin setting / laserwash system - spanning the width of the theater. as each guest finishes, It sweeps away the offending patrons, high pressure sprays and vacs the entire floor and seat area, then resets the nonoffending patrons. I thought of this idea long before you jerked off to it.


Did you design the Parisian Self-Cleaning Public Lavatoirette? If so, I shall touch myself whilst envisioning you at the drawing board, and perhaps imagining you simulating defecation in a working 3/4 scale prototype in your studio apartment.


I'm waiting.....
 
2012-09-24 04:20:37 PM  
Hope they replace the seats...
 
2012-09-24 04:53:01 PM  
I can't even imagine going to see a movie where some creep who clearly gets off to jerking it in a public theatre, because why else go, just violated himself and the back of the seat in front of him to watch gay cowboys eat pudding for an hour and a half.
 
2012-09-24 05:36:09 PM  
FTFA: The carpet will be ripped out and the seats re-covered, and there will be daily cleanings after the adult films let out.

"We're coming up with a really detailed sterilization process," Sandhu said.


OK, all my concerns are allayed. Roll film!
 
2012-09-24 06:07:07 PM  
I only enjoy 8mm Norwegian Seafaring Porn you probably have never heard of it...
 
2012-09-24 06:55:45 PM  

theFword: Took some time before I found a seat


ewwwwwwww!
 
2012-09-24 07:20:03 PM  

Tom_Slick: I only enjoy 8mm Norwegian Seafaring Porn you probably have never heard of it...


"Eric the Red"?

"Rosey and the Eight Leifs"

"Call me Ish, Male."
 
2012-09-24 08:46:21 PM  
I love that they used the word grime instead of....that other word!
 
2012-09-24 10:22:49 PM  
Now where will I jerk off
 
2012-09-24 11:03:24 PM  
Who still goes to a theater to watch porn?
 
2012-09-25 12:39:09 AM  
I'm at a convenience store at Queen and Niagara on Saturday, and these two hipster dipshiats walk in to use the ATM I'm at, one wearing a big fake sable hat and the other wearing a sailor hat. They've both got looks on their faces like "Aren't we out there? I bet you're wondering why we're wearing these crazy hats." They were practically begging us to ask them what interesting reason they had for the hats. They got our best "fark you hipster" derisive snort in return.

I'm not an unfriendly guy. I talk to strangers all the time, but those try-hard losers are shiatting up my city.
 
2012-09-25 05:28:12 AM  
FTAand there are no film titles displayed.

I totally read that the wrong way the first time...
 
2012-09-25 11:53:48 AM  
You could probably attract hipsters to the pornos if you run circa-1905 What the Butler Saw fare. Bonus points for depicting steam-powered dildos.
 
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