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(NBC News)   Doctors warn that trampolines are no place for children, should only be used by well-trained, large breasted, scantily clad women   (vitals.nbcnews.com) divider line 159
    More: Interesting, Carolyn Prouty, American Academy in Berlin, University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, multiple users, Morgan Hill, injury prevention  
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7133 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2012 at 8:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-24 09:37:19 AM
At the end of May, one of my extremely hot, and (unfortunately) married church friends decided she was going to jump on the trampoline at our church picnic. She was doing flips in a short dress. And everyone cheered happily, impressed by her abilities

/mainly because I was practically the only straight man in the group... I go to a very open church...
//hotness wasted on gay guys
 
2012-09-24 09:43:09 AM
Springfree trampolines. Best brand ever. Assuming you're willing to spend five times as much. But I totally want one.
 
2012-09-24 09:43:16 AM
Tramampoline, tramampoline!

I'm kinda disappointed in the lack of Simpsons references.

That being said, between the gymnastics and the trampoline, I had a better sense of balance than a lot of other kids and knew how to take a fall. Kept me from getting hurt numerous times, including some potentially nasty motorcycle wrecks. That trampoline was one of the best things my parents bought us.


/Had one growing up from before kindergarten to the end of jr high
//never seriously hurt
 
2012-09-24 09:45:42 AM
My hot neighbor chick boobs got bigger from the trampoline.
 
2012-09-24 09:48:16 AM

namegoeshere: Oh damn, y'all! I came in here to actually post a serious comment about kids and trampolines. Who the hell is going to read it sandwiched in here amongst all the boobies??

*sigh* Anyway...

Trampolines are excellent exercise for this generation of kids who need it now more than ever. Teach them to use it safely and let them use it. Or, you could continue to wrap them in bubble-wrap and end up with fat, uncoordinated teens who can't walk and talk on the phone without falling down..

There. Now continue the boobs.


Or you could do like they did until the 70s. Just keep them outside until dark and let them figure it. On their own.
 
2012-09-24 09:49:34 AM
Oh balderdash. Even after our childhood trampoline caused four separate incidents of stitches between my two sisters and I (I had two) my parents didn't get rid of it. We didn't have a cage, and we did things like jump from the balcony on it. We crashed into each other and bounced off and knocked the wind out of ourselves and skinned our knees and you know what? I didn't die. My childhood was awesome.

I still have a scar on my forehead (hair covers it) and my chin from that beast. I'd absolutely get my kids one if I were to spawn.

And you know WHY?

Injuries are a part of childhood, that's why.

I would build my kids a playhouse just like I had. I'd let them make forts in the trees and play in the mud and bike down to the park. If they skinned their knees from doing cherry drops off the swing set, you put a band aid on it and they keep playing.

Kids these days are such weenies. We didn't worry about all that bs when I was a kid. And my sister and I are OF the generation of when parents started to coddle, and I still have a good work ethic and think kids should be outside.

I hate society. They came for the trampolines, and I did not speak, for I was not a trampoline...
 
2012-09-24 09:52:06 AM
i50.tinypic.com
Tramampoline! Trapopoline!
 
2012-09-24 09:54:06 AM
crow202.org
crow202.org

Note: drinking beer while jumping on a trampoline is not actually a good idea.
 
2012-09-24 09:54:06 AM
Even that's no guarantee... I went out a few times with a trained, large-breasted woman who managed to break a couple ribs landing on the frame of a trampoline.

/ sadly, I didn't get to see the lead-up to that tragedy... If only she had had a spotter there...
 
2012-09-24 09:58:40 AM
Trampoline's rule

Have one for the kids, always a good time

Growing up my friend had one and they had an above ground pool and they had a deck, needless to say we were able to combine all 3. Jump from the deck, to the tramp, then up and into the pool

Good times
 
2012-09-24 09:59:58 AM

Close2TheEdge: You want trampolines?

THISis a motherfarking trampoline!


Oh man, we have one of those around here, i went a few years ago with my little brothers and holy shiat was I sore and tired the next day.
I've always been a little leery of regular trampampolines, once i got past my invincible feeling kid phase and into my self preservation phase around the age of 10.
 
2012-09-24 10:03:58 AM
Trampoline: (n) a relatively expensive device that parents buy and their kids use about 12 times before losing interest. The device then rusts in the back yard for several years. Female children will often experience a renewed interest in the device at approximately 14 years of age, if there are boys around.
 
2012-09-24 10:06:18 AM
I got the tramp for my kinder when they were 4 & 6 (?) something like that, really young. At the time it was one-at-a-time, supervised. I stressed to them the severity of life-long paralysis, having someone to feed you and bathe you and wipe your ass if you come down wrong on your neck. I stressed how you could smash your friend's face in with your baseball-bat-like elbow, or he could do it to you, and you'll never breathe right out of your nose, or never be able to be an astronaut or fighter-pilot with just one eye.

I've taught them to protect their heads and necks, no flying flips, etc. They've been on it for 6 years now without incident. I think that's the big blunder people make: They get something with the potential for damage but don't take the time to educate the kids how to do it right, then something goes wrong and everyone panics.
 
2012-09-24 10:08:24 AM
Pictures do not do jumping on trampolines justice. What about videos? I'll throw this one out to start.
 
2012-09-24 10:12:56 AM

Crackers Are a Family Food: [i50.tinypic.com image 500x364]
Tramampoline! Trapopoline!


He said what now?
 
2012-09-24 10:12:59 AM

danceswithcrows: Note: drinking beer while jumping on a trampoline is not actually a good idea.


i240.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-24 10:13:23 AM
Life is dangerous. Nobody gets out of it alive. But while we're here, we should enjoy all the boobies we can. Thank you one and all.
 
2012-09-24 10:14:56 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: beta_plus: [ididafunny.com image 720x536]

/trampoline was the best part of gym class

Yes. And look how the children of the 70s grew up to wreck the economy and the country.
NTTAWWT.


memedepot.com

The Baby Boomers - you know the guys who are bleeding social security, medicare, and local municipalities dry while blocking structural reforms - ended in 1960. The kids in that picture are definitely Generation X.

/the meme isn't meant as disrespect to the millenials
//we just wish that you'd had dangerous big wheels and jungle gyms too
 
2012-09-24 10:15:55 AM
We have not yet achieved our goal of sucking ALL the fun out of childhood. Why are so many parents allowing their children to ride in little red wagons without helmets and shoulder pads and safety goggles? Someone call DCF!
 
2012-09-24 10:20:07 AM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x275]


www.oldbaldguys.com
 
2012-09-24 10:20:10 AM
Are we doing this thing?

i49.tinypic.com

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-09-24 10:20:54 AM
quite possibly the most beautiful thread i've ever seen...

too bad i'm surround by man-hating divorcees here at work or i could actually enjoy this thread...
 
2012-09-24 10:24:10 AM
I don't have an dailymotion account but it seems that there's a link of girls jumping on a trampoline in a very NSFW manner...

NSFW.

///NSFW/// You have been warned ///NSFW///

/ Did I say nsfw?
 
2012-09-24 10:24:55 AM
i47.tinypic.com

Recent evidence suggests that you can have your cake and eat it on a trampoline.
 
2012-09-24 10:27:13 AM

beta_plus: [ididafunny.com image 720x536]

/trampoline was the best part of gym class


Want.That.Posterized. NAO!!
 
2012-09-24 10:29:15 AM
i49.tinypic.com

If I wanted to jump on a trampoline, I'd jump on a trampoline with her instead of a ten year old.
 
2012-09-24 10:30:14 AM
HA!

I found a youtube of a girl in a bikini, jumping on a trampoline.


That managed to land facefirst.

/ Ow. that's gotta leave a rash.
// if bikinis are frowned upon, why are you in this thread and the video is nsfw for the unlucky yous.
/// I would advise turning off the sound in this one.
 
2012-09-24 10:31:08 AM
Yes, I'm sure that insurance companies refuse to insure homeowners with trampolines because of their irrational fears for the safety of precious snowflakes, not their cold, calculating analysis of their mountains of statistical data. They insure pools, and kids die in them all the time. They know which risks are acceptable, and which are not.

Is it ironic that those who look longingly to the past and whine about overprotective parents are the ones that are being irrational and appealing to emotions?
 
2012-09-24 10:32:46 AM
 
2012-09-24 10:34:03 AM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-09-24 10:37:07 AM

FirstNationalBastard: markfara: My sister once broke a boob on a trampoline. She also sprained her vulva and her other boob. We got rid of that thing after that, believe me.

That's no way to treat your sister.


I wish we could click "funny" more than once.
 
2012-09-24 10:40:10 AM
NABM.
 
2012-09-24 10:40:14 AM

namegoeshere: Oh damn, y'all! I came in here to actually post a serious comment about kids and trampolines. Who the hell is going to read it sandwiched in here amongst all the boobies??

*sigh* Anyway...

Trampolines are excellent exercise for this generation of kids who need it now more than ever. Teach them to use it safely and let them use it. Or, you could continue to wrap them in bubble-wrap and end up with fat, uncoordinated teens who can't walk and talk on the phone without falling down..

There. Now continue the boobs.


Every time I intend to post something relevant, someone beats me to the punch within 2 posts. Well, Fark it... I'll say what I came to say anyway.

I did my share of jumping on trampolines when I was in my early 20s, which amounts to an awful lot of overconfidence, stupidity, and alcohol. There may have been a few other greener things in the mix. We did flips, jumped out of 2nd story windows... You know, all that normal stuff that people do.

One time I landed very badly on my head. I got very concerned that I may well have screwed myself up permanently. From that point forward, I realized that trampolines are dangerous killing machines. I'm sorry, "suicide machines" might be a better term. At the very least, they are "self paralyzing" machines.

This is why I don't let my kids on them. Every time one of my kids says, "let's get one", I essentially say, "I thought you were smarter than that."

However, I do think it's a great idea for boobilicous women to jump on them all day. Just don't do any flips.
 
2012-09-24 10:43:02 AM

beta_plus: [ididafunny.com image 720x536]

/trampoline was the best part of gym class


And life was AWESOME!
 
2012-09-24 10:43:33 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: [i49.tinypic.com image 400x269]

If I wanted to jump on a trampoline, I'd jump on a trampoline with her instead of a ten year old.


I'd use a ten year old's face like a trampoline just to get to her.

I grew up with three brothers and a reserved space at the local hospital. We shot each other with air guns, bows and arrows, slingshots, we jumped out of trees, off the roof, out of haylofts, we broke, winded, split, tore, dislocated digits and limbs and we had a brilliant childhood. Having said that, the thought of my little boy breaking his neck and being paralysed for the rest of his life is like an icy knife twisting in my guts. I won't stop him enjoying his life like I enjoyed mine but I understand the fear that motivates the helicopter parent.
 
2012-09-24 10:48:03 AM
My kids have a trampoline. Got the big net that goes about 10 feet high all the way around. After 6 months, there haven't even been any close calls but they're too small to do anything crazy yet.

/haven't had any hot chicks on it yet :{
 
2012-09-24 10:51:02 AM
not a spankmark

bookmark. not a bookmark
 
2012-09-24 10:51:47 AM

kvinesknows: not a spankmark

bookmark. not a bookmark


ha!
 
2012-09-24 10:52:47 AM
let's keep the TRAMP in on trampoline!

cdn.nextround.net
 
2012-09-24 10:53:59 AM

strapp3r: let's keep the TRAMP in on trampoline!

[cdn.nextround.net image 350x262]


It used to be called a jumpoline...
 
2012-09-24 10:55:09 AM

thecpt: beta_plus: [ididafunny.com image 720x536]

/trampoline was the best part of gym class

How your parents let you rolled.

My parents let me roll how I wanted too, but it was the 90s. Its just funny that a generation that was allowed to do this is the one with the helicopter parents


Never underestimate a bored house wife or a soccer mom on a crusade. The derp storm they created in the late 1980's changed the health and safety laws of the U.S. and forever screwed up childhood for future generations. All of this just because they were too stupid to effectively take care of their own damn kids. What they must have been thinking: "ZOMG, little Brittney hurt herself while I was snorting lines of Valium and masturbating to soap operas!" "Since I'm too stupid and irresponsible to take care of my child I must change the law for everyone else out of guilt and boredom!"
 
2012-09-24 11:07:39 AM
This thread has become too NSFW....
 
2012-09-24 11:12:48 AM
Animated gifs are the only way to... explain... this phenomenon.
 
2012-09-24 11:14:15 AM
"If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Tramp-O-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control."

--Jack Handey
 
2012-09-24 11:20:55 AM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x275]


How the hell did he get that nickname anyway?
 
2012-09-24 11:22:03 AM
i.imgur.com

Likely to be knocked unconscious in a trampoline incident.
 
2012-09-24 11:25:58 AM
It's the best job in the world.

Link (NSFW)
 
2012-09-24 11:33:02 AM
I've got news for you people- take away all the fun stuff, and kids will STILL find a way to injure themselves. Take my friend Ryan for example. At 7, he slipped GETTING OUT OF BED, bit through his lip and got a concussion. His parents didn't sue the bed company, nor did they require he sleep on the floor from now on.

I myself fell into a wall once and cracked my noggin open, after twirling around and getting dizzy. It happens.

Teach your kids how not to act like a dumbass when doing things like playing on trampolines and climbing trees. Teach them to be safe, not to NOT.
 
2012-09-24 11:40:47 AM
When my boy was 8 I got him a mini bullet bike from Pep Boys.
It went about 40 mph and he cruised the neighborhood in swim trunks, flip flops, dago T, and sunglasses. He was the coolest 8 year old around.
 
2012-09-24 11:51:21 AM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs:


Heh... He'd just kill it.
 
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